Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 39

Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.

html

a Web-based course sponsored by Kappa Omicron Nu


(KON) Honor Society
and dedicated to the mission of empowering leaders

Acknowledgement: this course was adapted from Mentoring: The Human Touch (Mitstifer,
Wenberg, Schatz, 1991) by Susan S. Stratton, Lisa H. Wootton, and Dorothy I. Mitstifer.
Copyright 2000, Kappa Omicron Nu.

PRINT a complete version of this course, including all


linked activities.

Overview
This course is offered as a contribution to leadership development. Mentoring is a popular topic
in education and business but Self-Managed Mentoring puts a different twist on the subject.
Self-development, after all, is a personal choice, and this course enables persons to take charge
of their lives. In return for this freebie we ask only that you write your storya sort of testimonial
about how you used the content of this course and what the outcomes were. You may send
your story to kon.org.

You, of course, know that copyright law holds that use of this material for purposes other than
your personal self-development requires advance approval. Approval can be acquired through
kon.org.

There are at least four choices for utilizing the course:

1. Knowledge - Read the text to learn about mentoring, especially self-managed


mentoring. The "e-lectures" are identified by the following symbol:

2. Experiential Knowledge - Read the text and select several exercises that increase
your competence in selected areas.

1 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

3. Self-Managed Life Change - Read the text and complete the whole series of
exercises in order to make a major difference in your life.

4. Life Change facilitated by Telementoring or E-mail Mentoring - Enhance the process


with a mentor selected by you, or contact Kappa Omicron Nu to supply a mentor (there
may be a cost associated with this choice). Requests can be made through kon.org.

There are five sections and twenty-seven activities in this course, and the authors recommend a
minimum of fifteen hours (for options 3 and 4 above) to get the best value for your investment of
time.

Opportunities for college credit, CEUs, or PDUs This course could be administered for college
credit like a special problem or as a component of a course, but persons desiring such credit
must take the initiative. Kappa Omicron Nu will support such efforts if requested.

*Tip for navigating in the web -b ased course: In addition to the links at the bottom of each activity,
the browser "Back" button will take you to the immediately preceding location.

Section I: Introduction/Orientation

A person cannot lead others without first learning how to lead oneself. A mentor cannot mentor
others without first having been mentored successfully. It is in knowing thyself and recognizing
your own strengths AND weaknesses that authentic leadership begins. It is in the experience of
seek and you shall find; ask and you shall receive that we learn the wisdom of life and powerful
strategies to help others.

Completing this course well will require four commitments from you:

1. Self-discipline to complete all the activities provided. Each activity will help you
explore a part of yourself that you may not have thought about before.

2. Keeping a journal. All activities should be kept in that journal, as well as other
reflections. It is recommended that you continue writing the journal beyond the
completion of the course. Journaling can help you reflect on who you are in the world
and how life impacts you. At the beginning of your journal, label 3-5 pages with
Mentoring Needs. It is on these pages that you will accumulate a list of mentoring
needs, which will present themselves as you progress through the activities of this
course. You will find this symbol at each activity that requires you to write in your
journal:

2 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

3. Design for yourself a support group of three other people that you can call on as you
progress through this course of study. The members of this group can serve you in the
following ways:

As your point of accountability. You need to tell someone that you are doing a
specific exercise and that you want him or her to check up on you to b e certain
you have completed it b y a date certain. Select someone who can motivate you.
As your confidant. There will b e things that come to you through your reflections
that you may want to talk ab out. Such conversations may b e very personal.
Select someone you can trust in those moments.
As your cheerleader. There may b e times you will want to not follow through with
this course. Select someone who will remind you of your vision as you b egin this
course.

Activity 1.1: My Support Group

Identify your support group in your journal.

As you progress through this course, lean on these people to help you
in your personal and professional growth.

4. On a daily basis, ask yourself the following questions in the morning


and in the evening. Asking these questions will set you on a healthy
path of proactive noticing of you in the world. The questions can simply
be a mental exercise that takes about 3-5 minutes in the morning and
evening OR you can journal your responses. The key is to develop a
pattern of consistent questions that empower you on a daily b asis.

Morning Empowerment Questions

1. What am I excited about in my life now?

3 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

What ab out that makes me excited? How does that make me feel?

2. What am I grateful about in my life now?

What ab out that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel?

3. What am I enjoying most in my life right now?

What ab out that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?

4. What am I committed to in my life right now?

What ab out that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?

5. Who do I love? Who loves me?

What ab out that makes me loving? How does that make me feel?

Evening Empowerment Questions (Robbins, 1991)

1. What have I given today?

2. What did I learn today?

3. How has today added to the quality of my life?

4. How did I contribute to others today?

5. How did I show my love and compassion for others today?

What is mentoring? Why is it important to you?

A mentor is generally considered a more experienced person who alternately functions as a


coach, counselor, and a teacher. The mentoring relationship has many functions:

Enhance skill and intellectual development,


Welcome and facilitate entry and advancement in the work situation,
Expand horizons and perspectives,
Acquaint the mentee with values, customs, resources, and professional connections,
Model the professional role,
Advise, give moral support and build confidence,
Furnish a relatively objective assessment of strengths and weaknesses,
Define the newly emerging self and to encourage the dream.

Mentoring is carried on in informal and formal ways. It can be done through facilitation by another
individual or through self-facilitation. This course focuses on creating a Self-Managed Mentoring
Program.

4 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Completing this course well will put you on the path to successful adulthood, a promising
professional life, and a healthy, integrated personal approach to life.

Informal mentoring

Most people experience the informal happenstance mentoring throughout a lifetime. Lucky
mentees are chosen by persons who take a special interest in them and promote their
personal or career development. A major problem with this informal mentoring is that women
and minorities are the least likely to be adopted by a mentor. The old boys network for
promising young men, especially white, middle class men, has not yet been fully adapted for
other deserving candidates. Thus the reason for the development of more formal mentoring
programs and services.

