http://www.churchprotect.

org/about/

About Church Protect

Our Mission:

Protecting, Equipping, and Supporting churches to prevent and report abuse

while meaningfully helping those who have been impacted by the trauma of
sexual abuse.

Church Protect began as a result of Jimmy finding out that his father, a former
minster, is a pedophile. God allowed Jimmy’s path to intersect with Jon Uhler
and a partnership was born. Jon has over 20 years of counseling experience
working as a clinical therapist, has worked extensively with survivors of child
sex abuse, and has over 10 years of experience working with sex offenders
who are in prison. Jimmy travels nationally, speaking at churches and other
organizations, training and equipping church leaders and professionals on
detection and prevention of abuse.

Jimmy is a full time minister and Jon has theological training as well, making
them a great team to help churches combat abuse. As both listen to countless
stories of brokenness, humiliation, and shattered innocence, they agree that it
is a sin to sit on the sidelines while millions of children are being sexually
abused and trafficked each year.

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For
it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret” (Ephesians
5:11-12 ESV).

Over 90% of pedophiles identify themselves as religious. This is a huge deal

for churches because religious people tend to go to church. In the words of a
pedophile, “Churches are the easiest places to offend.” Pedophilia is at
epidemic proportions in the church and, sadly, there are few resources for
church leaders to combat this plague. With 42 million survivors of child sex
abuse in the United States, it is nearly impossible to find a church that doesn’t
have victims of abuse. Sadly, most abuse remains undetected. Worse yet,
most alleged cases are not reported by church leaders to the authorities and
the majority of allegations are dismissed by leaders who don’t know how to
detect abuse.

Church Protect is a consulting ministry that offers the combined expertise and
experiences of Jon and Jimmy. No longer do church leaders have to guess how
to handle difficult situations involving young children who are sexualized in
their churches. It’s time we take a stand against abuse and shout, “ENOUGH!”

http://www.churchprotect.org/about/jimmy-hinton/

Jimmy Hinton

Jimmy Hinton grew up in Shanksville, PA just over a mile from where United

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93 went down on 9/11. He is a faithful husband, father of 3 beautiful children,
and a full time minister. In 2011, he discovered that his father was a pedophile
and that he had been for his entire adult life. Just as troubling to Jimmy was
the fact that, despite having two degrees and years of experience in ministry,
nothing and no one had prepared him for the impact this would have on his
family, community, and church. In fact, even though over 90% of pedophiles
identify themselves as religious, this is one topic churches remain the most
naïve about. Churches are inviting targets, yet many Christians don’t have a
clue that pedophiles are worshiping and easily offending among them. The lack
of educational and training materials for churches, and the endless number of
children being abused every day confirms this sad reality. Churches remain
vulnerable and children are still being abused by the millions.

Jimmy is uniquely qualified to help churches detect and prevent abuse. All
research to date has been done from the outside looking in. Researchers in the
field of child sexual abuse are not ministers, so they don’t know all of the
delicate intricacies of walking a church through the grief of abuse. Researchers
have not lived with pedophiles, so no part of their research is observable in the
pedophile’s real life, where abusers are finessing their way into bed with our
children. And researchers do not have close relationships with the abusers they
study, so very little information abusers give can ever be confirmed. Jimmy is a
researcher who ministers at a church, has lived with his pedophile father for 20
years, reported his own father to authorities, maintains close contact with his
incarcerated father and his father’s victims, and has focused his research on
specific tactics abusers use to easily gain access to children while covertly
gaining the blessing of adults. Jimmy’s presentations unlock the “magician’s
code” of pedophiles so that audience members can actually experience step-
by-step, in real time, how child abusers move a child from the parents’ arms
into the arms of the abuser. It is time to move away from the fact that abusers
are gaining access to our children and onto showing people exactly how they
are gaining access.

http://www.churchprotect.org/blog/

A Peek Behind the Catholic Veil in the Pennsylvania Sex Abuse Cover-
Up

March 9, 2016 Jon_Jimmy

Last week Pennsylvania was in the national spotlight for another big sex abuse
scandal. This time it involves over 50 Catholic priests and other leaders who
sexually abused hundreds of children in the Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown. The
investigation began 2 years ago in Johnstown, less than 20 miles from my
home. I am currently working my way through the Grand Jury’s 147 page
report, which I will post below. I highly recommend reading this report in its
entirety after reading my thoughts on how cover-ups of this magnitude still
happen regularly. But first, we need to remember that these are real victims
with real names, real families, and lasting struggles. Many of the hundreds of
victims in this report thought about or attempted suicide, and these hundreds
of victims only account for an 8-county radius around my home. This kind of
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abuse is going on every single day all over the country. There is an estimated
42 million living people just in the US who have suffered sexual assault by an
adult when they were a child. This 147 page report is significant.

The late Father Joseph Bender became angry with young boys who refused his
advances. “Bender would lash out in anger when the children rebuffed his
advances. In a particular incident Bender grabbed a boy by the neck and asked
‘don’t you love me anymore” when the child insisted on wearing underwear to
bed. . . The challenge after being Bender’s victims wasn’t to attempt to live
well, but to attempt to simply live.” One of Bender’s victims from the 70s
wrote an anonymous letter to Bishop Joseph Adamec in 1991 giving details of
forced foreplay, masturbation, and oral sex. The victim wrote, “Because I
respected his position, and feared the consequences of disobeying him, I would
remain silent. I would estimate that I was abused approximately one hundred
times.” That letter was stored along with scores of others in the secret archive
of the Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown.

As I read through this report about priests abusing in the name of God, forcing
8 year old children to perform oral sex on them hundreds of times, forcing
them to get drunk, anally raping them, and inflicting unfathomable mental
abuse on top of the sexual abuse, I get angry. But my anger is not only
reserved for the pedophiles who were relentless in their abuse of helpless
children. It’s also aimed at the deadbeat bishops and law enforcement officials
who knew about the abuse and chose to shuffle these pedophiles from church
to church while remaining silent. But my righteous anger doesn’t stop there.
While the Catholics get their share of justified finger pointing, they are not
alone–not by a long shot. We at Church Protect regularly hear stories about
churches of every stripe who chose to invite pedophiles into their ranks and
grant them access to children. In our experience, church leaders routinely
allow even convicted pedophiles to waltz back into their churches, “redeemed”
by the blood of the lamb and with very few restrictions. One desperate
message to me chronicled a group of elders who gave their blessing to a
convicted pedophile who had recently been released from prison. The
registered sex offender offered to house a struggling youth in his basement
under the guise of offering moral support and being a positive role model. Not
surprisingly, he attempted to rape the young church girl. Surely an attempted
rape of a young troubled youth from their church by a convicted child predator
would cause the elders to ban him from that congregation, right? Nope. The
girl was told to sit elsewhere if this man made her feel uncomfortable.

I would not experience daily anger if I didn’t daily hear these same stories time
and time again. My guess is that people reading this post are getting angry
that this kind of thing goes on in churches regularly. I also imagine that
anyone who actually takes the time to read the Grand Jury’s report will get
angry reading it. But here’s my question–why do people get angry at stories
about child predators but turn completely passive when actually interacting
with them in real life? All of a sudden we move from the facts of raping young
children to shoddy theologies of sin, grace, and assimilation. “Well, they seem
genuinely remorseful,” the argument goes, “so I’m sure they’ll never harm a
child again.” But they do. Again and again and again. Read the report. It’s full
3
of records of rehab, confessions, promises to change, victim blaming, and
minimizing the abuse. The sad thing is that it works and pedophiles know it.

In his book Child Sexual Abuse and the Churches, Patrick Parkinson has a short
but excellent section on repentance. Here’s what he says:
”Forgiveness can have little meaning if the offender has no intention of
stopping the abuse. . . In the area of child sexual abuse, repentance has often
been confused with remorse. Remorse is what happens in the back of a police
car. Repentance means taking full responsibility for the offending and walking
the painful road of lasting change. . . The offender may well feel devastated by
the prospect of losing these things. Such deep remorse may well be taken for
repentance, but the signs of true repentance are in deeds, not in tears. . . The
repentant offender ought to be willing to acknowledge to the police and the
courts that he has done wrong, that he has committed criminal offences of the
utmost gravity and deserves to be punished.”

Parkinson also argues that a repentant abuser will take every step to make
reparation. Just as we learned as children that an apology for a broken window
must be accompanied with an offer to pay for the window, so there must be
reparation as adults. The abuser will at very least voluntarily pay for
counseling bills of all of his or her victims. In more significant cases, Parkinson
rightly argues that the offender may have “to sell his house, or his car. It is
costly, but it is also just.” I have argued, and continue to argue, that a
repentant child molester will insist on being removed from the presence of
children precisely because they have proved time and time again that they
cannot be near children without fondling, massaging, raping, and performing
oral sex on them. This response does not mean that the church “has it out” for
pedophiles. Rather, they have the safety of children as their top priority. A
repentant offender will be more than happy to be part of a church with strong
accountability–where he or she is still free to worship with other adults and not
be near children.

But sadly, this biblical stance of repentance and accountability is viewed as

inhumane, cruel, and unjust. And so, like the Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown,
churches of all denominations in 2016 continue to mistake remorse for
repentance and they routinely let pedophiles join their worship, preach, lead
children’s programs, all while keeping their congregants in the dark about the
abuser’s past. So why do churches enable (and thereby bless) abuse to take
place in practice while condemning it in theory?

If we peel back the veil in the Pennsylvania Catholic abuse case, I believe we
would find two bishops who covered up the abuse not because they hate
children and like to know that they’re being abused, but because they mistook
remorse for repentance. In the report, they did confront accused clergy time
and time again. But every single time they allowed them to continue in
ministry. Why? Unfortunately, the power of persuasion by an offender is a
louder voice than the cries of abused children. The best leverage an abuser can
get (and they may even request it!) is face time with church authorities.
Abusers know how easy it is to use emotion to minimize abuse, explain details
away, rewrite children’s memories, and plead for mercy. And it works. This is
4
one reason we recommend churches never investigate allegations of abuse
themselves. Church leaders need to remove themselves from the abuser
emotionally and look at the facts. They need to listen to the cries of children
and vow to lay down their lives to protect them. They need to always report
allegations of abuse to authorities and not speak to the accused about it. Trust
us that you will always leave those meetings second guessing yourself, having
sympathy for the abuser, and wondering how such a good child could be so
mistaken as to what happened to them.

Church leaders have a very long way to go. Churches continue to be ripe for
abusers. The harvest is plentiful and the workers are naive. My prayer is that,
for the sake of our children, we wise up and learn from cases like the PA
Catholic scandal.

How Abusers Go Undetected

September 10, 2015 Jon_Jimmy

It’s been a long time since I’ve written. A lot has happened in 7 months. My
wife and I had our 3rd child in May and nine days after his birth my oldest
brother died very unexpectedly. Two days later I preached for my church then
we packed our family in the car, 11 day old baby in tow, and made our 12 hour
drive down south. The next day I preached my brother’s funeral. The past 6
months or so have been a complete grief-induced blur. Our family has been
rocked on so many levels, but we lean on God and we’ll prevail! Church Protect
is growing stronger each day, and we are blessed by the partnerships that are
forming nation-wide.

There has been a lot going on in the news lately, and it’s been interesting to
quietly watch people’s reactions. From Bill Cosby’s 50 accusers, to Jared
Fogle’s 14 known child victims, and the double whammy in the case of Joshua
Duggar, many people are starting to get the picture that abusers can be
anyone. None of these men are bumbling buffoons. To the contrary, they are
highly charismatic, intelligent, and socially skilled productive members of
society. But they each carry very dark secrets and all are highly skilled at
deception. And many people wonder how they can produce so many victims for
so long without getting caught.

“Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his

servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will
correspond to their deeds“ (2 Cor. 11:14-15 ESV)

As I travel to and interact with churches, I see just how strong the influence of
denial is. Almost always, suspicions of abuse are explained away. In fact, quite
often, children are being abused directly in front of adults. I hear it too often,
“If abuse was going on here, I’d be the first to know about it. . . ” Or, “We’ve
had abuse training so we know what to look for.” Take it from someone who
has firsthand experience living with an abuser–those statements assume way
too much. I could write volumes on the complexity of this subject. Instead, I

5
choose to demonstrate just how easy it is for all of these abusers to do what
they want, when they want, and to whom they want, all without your catching
on to them: VIDEO

Here’s the catch, and it’s an important catch–once you know how the
“magic” works, it becomes nearly impossible for someone to fool you
anymore. This, in essence, is the technique we at Church Protect have
developed. It’s what sets our training apart from any other training that’s out
there. If you want don’t want to be fooled by Apollo Robbins, you have to know
how to pickpocket successfully. Now you don’t have to be able to pickpocket
yourself, you just have to know every last intricate detail of how pickpockets
operate. You must be able to see the world as they see it, to see people in the
audience from their perspective. The same rule applies for pedophiles. Every
training on child abuse I’ve seen to date lists “red flag” behaviors for sex
offenders. Heck, I used to teach it. Let me demonstrate how I now know that
this method is grossly ineffective. Suppose I told you, prior to watching the
above video, that master pickpockets exhibit the following “red flag”
behaviors:

Talk fast
Are friendly but manipulative
Will likely walk among an audience and target one individual
Use misdirection to distract their victim
Touch their victim often as a method of distraction
Ask a lot of questions

Be honest, would you have still been fooled by his routine? How many of you,
even after watching the video several times, were able to identify when and
how he ditched the tie and vest and switched shirts? It’s not until you know
how he did it that you are able to identify when he did it. And once you learn
these techniques, your observational skills become keen and crisp. Our training
spoils the magic for pedophiles who regularly gain access to children by
teaching people how to spot their techniques, not simply their behaviors. We
essentially show people how the magic is performed. This is done through a
very powerful assessment tool that lets our audience get behind the eyes of a
pedophile. More will be published on this in the future, but we just wanted to
introduce the concept of what we believe will revolutionize abuse prevention in
the home and the church!

And as an aside, we are selling shirts for a limited time as a fundraiser. It has
our theme verse, “Love always protects,” as well as our name and cool logo.
Every dollar is going to produce powerful resources to help keep children safe
from abuse. If you’re interested, you can order a shirt right here!

Where Has Jimmy Been?

February 13, 2015 Jon_Jimmy

It has been a long time since I’ve graced my own website. There has been a lot
going on behind the scenes, from having sick kids to working on some huge
6
projects to still maintaining my full-time ministry where I preach. While I’ve
not been writing much here, I’ve been producing a lot of material behind the
scenes, and that takes a tremendous amount of time and energy. A few
months ago, I co-founded Church Protect, Inc., a non-profit organization
dedicated to offering churches resources that I wish were available at the time
I had to turn my own father in. My partner and I offer consultation for
churches who are navigating the turbulent waters of abuse within their
churches. In addition, we offer several different packages for seminars, and
this is where I’m most excited. We’re working on a Protection Plan that doesn’t
currently exist. My partner with Church Protect has thousands of hours
counseling sex offenders in state penitentiary. He also has decades of
experience counseling victims of sex abuse, so he has been on both sides of
the fence. He has seminary training. So, we believe we have the best fit for
making this meaningful ministry the best resource available that is specifically
for churches.

We are working on developing Church Protect’s website, and since we don’t

have money to hire a web designer (hint, hint, wink, wink), we are developing
our own website, too. I’m no web designer, so the amount of time being
pumped into this is painful (no pain, no gain, right?). It has a long way to go,
but we are confident that the end result will be invaluable. We are offering
online seminars at the same time that we do live seminars (select seminars
only), so that anyone anywhere can join us without having to travel to see us.
We are very excited about this option! It’s going to be impossible to manage 2
websites, so my blogs from this site will eventually be migrated over to
churchprotect.org. It will take time, but it will happen fairly soon.

Church Protect really started based solely on demand. Much to my surprise,

when I started this website last fall, I was receiving a super high volume of
requests to help churches walk through suspicions/allegations of abuse. That
spigot has not turned off. This is a vast problem within churches, no matter the
size. We began Church Protect, Inc. as a way for church leaders to reach out to
a minister who not only had to deal with allegations of abuse, but the abuser
was my own father. I had zero training and had to take a crash course on how
to help my congregation navigate this. Some of the questions I wrestled with
over the course of 2 or 3 days were–What are the legal implications? What are
mandated reporting laws and how do they apply to me? Will dad find out that
it was my mom and me who reported him? How do I tell my wife? How do I tell
my church? When do I tell them and how much do I reveal? How many victims
are there? Will I get fired? Will I have to move my family to another town? Will
people think that I knew about his abuse over the years but kept it quiet? Will
the media descend upon the church and my family? Will this be national news?
Will dad be arrested right away? How and when do I tell my family that dad is
a pedophile? How will my congregation be viewed in the public eye in our
community? What do we do if dad shows up to church after being turned in?
How do we find out who his victims are and how do we help them come to
grips with what has been done to them? Will the church, or should the church
provide counseling for victims? Where is God in the middle of this? How could
God let this evil go on for so many years? How did my family not see this? How
will I get up and preach on Sunday? (the abuse was disclosed to me on a
7
Friday). Will we be sued as a church? What do we do about a policy? Is this
really happening? Am I going to be OK? How will I provide healing for my
family and church when I don’t even know if I can get out of bed myself? Why?
Why? Why? Will our family fall apart?

It became apparent really quickly that (1) this is VERY common in churches
and (2) hardly anybody is talking about it. Within a month of my dad’s arrest, I
was immersed in books from the top professionals in this field. I literally
became an expert in the field of child sex abuse within months. My marriage
suffered tremendously. At one point my wife asked, “Why are you subjecting
yourself (and us) to this?” I wept. The only answer I could muster was,
“Because I have to know how I missed it.” She is gracious and as
understanding as I think she can be. Without her I would be lost. She is
amazingly supportive of this ministry.

I went into ministry because of my dad. As hard as this is to imagine, I am

preaching where he preached for 27 years. Every Sunday, my feet literally
stand on the same patch of carpet that his did when he preached. He was a
hero to me. And within seconds, everything I ever thought I knew about him
was instantly dismantled and I didn’t know why or how. Sadly, I’m not alone.
Without hesitation, it’s time we step up and do something about it. I speak,
consult, and train from expertise, but experience has become the greatest
instructor. And the teacher is brutal. I’ve never had a teacher who is more
unforgiving than Experience. And so, I pass that on to the many, many people
who are struggling to know how to detect and prevent abuse while keeping
their churches together. I couldn’t do it without the support of many of you. I
receive private messages of encouragement. You have no idea how far that
carries me. So, in a nutshell, that’s what I’ve been up to! Stay tuned for more.

http://www.churchprotect.org/where-has-jimmy-been/

Tips For Protecting Kids

December 17, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

It’s a question that all of us parents (should) want to know–How do I keep my

kids safe from predators? I get asked this question on a regular basis, and I’m
glad. The fact that parents and church leaders are asking means that they take
seriously the charge to protect the kids who are in their care. I wish I could say
that abuse in the church is rare. It is not. Not by a longshot. In my opinion, we
do not do nearly good enough a job preparing our church leaders on how to
handle this issue.

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus prepared his disciples by saying, “Behold, I am

sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and
innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16 ESV). What comes out of the Son of God’s
mouth next is riveting: flogging in the synagogues. Beatings. Hatred. Murder.
Fathers killing children. Children killing parents. Persecution. Fleeing. After 9
years of college and graduate school I can honestly say that there was nothing
even remotely similar to this in discussions meant to prepare us for ministry.
8
Sadly, these things are going on in our churches today, here in the USA. It is
out of my personal experience of living among a wolf that I share these tips for
protecting your children.

