OUR DIVIDED SELF

In the first chapter of Jonathan Haidts The Happiness Hypothesis, the self is divided into four divisions:
mind vs. body, left vs. right, new vs. old, and controlled vs. automatic. The first division includes the ideas of Michel
de Montaigne, a French philosopher. He states that each part of the body is set with its own emotions and agenda.
Not hard to believe, the bowels are described to act as a second brain; I find this to correspond with the
independence of the male genitalia, but its independence could cause turmoil if used as an excuse to an
inappropriate behavior. Though I have always been around the idea of a gut feeling, I have failed to consciously
realize that it is as autonomic as a heartbeat. I have simply considered my gut brain to be from my personal mental
or emotional state in a particular situation, not a process that my body will go through on its own. The second
division strikes my interest the most due to splitting the brain at its connector the corpus callosum. Although Joe
Bogen performed the surgery, Michael Gazzaniga produced fascinating results. He found that people will
confabulate or create false reasons for their behavior, but they may not realize that behavior. There are no true
reasons behind ones actions that the interpreter module, the left hemisphere, can retrieve (Haidt, 2006). Would
this certain finding lead one to think that his or her brain is at fault for any lies created? I suppose people would be
hopeful of that, especially if they were to indulge in a murder, for instance, and would like to receive the insanity
plea. In the New York Timess Did Your Brain Make You Do It? article, Monterosso and Schwartz say, If we view
every new scientific finding about brain involvement in human behavior as a sign that the behavior was not under
the individuals control, the very notion of responsibility will be threatened (Monterosso, 2012). I believe that
people will abuse the new findings, including one noting that the brain of a teenager is not yet mature, and attempt
to excuse an abundance of behaviors and actions. I find each situation to be unique in terms of who or what is
responsible for the action committed, but I like to acknowledge that there is a degree of psychological causes and a
degree of biological causes in each one.
The third and fourth divisions do not capture my attention as much as the other two, but the controlled
and automatic processes can be related to the selective attention test (Simons, 2010). The one simple task of
counting the number of passes takes control and will lead someone, like my best friend, to miss the gorilla. I would
like to think that if I, or my best friend, was not given any instruction, I would have been able to multitask (possibly
watching the passes as well as the entrance of the gorilla) through my automatic processes. When I first watched
this video in junior year of high school, I admit that I missed the gorilla after a short while of being in denial of my
failure. It dumbfounded me, and I could not believe that my attention was so focused. Recently, I showed this to my
best friend and she did the same as me. My brother was able to spot the animal coming on the screen, though;
perhaps he was not focused enough.
Along with the idea of the second brain, the metaphor of the rider on the elephant works well for me. The
rider is identified as the conscious and the elephant as ones emotions (Haidt, 2006). I could steer the elephant in
any direction, but, if the elephant desired differently, he would be entitled to his choice and take over my demands.
My emotions cannot talk back, but only look at me and hope for me to make them and myself happy, just as my cats
like me to play with them instead of being stressed out while completing school-work. Personally, I am an animal
lover and will let my emotion take the most control. Haidt eventually lets me know that the rider evolves to serve
the elephant, which I find to be true with any exceptional owner to his or her pet (Haidt, 2006). My mind would like
to satisfy my emotions as much as my emotions would like to follow my minds directions, but, if my mind or my
emotions disliked the others idea, the other would hesitate little to none about rejecting a decision or feeling. I
would say that this generation could relate more to a driver and a car; however, unless you are into animism, an
animal is better to connect with emotionally.

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Monterosso, J., & Schwartz, B. (2012, July 28). Did Your Brain Make You Do It? Retrieved July 1, 2015 from
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/29/opinion/sunday/neuroscience-and-moral-responsibility.html?_r=1
Simons, D. (2012, March 10). Selective attention test. Retrieved July 1, 2015, from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo
 REPLY

Carrie,

I am glad to hear that I am not the only one enjoying a textbook! I usually dislike having to read for school, but the
information within the content is quite attention-grabbing. Perhaps it interests me more because I love psychology,
and it applies well to my personal life.

I appreciate your alternative to the elephant - the dog. I thought the rider and the elephant correlated well with
owners and their pets. I suppose that the use of the elephant is a reminder of the difficult self. I believe that we may
overlook the fact that elephants can be trained because that particular animal is not trained by the average person;
instead, the circus members, for example, take that job. Personally, I do not think that elephants should be trained
to do the activities and stunts in a circus because it is not natural. Thus, the elephants may express negative
emotions and could either refuse an order or remain in a depressive state. Although others may disagree with my
beliefs, they cannot deny that they correlate well with Haidt's metaphor. Maybe the negative emotions will take
over the mind and remain in a bad position, or maybe the logical mind will strive for a certain job or task and ignore
the impact on the emotions.

