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MEN’S FRATERNIT Y

the
Quest for
Authentic Manhood

Robert M. Lewis

© COPYRIGHT 2003

FELLOWSHIP BIBLE CHURCH &

F E L LO W S H I P A S S O C I AT E S , I N C .

12115 HINSON ROAD

LITTLE ROCK, AR 72212

501-975-5050

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD
TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. At the Starting Line: Five Manhood Promises ......................................................................... 1
2. The Four Faces of Manhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
3. The First Step to Authentic Manhood: Looking Back . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8
4. The Second Step to Authentic Manhood: “Unpacking” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10
5. Remembering Dad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
6. Facing the Father Wound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
7. The Overly-Bonded with Mother Wound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16
8. Making a Healthy Break with Mom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
9. The All Alone Wound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21
10. Three Cheers for Mentors! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23
11. The Wounded Heart ............................................................................................................. 27
12. Implications of the Heart Wound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29
13. The Good News Solution to the Heart Wound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32
14. “Saddle Up!” for the Second Half . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34
15. Genesis and Manhood, Part 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38
16. Genesis and Manhood, Part 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40
17. A Biblical Definition of Manhood, Part 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42
18. A Biblical Definition of Manhood, Part 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45
19. A Man and His Wife, Part 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49
20. A Man and His Wife, Part 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .51
21. 25 Ways to Be a Servant-Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54
22. Fathers and Sons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .57
23. Fathers and Daughters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60
24. A Man and His Life Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .62

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD
S E S S I O N 1

AT T H E S T A R T I N G L I N E : F I V E M A N H O O D P R O M I S E S

I. Welcome to The Quest For Authentic Manhood!

II. A Brief Men’s FraternityTM Orientation

MF1 MF2 MF3

Name:

Focus:

Chief
Elements:

Major
Challenge:

Passion:

III. Basic Presuppositions I Am Bringing to Our Manhood Journey

A. Manhood is in a state of _______________________________________________.

P A G E 1

I believe. The Industrial Revolution B. C. E. _______________________ men settle for _____________________________. World War II C. _______________________ men create major ___________________________. Historical Roots to Our Present Crisis in Masculinity A. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 B. Feminism P A G E 2 . has helpful insights to all of the above. The __________________________. IV. There is no lofty _________________________ of manhood today that is compelling to men. D.

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 V. Which of those most excited you? Why? P A G E 3 . Five Manhood Promises I Can Fulfill If You Finish This Quest For Authentic Manhood A. Questions for Your Small Group Be sure everyone in your group is introduced. 1. You will have a clear ____________________________ of manhood. Why did you choose to join a manhood study like this one? What expectations do you personally have for Men’s FraternityTM here at the beginning? 2. D. You will make significant personal ___________________________ about yourself. You will develop a new manhood ________________________________. E. Robert made 5 promises to you. C. You will have your own personalized ______________________ for achieving authentic manhood. B. You will make new _______________________ who are pursuing a common goal.

2. Face #2: ___________________________________________ 1. Face #1: ___________________________________________ 1. 2. A Brief Review II. This face is seen in Scripture: • ________________________________ • ________________________________ B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 THE FOUR FACES OF MANHOOD I. Manhood’s Four Faces A. This is a face characterized by: • ________________________________ • ________________________________ • ________________________________ • ________________________________ 3. This is a face reflecting _______________________________. This is a face reflecting _______________________________. This is a face characterized by: • ________________________________ • ________________________________ • ________________________________ • ________________________________ • ________________________________ P A G E 4 .

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD
S E S S I O N 2

3. This face is seen in Scripture:

• ________________________________

C. Face #3: ___________________________________________

1. This is a face reflecting _______________________________.

2. This is a face characterized by:

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

3. This face is seen in Scripture:

• ________________________________

D. Face #4: ___________________________________________

1. This is a face reflecting _______________________________.

2. This is a face characterized by:

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

P A G E 5

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD
S E S S I O N 2

3. This face is seen in Scripture:

• ________________________________

• ________________________________

III. Some Important Observations About These Four Faces

A. All too often, these honorable faces of manhood are replaced by ____________________.

K

L F

W

P A G E 6

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD
S E S S I O N 2

B. Because of our morally-compromised culture, many men today lack a _____________________.

Without a _____________________, the ___________________________ becomes

unrestrained, hurting lives, including his own, in the process.

C. Our increasingly feminized culture has emasculated the _____________________ in many young men.

The result has been the creation of the ______________________ , _____________________

as to direction, _______________________ as to leadership.

D. Our world is desperate for the ___________________ balance of real manhood!

Questions for Your Small Group

1. Which of the four faces of manhood can you most identify with? Why?

2. Which of the four faces do you need the most help with right now? Why?

P A G E 7

Missed moments 4. Hurtful moments 5. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 3 THE FIRST STEP TO AUTHENTIC MANHOOD: LOOKING BACK I. Leaving Home … How? P A G E 8 . Noble moments 3. Up Close and Personal A. My Story C. Good moments 2. A Brief Review II. Defining moments D. EVERYBODY has a story B. Your Manhood Plan Worksheet III. Moments that Shaped My Life 1.

both positively and negatively? 3. What major themes for your life did you leave home with? How have those themes shaped your life. You cannot become a real man without ____________________________. __________________. Questions for Your Small Group 1. he can never be an authentic man.” F. E. B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 3 IV. As a man. Until a man ________________________ and deals with the ____________________and ______________________ that reside there. What personal assets did you leave home with because of your family life? 2. we are all significantly shaped by the kind of _____________________ we experienced. Many men have yet to reckon with their __________________ or close out the _________________ that still lives there. of one kind or another. For better or worse. Observations Looking Back A. C. There is no such thing as a “_______________________________. When a boy fails to “________________” with his Dad. D. My story is not ________________. what would it be? P A G E 9 . If you could change one thing about your upbringing. I am not ___________________________. often fill the void.

Some of it has to do with _______________________________. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 4 THE SECOND STEP TO AUTHENTIC MANHOOD: ”UNPACKING” I. Authentic Manhood Revolves Around Three Critical Issues A. 1. Some of it has to do with _______________________________. Addressing the __________________________ of my past. What do we mean by wound? A wound is … any _____________________________ where lack of closure adversely impacts and shapes the ________________________ and ___________________ of a man’s life now. C. P A G E 1 0 . B. A Summary of Why Men Struggle Today A. Some of it has to do with _______________________________. II.

