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HD341 Communication for Empowerment:

Self-Esteem Project

Liliana Celio

October 22, 2016

Pacific Oaks College

Theresa Rochambeau, Instructor

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Introduction

For many people, the concept of self-esteem can play a major role in their everyday lives.

Much of this stems from the manner in which social media and television influence the way we

should think, feel, and most importantly, the way we should look. We automatically judge each

other because we assume that we know what is best for everyone else. Our society has become

so consumed on appearances that we fail to communicate with each other in order to learn about

someones character. This in turn affects the way that we interact and how we relate to others. By

allowing negative or positive influences affect our self-concept, we ultimately contribute to the

uplifting or bashing that others bring to our lives.

The purpose of the paper is to present a study conducted on the topic of self-esteem. The

project was based on asking five participants three questions: How do they define self-esteem?

What do they think lowers self-esteem? What do they think raises self-esteem? To further

explore the topic, sources were reviewed to find out how the three questions are addressed in the

literature.

The definition of self-esteem varies amongst people and cultures. I personally believe

that self-esteem stems from the opinion we have of ourselves. I say this because the concept

focuses on how we feel and think about who we are as individuals in comparison to the society

in which we live. This may include personal thoughts about how intelligent we feel or how we

define our own outer beauty. Unfortunately, the opinions of others may impact our personal

mantra. To supplement my findings, I also research the role that communication plays in

affecting self-esteem. I found that although our self-esteem first starts within ourselves, it is also

affected by outside sources that reinforce what we think.

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I believe that we live in a society in which the notion of self-esteem has become the core

of many problems that we face today. In fact, when I think about what lowers self-esteem, I think

of the manner in which social media plays a major role; one in which people strive to compete

with one another and consequently bash others. Now more than ever, the concept of self-esteem

has become more prominent because we constantly compare ourselves to others by wising we

were more, or had more than our peers. We listen to the negative comments and jokes that

others make about us, and the more we hear those negative comments, the more we internalize

them. In turn, that negativity becomes more real to us and therefore causes us to feel worse about

who we are as individuals; more than we did before we heard those negative thoughts. In a way, I

feel that others comments tend to prove the way we feel bout ourselves because if someone

else says it, then it must be true.

In order to remedy this problem, I believe that the movement to empower every man,

woman, and child, is on the right path. This is important now that our culture has shed light on

the concept of bullying. More importantly, we realize that lowering other peoples self-esteem is

wrong and instead we are striving to improve the way that we view not only ourselves, but others

as well. In fact, I notice that as a society, we are gradually transitioning our mindset to focus on

uplifting each other by encouraging everyone to be the best they can be in every aspect of their

lives. This includes improving the way that we treat others so that we will feel better internally. I

also believe that highlighting the unique talents and qualities that each of us possesses can make

a positive impact on our self-esteem because they contribute to who we are. In addition, I think

that it is important that we focus on accepting our personal flaws by embracing what we cannot

change. If everyone followed this type of mentality, I believe that we would live in a world with

less tension.
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Considering that self-esteem and communication interconnect in several ways, learning

how these affect people from various backgrounds would allow us to better understand

ourselves. By studying a private aspect of peoples persona, we would also learn about what they

consider to be positive and negative messages. As a result, this would also help us learn about

how these messages affect their character and how they ultimately affect their relationships with

others. By taking such steps to understand the underlying causes of peoples self-concept, we

would then have the opportunity to improve ourselves, as well as, the manner in which we relate

to others.

The concept of self-esteem is an interesting phenomenon because it defines whether one

has a negative self-concept or a positive self-concept. Throughout our childhood, our elders often

told us to not listen to people when they tell us something that may hurt our feelings, yet this is

inevitable. While some people may internalize negative messages, others successfully prevent

them from contributing to their character. In the following literary review, I provide a discussion

based on findings from various sources that I researched in the literature. In my review, I exhibit

various ways that negative and positive messages can affect relationships as I support the three

questions that I asked the participants. I will also illustrate how one may overcome such

obstacles to become a better version of oneself.

Literature Review

In order to fully explain the different factors that affect our self-esteem, I have chosen to

look into three literary sources. These sources include two course readings and one text that I

researched on my own. The Self-Esteem PowerPoint that we previewed in class defines the idea

of self-esteem, while the book, Messages: The Communication Skills Book, discusses the factors
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that may contribute to lowering ones self-esteem. I also came across a book that discusses the

manner in which communication and self-concept are interconnected in our daily lives.

By examining a source such as, the Self-Esteem PowerPoint that Instructor Rochambeau

provided, one may note that self-esteem can be defined as a measure of how much we like and

approve of our self-concept (Slide 2, Fall1, 2016). In other words, it is a concept that we define

within ourselves; one that we construct based on what we hear and see. Depending on the

persons environment, one may have a positive or negative self-image. This may happen because

our self-concept stems much from ideas that we learn throughout our lives. As a result, we

compare who we are to an ideal image that we created based on what we think should be our

self-concept (Slide 6, Fall1, 2016).