I agree with your views on our existence. As a whole we are here to serve an uncertain purpose, and we are here as
individuals to serve a separate purpose. Each purpose is unique but certainly not easy to discover. I am hopeful that
Haidt will steer us in the right and easy direction towards happiness.

CHANGING YOUR MIND

If one desired changing his or her mind, one could utilize one or more of the three methods that Haidt
recommends:

1. Meditation is an attempt to focus attention in a nonanalytical way (Haidt, 2006). One could
successfully alter his or her thoughts by taming his or her emotions, the elephant, after encountering
humility and patience through the practice. The timeless result will come with increased levels of
happiness within ones affective style and skills of relaxation (Haidt, 2006). Not to simply side with the
author and the Buddha, this method seems to be the most beneficial for me because it only requires
myself (in contrast to a therapist or prescription) and loss does not accompany meditation (in contrast
to dangerous or unwanted side effects if one failed to take the required dose of medication). I take
daily yoga classes, a form of meditation, and the practice encourages me to empty my mind, be within
the present moment, and to focus on relaxation within my body. I like to engage in workouts that will
benefit my body as a dancer, so my thoughts will drift off from a pose to dance. Hasenkamp mentions
that you are likely to steer away from your breath in meditation, but, with practice, will be aware of
the natural trajectory of the mind (Hasenkamp, 2013). Certainly true, I can redeem myself by
reverting back to my breath concentration, and my mind will empty, especially when entering corpse
pose and savasana. The environment is in a studio heated to 106 degrees. The room is simple and easy
to focus in rather than my bedroom where I can locate an abundance of distractions. Hence, I could
not concentrate fully on the Relic Tours meditation while sitting on my bed with a brightly shining
laptop screen. The voice is quite calming, though, and says to fill all with energy of love and kindness
(Maitreya Peace Meditation, 2012).
2. Cognitive therapy is primarily a treatment for depression and anxiety in which the patient needs to
catch and challenge any negative, irrational, and self-critical thoughts, as used in Aaron Becks work
(Haidt, 2006). Personally, I dont have any forms of severe depression or anxiety. I have anger and
stress issues and type A personality, and I recently discovered that I have more activity within the right
side of my brain, making me more withdrawal-oriented. However, these traits dont need the help of
 cognitive therapy. Instead, I had anger management and a psychiatrist throughout high school.
Although I enjoyed venting to a helpful stranger and realizing various pieces of information about
myself, I had difficulty affording sessions, receiving support, and maintaining appointments due to
school and dance performances, frustrating me beyond belief. Cognitive therapy, or my anger
management sessions, would have been my first priority if my issues were higher in severity.
3. SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, include medications such as Prozac that repair
negative mindsets. On a controversial note, Prozac is said to be a shortcut, to change personality, and
to be overprescribed (Haidt, 2006). I agree that these medications are a quicker and easier way out of
an unwanted mindset because you do not need to invest any effort, only money. I wouldnt take these
serious medications because Ive known friends and family members that have taken strong ones; and,
I didnt like how it led my mom into a difficult withdrawal and one of my friends into a fatal overdose. I
dont have any desire to rely on medicine, and I would like to discover self-improvement by my own
resource my own mind and body.

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Hasenkamp, W. (2013, July 17). How to Focus a Wandering Mind. Retrieved July 5, 2015, from
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_focus_a_wandering_mind
Maitreya Peace Meditation. (2012, July 3). Retrieved July 5, 2015.

REPLY

Luis,

I envy your confidence in social skills; Im an introvert to the maximum extent. However, I dont have any severe
anxiety or depression. I find it interesting how your perspective changed on meditation from thinking its a joke to
being beneficial. Meditation is certainly a pure form, and, from my hot yoga practice, it definitely allows my mind to
relax. Regardless of the duration, I feel more motivated and less stressed out; so, if I had plenty of items on my
mind, then I find it easier to accomplish/let go of those items after my practice.

Kati Mortons thought checking is a nice idea, and Id love to use this method; but, I dont have issues that severe,
nor do I have enough time/money to invest. I appreciate your amount of respect for each method because everyone
is different in how theyd like to change their mind. I have friends that use Adderall, which works great for them. I
admit Ive used it before, but I didnt enjoy the results nearly as much. Certainly, the medication may be a last resort
or the only option for some.

