Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults?

Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults?

Justin A. Eriavez

WRTC 103

Professor Fielding

11/2/17
Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 2

Abstract

The research question I have chosen is Does divorce turn children into troubled adults.

I picked it because the topic has many layers to it. Theres a lot of aspects that play in to divorce

and there are many consequences because of it. Its not necessarily a black and white issue and

thats what I like about it, there is plenty of gray area to write about. I also ended up choosing

this question because my parents divorced when I was about four or five years old. In a way,

divorce has affected me and I feel as if it is easier to write about it because its something that I

have experienced and its an issue I really care about. In addition to myself, I have a few friends,

whose parents are also divorced. The importance of the topic should be felt by everyone because

we all know someone who has had to deal with divorce, whether as a child or an adult.
Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 3

Introduction

Its highly likely that everyone knows at least one person who has divorced parents. That

fact alone shows how common divorce is these days, but it wasnt always that way. The

troubling matter that divorce causes is the question of what happens to the kids involved. Its not

uncommon for a child of divorce to grow up without a father. The mother typically gets either all

or a majority of the custody of the kids and this could potential scar children. Not having a father

figure around has the potential to be problematic for the mother and the children. Thankfully, not

every child ends up scared because divorce effects each kid in a different way. There are plenty

of aspects as to how divorce can negatively affect a child. The main question to ask is, Does

divorce turn children into troubled adults? From there on, its important to consider how

divorce effects a child and if the childs growth into adulthood is negatively affected. This is an

important topic in todays society due to the frequency of divorce and the effect it may have on

growing children.

Summary

In their document, the Federal Circuit Court of Australia explains the conflicts and

problems associated with divorce. The purpose of the Australias family court is to provide

information for parents about the ways family conflict affects children, both in families who

live together and in families who have separated (Parental conflict and its effect on children,

2012, p. 1). Their main claim is that children are at higher risks of developing numerous

problems when the family has a high level of conflict. Throughout the document, they look to

minimize the problematic situations in high conflict families by explaining what are

problematic parent behaviours (pgs. 1-2). On the last page of the document the family court of

Australia provides readers with more information or assistance on family conflicts and divorce.
Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 4

A woman with a personal experience of having divorced parents provided her take in an

interview. The interviewer, who goes by the name Hanssie asks a woman named Linda questions

about the divorce of her parents and what it has been like for her. Hanssie, being divorced

herself, is curious about what divorce is like for a child. After giving a background of herself, as

well as Linda, Hanssie gets to the questions. Lindas answers illustrate what was easy and what

was difficult with her parents being divorced. Linda, now being an adult, gives readers the

insight of what divorce is like for a child to those who may not have had to experience it.

In the pdf file from Carolinas Heath Care website. Authors of the page, Joseph Stegman,

Maricela Dominguez Gulbronson, Mark Clayton, George Hatley, and Angela Noone, describe

the effects divorce have on children claiming, divorce sets these children up for ongoing loss

(Divorce and Its Effect on Children, p. 1). Their purpose is to explain the risks of divorce on

children (p.1) and to lay out guidelines for parents (p. 2). Throughout the pdf file, the authors

list what can happen to children because of divorce and what parents can do to minimize or

prevent the troubles children are at risk of facing.

Comparison of sources

The first area of comparison is the trouble caused by not having a father around. When

looking at the interview source, Linda states, It was hard not having a father figure around. My

Dad is more than a friend to me than a man who had authority over me. My mom acted as

both roles (How Does Divorce Affect Children? {An Interview With a Child of Divorce},

2015). It seems like her father is in her life but its not the same as him being there. The

similarity between this source and the government document source is evident when the fact

sheet reads Research has found that following separation and divorce, children are twice as

likely to have emotional, social, behavioural and academic problems compared to children from
Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 5

families that are still together (Parental conflict and its effect on children, 2012, p. 1). Both

sources explain the consequences of not having a true father figure in the home. The mother may

take on both parental roles but that doesnt always cure the problems caused by divorce.

