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Mahnum Malik
Text copyright Mahnum Malik, 2017
People say that what you do and what happens to you shapes the rest
of your life, but they dont just shape your life; they define you, they
define the person you are on the inside, they define what you feel.
Every single emotion, even the invisible ones define you, in every
aspect of life without you ever even knowing it.
-Mahnum Malik
Contents
Grief .. 5
Fear ... 16
Joy ... 27
Misery ..... 38
Revulsion . 49
Anger . 60
Love .... 71
Anxiety ..... 82
Hope .. 93
-Mark Schwahn
10:12 pm
It is often said that grief isnt just felt when you lose a
person, when you lose someone you love. Grief; in its
very definition can also be felt when you lose yourself.
When you feel as if you have absolutely no control over
what you do or even think anymore, its as if youve lost
complete control over yourself; over your body, over
your mind And a lot of people say that you can get
better and that oh, youll be back to normal in no time
but that is not, in any way true. Because once you lose
yourself, once you forget the purpose of your very
existence, once you cant even think of a single reason to
do something as normal as laugh well theres no going
back from that. Were never taught or even told about
what people actually go through in their lives. What we
are taught is to pity the dead, but what we dont realize
most of the time is that the ones who should actually be
pitied are the living. Because there is absolutely nothing
worse than knowing youre surviving but never actually
being given the chance to live. Theres a very big
difference between those two things; living and
surviving. But most of the time we fail to even notice
that its there.
6:05 pm
-Robin Williams
12:57pm
As you sit pondering over all the things you fear; one of
the thoughts that might cross your mind is the fear of
failure. The fear of failure is something felt by most
people, yet in a million different ways. Some of us fear
failing a school test while some of us may be at the stage
where we fear failing an exam that would define the rest
of our lives. Some of us fear things that are seemingly
more trivial; we fear getting caught and then facing the
consequences or we fear having to do a task that we
wouldn't have chose for ourselves. And sometimes we
fear failing the expectations of someone important to us;
or worse we fear failing our own expectations of
ourselves. Yet the funny thing is that these fears, no
matter how trivial or grave they may seem; they arent
just felt by specific individuals, we all face these fears in
one form or another, at some point in time. And this fear
of failure, the fear of not having done enough or not
being enough actually drives us to succeed. Because
most of the time; it isnt the want for success that
motivates us, it's the fear of failure. And it's this fear that
drives us to accomplish the unimaginable and surprise
even ourselves with what we're capable of.
4:18 pm
If you were to sit down and try to list all of your fears; it
would probably take you ages. You would mention fears
of all sorts; from the fear of the monsters hiding inside
your closet to the fear of dying an excruciating death.
Most of the time you'd probably be reminded of those
fears throughout our entire life; no matter how much
time passes by. But what most don't know is that most of
our fears form due to events that have already taken
place. You fear killer clowns due to countless horror
movies seen in the early hours of the morning, with an
over-filled bowl of popcorn in your hands and blankets
wrapped around our feet. You fear failure due to dreams
you abandoned somewhere along the way and
expectations you somehow failed to fulfill. You fear
betrayal because of secrets whispered around in middle
school and the memory of the aching pain that took place
when someone didn't turn out to be the person you
thought they were. You fear performing because of some
incident long ago where you suddenly froze on stage and
werent able to move a muscle. Our fears are usually
experiences that we've already had; which is why we're
sometimes scared to death to experience them again.
8:58pm
-Sonya Parker
1:46 pm
-Marshall McLuhan
3:40 pm
- Jim Butcher
2:08 pm
Have you ever felt that people mistrust you just because
of what you look like or what you seem to be? For in the
society that we live in; were quick to judge persons
character, sometimes even in a matter of seconds without
ever truly knowing who they really are. To society an
African American is automatically bound to be a
criminal looking for another petty crime to commit. To
society a Muslim is automatically a terrorist whos going
to take the lives of thousands without a moments
thought. A Buddhist is automatically someone who only
believes and tends to starve him or herself for days. A
Christian is automatically someone who isnt well
connected to their religion and indulges in supposedly
unlawful activities. A Hindu is automatically someone
who worships animals and someone who is willing to do
anything. AA Jew is automatically someone who was
victimized at one point in time and has now turned into
this cruel and greedy person. An Atheist is automatically
someone who has sinned and who has absolutely no
morals or ethics at all. And the list goes on and on,
without ever coming to an end. But we must ask
ourselves; Are any of these stereotypes even true? And
why does our blood start to boil only when it comes to
our own religion, instead of for all of the beliefs of the
world?
7:45 pm
One of the greatest things about love is the fact that love
is blind. This is because love, unlike our own mindsets,
has no boundaries limiting it to material standards. We
love without ever caring about how light the other
persons skin tone is or whether they match what society
expects them to look like. We love without ever caring
about what religion the other person belongs to, without
ever overanalyzing their beliefs or falling into the luring
trap of stereotypes. We love without ever caring about
the other persons weight or body type, without ever
writing down the numbers on the scale or creating never
ending diet plans. We lover without every giving a single
thought to what people will say or what their opinions
will entail. We love without ever wanting anything back
in return, without ever needing any reassurances or
comforting whispers. Love isnt something that can be
weighed on a scale or be compared to the latest trends in
the latest magazines. It isnt something that can be
changed by any amount of surgeries or procedures. Love
is the type of feeling that oversees all skin tones and
religions and races. It simply just creates its home in our
hearts and never ceases to exist.
4:22 pm
-Charles Spurgeon
6:40 pm
-Desmond Tutu
10:15 am
Hope is the one emotion that never lets you down. Never
fails to lift you up. Its the feeling that you get at the
highest points of your day, above even joy. Hope is what
you feel whenever you wake up to the see the sun slowly
rising in the sky, its light painting the world a thousand
different colors. Hope is what you feel when your
teachers remarks how well you may have done on a test.
