Essay plan:

Balanced opinion

Body 1: benefits of job loyalty

- Jobs predictability Reason: feel so familiar with work Result: plan personal lives
easily
- Opportunities for career advancement Reason: loyalty is valued Result: more
handsomely paid, feel satisfied

Body 2: benefits of job hopping

- Difficult to have an ideal job on the first try Example: switch jobs several times before
figuring out passion Result: maintain enthusiasm in work
- Chances to acquire skills and knowledge Example: technical knowledge gained from
different working environments

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to
get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you
agree or disagree?

People have different views about whether we should stay at the same company for a long
time. While I recognise the benefits of loyalty to one job, I would argue that regularly switching
jobs helps achieve job satisfaction. Commented [J1]: clear opinion

There are two main reasons why I agree that people could derive a sense of job satisfaction from Commented [J2]: good vocab

sticking with a job for years. Firstly, those who stay in the same job may feel so familiar with
their work that it becomes totally predictable. By knowing their work routine perfectly well, Commented [J3]: this word is often seen as negative. You could
use manageable
workers can easily plan their personal lives and are therefore less likely to suffer from stress.
Secondly, since many managers value employee loyalty, people who are loyal to a company
have various opportunities for career advancement. Being promoted to a higher position,
workers will be more handsomely paid and so may feel satisfied with their career life.

However, it seems to me that changing jobs frequently is more beneficial for ones career. The
first reason is that not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to have their desirable job on the Commented [J4]: their ideal job

first try. For example, a person may have to switch jobs several times before finally figuring out
the job that they are passionate about. When they love their work, they can maintain
enthusiasm and therefore keep the cycle of excitement and performance going. In addition,
job hopping offers chances for individuals to acquire new skills and knowledge. Those who
work in technology, for instance, are able to gain valuable technical knowledge from different
working environments if they are willing to switch jobs. Commented [J5]: I think this is a very good point
In conclusion, while I accept that working in one organisation helps people climb the career
ladder without much stress, I believe that job hopping is more beneficial for their career life. Commented [J6]: good vocab

294 words

Good vocabulary:

stay at the same company for a long time (v): lm vic lu di ti 1 cng ty

loyalty to one job (n): gn b vi 1 cng vic

stick with a job for years (v): gn b vi 1 cng vic trong nhiu nm

work routine (n): cng vic hng ngy

plan their personal lives (v): ln k hoch cho cuc sng c nhn

suffer from stress (v): chu p lc cng vic

value employee loyalty (v) nh gi cao s trung thnh ca nhn vin

loyal to a company (adj): tng t loyalty to one job, ch khc v t loi

career advancement (n): s thng tin trong cng vic

to be promoted to a higher position (v): c thng tin

be handsomely paid (v): c tr lng hu hnh

switch jobs = change jobs (v): nhy vic

maintain enthusiasm (v): duy tr nhit huyt

keep the cycle of excitement and performance going (v): duy tr am m v s th hin trong
cng vic (cm ny kh dch chun ting Vit nn mnh tm dch nh vy)

acquire new skills and knowledge (v): c c kin thc v k nng mi

gain valuable technical knowledge (v): nhn c nhng kin thc v k thut c gi tr

working environments (n): mi trng lm vic

job hopping (n): nhy vic

This is an excellent essay, Tam, and as you will see from my comments there is very little I
can suggest to improve it. There are a number of instances when better collocation/word
choices would improve the essay, but these are only very minor. Overall 9.0.

Strengths Weaknesses
Word count OK - 294 words Minor collocations and word choices

Clear opinion and argument of both sides

discussed in details with clear relevant
examples given.
Clear overall progression with well-developed
paragraphs. Variety of appropriate linking
words used throughout. Sentence structures
are very good.
Good range of lexis but see my comments
about word choice/collocation.
Use of a variety of accurate and complex
language structures.

Spelling and punctuation all good.

You may find this article interesting:

https://www.totaljobs.com/insidejob/experts-job-hopping-help-hinder-your-career/