#1 Educate Kids–I understand the need to shield our children from certain
things. But keeping them completely sheltered is a mistake. And it’s costing
our kids big time. The number one thing we can do to help keep our kids safe
from predators is to teach them what abuse really is and how to say no. We
teach them fire safety and have firemen come to the schools. We do fire drills.
We teach them to cross the road safely. We do tornado drills in Pennsylvania,
for crying out loud! They learn the safest places to be in lightning storms. So
why are we not teaching them how to say “NO!” to a predator? My e-mail is
backed up with requests from people to speak with me about their children
being sexually abused. I’ve received dozens and dozens just in the past few
months, and these are all just within the Churches of Christ. Child molesters
will not mess with a child who they think is going to tell on them. So teach
your child to tell.

#2 Create Boundaries/Policies–It’s astounding how many churches,

schools, and daycares don’t have any written policies. These places are easy
targets because there are lots of children, accessibility is unrestricted,
accountability is non-existent, they are desperate for volunteers, most people
are automatically trusting, and many Christians are naïve. We have created the
perfect place for abusers and a nightmare of a place for children. My father
wrote me from prison before and said, “Churches and Christian daycares are
the easiest places to sexually offend children. It’s so easy to gain the trust of
people and they just hand you their kids.” If you want to see a discussion on
boundaries, see my articles on boundaries.

#3 Educate Adults–As I mentioned, we ministers are ill-equipped to detect,

prevent, report, and deal with the aftermath of abuse. This is not a knock on
our schools. I think of where I was prior to finding out that my own father was
an abuser–I didn’t want to believe that this went on in the church. But it does.
A lot. Paul says to expose the deeds of darkness, not to pretend that they
don’t exist or ignore them altogether. For every incident of abuse in the church
that I hear, I hear just as many incidents of cover-ups by church leaders. This
is not only illegal, it’s immoral. We’ve got to educate our adults on how to
detect abuse, how to prevent it, how to report it, and how to bring healing to
victims of abuse. Shame on the churches who cover it up and pretend like it
didn’t happen.

#4 Accept Reality–When we fail to accept the reality that some of the most
trusted, respected, productive people in our churches are perpetrators
themselves, we help them to multiply their victims, as I will demonstrate later.
I speak from experience. I never in a million years dreamed that my own
father, a minister himself, was capable of abusing children. It never crossed my
mind. He was one of my best friends. Maybe I didn’t want to believe it. But
worse, his crimes are crimes that are incredibly easy to hide. Gavin de Becker
once wrote, “The solution to sexual violence in America is not more
laws, more guns, more police, or more prisons. The solution to sexual
9
violence is acceptance of reality“ (quoted in foreword of Anna Salter’s
Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists, & Other Sex Offenders, pg. xi.)

#5 Keep Records and Do Something–In Carla van Dam’s The Socially

Skilled Child Molester, she talks about a “trail of slime” that molesters leave
behind. After someone is arrested, we can all recount things that didn’t “seem
right.” It’s amazing how many people have since told me how uncomfortable
they felt around my dad when he was with children. Yet nobody, including
myself, ever talked about it with anyone else. Van Dam recommends that, if
you see an adult interacting with children in an inappropriate way, you should
start talking to other parents and see if they have similar feelings. Then she
recommends documenting specific interactions. I’ve called police on several
occasions just to inform them of things that I’ve seen with individuals. Though
the acts were not illegal per se, the police have a running tab on certain
individuals. I reported one man to the police this summer and said, “This man
will have a rape victim very soon if he is not caught.” Sadly, my words turned
prophetic about a month ago. He is in jail for sexual assault.

Many people argue with me that abuse is not common in the Churches of
Christ. Spend one day facing my computer screen and read the daily e-mails I
get from victims just within the Churches of Christ. Your perspective will
quickly change. It is an epidemic. Here are just a few cases within the
Churches of Christ in the past few years:

December 16, 2014–Former preacher of Elm and Hudson Church of Christ in

OK, Tommy Lynn Bailey, 56, was arrested yesterday for having sex with a
minor beginning when she was 14 and lasting 7 years. She lived in his home
and was under his direct care. Bailey also worked at Open Arms Behavioral
Health counseling center in Lawton.

September 11, 2014–A 14 year old church member had her own 9/11 tragedy
when her preacher of Palisades Family Church of Christ, 55 year old Glenn
VanZandt, was caught by a cop in a vacant city park parking lot raping and
sodomizing the young girl. He had been doing this for months to this young
victim.

July 2012–At Pennsylvania Christian Camp at nearby Blue Knob State Park, a
Churches of Christ camp, a camp counselor forced 9 year old boys to get on all
fours and play a “whipping game,” where crying kids were forced to whip each
other while the counselor watched.

August 2011–On August 1st, 2011, I reported my father John Hinton, 62,
former preacher of Somerset Church of Christ to local authorities. He was
initially charged with 150 counts, including producing child pornography with
his victims, which were as young as 4 years old. He is currently serving a 30-
60 year sentence.

September 2011–86 year old long-time preacher Clarence Caldwell Arquitt, Jr.
is arrested and released on $30,000 bond for molesting and sodomizing a girl
over an 8 year period. She was 3 when the alleged abuse began and 11 when
10
it stopped. The abuse occurred at his homes in Wood Stock and Sandy Springs.
Arquitt helped found North Cobb Church of Christ in GA and is the founder and
initial director of Georgia School of Preaching and Biblical Studies. He has
preached at North Cobb Church of Christ, Olive Street Church of Christ,
Piedmont Church of Christ, and Wood Stock Church of Christ.

October 10, 2011–70 year old trusted church member Paul Buckman murders
my good friend Les Ferguson, Jr.’s wife, Karen, and 21 year old disabled son,
Cole, after raping and sodomizing Cole for a period of months. Les was the
preacher at Orange Grove Church of Christ in Gulfport, MS at the time. Karen
and Cole were murdered while Les was at a preacher’s meeting. It was their
24th wedding anniversary that day, and exactly 1 year later to the day, my son
Cameron was born.

November 12, 2010–Matthew Jordan, 51, was fired from Center Road Church
of Christ in Saginaw, MI in January 2010 for “performance issues.” In
November, family members tipped police off that Jordan may have sexually
abused a 12 year old boy from his church. Jordan pleaded guilty and
investigators recovered pictures and videos of Jordan sexually molesting the
boy in the basement of Jordan’s home. Jordan was convicted in TN in 1987
with assault with intent to commit rape of a minor. Yet, he freely traveled
around preaching in our churches, free to abuse more children.

2010–Skillman Church of Christ near Dallas, TX hires then 50 year old

registered sex offender and person from America’s Most Wanted, Chuck Adair
as to oversee a prison ministry and as leader of ministry and coordination.
Adair still serves today as one of their ministers. Adair had an affair with a
college girl years ago, has moved from youth ministry position to other youth
ministry positions. And in 1992, he landed a job as a youth minister at Golf
Course Road Church of Christ in Midland, TX, where he began a sexual
relationship with a 13 year old girl who would roller blade over to his house for
“counseling.” Adair married that same girl from prison the day after her 18th
birthday. They divorced 2 years later and Adair is now married for the 3rd
time. Adair has his supporters, like long-time church member Billy Faye Curtis,
who said in an interview, “The girls would just throw themselves in his lap,”
she said. “They loved him so much.” Others aren’t as convinced, like former
church member Robin Kintz who said as a teen, Adair named her breasts, “Bip”
and “Bop.” The article says of Adair’s current elders: “Dishman said elders
haven’t restricted Adair because he limits himself.” Adair said he also abides by
the church’s policy and sets his own boundaries. This isn’t too reassuring to
me, since previous church leaders asked him to set boundaries, to which Adair
reflected, “I set some, then violated them.”

July 2005–Then 55 year old Dr. Bert Thompson was fired from Apologetics
Press for inappropriate sexual misconduct with several minor boys. Several
victims came forward only to be met by church leaders who opted to protect
Thompson’s “good” name. Sadly, there was a trail of slime that was blatantly
obvious and could have prevented Thompson from rubbing his grimy fingers on
more victims. A year and a half prior Thompson stood before a grand jury for
allegations of sex with a 17 year old boy. “We had information about the
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allegations,” said Ted Norton, an Eastern Meadows elder. “We were not in a
position to know whether they were true or not. We as individuals had our own
personal feelings, but we did not have evidence so to speak.” Well, now we do.

I could go on and on. These are just ones that I found in the matter of a few
minutes. There are more. . . many more. And these are just the ones involving
people who got caught. I’ve worked with at least a dozen Churches of Christ
where there are known incidents of abuse going on in the church and churches
are either covering it up, or the perpetrators’ attorneys are able to find loop
holes and get their clients off. In one case, an adolescent raped a very young
boy in the church building. There was plenty of evidence (including blood and
semen). There was a plea deal and that perpetrator still attends the church,
minus any charges.

It is vital that we work together to protect our children. Their lives and souls
depend on it.

Some Good News About Abuse!!

October 21, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

It’s so easy to get discouraged. All you have to do is turn on the local news or
read a local paper. Even in our little town, stories of abuse abound. . . . and
abound, and abound even more. Every few weeks, a name appears who I
know personally. Here’s the bad news–these stories that appear on the news
every day only include the abusers who got caught. For every abuser who
appears in the paper, there are 10 more out there abusing scores of children
unhindered.

OK, enough of the depressing news. The great news is that more and more
survivors of abuse are being empowered to speak out and find healing, thanks
to some wonderful people with huge hearts. And I predict this pattern is going
to continue to emerge. There is strength in numbers, and more and more
survivors are fed up with living in the shadows of their abusers. There are
ministries being born out of conviction. I’m happy to see the work that my
friend Angela Williams is doing over at Voice Today. As a survivor of child sex
abuse herself, Angela has courageously placed herself in a vulnerable position
to help others heal from their abuse while training others to prevent abuse.

James 1:12 (ESV) says, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial,
for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has
promised to those who love him.” I don’t say this lightly–anyone who is in the
fight against Satan’s attack on the human soul will come under trial. Satan
does not like healing and will do everything to discourage and deceive. I am
proud that Angela and many other friends are fighting this fight along side us,
in spite of the trials.

My good friend Les Ferguson, Jr. is another one of those faithfully fighting this
battle. Les will be keynoting Angela’s Standing In the Gap Prayer Breakfast on
November 1st in Marietta, GA. If you have not heard his story, you need to.
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Les is such an encouragement to so many. Please consider being a part of this
event, whether you are able to attend or not. Angela will have survivors telling
their stories of healing. There will be prayer, tears, and a lot of love at this
event.

Dr. Bruce Wilkinson (Prayer of Jabez) will be speaking in the evening at Emory
University. Please consider supporting this wonderful effort and be encouraged
that more and more people are joining forces to combat and prevent abuse!

Preventing Abuse: There Are No Monsters

September 9, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

I’m working my way through Gavin De Becker’s excellent book, The Gift of
Fear. De Becker works with the highest ranking government officials, including
presidents, to assess risk of violent behavior. He created the MOSAIC Threat
Assessment Systems, which is still used by the CIA, high profile public figures,
and the public. Though De Becker specializes in predicting violent behavior,
many of the principles should be applied to predicting child sexual abuse.

My experience working with churches tells me that they are generally way too
trusting of everyone. The majority of church leaders I speak with equate
kindness with morality and trustworthiness, they have a high level of naivety
when it comes to protection of children, they are oftentimes strongly resistant
to making drastic policy changes that include background checks on all
volunteers and accountability for volunteers working with children, and they
believe that they would be able to detect an abuser if he was among them. Put
another way, they believe that abusers look like monsters and therefore are
easy to spot. I might add that this is not a problem that’s isolated with
churches. Daycares, schools, camps, and people employing babysitters are just
as trusting of individuals.

But, as De Becker rightly observes, it’s precisely because we are looking for
monsters that we are such good targets. In fact, abusers are not monsters at
all. They are people like you and I. They look like us, talk like us, dress like us,
work like us, pray like us, and are likely some of our best friends or family
members. Because we don’t want to believe that people we personally know
are capable of such crimes, we hear things in the news like, “He was such a
nice man. I still don’t believe he was capable of doing such bad things. He
must have just snapped.” De Becker’s point is that, simply because we
ourselves wouldn’t commit a certain crime, we don’t want to fathom that our
close friends would either. He says:
”Every day people engaged in the clever defiance of their own intuition
become, in midthought, victims of violence and accidents. So when we wonder
why we are victims so often, the answer is clear: It is because we are so good
at it. A woman could offer no greater cooperation to her soon-to-be attacker
than to spend her time telling herself, “But he seems like such a nice man” (De
Becker, 30).

Point well taken. It’s so important for us to realize that real crimes are
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committed by real people who don’t necessarily look like whack-jobs. De
Becker adds:

”So, even in a gathering of aberrant murderers there is something of you and

me. When we accept this, we are more likely to recognize the rapist who tries
to con his way into our home, the child molester who applies to be a baby-
sitter, the spousal killer at the office, the assassin in the crowd. When we
accept that violence is committed by people who look and act like people, we
silence the voice of denial, the voice that whispers, “This guy doesn’t look like
a killer” (De Becker, 46).

He recommends doing the exact opposite of what we are doing every day–we
need to observe behaviors, not personalities. Crimes are never created out of
thin air. People don’t just “snap.” There are always behavioral indicators prior
to acting out. This applies to murderers and it applies to child molesters. We
need to be more observant of behavioral patterns that indicate problems and
malevolence. I recently had a person give me a laundry list of red flag
behavioral issues with a man at church–he’s giving gifts to young kids, he
offers to baby sit, he takes particular interest in certain kids, he tries to isolate
them by offering rides, he invites them to his house, etc. I explained that he is
very high risk and should be removed from activities which include children, to
which this person replied, “But he’s so nice and is highly respected by
everyone.” My response was, “So what?”

So many of us fall into the trap of believing that abusers look like monsters,
that we don’t even want to entertain the possibility of abuse and so our
interpretation of certain behaviors becomes tainted. Consider the questions we
ask the applicant for the baby sitting job or the Youth Leader position at
church–Are you good with children? What are your strengths? What is your
experience working with kids in the past? These questions tell us nothing of
their behaviors with children. Nor do they put a would-be abuser on the spot
so that we can observe their mannerisms in real time. Should we not be asking
questions like, “Do you have any sexual attraction to children? Have you ever
physically touched a child inappropriately or thought about doing so? Have you
ever viewed child pornography? What would you do if you felt a child was
soliciting sex?, etc. We can learn a lot about a person by asking the right
questions. A 3 second pause or a shift in the chair can reveal a lot of
information. But rare is it that I speak to people who are asking these kinds of
questions. We’ve got to do a much better job at prediction and prevention of
abuse.

If you don’t believe me, take it from an abuser himself. I recently visited my
dad in prison and he had this to say, “Two things shocked me each and every
time I abused a victim–How easy it was to get a child to act out sexually and
how easy it was to get away with it.” He is absolutely right, to our shame.

I Teach My Kids to Hate (And You Should Too)

July 29, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

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The Bible, through the words of Jesus, instructs us to love our enemies
(Matthew 5:44). If your enemy is hungry, we are told to feed him. If he is
thirsty, we should give him drink (Romans 12:20). Point well taken. But the
Bible also gives us another vital instruction. It’s one that we don’t take
seriously enough, in my opinion. We don’t even like the word. Yes it’s true; we
are told to hate. We’re not instructed to hate people, but to hate what is evil.
Romans 12:9 (NIV) says, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to
what is good.” This particular word for hate appears only here in all of the
Bible. It is the strongest word for hate. It literally means “to have a vehement
dislike for something.” It is likened to a state of rage. In contrast, we are to
“cling” to what is good. That word means something like “being glued to; to be
inseparable.”

Do we have a vehement hatred for evil? I mean, really–does the thought of

evil make us rage inside? I’m not so convinced that it does. Neither am I
convinced that we’re teaching our kids to hate evil. Let me give a little
backdrop for why I hate evil. When I read story after endless story of abuse,
especially abuse of children, something snaps inside of me. After hearing
stories of shame, humiliation, and torture, Evil is no longer an abstract
concept. It becomes personal. Extremely personal. People sometimes ask me,
“Why do you subject yourself to all these stories of abuse and surround
yourself with people who have been abused?” My answer is, “Why do you not?”
Avoidance makes abuse no less real to the people it’s actually happening to.
The vast majority of people in our nation choose to ignore this evil, and so it
continues.

In my frequent travels, I hear lots of gut-wrenching stories of young children

being sexualized and used for pervert predators’ own little sex experiments.
Let me be clear–this is not an “attraction” or “addiction.” It is evil. Pure
wickedness. Attraction means exactly that–someone is attracted, for whatever
reason (I’m not arguing causality here), to children. Attraction turns evil when
there is intent to act out. The word “addiction” does not properly explain child
molestation either. There is a vast difference between addiction and abuse.
Addiction is a craving for something. Abuse is a craving to act out on someone.
Children are not drugs. They are humans. They have a soul. They are precious.
When they are used, manipulated, sexualized, tortured, emotionally screwed
with, brought to orgasm, forced to perform sex acts on adults, and thrown out,
we cannot ethically say, “Boy, Eric was addicted to Jennifer.” Let’s not cheapen
the child by referring to molestation as an “addiction.” Acting out on a child is
always evil because every time molestation happens, an innocent child is
harmed.

I am very cautiously optimistic about the epidemic of child sex abuse. The
optimistic part comes from shaking hands with people like myself who are
speaking out against abuse on a national (and some an international) level.
Many people are listening and are willing to take strong measures to prevent
abuse. This is commendable and hopeful. The very cautiously part comes from
my experience speaking at churches. Church leaders are generally still naïve
and are way too willing to give people the benefit of doubt. This reduces the
likelihood of church leaders reporting suspected abuse in a timely manner. In
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fact, I’ve witnessed on several occasions strong resistance by church leaders to
report alleged abusers because “they just don’t seem like the kind of guy who
would do something like that.” I often tell people who respond this way not to
confuse their desire for people to be pure and innocent with them actually
being pure and innocent. I could wish all day long that my own father had not
committed atrocities against multiple children. But that doesn’t change the fact
that he actually did. We’ve got to stop pretending like evil is not around us. We
can’t cower in fear, either.

Ephesians 5:11 says, “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but
instead expose them.” And so we unapologetically expose the works of
darkness and shed light on the people who are abusing children in the dark.
But more than exposing this darkness, we hate the evil. And we should have
no embarrassment or apology for teaching our children to hate what is evil and
cling to what is good. Let’s start raising up the next generation to be kind,
loving, and opposed to evil.

Tenancingo: Home Grown Sexual Abusers

July 2, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

Trucking had always been a dream of mine. I’ve always liked operating heavy
machinery and traveling, so trucking was a natural fit. I drove truck coast to
coast for one year in between college and seminary, while I was still single. My
first time across the Rockies was in a bad snow storm. Dropping down a hill in
a semi truck from 11,000 feet when it’s hammering snow is quite an
experience! What makes it more adventurous is looking down and seeing other
tractor trailers that have careened off the interstate to the bottom of ravines
from years past. It’s an eerie feeling to see multiple unrecovered trucks at the
bottom of a mountain. Once a truck has fallen so far, it’s impossible to tow it
back up to the top of a mountain, so many of them end up being left there
permanently.

