Magnetic Personality

Monday, January 19, 2015 9:57 AM

1. Appeal to people's perceived selves- Zero in on what people seem to pride themselves on and
appeal to them on a personal level. for example- If I notice that one of my friends is really
interested in sports, then I talk to them about sports and ask questions about sports. If someone is
interested in cars, then talk about cars and so on. You can always ask questions from people about
what field they are in, what they think of the weather, their plans for any upcoming trips, how
their work is going, what they do etc.
2. Utilize the touch effect- While talking to people, if you use the touch effect, then it brings a
different value to the conversation.
3. The power of "Why"- Ask "why" like a curious child and you will be able to dig deep into people as
very few have done every before. - Dig into people's life by asking them questions that they would
only tell their closest friends.
4. No pedants allowed- don't correct others on small things that don't matter- correctness doesn't
make friends.
5. Don't debate tastes and opinions
6. Curiosity trumps all
7. Help'em chase that feeling- figure out the emotion that other people are trying to convey in a
story or while talking and be agreeable with them.
8. Compliment and express freely- Complimenting people and the way it allows people to brag feely
conditions them to enjoy your presence.

• Principle 1: Appeal to people’s perceived selves. Zero in on what people seem to pride themselves
on and appeal to them on a personal level.

• Principle 2: Callback to conversational high points. Mentally catalog a few emotionally high points
of a conversation and refer to them later for personalized attention.

• Principle 3: Utilize the touch effect. Touch has the power to comfort, familiarize, and by touching,
you put yourself into the friend stratosphere.

• Principle 4: Sometimes the best question is silence. Well-placed silences and pauses wil show
confidence in yourself and encourage the other person to fill the silence.

• Principle 5: The Power of “Why.” Ask “why” like a curious child and you will be able to dig deep
into people as very few have done ever before.

• Principle 6: Filler phrases feel like chemistry. Develop a few go-to filler phrases to meet people’s
expectations of a flowing, chemistry-filled conversation.

• Principle 7: You don’t have to be an extrovert. Introverts and extroverts can be similarly magnetic,
but simply approach connecting from a different angle.

• Principle 8: The anti-Judge Judy. You can diffuse conflict gracefully simply by giving others the
benefit of the doubt and figuring out what the root causes are.

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 benefit of the doubt and figuring out what the root causes are.

• Principle 9: How to be the great storyteller. Internalize a story’s optimal structure and exaggerate
your emotions during the deliver to deliver a great story.

• Principle 10: No pedants allowed. Don’t correct others on small things that don’t matter –
correctness doesn’t make friends.

• Principle 11: Don’t debate tastes and opinions. If you try to change someone’s taste or opinion,
you become an adversary giving unsolicited advice.

• Principle 12: But really, curiosity trumps all. Having a curious mindset towards the other person
will influence every phase of your conversation and relationship at large.

• Principle 13: Help ‘em chase that feeling. Figure out the emotion that other people are trying to
convey and give it to them in spades.

• Principle 14: What does your face say? Practice the mirror test and aligning your emotions and
your physical appearance thereof.

• Principle 15: When are you the general or soldier? Know when to lead an interaction and when
the other person will be stubborn and bullish about its direction.

• Principle 16: Compliment and express freely. Complimenting people and the way it allows people
to brag freely conditions them to enjoy your presence.

• Principle 17: Never just “No.” Stay positive and don’t tell others “no” from the outset, as it makes
them defensive and shuts down conversations.

• Principle 18: Calibrate towards a role model. Find a role model for social interactions, confidence,
any trait you would like to develop and ask what they would do when you’re in a bind.

• Principle 19: Social cues for social success. Learn to observe and recognize well-known social cues
that will tell you what people are really saying to you or about you.

• Principle 20: Find your image. Figure out how you want to be perceived and the image you want
to convey, and work towards viewing your life experiences through that lens

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