Creating a high impact. Which kind of “suitcase”do you think you carry: A small one? A medium sized one? A large one? Don’t know? Explain. C. Questions for Your Small Group 1. Establishing a clear and compelling manhood ____________________. With which of the five wounds Robert unpacked this morning could you feel an immediate identification? Why? P A G E 1 1 . workable _____________________ for my life. The Overly ________________ with ________________ Wound c. 2. Unpacking the past: Five wounds men must deal with a. The ________________ Wound B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 4 2. The ________________ Wound d. The Lack of a Manhood ________________ Wound e. The ________________ Wound b.

A Definition: An ongoing emotional. or spiritual _______________________ ordinarily met in a ________________________ with Dad that must now be overcome by __________________. _________________________________________ 2. social. The Absent Father Wound A. _________________________________________ 4. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 5 REMEMBERING DAD I. B. Three words (or phrases) in remembering Dad C. Introduction 1960 1970 1980 1990 % of children living with biological father % of children living apart from biological father Proverbs 17:6 … _______________________________________________ II. _________________________________________ 3. _________________________________________ P A G E 1 2 . Results of the Absent Father Wound: 1.

of the four results of the Absent Father Wound could you most identify with? Why? 3. P A G E 1 3 . _________________________________________ C. If you could ask your Dad for one thing and get it. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 5 III. _________________________________________ B. _________________________________________ D. _________________________________________ E. what would it be? Explain. What Is It That Every Son Wants and Needs From His Father? A. What are three words (or phrases) that describe how you remember your Dad? 2. So. _________________________________________ Questions For Your Small Group 1. Which. if any.

in some ways. C. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 6 F A C I N G T H E F AT H E R W O U N D I. Each of us is. to some degree. II. 1.” MAKE SURE HE HEARS … MAKE SURE HE HAS … P A G E 1 4 . Each of us is. Let’s Summarize Where We Are A. a ________________ of the past. 3. We are exploring the first of five major wounds in life that _________________ us. B. Each of us has a __________________ to tell. If you’re a Dad … make sure your son(s) has “_______________________. We are in the process of seeking to make sense of __________ we are the ______________ we are. Eight Proactive Remedies For the Absent Father Wound A. 2. __________________ by the past until we consciously and willfully choose to break that _________________________. This wound is being inflicted upon sons at ________________ today.

D. If you’re a son wounded by Dad …_________________________ with your father. Have you released Dad and assumed responsibility for your own life? If you could sit down and “bare your soul”to your father. By choosing to ______________ your Dad. or a Dad separated from your son(s) by divorce. G. Don’t let that stop you! 2. If you’re a son wounded by Dad … choose to touch this wound _______________________. 3. Questions for Your Small Group 1. What do your children need from you right now? Are there things you are doing (or not doing) that may cause your children to be wounded later in life? P A G E 1 5 . __________________________________. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 6 B. 2. There may be separation between you and your Dad that springs from Dad’s __________________. no matter how old. You need to clean it up! F. If you’re a single Dad. E. what would you say to him? 2. If you’re a Dad … it’s never too late to “_____________ ”with your son(s). C. If you’re a son wounded by Dad … risk asking for your ___________________. If you’re a son wounded by Dad … risk asking for your ___________________. There may be separation between you and your Dad that springs from _____________________. By choosing to believe in _________________________. or a Dad who has inherited a son(s) through remarriage. Which of the eight father wound remedies could you apply to your life right now? Explain. 1. If you’re a son wounded by Dad …________________ the relationship you missed by becoming a ______________________ to your children. H. 1.

The “Mom” Factor II. B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 7 T H E O V E R LY . Real health for a man with Mom moves him … FROM TO TO TO ___________ A healthy A healthy ___________ with ___________ ___________ ___________ with ___________ LITERALLY SEPARATION SEPARATION RELATIONALLY III. B. This wound is not one of abuse. but _____________. A Definition: An _________________________ emotional relationship with Mother that causes a son to either be ___________ by the influence of women later on in life or to ___________________________ and become ____________________ to that influence. but a wound disguised as ____________________________. P A G E 1 6 . From ___________________ bondedness.B O N D E D W I T H M O T H E R W O U N D I. neglect. Exploring the Mother Wound A. Some Important Characteristics: 1. or absenteeism. 2. C. From ___________________ bondedness. This wound is not blatant. Two Significant Breaks With Mom A.

This wound is so powerful. Men become _______________ and _______________ toward women. B. 2. 5. ______________________ Moms V. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 7 3. ______________________ Moms 4. Can you see a connection between the way you relate to your mom and how you relate to other women in your life? In how you relate to your wife. This is not a wound of _______________ but _______________________. IV. Would you say you have effectively made “the break”with Mom? Does your Mom presently exert an unhealthy influence in your life? Your marriage? What would your wife say? 4. How This Wound Occurs A. What most impacted you in this session? Explain. if you have one? P A G E 1 7 . It often begins with an ________________ or ______________ father. ______________________ Moms 3. B. It can also be influenced by one of _________________________ : 1. Questions for Your Small Group 1. 4. ______________________ Moms 2. Describe your relationship with your Mom growing up. This wound looks like _____________ but feels like ____________________. Men become _______________ and _______________ toward women. How This Wound Manifests Itself In Adulthood: Two Responses A. it can wrongly ________________ or _______________ the masculine psyche. How is (was) it as an adult? 3.

• ____________________________________ • ____________________________________ • ____________________________________ 2. Spiritual Clarity – Matthew 12:46-50 D.) • ____________________________________ (fear of being ___________________________) • ____________________________________ D. • ____________________________________ (in extreme cases. Social Clarity – John 2:1-4 C. Jesus and His Mom A. A Brief Review A. A Healthy Ending – John 19:25-27 P A G E 1 8 . _____________________ . Sons can become overly _______________ in regard to women. Sons can become overly _______________ in regard to women. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 8 M A K I N G A H E A LT H Y B R E A K W I T H M O M I. Two Major Consequences of this Wound 1. Definition of the Overly-Bonded with Mother Wound C. The Difficulty of this Wound II. etc. Relational Clarity – Luke 2:43-50 B. “Legs”of Manhood B.