I believe evil is the same way. Once someone has fallen so far down, it
becomes impossible to tow them back to the top. I had a Bible professor who
has another helpful analogy called the “chained dog” theory. Evil is like a dog
that’s chained up. It has boundaries set by God. Evil still exists, but the chain
restricts evil’s reach. We can either stay outside of evil’s reach, or we can taunt
it and risk it latching on to us and dragging us deeper into its territory. Have
any of you ever been to a place that is so dark, you can “feel” the evil?

God warned the Israelites, “But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him
faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.
Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will be swept
away” (1 Samuel 12:24-25 NIV). Romans 12:21 says, “Do not be overcome
with evil, but overcome evil with good.” The Bible mentions evil and its
variants (evils, evildoer, etc.) just shy of 500 times. There is a consistent
message throughout the Bible that many Christians deny. . . there is a level of
evil that creates a suction point, a trap, a point of no return.

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The small town of Tenancingo, Mexico is one of these places. It is the breeding
ground for a major pedophile ring and sex trafficking to the United States.
Young children are saying that they want to be like their dads and sell women
for sex. There is no remorse, and darkness plagues the town. Psychologists are
divided on what “makes” a perpetrator act out on very young children. Is it
psychological factors, environmental, genetic, addictions to pornography, etc.?
To be fair, nobody really knows for sure. If we are honest, we would admit that
there are many hidden factors, both in the brain and in the home, that we will
probably never figure out as far as causality. But one thing we can probably all
agree on is that perpetrators who sexually act out on children are committing
an evil. And once you begin messing with the dog, eventually it’s going to bite.
And in Tenancingo, the dog has claimed its territory and is dragging people all
over the place. I highly recommend watching this documentary on
Tanancingo’s trafficking of sex slaves to the US. It is worth every minute.
****WARNING: We need people to watch this and raise awareness that this
stuff happens all the time**** VIDEO

So what’s my point? Or rather, what’s God’s point? At the top of the list,
remember the old saying, “If you play with fire you’re bound to get burned?”
Well, if you play with evil, you’re bound to get bit. According to Scripture,
we’ve all done evil. But it’s the perpetual toying with it that leads to the point
of no return. There is, however, great news in all of this. For those who
struggle with pedophilic thoughts at a younger age, rehabilitation is quite
successful. I’d encourage parents who have allegations come against their
children to not be so quick to defend them. Rather, get them the help they
need.

I’ve received several phone calls with similar scenarios–a 13-15 year old boy
was inappropriately saying things, doing things, or was infatuated with young
children. And in all the cases (so far), the parents or guardians defended the
perpetrator, not the alleged victims. Folks, if you see your child getting too
close to a chained dog, don’t tell everyone else to buzz off. Help pull your child
from that evil. Seek professional guidance from a sex-specific therapist. Help
your child get out before it is too late. The more children learn to keep this a
secret, the more they will be emboldened to act out. Help them get out. Help
them find a way to deal with their attraction and aggression toward younger
children. Love does not defend evil. It helps pull people from it before they
become so debased that they cannot stop.

Child Sex Trafficking In the Church

June 4, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

Amber Lyon did a great documentary a few years back called Child Sex
Trafficking on the Internet–“Selling the Girl Next Door.” Take time to watch it.
This is a must watch. She talks firsthand with the Johns who were caught
buying underage girls for sex. She also speaks with young girls being
trafficked. Underage girls are being sold for sex every day by the thousands on
backpage.com. I’ve checked out backpage.com myself and there is no hiding
it. It took me less than 30 seconds to find hundreds of young girls for sale.
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The internet has accelerated the sex slave industry in more than a few ways.
First of all, instant accessibility to thousands of children being sold online has
made it too easy for predators to offend. In the documentary, Amber posted a
picture of her in her 2 piece when she was 14 along with an ad for sex. Within
4 minutes of posting the ad she began getting bombarded with calls from men
wanting sex, knowing she was (though only posing as) underage. Second,
social networking has provided unlimited access of public pictures of young
children, allowing predators to troll for the children of their choice so that they
can feed their fantasy. See my Facebook: Playground for Pedophiles to see how
prevalent this is. Finally, the internet provides an “escape,” a place where
people can hide dirty little secrets and remain completely anonymous.

In Amber’s documentary, you’ll find what should be common sense to us all–

prostitutes don’t enjoy doing what they do! As she interviews hookers at the
Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada, it becomes apparent through the
tears that it’s a less than desirable “job.” As one prostitute weeps, she recounts
her childhood molestation, “Virginity wasn’t an option where I came from. It
was taken from me. When you get in the game and someone wants to sleep
with you for money, and you’ve already lost your virginity, it’s like, ‘Why not?.
. . Why not?’. . . . . Sex is not as sacred as it once was.” Dennis Hof, owner of
the brothel, tells Amber why pimps seek young children to be trafficked–
“They’re easily manipulated.” I interviewed former porn star Crissy Moran last
year and asked her if she believed that the statistics are true that up to 90% of
women in the sex industry have been sexually abused as children. Crissy said,
“I definitely believe it’s true. The women in this industry are very broken.”
Crissy herself had been sexually abused multiple times as a very young child.
Living in a Christian home, virginity was idolized. When that was taken from
Crissy at a young age, she too thought this of the idea of selling her body for
money–“Why not?”

The maddening thing for me is that many of (if not the majority of) these
women who were sexually abused as children were abused by trusted church
members. This makes church one of the largest sex trafficking vehicles in the
country. You may think I’m exaggerating, but everywhere I travel I’m told
countless stories from survivors whose virginity was stolen from them at a
young, young age. Heck, I don’t even have to travel to hear stories of sex
abuse in the church. Several of my friends locally tell me story after story of
sex abuse that has happened in their churches. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not
trying to make people fearful of churches or paint the idea that Christians are
creeps. I’m a minister myself and I believe it’s the faith community that should
be stepping up to turn this problem around. But to live in denial is the best
way to ensure that the church’s trafficking of children continues. I can’t
emphasize enough how prevalent abuse is in the church. And believe
me, it’s not just Catholics.

I hope that I can shed a light on this atrocious evil that is being done in secret
in the name of God. It’s not funny. It’s not something that happens every once
in a while. It’s not something to take lightly. I leave in 2 days to conduct a
seminar on abuse at a church in Michigan. I’ve already heard stories of
saddening abuse from people who will be there and I will hear several more
18
from people in my audience. It happens everywhere I speak. It is our job as
Christians to “have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but
rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient
do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light
that makes everything visible” (Ephesians 5:11-14 NIV). Folks, it’s time we get
out the spotlights! Tell your church leaders that this problem is real, that it
happens all the time, and that we won’t stand for the church being silent on
the sex trafficking of our young children.

Be sure to check out Amber’s video: VIDEO

Why You Shouldn’t Hire a “Mitter” (Male Baby Sitter)

May 13, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

Last week Lynn Perkins, CEO and co-founder of UrbanSitter.com, wrote a

Huffington Post article titled Why You Shouldn’t Overlook Hiring a Male
Babysitter. In the article, she lays out 3 reasons why parents should consider
hiring a “mitter.” They are:
#1: It brings diversity to your child’s life and allows you to do your part to
break down gender biases.
#2: They bring a different style of play.
#3: It’s an opportunity to provide your kids with a valuable male role model.

It didn’t take long for other articles to surface, praising this move to hire
“mitters” and “mannies.” The push to hire the “manny” (male nanny) has been
popularized in New York City. There is an increased demand in male sitters and
nannies, and this is for a number of reasons. As I skim articles and comments,
there seems to be a demand primarily because people don’t want to be labeled
“sexist.” In fact, Perkins’ first reason to hire a “mitter” is that “it brings
diversity to your child’s life and allows you to do your part to break down
gender biases.” Allows you to do your part to break down gender biases? This
very statement shows that we have lost the ability to look at differences
between men and women objectively. Do we really need to hire a male baby
sitter to “do our part” in breaking down the biases? If we objectively look at
men and women who sexually abuse children, the facts themselves produce
biases. Listen to what the famed Corey and Steve Jensen have to say:
”The FBI estimates that there is a sex offender living in every square mile of
the United States. One in ten men has molested children. Most child molesters
are able to molest dozens of children before they are caught and have a three
percent (3%) chance of being apprehended for their crimes. Boys and girls are
at nearly equal risk to be abused and almost a quarter will be molested
sometime before their 18th birthday. Fewer than five percent (5%) will tell
anyone.”1

I offer 3 reasons why people should not hire “mitters”:

#1 Men are far more likely to sexually abuse children than women
It sounds sexist, I know. But the facts speak louder than our self-righteous
need to not sound like a misandrist. Estimates vary. Anywhere from 1 in 10 to
1 in 20 men have sexually abused children. In contrast, 1 in 3,300 women has
19
sexually abused children (Abel & Harlow, The Stop Child Molestation Book,
2001, pg. 23). It is common knowledge that a person is far more likely to die
in a car than in an airplane. We don’t cry foul at this finding because statistics
prove it. Statistics should speak louder than our agendas. Statistically
speaking, your child is far more likely to be abused by a male than a female.
That does not mean that all males are sex offenders, or that women will never
sexually abuse a child. It simply means that hiring a man puts your children at
far greater risk of being abused.

#2 Background checks and trust make your family a prime target for
sex offenders
The vast majority of sex offenders have never had any previous criminal
background, making background checks a source of false security. I’ve read
blog after blog and comment after comment touting “mitters” as something
great–as long as you trust the person taking care of your kids. It is precisely
because of trust that child abusers are empowered to abuse. When we
completely trust people, our guards go down. My dad, who is currently serving
a life sentence for child molestation, was a “manny.” I can tell you firsthand
that he was the guy EVERYONE trusted. He passed background checks. He had
glowing letters of recommendation. He was not socially awkward. Kids loved
being around him. He was fun, kind, and caring. In short, he was the ideal guy
to hire to watch your kids! But there’s something else we need to be aware of.
Pedophiles who want to offend children will find opportunities to win the trust
of others and gain access to children.

#3 Pedophiles find the path of least resistance

With the surge in “mitters” and “mannies,” pedophiles see an opportunity to
gain access to children. How great is it for the offender to know that people are
actively searching for male sitters? While I agree that men need to play an
important role in children’s lives, I don’t think that person should be a hired
baby sitter who has unlimited access to our children. The statistics are just too
grim to open up that door. There is only a 3% chance of a child molester
getting caught for any 1 instance of abuse, less than 5% of children ever tell
when they are abused, and 1 in 10 to 1 in 20 men have molested a child.

These are reason enough not to hire a male sitter. You can argue that this will
“ruin it” for the men who are not child molesters (and I don’t doubt that there
are plenty of sitters who are not molesters). But, frankly, I’d rather ruin it for
them than ruin something far worse for my children. Losing an opportunity for
a job is not quite as devastating as a child losing his innocence to a predator.

White Out Child Sex Abuse

April 28, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve been traveling and speaking quite a bit
and just didn’t make the time to write. One thing that people ask a lot is,
“What can I do right now to help?” The topic of abuse is so overwhelming but I
never want to give the impression that people have to have a Ph.D in order to
combat abuse. In fact, as I travel some of the biggest shakers who are
20
effecting change are people who simply show up and say, “ENOUGH!” I
recently had a chimney fire and had to call 911. The firemen were at the house
in less than 5 minutes. It took about an hour to put the fire out, but they were
amazing and kept my family and house safe. I didn’t grill them about their
level of education, or even their amount of experience. The reality is, I dialed
911 in a time of desperation and only the volunteers who showed up at
my house could have put the fire out. Had nobody showed up when I
called? According to the police sergeant, we would have found out the hard
way 4 hours later.

One year ago I never would have dreamed that I’d be writing and traveling the
country to speak on child abuse. How did this happen? It began in my own
local community, simply by showing up. My story began when I decided to
host a workshop at my local church in February 2013 and speak out against
abuse. The whole community was invited and about 30 showed up. When
people saw that I was serious about preventing abuse, things began to morph
quickly.

I believe that the same can happen with you. It took a team of firemen to put
my chimney fire out. But it took something more–it took them showing up
to my house! We cannot prevent abuse if people are not willing to show up.
42 million people are survivors of child sex abuse in the US alone. In a world
that makes sense, this is not acceptable.

So what can everyone who is reading this do right here and right now? It’s
simple, actually. You can begin by joining my friend Angela Williams and
pledging to join the event White Out Child Sex Abuse. You can print out flyers
and let your community know. After signing the pledge, you agree to wear
white on April 30th “TO STAND IN SOLIDARITY FOR THE INNOCENCE OF A
CHILD AND A WOUNDED SURVIVOR.” You can also sign the Pledge To Protect,
pledging to support your local community’s efforts to end child sex abuse,
monitor one-on-one activity between adults or older youths and children,
intervene and report suspected abuse, and get educated on how to predict and
prevent child sexual abuse.

When someone dials “911,” be the hero who shows up and puts the fire out!

Rewind to Fast-Forward

April 2, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

I had the chance to speak on abuse in Tulsa, OK a couple weeks ago.

Everywhere I speak, 1/4 to 1/2 of my audiences have been sexually abused as
children. I recently received a message from a preacher friend who said, “40%
of the women in my congregation have been sexually abused as children.” The
numbers are probably higher, knowing that many survivors of abuse never
disclose their abuse to anyone. These are more than just numbers, though. I
listen to the stories and hear see the pain in their eyes when they speak. There
are ripple effects that effect just about every aspect of life–from intimacy
problems, to depression and sexual promiscuity, to lack of trust and PTSD. You
21
name it, and most survivors have experienced it. This is national sexual assault
awareness month, yet this taboo subject will find little attention in the media.

I always like hearing stories of survivors who are empowered to help raise
awareness and help other survivors of abuse. A friend sent me a link to a video
produced by Sasha Neulinger. You may know him as the young actor who
played Shallow Hal as a kid. He also played the obese kid in the movie When
Zachary Beaver Came to Town. At any rate, Sasha has gone through 200
hours of home videos shot by his dad and is retelling his childhood story
through the home videos. You see, underneath the happy moments captured
on home video was a dark family secret–Sasha was being sexually molested by
his two uncles. Both uncles sexually molested Sasha’s dad as a boy, too. Sasha
and his dad are using this film as a way of healing for them and for other
survivors.

Give this three minute video a view and let Sasha know you support this
endeavor. He is trying to raise enough support to put the video to production.
Let’s help empower survivors of abuse by listening to their voices.

Commentary on Dottie Sandusky’s Interview

March 13, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

Yesterday I watched the full 50 minute Dottie Sandusky interview. Dottie

maintains her husband Jerry’s full innocence. Many people were outraged by
what she had to say. Admittedly, I wasn’t too pleased myself and I think she
did a lot to revictimize Jerry’s victims. But instead of having a knee jerk
reaction, I want to offer a perspective from someone whose father is a
pedophile and who was, ironically, sentenced the same week of Jerry
Sandusky’s trial in 2012. Stranger yet, dad was transferred from Camp Hill to
Bellefonte the same exact day that Jerry Sandusky was transferred from
Bellefonte to Camp Hill.

First of all, I get asked the question a lot. . . “Did anyone in the family know
that your dad was sexually abusing little children?” I can assure you that none
of us had any idea whatsoever. We all had a very close relationship with dad,
yet we had no idea that he was sexually assaulting children. Had any of us
known, he would have been reported immediately. I can also assure you
firsthand that it is extremely easy for sex offenders to abuse children for years
right under the nose of others and get away with it. Dr. Gene Abel estimates
that child molesters only have a 3% chance of getting caught for any one
instance of abuse. Let’s flip that number. This means that 97% of the time, a
perpetrator successfully violates a child without anyone ever knowing about it.
I asked Dr. Anna Salter, a top sex crimes expert, about this. She has
interviewed and counseled sex offenders for over 20 years. She said, “In my
experience, 3% is probably high. They just don’t get caught.”

Second, I want to sate that I firmly believe (1) that Jerry Sandusky is guilty of
sex crimes against children and (2) I believe that Dottie is fully convinced in
her own mind that Jerry is innocent. In other words, she’s not delusional–she
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just doesn’t know how pedophiles think and therefore is easily manipulated by
her husband. I want to offer some commentary on a few key points of the
Dottie Sandusky interview that I believe will be helpful for most people who
read this. Dottie’s perspective is not unique. I don’t know an exact number off
hand, but there are studies that show a significant number of victims are never
believed. Subsequently, the idea of someone actually being a pedophile is
quickly dismissed, enabling them to continue to abuse children unhindered.
Here are just a few key points in the interview that jumped out at me:

“He would have admitted to this if he had done it.”

Both Dottie and John Ziegler were adamant about this in the interview. In fact,
Ziegler said, “If he did this, why no confession? The closest thing I got to a
confession from Jerry was, ‘I may have crossed some boundaries.'” This
premise is to assume two things–(1)that pedophiles are truthful and (2) that
they would admit that what they did was wrong. The foundations of abuse are
secrecy, deception (lies), and misdirection (grooming). Assuming that Jerry
would all of a sudden feel remorse and be honest about abusing kids is a
dangerous assumption. In fact, Dr. Salter recalled this conversation when she
was counseling a convicted pedophile: “You don’t get this, Anna, do
you?...You think that when I’m asked, ‘Did I do it?’ that’s when I lie.
But I’ve been lying every day for the past twenty-five years.” (Salter
42) We also know that Jerry admitted to showering with boys, wrestling with
them nude, and having soap battles (throwing balls of liquid soap at the kids
then rubbing the soap all over their bodies). It may well be that Jerry is a child
molester in denial. Drs. Gene Abel and Judith Becker did an extensive five year
study on a sub-group of child molesters–people who had sexual fantasies of
children but never offended. In a city of 7 million, they finally found only 8 who
fit this category. This is what Abel says, “However, when I talked with these
men, I found that all of them were actual child molesters. . . These men made
up their own private definition of child molestation. Some would say they had
never molested a child because they only sexually fondled a child. As fantastic
as it may seem, a few even claimed that, although they had vaginal or anal
sex with a child, they had never molested the child because they had not used
force” (Abel & Harlow, 97). Assuming that Jerry would have confessed or
admitted to the crimes if he had actually done it just does not work.

“Jerry viewed him as a son and that’s why he was showering with him. . . he’s
not someone Jerry viewed as a stranger.”
Dottie insisted several times that yes, Jerry showered repeatedly with minors
but “that’s the generation he grew up in.” I’ve encountered hundreds of men
from “Jerry’s generation” in my life. Anyone want to have a stab at how many
of them insisted on showering with me? You guessed it! NONE! It’s not normal.
Period. I’ve read a few hundred pages of court transcripts from the trial. Here’s
part of an interview with “Victim #4,” who was 13-14 at the time of the abuse.
Q–“Can you tell the ladies and gentlemen of the jury approximately how many
times the defendant in either the East Area Locker Room or the Lasch Building
shower or the Lasch Building sauna put his penis in your mouth?”
A–“It would have to be 40 times at least”
Q–“Did you want him to do it–”
A–“No.”
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Q–“–On any of those occasions?”
A–“No.”1

Dottie’s insistence that Jerry showered with these boys only because he knew
them and loved them assumes the “stranger danger” myth–that sexual
predators abuse strangers, not people they know. In fact, just the opposite is
true. Around 90% or more of victims are known by their perpetrator (Snyder,
2000).

