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Polished draft: Persuasive essay

Inhyup Kim

Instructor: Professor Crane

English 1010

19 May 2012

Persuasive essay about social media

Nowadays, a lot of people are using social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler, and so on.
Since the Internet has propagated rapidly, social media have progressed a lot. The generalization of the
internet makes us live conveniently and fast. People are almost using smart phones, i-phones or
comfortable devices which can access to internet. These equipments make us to do social network easily.
It helps us contact friends, family, and other people even though they live far away. It could be, however,
abused, if you don’t use it properly.

In discussions of social media, one controversial issue has been social is good to use for people.
On the one hand, some people argue social media is okay to use freely. On the other hand, other people
even contend social media is to use with regulation. My own view is thatunderstanding and regulating the
use of social media by people. Because social media can make us addicts, give us mental or physical
disorder, and make us waste time.

First of all, social media, especially Facebook, are very addictive. People would say drug or alcohol
is more addictive than social media or social media addiction is not big problems, but it is not true. There is
a report of the social media addiction by University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business on the Fox News:

A team from the University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business recently conducted an experiment
involving 205 people in Wurtzburg, Germany to analyze the addictive properties of social media and other
vices. Participants in the week-long study were polled via BlackBerry smart phones seven times per day
and asked to report when they experienced a desire within the past 30 minutes, and whether or not the
succumbed to that desire. They were also asked to gauge each desire on a scale from mild to “irresistible.”

In the light of these facts, surely social media make addicts, and it is hard to escape. The problem is most
people who have an addiction to social media don’t even realize it.

Second, people can get mental and physical disorders easily through using social media. People
might think social media does not contribute to the disorders. They argued the social media is good for
mental diseases because social media help express their feelings or thought easily. Also, through social
media, they can be connected each other more. However, social media just offer limited meeting. They just
meet on websites, not physical meeting. On the Mental Health Blog, the psychologist, Aric Sigman suggests
“The use of social networking sites as opposed to face-to-face interaction could lead to major health
problems.”

Later in the same article, he claimed in the British Journal The Biologist “Spending too much time online
could lead to social isolation, loneliness and a negative outlook. These types of psychological symptoms
could eventually lead to more serious health concerns, such as heart disease, cancer and dementia.”
Using social media disturbs us to make deep relationship with others. When they are using social
media, we do not need to move a lot. It is okay just to stay at home. We do not need to active a lot. As a
result, it leads naturally mental and physical disorders.

Third, social media doesn’t help for their studies or talents. People think social media is good places
to show their talents or works what they did. For example, they argue people can share video clip what they
playing the instruments or dancing or singing. It is, however, for people who already good to do those. If
you are not good at those things and if you spend time to do social media, it would be hard to progress your
talents. I did surveys about relationships between using social media and studying last semester. Most
students answered using social media is not helpful to study. Also, students who got good grades spend
just a little time to use social media. Using social media steals your time to what really want to do easily. If
you do not pay attention, your time is gone very fast, and it cannot be returned. If you read books, study,
exercising, practice singing, dancing or playing the instruments instead of using social media, it would be
much better for you and your future life.

Question #5: Using the Social Network helps you in your work and studies

18 ~ 24 year-old = 20 25~30 year-old = 5 Over 30 year-old = 5

Agree No Disagree Agree No Disagree Agree No Disagree


opinion opinion opinion

2 7 11 3 1 1 1 1 3

10% 35% 55% 60% 20% 20% 20% 20% 60%

Question #6: Using the Social Network helps you in your work and studies

GPA (0 ~ 2.0) = 0 GPA (2.1 ~ 3.5) = 19 GPA ( over 3.6) = 11


Agree No Disagree Agree No Disagree Agree No Disagree
opinion opinion opinion
0 0 0 5 6 8 1 3 6
0% 0% 0% 26% 32% 42% 9% 27% 64%

People are easy to be exposed to environments which using social media. Social media are favorite
not only along with teens or youngsters; it’s growing among working people and also old people. Social
media addiction drug exactly where everyone is continuously logged on it irrespective that they have worked
or they don’t have anything to complete. It’s regarded Social media an addiction exactly where many people
have become addicts every day. It could be occurred mental and physical disease and make you waste
time. Those are why we need to understand and regulate the use of social media.
Works cited

Epstein, Zach. " Facebook and Twitter are more addictive than cigarettes or alcohol, study finds." Fox News, 7, Oct.
1996. Web. 06 Feb. 2012.

Sigman, Aric. "Is Facebook Really Bad For Your Health?" Mental Health Blog, 12 Jan. 2008. Web. 25 Feb. 2009