RECIPROCITY WITH A VENGEANCE

Reciprocity, a word seldom used in my personal vocabulary, is to do to others what they do unto you, or
to treat others the way you want to be treated (Haidt, 2006). The word reminded me of the mathematical term,
reciprocal, meaning that the product is one by using the inverse function or expression. Perhaps, in relation, one
could say that humans produce unity by being complementary to the other. I suppose I never drew connections
between reciprocity and relationships, revenge, and waiters; it is, indeed, an underlying rule in my life that, as
Robert Cialdinis cites, is a mindless, automatic reciprocity reflex (Haidt, 2006). Ive thought of the golden rule as
only positive while growing up because the statement insinuates that my actions and words will cause the other to
react in the same manner; so, Ive learned to be respectful to all, in hopes of receiving happiness back.
Unfortunately, not everyone reciprocates. However, Ive been unaware of myself reciprocating to others on a daily
basis. It can be as easy as becoming odious if someone is odious towards me. The term, reciprocity, has cleared the
frustration I have while trying to pinpoint why I feel obligated to act amiable to those who are in need or are
pleasant upon surprise, why I felt previous relationships becoming distant, or why I feel uncertain on whose side to
take the victim or criminal when the act was vengeful. In the ultimatum game, reciprocity is shown as the money
was split both fairly and unfairly. I would hope that the decision of rejection would make the other feel
inconsiderate. On a similar note, if one were to insult another, the other could yell in disgust, returning the
disrespect. In the Science of men video, rejecting the offer could have been a way to protect ones social status
(Science of men, 2007). This reasoning has unknowingly happened to me when asked my rate for pet-sitting. I allow
the customers to decide the price because we are all in different financial situations.
Humans engage in ultra-sociality and acquire benefits from the other divisions of a society. The example
that comes to mind is the homeless versus those with more wealth; the man/woman in need of food or clothing
hopes to receive items from those who can afford it. I feel that in present day people expect karma for helping ones
in need and will (positively) reciprocate more if gifts are offered or if an action is done by a close relative/friend. In a
negative light people often reciprocate through revenge and gossip, especially through social media. Women and
men pass information with negative or personal subject matter to feel empowered, popular and close to their
friends (Capozza, n.d.). I find it odd how people use gossip to define behavioral standards and how women are less
remorseful about spreading information. This makes me wonder how girly my fianc talks in the presence of his
friends alone.
The information about reciprocity certainly leads me to carefully review my thoughts and actions because
they may reveal why someone becomes hostile or friendly towards me or why I may behave in a specific way in
various environments; and, giving back (positively) fills people with happiness more than I would expect.

Capozza, K. (n.d.). Guys Are Gossips Too, Study Finds. Retrieved July 8, 2015 from
http://preventdisease.com/news/articles/guys_gossips_too.shtml
Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Science of men [Video file]. (2007). In Films On Demand. Retrieved July 8, 2015 from
http://digital.films.com.librarylink.uncc.edu/PortalPlaylists.aspx?aid=29420&xtid=40819

REPLY

Joshua,

I certainly understand the pressures placed upon the idea of reciprocity. Somewhere in my mind I ponder on how
another will view me if I do not return an equal favor. For instance, if a friend or stranger compliments me, I
automatically say, Thank you! I love your [certain item/aspect of him or her], to avoid being viewed as self-
conceited and to brighten up his or her smile. I feel less capable of displaying annoyance on my face or within my
words when in a situation with pleasant strangers rather than with my relatives. My parents seem to have a mental
record of their delightful actions towards me and expect reciprocity.

I agree with your view on how reciprocity can be mandated, especially through tips. Perhaps these demands on
kindness lead others to expect good karma and to be less appreciative or compassionate. It is unfortunate, and
positive reciprocity can potentially annoy others.