“Our son Matt is a liar. He stole from us. . .sold Jerry’s rings. . .he flat-out lied.
Money was a motive”

Professionals in this field will tell you that underprivileged children are often
hand selected by perpetrators precisely because they are starved for love and
attention and they have a history of not being believed. Put another way, kids
from bad homes often lie and get into trouble. When a perpetrator is
questioned, a typical response is, “Who are you going to believe? Me or that
kid who constantly lies about everything?” It’s a grooming technique that,
unfortunately, works really well. Is their son Matt a liar? Did he steal from
them? Was he, or is he troubled? I don’t know him, but it’s quite possible. But
that doesn’t mean he made up the abuse.

It’s hard to believe that all of these people came forward and fabricated
elaborate stories with great detail of the abuse. I’ve read manuscripts. The
techniques that Jerry allegedly used are so common to pedophiles that they’re
downright predictable. . . blowing on their bare stomachs, giving inappropriate
back massages, putting his hand on their thighs and caressing the genitals
while driving his car, showering with them, oral sex, etc. The detail that the
victims gave under oath could not have been fabricated by someone who is not
intimate with the patterns of pedophiles. And what would they have to gain by
subjecting themselves to this kind of public shame?

I could write a lot more on Dottie’s interview, but I will stop here. It’s easy to
deceive and be deceived. I only write this because my family and I were, for
our entire lives, deceived. Fortunately, dad confessed and did not force his
victims to stand trial. I hope to raise awareness in people who are approached
by children who disclose abuse. The first thing you should do is, despite what
your “gut” tells you, believe the child. Report the alleged abuse and allow
professional investigators find out who is telling the truth. Never assume that
children are lying or just misinterpreted a physical encounter.

And don’t assume that, just because someone waits until they are an adult to
disclose abuse, that the abuse didn’t happen. It is more common than not for
someone to disclose the abuse for the first time as an adult. Feel free to watch
the interview and let me know what your thoughts are.

I Am Legion, For We Are Many

March 5, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

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Every day my news feed is bombarded with stories of pedophiles preying on,
and attacking innocent children. When you allow your eyes to be opened, it
becomes evident that this is beyond epidemic status. There are an estimated
over 40,000,000 survivors of child sex abuse in the US alone. Wrap your mind
around that number, if you can. I recently wrote about child molesters hiding in
plain site. But there is another dimension I’d like to add to abusers–there are a
lot of them. Unfortunately, most child molesters will never get caught. While
this is a grim fact, I believe we can turn it around.

We’re reminded of the story when Jesus and his disciples get off the boat in
the country of the Gerasenes. There was a demon possessed man who met
them “in the tombs.” I have to wonder why evil spirits were lurking in the
tombs. My best guess is that graveyards are a place of great pain for living
family members. Visiting gravesites is a solemn and reverent occasion. For
many people, the grave is a reminder that the person we love and held so dear
is no longer with us. Evil exists to disrupt the very places where people go to
try and make sense of, and overcome tragedy. Imagine the scene at the
Gerasene tombs–anyone who wanted to bury or visit their deceased loved ones
couldn’t because this violent man was screaming and shouting obscenities at
the gravesite. It was an added insult to the injury of death.

Another thing that’s striking about this story is the power and persistence of
evil–“And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had
often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart,
and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue
him” (Mark 5:3-4 ESV). People who are familiar with abuse know the lengths
that perpetrators go to in order to continue abusing. Hiding, secrecy, shame,
and manipulation all allow abuse to continue right under our very noses–in our
churches, schools, daycares, sports events, and homes. Confronting a child
molester and telling them to stop does not work. It has never worked. Evil is
persistent. It doesn’t care about you, children, or God.

Night and day this man was back and forth between the tombs and mountain
tops, blatantly causing fear and disruption. I have to wonder if the residents of
the town were so used to his presence that they learned to ignore his actions.
The thing that grips me most is his eerie response when Jesus asks his name:
“My name is Legion, for we are many” (Mark 5:9). A Roman legion was a
military term and could be up to 6,000 men. I’m not trying to create fear here,
but this is the only category that fits for how many child sex abusers are living
among us. They are everywhere, in plain view of us. And my experience tells
me that we have, for various reasons, chosen to run and hide from them or
have ignored that there are legions of them among us.

In his 2001 book Beyond Tolerance: Child Pornography On the Internet, Philip
Jenkins entered chat rooms of pedophile rings to observe their secret
community. He placed filters so that no images could be viewed, since the
viewing of child pornography is highly illegal. What he found was astounding
and shocking to him. There literally was such a large community of pedophiles
sharing stories and pictures of the hundreds of victims they each were
abusing, that Jenkins’ conclusion is that child pornography is not police-able.
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Keep in mind, this was 2001 when the internet wasn’t even close to being as
accessible as it is today. As one pedophile in a chat room put it:
“When you think about it, just how many lola lovers do we have here, maybe?
10,000 15,000 visit this board, what about the other boards, and what of the
others that can not find this and the other boards? I have seen some of the log
files from some of the net’s search engines, and the top search is childporn
and all the Lola lovers that don’t have a computer, there must be millions out
there some where ;)”

I think of Elijah Fernandez who, just last month, raped his girlfriend’s 4 month
old baby then punched her in the head twice, rendering the child brain dead.
The baby died shortly after at the hospital in Albuquerque. Here is a statement
from the police department: “And I literally cannot explain to you what
happened because it’s so graphic, you would not be able to air the charges,”
said Simon Drobik of the Albuquerque Police Department. “Calls like this
always effect officers and the unsung heroes of this department are the Crimes
Against Children Unit. They see this all the time, day in, day out.”

They see this all the time, day in, day out. Talk to any police department. Give
your local department a call. Ask them if this statement is accurate. I assure
you that you’ll find this same response whether you live in a village or
metropolis, in a satanic gathering or orthodox church. Do a search on “4
month old baby raped.” This story is not unique. It. Happens. All. The. Time.
It’s time that we’re honest with ourselves and admit that this beyond the
status of being a problem. We’ve got to stand up and face evil. Let’s call evil
what it is. I remember when President Bush was mocked for his famous term
“evil doers.” Are we going to mock people who call evil what it is? Is it funny?
As I type this, I’m not laughing.

The interesting thing about the story of this demon possessed man is that
Jesus didn’t allow evil to go on. He confronted the legion and cast them out.
They were no longer welcome to terrorize the village, enter the tombs, or
scream on the mountain top. Jesus didn’t say, “Karma will eventually get
them.” No! He stood up against evil and essentially said, “You’re not welcome
here any longer.” This is called justice. Can you imagine if our churches and
communities unified and said, “This evil is no longer welcome in our town”? I
believe we can, and we should be doing it. Let’s all join efforts to free the
innocent of the effects of this evil.

Hiding in Plain Sight

February 18, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

How aware are we of our surroundings at any given time? I confess that I’m a
people observer. I always have been. When I go into public places, I’m always
looking around to the point of distraction. What am I looking for? Mostly
danger–anyone pacing nervously, anyone with their hands in wrong places,
children who look uneasy around their guardians, unscrupulous characters–
those sorts of things. I go into full ADHD mode when I’m out. You know those
leashes that they make for kids? Well, I should have to wear one when I go out
26
with my wife so she doesn’t lose me.

Why am I so attentive? You could argue that it’s paranoia, but I assure you
that I’m not a paranoid person. But I do like to be aware of my surroundings.
Maybe we should all be more aware of our surroundings. I can remember
working at a Pennzoil oil shop when I was attending seminary. One day our
boss pulled us all together and said, “Did any of you see a suspicious guy at
the carwash yesterday?” None of us had. He went on to explain that the police
stopped at the shop and wanted the video tapes because a college girl was
vacuuming her car when she noticed a man snapping pictures of her while
masturbating. To my knowledge, they never found the guy.

I recall a time last year when my wife and then 2 year old daughter were with
our in-laws at a shopping mall in Grand Rapids. As our daughter was riding the
carousel with grandma and grandpa, I noticed a man sitting next to the
carousel who looked out of place. The more I watched him, the more I noticed
he was infatuated with some young girls riding the carousel. I told my brother-
in-law to watch this man’s face when these 2 girls came around. It was
disturbing. I reported the man to the carousel operator and she said, “Come to
think of it, this man was sitting in the same spot for several hours last night.”
After I reported him, she called security on him.

Were these girls’ parents aware that their daughters had a pedo-fantasizer
mentally undressing their daughters? From my perspective, they didn’t have a
clue. This type of thing happens millions of times a day at any given time.
Remember Jaycee Lee Dugard? She was abducted by sex offender Phillip
Garrido and his wife in 1991 and was held captive in his back yard until
discovered in 2009. He did what was a common tactic of many pedophiles–the
old “I’m filming something interesting here” trick while actually shooting
footage of children. Watch this clip beginning at the 2:30 mark: VIDEO

This is not an uncommon tactic. Some are more obvious than others. This
story is about a pedophile giving a nice Valentine’s treat to a Gresham, OR
man’s 5 & 8 year old daughters while walking to the school bus stop. The
father recalls: “I saw a guy in a silver car with four doors and he didn’t belong
around here. He was staring at my daughters funny.” So he walked around the
car to see what the man was doing. You guessed it, he was caught in the act of
masturbating. The dad punched the man then the man drove off.

How does this stuff happen so often? I can assure you that I barely scratch the
surface of this epidemic through this website. As the son of a pedophile, I can
assure you that they truly are hiding in plain sight, a term I borrow from this
1988 article about pedophile preacher Tony Leyva. He sexually abused 100
young boys, but investigators estimate he actually abused around 800 victims.
“Brother Tony” was a Pentecostal preacher who spent his time on the road as a
very famous evangelist. He passed the boys around a pedophile prostitution
ring of other preachers, an organist, and government officials. How does one
person sexually assault 800 victims before getting caught? Unfortunately,
these numbers are not unique. Statistics are staggering. Pedophiles truly are
hiding in plain sight.
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We’ve got to be more attentive to our surroundings. We’ve got to be louder.
We’ve got to stand up for justice and prevention. If you want to find out what
you can be doing within your own communities, you can register for my free 3
hour webinar here. I’ll have guest Les Ferguson, Jr. joining the discussion in
the last hour. It’s from 9AM-12 Noon eastern this Saturday. The webinar is
open, so you can join it at any time within that 3 hour period. This option is for
those who cannot attend the entire webinar but who would still want to hear
part of it.

See some of you on Saturday!

Would You Pull Your Kid From School If This Happened?

February 5, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

Public school is supposed to be a place where children feel safe. There has
been a lot of focus on school shootings lately and, while they are tragic crimes,
there is a much bigger epidemic than gun crime in our schools. Take a look at
the news. Every day at least a few schools are in the news for sexual assault
against young children. . . literally. Does anyone else get as mad as I do that
this is happening on a daily basis? Does anyone else feel that it’s long past
time that we become vocal, march into our schools, and demand they tell us
what steps they are doing to protect our children? If you’re not at that point,
you should be. It’s well known that the vast majority of sex crimes against
children never get reported. There are an estimated over 40 million survivors
of child sex abuse in the US alone. That’s more than the entire state of
California, our most populated sate. Or, we could pack NYC at its 8.337 million
capacity almost 5 times. Since that’s the case, how much sexual abuse is
actually going on in the schools? Brian Palmer may be spot on when he says,
“Probably millions.”

Let me add another depressing fact. The majority of teachers will never report
suspected abuse, and they are even less likely to report it if a colleague is
suspected of abusing a child. To further complicate the issue, several states
have unclear laws describing who mandated reporters are and what the
process should be for reporting suspected abuse. Here is a clip of Rep. George
Miller, CA discussing his surprise at this: VIDEO

No offense to Mr. Miller, but these are the kind of uninformed people running
our country. It is their job to stay informed and to do something to make
reporting easier. And let me make something clear to my readers: you don’t
have to be a mandated reporter to report a crime! Anyone can (and should)
report suspected crimes against children. Which leads me to my next story.

A New York prosecutor who recently put a gym teacher in prison for sexually
assaulting an 8 year old boy “was stunned by the lack of cooperation he got
from the Matthew LoMaglio’s colleagues, 22 of whom wrote letters to the judge
supporting him.”1 It gets worse. The assistant principal, Susan Hasenaur-
Curtis, had the boy and his mother in her office as the mother explained the
fear her son was living in. Susan Hasenaur-Curtis did not report it to Children
28
Protective Services as is required, because she felt the allegations were not
credible. This happened in 2006. It wasn’t until 2012 that this boy had the
courage to write a letter to his older brother describing the sexual assault.
Though he wrote the letter, he kept it hidden in his bedroom where his
younger brother found it and gave it to their parents. LoMaglio, like many
pedophiles do, maintained his innocence throughout the trial until he finally
confessed to a counselor upon sentencing. By forcing it to go to trial, this boy
(now 15) had to testify in court while LoMaglio had his posse of 22 supporters
on his side. At one point in the investigation, the prosecutor found out there
was talk among teachers at Rochester School 19 that went like this: “Are you
for the teacher or the student?”

According to statistics, it is very unlikely that this boy was LoMaglio’s only
victim. Not by a long shot. I tell you this story because it happens all the time.
Ask any prosecutor of sex crimes against children. They will all tell you similar
stories of support for the perpetrator, not the victim. My question is, “Would
you pull your kid from school if this happened?” My answer is an unequivocal
YES! Not only would I pull my kid from a slimy school like Rochester 19, I’d
pay for a lengthy article in my local newspaper to let the world know that they
are protecting the name of the abusers, not the victims. I would publish the 22
teachers’ names in the newspaper who wrote letters of support for the man
who robbed the innocence of an 8 year old. I would demand that they resign. I
would let everyone know that assistant principal Susan Hasenaur-Curtis has 0
interest in protecting your kids. She had an opportunity to report a crime and
chose not to do it, even though the law requires it. I would ask for her
resignation, demand an apology, and ask that she have nothing to do with any
organization where children need to be protected.

This story is personal to me. I was asked by my dad to write a letter of support
in order for him to get a reduced sentence. I could not. I would not. To do so
would have been the hugest slap in the face to every child whose innocence
was taken away by that man. I love my dad and still communicate with him,
but support he will not find.

I’m a firm believer that silence is another way to support the abusers. By the
public remaining silent and not demanding answers from these schools, we are
allowing these crud ball teachers, principals, and super intendants to keep
doing this without consequence. If you have children in school, go there this
week and ask to have a printed copy of their child protection plan. If they give
you a hard time or tell you that you can’t see it, go to your local news and let
the public know about it. My wife was a teacher in the public schools and I
know that teachers are not well informed about policies and reporting
procedures. Pennsylvania is getting better because of the recent passing of Act
126. But we are light years ahead of other states in this area, and that’s not
saying much. Find out what policies and plans are in place at you kids’ schools.
Demand answers and don’t tolerate schools who protect the guilty.

“I broke the fangs of the unrighteous and made him drop his prey from his
teeth” (Job 29:17 ESV)

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10 Year Old Sweetie

January 28, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

There are a lot of pedophiles out there taking advantage of very young
children–exploiting, humiliating, sexualizing, and dehumanizing them. With the
explosion of the internet, access to child porn and the ability to remain
anonymous has pedophiles lined up like a school of piranha waiting to sink
their teeth into the next unsuspecting youngster. Experts say the problem is
getting worse, not better. I would agree. Even since I began this site a few
months ago, the type of traffic coming to my site has attracted more and more
sickos. My dashboard tells me that today, January 28th, the top searches that
led people to my website are “child porn,” “children porn,” “child porn vk,” and
“young chaild sexy pron” (spelling mistakes are intentional by frequent child
pornographers who try to remain undetected).

I hear a lot of personal stories of children who are being exploited by adults
who justify their evil twisted behavior through a number of avenues. Here’s the
deal–nothing can justify this kind of behavior. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Not addictions,
not “lust,” not desire, not lack of sex from your spouse, and certainly not the
claim that young children come on to the perpetrator. These sex crimes don’t
“just happen.” They are fantasized about. They are planned. Every detail is
meticulously planned, down to what amount of pressure the perpetrator’s hand
will have as it grazes the young child’s genitalia for the first time.

Why do I share these things with you? Because we don’t want to believe that
it’s true, or that it happens that often, or that it could happen to our own kids.
We’d like to think that this is such a rarity, and that the media just blows it out
of proportion. I’m here to tell you, experience and knowledge has opened me
up to a whole new world–a huge world. And I’m learning that denial does
nothing to stop pedophiles. Fear does not stop them. Rules do not stop them.
Belief in God does not stop them. So what will? You will. People like you and
me who are loud. I mean unapologetically loud, and who will be a voice for the
victims of these heinous crimes. People who have no fear of reporting abuse
can at least deter child molesters and let them know that we’ve had enough.
We are no longer afraid to speak out and to stand up for what is right. There is
a war being waged and the wrong side has been retreating for years. It’s time
to take innocent territory back.

One more thing. . . for those of you who cruise the internet looking for “young
chaild sexy pron,” heroes like this may just be setting a trap for you when you
think you are masturbating on camera for a 10 year old child: VIDEO

Safe cruising!

Survivor of Abuse Posts Her Call to Abuser

January 23, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

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A 28 year old woman, a survivor of child sex abuse, posted a video to Youtube
of her calling her abuser. She did it because she feared that the statutes of
limitation would prevent the abuser from paying for the crimes. First of all,
praise God that she found the courage to do this, and to show her face
publicly. This video will hopefully embolden other survivors to tell their stories
of abuse and to report it. Only about 25% of child sex abuse survivors will ever
tell anyone that they have been sexually abused. Other studies show that this
number is probably generous. The majority of abuse survivors take that secret
to their grave.

I’ll post the video at the bottom of this blog. The ridiculous comments people
leave behind are not surprising to me: “Get over it. . .it happened 16 years
ago,” “move on. . .” etc. Isn’t that the perception many people have? And isn’t
this attitude precisely why children are afraid to tell anyone? Imagine–you’re 3
years old and finally get the courage to tell someone that your uncle has been
caressing your body parts with his tongue. The reply is, “Just get over it.”
“Move on.” Fear is the number one reason children don’t tell. Fear that nobody
will believe them. Fear that they will be punished for telling. Fear that telling
will cause a divorce. Fear that the public will find out that they have been
molested. Fear that they will have to go to trial and face their abuser. You get
the picture.

I’ve heard people ask survivors why they waited so long to tell someone. It’s
usually framed in an accusatory question like, “If the abuse was really as bad
as you say, why would you wait until you were all grown up to say something
about it?” Says the person who was never sexually assaulted as a child.
Interestingly, pedophiles commonly use the same argument but with a
different agenda. It goes something like this: “If she really didn’t like it, she
would have told me to stop.” Says the person who threatened the child that if
he tells, something bad will happen to him or his family.

At any rate, I commend this woman who got the courage to call her abuser
and I get why it took so long. We all should get it. It is more common than not
for those who do report to do it years after the abuse occurred. I know of
victims who were ridiculed by families or churches for reporting abuse because
“you’re smearing “so-and-so’s” good name. Really? We can and need to do
better than this for survivors of abuse.

And one piece of advice–don’t feel sympathy for abusers because they “were
born that way” or “just couldn’t help themselves.” This video grabbed my
attention and the abuser’s response is typical of pedophiles who are initially
questioned for their crimes.