Do not be derailed by this! In time. ___________adjust. encouragement. Ask for her support and prayer. D. G. If you have this wound. and accountability. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 8 III. 2. and help you need from_________________ and develop _______ for healthy independence from Mom. B. F. Stop complaining or struggling with Mom. Always start with the understanding that breaking Mom’s over-involvement is good for you _____________. Invite their feedback to avoid serious _________________ making a healthy break. get the _______________. your efforts to establish a healthy relationship with Mom will result in a time of ____________ or even your Mom’s ____________________. tell your wife you recognize the problem with an interfering Mom and that ___________ will take responsibility to correct it. Use the _________________ to “report back to”for clarity. E. It’s your problem … not hers. 1. encouragement. C. This plan should address ______________ that are troublesome with _____________. Communicate your _________ in one of the following ways to your Mom and stand your ground regardless of how she responds. This plan should include clear ____________________ attached to boundary violations. This plan should establish time-tested ______________ for how you and Mom will interact in the future. If you are married. In some cases. Seven Suggestions for Healing This Wound A. but ask her ________ to get involved. 3. Through a ___________________________ (if necessary). 2. 1. P A G E 1 9 . Authentic manhood ________________ without it. Through a new way of _______________________. not what ___________________. Recognize that your ultimate goal is to become a man whose vision is fixed on what __________________.

B. V. the Dad. 2. This call away needs to be ___________________. How will you handle the Absent Father Wound? 2. The Critical Need Today is For Fathers _________________ Teenage Sons ______________ From Dependency on Mom to Manhood A. Start work on your Manhood Plan _________! 1. Do you struggle with the Mother Wound? What steps in this session would you employ to begin to address this wound? 3. How will you address the Overly-Bonded with Mother Wound? Questions for Your Small Group 1. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 8 IV. This call away needs to be ______________ by the son. How could other men be of help to you? 4. and the Mom to be effective. B. The “___________” of masculinity (weak or strong) on which a man stands are established at home. How could you help your son (teenage or older) begin to make a healthy break with Mom? P A G E 2 0 . C. How has this session helped you? What new insights did you gain from this session? Explain. CONCLUSION A. This call away needs to employ ________________.

The Point: Every Man Benefits From the Company of Other _________________ A.__________________ living 3. The _______________________________ II.__________________ of opportunities for much needed transparency C. Three Significant Relationships That Bless and Energize a Man’s Life A. emotional and spiritual ______________ caused by the lack of healthy _____________________ that results in … • ________________________________ and ___________________________ • ________________________________ and ___________________________ • ________________________________ masculinity III._____________________________________on life 2. The _______________________________ B. The _______________________________ C. The Significant Downside to Isolation 1. The Friendless American Male B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 9 THE ALL ALONE WOUND I. What the Scripture has to Say • Proverbs 27:17 • Proverbs 18:24 • Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 • Proverbs 17:17 • Hebrews 10:24 • 1 Samuel 20:17 P A G E 2 1 .__________________ of motivation for the noble things of life 4. The “All Alone”Wound Defined A social.

___________________ men you like to ______________________________ with you to “____________________________. __________________________ to other men 3. 5. What hinders you the most right now from strong male friendships? Explain. Questions for Your Small Group 1. What steps could you take right now to develop a real friend? Explain. ___________________________ together. 2. 3. Learn the _________________ to friendship • _________________________ • _________________________ • _________________________ 2. What You Can Do 1. Include these steps in your Manhood Plan! P A G E 2 2 . THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 9 D.” 4. What impacted you the most in this session? Explain. Get _____________ and share your ______________.

He is one who seeks to_________________ the development of your gifts while seeking to ______________ you from costly mistakes. The Vision of Words B. 3. B. Male mentors are _____________________. He is not necessarily a close ________________. 2. The Awesome. Five Comments About a Mentor 1. He is one who ______________ rather than ______________ with you. Exploring this Rich Concept Called “Mentoring” A. Dad can only take you __________________. not a ________________. Is Mentoring Different than Discipleship? P A G E 2 3 . 2. 4. C. 5. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 0 THREE CHEERS FOR MENTORS! I. Empowering Impact of an “Older” Man A. He is one who ________________ and _________________ in you because he _______________ your value and untapped potential. Locking onto a Life II. From Dad to Whom? 1. He is one who is primarily a ______________. but he is a close __________________.

He is ____________________ in his lifestyle. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 0 D. E. He is ________________ by other men. As Iron Sharpens Iron. He is willing to take a _____________ on you. He is able to ______________ your real ______________. He both ____________ and __________________. I. This man clearly __________ what you personally _____________. Some Scriptures to Sample IV. _______________________ 3. G. F. B. He has a network of _________________. D. He chooses to _______________ a ________________ with you. A ___________________ in you 4. _______________________ through experience 2. Howard Hendricks’ book. C. He is concerned with your ______________________. He is ____________________ by others. H. 1995) A. In some instances … a proven _________________ III. Ten Marks of a Good Mentor (from Dr. _______________________ for your achievement 5. The Bible Is Filled With Mentors and Mentoring A. Some Examples B. P A G E 2 4 . What a Mentor Brings to the Table 1. J. Moody Press.

from _________________ . Allows a man to teach _____________ . This is most important. The Impact of Mentoring A. 4. 2. For his Protégé 1. Closes the _________________ on a man’s life cycle. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 0 V. Adds a missing _______________ to an older man’s life. Connects older and younger men in a _________________ relationship. _______________________ VI. Make a list of your _____________ and ___________________ you can bless a younger man’s life with. For the Mentor 1. P A G E 2 5 . A bigger personal _____________________ 4. Want to be a Mentor 1. Gives older men a significant ________________ in the second half of life. which younger men desperately need and want. _______________________ 3. What To Do If You … A. B. _______________________ 2. 3. 5.