THE FAULTS OF OTHERS

Dan Batson describes moral hypocrisy as the tendency to value the appearance of morality over the
reality (Haidt, 2006). His first study concluded that moral people flipped the coin with the intention of reaching a
fair decision; however, they would shift to their self-interest if the outcome was undesired. While emphasizing
fairness and placing a large mirror with the participants in his second study, the moral people no longer cheated as
they caught sight of their own reflection (Haidt, 2006). I loathe that I relate to the study. I will lean towards what I
really desire by unknowingly tricking myself into the right decision. For example, if I am shopping with my fianc, I
will pick out a pile of clothes and narrow my choices down when I am done. When I am torn between which of the
last two articles of clothing I want, I will ask him which one he likes better; but, I will generally already know which
one I like the most and sometimes ignore his decision. Why would I bother asking then? Perhaps I ask to be
respectful although I dont seem to intend on listening.
Nave realism is the belief that we see the world directly, as it really is, and people will agree with us
because the facts are common sense and are clearly seen; but, people will disagree if they dont see the facts and
will be defined as ignorant or irrational (Haidt, 2006). I find this phenomenon quite relevant in todays society
because there are constant disputes on religion and peoples rights. Gay marriage, for example, is still arguable
regardless of the fact that its legal. I view the topic as love like any other while others may view it as a sin. The
select Christians that I know arent willing to accept the marriage equality and dont like that I am a supporter; the
thoughts are vice-versa on a religious standpoint because I am not affiliated with any religion. In The Washington
Posts article, Mooney claims that white people in every U.S. state are biased against blacks, and North Carolina
has a medium-high level of implicit biased based on the IAT (Mooney, 2014). The facts are clear and simply stated,
and I agree as I still hear horrible acts of racism. I disagree that I am racially biased because I have nothing against
any race, but this is fortunately not the same thing as conscious racism (Mooney, 2014).
The myth of pure evil is fascinating to me because it states that evildoers are evil, victims are victims, and
one is collaborating with evil if he or she questions the myth (Haidt, 2006). I suppose that makes me in league with
evil since I dont believe in this idea. Victims arent always innocent because they may have caused a stir with their
opponent; thus, they only made their opponent stronger. I dont mean that they need to be harmed, but their
actions are also important to note. I dont think that the infamous Ted Bundy, Dennis Rader, and Hitler were evil
because the term sounds comical and fictitious to me and associated with religion. I believe that they indulged in
wrong and harsh actions. Russell says that we may assume that Hitler had an evil characteristic and couldnt be fixed
(Russell, 2014). I could argue that he wasnt always evil because he didnt harm animals, but maybe there are
branches of evil that would have to be explored.
Curing hypocrisy is as difficult as curing a civil rights dispute there will always be a handful of people who
will differ from the norm. It can, however, be improved by recognizing your actions carefully and taming your own
imperfections rather than trying to tame others.

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Mooney, C. (2014, December 8). Across America, whites are biased and they dont even know it. Retrieved July 12,
2015, from http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/12/08/across-america-whites-are-
biased-and-they-dont-even-know-it/
Russell, L. (2014, May 22). Does evil exist and, if so, are some people just plain evil? Retrieved July 12, 2015, from
https://theconversation.com/does-evil-exist-and-if-so-are-some-people-just-plain-evil-26911

REPLY

Amanda,

You have a fascinating point about our innate biases functioning as a physical aspect of the body the hand. I did
not connect the biases to such a positive and more adjustable outlook because the tone of the resources I used
were in a negative light. I appreciate the new point of view since it is necessary to acknowledge in order to tame our
elephants. I think the connection can relate to the myth of pure evil as well because anything is capable of
wrongdoing; this could mean that Hitler or a serial killer is capable of being good, and their behavior could have
been helped from early life. Dahmer, for example, felt abandoned from his family, loved drinking, and enjoying
killing and dissecting animals - and humans. While inexcusable, certain behaviors couldve been helped or
prevented. Additionally, depression or shock may inhabit ones mind if he or she seems empty in the eyes or doesnt
seem to be empathetic. Thus, I believe pure evil should be explained more in depth because it sounds vague and
easy to argue.
 THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

The progress principle, stemmed from Richard Davidson, states a goals pathway as more pleasurable than
the relief of its achievement (Haidt, 2006). With clarity and insight I illustrate this idea through my stress-filled high
school experience. Not by any means did I relish those four years, but, grade-wise, the countless assignments and
projects were more pleasurable than the end result at graduation. I devoted my time and originality into creating
projects and research papers that would guarantee me an A on our seven-point scale; however, my academic
interest only led me to stress, breakdowns, lack of positivity in my social network, and sleep deprivation,
progressively worsening as I reached the end of senior year. Optimistically, Ive managed each, and earned grades
on assignments that made myself and my family proud. At the graduation ceremony, I, as well as my two close
friends, had decorative gowns and diplomas displaying our accomplishments: National Honor Society, Beta Club, NC
Academic Scholars, and summa cum laude. Well, what now? Shouldnt I be happy? No, I was only relieved to be
done because these accomplishments didnt get me anywhere I wanted, only rope and stickers to show. They are
meaningless in college now and to myself. Im in the same place as people who were happy in school and didnt
overdo themselves, and I was immediately filled with regret and anger. I couldve been happier; instead, I
brainwashed myself and had short-term pleasure. The experience, as noted by van Boven and Gilovich, made me
happier than the possessions I received (Haidt, 2006). Im certainly not one to brag and impress (trust me the
popular students did that well) because I didnt care about the other students in my high school; Im quite blunt,
introverted, and independent. I simply wanted to reach my parents strict expectations and, perhaps, impress them
to make them happy and to make up for being jobless. Sigh. I need to change my thoughts into thinking it's okay to
not strive for perfection because it's the experience of learning that counts, and I will be happier in my personal life.
Be optimistic and have fun!
Due to high school, I have trouble finding happiness and passion in activities, so I took the Person-Activity
Fit Diagnostic to determine what I will find natural, enjoyable, and accompanied with happiness (Lyubomirsky). My
partner also took it, and our results are quite interesting. We share the same order of fit scores at the beginning,
middle, and end: savoring lifes joys, cultivating optimism, learning to forgive, nurturing social relationships, and,
lastly, expressing gratitude. I was surprised to see that religion wasnt last because we are both non-religious and
gave the category all ones. We have two drastic differences: he has a higher fit score for acts of kindness and a low
score for avoiding overthinking; I have the opposite. Fortunately, we can work on these activities as individuals and
as a couple to better ourselves. According to reverse correlation, happiness causes marriage sooner and for longer
(Haidt, 2006). I agree that happiness leads to long commitment, especially as best friends, but not quickly because
of finances, planning, work, school, and finding a home. Were not losing anything by waiting until after graduation.
Companionate marriage is fascinating and relevant because we have the luxury of looking to marriage primarily for
love and companionship due to Americas wealth and modern day (Finkel, 2014). Additionally, happier marriages
can result from time spent with one another at least once a week and from a higher educational level (Finkel, 2014).
Relief to me we surpass the time spent together, and Im receiving two college degrees while he works as a
general manager.