Formal mentoring

Formal mentoring programs vary in scope and design. Some are sophisticated programs with
staffs for training and monitoring progress; others are volunteer-led networks for supporting
mentors and mentees. Professional associations and business are likely sponsors of mentoring
networks. Personal coaches, like a personal trainer, are available for hire by either a corporate
professional development department for promising career candidates OR by an individual who
is determined to fulfill career dreams.

Self-Facilitation or Mentoring Self-Management Program

Through self-facilitation or self-management, mentees identify, understand, and use their unique
developmental patterns to manage their own mentoring. In other words, by observing yourself
objectively, and reflecting on what you observe, you can determine exactly what you need to
overcome your next developmental challenge. A mentoring self-management program places the
responsibility onto the mentee and expands the notion of mentoring to include peers, parents
and siblings, biographies, illuminating materials and media, reflection on field experiences and
serial mentoring.

There are two types of self-management: Passive and Proactive

Passive self-management occurs when you put yourself in a situation where things will happen
to you, which you believe will be empowering. By placing yourself in certain situations, you are
provided with experiences, which affect you more or less profoundly. When you choose to enroll in
a course or to work in a particular environment, you are practicing passive self-management.

Proactive self-management occurs when you consciously choose to alter your behaviorto
interrupt how you normally do things, believing this can benefit you. You may choose to speak or
listen or behave in a new way. You take the initiativeit is your idea, your choice, your action. For
example, choosing to exercise is proactive self-management for a person who may normally be
inactive. Choosing to wear a different style of clothing may alter how people respond to you.
Beginning meditation, expressing feelings you usually hide, or sharing secrets are all examples

5 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

of proactive self-management.

This proactive self-management focus allows you to work through all the barriers you internally
create to resist change in behavior. Using your conscious will in pursuit of a personal goal is the
thing that gives you the energy to keep on the path of pursuit. As you become more proactive in
your life, you will also become stronger.

As you pursue your career, you will ultimately be in a profession where you must mentor and lead
others. For a mentor-in-training, self-management is essential. You need to take on training
yourself to be fully conscious and as aware as possible. This self-management training needs to
become a life practice, focused on looking for ways of continuous self-improvement.

This course is just the beginning. It provides you tools and resources to identify your needs and
processes, ways to assess the timing of the mentoring activity as well as tools to determine the
best mentoring form to overcome the unique personal and professional challenges you face.

Activity 1.2: The Story of Me


(Cameron, 1996, p. 50).

In your journal (after the Mentoring Needs pages), title the next several pages as follows:

Years 0-5, Years 6-10, Years 11-15, Years 16-20, Years 21-25, etc. in five year increments to your
current age.

On each page allocated, answer the following questions about that time frame:

Where did you live?

Who were your major players?

Were there any significant pets?

What was my favorite? Food? Game? Music? Friend? Toy(s)? Hobbies? Interests?
Clothes?

What were my major events during that time?

What are my dominant memories of the time?

Staying in touch with all of you is important as you b egin to reflect on where you want to go and

6 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

what you need.

This historical review may take 2 pages or mayb e 20. Some of it may b e difficult to recall and
some will flow quite easily. Reviewing the history of any relationship is the first step in determining
the next developmental challenges.

Activity 1.3: Reflection

After completing the narrative review of your life, record your observations in your journal,
completing at least one of the following sentences:

Ive become aware


After some reflection, Ive decided
Im proud of myself because I
A pattern I have noticed

Activity 1.4: Who were your informal mentors?

Defining Your Mentors and Exploring Mentoring Relationships

What mentoring messages did important people in your life leave with you? What effect did they
have on who you are, who you can be, and what you should do? Did they instill you with strong,
repetitive messages? Use the space below to explore both the positive and negative messages
youve received.

Function

Person Mentoring (Exemplar, Visionary, Motivator, Sponsor, Teacher,


/Relationship Message Supporter, Listener, etc.)

7 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Mentoring Messages

Patterns Feelings Desired Changes

8 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Activity 1.5: Coat of Arms

Personal coats of arms have never been popular in the United


States, but many families have these heraldic devices that reference
their ancestral heritage. The "Coat of Arms" strategy is not concerned
with the inherited heraldry of family hand-me-down symbols but with
the desirable qualities with which you would like to be associated.

In the appropriate areas of your coat of Arms, answer six questions,


not in words but in pictures. The drawings may be simple, even
crude, as long as they mean something to you; as long as you know
what they express. This strategy seeks the quality of values, not the
quality of artwork.

Why symbols? Not only are symbols or pictographs the traditional


means of illustrating heraldic shields, but the use of abstract
symbols may force us to think beyond words. As a famous French
writer said, "Many of us use words to conceal thought more than to
express it." Here we will avoid being too verbal and hiding behind
words. Let's see what we can picture.

DIRECTIONS:

Draw pictures to depict your answers to six (6) of the following questions.

QUESTIONS:

9 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

These questions will help you identify the personal qualities that you wish to represent you.

1. What do you regard as your greatest personal achievement?

2. What do you regard as your family's greatest achievement?

3. What is the one thing that other people can do to make you most happy?

4. What would you do if you had one year to live and were guaranteed success in whatever you
attempted?

5. What three words would you most like to have said about you if you died today?

6. What is one value, a deep commitment, from which you would never budge?

7. What is the material possession most significant to you?

8. What is your greatest achievement of the past year?

9. What three words (qualities) would you like to have associated with you? These could become
your personal motto, words to live by.

Source: Simon, S.B. (1974). Meeting yourself halfway. Niles, IL: Argus.

After completing the Coat of Arms exercise, record your observations in your journal, completing
at least one of the following sentences:

Ive become aware


After some reflection, Ive decided
Im proud of myself because I

Activity 1.6: Mentoring Needs

Have any of the activities in Section I suggested any needs you may have
for mentoring? Enter those needs on the first pages of your journal.