” Questions for Your Small Group 1. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 0 2. If you “_________________. Then let him go. 4. Determine how much ____________ you have to give. a Mentor 1. Are there men around you that you would like to be mentored by in some way? What keeps you from asking them to invest in you? 4.”initiate some regular time together until the protégé has what he ___________________. ______________ for wisdom and guidance. 4. Could you see yourself as a mentor right now? Why or why not? 3. Who have been the mentors in your life? Explain. 2. but Lack. Are you beginning to see the power a man has in “investing down”in younger men? Explain. Pray for and choose a _______________ you want to be with and reach out to him. Need. B. P A G E 2 6 . Don’t get __________________ if you are turned ______________. Get a ____________ and ask an older man to “______________________. 3. Go and __________________ courageously. 3. How did these “mentors”make a difference? Explain. 2.

C. Jeremiah 17:9 2. Nurture vs. D. B. at _________________ by nature with our Creator and each other. Half Truths A. We’re losing out because ___________________________________ . We’re losing out because of a ________________________________ . Nature Wounds II. This wound defined: We are all ____________________ and _________________creatures. We’re losing out because of _________________________________ . We’re losing out because of _________________________________ . Ecclesiastes 9:3b B. The Hidden Truth Behind All of Life’s Troubles A. P A G E 2 7 . III. 1. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 1 THE WOUNDED HEART I. We are all ________________ with a condition known as the ___________________________.

. I have inherited a _______________ nature that no human agency can ___________ . Questions for Your Small Group 1. My________________ nature. Two Implications of This Fundamental Flaw A. B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 1 C. Understood.. P A G E 2 8 . What was the most impactful thing you heard today? Explain. How has this wound manifested itself in your life? 3. ________________________ my ________________________ is the essential “first step” to finding a real. left unaddressed. IV. authentic relationship with God (and not just more religion!). depravity means . I am ________________ from God and under His ___________________ . The _____________________________ requires a ____________________ only God can give. 2. 1. inevitably ________________ my life with sin. Did today’s message on fallen human nature ring true with you? Explain. 2. 3.

We are _______________________ to a corrupt nature. An Honest Confession B. Job 5:7 D. We are ________________________ to a life of futility. The Heart Wound defined: We are all _____________________ and _______________________ creatures. at ________________________ with our Creator and each other. Ephesians 2:12 (Living Bible) B. Ephesians 2:3 (Living Bible) Romans 3:10-12 II. A Second Look At This Wound A. Ecclesiastes 1:14 C. The Pain That Flows From This Wound A. We are __________________ to do evil. We are ________________________ from God. Galatians 5:19-21a (Living Bible) P A G E 2 9 . THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 2 I M P L I C AT I O N S O F T H E H E A R T W O U N D I.

or _____________________ . Depravity means most of my real problems are “_________________. John 3:7 4. Communities Given to This Wound A.” Genesis 3:9-13 3. self _______________________. Generally: 1. We must be _______________ from our depravity. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 2 III. Depravity cannot be eradicated by _____________________________. In the Old Testament Hosea 4:1-4a. Depravity can wear all kinds of sophisticated __________________ to hide itself: The ____________________ Mask The ____________________ Mask The ____________________ Mask The ____________________ Mask Matthew 23:25. a better _______________________. In Our Day IV. 2.” not “__________________________. 27 P A G E 3 0 . 9:9a B In the New Testament Romans 1:28-32 C. Depravity means we are all ___________________ by nature. The Implications of This Heart Wound Called “Depravity” A.

With which of the 3 specific masculine implications of depravity could you most identify? Explain. How have the last two sessions on this heart wound called depravity changed the way you see yourself? On the way you see life? Explain. 2. With which of the 7 general implications of depravity could you most identify? Explain. Depravity means men tend to get lost in their ___________________ and personal ________________________ and ignore __________________ for their lives. P A G E 3 1 . Ecclesiastes 2:4-11 Questions for Your Small Group 1. Proverbs 14:12 6. Depravity means men have a tendency to _______________ over women and children. Matthew 5:3 7. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 2 5. 2. _____________________ my depravity is the first step to finding a real relationship with God. Depravity means men have a natural tendency to avoid ______________ responsibility. Genesis 3:16 Ephesians 6:4 3. Specifically for Men: 1. 3. 1 Timothy 1:15 B. Depravity means we must not ____________________ ourselves alone. Progress in authentic manhood will parallel my growing _______________________ of the depth and extent of my depravity.

it is IMPERATIVE that you complete the “Looking Back”section that deals with “unpacking”the wounds in your life. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 3 THE GOOD NEWS SOLUTION TO THE HEART WOUND I. but something profound ___________ inwardly. so invite your friends. 3. From the Left . P A G E 3 2 . We have observed that men who work their plan make tremendous strides in their manhood and become all around better men! II. I didn’t __________________ at first outwardly. Two Important Reminders A. 2. but I knew I was _______________. Work the first section of your Manhood Plan! For Men’s FraternityTM to be a life-changing experience. you can also bring your teenage sons to the second half. I suggest you take a HALF DAY to do this and then begin implementing your plan as soon as possible.. NEW MEN who missed the first half are welcome to join the group when the second half begins.. Dads. I didn’t have __________________ . I didn’t ____________________ . B. This is the last session of the first half of Men’s FraternityTM. We strongly recommend that they be juniors or seniors in high school to appreciate the information they will be receiving. but what I had I put in ________________________. Two Perspectives A. My Story 1.

If you were to die tonight.‘You must be born again. Do you believe you have been born again? When? 3. but do not know where it comes from and where it is going... and said to Him. unless one is born of water and the Spirit. truly. 7): An ___________________________ Rebirth 3. 7Do not marvel that I said to you. I say to you. so is every one who is born of the Spirit. and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. “You”(vs. unless one is born again. we know that You have come from God as a teacher.” 3Jesus answered and said to him. named Nicodemus. “Truly.“Rabbi. 6That which is born of the flesh is flesh.“Are you the teacher of Israel. 2this man came to Him by night.“How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born. “How can these things be?” 10Jesus answered and said to him. From the Right . I say to you.“Truly. Old Saint Nic’s Story 1 Now there was a man of the Pharisees.” 9 Nicodemus answered and said to Him. he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. 5. truly. a ruler of the Jews. for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him. “Must” (vs. that you do not understand these things?” —John 3:5-10 1. 2. “Born of the Spirit”(vs. he cannot see the kingdom of God. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 3 B. Where are you in your spiritual journey? Explain. 8): A ___________________ Rebirth 2.” 4Nicodemus said to Him. can he?” —John 3:1-4 5 Jesus answered. are you confident you would go to Heaven? Why or why not? P A G E 3 3 . 7): A ____________________________ Rebirth Questions for Your Small Group 1.’ 8The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it.

