FOCUS COMMENTS TARGETS

Good range of different shot types used Could include more close-ups of girls face to show
A wide array of both close-ups and long shots; reactions to her reality sadness, rage and fear
Cinematography
particularly interesting with the explorer scene
with the squirrel
Links with visuals and voiceover throughout, e.g. Could show more of them writing to link back
when binoculars mentioned, this is shown visually every so often
Appropriate pace and content Duration of shots good
Was a comfortable pace, no shot seemed too
long or too short
Get a good sense of the character throughout Was difficult at some points to tell differences
watching the film parts like when they talk between mum and child though this will be easy
about learning to swim, but being too messy to tell in filming
Character representations shows personality nice touch
The child was an enjoyable character as they
seemed blissful and content with a little, whilst
also showing the extent to the childs imagination
The childs point-of-view would intrigue the -
audience
Entire theme very catered to audience
Parents will be intrigued by the film as they have
Targeting the audience children of their own
The imagination vs reality is a fresh concept that
adults will enjoy as it causes them to take more of
an interest in their children causes parents to
reflect on their own behaviour
Appropriate young childish voices Did get stuck on some lines
The terms used throughout the dialogue were Could also hear the clicking of the laptop pad
right for a young child could be cut out
Dialogue
References to familiar things such as bake off
and buddy bench made the film remarkable for
a social drama
 I like the use of voiceover the way it is read
emphasises that it is a child
Joyful backing score
Music/sound effects
The cutting off the music brings back to sharp
reality very effective last line
Effective use of split screens
The split screen is cool to show both present and
future
Editing Unique way to picture the speech
Could also be interpreted as reality vs dreams
further on which does create an interesting
perspective
Could make the voiceover louder in comparison
to the piano, as it is difficult to hear at times
A fade in or lowering the music for the what I
want to be would help us can hear better
Became slightly repetitive could add additional
loops to each activity
When showing split screens of child/adult doing
cooking, I would have put them the other way
around
Was an out of place shot at the end that didnt
look right at 5:00