Finkel, E. (2014, February 14). The All-or-Nothing Marriage. Retrieved July 15, 2015, from
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/opinion/sunday/the-all-or-nothing-marriage.html?_r=2
Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Lyubomirsky, S. Person-Activity Fit Diagnostic.

REPLY

Shon,

The lottery winner versus the quadriplegic is, indeed, an important comparison to make because it shows alternate
routes to happiness that lead back to the baseline. Although they produce the same outcome, they begin from
opposite ends of the spectrum (a great or horrible circumstance), meet in neutrality, and are prompted to rise up to
a new level of happiness. I believe that everyone should value their mistakes or unexpected turns more than
winning money to guide them through an experience of finding genuine happiness instead of material possessions
or fame.

I am, thankfully, not a parent, either. I understand how children can affect ones life because of observing our
mothers or fathers, as you described, and now my friends. The process definitely seems stressful and exhausting,
but there are ways to help that, in my opinion: equal effort from your partner (as a spouse and parent), a positive
environment, and converse with your partner about having/raising children. Even if the child is accidental, the
parents should plan and discuss every aspect of a family and gather advice from other parents. A family is doomed
only if they allow themselves to be.

LOVE AND ATTACHMENTS

1. My interview subject is my maternal grandfather, Ned Sexton.

2. My place of visitation is the Vajradhara Buddhist Centre. I plan to visit on Tuesday, July 28 from 7:00pm-
8:15pm to learn about how to take suffering and how to give happiness.

Due to my familiarity with and enthusiasm for psychology, the majority of information is recognizable yet
still enthralling to me. From Harlows milk hypothesis, Bowlbys studies of separation, and Ainsworths three
attachments, to Berscheid and Walsters passionate and companionate love, emotional bonds remain significant. (I
wish, however, that these studies displayed attachments other than those of a heterosexual orientation.) The desire
for a man to stay with a woman and his child is part of the result of a larger brain, although the desire is frowned
upon in the evolutionary theory (Haidt, 2006). Despite the alteration in male behavior, I believe women crave the
most commitment and emotional connection; according to the Five Love Languages test, quality time and words of
affirmation speak volumes to me, unsurprisingly (Love Language Profile). It fascinates me how strong attachments
to a partner, including jealousy, is essentially a universal idea instead of a tradition; but, there will always be the
ones who stray from the idea and simply engage in multiple sexual interactions. How do todays hook-ups or one-
night stands differ from the pasts views of men reproducing with numerous women? I shouldnt judge these
situations. The past accepted the concept far more than modern society but did not value true love between
partners and neither did philosophers. Plato, for example, described love as degrading and producing a disease,
perhaps because love is notorious for making people illogical and irrational (Haidt, 2006). I suspect love is capable
of holding characteristics of disease because it could easily control ones self and be difficult to exterminate.
Last fall at UNCC, I received detailed accurate results from the MBTI; I am type INFJ. The preference clarity
index shows that my introversion is very clear (a score of 30/30). Briefly, I am defined as visionary, insightful,
creative, compassionate, meaningful, loyal, individualistic, and private, and have strengths of organization, planning,
understanding, and listening. However, INFJs are idealists who are sensitive to criticism, stubborn when in a
disagreement, and are hard on themselves when insincere or dishonest precise to my personality. Gandhi and
Agatha Christie are prime examples, thank goodness, but so is Hitler (MBTI results). Unfortunately, introverts are
labeled poorly and are prone to be victims of bullying, especially through my eyes. We are seen as lazy, shy, boring,
and too much in our heads, yet we are only thinkers who listen and recharge while alone (Cain, 2013). The
stereotypical view is vexatious to me. I may be quiet, but I am not afraid nor will I alter this personality; as introverts,
we express ourselves differently, and more confidently through writing or deep conversation. The societal standards
to be outgoing could pressure the one-third of introverts into becoming a false extrovert (Cain, 2013). I may appear
as an improbable candidate for introversion via technology, an environment Ive not yet withdrawn from, but that
doesnt mean Ive lost the election.