A. 4. The first half of Men's Fraternity dealt with looking within. 3. Manhood is in a state of ___________________ today. The second half of Men's Fraternity is all about _____________ and looking forward... We spent the first semester of Men's Fraternity ____________________ wounded manhood: P A G E 3 4 . C. Presuppositions 1. There is no lofty ________________ of manhood that is compelling to men today. You will make new _________________. II. You will learn a new manhood _____________________. Picking Up Where We Left Off . B.Welcome! A... You will have a clear _________________ of manhood. You will make some significant personal_________________ about yourself. Promises 1. You will have a personalized __________________ for achieving authentic manhood. We will continue to work on our Manhood Plan. 2. 2. 5. and For You Newcomers . Welcome Back . B. A Review of Our Original Presuppositions and Promises A.. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 4 "SADDLE UP!" FOR THE SECOND HALF I. ___________________ men create major ________________. 4. The _________________ has insights and answers to all the above. 3. III. ___________________ men settle for less.. 5.

. He is __________ by these forces he doesn’t understand and refuses to examine. AS A YOUNG MAN .. There are two ways every man can choose to live with these wounds (A Review): 1. IN TIME . mundane. The ______________________ Wound 4.. Other STAGE 5 men seek to ___________ their pain with drugs.. Wealthy men often seek to ____________ their way out of their pain. As a man grows old. STAGE 1 His nature is _____________ and _______________..This approach to life creates _______________ for himself and for those around him.. The ______________________ Wound 3. Often he ___________ his woundedness as energy to fuel and excuse his own excessive or evil behaviors.centered. pornography. STAGE 6 selfish and wounded manhood __________.TV. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 4 1. bitter.. or reckless. He constructs his manhood from these ______ and STAGE 3 _________ perspectives. affairs. The ______________________ Wound 2. Circumstances and others are ________ STAGE 4 for his problems and failures. You can ______________________ in your woundedness: Every man begins life without ___________. AS A MAN . life becomes small (me). P A G E 3 5 . STAGE 2 Every man suffers ___________________ (small or large) growing up. The ______________________ Wound B. AS A SON . alcohol. Both continue to refuse to admit the truth about themselves. etc. sports.. empty.

. STAGE 5 to escape the pain As a man .. _________ responsibility for his life and problems... Constructs his STAGE 3 manhood around his selfishness and woundedness _____________ the truth about himself. ___________ his selfish. Suffers hurt Luke 15:12-24 of Manhood The Story Turns to faith in ____________ ____________ for help As a young man . Hardens in STAGE 6 this lifestyle P A G E 3 6 ... Health. with ________________: STAGE 1 Selfish nature Hope.. Happiness John 3:3 ________________ ________________ STAGE 2 As a son .. 5:17 Begins life .. _________over his losses in As a man . Seeks unhealthy ways life and poor choices. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 4 2. _________ blaming others. Driven by these forces godless nature. without God. You can be ____________________ from your woundedness: Pursues a new _________ 2 Cor. STAGE 4 As a man ....

Conclusion Questions for Your Small Group 1. 3. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 4 IV. Have you developed "a plan" for dealing with the wounds of your past in appropriate ways so you can move on from them? Is this strategy written out in your Manhood Plan? 2. What did you hear today that impacted you the most? Why? Explain. What is the “one thing”you are struggling with the most as a man and want answers to in this second half of Men’s FraternityTM? P A G E 3 7 .

“Subdue the earth" 3. ______________________ 1 2 3 ______________________ ______________________ II. Equally endowed / equally valuable 3. both in its original _______________________ and in its ongoing _____________________. It speaks of male and female _____________________. Unique and special B. C. “Be fruitful / multiply / fill the earth” 2. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 5 G E N E S I S A N D M A N H O O D. A real myth explains and measures our _____________________. Image 2. What Genesis 1 Says About Manhood A. Genesis describes our ancestral _______________________. It speaks of male and female _____________________. “Rule over the earth” P A G E 3 8 . P A R T 1 I. 1:28) 1. Myth is not synonymous with ______________________. 1:26. B. D. (Gen. The “myth”of Genesis explains and measures ____________________. (Gen. 27) 1. The Genesis “Myth” A.

2:18) Questions for Your Small Group 1. What was the most significant truth you heard today? 2. How did this session expand your understanding of Genesis? Of manhood? Be specific... 1:26-27.. What Genesis 2 Says About Manhood A... It “hints” at a very important social _________________. Notice . (Gen. (Gen. 2:16-17) D. a signal of his leadership over ____________. 3.. Notice .”a title that offers further evidence of God’s original core social identity for the man and the woman. How could this information from Genesis be used to begin formulating a definition of manhood? Explain. 2:15) C. 2:7) B. (Gen. (Gen. Adam is given an ___________________and __________________ before Eve’s creation. P A G E 3 9 . Notice .. Adam was created ______________________. Notice . (Gen. 2:19) E.. Notice . Adam is given a “_____________________.. Adam ____________ the animals. (Gen. Adam is instructed by God with the responsibility of _________________ with His _____________________. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 5 C. 5:2) III..

) P A G E 4 0 .. Adam’s curse is based on the ______________ of God’s original created order.. God holds ______________ . P A R T 2 I. (Gen. 3:8-9) C.. (Gen. (Gen. 3:17) (Eve's curse is also based on her usurping God’s created order. Adam __________________ his helper... II. Notice .. Notice .. (Gen. 3:11-12) D. It is the man who is told to leave and ____________________ a new household.. Notice . __________ a teaching of the Bible. (Gen... Notice . THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 6 G E N E S I S A N D M A N H O O D. 2:24) III. Adam’s sin has an unacceptable __________________ attached to it. accountable for this first sin. not the _____________ . Notice ... What Genesis 3 Says About Manhood A. (Gen. 3:1-6) B. Notice . 2:23) B. What Genesis 2 Says About Manhood (Continued from last week) A. The temptation seeks to _____________ and ______________ God’s original social and spiritual order. A Brief Review Male ___________________ is a personal moral ______________ .