Caller: “I was only 12 years old when I met you. Do you realize that you
brainwashed me and manipulated me and that what you did was wrong?”
Abuser: “Yes. And I regret it.”
Caller: “Are you doing this to other students too?”
Abuser: “No.”

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Interviews with convicted child molesters reveal that they know that it is
terribly wrong but they abuse anyway. Is the regret genuine? Possibly. But
regret doesn’t stop someone from abusing, or from continuing to abuse. Is she
telling the truth that she is not doing this to other students? It’s doubtful.
There are a wide variety of statistics on how many victims a pedophile may
have in his or her lifetime–with some being over 1,000 (that’s individual
children per 1 abuser; this does not count how many instances of abuse there
were, which could be a few thousand). Dr. Gene Abel did a couple studies and
found that convicted pedophiles who were questioned averaged 73 victims
each. United Youth Security estimated 260 victims each. You will find similar
high numbers, and the scope of this particular blog is not to discuss the
reasons why this range is all over the place. But there is one thing that is
consistent: no matter how many abusers initially claim that they only have one
victim, when further investigated it is revealed that there are almost always
multiple victims.

Proverbs 24:24-25 (ESV) says, “Whoever says to the wicked, ‘You are in the
right,’ will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations, but those who rebuke
the wicked will have delight, and a good blessing will come upon them.” VIDEO

The Superbowl Story Few Care to Know About

January 8, 2014 Jon_Jimmy

I’m not a sports fan, and this is probably because I don’t have an ounce of
athleticism in my DNA. If I can’t play sports, I certainly don’t care to watch
them. But I digress. For millions of people, sports are quite enjoyable. 108
million people watched the Super Bowl last year, making it the 3rd most
watched television event ever. But there’s a dark side of the Super Bowl that
few are talking about–human sex trafficking. Just search for “human trafficking
at Super Bowl” and dozens of stories will pop up, just from the last few days.

Every Super Bowl, children are transported to the hosting cities by their pimps
and are forced to have sex with sports fans. A former sex trafficking victim
explains what it’s like for these young children: “When they come to these
kinds of events, the first thing you’re told is how many you’re gonna perform a
day,” she said Friday. “You’ve got to go through 25 men a day, or you’re going
through 50 of them. When they give you that number, you better make that
number.”1 She recalls being injected with heroin, tied to the bed, and being
forced to watch another victim be tortured for not meeting the quota of Johns.
This video is well worth the watch to see what goes on while millions of people
are glued to the television in the comfort of their homes. Here is another look
at what’s going on (lots of information is available on this topic):

How does this happen? Quite easily, actually. Pedophiles can easily use
distractions, abuse a child, and go back to “normal life” as if nothing has ever
happened. How many wives or girlfriends, not able to attend, send their
husbands or boyfriends off to the Super Bowl with a blessing? Would they ever
suspect that while away, they will be paying pimps to have sex with children?
Not a chance, which is why it is so easy for predators to get away with it. This
32
is magic 101–slide of hands. While one hand is occupied, the other is busy
performing the magic trick.

The good news is that the NFL, local governments, the FBI, and lots of
volunteers are working together at each Super Bowl to ramp up an effort to
rescue these children and young adults who are being trafficked. We should
pray for the thousands of children and young adults who will be moved to New
Jersey in a few weeks against their will to be used as sex objects for the
warped.

Attention Survivors of Abuse: You’re Not Alone!

December 18, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

Guilt. Shame. Burdened. Sad. Lonely. Addicted. Marked. The more I

speak with survivors of child sex abuse, the more I understand the weight that
so many of you feel. Now, I’m not one of those people who will say, “I know
exactly how you feel.” The reality is I don’t know exactly how you feel, and I
never will. Neither do I pretend to know exactly how you feel. But I can say
emphatically that Christians be damned if we don’t begin to try and
understand. It’s time we church leaders search into the depths of our hearts
and minds and start to understand exactly why Jesus surrounded himself with
people who were labeled as the social outcasts.

It’s sad that so many Christians overlook the people who Jesus closely
associated himself with. Let’s start with Jesus’ own family tree. Matthew
mentions Tamar who, by the way, dressed as a prostitute and had sex with her
father-in-law. There’s also Rahab, whose profession was a prostitute, followed
by Ruth, the woman who spent the night under the blankets with Boaz. And
then there’s Bathsheba who cheated on her husband with King David. All of
these women were foreigners, too. Not exactly the model family tree for the
Messiah. These are not the women that someone would say, “Tah dah!. . .
Meet my family, everybody.” Yet Matthew includes them in Jesus’ family tree
precisely because Jesus came to heal the wounded.

Let’s not forget the woman who was caught cheating on her husband. Jesus
vehemently defended her in John 8. We cannot forget the Samaritan woman,
either, who Jesus pursued at the well. You know, the one who had 5 former
husbands and was living with man number 6 (not her husband). Or what about
the woman who fell down, wiping Jesus’ feet with her tears and hair. Luke does
not mince words concerning her: “And behold, a woman of the city, who was a
sinner. . .” (Luke 7:37). What exactly was her sin? We’re not positive, but we
know how she was viewed by the townspeople when the owner of the house
said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and
what sort of woman this is who is touching him. . .” (Luke 7:39). What’s
Jesus’ response? Jesus rebukes not the sinful woman, but the religious man
who looked down on this woman. Then Jesus offers the most healing words to
this woman that she could have ever heard: “Your sins are forgiven.” I imagine
a woman who felt both ashamed by past abuse and by who she’d become
because of it. She felt so crappy about herself that she finds herself in a
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humiliating position–on all fours wiping the dirty feet of this man with her hair,
as tears and snot fall to the ground. My heart breaks for her. I imagine that
she, like many of you, had never been empowered to feel loved.

As I talk with survivors of abuse, many of them share how they are not able to
speak to anyone about their abuse. They feel ashamed, scared, broken, guilty,
and downright ugly inside. This is why it’s called abuse. Abuse sucks. And I
believe this is why Jesus is so kind to all of these women I mentioned. He does
not excuse their sin. He understands its source. Rather than force them to
keep hiding it while feeling ashamed, he frees them by bringing it out from the
pits of their soul. It’s only then that they can begin to heal.

I wonder just how many of you are out there waiting to tell someone about the
burden you’ve been carrying for so long, waiting for someone to show up who
will simply listen. As a minister, I often ask myself what our church can be
doing to help survivors of abuse be empowered to talk about their abuse and
to begin healing. Should we begin a support group for survivors of abuse?
Would people even come, or do they feel too ashamed? I don’t know what the
answer is, but I know that doing nothing is just plain wrong. My heart breaks
every time I hear people who turn to sex, or drugs, or porn simply because
they are trying to find a way to cope with their abuse. My heart breaks even
more when they are ridiculed for their sin without church leaders ever caring to
find out why they are caught up in them. I truly believe that if the church was
as gentle to the abused sinners and as harsh to the abuser sinners as Jesus
was, people would actually trust in God and His church again.

I commend my new friend Mary DeMuth who turned her childhood rapes into a
healing book specifically for survivors of child sex abuse (really for any kind of
abuse, but she writes from the perspective of one who endured brutal rapes as
a child). Her newest book Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing After Sexual
Abuse will be in print next month. I couldn’t wait, so I ordered the e-book and
I’ve got to say, I cannot put it down! Survivors of abuse need to hear from
Mary. You need to know that there is hope. You need to hear that there are
good men out there, and that you are worthy of them!

My prayer is that you can be empowered to begin speaking about the abuse
and that churches will be open to being a vessel of hope and healing! You are
not alone and you should never feel like you are!

Frustrations and Joys as a Minister

December 11, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

There are a growing number of blogs and articles circulating talking about why
young people are leaving the church, and many of them offer good insight into
this epidemic. Anyone breathing who has concern for their children’s future
should be part of this conversation. I talk to a lot of bruised young people, so I
will first offer some observations, then I will offer what I think is a clear biblical
solution. I have many friends who are ministers, and many of them are
frustrated. They are finding ministry to be far more challenging than it needs
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to be. The biggest issue I hear from both church leaders and church members
is, “we just can’t seem to get along.” How sad is it when church leaders are
locked in hand-to-hand combat. . . with each other. What message does this
send to young people who come to the church from abusive homes filled with
violence and fighting?

Observations and Frustrations

#1 We Have Forgotten How to Fight – I strongly believe that we have

officially become a tattle-tale, sissified culture. Let me explain. We have bought
the anti-bullying agenda hook-line-and-sinker. What exactly is this agenda? If
somebody bullies you or disagrees with you for any reason, they hate you. I
can’t tell you how many church leaders I’ve talked to who take arguments
personally. They truly feel that another church leader or member who
disagrees with them doesn’t like them. This has turned many church leaders
into narcissistic, paranoid people-pleasers. Everything becomes about them
and how well they can keep people happy. This is not to poke fun at anyone,
but to express that many people really don’t know how to argue in healthy
ways. The anti-bullying agenda also teaches the vulnerable to become passive
wimpy victims. Instead of empowering the abused to stand up for themselves
and demonstrate courage, we teach them to feel sorry for themselves and tell
on the bully. “After all,” we say condescendingly, “Jesus says love your
enemies.” Ironically, when victims fail to stand up to their abusers, the abuser–
not the victim–becomes empowered. In Christian terms, we anachronistically
walk the anti-bullying agenda right into the mouth of Jesus–“Turn the other
cheek.” Ironically, the one time that Jesus was literally slapped on the cheek,
he said, “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I
said was right, why do you strike me?” (John 18:23 ESV).

Jesus’ disciples had explosive, clashing personalities. Isn’t it interesting that

Jesus hand picked 12 guys who were the least likely to get along? Look how
many times they fought, bickered, and misunderstood each other. Jesus taught
them how to work through arguments and remain brothers.

#2 We Are Fighting Over the Wrong Things – I can’t tell you how many
people I’ve talked to over the years who were brave enough to get out of
violent marriages, after years of violent spousal rape, torture, verbal abuse,
and cruelty, only to be disfellowshiped from their churches for having an
“unbiblical divorce.” Let’s be honest here–divorce has become the unforgivable
sin. I know of young teenage girls who were sexually violated in every way as
young children only to be humiliated even further when they were thrown out
of church for dressing immodestly. Rather than finding out why they are
dressing inappropriately, they were simply targeted for dressing
inappropriately. I once had an adult who had gone through much trauma as a
child, then was later chastised by church leaders say, “How in God’s name can
I ever set foot in a church again?” I’m a minster in the A Cappella Churches of
Christ, and I’ve seen churches split and divide over instrumental music,
clapping of hands, using too many cups (or not enough cups) for communion,
etc. Meanwhile, 1/4 of our kids sitting in the pews have been or are currently
being sexually abused by an adult. Perhaps our topics for fights ought to shift
35
focus.

#3 Church Leaders Are Abandoning Ship – Many preachers are leaving

ministry out of frustration. Within the Churches of Christ, many ministers are
leaving the Churches of Christ and going elsewhere. Take a look at the divorce
rate. Then compare that to the number of kids born out of wedlock. In 2002
the CDC concluded that “unmarried cohabitations overall are less stable than
marriages” and that “after 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending
is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for cohabitations.”1. Take time to
listen to children who talk about mommy and daddy splitting up. Oftentimes
children feel the divorce was their fault. When the majority of our children in
the churches are familiar with abandonment, we ministers add to their pain by
walking away.

Joys and Solution

#1 It’s Not All Bad News! – I often find myself having to “snap out of it.” We
are officially programmed to look at all the bad going on around us and to see
very little good in people. I listen to other ministers a lot. Honestly, I usually
hear them vent–they complain about all the things that people are doing
wrong. But deeply embedded in the ministry of Jesus and his disciples was a
message of encouragement to others. Listen to how Paul starts his letter to the
Corinthian church (where church members were having sex with prostitutes,
getting drunk at church, worshiping idols, having incestuous sex, etc.)–“Grace
to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I give thanks
to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in
Christ Jesus” (1 Cor. 1:3-4). I’m encouraged that there are individuals and
churches out there who don’t get defensive at every turn, and who take a
stand for the vulnerable. Look at the churches where there is growth and
where the youth are flocking. They want to be a part of a church that
encourages them, defends them, and takes a stand for the vulnerable.

#2 The Mission of Jesus Is Crystal Clear – Jesus, quoting from Isaiah 61,
gave his mission statement–“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has
anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim
liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty
those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” (Luke 4:18-
19). What if, instead of fighting over dumb stuff, splitting churches, telling
people God doesn’t like them, expressing our disappointments in people,
empowering their abusers, and putting most of our emphasis on how we can
have a rockin’ worship service, we actually did what Jesus did? We need to be
a voice for the poor, the bruised (including the divorced!), the oppressed, and
the sick.

I leave you with a video that is well worth 14 minutes of your time. I recently
learned about B.A.C.A. and what they stand for. As I watched the following
video, tears streamed down my face (OK, it was more like sobbing!). When I
told our church elders about B.A.C.A, what they do, and that that we have a
chapter of B.A.C.A. near us, they said, “Contact them and let them know how
we can partner.” Yes, Yes, and YES!!
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Protecting Your Kids: Preventive Tools For Parents

December 3, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

There’s an irony that comes with technology, convenience, and efficiency–the

more “advanced” we become, the more fragmented our knowledge is and the
more socially isolated we become. Unfortunately, isolation of children makes
them vulnerable targets for abusers, and it certainly doesn’t make for healthy
relationships within the family structure. Here’s a great video to illustrate how
social media actually makes us more isolated:

A professor once told our counseling class that being BUSY is an acronym for
Being Under Satan’s Yoke. It would take me a few years to find out just how
prophetic that statement was. Ecclesiastes 5:3 says, “For a dream comes with
much business, and a fool’s voice with many words” (yes, it does say business,
not busyness. . . but much business creates much busyness!). In a time-
crunched environment, I’ve found that busyness is something that keeps many
of us educators from finding the time to network our resources for protecting
children. I get asked a lot, “What are some resources that you can point us
to?” To be honest, I find myself asking that same question. The frustration at
the lack of a clear pooling of resources has actually been motivating. I’d like to
work on a project to create a network of resources–from prevention of abuse
to what constitutes good organizational policies, to what steps to take for
finding and funding victim counseling, etc. The good news is that there are a
lot of resources out there. The bad news is that, for now, there’s no good
networking of these resources that I’m aware of. I’d like to change that.

As for now, I don’t have such a tool developed. Therefore, when I come across
valuable resources, I will highlight them via my blog. Today I’d like to highlight
the work of Lauren Book. She is a survivor of child sex abuse and I just
finished her memoir on abuse titled It’s OK to Tell: A Story of Hope And
Recovery. The book is excellent and I highly recommend it. Lauren took the
worst imaginable experience and has turned it into an opportunity to arm
children with the tools to prevent abuse from happening to them. She is the
founder of

Come On! Families of Pedophiles Have to Know, Right?

November 27, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

This is a common misperception–that families of pedophiles had to know that a

perpetrator was in the family. Think of Ariel Castro. His family was quickly
indicted in the eye of the public. The questions abounded: How could he have
3 girls tied up in his basement for years and nobody in the family had a clue?
You mean nobody noticed anything odd about his behaviors? And what about
Jerry Sandusky? In his case, people did know that abuse was going on and
covered it up. This fuels the perception that already exists in the public. What’s
going on? Do family members and close friends know and just choose to cover
it up?

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As the son of a pedophile, I cannot speak for other families but I can share my
experience. Here are a few of my observations:

We Family Members Did Not Know–Not only did we not know, but we daily
live with the guilt of not knowing. At the end of the day, our ignorance did
nothing to stop him from abusing so many victims. The questions for me
usually appear in the form of nightmares (literally). How did I not see it? How
could I not have seen the signs? Why did I never question odd behavior that I
had seen over the years? Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat after seeing
faces of children crying out for help. The guilt of not knowing never leaves.

There Was No Cover Up–To state, suggest, or imply that the family of a
perpetrator somehow covered up abuse only adds to our multi-layered pain. It
is a traumatic thing for a family to find out that one of their beloved family
members had been abusing young children for years. My world stopped 2
years ago when I found out and there are still days when I wake up and have
to wrestle with the reality of my own father being a pedophile.

Imprisonment Is Not High-Five Worthy–Now that we do know, and our

dad is currently serving a life sentence in prison, we do not celebrate that fact.
Don’t get me wrong. He is where he needs to be and worked hard to get there.
But it brings no comfort to know that he will die in prison. He is still our dad
and, as such, comes a whole gamut of raw emotion. Many of my siblings are
still wrestling with whether they should contact him for the first time since
being incarcerated. Holidays are weird, too. Do we bring it up? Do we pretend
that everybody’s happy? Certain places trigger different memories and
emotions for different family members. We try to be sensitive to that when we
get together for holidays.

There Can Be Redemption In Not Knowing–Because my family did not

know, I have dedicated my life to teaching others how to know that someone is
abusing children. Admittedly, much of my drive is fueled by guilt. I get very
mad at myself for not taking time to educate myself on abuse, or opening my
mind to the possibility that one of my family members might just be an abuser.
Because of this horrible experience, I am hopeful that I can offer help to others
and stop abuse before it happens. I’m not under the illusion that abuse will
cease. But I live under the reality that each of us has a responsibility to inform
others and protect the innocent. It’s people like you readers who are making a
difference. We need you.

In between college and seminary, I took one year and drove truck coast to
coast. It was always something I wanted to do, and I’ve driven off and on over
a 10 year span. In 1,000,000 miles, I’ve seen a lot of treacherous road
conditions and have witnessed hundreds of accidents, many of them fatal.
Nothing, in my estimation, compares to the deception of freezing fog. One
night in 2008 I left home and it was 35 degrees and foggy. I climbed to the top
of the mountain on US 30 before my descent at a 6% grade for the next 8
miles. Only a small guard rail separates the road from a cliff that drops down a
few hundred feet to the bottom. The road was perfectly dry and everything
seemed good. However, I had a bad hunch. Something didn’t feel right. I
38
decided to “stab” the brakes on the flat to test the dry pavement. Instantly, all
18 tires skidded. . . big time! I was on sheer black ice–freezing fog. I was
faced with the challenge of getting an 80,000lb truck down a 6% grade on a
sheet of ice. It was quite literally the scariest time of my life.

What’s my point? There were enough signs telling me that black ice was a
possibility. Thick fog, high elevation, near freezing temps, and dry looking
pavement. Yet, even with knowledge and experience I’m repeatedly fooled by
black ice. I can count at least a dozen times that I’ve nearly lost control from
unexpectedly hitting a patch of black ice. Yet every time there were definitive
signs which I ignored: cold temps, saturated air, a glassy look to the
pavement, a different sound from the tires (tires get quieter when you are on
ice), ice building on mirrors, and “soft” steering. In each and every one of
those scenarios, I legitimately did not know that I was entering an ice patch.
There was no cover up! But I’ve driven enough to know that ignorance is not
an excuse. We have got to always be vigilant, be defensive, be attentive to
signs, and pass on information that can inform others and ultimately save
lives. Let’s work together to help families identify ways that they can protect
their children before abuse ever happens.