Cain, S. (2013, March 17). The Power of Introverts. Retrieved July 19, 2015, from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74kBqeq__OQ
Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Love Language Profile for Couples | The 5 Love Languages. (n.d.). Retrieved July 19, 2015, from
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/
MBTI results
 REPLY

Ryan,

I couldnt agree more with your views on true love. I have doubts that passionate love could be everlasting without
all of the frustration and conflict, thus I believe that true love is a transition from passionate to companionate. It is,
unfortunately, essential in my opinion to engage in conflict in order to grasp your partners points of view and take
on life. Without digging into agreements and disagreements, wheres the deep connection? Possibly only in the
basics such as physical beauty and similar interests.

Surely enough, your contact and attachment to your mother or mother-like figure trickles down into your romantic
relationships. I depend on my mother, and I depend on my significant other. I also find it interesting how much I can
act like my mother, or father, in my relationship. Creepy.

You point out that the results reflect what you incline towards at that specific time. Although true, my result of INFJ
has stayed accurate through the few times Ive taken the MBTI (from high school to college). Would you think the
test would produce similar results as you continue to age?

THE USES OF ADVERSITY

Ive generally had the notion that people whove undergone painful experiences will rise in strength, but
the trauma actually produces benefits: reveals abilities, appreciation for new strengths, priority changes, stronger
relationships, and immunity to future stress (Haidt, 2006). The benefits are to be acknowledged on a personal level
and have the potential to be used independently and/or selflessly. Thus, a persons adjustments may be more
difficult to detect. The strength in connections are noticeable to some degree, though. My maternal grandmother,
for example, lost one of her brothers recently, and she and my grandfather located closer to the remaining
members of the family. I was one of few there with open arms for her when she needed someone to converse or
relax with, and, since then, weve been in touch far more than before. From another perspective, one of my friends
experienced the loss of a best friend, and she has dropped contact with older friends and began a new search for
relationships and popularity. Although I am curious about enduring posttraumatic growth to receive a reality check,
Im fearful of the suffering and impactful life changes that accompany it.
Adversities have made their appearances in my life, but probably on a lesser level than for others. Ive been
cautious in driving since I saw my brothers car accident and had to follow his towed car while I was a student
driver preparing to receive my permit; Ive had friends and family pass away too soon; Ive been bullied in middle
school for being quiet and dressing differently. I wish I became optimistic in life, but I shifted straight to pessimism
as I aged. As Haidt notes, pessimists will work harder to manage their pain than to fix their problems, feel more
threatened, and have less confidence (Haidt, 2006). Rather realistic. I need to make sense of and draw lessons in
situations. I tend to do so if I feel embarrassed, but I may opt out at the right opportunities. Orr, the man who killed
his brother in a hunting mishap, and his family need understanding that accidents do happen; unfortunately, the
healing process will never complete because the tragedy is incomprehensible, especially to a child (Orr, 2014). This
leads me to my problem: I cannot eliminate the effects of certain incidents no matter how hard I make sense of
them. Oftentimes its like my mind refuses to mask what I dont want to linger. On a bright side, Orr escapes through
poetry, and he has the ability to survive and connect with others. Perhaps we can do the same by writing and
conversing every day.
Whilst possessing the mind of a pessimist, my emotions and actions are always in my control; this is my
second strength, self-control and self-regulation. My other top strengths are the capacity to love and be loved;
industry, diligence, and perseverance; honesty, authenticity, and genuineness; and bravery and valor. Even though
none are weaknesses, I still see an importance of order. Love is superior to work, thankfully, because striving for
achievement leads to less happiness (and short-term satisfaction). If I took this test five years ago, Im sure love
wouldnt be at the top because I had relationship and family issues as most adolescents do. Honesty is key to me,
and I definitely wouldnt want to be someone Im not. Perhaps this is why Ive had difficulties finding my interests
and career paths after I discovered the path I was leading was one that my family wanted me to choose. Lastly,
bravery wasnt a characteristic I described myself as, but the test states that I wont shrink from threat, challenge,
difficulty, or pain and that I speak up for myself (Authentic Happiness, 2003). I stay true to myself, and I wont let
adversity beat me.

