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Soft skills class 3

So far we have:

- Defined soft skills: “emergent” leadership, adaptability, humility, and ownership”

- Studied the importance of EI compared to IQ in today’s day and age.
- Studied multiple intelligences and analysed our own intelligence make-up.
- Seen how we all have different concepts of the meaning of success (passion, work, serve,
focus, push, good, idea and persist)

Today we will:

- Discuss the importance of body language and see how good we are it through tests and
- See how we can improve it

Analysing Trump and Putin's body language at G20 meeting

It's the first time the two presidents have met - so what did their body language tell us
about how it went? Expert Mary Civiello breaks down three key moves.


1. How do both politicians appear to be?

2. Who dominated the handshake? How?
3. Why did Trump pat Putin on the back?
4. Who looked most comfortable when they sat down on the chairs?
5. What message did Putin’s eye contact with Trump convey?

Body language test 1:
1. You can tell a lot about a person by their handshake. The double handshake, (where
the person places their second hand on top of yours), is likely to be used by ...

A. Someone who tends to dominate in meetings

B. Someone who is submissive
C. Someone who trusts you and wants you to trust them

2. Eye contact is an important part of communication, and a lack of it can imply

deception. To avoid staring at somebody, how can you naturally strike a balance?

A. When breaking eye contact, look to the left or the right

B. Look down at the floor every 30 seconds or so
C. Look just past the person whose gaze you can no longer hold

3. It’s said that a genuine smile is almost impossible to produce on command. But
what gives away a fake one?

A. The smile begins slowly and spreads across the rest of the face
B. There is a lack of crinkles around the eyes
C. The person's eyes close slightly

4. When you stand up to talk in front of a group of people, what can you do to exude

A. Strike a wide stance

B. Try to position a desk or table between you and your audience
C. Clasp your hands in front of you

5. Which of these signals suggest the person you are speaking to might not be telling
the whole truth?

A. They make steady eye contact

B. They make frequent hand to face touches, including attempts to cover their mouth
C. They answer you fairly promptly

6. You need to ask some tough questions about your team’s performance, and you
notice that your team leader’s leg is shaking. Does that suggest:

A. He’s feeling bored by the conversation

B. He’s feeling jittery about your line of questioning
C. He is exuding confidence

7. While addressing a senior member of your team about staffing changes, she
suddenly crosses her arms. Do you take that to mean:

A. She suddenly feels cold

B. She's not sure what to do with her hands.
C. She is feeling defenceless, and is trying to shut out what is being proposed

8. Leaders tend to use their tone of voice and expansive body movements to create a
sense of authority. What should they do with their hands to emphasise this effect?

A. Keep their palms facing down

B. Make wild, expansive hand gestures while speaking
C. Keep their hands in their pockets

9. People could be paying attention to your body language before an event. To create a
good impression, should you ...

A. Sit and fiddle with your phone

B. Sit staring vacantly ahead
C. Swap your smartphone for a newspaper

10. Using your hands while you talk can communicate a range of meanings, from
enthusiasm and passion, to a lack of control. What would calm, rounded hand
gestures say to you?
11. “I’m open and clear”
12. “I think I’m in trouble”
13. “I’m feeling over the moon”

Video 2: How people see you!


What does the presenter say about how we should position our:

- Hands and arms?

- Feet and legs?

- Chest

- Head?

How should we:

- Smile?

- Move our body?

- Use the space around us?

BBC Body language quiz

1. The most important aspect of spoken communication is:

A. Articulation B. Body language C. Accent

2. According to Albert Mehrabian, what percentage of communication is expressed in body


A. 7% B. 38% C. 55%

3. Which of these is not an important part of body language?

A. Eye contact B. Hair style C. Body position

4. When talking to someone you should:

A. Make eye contact but look away every now and again
B. Keep your eyes fixed on them
C. Make sure you don't look at them

5. Which is these body positions makes a good impression on a listener?

A. Shoulders slumped
B. Arms crossed
C. Head up and looking around

6. Crossing your arms suggests you are:

A. Open and confident

B. Angry and aggressive
C. Defensive and nervous

7. A gesture is a movement you make with your:

A. Hands B. Hips C. Feet

8. Gestures are important because they:

A. Mean you don't have to rely on words

B. Give your words clarity and emphasis
C. Get in the way of the words

9. Which of these gestures might ask someone to be reasonable?

A. Hands spread wide apart

B. Fists clenched
C. Open palm with fingers pointing down

10. Movement is important because:

A. It's always boring if you don't

B. If you keep on moving it's distracting
C. It can be useful when engaging a whole room

TED video: Listening and discussion

Adam Galinsky teaches people all over the world how to inspire others, speak up
effectively, lead teams and negotiate successfully.

Adam Galinsky is currently the chair of the management division at Columbia Business
School. He co-authored the critically acclaimed and best-selling book, Friend & Foe,
which distills his two decades of research on leadership, negotiations, diversity,
decision-making and ethics. The New York Times says the book performed "a
significant public service" and the Financial Times declared that Friend & Foe "fulfills its
promise of handing the reader tools to be a better friend and a more formidable foe."

- Would like to write a book? If so, what on?

Galinsky has received numerous national and international awards for his teaching and
research. He is only the second psychologist to ever to receive the two most important
mid-career Awards in Social Psychology. In 2015, he was named one of the top 50
Thinkers on Talent by Thinkers50. In recognition of the quality of his teaching and
research, he was selected as one of the World's 50 Best B-School Professors by Poets
and Quants (2012).

Galinsky has consulted with and conducted executive workshops for clients across the
globe, including Fortune 100 firms, non-profits and local and national governments. He
has served as a legal expert in multiple defamation lawsuits, including a trial where he
was the sole expert witness for a plaintiff awarded $37 million in damages.

- If you had to work for the government, which Ministry could you see yourself

- Which NGO would you like to work for?

Outside of his professional life, Galinsky is the associate producer on four award-
winning documentaries, including Horns and Halos and Battle for Brooklyn, which were
both short-listed for Best Documentary at the Academy Awards.

Watch the video and answer the following questions:

1. In the first example he gives, why didn’t they call the paediatrician?

2. In the second example he gives, did his brother get the contract?

3. What is “acceptable behaviour”?

4. What happens if we step outside our acceptable behaviour range?

5. What determines your range of acceptable behaviour?

6. In which two ways can power expand our range?

7. When are women seen to be stronger at negotiating outcomes?

8. What is the “E” experiment designed to show?

9. What two things can we do to improve other people’s perspective of us?

10. Which other qualities makes us feel self-confident when talking?