Activity 1.7: Self-Empowerment

10 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Have you been faithfully asking yourself the morning and evening
empowerment questions? Remember, they will help you notice how you
are in the world, but they will also help you see your life in a positive light
and reduce your stress level!

Have you been using your support group of three to keep you
accountable to this process? What do you need from them to complete
the next section of this course?

Section II: What Do You Need to Get to the Next Level?


Exploring Your Mentoring Needs

The concept of self-managed mentoring is about clarifying your values, assessing your own
mentoring needs, setting goals and developing an action plan to achieve your goals. In other
words, you design your own unique mentoring program.

The map that describes your mentoring strategies will be unlike anyone elses. Your life
experiences are always in flux and are being shaped by how you deal with life on lifes terms. As
in any wise planning process, establishing a vision is the first step. The exercises in this section
will help you reflect on the big picture of YOU and give you an opportunity to notice your themes
and ruts, and consider alternative futures for YOU.

Activity 2.1: Dream Inventory

Every reality begins with an idea, a dream, a vision. Journaling your


dreams, no matter how extravagant or insignificant they may be, helps to
give shape to the path of the future. Recording these dreams in one
place will help create a big picture of your future, illuminating the
challenges yet to overcome to achieve your dreams.

So take off the blinders of probability and possibility. Throw out the filters
of whether you need it, deserve it, or are worth it. List everything here that
youve ever wantedto travel, to own, to be or to become. Think about
what YOU want.

11 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

In terms of Self, think about the total you. Consider what you want
professionally, financially (materially), socially, physically, intellectually,
emotionally, ethically, spiritually, and family relationship-wise. Continue
adding to the list in your journal, as you create new dreams.

Activity 2.2: The 100 Questions


(Gelb, 1998, p. 59).

Step 1: In one sitting, in your journal, make a list of 100 questions that are important to you. The
list can include any kind of question as long as it seems significant to you. Your questions may
range from Why is the sky blue? to What is the meaning of my existence? to How can I laugh
more? to How can I enjoy the cloudy days more? to What grad school is right for me? Write
quickly, dont edit. Dont worry about repeating the same question. The first 20 questions will be
easy, and the next 30 will offer themes and needs. The final fifty will likely be profound thoughts
and unexpected discoveries.

Step 2: Reflection. Once you have the 100 questions written, set them aside. In another sitting,
consider the emerging themes without judging them. Write your observations about the list in
your journal. Look at the themes that are presentwhat do they say about the challenges and
focus that you are presented?

Step 3: Your Top Ten. Choose the 10 questions of your 100 that seem most significant to you.
Rank them in the order of importance to you. Dont try to answer them, just put them in one place
where you can easily find them.

Activity 2.3: Checklist for Personal


Values
(Roberts, 1994, p. 210).

12 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Step I: From the list of values (both work and personal), select the ten that are most important to
youas guides for how to behave, or as components of a valued way of life. Feel free to add any
values of your own to the list.

___Achievement ___Friendships ___Pleasure

___Advancement & promotion ___Growth ___Power & authority

___Adventure ___Having a family ___Privacy

___Affection (love and caring) ___Helping other people ___Public service

___Arts ___Helping society ___Purity

___Challenging problems ___Honesty ___Quality of what I take part in

___Change and variety ___Independence ___Quality relationships

___Close relationships ___Influencing others ___Recognition (respect from others, status)

___Community ___Inner harmony ___Religion

___Competence ___Integrity ___Reputation

___Competition ___Intellectual status ___Responsibility & Accountability

___Cooperation ___Involvement ___Security

___Country ___Job tranquility ___Self-respect

___Creativity ___Knowledge ___Serenity

___Decisiveness ___Leadership ___Sophistication

___Democracy ___Location ___Stability

___Ecological awareness ___Loyalty ___Status

___Economic security ___Market position ___Supervising others

___Effectiveness ___Meaningful work ___Time freedom

___Efficiency ___Merit ___Truth

___Ethical practice ___Money ___Wealth

___Excellence ___Nature ___Wisdom

___Excitement ___Being around others who are open and honest ___Work under pressure

13 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

___Expertise ___Order (tranquility, stability, conformity) ___Work with others

___Fame ___Personal development (living up to the fullest use ___Working alone


of my potential)
___Fast living
___Physical challenge
___Fast-paced work

___Financial gain

___Freedom

Step 2: Now that you have identified ten values, imagine if you are only permitted to have five
values. Which five would you give up? Cross them off.

Step 3:From the remaining five values, identify you top three and circle them.

Step 4: Take a look at your top three values and answer the following questions in your journal:

1. Exactly what do the value terms mean to you? What are you expecting from
yourselfeven in bad times?

2. How would your life be different if those values were prominent and practiced?

3. What would an organization be like that encouraged its employees to live up to


those values?

4. Are you willing to choose a life in which these values are paramount?

Activity 2.4: Checklist for


Professional Competencies (Strohmeier, Bonnstetter, Wentworth Drahosz,
1993)

Take a look at the list of professional competencies that could enhance your career success.
Check off the #1 area of your concern in the eight categories presented.