Here is a video for your viewing pleasure, so you can see just how fun black ice
can be. Stay safe!:

My Child Is More Important Than Your Feelings

November 15, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

Jesus loved people. . . enough to offend them at times. Sometimes he name-

called. He liked to use the word “hypocrites” for religious people who treated
others poorly. One time, after calling a group of people “hypocrites,” Jesus’
followers said, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they
heard this saying?” (Matt. 15:12 ESV). Did Jesus apologize? Nope! He
responds with more name calling. . . “Let them alone; they are blind guides”
(Matt. 15:14).

We are a reactive society. When someone is offended, Twitter lights up like a

Holiday tree, death threats included. Because we are a reactive society, we
often become reactive to others’ reactions. I find myself sometimes worrying
to the point of paranoia about hurting someone else’s feelings because I don’t
want the hassle of being ridiculed or threatened. Blogging about child abuse is
difficult. I try very hard not to be offensive or to hurt people’s feelings. But
then I remember that Jesus wasn’t concerned with massaging hurting feelings.
He was concerned with love, justice, and being a voice for the broken and
marginalized–in spite of mobs of people who threatened to imprison or kill him.

I get a lot of people who ask me a lot of questions in a lot of different ways,
but essentially most of them boil down to this: “How do I protect my kids
from abusers?” In order to answer this question, we must first know
something about the abusers. First of all, child sexual abuse is about power

39
and control more than it is about sexual attraction. To be sure, the vast
majority of pedophiles have normal adult sexual relationships and only about
7% of pedophiles report being attracted only to children. So begs the
question–why do perpetrators risk so much to sexually molest young children
when they are also attracted to adults? Why not pursue a sexual relationship
with an adult, or have an adult affair, or have sex with adult prostitutes?
Granted, there are many factors and many of them are complex, but studies
with pedophiles show that the thrill of doing something so out of the ordinary
is part of their enjoyment. So is the ability to control and manipulate. Plus
children are extremely vulnerable, easy to sexually manipulate, and easy to
keep quiet. People with deviant sexual patterns find ways to isolate and
victimize children. If we were to oversimplify things for a moment, we could
say that deviant thrill seekers find vulnerable people and they attack.

To illustrate this in a visual way, there is a “game” that’s rapidly gaining

popularity among teenagers in the streets. You may have heard of it. It’s called
Knockout. The idea is for a group of teens to randomly find the most
vulnerable person walking on a sidewalk or riding a bike. Whoever sucker
punches the person and knocks them out cold (or kills them) is the Knockout
King. They target defenseless women, children, and the elderly. There literally
are no restrictions on who is targeted. It’s tough to watch, but it is happening
and it’s becoming popular:

Child molestation is, in some ways, a lot like the game Knockout. Perpetrators
find the most vulnerable kid, groom them, sexually assault them, and move on
to their next victim. To make matters worse, many pedophiles are very good at
manipulating the feelings of adults and can easily make them feel bad for a
number of different things. If you draw boundaries to protect your child from
abuse and someone makes you feel bad for that, remember that your goal is
not to protect the feelings of others. It’s to protect your child.

If anyone gives you a guilt trip (and they will) for not allowing your child to go
on a sleepover, or if someone makes you feel bad for any reason whatsoever,
remember that your child is more important than others’ feelings. Predators
prey on vulnerable people by acting as if their feelings are hurt. Don’t fall for
it. Keep the focus on your child’s well-being. If you begin to soften your
approach on setting boundaries for your child, just remember the game
Knockout. Let your guard down for a second and someone could eventually
swoop in for the sucker punch.

Sometimes protecting your child means that you will offend people. Sometimes
other people may have hurt feelings. You may jeopardize relationships or be
labeled a whack job. But guess what? God expects us adults to be protectors of
children. There is no excuse for negligence. Keep protecting your child and
stop worrying about protecting the feelings of others. . . . without guilt.

Corey Feldman, Hollywood, and Pedophilia

November 6, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

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It came as no surprise at all when I saw news articles recently come out
outlining Corey Feldman’s new book, Coreyography, revealing Corey was
molested as a child. Corey describes the grooming process, how he was made
to believe it was his fault, and how he was told that the sexual encounters
were what “normal people do.” All of these things are stripped right from the
same playbook of pedophiles. Having a very broken home life with drug-
addicted parents, Corey was primed, as currently are millions of other children
in this nation, to be a vulnerable target for abuse. Yes–sexual abuse of minors
is even in Hollywood.

Corey believes that pedophilia is a huge problem in Hollywood, and that it is

everywhere else too. He says, ” I think there’s a lot more of it than we’d like to
believe and a lot more of it in all paths of life. The world is a very, very dark
place right now. Right now, more than any other time in the history of mankind
we need to have spirituality in our lives, we need to believe in a higher power
and stay positive no matter what.” 1. Apparently, experts conclude that
pedophiles are a bigger problem in Hollywood than in Corey’s day.2.

I would agree, too. Statistics show it is true. But so does experience. Recently,
I met and prayed with a Christian man dying of AIDS who was from West
Hollywood. I asked if I could ask him very pointed questions about life as a gay
man, and he was very open and honest. What he described sounded more like
a horror flick than reality. At the age of 49, he had outlived every one of his
friends. Every single one. As a paramedic, he described routine calls for
overdoses and suicide attempts in the San Fernando Valley, the porn
production capitol of the world. His patients for those types of calls were
almost exclusively porn actors. But he also told me something that had struck
a nerve with me. He said, “Jimmy, all you hear about is the glamor of the gay
lifestyle. As one who lived my whole life in this community, there are things
that go on that you wouldn’t believe. And child molestation is wildly out of
control here.” Before anyone rushes to blast me, these are not my words. I
passed no judgment on my friend. I simply let him tell his story. As a man who
was, for years, sodomized by his biological father when he was a young boy,
he had the authority to speak on the subject.

Child pornography and pedophilia are everywhere. On lunch break today, the
local news had a story of young minors who posted hardcore nude pictures on
a pornographic website because their boyfriends told them to. Ironically my
own website, which tries to combat child sex abuse, is bombarded daily with
traffic from people seeking child porn. Just today the top searches which led
people to this very site are “child sex site,” “very young teen hardcore porn,”
and “pinay child phonography.” I know what you’re thinking, “What is pinay
child phonography?” Pinay is a slang word meaning a Filipina girl but it’s also
slang used to describe the most beautiful kind of girl alive. Phonography has
appeared almost daily as a search term and is an intentional misspelling of
pornography to sort of “fly under the radar” of illegally searching for child porn.

The bad news is that this is a pandemic. Corey Feldman is right that there is a
lot more going on “than we’d like to believe.” That’s just it. We don’t want to
believe it. So we deny. And the more quiet we are, the more enabled abusers
41
are. It’s also bad news that the majority of abuse is not reported. And the
majority of the abuse that is reported never gets investigated. Corey
experienced this in December 1993 when he reported the abuse to the Santa
Barbara Sheriffs department and they never investigated.3. I experienced it
last year when I turned in a prominent person in the churches by handing over
files of explicit pictures and comments posted online with young children, only
to be told that there was not enough evidence. This happens all the time and it
needs to change.

The good news is that more and more people are speaking out about abuse.
Where it was taboo in the past, it is slowly gaining attention today. And it’s not
just a fringe group quietly typing away at the keyboard. I’m encouraged by the
people who have contacted me privately to join forces, who have their own
books and websites to specifically educate others and speak out. I’m
encouraged by people like Corey Feldman who take an unpopular approach and
risk their careers to speak out. I’m encouraged by people like Alison Arngrim,
who played Nellie Oleson on Little House on the Prairie, who is speaking out
about her sexual abuse as a child. And I’m encouraged by Jaycee Lee Dugard
and Elizabeth Smart who were brave enough to recount their horrible
kidnappings and rapes from men who stole their innocence. I’m encouraged by
former porn stars, prostitutes, and strippers who now have thriving ministries
to help rescue women from the industry who’ve never known anything but
abuse and exploitation. I’m encouraged by the National Child Protection
Training Center for the war they have waged on abuse. And on and on it goes.

Finally, I’m encouraged by my readers who read these blogs, pray, and
comment. This is not easy stuff to talk about or read about. But you all do it.
And so we press on. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and
contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:17 ESV).

It’s a Boy!!

October 16, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

I’ve been away from the world of blogging for a while. That’s because on
Thursday, October 10th my wife gave birth to a perfect 7lb. 13 oz. baby boy!
Cameron was due on the 5th, but my wife was scheduled for an induction on
the 10th, should she go past her date. She did go past, and she was induced
and delivered on the 10th. That date is special to me. I believe that there are
no coincidences, and that there are often extreme ironies and emotional
tensions with dates and events.

Jesus died on Passover–an event that Jewish people still celebrate today as a
time of reflection, observance, and remembrance of the Exodus event. The
Exodus from Egypt was an event of hope in the midst of egregious slavery.
Throughout scripture, we constantly find this tension of sorrow and hope. God
is present in the middle of our pain. On the thirteenth anniversary of Jesus’
death, King Herod Agrippa I had James, the brother of John, killed. This was a
major blow to the church and great sadness ensued on the anniversary of
Jesus’ death. Make no mistake, King Agrippa intentionally chose this date to
42
discourage the church. To add insult to injury, Peter was arrested and
imprisoned that same day. We are not positive which prison Peter was sent to,
but a good guess is the Fortress of Antonia in the northwest corner of the
Temple. This is also the most likely place where Jesus was held exactly 13
years prior, just moments before his execution. Peter had to have felt the
irony. Exactly 13 years before, Peter stood in this area denying that he knew
Jesus. Now he was the one bound in chains ready to die.

But, God took something tragic and brought about hope. That same night,
through divine guidance, Peter escaped prison. It was so odd that Luke tells us
Peter did not know that what was happening was real. Perhaps Peter, clouded
by the fog of grief and despair, could not really imagine anything good possibly
happening on that day. It was a marked day. It was a day doomed to death
and sadness. Just a few hours prior, his best friend James was murdered. But,
after the escape from prison, Peter was renewed. He blatantly saw God show
up in the midst of his pain and sadness. The fog began to lift.

October 10th–October 10th marks the anniversary that my friend Les

Ferguson’s wife and son (Karen and Cole) were murdered back in 2011. Sadly,
this double murder happened just a few months after Les and Karen found out
that their disabled son Cole had been repeatedly molested and raped by a
trusted church member–the same man who killed Karen and Cole before taking
his own life. In a strange twist of irony, October 10th is also Les’ wedding
anniversary. His wife and son were killed on Les and Karen’s 24th wedding
anniversary. October 10th–a date that, for 24 years was marked with joy, is
now marked with sorrow for Les and his children.

I knew about this date, but didn’t give it much thought until Natalie’s last
doctor’s appointment. She was only 2cm dilated and the doctor told her that,
should she go past her due date, the earliest they could schedule an induction
was on October 10th. However, we were told that there was an 80% chance
she would deliver prior to that date. The baby stubbornly held on until the
10th!

My son Cameron, besides for being totally awesome, has a very special place
in my heart. I was able to sneak a call in to Les just moments after Cameron
was born on October 10th. We didn’t talk long, but I told Les that I love him,
that he and his family had been heavy on my mind all day, and that I wanted
to personally call and let him know that God still offers hope in the midst of our
pain. I can’t begin to imagine how hard that day was for Les and his family. I
won’t pretend to know. And I don’t have any illusions that my son’s birth
magically took away the pain. But, through his birth, God shows us that grief
and joy, hopelessness and hope, can all have a seat at the same table if we are
willing to share our burdens and joys with one another.

“If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are
comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently
endure the same sufferings we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we
know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort” (2
Corinthians 1:6-7 ESV).
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When Boundaries Fail, Part 3

October 1, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

I could write a lot more on boundaries–don’t even get me started about church
leaders and school teachers texting their students! But I decided that today I
would write to the countless people who have either failed to set proper
boundaries, or their boundaries were still violated and their children were
sexually abused. There are over 40 million survivors of child sex abuse in the
U.S. alone. Obviously there has been a major breakdown somewhere. My wife
and my biggest fear is that boundaries we have set will be overridden by a
predator and our child will be molested. Without instilling fear into my readers,
the reality is that it happens every day, thousands of times a day.

Should boundaries be crossed to the point of your child being abused, I offer
some guidelines to help you through the trauma (and it is very traumatic).

#1 Never be Arrogant or Naïve Enough to Believe That Your Child

Cannot be Sexually Abused

James 4:7 (ESV) says, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” I just read
an excellent article titled What Should You Do if You’re Threatened by a Mass
Murderer?. It spells out places mass murderers inevitably target: places that
offer little or no resistance. These places are specifically targeted by murderers
for a reason–they can easily gain access, they can easily kill (young children
are statistically the most targeted because they cannot physically defend
themselves), and they can sometimes easily escape. Places that offer
resistance (i.e. places with armed guards or armed permit-holding citizens) are
rarely targeted. Why? Because they are actively resisting evil. It’s tough for a
coward to get through armed guards in order to kill, so most likely he won’t.

Also be aware that over 60% of sexual molesters live under the same roof as
their victims. This is most likely because there is easy, unhindered access to
victims. We must be vigilant even in our own homes and be open to the
possibility that spouses or children my suffer with pedophilic attraction to
young children.

I’ve said before that sexual predators, like water, find the path of least
resistance. It’s time we all stand together and be guards who are armed with
knowledge and boldness. Resist. Make it tough for someone to gain access to
your child. At the same time, we have to be open to the possibility that our
children, even with safeguards in place, could still be victimized, which leads
me to:

#2 Talk Openly With Your Children About Their Bodies and Always
Listen

Our daughter is 3. Their brains can only comprehend so much. Talk with your
children, at their level, about privacy with their bodies. And ALWAYS let your
children know that they can talk to you about ANYTHING, and that they will

44
not be in trouble for telling you. Just last night, my precious wife had a
mother-to-daughter talk and told our daughter, Eden, “You know that nobody
is ever allowed to touch you down there, right? But if anyone ever does, you
need to tell mommy or daddy right away. You won’t ever be in trouble for
telling us.”

This is extremely important. Eden knows that (1)her body is private and is off
limits for anyone to touch in certain places and (2)if anyone ever does (God
forbid!), she can tell mommy or daddy without getting in trouble. Victims are
most often groomed and framed by perpetrators to believe that the abuse was
the child’s fault. Why is this important? Because it guarantees silence! Children
will often be told something like this: “You came on to me. I didn’t want this
but you turned me on. If you ever tell I’ll let everyone know that you initiated
it.” Children believe this because they are highly susceptible to suggestion,
gullible and, by nature, are trusting of every adult. A child who believes that
the abuse is his or her fault needs, needs, needs reinforcement by their
parents that, should abuse happen, it is never their fault and they will not be in
trouble for telling.

Strangely, we don’t hesitate to teach children fire drills, tornado drills,

gymnasium safety, etc., but when it comes to teaching them sexual abuse
safety, we clam up. And predators know it!

Furthermore, a child needs a stable, peaceful home in order to tell. It takes

extreme courage and heroism for a child to tell an adult about abuse. If a child
lives in a home where mom and dad are constantly shouting, blaming, and
accusing one another or their children, a child will likely never tell their parents
if abuse has happened. This is because they associate telling with yelling,
screaming, and finger pointing. A child who’s been told by a perpetrator that
the abuse is her fault will only be afraid of further rejection if they believe a
parent will agree, which leads me to:

#3 The Three Most Important Words a Child Who Discloses Abuse Can
Hear Is: “I Believe You”

It was the day before my dad’s sentencing in 2012. I was asked by a friend to
do a training for his staff on child abuse. After my presentation, several young
ladies came to talk to me. One young woman came to me in tears and told me
that she, as a child, had told her mom about her dad sexually abusing her. Her
mom didn’t believe her and actually yelled at her for “lying.” How, pray tell, will
children ever trust anyone to protect them if their own mothers accuse them of
lying?

I’m tired of reading accounts where children who are repeatedly abused by the
same perpetrator, say to themselves, “I’ll just initiate this (sex) and get it over
with.” No child should have to feel that he should endure abuse because
nobody will believe him if he tells. If a child discloses abuse, don’t probe, don’t
blow up, don’t tell them you’ll kill their abuser, and don’t tell them that they
must be mistaken. Do, for the sake of your child, be calm. Do tell them that
you believe them. Do tell them that you will do everything in your power to
45
keep them safe. And do report it to the police for investigation.

#4 Churches Should be a Place of Peace and Refuge

I was at a training workshop on abuse and heard stories of children who, after
disclosing abuse, were forced to stand before their abuser and forgive him
“because the Bible says if you don’t you won’t be forgiven.” Forgiven for what?
That very statement suggests that the child did something wrong. And who in
their right mind would force a child to stare their abuser in the eye and utter
the words, “I forgive you.” I’ll tell you who–the person who has never been
abused and has no idea, and doesn’t care to know what it is like, to be sexually
humiliated as a child.

It’s troubling to hear all the stories of children who are forced to be put on the
stand and relive their abuse to a group of strangers. It’s humiliating.
Devastating. What’s worse is hearing all the stories of prosecutors who lament
that, more often than not, it is the perpetrators, not the victims, who have
teams of people in the courtrooms to support them. Churches are not exempt.
What in God’s name do you think it does to young children’s souls when they
see people who show up to support their abuser? I beg you to watch this 6
minute clip and listen to the voice of a victim’s mother who just went through
this. A Rose City, MI teacher who raped a male student had 6 colleagues write
letters of leniency to the judge because “it did no harm to the child.”

As a minister, I loudly and publicly tell my congregation that abuse will not be
tolerated whatsoever. Our church will be a place of refuge, not turmoil for
children. I want children who may have been abused, or who may one day be,
know that we will stand beside them. They can trust us. They can tell us. They
will never have to face their abuser and they will never be shamed by their
church family because of abuse that happened to them. And finally:

#5 Don’t Get Trapped in the Past

When I found out how many victims my dad had, what their ages were, and
some of the details of what he did to them, there are no words to describe the
sense of guilt I carried. How did I not see it? What could I have done
differently? Why did I fail? How could I be so naïve? I felt a huge burden for
what had happened, and I understand that many parents whose boundaries
have failed never can move beyond the guilt. How did I let this happen to my
baby? How can God forgive me? What if I had been more bold? What if I knew
more about abuse? How could I be so trusting?

The devil will gain a huge foothold over your life if you live in the past. The
best thing you can do for your child who has been abused is to first forgive
yourself and then to focus on protecting and healing your child. Children who
see a parent who feels constant remorse and guilt will sometimes feel guilty for
ever having told. They do not need to carry that added burden.

Boundaries, Part 2

46
September 24, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

Ok, here is the post you all have been waiting for. . . from the perspective of a
pedophile’s son, and as one who educates others on a professional level, what
are some of the boundaries for my own child? I must preface this post by
acknowledging that simply coming up with boundaries will not protect your
child. Rules are meant to be followed, manipulated, then broken–in that order–
by people seeking access to your child. It is essential to learn how a pedophile
typically thinks (not pleasant, I know) in order to understand just how
important it is to enforce and adapt your boundaries. As a general rule of
thumb, pedophiles will take the path of least resistance. Offer little resistance,
and you increase your child’s vulnerability tenfold.

The following boundaries are not exhaustive. In fact, I only list my top 5 here.
My wife and I are constantly adding, removing, and adapting boundaries based
on our daughter’s age and surroundings, and you are encouraged to do the
same. Also, you should be aware that pedophiles are extremely adaptive to
technology and environment, and they are generally very patient if it means
they can gain access to a child’s body. It may take up to a year or more for
them to groom a child and his or her parents in order to have one sexual
encounter. Many Christians I know have adopted a “give the benefit of the
doubt” mentality to most people and they legitimately feel that it is unfair to
assume that someone could be a pedophile. I strongly argue the exact
opposite. It is unfair to your child to assume that someone couldn’t be a
pedophile.