From the moment that we are born, we learn several of the qualities that shape us into the

people that we become as adults. Many behaviors that we learn originate from our environment.

Considering that we have no control over who contributes to our bearing, we may be subjected to

negativity that can traumatize our developing self-image. For instance, in the book, Messages:

The Communication Skills Book, the authors mention that some of these experiences can occur

throughout our childhood in which we learned to feel bad each time [we] were criticized

(McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 2009). With each negative experience that we have from birth, we

then learn to internalize our feelings of self-doubt. Ultimately, these feelings may sometimes

snowball into our adulthood, if we do not learn how to change the pattern of negativity.

As I interviewed different people, I noticed that their self-concept varied from person to

person. In the book, Interpersonal Communication: Competence and Contexts, the author Shelly

D. Lane (2008) discusses how self-concept and communication interconnect. She explains that

because our self-concept may range from healthy to poor, it ultimately affects the way we
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communicate with others. She states that healthy self-concepts can result in a realistic

acknowledgement of our strengths and weaknesses, and therefore we may accept praise and

defend viewpoints even when opposed by others (Lane, 2008, p. 70). In other words, depending

on how we feel internally, the way we view ourselves will determine the way we respond to

positive or negative messages. In order to help transition our mindset away from this negative

self-concept, one must change the way we view ourselves by setting positive goals that will help

us feel better. This process may take time, but with effort, ones self-concept can improve so that

our relationships and communication can also improve.

In conclusion, the three literary sources help us learn that outside forces, our

environment, and our upbringing may shape us into who we become as adults. The behavior that

we learn starting from our childhood affects the relationships that we have with ourselves and

others. This happens because we learn to believe what others tell us about ourselves or how to

react to certain situations. As a result, we recreate what we learned throughout our lives and

therefore constantly compare ourselves to the way others around us behave. The following

section of Methodology further explains my interview process with five different participants.

Each person has different backgrounds and experiences than the others, which then help bring

about various perspectives on the concept of self-esteem.

Methodology

In this section, I discuss my research based on the five participants that I interviewed.

Although the group consisted of women, I appreciated learning about other womens view on

self-esteem. Some women, I have known for the past ten years, while others I have known for

only two years. I begin by giving a brief description of each participant, which includes age,
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ethnicity, and career choice. I then provided my reason for choosing the participant, as well as a

location and length of the interview. Although the different participants volunteered, each person

contributed their unique views on the concept, which are ultimately affected by their own

experiences throughout the lives.

Participant A

Participant A is my former supervisor. I worked with her for almost two years. She is a

Caucasian, forty-year-old woman. She currently lives in Las Vegas with her boyfriend and two

cats. I chose to interview her because I admire her love for adventure and life. I also love her

no-nonsense personality. She is also a breast cancer survivor, so I knew that she would have a

strong sense about the process that a woman struggles through when she is told that her

appearance may change. I sent out a mass email to prevent anyone from feeling forced to

answer my questions. She gladly volunteered. She replied through email a couple days after I

sent her questions.

Participant B

Participant B is a Los Angeles based female lawyer. I met her online through a mutual

friend. She is a thirty-two-year-old Mexican-American woman who is currently single but dates

occasionally. I chose to interview her because I recognize that she works in a male-dominated

profession. For this reason, I wondered if she struggled with her self-esteem, considering that her

position requires her to work twice as hard. I know that she is confident in her work, but I found

myself curious about her views regarding the concept of self-esteem. This participant also replied

to my mass email. I then sent her the questions and she responded the next day. Considering the
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method that I used to acquire her answers, our interview had no time limit. In fact, she replied to

my questions through email.

Participant C

Participant C is a long-time friend that I met almost ten years ago while I attended

college. She is a Mexican-American, thirty-five-year-old mother to a beautiful three-year-old

little girl. This participant is a former accountant who became an entrepreneur and who recently

became a wife. I chose to interview her because she wears many hats that I do not personally

wear. Her busy schedule fascinates me because she makes everything work so seamlessly. I also

wanted to know how her different roles affect her perspective on self-esteem. My interview with

her consisted of her replying to my mass email. I then sent her the questions which she then

responded a couple of days after receiving them. Our communication consisted of emailing back

and forth. Given her busy schedule, I understand that she took a couple of days to think about

how she would like to respond.