Authentic Happiness. (2003). VIA Survey of Character Strengths. Retrieved July 22, 2015, from
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/
Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Orr, G. (2014, August 30). When a Child Kills. Retrieved July 22, 2015, from
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/31/opinion/sunday/reflections-on-a-shooting-range-death-from-one-
who-knows.html?_r=0

REPLY

Mercy,

Im sorry for your loss. Im glad you had the support from a friend to ease the ache on the family; Im sure her
presence was needed even if you didnt enjoy it at the time. I cannot fathom the idea of losing someone close to
me, but at least Ill have Haidts uses and coping strategies for adversity in mind! Isnt it tremendous, though, that
even through the worst experiences, our lives are still capable of building strength and happiness?

Although religion may be one of the most beneficial routes of coping, Im not religious by any means. Fortunately,
that does not mean I have lost the ability to cope. I could substitute religion with dancing and yoga because they
allow me to clear my mind, express myself, and find comfort in a similar manner. Of course, writing is advantageous,
too. Journals and diaries arent just a girl thing!

THE FELICITY OF VIRTUE

Does possessing empathy produce happiness?

Not necessarily. One would think that aiding others in service learning would cause one to connect with
them; but, volunteering may not make one happy. Jane Piliavin studied different age groups and how they are
affected by helping others. For adolescents, service learning reduced delinquency and behavioral problems,
increased civic participation, and increased commitment to positive social values but did not correlate with self-
esteem and happiness (Haidt, 2006). In high school, I was a member of two clubs that required me to complete at
least twenty-five hours of community service. I felt obligated to help others to receive credit, so volunteering did not
make me any happier. Truthfully, I thought the service learning was more stressful because it felt like another piece
of homework to accomplish. Although, I can say that I am more involved in civic participation but only when it
interests me or involves helping animals. I do not intend to sound selfish or insensitive. (I actually have an average
amount of empathy with a score of 40 according to the Empathy Quotient). I am simply conditioned to think that
aiding others is a duty, and I dont believe that the donation advertisements help. For example, people automatically
thought that they were going to be asked to donate when reading about eight child refugees, but felt empathy for
the children when no cost was involved (Cameron, 2015). Are we trying to avoid feeling empathetic? Likewise, Ive
seen people help others to gain attention or to reassure themselves that they are (or can be) good people. Thus, the
selfish ones who may not feel empathy as they should and the neutral ones who are empathetic but may or may not
enjoy service learning may not be exhibiting more happiness in their daily lives. When one approaches the elderly
years, giving to friends and family rather than receiving produces health improvements and a longer life and makes
them feel blessed (Haidt, 2006). Why not hold empathy towards strangers? Well, we have a limit as to how much
empathy we can extend to everyone and a weak attachment to strangers (Bloom, 2015). Although I believe we
favorite those who are close to us, I agree more with the view of empathy as a choice. We have the capability to talk
to anyone, but we can choose if we want to understand and become emotionally attached to their situations in life,
especially if we have previously judged them. For example, there was this one girl in high school I never liked or
connected with. No matter what she does or goes through, I choose to not be empathetic with her because my
mindset is stuck on disliking her. On another thought, say you have already judged a woman because of her
provocative appearance, then say that she is later on raped. There will most likely be a debate on who to blame
because you have already judged the woman; and, some may have difficulty feeling empathetic for her. Clearly in
this situation one would not feel any happier for feeling sorry for her, but one could feel happier that he or she can
understand and has someone to connect with. I find it interesting how Cameron points out that higher powers
possess less empathy (Cameron, 2015). Hitler is, yet again, a perfect example because he had no empathy for killing
humans. However, he was somehow compassionate towards animals. I believe that he chose who to empathize for
and who to not. But did his amount of empathy make him happy? Possibly in the moment because he knew he was
powerful, but not overall; he resorted to suicide.

Bloom, P. (2015, June 6). Imagining the Lives of Others. Retrieved July 26, 2015, from
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/06/imagining-the-lives-of-others/?_r=0
Cameron, D., Inzlicht, M., & Cunningham, W. (2015, July 10). Empathy Is Actually A Choice. Retrieved July 26, 2015,
from http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/12/opinion/sunday/empathy-is-actually-a-choice.html
The Empathy Quotient
Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.