John the Baptist, as he was baptizing people, said, “Bear fruit in keeping with
repentance” (Matthew 3:8, ESV). In other words, prove that you have
changed, don’t just say it. Paul, in giving a defense before Roman authorities,
tells King Agrippa that he preached the Gospel to Jews and Gentiles, “that they
should repent and turn to God, performing deeds in keeping with their
repentance” (Acts 26:20, ESV).

In other words, Paul didn’t give them the benefit of the doubt. Paul wasn’t so
naïve as to think that, just because people claimed that they loved God and
were good people, it meant that they really were. He demanded, as John did,
that they prove themselves through their actions. Jesus, as he sent the 12 out
to preach, warned, “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of
wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). In
other words, don’t be naïve and think we live in a safe world where all people
should be trusted. Remain innocent, but don’t be fooled. So with that in mind,
I demand that people prove themselves when they question my boundaries.
You want me to believe you are a good person? Don’t violate my boundaries
and then we’ll talk!

Boundary #1–Deny Physical Access This is going to sound radical to many

people, but we don’t want adults to be alone with our child unless we have a
sitter who my wife and I both approve (we only have 2 sitters who we trust
and have used; they are both women). Because the majority of molesters are
men, we do not allow any men to be alone with our child. We do not apologize
47
for this. It’s not that women can’t or don’t offend, but there are far less women
than men who do. We are still vigilant with the women who watch our
daughter on rare occasions. There are other physical boundaries–tickling,
wrestling, holding, certain types of hugs, etc. are off limits. Period.

Boundary #2–Deny Picture/Video Access of Our Child to the Public

I see it too many times–the majority of my Facebook friends incessantly post
“cute” pictures and videos of their kids for the world to see. Natalie and I
rarely put any pictures or our child up. When we do, they are set so that only
our friends can see them and our daughter is fully clothed. We have made a
decision not to send any pictures of our daughter to dad, either, despite his
repeated pleas for photos of “the grands.” July of 2011 is the last he has seen
our daughter. Just last week dad wrote me saying that he doesn’t understand
why we don’t send him pictures and he hopes we change our mind. I doubt we
will. It is very sad, but when you remind yourself how someone takes
something very innocent and manipulates it into something perverted for
masturbatory fantasy, you will (hopefully) stick to this boundary as well. I’ve
written on this before (see my Facebook: Playground for Pedophiles and How
You Dress Your Child Matters). I assured dad that withholding pictures is not a
punishment. His prison sentence is a severe punishment for his crimes. Rather,
it is a protection for our daughter. There is a big difference between
punishment and protection.

Pedophiles constantly rob public photos and videos of young children from
Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Pintrest, Flickr, etc., fill their hard drives with them,
and share them with each other. The following is a video that, most likely,
some innocent mother originally posted of her waking up her young daughter.
Someone grabbed it, reposted it with a different title, and it is a pedophile best
hits video. If you don’t believe me, look at the comments and the other videos
that appear on the sidebar. Some of the comments are: “im actually a multi
millioanire businessman who travels the world frequently, and i need a
plaything as a stress relief, if anyone can get me into contact with this little
princess i will wire you US$1,000, im desperate for some young blonde flesh”
and “God dangit. What is it about a girl just waking up that’s such a turn on?
And my god she’s gorgeous.” and “She is soooo Hot! I’d love to be under them
sheets with her!”.

It’s hard to tell, but she is probably about 10-12 years old. It’s hard to believe
that this video is such a turn on, but it has become grossly sexualized by those
living in fantasy land. Think like a pedophile before you post pictures and
videos of your child for the world to see (or as in this case, for over 107,500 to
view).

Boundary #3–Don’t Be the Sole Helper With My Child In the Bathroom,

But Don’t Leave Her Alone Either
This one is difficult to enforce, but since my wife works at the daycare where
our daughter goes, we have a major upper hand. Children should not be
allowed to go to the bathroom alone; they should take bathroom breaks in
groups. Being alone makes them very vulnerable for a number of reasons. For
one, they can get hurt, get locked in the bathroom, or mess themselves and
48
nobody would know it. For another, any adult roaming daycare, school, or
church halls could easily walk into a bathroom and sexually offend a kid and
nobody would know it. An adult helping a child solo is a terrible idea, too.
Believe it or not, one tactic for some pedophiles is to feed children laxatives so
they poop their pants. Then the “super hero” comes in to change the child’s
clothes and clean him or her up. There is a lot more than cleaning going on in
this scenario.

So, either take your child to the bathroom yourself (if you are physically
present, like at church) or insist that two adults assist your child with zero or
minimal physical contact. This includes at school, too. I’ve spoken with
elementary teachers who told me that there are private bathrooms attached to
each classroom and they’ve seen other teachers go into the bathroom with just
them and a child and then close the door. That would be my daughter’s last
day of school if this happened to her. Be aware of your school’s policies and if
bathroom accountability is not scripted into the policy, demand that it be or
pull your child from school.

Boundary #4–Doctor’s Visits With My Child Include Me or My Wife Too

As far as I know, there is no standard policy where doctors must have an aide
present with children. I have a brother who is a doctor, but I haven’t asked him
what his policy is. But it doesn’t matter much. I know what my policy is. When
I was in high school, I had to have a physical by a guest nurse who came to
our school because I played basketball. The nurse was a she, she was young,
and she was attractive. She commanded me to “drop my drawers” and so I
did–with just her and me in a room. While nothing sexual happened, that was
a horrible call on her part. I do not allow any doctor to shut him or herself in
alone with my child for any reason whatsoever. This includes pediatric doctors,
dentists, nurses, or anyone who can gain physical access to my child in any
way. My wife or I will make ourselves available for all of her (and our soon to
be boy’s) appointments. And we will be present in the room with the doctors
and/or nurses.

Boundary #5–No Secrets With My Child

Another technique in the playbook of grooming children is to tell them
something like, “You’re my special friend. I’ll let you have candy (or whatever
the parents forbid), just don’t tell them. It will be our little secret.”

We all do it with our kids. We playfully tell them little silly secrets. I’ve caught
myself being reeled into this child’s play with my daughter. “I have a secret. . .
. Daddy loves you.” But then I catch myself. If I love my daughter, why turn it
into a game whereby I program her to normalize something that is crucial for
predators to operate and offend? Why not just tell her, “I love you”? I have to
constantly remind myself not to play the “I have a secret” game with her,
because I don’t ever want her to think that, because daddy tells me secrets, it
must be ok for others to tell me secrets. Secrets are not ok. As adults, we are
unforgiving of secrets and they are associated with gossip or betrayal. Why,
then, do we normalize and play games telling secrets with our children? It may
seem trivial, but it’s really not. I have a stack of about 30 books on pedophilia.
There’s one thing that is in every one of those books–pedophiles constantly
49
groom and test children by playing “secret” games.

Let me know your thoughts. What are some of your boundaries? What are
some things we can do to make sure our parental boundaries are not crossed?

Setting Boundaries, Part 1

September 17, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

I was asked to write about what my boundaries are with my child for daycare,
baby sitters, nursery at church, and everywhere else. I must admit that setting
proper boundaries is extremely difficult because it is vital to the protection of
your child. . . so coming up with those boundaries, knowing what the right
boundaries are, being consistent in keeping those boundaries (add to the mix
of trusting that others will enforce your boundaries), and being willing to adapt
those boundaries just terrifies me. Being the son of a pedophile, I now know
firsthand how dad was so easily able to gain access to children, isolate them,
and abuse them. Thankfully, he is raw when we talk. He’s told me that I can
share some information from his letters, and I will here. One line from a letter
that will forever stick in my mind is this: “Jimmy, I dropped kids off at a
Christian daycare and I could have easily abused any kid I wanted from
there. Daycares are one of the easiest targets for pedophiles.” Though
he assured me he didn’t abuse any kids from that particular daycare, his words
haunt me yet. He was not a daycare worker, yet he still admitted that, as an
outsider, he could have abused any kid he wanted. My daughter goes to
daycare. I see TONS of gaping holes in which a pedophile could walk right
through. Access to your kid’s body is the key that unlocks your child’s
innocence. Period. I will establish the reasons why we should restrict access
to our children in this blog, then write about what those boundaries are in part
2.

WHY SET BOUNDARIES?

The reason why we do things is important. Most people don’t want to think
about the “why.” Not in this area. Our minds want to believe that “good” people
would never do these things to young children, especially a close family or
church friend. 40 million survivors of child sex abuse in our country alone will
tell you otherwise. So our easy answer is to teach our kids about “stranger
danger,” a useless strategy since the majority of molesters are groomers and
over 75% of molesters are known by the victim. But we feel better about
having taught our kids “safety” and so we blindly drop them off at daycare
without questioning their policies, we leave them alone with a babysitter or
nursery volunteer, granting unlimited access to our kids, we let them have
sleepovers at their friends’ houses–never thinking that mom, dad, or siblings
living in the house could be pedophiles, we drop them off at Kindergarten
without asking about safety policies, we pat them on the head as we drop
them off at Christian camp for the week, and we let the doctor examine our
children alone because he is, after all, a professional.

But guess what? Every single scenario I just mentioned are considered “high
risk” areas. They are called high risk because the main ingredient for the
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recipe of sexual assault is present in every one of them–access. While you
were worried about whether your kid will get along with other kids, or pass his
physical examination, or get good grades in school, you overlooked one vital
fact–you left your kid alone at a place where he or she can very easily be
isolated from the herd and be sexualized by an adult within seconds.

Am I too over protective? I get asked that a lot. Ask Dr. David Wilson, a
respected child psychiatrist and osteopathic physician and surgeon from
Ogden, UT who was charged last Monday for 15 counts of sexual exploitation
of a minor and who was looking at hundreds of graphic nude images of
children aged 6-12 on his office computer at the hospital where he worked.1
This is not an isolated incident. It. Happens. All. The. Time. I daily read of
stories of sex crimes committed against children–committed by family friends,
doctors, ministers, baby sitters, teachers–and the story is always the same:
“We never would have thought he was doing this to children.” Exactly.

Worse yet, the multitude of stories we read about in the news only include the
people who are getting caught. We have a responsibility to set real boundaries
for our kids. Unapologetically. And here’s the great irony–the more you
establish boundaries to keep your kids safe, the more you will be ridiculed by
family, friends, and peers. When they don’t care to understand the why, you
are just being a paranoid weirdo. But guess what? It’s not their kid! It is so
important to understand how pedophiles think, operate, groom, and gain
access to children. Without this understanding, you will never, ever, ever, ever
see the real need to set important boundaries for your kids’ protection.

I will write a follow up on what boundaries my wife and I have set for our
daughter, and how that is not adequate for her protection. More, not less,
needs to be done. We can do this without being paranoid or locking them in
their rooms for life. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Subscribe if you would
like to follow these important blogs. I’d love to hear some of the reasons why
some of you have set boundaries for your kids, and what (if any) backlash
you’ve received because of it.

Exploited Children in Churches and How Our Denial Fuels Abuse

September 10, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

Surprisingly, I had never heard of the televangelist sensation Todd Bentley until
a friend of mine showed me an outrageous Youtube video (thanks, John!).
Known as the “BAM, BAM, BAM” faith healer with hundreds of thousands of
followers”1, Todd is known for outrageous claims and violence on stage.

Though I believe that Todd is an embarrassment to Christianity and everything

that Jesus stands for, the purpose of this blog is not to poke fun at
Pentecostals. There are plenty of genuine Pentecostal/Charismatic believers
who openly distance themselves from Todd and others. The purpose is,
however, to generally demonstrate how easy it is for people to be blinded,
manipulated, and groomed into believing the unbelievable while denying the
reality of sexual abuse.
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I admit that I am, as millions of other viewers are, intrigued with Todd Bentley.
It is easy to get sucked into his videos because of the entertainment and shock
value. But I have a tendency to profile nearly everyone and the more I
watched Mr. Bentley, the more I began to see major red flags common to
pedophiles–narcissism, the ability to quickly groom a crowd and gain trust,
intentionally and unapologetically crossing boundaries (there is a video of Todd
kicking a man with stage 4 colon cancer in the gut and the man falls over in
pain), offering unwanted rewards, too helpful, too eager to be around children,
too aggressive when confronted, too good to be true, etc.

It didn’t take but a few minutes to find that Todd has a dark past and has
spent time in prison as a juvenile for sexually assaulting a 7 year old boy.
“They were sexual crimes,” Bentley admits. “I was involved in a sexual assault
ring. I turned around and did what happened to me. I was assaulted too.” “I
don’t like to talk about it publicly because it would hurt [my ministry],”
he concedes. “I don’t whip it out in the newspapers or on TV because people
will go ‘Whaaa?’ I’ll say ‘I was in prison, period. Let’s move on.’”2 It is subtle
and most people miss it, but narcissists begin most statements with “I.” Not
only that, but when Todd speaks, the focus is all about Todd. “I” don’t like to
talk about it. It would hurt “my” ministry. Sounds like a repentant sinner. . . or
does it? Contrast him with King David, a truly remorseful sinner: “For I am
ready to fall, and my pain is ever before me. I confess my iniquity; I am sorry
for my sin” (Psalm 38:17-18 ESV). Never mind, though, that a 7 year old boy
has to live the rest of his days with the shame and guilt that “you” placed on
him Mr. Bentley. We wouldn’t want that to get in the way of your ministry.

The fact that Todd admits “I turned around and did what happened to me”
would turn the head of every professional psychologist who works with
pedophiles, and it should church leaders as well. That fact is vital for public
disclosure, since adult pedophiles, who were themselves molested as children
more than 50 times, begin assaulting others at a much younger age (Todd
Bentley was 14 when he assaulted the 7 year old) and they commit well over
100 more acts of abuse as non-abused molesters (Gene Abel, The Stop Child
Molestation Book, pg. 321). Todd admits that he was part of a sexual assault
ring, which implies this was not a one time event that happened to him. If
Todd was abused more than 50 times, and if he had objective testing by a sex-
specific therapist showing that he is sexually attracted to children, he is by
clinical definitions a potential lethal weapon to children. But he will never
submit to testing, nor will any church demand he be tested. Mr. Bentley, who
divorced his wife in 2008 following an inappropriate relationship with his
current wife, says that the subject of his past sexual assaults on children is
“dead and buried to me.”3

Surely this stance is unacceptable to people who look up to Todd, right? When
pastor Denny Cline of Albany, OR, who happens to consider himself a “spiritual
son” of Todd Bentley, was asked about Todd’s past abuse with children, he
replied, “I don’t think he told me that, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.
It wouldn’t have mattered in regards to what he is doing now, and the person
that he is now…If he’s paid his debt to society and God’s forgiven him of
everything, then who am I not to forgive?” “4
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It wouldn’t have mattered anyway? To who? To the multiple young boys I’ve
seen in Youtube videos with Bentley wrapping his grubby arms around them on
stage as he nonchalantly caresses their shoulders? Should it matter to their
parents who either blindly, like pastor Cline and God TV 5, ignore the fact that
Bentley has a past of sexual assaults on a young boy, or who don’t know
because Bentley insists on hiding it?

We parents and church leaders further exploit children by denying that abuse
is going on in the churches. Children are extremely susceptible to suggestion,
vulnerable, and malleable. Before blindly shoving our children into the hands of
trusted church leaders, we ought to ask very hard questions and demand
transparency. I close with a disturbing clip of Chris Harvey, a friend of Todd
Bentley who put on quite the show when visiting Bentley at a Florida revival,
tapping into the susceptibility of very young children. Shame on us when
people like this go unquestioned by others:

Why I’m Not Celebrating Ariel Castro’s Suicide

September 4, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

I sifted through a couple hundred comments on news articles of Ariel Castro’s

suicide in his prison cell. “Good!” “Scumbag.” “Rot in Hell maggot.” “A cheap
funeral for tax payers.” “Coward, he can dish it out for 10 years but can’t take
it for 30 days.” Rest assured, the easy thing for the public to do is to celebrate
the death of someone who did such evil to innocent children. But it’s
apparently very hard to imagine what his family is going through right now.
Not one comment mentioned his family nor considered what they are
experiencing today.

I’ve heard the comments myself–“Your dad will probably be someone’s

girlfriend in prison.” “He’ll get his for what he did,” as if those thoughts bring
comfort. Don’t get me wrong, the horror that is waged on innocent kids is
devastating. But for Ariel Castro’s family, his suicide is just one more layer to
the complex sour onion of grief. And rest assured, the publicity and the
negative comments about their father/ex-husband don’t put a smile on their
face. Nor do they bring peace and comfort. To the family of a perpetrator,
death is just another humiliating reminder that the family is plagued with a
cloud of shame and embarrassment, and that the public shamelessly will hurl
insults and say things that make us want to find a bigger rock to hide under.

Ariel’s death will likely bring more questions to his family than it does answers.
Was his suicide a cop-out? Was he too selfish to endure prison? Did he feel
remorse for what he did and snap from the guilt? Did he really love his own
children? Who gets to plan the funeral? Will there be a funeral? Who, if any, of
the family should go? Who do they get to do the funeral? Where do they lay his
body to rest? Should he get a tomb stone? What will it say and who gets the
burden of writing the message? Who pays for the funeral? Will the media
smear us if we attend his funeral? Should I be glad that he is dead? If I go to
the funeral will that drive a wedge between me and my siblings? Should I be
sad that he is dead. . . or glad?
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These are just a few of the myriad questions that are going through the
family’s mind. I am the preacher of my family, so when my dad dies I will likely
be the one to take the lead in suggesting whether or not there will be a
memorial service. Most of my family has not spoken to dad since his arrest 2
years ago, and I fully respect that. It’s where they are right now in the grief
process. The betrayal was deep, manipulative, and disgusting. But one day he
will die. Some family members may never have a chance to speak to him
before he dies. They will have to process that. If there is a memorial, I will
have to find the right words to address the pain that is in our family. There
may be a majority of family who do not come.

Today, rather than join the drum beat of the public, I choose to pray for Ariel
Castro’s family and feel their grief. They have a lot to process in the days,
weeks, and years ahead.

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Jesus and Children

September 3, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

It’s a scripture that many avoid. We don’t want to believe that Jesus would
utter violent words, so when he does we pretend like he didn’t really say them.
But what if we took seriously Jesus defense of children? What if churches were
willing to go to war for the protection of the kids who were in their care? Jesus
is often painted as a fuzzy, cuddly kind of guy who was always soft spoken–a
pacifist who turned to the other cheek at all costs, even the cross.

But the reality is that Jesus sheds his nice-guy persona when children are
willfully led into darkness. Listen to his words: “He called a little child and had
him stand among them. And he said, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you change
and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child in my name welcomes
me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to
sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around
his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea‘” (Matthew 18:2-6
NIV). I’m not arguing that Jesus was talking about vigilante justice here.
Rather, he is talking about the justice of God. Over and over again Jesus talks
about judgment, exclusion from the Kingdom, and torment with weeping and
gnashing of teeth. God does not smile at abusers, pat them on the head, and
say, “There, there, my unfaithful servant. Just try harder next time.” And
neither does Jesus.