Hope is that exhilarating breathe you take when you
cross the finish line after a long, grueling race. Hope is
the clenched fists and sweaty palms that you get
whenever theres an announcement. Hope is when you
just simply feel elated, more than youve ever felt before
and your head starts spinning as you ponder over the
endless possibilities. Hope is similar to that feeling that
makes you feel as if you can achieve anything and
everything, only its a hundred times better. Hope is the
reason for the dreams that take place underneath our
restless eyelids as we sleep soundly at night. And yes,
sometimes it may feel as if hope doesnt measure up to
any of this. Sometimes it may feel as if hope is the only
thing that has the ability to let us down, but what if that
feeling is just brought on by your own fears?
11:11 am
Its often said that sometimes all you need is a little bit
of hope. And personally, I guess its true. Proof of this
can be seen everyday, and sometimes its right in front
of our eyes but we still dont see it. Hope can turn an
absolutely horrible day into a day where you dont feel
as bad. It can create invisible hands that wipe away the
flowing tears in your cheeks and replace them with a
smile that has the ability to light up an entire room. It
can clear up a dark, stormy sky and reveal in its place, a
blue expanse with clouds floating leisurely through it. It
has the ability to turn even the scariest of moments into
something to laugh it, making our worst fears seem as if
they arent even there. It can tell a multitude of stories,
each one different than the last but all of them bringing a
little more joy into the dreariest of days. Hope is the
bright sun that peeks through the clouds after the heavy
showers of rain that tend to drown the entire city. In
simpler words, hope lets us dream beyond the stars and
travel to places we never even imagined would exist.
Hope is what creates new beginnings and its the very
basis of new possibilities and opportunities.
12:25 pm
Hope is the one thing that the human mind and body
simply cant function without, no matter the
circumstances. And most of us wouldnt agree with this,
but thats probably just because we dont even realize
were hoping for something until someone or something
else reminds us of the fact. But the thing is, that the
worst feeling in the world is when you feel as if you
dont have the ability to hope any more; as if youve
forgotten how to dream and yearn for things youve
wanted your whole life. Its like wanting something
more than anything else in the world and knowing deep
down that you possess the strength and ability to do it,
but just not being able to move a muscle when the time
does come. Not being able to hope is like not being able
to step out for a fresh breathe of air. Its like not being
able to see the first flowers that bloom in the spring or
not being able to accomplish something youve been
preparing for as long as you can remember. Thats what
its feel like; its like suddenly not having the strength
and willpower to get up every morning and go to school.
Its almost like you learning how to fly and coming
extremely close to doing it, only to fail at the very last
second. And lack of hope eventually just leads to a lack
of determination, and well, that just leads to not being
able to live life to the fullest.
7:54 pm
One of the main reasons to never lose hope, one that you
should never let go of, is the fact that hope is something
that always makes space for a better tomorrow. Hope is
something that never lets you fall into a vicious cycle of
the exact same events and emotions. It never lets you
predict or expect whats going to happen next, it always
surprises you. Hope is the creator of the unknown. Its
like this thick fog covering everything in front of you so
you cant see anything until you get extremely close to
it. And this might scare you at times, but it also creates
this feeling in you that longs for the next day to come as
soon as possible. Sometimes its like walking through a
narrow, dark pathway and finding your worst fear at the
end of the tunnel. But most of the time its like following
a rainbow and finding a pot of gold waiting for you at
the end. And thats really just what it is, its unknown.
Hope fills your life with all sorts of unexpected turns and
surprises. And yes, some days that surprise isnt always
good but the days when it? Doesnt it make everything
worth the wait? Doesnt it make all the surprises and the
fear and the anticipation worth it?
4:55 pm
-Brene Brown
2:07 pm
While you need to accept who you are, at the same time
its almost as important to accept who everyone else is.
So dont judge them based on their religion or what it
dictates. Dont judge them based on what their skin color
is and what stereotypes have taught us to think about
them. Dont judge them just because they dont fit into
your ideals of perfection and what you think young men
and women should look like. Dont judge theme based
on what you think you may have heard about them or
something that they might have said. Just be accepting.
Be accepting of who they are and what joy theyre going
to bring into your life. Be accepting of their differences
and what makes them unique. Be accepting of their
weight or religion or gender or race or whatever else that
makes them who they are. Empower them and
strengthen them to be who they truly are and never hide
it from the world. You probably know what it feel like
right? You probably know what it feels like to not be
accepted. So why put those around you through that?
Why not make them feel as if they belong? Because they
do. We all do.
12:00am
And as I write this last one, I bid you farewell and I hope
from the bottom of my heart that anyone reading this
will one day, fall in love with themselves. And as I
continue writing this Im starting to feel this undeniable
sense of dread in me, but at the same time Im
overwhelmed with happiness and pride. I guess thats
just what life is isnt it? Its not just one emotion at one
time and another at the next. Its never all happy or all
sad. Its always a confusing, chaotic mixture of
everything. And I hope that, no matter how long it takes
and no matter what it takes, you one day find that place
in your heart where youre truly content and proud of
who you are. I hope that one day you see yourself the
way others see you. I hope you cherish and protect
yourself the way you deserve to be. And I guess now the
time has come to say goodbye to you. But always
remember to never let you emotions take control of you,
instead take control of them and with that youll be able
to accomplish feats you never even dreamed of. So
dream. And grieve. And fear. And be happy. And
sometimes be sad. Feel appalled. Feel angry. Let
yourself fall in love. Let yourself worry. Let yourself
hope. And let yourself accept. Thats all I have to say.
Thank You.
Acknowledgements
To those who are reading this; youre the reason this book
ever even came into being.