REPLY

Stephanie,

I, too, enjoy shopping when having a rough day, but then I realize that the merchandise I purchased will not make
me happy in the long run. Sometimes I forget a few weeks later that I even had some of the items I bought. This ties
back to the idea of material goods versus experiences in terms of happiness. Of course, experiences will make you
happier and possibly connect more with others. I suppose this could be a reason why the elderly in particular benefit
more when helping others rather than receiving gifts. Why not as much in the other age groups? Do you think that
the elderly enjoy direct person-to-person contact more due to the stage of life that they are experiencing (late
friends and family, retirement, not much longer to live, etc.)? Why wouldnt adolescents or adults want to get a
head start?

I agree that happiness should come from within, or else youre just there to impress or conform to ones standards.
However, there are people who will volunteer only because such acts are praised in todays society.

HAPPINESS COMES FROM BETWEEN & CONCLUSION

Jonathan Haidts insightful text, The Happiness Hypothesis, allows me to take away numerous messages
about myself and the life I live, but the most important, in my opinion, is the truth that I am in control of who I am
and how I wish to be guided the rider and the elephant. I wish to make the most out of my journey, since I have
repeatedly found disappointment within my destinations. Perhaps the journey that I will improve on will enhance
the meaning and pleasure of the outcomes and lead me to integrity and wisdom (instead of despair) for when I
become a senior citizen. I am mainly speaking of my academic and work world, since I am proud of personal
destinations involving veganism and my relationship. One could say that I am striving for a meaningful life, especially
since I am constantly stressed and challenged, engaged in self-expression, and focused on the past, present, and
future (Marsh, 2014). However, I would like to merge that with a happy life because I believe that I should enjoy
what I want to fulfill. Baumeister states that seeking happiness without meaning would probably be a stressful,
aggravating, and annoying proposition, and it could be vice-versa, at least in my case (Marsh, 2014). Ive let myself
be deprived of happiness and have aimed towards meaning, but whose life is fun without happiness? Although
looking greater than yourself is generally suggested, looking greater than or equal to yourself seems best in my
perspective; do not exclude your own self and simply focus on others, but improve yourself and help others. I am
going to primarily help my own family, friends, and partner because of the stronger attachment I have for them than
for strangers, but I will continue to help others and, of course, animals.
Seeing the log in your own eye is also a significant key to a good life (Haidt, 2006). Society, and my
unfortunate generation, focuses too much on insulting, degrading, and judging others instead of accepting others
and being optimistic. The news outlets encourage this problem by covering bad stories nearly nonstop. (My
brother and I were actually discussing the other day what effect a news channel would have on others if it covered
only good stories, such as birth announcements, cool birthday parties or paying-it-forward.) However, the social
stigmas and stereotypes should not be heard; we shouldnt care what others think. Graham suggests to not worry
about anyones opinion other than your friends (Popova). Such an easy rule to follow, yet we seem to be blindsided.
I tend to think of the statement when I am embarrassed because I shift my thoughts from oh these people think Im
dumb to a bigger picture of who cares, one mistake, Ive a great life. Additionally, everyone else is most likely
thinking the same, so the spotlight effect should be less intense on oneself. The two last thoughts that could
enhance my life are those of Botton and MacLeod: were truly the authors of our own ambitions and to note the
difference between what you are willing to do, and what you are not (Popova). As a college student, these notions
need to be applied; I should progress in what I want, be successful on my own terms, know my strengths and
interests, and not be afraid of adversity. Personally, I will feel successful promoting veganism, getting married, and
landing a job career calling involving psychology or criminology. If there are obstacles or changes in mind, let it be
and head towards the path I wish to seek.

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York, New York: Basic
Books.
Marsh, J., & Suttie, J. (2014, February 25). Is a Happy Life Different from a Meaningful One? Retrieved August 2,
2015, from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/happy_life_different_from_meaningful_life
Popova, M. (n.d.). How to Find Your Purpose and Do What You Love. Retrieved August 2, 2015, from
http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/02/27/purpose-work-love/

REPLY

Leandra,

I can undoubtedly relate to and connect with your main points. The progress principle is an enlightening idea
because Ive never applied it to my life as a whole. Ive generally enjoyed completing tasks like getting homework
done, yet Ive enjoyed experiences like concerts and dont want them to end. Funny thing is, I wont enjoy
completing life, so I need to make the journey as meaningful as when I am singing in a crowd of head-bangers,
especially at this transitioning point towards adulthood. I become lost in musical events or when creating interactive
sculptures my flow and this quality should be taken into serious consideration when I obtain my career of
interest.

I thought the opposite when learning about happiness; Ive not entirely searched within and usually expected it to
come from the outside. But what we long for is balance, no matter what our starting point. Our lives will be
harmonious once we improve the rider and train the elephant.