Participant D

Participant D is a long-time friend who I met while I attended high school. She is a thirty-

two-year-old, African-American woman who is single and has no children. I chose her because I

recognize that she is African-American, a successful nurse, and does not have children. Given

that she defies the typical stereotype for her race, I wanted to know her opinion based on self-

esteem. This participant replied to my mass email. I then sent her the questions that she

responded the next day. Considering the method that I used to interview her, our communication

occurred within two days.

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Participant E

Participant E is a long-time friend who I met about ten years ago while I attended college.

She is a 34-year-old, Mexican-American woman. She is a former family social worker who

became a successful entrepreneur. She is a wonderful mother to two amazing little boys and she

also recently became a wife. I chose to interview her because I am aware of her background. She

is the oldest daughter of four children and has always had an incredible work ethic. Given that

she has endured much in her life, I wanted to learn how her background has affected her

perspective on self-esteem. This participant responded to my mass email. I then sent her the

questions that she responded a couple of days after she received them. Considering that we

communicated through email, our interview consisted of three days. I know that she is an

extremely busy woman and therefore, I understood that she needed a bit more time to respond.

For this project, I interviewed five different women from various backgrounds, age, and

careers. Although some participants answered with short responses, other participants

contributed enough information to allow me to gain a better understanding of the topic. The

group consisted of ethnic backgrounds such as African-American, Caucasian, and Mexican-

American. Although the women varied in age, race, and career, they all answered similarly. The

groups also ranged from early thirties to early forties in age. In the following section, I exhibit

the results I acquired in the interview by asking the three important questions regarding self-

esteem. I illustrate the manner in which each womans answer varies depending on her

background and experience. Each participant also illustrates that nobody is immune to negative

and positive comments from outside sources as we all struggle with some of the same issues.
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Results

The following section displays the results of the five interviews that I conducted on the

topic of self-esteem. I began by focusing each interview on three specific questions such as: How

do you define self-esteem? What do you think lowers self-esteem? and What do you think raises

self-esteem? Since the interviews consisted of communication through email, I quote each

participants response. Although the answers vary in length, each participant contributed their

perspective on the topic.

Participant A

I began the interview by asking Participant A how she defines self-esteem. She said, I

would define self-esteem as my level of confidence. And how I feel in terms of my overall well-

being. I think that self-esteem could be almost considered a frame of mind because it affects

pretty much everything that you do, and how you approach it. Next, I asked her what she thinks

lowers self-esteem. To this she replied, I would define self-esteem as my level of confidence.

And how I feel in terms of my overall well-being. I think that self-esteem could be almost

considered a frame of mind because it affects pretty much everything that you do, and how you

approach it. Lastly, I asked her what she thinks raises self-esteem. She answered by saying, I

think it is just the opposite in terms of raising self-esteem. Positive family, friends, romantic or

work relationships. A strong loving support group within those relationships. Feeling good about

ones appearance, giving the effort to make positive changes for health and or appearance such as

working out, eating healthfully, enjoying hobbies. And lastly, learning how to manage stress and

having a work life balance.

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Participant B

After asking Participant A how she defines self-esteem, she said, Self-esteem to me is

the way you think of yourself and at what level you are in love with yourself. It is the product of

your opinion and how strong you are to disregard others. The amount of self-esteem you have is

based on what you think of who you are, how you act, and what you look like. I then asked her

what she thinks lowers ones self-esteem. She replied, Honestly, anything can hinder your self-

esteem. A big factor, although sad to accept, is media. The way men and women are portrayed in

magazines, television, movies, and the news is actually a really big deal. It is everywhere and

unavoidable. The image they portray isnt necessarily the most accurate, attainable, or accepting.

And even though we as an audience know that what the media portrays is a misinterpretation we

eat it all up and believe that is something we need to aspire to be-whether it be think, hairless,

rich, light colored, etc. It can also be hindered when things dont necessarily go your way. Too

many let downs can get to you and actually start taking over your feelings towards yourself. It is

really difficult to keep your spirits up when things around you are going negatively. Lastly, I

asked her what she thinks raises self-esteem. She answered by saying, Im definitely not an

expert on this high self-esteem topic. But I know that I should disregard others opinion over me

and not let what other people think of me get to me. I also know that I should try to keep people

who are positive around me and try to keep an upbeat ambiance. Just now Im starting to realize

that it is up to you to work for your own happiness and not depend on others to do it for you. We

should do whatever we need to be happy and not let others dictate what we should be doing.

Participant C

In response to me asking Participant C how she defines the notion of self-esteem, she said
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that, Self-esteem is how you value and see your self-worth. Self-esteem is very much tied to

happiness in my opinion. I then asked her what she thinks lowers ones self-esteem. She replied,

Although self-esteem is about how YOU view YOURSELF, I think it can very much be tied

into what others say and think about you, unfortunately. Finally, I asked her what she thinks

raises self-esteem. She answered by saying, I think personal development is a way to increase

self-esteem. Realizing that you are enough and that others opinions are just that, their opinions

and not a true reflection of who you are.