Interpersonal Skills Time Management

___Communication Skills ___ Personal Knowledge and Awareness

14 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

___Negotiation, Perception and Adaptability ___ Self-Direction and Motivation

___Coping Techniques ___ Goal Setting Ability

___Conflict Management & Resolution ___ Decisiveness

___Persuasion Skills ___ Decision-Making Process

___Team Building ___ Organizational Ability

___Affirmation Skills ___ Prioritizing

___Self-Awareness ___ Delegating

Communication Skills Goal Setting Skills

___Written Communication ___Personal Motivation

___Verbal Communication ___Self-Awareness and Values

___Electronic Communication ___Creative Thinking Skills

___Listening Skills ___Decisiveness

___Presentation Skills ___Planning and Strategy

___Facilitation Skills for Groups or Meetings ___Vision and Imaging Skills

___Tact and Diplomacy ___Prioritizing

___Selling Style and Persuasion Skills ___Goal Setting Process

___Body Language and Nonverbal Messages Preparation for a Career in Management

Technical Expertise ___Leadership

___External Awareness of Your Academic Discipline ___Delegation

___Internal Awareness of Your Academic Discipline ___Team Building

___Financial Understanding and Management ___Financial Management

___Project Management ___Human Resource Management

___Technology Updates ___Strategic Thinking & Planning Skills

___Customer Focused Orientation ___Mentoring Ability

___Computer Literacy ___Communication Skills

Conflict Resolution ___Analyzing Performance Objectives

15 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

___Analysis and Perception Skills Executive Development

___Managing Agreement ___Political Awareness

___Negotiation Skills ___Social Awareness

___Resolution Focus ___Vision and Long-Range Planning

___Creativity ___Mission & Strategic Alignment

___Communication Skills ___Creative Thinking

___Counseling Skills ___Courage

___Stress Recognition Skills ___Crisis Management

___Process Management Skills ___Intuitive Skills

___Leadership Skills

___Delegating

___Financial Analysis

___Building Coalitions

Once you have identified your Big 8, answer the following questions in your journal:

Why do you see this area currently as incompetence? What specifically is the gap in skill
or knowledge that you see in your life or career?
How will learning about that area impact your life or career?
If you displayed that area competently, what doors would it open for you?
Professional visionwhat would possessing that competency bring to you?

Activity 2.5: Goal Setting (to complete this exercise, you must first
complete Activities 1.1-1.4, 2.1-2.4)

16 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

From my 100 questions activity, what themes are present to me that I need to explore further?
Enter those needs on the first pages of your journal.

What situation or type of relationship recurs in your life? Does this suggest a need? Enter those
needs on the first pages of your journal.

From your dream inventory, what do you want to change in your life that will help you get what you
want? Enter those needs on the first pages of your journal.

From your Checklist of Personal Values, what must you do in order to put your life and career
pursuits in alignment with your personal values? Enter those needs on the first pages of your
journal.

From the Checklist for Professional Competencies, enter the eight needs you have identified in
the first few pages of journal.

Given your history and current situation, what do you need to get to the next level? Enter those
needs on the first pages of your journal.

Complete the Goal-Setting Worksheet:

Goal-Setting Worksheet

Step 1: Take about 3 minutes to write, in the space below, the professional and personal
values you hold.

The following underlying beliefs (values) will guide my future decisions:

Step 2: Take about 5 minutes to write, in the space below, two to four needs.

My current needs are:

17 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Step 3: Prioritize your needs by indicating your first and second priorities.

First:

Second:

Step 4: Write goals to achieve your first and second needs. Use an active verb to complete the
sentence stem.

I will:

Step 5: Revealing and Clarifying Personal GoalsDiscuss (with a member of your support
group) your values, needs, priorities, and goals. Listen to feedback and rewrite goals if
warranted.

Activity 2.6: Self-Empowerment

Have you been faithfully asking yourself the morning and evening
empowerment questions? Remember, they will help you notice how you
are in the world, but they will also help you see your life in a positive light
and reduce your stress level!

Have you been using your support group of three to keep you
accountable to this process? What do you need from them to complete
the next section of this course?

18 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Section III: Charting Your Mentoring Plan


Your next mission, should you decide to accept it, is to look at your history with mentoring. As in
any wise planning process, a review of history by scanning the environment for relevant
influences is important to understanding where your needs really are. Use the following activities
to consider, admire, and improve upon your own mentoring methods.

3 As Of Primary Mentors

Mentors are classified by Darling & Schatz (1991) into three categories.

ATTRACTION:
Feeling Drawn to Your Mentor

"I felt drawn toward" I was inspired by" "I enjoyed being with"

ACTION:
A Mentor Takes Action for Your Benefit

"She looked after my best interests" "He opened doors for me" "She always
gave me good advice"

AFFECT:
The Mentor Has Positive Feelings About You

"She gave me confidence" "He listened to me" "She helped me learn to trust
myself"

Professional Mentoring Behaviors

The following Table describes the "3 A's" and the component characteristics in more detail and
serves as an assessment instrument.

MENTORING BEHAVIOR MENTORING ROLE

Role Model

Attraction Domain

19 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Her energy and determination inspired me The Exemplar


to... I saw how he was able to... I admired
the way she... Watching him showed me how Importance:
I should...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

He made me see the potential of... She The Visionary


showed us where we were going and what we
needed to do to improve our profession After Importance:
speaking with him, I saw the possibilities for...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

Her energy motivated me to... He was so The Motivator


fascinating and dynamic that I... I never knew
how exciting this could be until she... Importance:

Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

He believed so strongly that... She showed The Values Builder


me how important this was if I wanted to... I
never realized how much we all needed to... Importance:

Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

Inv estor

Action Domain

She spent a lot of time with me... He involved The Sponsor


us in experiences that helped us with... She
got me interested in... He appointed me to a Importance:
position that opened doors for me in...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

I learned so much from her about... he The Teacher


helped me to learn and grow in... She listened
to my problems and guided me toward Importance:
solutions... He made me look at ways I could
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High
have done better...

She pushed me to succeed when I didnt think The Prodder


I could do it... He encouraged me and urged
me to achieve... She forced me to take that Importance:

20 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

first step toward... Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

He always played Devils Advocate and made The Confronter


me prove my point... She made me examine
the motives behind my decisions... He Importance:
insisted I live up to my potential in...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

Supporter

Affect Domain

She gave me the courage I needed to go to TheCourage Builder


that interview... He gave me confidence in
myself by showing me that I had something to Importance:
contribute...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

She was so warm, I knew she cared about The Support Giver
me... He always made himself available to
me... I felt I could do no wrong in her eyes... Importance:
He provided the unconditional love I needed
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High
to...