Adam’s sin unleashes the destructive curse of male _______________________. 2:16-17) This judgment of __________________ also extends to all those who come after him... not Eve. (Gen. Notice . (Rom. (Gen. 3:20) Questions for Your Small Group 1. Adam _________________ his wife as a continued sign of his ______________ even after the fall. 5:19) He.. Notice . 3:16b) F. (Gen. When have you seen the sin of Adam’s passivity in your own life? Explain. 3. G... How does the Genesis story make you feel as a man? Explain. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 6 E. is ___________________ with the fall of the human race. Our natures are due to Adam’s sin. Adam dies. What sense of increased responsibility do you feel from the truths of Genesis? Explain. P A G E 4 1 . 2.. Notice .

Male leadership is ___________________ . P A R T 1 I. • Will to _______________________________ • Work to ______________________________ • Woman to ___________ and _______________ B. Male leadership is a result _______________ . (Gal. Final Thoughts From Genesis A. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ 2.. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 7 A B I B L I C A L D E F I N I T I O N O F M A N H O O D. The male leadership of Genesis is not natural. but ____________________ with specific _______________________________. Some Key Reminders 1. not a result of God’s design... • We see that in Scripture . _________.. Isaiah 3:1-12 • We see that today . Some Key Objections 1.. 2. not creational.. Men were created by God to be ________________ and _____________________________. 3:28) P A G E 4 2 . • When men abandon this pursuit or when this pursuit is taken away from them .

1. because all men are comprehended in them. human reason.. ___________________” 2. the old and the new . (Romans 5:17-19) C. • Set on a heavenly _____________________ • Yielded to ___________________ ... The first Adam represents a manhood . And in their actions and fates. The second Adam represents a manhood . —Theologian Hermann Ridderbos B.. and __________________ ... human _____________.. These men are leaders of two distinct __________________ destinies for all humanity. two creations.. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 7 II. or reaction • That _____________________ others • Full of _____________________ meaning • “A life-giving ___________________” P A G E 4 3 . lie the decisions for all who belong to them. not personal instinct. These men are also leaders of two distinct masculine ________________________... not _______________________! • That draws life from _______________________ • Without _______________________ meaning • A living ______________ “ . • Set on a natural _______________________ • Based on personal ___________. Adam and Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:45-49) Adam and Christ stand against each other as two great figures at the entrance of two worlds... Two Men/Two Masculine Identities A.

. ________________ rewards 4. Jesus’s Manhood Becomes . ________________ with other men 2. What a man ________________ 1. __________________________ 6. _____________________ _____________________ which focuses on: which focuses on: 1. ________________ with other men 3.. Real men . Four Defining Differences Between Adam and Christ A. Questions for Your Small Group 1. P A G E 4 4 . What a man ________________ 2.. ________________ power 3. 2. Philippians 2:6-8 B. the second Adam (Christ) _______________________. How these two masculine identities play out practically Adam’s Manhood Becomes . __________________________ 6.. ________________ rewards 5. ________________________________________________________. What was the most important thing you heard today? Explain.. Genesis 3:6 2. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 7 D. __________________________ 5. __________________________ III. ________________ purpose 4. 1. The first Adam fell into ________________. How does this discussion on the first and second Adam help you in seeing your masculinity more clearly? Explain..

for accepting these _________________________. P A R T 2 I. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 8 A B I B L I C A L D E F I N I T I O N O F M A N H O O D. A Brief Review A. the second Adam _______________________. especially by other men. the second Adam ___________________________. B. The first Adam fell into __________________. children) rests _____________________. Leadership Questionnaire II. • When he is _____________________. The first Adam disregarded his responsibilities. • When he has been trained from an early age by the men in his life to _______________ and ______________ these responsibilities. Manhood Plan Samples B. • When he has been spiritually transformed in the heart by Jesus Christ to ______________ these responsibilities in order to ___________ God. He accepted responsibility: • For a ______________ to obey • For a ______________ to do • For a ______________ to love 2. What causes a man to accept social and spiritual responsibility? • When it is clear from a young age that the primary responsibility for the social / spiritual well being of others (namely wife. 1. P A G E 4 5 . The Four Differences Between Adam and Christ A.

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 8 C. • Rejects _____________________ • Accepts _____________________ • Leads ______________________ • Expects the greater _________________ . Jesus led where Adam didn’t: • He set ____________________ • He provided ____________________ • He made ____________________ 3. 2. Go over the Leadership Questionnaire handout together. React to the definition of manhood Robert gave today. The first Adam abandoned his post of leadership. Men were created to ______________. 1. Examples of second Adam living: • Hebrews 12:1. but it takes _________________. the second Adam chose to _______________________. The first Adam sought a greater reward. So. the second Adam _____________________________. _______________ Questions for Your Small Group 1. Is it one you can adopt for your life? Why or why not? P A G E 4 6 . 2 (Jesus) • Psalm 27:13 (David) • Hebrews 11:24-26 (Moses) • 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (Paul) 2.. 2. every man must master one significant obstacle: _______________ D. 1. What is a Real Man Cut From a Biblical Mold? A real man is one who . To be a courageous leader.. Exhortations to second Adam living: • 1 Timothy 4:8 • Hebrews 11:6 III.