Participant D

I began the interview by asking Participant D how she defines self-esteem. She said, I

think self-esteem is what a person thinks about him or herself. Next, I asked her what she thinks

lowers ones self-esteem. To this she replied, Negative words or treatment from others, past

failures, lack of encouragement, self-neglect in the form of putting others needs before your own

and traumatic experiences can lower ones self-esteem. Lastly, I asked her what she thinks

raises self-esteem. She responded by saying, Self-awareness as far as knowing yourself and

your personal strengths, surrounding yourself with positivity, knowing your passion and

fulfilling it, learning when to say no, taking care of yourself with healthy foods, exercise, and

grooming and having a spirit of gratitude for what you have can help raise self-esteem.

Participant E

In response to the question, How do you define self-esteem?, Participant E answered

by saying that, The energy (positive and negative) that I feel towards myself, It is in my daily

language, how I feel about my confidence level and how much I believe in myself at that given
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time. I then asked her what she thinks lowers self-esteem. Her response was, When I do not

reach my expectations or when I place a comparison on myself with others. Its when I allow

those negative thoughts to greatly impact my emotions and internal drive. I concluded my

interview by asking her what she thinks raises ones self-esteem. She responded by saying,

When I put positive thinking into my brain. For instance, when I listen to soul filling audio, go

to church, listen to a positive sermon or even surrounding myself with people who believe in me

raises my self-esteem and self-belief.

The participants in this project described the topic of self-esteem as ones own self-worth.

They explained that outside forces such as the media, criticism from others, and past failures

contribute to the lowering of ones self-esteem. One person mentioned that the attitude that

negative self-talk causes, depending on the given day, may contribute to a lower self-esteem.

However, many participants believe that positive thinking, self-care, and encouragement from

outside sources may increase self-esteem. They also mentioned that surrounding yourself with

goal oriented, positive people also contribute to a higher self-esteem

Analysis

To conclude this study, I tie together my findings through the statements of different

people, as we all various literary sources. I learned that many of us have varying opinions about

the concept of self-esteem, while also having similar ideas of how self-esteem is affected. My

participants also mentioned that outside factors or self-sabotage influence our self-esteem. My

literary findings emphasized that communication from childhood greatly affects us as adults.

Though many factors were presented in this study, one may conclude that they are

interconnected into shaping who we become as adults.

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In the introduction portion of this research paper, I answered my own interview questions

based on the concept of self-esteem. I discussed that I believe that nowadays, our self-esteem

stems much from what the media tells us to do and feel as a society. Those beliefs then turn into

standards that then trickle down to everything else that we believe. After looking into various

sources of literature such as the books, Messages: A Communication Skills Book, and

Interpersonal Communication: Competence and Contexts, I discovered that communication

affects our self-esteem as well. It may affect us during our childhood, or in the manner that

others speak to us. Although the answers that the participants stated were not exactly the same as

my literary sources, they indeed have similarities. My sources and participants mentioned that

outside forces and our own internal attitude about ourselves affects how we feel about ourselves.

As a result, I learned that the sources that I consulted, as well as my participants, emphasized

what I know. I especially learned that when we feel a certain way about ourselves, outside forces

may confirm it with the words that they say to us.

Considering the knowledge that I learned through my project regarding self-esteem, I

would like to learn how to stop the cycle of self-sabotage. This is especially important because

we live in an era in which bullying is at an all-time high. Our children have become victims

while at school and outside of school. This learned behavior then affects their performance at

school and the way in which they interact with not only other children, but other adults as well.

As a result, many children struggle from the trauma for years. I know that the first step is

acknowledging that the problems exists. However, I believe that talking about self-esteem and

bullying is a topic that needs to be discussed at a deeper level that starts at home to truly bring

about change.
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I believe that this study has great significance because it encourages people to talk about

a concept that may make people uncomfortable. I say this because society considers the concept

of self-esteem to be taboo. Unfortunately, many of us constantly try to avoid displaying any

vulnerability in most occasions. Acknowledging the problem brings it up to the forefront,

however, the media constantly influences our actions and beliefs. Taking the step to study the

subject more in depth by contacting different people, as well as researching various sources helps

us learn more about the subject. Different studies and beliefs certainly help us understand how

self-esteem is affected.
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References

HD 341 Course Files. (Fall1, 2016). Retrieved from

https://tcsedsystem.instructure.com/courses/31689/pages/module-1-readings-and-assignments?

module_item_id=1123976

Lane, S. D. (2008). Interpersonal Communication: Competence and Contexts. Retrieved from

https://www.pearsonhighered.com/samplechapter/0205453597.pdf

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The Communication Skills Book.

Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.