She was always willing to listen I can tell him The Listener/Adviser
anything... After I told her what was wrong, she
showed me how to... He was always there for Importance:
me when I needed someone to talk to...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

She was such a good friend to me... He The Ally


brought me into the group and made sure I
was comfortable... She took a such a Importance:
personal interest in me that I was able to...
Low 1 2 3 4 5 High

Adapted from the research of Lu Ann W. Darling, Ed.D., based on 100 interviews with nurses and
dietitians (Darling & Schatz, 1991).

Activity 3.1a: The Influences in Your Life

21 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Identify a significant mentor who has contributed to your growth and rate
the importance of each characteristic from 1 (low) to 5 (high) on the
"Professional Mentoring Behaviors" Table. This form can also be helpful
in facilitating self-guidance and personal growth.

Write a message to yourself (in your journal) to explain what you learned
about mentoring in this activity.

Activity 3.1b: Reflection

3 Mentoring Domains

Primary Mentors possess characteristics from all three domains. Secondary Mentors will
possess characteristics from one or two of these domains.

Who are your Primary and Secondary Mentors? List them below, and add to your list as you gain
new mentors.

22 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Primary Mentors Secondary Mentors

1 1

2 2

3 3

4 4

5 5

6 6

Complete the following sentence in your journal: In looking for a


mentoring relationship, the style of mentor I value includes the following
roles:

Activity 3.2: Mentoring Experiences

In your journal, reflect on your mentoring experiences to date,


answering the following questions:

I experienced growth through my relationship(s) with: Explain.

I experienced expansion through my relationship(s) with:


Explain.

Through my relationship with ______, I came to the significant


realization that.

Activity 3.3: Self-Mentoring Techniques I Use

Methods for Self-Mentoring

23 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Self-mentoring is the way you guide yourself through problems and decisions. These
self-developed techniques are internal and self-sustaining approaches to life. These techniques
revolve around a personal belief system that significantly impacts the way you view your world
and the help and resources that are available to you. As you do this activity, you may find that
some of your methods may be outdated or ineffective. You might also find that you would like to
incorporate new techniques into your approach to achieve more effective problem solving and
decision-making.

Use these thoughts to reflect on your self-mentoring traits.


Record your observations and reflections in your journal.

I was always told to... Parents, teachers, or I suddenly noticed... We are constantly
other adults are often our first mentors. They exploring our surroundings and examining
teach us their values, basic survival skills, and other peoples coping mechanisms and
more. We eventually internalize some or all of varied ideas. We often tailor these to our own
their views and use them throughout our lives: purposes and integrate new ideas into our
self-mentoring techniques:

I learned on my own that... Our personalities It finally occurred to me that... Sometimes


or childhood experiences may have led us to people who are unable to accept advice or
formulate our own opinions and independent help from others experience an event that
ways. We may learn best with a minimum of changes their inward focus and allows them
outside assistance: to be more receptive to assistance. This
commonly occurs as an element of
maturation:

I always felt that... Some people have such Other self-mentoring methods:
strong, constant views that they seem to have
a source different from those described above.
Some seem to possess innate abilities or an
inner compass which guides them:

Activity 3.4: Readiness to Accept Mentoring

24 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

A mentor-mentee relationship is only effective if there is trust, openness to new logic,


and an interest to grow personally and professionally.

To qualify as mentee and further pursue growth, you must have:

the desire to learn and grow in your personal and professional life
the ambition to move forward
the ability to take risks
commitment and loyalty to yourself
a positive perception of the self
a combination of intelligence and common sense
a strong commitment to goals and personal responsibility
a willingness to listen and follow through with directions.

The linked checklist is a self-evaluation tool for determining your readiness for mentoring.

Mentee Checklist*

Self-Assessment Ready Not Ready

I know the kind of career mentoring I


3 2 1 0
want

Im willing to accept a mentors help,


3 2 1 0
if appropriate

Im a good listenerI hear what the


3 2 1 0
person is saying

Im a good follower 3 2 1 0

I can be counted on to carry out


3 2 1 0
commitments

Id be willing to let a mentor take 3 2 1 0


much of the credit for our

25 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

accomplishments at first while I


learn as much as possible

I learn new things quickly 3 2 1 0

Id be willing to speak up
(diplomatically) if I disagreed with a 3 2 1 0
mentorIm not a yes person

Im good about expressing


3 2 1 0
appreciation to people who help me

I feel that my career potential is


highId be a good risk as a 3 2 1 0
mentee

Total________

Scoring:

21-30 You should be an excellent mentee.

11-20 You need some time to think about your needs, abilities, and the nature of your
commitment.

10 or less You appear to have no desire to find a mentor.

*Adapted from Phillips-Jones, L. (1982). Mentors and protgs. New York: Arbor House.

Activity 3.5: Mentoring Needs

26 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Have any of the activities in Section III suggested any needs you may
have for mentoring? Enter those needs on the first pages of your journal.

Activity 3.6: Self-Empowerment

Have you been faithfully asking yourself the morning and evening
empowerment questions? Remember, they will help you notice how you
are in the world, but they will also help you see your life in a positive light
and reduce your stress level!

Have you been using your support group of three to keep you
accountable to this process? What do you need from them to complete
the next section of this course?

Section IV: Developing Your Mentoring Action Plan

The development of a Self-Mentoring Plan requires analysis of the available resources. In other
words, you need to explore alternative human and knowledge resources that could assist you in
your planning for mentoring, and then determine which is the best approach to get what you
need.

Your specific developmental challenges may require one of three types of mentorship: traditional,
step-ahead or peer mentorship. You may also find value in secondary mentoring relationships
like social or professional network connections or a niche mentor.

Traditional Mentors are the revered elder members of society/family, possessing wisdom or
experience. The department head of the university would fit into this category.

Step-Ahead Mentors are the older siblings of society/family. They are slightly older and have
more experience and knowledge. A graduate level student would be a step-ahead mentor for an
undergrad.

Peer Mentors are our equals in society/family. They are from our peer group and are our
colleagues and friends with whom we cooperatively share and learn.

27 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Secondary Mentors can be extremely helpful in filling mentoring needs, especially when the ties
you form are developed correctly and used wisely. Though an individual network tie may be of the
secondary mentoring variety, when taken as a whole, the network may have the combined impact
of a primary mentor.