In addition to the father figures, another similarity between these sources is the idea that

its important for parents to let their kids know they are then when they need to talk. Being

available for conversation is effective in soothing the pain of divorce for a child. During her

interview, Linda generalizes children of divorce, saying its important to watch, listen, give us

space, but show your child that you acknowledge their struggles. Ask your child questions,

theyll answer when theyre ready (How Does Divorce Affect Children? {An Interview With a

Child of Divorce}, 2015). Linda, being a child of divorce, feels communication between the

parent and the child is imperative after a divorce takes place. The government documentation

agrees, writing, Children should feel able to talk openly about their lives in both households, but

not feel obliged to do so. They should also feel safe when expressing their feelings regardless of

which parent they are with (Parental conflict and its effect on children, 2012, p. 1). Both these

sources describe the value of having a parent available to talk at any time about anything that

may be troubling their child.

Contrast of Sources

One disagreement between the three sources is the idea that children of divorce are

affected by the problems that occurred in the family before the divorce take place. The

government document source feels that statement is true, writing, The increased risk of poor

adjustment in children may partly be due to high conflict and other problems in the family before

the separation. This may affect the child/rens ability to cope with the separation (Parental

conflict and its effect on children, 2012, p. 1). That sentiment the government source has
Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 6

doesnt exist in Lindas view. In her interview she says that her father wasnt there even before

the divorce, which may seem like an area of conflict. However, Linda says, Although I was too

young to notice, I dont think I would have felt anything (How Does Divorce Affect Children?

{An Interview With a Child of Divorce}, 2015). She elaborates saying that the problem of her

father not being there made divorce seem like part of the plan. She looks at it as a reasoning

more than additional conflict prior to the divorce. It may be safe to say that conflict before the

divorce doesnt necessarily affect every child.

Lastly, another area of contrast between the sources is the thought of children consciously

pitting their parents against each other. Carolinas Health Care asserts, Other children will play

one parent off against the other to gain power over the situation that appears out of control to

them (Divorce and Its Effect on Children, p. 1). Linda would disagree with this statement, as

in her interview, she said it bothered her to even hear her mother talk bad about her father. She

hated listening to the conflict between them through her mothers words. Linda would never

want to pit her parents against each other.

Conclusion

In conclusion, its clear enough that divorce is a relevant problem for children. Being

brought into this world and in the first few years, seeing the people that brought here argue, fight

and separate is bound to cause problems for anyone. I learned that a childs age plays a factor in

how the divorce effects that child. A child at the age of twelve may handle their parents divorce

differently than a six or seven-year-old. My personal viewpoint on divorce didnt change too

much after the research, although, a few specifics about the varying effects divorce has on kids

caught my attention. The government and health care sources mostly strengthened my

confidence on my personal viewpoint. Both are credible sources of information and the fact that I
Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 7

agreed with most of what they were saying made me feel like my viewpoint was validated. The

interview source was interesting because was able to hear from someone else whose parents

became divorced around the same age as when mine got divorced. It broadened my view on the

aspects as to how divorce effects a child. My take on divorce is that if its clear the marriage isnt

working out then divorcing may be the best for the child, however, that doesnt mean I agree

breaking up the family if things can be worked out. I say stay together first, and if the effort to

make it work wasnt enough, then divorce. Its not good for a child to grow up in a household

with animosity and constant fighting.

Does Divorce Turn Children into Troubled Adults? 8

References

Hanssie. (2015, October 19). How Does Divorce Affect Children? {An Interview With a Child

of Divorce}. http://www.hanssie.com/how-does-divorce-affect-children-an-interview-

with-a-child-of-divorce/

Australia, F. C. (2013, November 01). Family Court of Australia. Retrieved November 02, 2017,

http://www.familycourt.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/fcoaweb/reports-and-

publications/publications/parenting/parental-conflict-and-its-effect-on-children

Stegman, J. C., Gulbronson, M. D., Clayton, M. C., Hatley, G. W., & Noone, A. (n.d.). Divorce

and Its Effect on Children. Retrieved October 26, 2017,

https://www.carolinashealthcare.org/Documents/Developmental-Behavioral-

Pediatrics/tips/Divorce.pdf