Providing for Yourself. How would you rate yourself regarding leadership using the following scales? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 I’m a passive. non-initiating person initiating person 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 I rarely model I regularly model biblical truth or biblical truth and desire to desire to Your Leadership at Home and With Others 2. Handling Money 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent b.Your Wife. and Children Materially? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent P A G E 4 7 . I’m an active. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 8 A LEADERSHIP QUESTIONNAIRE FOR YOU IN LIGHT OF ADAM AND CHRIST Your Leadership in General 1. How would you rate taking responsibility for your life (and family if applicable) in the following areas? a.

self-control. legal guardians. affirmation. prayer.) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent h.Your Wife. Ensuring She Has Equal Value in Your Marriage 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent g. and Children Emotionally (spending time. hugs. Giving Spiritual Direction and Vision to the Home 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent e. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 8 Your Leadership at Home and With Others. moral conviction. etc. etc. speaking words of encouragement. purity. stance against pornography. Honoring and Esteeming Your Wife. giving. a savings plan. debt. Modeling Biblical Values (faith. etc. Protecting Your Wife and Children Against the Future (through insurance. kisses. church attendance. etc. Bible study. romance.) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent P A G E 4 8 . an up-to-date will. use of alcohol. serving your church and community. Continued c.) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent f. various social issues. In Setting Practical Biblical Standards (what you watch on tv. Providing for Yourself.) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Poor Average Excellent d.

in an understanding way” = ____________________________ B.... and grant her honor” = ____________________________ C.. fellow heir in life” = ____________________________ II. “. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 9 A MAN AND HIS WIFE. The 50-50 _____________________ Marriage Galatians 3:28 • Husband’s Position: ____________________ God • Leadership Style: _____________________ • Goal in Mind: _______________________ Husband = Wife • Effects on Marriage: ___________________ C. 31 • Husband’s Position: ____________________ God • Leadership Style: _____________________ • Goal in Mind: _______________________ Husband Wife • Effects on Marriage: ___________________ P A G E 4 9 . A Key Verse for Husbands . The Top-Down__________________ Marriage Luke 22:25-26 God • Husband’s Position: ____________________ • Leadership Style: _____________________ Husband • Goal in Mind: _______________________ Wife • Effects on Marriage: ___________________ B... “. PART 1 I. 25. “. The Side-by-Side _________________ Marriage Ephesians 5:23. Three Models of Marriage A... or Future Husbands: 1 Peter 3:7 A.

What new insight did you gain in this session today? Explain. Core 2. How could you make your wife (or girlfriend) feel more valued and honored this week? Settle on one and go for it! P A G E 5 0 . A Closer Look at Biblical Marriage A. Core 3. The Bible Speaks to Core Issues: Definition of “CORE”= A _______________ but _____________________ of every marriage that must not be compromised. The husband as ______________________ (Luke 22:25-27) Head = _______________________ 2. 2. if a marriage is to ______________________ overall. Three Core Issues in Every Marriage: 1. Which of the three models of marriage are you currently pursuing with your wife? What would your wife say? Explain. B. neglected. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 1 9 III. A Brief Look at Core Roles 1. The wife as ________________________ (Titus 2:4-5) Helper = _____________________ Questions for Your Small Group 1. Core C. 3. or ignored.

.That _____________________ your mate’s role Honor & Praise Wife Husband Submission P A G E 5 1 . PART 2 I. Our Three Models of Marriage 1. Core Roles . A Brief Review A. Core Issues in the biblical Model of Marriage A. Side-by-Side II.That ________________ a husband and wife in marriage Wife / _______ Husband /_______ B. Core Responses . Our Key Verse: 1 Peter 3:7 B... THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 0 A MAN AND HIS WIFE. Top-Down 2. 50-50 3..

. It ___________ a man and a woman to complement each other rather than compete with each other. A Wife’s Core Concerns Explained (How a Husband Speaks “Woman”) IV.. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 0 C.That meet your mate’s deepest _________________ Honor & Praise Wife Husband Submission III. P A G E 5 2 . Core Concerns . It _______________ an environment that is_________ for the healthy development of children. C. B. It ________________ a man and a woman for what they naturally do best. Why We Need To Teach and Proclaim the Side-By-Side Biblical Model of Marriage A.

3. It becomes the _______________ we can train our children from an early age to embrace. Questions for Your Small Group 1. What ONE thing could you do to make ONE IMPROVEMENT this week? Share. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 0 D. 2. E. • Emotional Responsiveness … Score _______ Explain. How would you rate yourself in meeting your wife’s core needs (with “1”being “poor”and “10”being “great”)? • Companionship … Score _______ Explain. It ______________ God’s Word and is _____________ by Him. • Significance … Score _______ Explain. P A G E 5 3 . What was the most important thing you heard Robert say today? Explain. • Security … Score _______ Explain. F. It __________________ and ________________ society as a whole.

4. Wife Husband • A ______________ role of _________ • A ______________ role of _________ and ____________ and ____________ B. A servant-leader accepts _____________________________________________ for his family. A servant-leader discusses _______________________ responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are ___________________ distributed... Your Manhood Plan ( . Head = ______________________ III. Rocking the Roles (NavPress) C. Two ____________ with different __________________. A servant-leader is willing to say _________________ and _________________ to his family. the countdown is on!) II. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 1 25 WAYS TO BE A SERVANT-LEADER I. 2.. A servant-leader includes his wife in _______________________ the future. 25 Ways to Be a Servant-Leader 1. a brief review) A. 3. Marriage at the Core ( .. P A G E 5 4 .

A servant-leader ________________ meaningful family ________________________. P A G E 5 5 . which in turn gives them confidence with their peers. A servant-leader _______________________ with commitments he has made to his wife. 6. 13. A servant-leader ________________ with his wife on a regular basis. 9. A servant-leader provides ____________________ for his family’s basic__________________. A servant-leader _________________ the __________________ of the home and anticipates any pressure points. 8. 14. 12. 10. 15. 16. A servant-leader anticipates the _______________________________ his children will pass through. A servant-leader deals with ___________________ so he can _____________ with his wife and family. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 1 5. 17. A servant-leader ______________________________________ for the family on a regular basis. A servant-leader keeps his family ____________________ sound and out of harmful __________. 11. A servant-leader anticipates the different ___________________ his marriage will pass through. A servant-leader seeks the consultation of his wife on all ________________________ decisions. A servant-leader ______________ tells his wife what he ________________________. A servant-leader takes the time to give his children ___________________ about life. 7.

husband. A servant-leader explains ________ to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.” Which one or two ways stood out to you today as “Must Do’s” to improve your servant-leadership? Explain. A servant-leader ________________ his wife often in public. A servant-leader makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a ________________ and arranged a well-conceived plan for their _________________ in case of ___________. A servant-leader ________ a small group of men who are dedicated to _______________ their skills as a man. 24. 2. A servant-leader lets his wife and children into the _____________________of his life. 23. Which of these 25 would your wife say she needs most from you? Why? P A G E 5 6 . A servant-leader encourages his wife to __________ as an individual. 22. 19. Look back over the list of “25 Ways to be a Servant-Leader. What on this list of 25 do you feel most intimidated by? Why? 3. Questions for Your Small Group 1. biblically-supportable family ___________________. A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife sound. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 1 18. and father. 20. 25. 21. A servant-leader provides _________ for his wife to pursue her own personal _____________.