A Niche Mentor will assist with one specific skill or task.

Activity 4.1: Reflection. What Type of Mentor do you need?

Given your current needs (on your goal worksheet), what value could
each of these types of mentors bring to you as you work through the
challenge presented? For example, how could a traditional mentor best
help me with this issue? How could a step-ahead mentor help me with
the issue? What value could a peer mentor bring with this issue?
Consider the existing or potential networking opportunities in your life
and determine if this mentoring avenue might be used more effectively
and bring value to the issue at hand. Is there a niche in your life that
needs a mentor now?

Write the answers to these questions in your journal. Then identify which
type of mentor is best suited to the issue of concern.

What Style of Mentor Is Best for Me?

The power in a mentor-mentee relationship is an important consideration. In activity 3.1b, you


considered what mentoring role is most valuable to you. W. A. Gray (1986) describes four levels
of power in the mentor-mentee relationship. These levels illustrate the development of a formal
mentoring relationship. Willingness and openness to learn are absolute requirements for any
type of mentoring. Level 1 is almost like sitting at the feet of the mentor, absorbing the mentors
wisdom and submissively acting upon the direction of the mentor within your value system. Some
may find this level of relationship challenging. However, heed the mentoring paradox: You cannot
mentor others unless you are willing to be mentored yourself.

The level 1 power relationship will likely apply if you have no successful experience or
competence in the area of pursuit. If being in the level 1 state of the relationship troubles you, be
encouraged by the concept that these are stages that one passes through. When you begin to
gain experience and wisdom, the power relationship should shift to higher levels.

28 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Whatever level you begin at in your mentoring relationship will be determined by your willingness
and motivation to learn in combination with your competence in the area. Hersey (1984) tracks
the leaders (mentors) role with the followers (mentees) role. When you enter into a mentoring
relationship, you must honestly assess your willingness and ability and then choose a mentor
who meets the needs of the level you require for growth.

Herseys Situational Leader Illustration Grays Mentor-Mentee Relationship Model

When the The leader should: Levels The mentor:


follower is: of
Power

Unable and Provide specific instructions 1 Is very directive and tells the
unwilling or and closely monitor or inexperienced mentee what to do and
insecure, supervise performance. how to do it.

Unable but Explain decisions and 2 Provides major direction to the mentee
willing or provide opportunity for based on greater experience, realism,
motivated clarification. and expertise to do things and get
things done.

Able but Share ideas and facilitate in 3 Acknowledges the mentees


unwilling or making decisions. competencies and experience and
insecure facilitates more equal contribution
during interactions.

Able and Turn over responsibility for 4 Delegates greater responsibility.


willing or decisions and Listens to and learns from the mentee.
motivated implementation

Toxic Mentors

No environment is free from adversity. Seldom does a relationship develop smoothly and without
crisis. Carl Jung said there is no coming to consciousness without pain. Every relationship has
the potential for toxic effects, and the mentoring relationship is no exception.

You will not find a perfect mentor, but what you want to seek instead are real and honest
connections. Perfection has no depth and no personality. Imperfection means that sometimes we
will get upset with others, or they will get upset with us. The mentor-mentee relationship requires

29 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

a commitment to stay in the relationship dialogue as long as both people are willing to work on
the relationship. Working through crises is how a relationship grows from simply being an idea to
having its unique reality.

The rough spots may frighten you. You may wonder whats wrong with me or with the other
person, or the relationship. You cannot escape such questions. To run from the challenge cuts off
the possibilities for growth. Learning to limit the negative consequences of such relationships
may be a necessary life lesson for you.

Keeping that in mind, there are several types of toxic mentors that you may have in your life:

The Avoider is the person who is never accessible.


The Dumper lets the mentee get into a new role or situation and lets them sink or swim.
The Blocker either avoids meeting the mentees needs, withholds information, or blocks
development by supervising too closely.
The Criticizer publicly tears down a person or constantly criticizes.

There are several ways of handling toxic mentoring relationships.

If the fit isnt right, be honest about the difficulties you sense in the relationship and end the
relationship with the mentor. If you still need mentoring, find another mentor that fits better
with what you need.
If you cant stay away from the toxic relationship, balance the relationship with a support
network and or draw upon your own internal resources to minimize the detrimental effects.
Although toxic relationships have an impact, you can look for opportunities in the situation
and not be blinded by the dangers you foresee. Using the list of questions below may help
you find opportunities in the situation:

What is great about this problem? (Robbins, 1991)

What is great about this problem?


What is not perfect yet?
What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?
How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

Activity 4.2: Reflection. Toxic Mentors in My Life

In your journal, consider the primary mentors you have had in your life
(Activity 3.1a.). Were any of them toxic mentors? What impact did that
toxicity have on you at the time? What impact does it have on you today?

Consider your secondary mentors listed in Activity 3.1a. Were any of them

30 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

toxic mentors? What impact did that toxicity have on you at the time?
What impact does it have on you today?

How will you deal with toxic mentors in the future?

Activity 4.3: Reviewing Your System of Social Support

Consider the supportive functions listed in the attached activity. Write down them names of the
people who provide this type of support to you.

When you have completed the review, assess what type of support is missing in your life and add
that area to a mentoring need.

Reviewing Your System of Social Support*

Consider the supportive functions listed. Write down the names of the people who provide this
type of support to you.

When you have completed the review, assess what type of support is missing in your life and add
that area to a mentoring need.

Supportive Functions People

______________________
Intimacy: People who provide you with closeness, ______________________
warmth, and acceptance; who allow you to express your ______________________
feelings freely and without self-consciousness; who you ______________________
trust; who are readily accessible to you. ______________________

______________________
Sharing: People who share your concerns because they ______________________
are in the same or similar situation; who are striving for ______________________
similar objectives; with whom you share experiences, ______________________

31 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

information, and ideas; with whom you exchange favors. ______________________

______________________
Self-worth: People who respect your competence; who ______________________
understand the difficulty or value of your work or ______________________
performance; who show respect; who recognize your ______________________
skills. ______________________

______________________
Assistance: People who provide tangible services or ______________________
make resources available; who dont just lend a hand but ______________________
whose assistance is not limited to time and extent of ______________________
help; who you can depend on in a crisis. ______________________

______________________
Guidance: People who provide you with advice and ______________________
methods to solve problems; who mobilize you to take ______________________
steps toward solving problems, achieving goals, and ______________________
taking action. ______________________

______________________
Challenge: People who make you think; who make you ______________________
explain; who question your reasoning; who challenge you ______________________
to grow. ______________________
______________________

*Adapted from Herman, S. J. (1978). Becoming assertive: A guide for nurses. New York: D. Van
Nostrand, Publishers.

Activity 4.4: Mentoring Needs

Have any of the activities in Section IV suggested any other needs you
may have for mentoring? Enter those needs on the first pages of your
journal.

As you look at the list of mentoring needs on the first pages of your
journal, brainstorm at least three names of people that could mentor you

32 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

in that area. Each area may have different names attached, but you may
also see a recurring name as you look at the big picture of YOU. As you
brainstorm potential names, think about people in the academic
atmosphereincluding faculty, students and administrators. Think about
your familymaybe a parent, an aunt or uncle, sibling, or family friend.
Consider other circles of people that are available to you in your Church
community, volunteer life, organizations you belong to. In listing the
names, write down people who practice the skill you wish to develop,
people you admire and trust who may or may not have the desired skill,
but may be able to refer you or make an introduction of you to a qualified
person. KON headquarters may also be able to refer you to as persons
who possess the desired skills AND are willing to serve as mentors. As
far as passive mentoring, are there organizations or volunteer
opportunities that you could be affiliated with that would likely offer you
opportunity to develop the desired skills?

Activity 4.5: Self-Empowerment

Have you been faithfully asking yourself the morning and evening
empowerment questions? Remember, they will help you notice how you
are in the world, but they will also help you see your life in a positive light
and reduce your stress level!

Have you been using your support group of three to keep you
accountable to this process? What do you need from them to complete
the next section of this course?

Section V: Creating Your Mentoring Plan

Activity 5.1: Prioritize Your Needs

33 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Look over your accumulated list of mentoring needs in the first pages of
your journal. Identify your top five needs on the list. How do you make this
selection?

Think about your self-criticismwhat areas do you always beat yourself up about? For example,
I wouldnt b e in this crisis if I was a b etter time manager. Why do I always get myself in
situations like this? What are you tired of hearing from yourself?

Listen to the feedback you get from others. For example: If you had used a more diplomatic
approach, you might have gotten more information. Speak up, I cant hear you. I dont
understand what you are trying to say here. Is there a frequent message you receive from others
that should be addressed at this time?

What does your overall visionscape require of you? To get you to the next level of your career, what
do you need to do, learn, experience?

Activity 5.2: Creating Your Mentoring Plan

Print and complete this worksheet to develop your plan. Use one table for each of your five
prioritized needs.

Need

Goal

What is your
vision?

Best Type of
Mentor for this
need

Traditional, Step-Ahead,

34 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Peer, Secondary, Niche

Power Level
Desired

Willingness &
Ab ility
Assessment

Alternative
Resources to
consider

Books, tapes,
self-reflection,
self-managed

Desired Action
Plan

Your Role as Mentee

If you have completed the exercises in this self-contained course, you should now have a plan of
action to pursue. Yet you still have to make the calls and ask for mentoring assistance from the
appropriate parties. Taking this action may be a developmental challenge for you as well! (If so,
put it on your list!) This even has a name--call reluctance. Call reluctance is the fear that takes
hold that prevents you from picking up the phone and asserting yourself to get what you need.
Many factors contribute to call reluctance, but lets approach the issue from the state of ego
perspective.

35 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

Early in life, you may have learned that it is not okay to (Richo, 1991, p. 22):

show your real feelings


give or receive openly
ask for things directly
tell your opinions
take care of your own interests
say No to what you do not want
act as if you deserved abundance.

These beliefs are injunctions against having power in relationships. To the extent that we
internalize these beliefs, we disable ourselves and limit our own capacities to overcome
developmental challenges and get what we need in life. If you have learned these lessons, you
will likely act out of a fear state of ego, rather than a healthy state of ego.

Fear gives your power away and holds you in a passive state. That passivity contributes to these
behaviors (Richo, 1991):

Refusing to express feelings, act, or decide because of what MIGHT happen to you. (The
worst that that really could happen is that the person you ask to mentor you could say no.
Thats an honest response. Clarify why the answer is no and understand that the response is
due to the other person honoring their own b oundariesa skill you may personally need to
develop! Then move on and ask your next b est candidate for mentoring.)
Making excuses for others hurtful behavior and not dealing with them about it.
Over-politeness: always putting others first or letting them take your turn or disturb you
without your speaking up.
Acting from a sense of obligation (a form of fear).
Smoothing over situations so that the real feelings do not emerge (from yourself or others)
Over-commitment: doing too much for too long for too little thanks, and when even more is
asked of you, doing it dutifully.
Not registering your recoil from biased remarks or jokes.
Abandoning yourself by assessing abuse of you from the past or present as justified or
understandable.
Avoiding decisive action by coping with an unsatisfactory situation or relationship or hoping
it might change. WHAT WE ARE NOT CHANGING, WE ARE CHOOSING!

Here is how a healthy ego will operate (Richo, 1991, pp. 26-28):

1. Be clear. Say yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, and maybe when you mean
maybe. (Note that assertiveness means being clear, not necessarily sure.) Show your feelings,
choices, and agenda openly. Check out your fantasies, doubts, fears, and intuitions with those
whom they concern. Tell people it is not acceptable for them to judge, hurt, or blame you.