Memorable ceremonies involve __________________________. The _____________ = ____________________________ III. C. E. Memorable ceremonies empower ________________________. ____________________ Parenting B. Memorable ceremonies are ____________________________. Dad is Destiny II. The Three Ingredients of Strategic Fatherhood A. Three Types of Parenting 1. Memorable ceremonies ascribe __________________________. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 2 F AT H E R S A N D S O N S I. ____________________ Parenting 2. B. The _____________ = ____________________________ C. D. Memorable ceremonies employ __________________________. The Power of Dad A. The Power of Ceremony: 5 Characteristics A. P A G E 5 7 . ____________________ Parenting 3. The _____________ = ____________________________ B.

The “Knighthood Model” C. My Story B. The “Page” Ceremony of Puberty • Dobson Tapes • Manhood Definition • A Symbol of Remembrance • Ceremonial Prayer 2. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 2 IV. Ceremonies I Have Used A. The “Squire” Ceremony of Leaving Home • A Gathering of Dads • An Explanation of Our Crest • The Ceremonial Circle of Prayer with Families P A G E 5 8 . The Four Ceremonies 1.

3. Only 2 weeks until your Manhood Plan is due! P A G E 5 9 . 2.. Be _____________________ ! B. What could you do over this next year to initiate your son into manhood? Include this in your manhood plan! Remember .. How have you helped your son measure his progress to manhood? Explain. What was the most exciting thing you heard Robert say today? Explain. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 2 3. Every Son Needs to Be Initiated Into Manhood A. The “Knight” Ceremony of College Graduation • A Gathering of Men • Wise Words • The Ring and Commissioning into Manhood • The Welcome to the Roundtable 4. Your son will _____________________! Questions for Your Small Group 1. The “Oath”Ceremony of Marriage • The Rehearsal • The Challenge from Dads to a Lifetime of Courage • The Presentation of the Crest V.

.. 1. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 3 F AT H E R S A N D D A U G H T E R S NEXT WEEK … Your manhood plan is to be presented in your small group and turned in to your Men’s FraternityTM leader! I. OR . The challenge of a new supreme pursuit: _______________________ B. They often have a highly fulfilling ______________ with their husbands. B.. They develop personalities that are ____________ . If he’s not there . What Dad Contributes to His Daughters A. Establish. A __________________ IS ONE WHO . 2. What Can Dad Do for His Daughters? A. Practically. III.. Three Challenges for Daughters and the Introduction of the “New Womanhood” A. with his wife. The challenge of the rise of the _____________________________ II..... 3. and have difficulty in forming _____________ relationships with men. ______________. they become inappropriately __________ ___________ ____________. 1. 2. a clear definition of what it means to be a ________________. • Rejects _________________ • Nurtures the _______________ • Believes in _______________ • Expects __________________ P A G E 6 0 . They easily ___________________ to the opposite sex. If he’s there . The challenge of the decline of _____________________________ C. They are very secure in their___________________ as women.

C. 2. What is one action step you could take right now as a Dad with your daughter? Explain. React to Robert’s definition of “A Real Woman. Encourage and participate in ____________________ celebrating true femininity. 1. E. Support. At Puberty: 2. Marriage: Questions for Your Small Group 1. especially in their critical. D. _____________________ his daughters and stay involved in their lives on a personal level. honor and cheer for true _______________ in his wife and daughters. Whether you have daughters or not. Graduation from College: 4. formative years. what is the most important thing you heard Robert say about young women today? Explain. What longer-range steps could you include in your Manhood Plan? P A G E 6 1 .” How would you define a real woman? 3. Upon Leaving Home: 3. Help Mom _______________ with the children. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 3 B.

Ballantine Books.45 0 .65 17 . Daniel Levinson: Seasons of a Man’s Life.? 40 . The Four Seasons and Transitions 1. Winter P A G E 6 2 . Spring 2. Summer 3. An Overview: 60 . Seeing the Big Picture II. 1978 B. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 4 A MAN AND HIS LIFE JOURNEY I. Fall 4.22 __________________ .__________________ . The Life Cycle Map A.__________________ -__________________ C.

An Overview Zaken:The __________ Stage Ish:The __________ Stage Enosh:The __________ Stage Gibbor:The __________ Stage Zakar:The __________ Stage Adam:The __________ Stage _____________ _____________ _____________ _____________ _____________ _____________ P A G E 6 3 . NavPress. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 4 III. The Life Stages Map A. 1993 B. Robert Hicks: The Masculine Journey.

Deeper meaning b. The Creational Stage (0-20) a. Renewal or rut 5. Life in the fight 4. Special contributions c. or confusion and missed opportunity 2. Powerful re-evaluations b. The Phallic Stage (13-25) a. Sexual energy b. The Wounded Stage (40-50) a. Leaving a legacy P A G E 6 4 . Gifts and talents b. Strategic moves and mentoring 6. The Sage Stage (60+) a. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 4 C. Standard bearers b. The Warrior Stage (20-40) a. Acceptance and development. The Mature Stage (50-60) a. The drive to establish oneself b. The Six Life Stages 1. Mastery or enslavement 3.

Visit www. 4. P A G E 6 5 . What is the most exciting part of your plan? Explain. YOUR MANHOOD PLAN MAP Questions for Your Small Group 1. Be sure to turn in your Manhood Plan today.mensfraternity. Be sure it has your name on it. 3. What is the most significant part of your plan? Explain. Share Your Manhood Plans With One Another.com for future updates. 2. THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD S E S S I O N 2 4 IV.