2. Ask for what you want. Clarify the emotional content of messages from others. Acknowledge
your feelings in the interaction, and assess what you need from the other personNurturance?
Appreciation? Constructive criticism? Or did you intend to simply vent and just need a listener?

36 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

3. Take responsibility. Accept anothers right to make assertions to you. Clarify with the other
about their feelings toward you. Acknowledge your feelings. Finish your emotional unfinished
business directly with the people involved or in your own therapy. Admit your mistakes, oversights,
and offenses, and make amends.

Which of these perspectives sounds more like you? If the healthy ego is not your current mode of
operation, print this section of the course, and carry these three steps with you and begin
practicing the three steps. Even if you dont feel like it! When you practice as if you are an
assertive person, your brain will take the cue and begin to believe the as if reality! In fact, this
concept can be used to turn around any negative belief you hold about yourself. The key to
convincing your brain of a new positive reality is repetition and consistency. Using affirmations
like those that follow, on a repeated basis, COMBINED WITH blocking out negative self-talk, can
literally change your perceived reality:

I can make this call.


I deserve this nurturing relationship.
I am an assertive person.
I open myself to get the support I need.
I ask for what I want from others and let the chips fall where they may.
I allow others to say No to me and take it as information.
I drop the shoulds; I make choices.
I always have a choice.

The Mentee-Mentor Relationship

As you pursue the relationships, there are certain responsibilities you must honor in the
relationship:

Be totally dedicated
Assess your own individual needs
Construct a Goal-Setting Plan
Take the initiative in skill development
Be proactive in your career development
Actively participate in the mentoring relationship
Take full advantage of the training and assistance offered
Accept and follow through on the mentors advice
Employ the rules of confidentiality
Develop and utilize the skill of professionalism in the relationship.

Tips for Holding Up Your Side of the Mentor-Mentee Relationship

To enhance the effectiveness of your relationship, follow these tips:

1. Be on time. Being late for an appointment is inconsiderate and shows lack of organization,

37 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

respect and self-management. If a conflict should occur and you cannot b e present or will b e late,
call as soon as possib le, and reschedule at a mutually agreeab le time.

2. Accept your mentors advice. If you disagree with what you are hearing, ask questions and
share your reluctance to complete the activity. You may simply need clarification of the
assignment, or may b e missing a vital piece of information. Keep the communication honest and
open at all times.

3. Be honest. Share your concerns, fears, and failures, as well as joys and successes. Your
mentor needs to know all sides of you in order to help you grow. So b e authentic in your sharing.

4. Maintain your journal throughout the experience. Share relevant journal entries, particularly
some of the activities completed in this first course. These entries will help your mentor get the b ig
picture of YOU and demonstrate your sincerity and commitment to the mentoring relationship.

5. Inform your mentor of relevant training and employment experience. Your mentor doesnt
want to waste your time and energy b y b eing redundant. Openly share how you are receiving the
input that is b eing offered.

6. Ask clarifying questions, and then listen carefully. If you need additional information, or dont
know how, to start a project, or dont understand why a task would b e useful to you, ask questions.
Your mentor wants to help you b ut cannot read your mind! You are the only one who knows how
much information you need to understand fully. Clarifying expectations shows initiative, interest,
and commitment.

Conclusion
As you take charge of your own mentoring, you will need to do an occasional review and update of
your action plan. In addition minor and major life crises and unusual opportunities will signal the
need to review and update your plan. Self-mentoring also requires evaluation of progress in
managing your own personal and professional development.

Completing the activities in this course will give you tools to take hold of your life and direct toward
what you want it to be. Once you complete your action plan for your top five priorities, then come
back to the list of mentoring needs and walk through the planning process once again, including
assessing your current situation, brainstorming for appropriate mentors, setting goals and action
plans. You may wish to revisit this site to assist you through that re-evaluation and process.

By choosing the mentor relationships that fit your style and developmental stage, you will
enhance the quality and vitality of your mentoring mosaic. As you become more competent in
managing your own mentoring, perhaps you will feel confident in assuming a mentoring role for
others. In this way you can actualize the professional role by overtly displaying the characteristics
that positively represent the standards of your profession and a commitment to advancing the
profession.

38 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.


Self-Managed Mentoring (Web-Based). Copyright 2000, Kappa Omic... https://www.kon.org/Mentoring/mentoring.html

References
Cameron, J. (1996). The vein of gold. New York: Tarcher/Putnam.

Darling, L.W., & Schatz, P.E. (1991, August). Mentoring self-management workshop for
Kappa Omicron Nu Conclave.

Gray, W. A. (1986). Components for developing a successful formalized mentoring


program in business, the professions, education, and other settings. In W. A. and M.
M. Gray (Eds.), Proceedings of the First International Conference on Mentoring, Vol. II
(pp. 15-22). Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Gelb, M. J. (1998). How to think like Leonardo Da Vinci. New York: Delacorte Press.

Herman, S.J. (1978). Becoming assertive: A guide for nurses. New York: D. Van
Nostrand.

Hersey, P. (1984). The situational leader. Escondito, CA: Warner Books.

Mitstifer, D. I., Wenberg, B. G., & Schatz, P. E. (1992). Mentoring: The human touch. East
Lansing, MI: Kappa Omicron Nu.

Phillips-Jones, L. (1982). Mentors and protgs. New York: Arbor House.

Richo, D. (1991). How to b e an adult. Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press.

Robbins, A. (1991). Awaken the giant within. New York:Simon & Schuster.

Roberts, C. (1994).Checklist for personal values. In P. M. Senge, A. Kleiner, C.


Roberts, R. B. Ross, & B. J. Smith, The fifth discipline fieldb ook. NewYork: Doubleday.

Strohmeier, S. O., Bonnstetter, B., & Wentworth Drahosz, K. (1993). Mentoring for
success. Scottsdale, AZ: Target Training, Intl.

Copyright 2000, Kappa Omicron Nu

39 of 39 14/02/2017 04:03 p.m.

Vous aimerez peut-être aussi