In fact, it is not often that we find Jesus visibly upset. But when children are
involved, the gloves come off. The word for “to become angry at” is only used
once of Jesus, and it appears in Mark 10:14: “People were bringing little
children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.
When Jesus saw this, he was indignant” (Mark 10:13-14 NIV). Jesus then
rebuked his disciples and took the kids in his arms to bless them. But only
after he tells them that anyone who doesn’t receive the kingdom of God like a
kid will never make it there. An angry Jesus. A Jesus who says a person would
54
be better off to have death by drowning than to cause a kid to sin. In other
words, “You think that downing was bad? You haven’t seen anything yet!” Let
that sink in for a minute.

After conducting a workshop on child abuse, a young woman came up to me in

tears. “I tried telling my mom that dad sexually abused me. She told me that I
probably just imagined it. A few years later I got the strength to talk to
someone at church about it. I was told that the Bible says to forgive and I
need to move on. How can I trust anyone anymore? Doesn’t God care that he
did this to me? I don’t even know if I believe in God anymore.”

When our response to abuse is a pacifist view, and when children are told to
“just get over it” or to “learn to forgive like the Bible says,” I wonder if some of
the wrath of God will not be reserved for them as well. I know–but their
intentions were good. They didn’t mean to harm a kid by telling them those
things. But guess what? They did. The last time I read my Bible cover to cover,
I failed to find where people are rocket launched to heaven for having good
intentions. We Christians are just as likely to “cause one of these little ones to
sin” as the abuser if we give them a picture of God as someone who couldn’t
care less about their abuse. And pulling scriptures out of context in order to
not have to face an uncomfortable conversation is no excuse for damaging
children’s eternal souls.

I’m just thinking out loud, but perhaps we should tell our sons and daughters,
our children in the pews, our students in the schoolroom that we’d be damned
(literally) if we would ever intentionally allow someone to harm them. I go out
of my way to tell my 3 year old daughter that I will always try to protect her
and that if anyone ever does something to hurt her she can always tell her
mom or me. Kids should feel protected. They were designed by a Creator to
feel safe and secure in a stable home. They shouldn’t have to fear that if they
tell mom and dad about something bad that happened, they will get in trouble
or be ignored. One night as I was putting my daughter to bed she said, “Dad,
you make me feel safe.”

We exchanged “I love you”-s and as I walked out of her room I fell apart. I
cried as I thought about the countless children who feel abandoned rather than
safe. It’s time to take a closer look at the anger of Jesus and live in His
shadow.

How Should Christians Treat Repentant Pedophiles?

August 20, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

On September 13, 2009 a small church in Louisville ordained a registered sex

offender as a minister of the Gospel. The man was a “changed man,” they
demanded. I personally think this was a foolish decision, for a host of reasons.
But questions abound on the internet from churches asking what to do with
registered sex offenders who wind up on their steps and in their pews. It’s a
fair question. I live in a small town with two (yes, two!) state prisons and
believe me, we do get released prisoners to show up, desperate for any help
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they can get. If you have followed my blog at all, you’ll know that pedophiles
are just like you and me on the outside–they are educated, religious,
productive, sophisticated, warm, and trustworthy. But what lies beneath the
skin is a genuine sexual attraction to children. Because we cannot see this
attraction, we tend to listen to the kind, charismatic words and see the
gentleness they exude. We view these people for what we see at face value–as
the kind old man who is warm and nice to our kids at church. We don’t want to
fathom that someone could ever think of a child in that way, let alone act out
on it. But they do. Ask my friend Les Ferguson. He describes his son’s molester
as a kind family friend. A kind man who did unimaginable things behind closed
doors and then murdered Les’ wife and son.

I’m currently reading Jaycee Dugard’s memoir A Stolen Life. If you have not
read it, get it today and read it. I mean it. Get. The. Book. Enter into the
bedroom of a victim before rushing to embrace the “repentant” pedophile. The
psychological abuse always accompanies the sexual abuse. God bless Jaycee.
She holds nothing back. What I read last night made it difficult for me to fall
asleep. Unimaginable. I am still haunted by the things this “nice man,” as she
describes him in the book,” named Philip Garrido did to her–for 18 hellish
years. I’m haunted by the things my dad, whom I always trusted and
respected, did to young children. I still can’t wrap my mind around it all.

I admire churches who trust that people have truly repented, I really do. But
pedophilia is a very complex issue and even the greatest professional people in
the field of psychology have been repeatedly fooled. One area that churches
need to become familiar with is recidivism (relapse) rates among pedophiles,
because you can rest assured that they will use the statistical data to help their
case. There are a number of common actuarial instruments currently used that
gage risk in incarcerated sex offenders. The Stable and Static99 are 2 common
instruments that are used. Without getting too technical, these instruments are
touted as being wonderful guides to tell us whether “reformed” pedophiles will
reoffend. Despite what you will hear from people who administer the tests,
they are definitely not reliable for predicting whether a sex offender will
reoffend. In fact, Dr. Anna Salter says this: “They do not measure the risk of
reoffending; they measure the likelihood of getting caught. No instruments are
able to measure the risk of reoffending, because there is no access to
offenders who continue to offend but who do not get caught” (annasalter.com,
“What Does Static99 Really Measure?).

The recidivism rate among registered sex offenders is lower than most other
crimes, at less than 10%. So most people get a false sense that, because the
recidivism rates are low, sex offenders really have an epiphany of sorts and
have “learned their lesson” from spending hard time in prison. This couldn’t be
further from the truth. I spoke with Dr. Salter directly and asked her what her
thoughts were on why recidivism rates were so low among sex offenders (she
is highly respected in the field of treating pedophiles, is a Harvard PhD, and
has been in the field for over 30 years). She told me that several studies show
that sex offenders have about a 3% chance of ever getting caught for any one
offense against a child. She told me, “In my experience, that number (3%) is
probably high. They just don’t get caught.” Reassuring, isn’t it?
56
Before churches swing open their doors and criticize people for standing in the
way of repentant sinners, remember that there is no other sin in this category
of such deep secrecy. It is the most successfully hidden secret and should be
treated as such. Simply because someone says they don’t offend kids anymore
doesn’t mean they aren’t actually doing it. One site asked the question (I can’t
remember the source), “If a pilot told you that the plane previously had
mechanical problems but they’re pretty sure there’s now only a 40% chance
that there will be an immediate mechanical failure, would you feel comfortable
flying?” Let’s factor in what we know about Gene Abel’s study and Anna
Salter’s experience–that pedophiles only have a 3% chance of getting caught
for any one offense. Here’s what that would look like:

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. We just spotted some thugs
dressed in black masks with a mechanic’s bag running from underneath the
plane. According to our instruments, there’s a 97% chance that they secretly
sabotaged this plane and badly damaged major components in the hydraulics
and main computer. We should be cleared for takeoff in about 3 minutes, so
make sure your seatbelts are fastened and enjoy the ride.” Any normal person
would be jumping out the window to get off that plane.

So, when we know what we know about recidivism rates, when we know what
we know about pedophiles avoiding getting caught at all costs, when we know
that there is no cure for pedophilia, and when we know that it is extremely
difficult to control pedophiles even after years of therapy, that should change
our perspective on repentance. We should now be the passengers on the plane
saying, “Something doesn’t feel right; it’s not safe to fly.” Paul preached all
over that people should “perform deeds in keeping with their repentance” (Acts
26:20 ESV).

Repentance needs to be proved. A repentant pedophile will perform deeds by

demanding that he not be near children again. A repentant pedophile doesn’t
ask for pictures (no matter how innocent they seem) of any children. A
repentant pedophile will renounce any internet use for the rest of his life, since
pornography and fantasy drive them to their core. A repentant pedophile will
not happily accept a role as minister where people now look to him as a
spiritual leader of old and, yes even very young, people. A repentant pedophile
will make sure that his presence is not traumatizing to survivors of child sex
abuse in the congregation. And if it is, he will gladly find another church and
not put up a fight. A repentant pedophile will not ask church members if he can
babysit their kids. Please beware of these things and let’s work together to
make our churches safe.

Where Are You, God? A Prayer

August 12, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

I sit in my chair looking across my neat desk into eyes that are sad. Just plain
sad. There is no mistaking the emptiness. It’s haunting, but even more so for
him. I can turn it off at the end of the day. He cannot. A burning question
comes back to me, “Is this loneliness and despair what God has in store for
57
me?” “Is it a sick game from a God who’s far more powerful than me?” It’s a
question too many people have, and too many people get irresponsible and
damning answers from religious leaders. Victims of abuse are told, “Just put
your trust in God,” as if that melts away the images of his sweaty body being
thrust upon them, forcing them into unimaginable acts. “Jesus Loves You, This
I Know,” one man sings as he’s raping his daughter.

Perhaps we preachers should allow people to cry out to God, to yell at him, be
mad at him, and to question him. Rather than offering useless clichés like,
“God is good, ALL THE TIME!” we should be saying, “My God, I can’t imagine.”
Though the person sitting in my office that day is not a victim of sexual abuse,
his feelings about God mirror many who are. I did not offer any “wise”
prescriptions for his personal life experiences. I simply listened. And cried.

I asked him if I could publish his prayer, because I believe there is grace,
eloquence, and brutal honesty in his words. I believe that people can benefit
from hearing his desperate cry to God. I believe preachers should be listening
to these types of prayers and, instead of offering cheap advice, offer hope by
identifying with the hurt. Here are the raw, unaltered words of his prayer:

„Almighty God, I humbly come before you now. I don’t know what your plan is
for me or if you even have a plan for me, but I need some assistance from
you. I know that you love and care for me deeply, which is why I don’t
understand why you let me suffer so much. I know that as Christians we are
called to suffer as Christ suffered for our sins to be forgiven, but why did you
make things to turn out this way? You are the one and only omnipotent God.
You could have made things to be anyway you wanted. It’s not like you had to
get anyone or anything else’s permission to make things the way you wanted,
you are the boss. I don’t get why you would make the penalty for sin death.
You could have made it something far less severe or even done away with
anything that would be considered sinful. Why did you choose to let people
suffer and die and burn in hell for all eternity? Just for the sake of giving us the
choice to serve you? Sorry, but if that’s the case I’d rather not have the choice.
I’d rather prefer you to control my actions and guide me along your desired
path than just saying: Okay, you’re born now, so you can choose to follow me
or suffer forever. I didn’t have a choice in being born, so why should that
change for the worst just because I have been born?

On another note, I don’t understand why good people suffer and evil people
get the riches of the earth. I know that in the end good godly people will be
rewarded with eternal life in Heaven and that wicked people will be cast into
Hell and die for all eternity, but this raises a question and a concern in my
mind. Why do good people have to wait? So, from my perspective, it doesn’t
make sense to punish people for doing good things and rewarding people for
living sinfully. That doesn’t seem like the Ideal way to convert sinners to
Christianity. Wouldn’t it be easier if living in a godly manner got the rewards
and leading a sinful life drove people into darkness such as poverty &
depression? I really feel that would be a better system than what we’ve got
right now (not trying to challenge you almighty God, I’m just saying that I
don’t understand anything you do at all).
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Anyways, I am suffering right now pretty severely. I don’t have a job, I’m not
in school, I have no money, I haven’t been to Church in months, I’m lonely,
I’m depressed, I’m anxious, I hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, socially,
and spiritually. And the worst part of all of this is that there is no end in sight
to any of these problems. In fact, I only see that most of them (if not all) will
be getting worse. God I apologize for this but why do you allow me to suffer so
much? Now I realize that there are people out there who have worse problems
than I do, but I am definitely in need of some divine intervention now.
God, I feel worthless. I feel that I have no point in existing. You’ve given me
reason to suspect that you do have a purpose for me by the fact that I could
have died twice now but didn’t. So, if you do have a purpose for me please tell
me what it is so that I can work on accomplishing that. And if I truly don’t
have a point or my point is to suffer, than I would like to opt out of this mess
that is my life. Please give me a life that is worth living. My entire life, from
birth to present, has been nothing but failure, pain, sorrow, grief, and torture.
I feel as though I cannot keep dealing with this fiasco for much longer
especially since I only see it getting worse.

I want to embrace life. I want to love and be loved. I want to experience joy
and happiness. Please let me. God, please help me now in my time of need.
It is in Jesus’ name that I say and ask these things and more. Amen.”

There’s a Pedophile In My Church: What Now?

August 6, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

This is a question that is not uncommon for me to get. Minister friends of mine
desperately ask what they should do when a known pedophile is in their
congregation. One friend told me, “We have two known pedophiles in our small
church and we have a very real threat of several families leaving as a result.
What do we do?” To compound the problem, I ask the question: “What should
we do about the unknown pedophiles in our churches?” The real threat is not
whether those families will leave the church. No, the real threat is that the
church, if no policy to protect children is in place, is at great risk of having
children sexually assaulted. The statistics are alarming, no matter which study
you look at. People who molest only have about a 3% chance of ever getting
caught (Dr. Gene Abel). They are hiding (quite well) and offending in our
churches. And there are lots of them. But wouldn’t a victim tell if he was being
abused by a trusted church member? Most likely not. A 2005 study (London et
al.) which surveyed 10 other studies shows that only 12%-18% of sexual
abuse is ever reported to authorities. Of those 12%-18% cases that are
reported, most will never be investigated.

At any rate, what of the pedophiles, rare as it may be, who repent of their sins
and ask for forgiveness? Isn’t that enough? Doesn’t the Bible simply tell us to
forgive and move on? Why dwell on the sins of the past? When leaders are
faced with this issue, should the pedophile stay or should he go? Too many
well-intentioned church leaders have been conned into believing that
pedophilia is as benign as dropping the occasional “f-bomb.” Or they have a
significant deficit of knowledge and experience in understanding how serious
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pedophilia is. They simplistically view it as a “wrong vs. right” issue, as if they
were dealing with someone who cut another off in traffic. And when the
offender asks for (or sometimes demands) forgiveness, it’s suddenly treated as
an issue that’s as simple as asking the offender to not commit that sin
anymore. This is most notable with known offending priests who are put into
sex rehab then transferred to the next diocese and given more unguarded
access to children. It’s strange to me when strong sympathies lie with the
offender instead of the victim. I once had a therapist tell me how pedophiles
get a bad wrap, and to a large degree this is true but they also have worked
very hard to get themselves there. He went on to tell me that they are
mistreated by having to register as sex offenders, marking them for life.
“Pedophiles,” he lamented to me, “are not welcome in churches either.”

But what about the victims, I thought? In my entire conversation with him,
ironically he never mentioned how bad of a wrap victims of abuse have it. He
never mentioned that they are marked for life, and that many victims of child
sex abuse often become victims of teen and adult rape, prostitution, drug
abuse, depression, PTSD, guilt, sexual displeasure or dissociation during sex,
shame, failed marriages, or worse. He never mentioned that many victims are
plagued with affective flashbacks–where a trigger such as a certain smell,
noise, or touch on the shoulder can inadvertently cause them to remember
their young bodies being violated as if they were actually experiencing it in
that moment. Affective flashbacks can happen at any time–at the dentist’s
office (a dentist opening the mouth often triggers affective flashbacks for
victims who were repeatedly forced to perform oral sex), in the shower, at
church–and most often the survivor doesn’t even know why she is having vivid
and grotesque images of her childhood abuse. There is no controlling it. There
is no “snapping out of it.” There is no “just getting over it.” It just happens.
And it haunts the mind. Victims and survivors of abuse are the forgotten souls.
To be sure, since my father’s arrest and subsequent sentence of 30-60 years,
I’ve had many concerned people ask me, “How’s your dad doing?” Oddly, I’ve
been asked once, “How are your dad’s victims doing?”

Worse, still, are the stories I hear of churches quoting Matthew 5:39 to victims
of abuse: “But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps
you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” The minister goes on:
“Young lady, God says that to the measure you forgive you will be forgiven.”
One pedophile bragged online of his biological daughter, “She loved it (the
stimulation of her genitals) so much that her face turned blood red! She looked
like she was about to pop!” His daughter was 2 years old. How, church leaders,
do we expect survivors of abuse to sing “God Is So Good” while we tower over
them and demand that God will judge them if they don’t “forgive and forget”
their abuser?

So what do we do when a known pedophile is in our congregation? It depends.

I’m talking here of pedophiles who make it known, or it becomes known by
some other source, that they have already been investigated or convicted.
Should an accusation come up about a suspected pedophile in the church,
always report it to authorities for them to investigate the allegation. It’s the
law. Never do an internal investigation. But in dealing with already-convicted
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pedophiles who find their way to your church, this is a deep theological
question that cannot be reduced to a few bullet points. I’m still wrestling with
finding proper tension between the abuser and the abused. Each congregation
is different, but the one constant that should remain the same is this: Do
what is in the best interest of victims and/or adult survivors of sexual
abuse in your congregation. If they are able to speak, listen to their voices.
Learn from them. Try to understand what they have been through and that
many of them may have been severely traumatized. This was not a slap on the
cheek. It was abuse. Gross abuse of the worst kind. And it probably didn’t
happen just once. Victims in our congregations need to hear from the pulpit
that we preachers don’t stand for abuse and that they are safe in our
congregations.

Second, have a clear safety policy in place. Should the known pedophile stay,
absolute conditions need to be placed upon him unapologetically. Pedophilia
does not go away simply because one has publicly repented. There is no cure
for it. Pedophilia can be controlled. It can never be cured. There need to be
crystal clear boundaries. The pedophile should never have any access to any
children whatsoever–this includes outside church activities as well. And this is
for the remainder of his life. One friend told me that at their church they have
designated men who escort a known pedophile anywhere he goes in the church
building. He is not allowed to sit in a pew with children or have any physical
contact with children. This is a good policy, and one that first takes the
protection of children into consideration. Other people may judge this as
overkill, but other people have not had their children brutally violated either.
Churches are very high risk places for sexual abuse because most people are
trusting and would never dream of someone abusing a child in broad daylight,
especially at church.

Third, assemble a group or committee to research abuse. Know the signs to

look for in an abuser. Know the signs to look for in a victim. Education is a
great beginning because we cannot be vigilant if we don’t know what we are
watching for. I’ve read about 30 books and countless articles on the subject so
far and have listed some of the most helpful books in my resources page. This
would be a great starting place.

Finally, never mistake forgiveness with trust. Forgiveness should never be

demanded of victims of abuse. They have been to hell and back and it may
take years and years until they are ready to begin forgiving. If others in the
church can forgive an offender, they should never equate forgiveness with
trust. They are two different things altogether. And the one who can forgive
(especially a non-victim) should never expect a victim to forgive just because
he was able to. To do so will only lead to revictimization.

Welcome to My Site on Child Sex Abuse

July 30, 2013 Jon_Jimmy

This is a brand new site on child sex abuse detection and prevention and I

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would like to welcome you! This site is by no means complete and will
continually expand and be updated. This site is designed for those who have
questions about child molestation and pedophilia and who want to take a stand
to become more educated in order to help protect children from sexual abuse.
It is also a place for victims of abuse to find answers and healing.

As the son of a pedophile who maintains regular contact with his father, though
he is currently serving a 30-60 year sentence, I also maintain regular contact
with many victims of child sexual abuse. It is a complex web and after reading
countless books, having countless conversations with pedophiles, counselors of
pedophiles, victims, and victims’ counselors, and after spending countless
hours wrestling with God and coming to grips with the sheer determination of
pedophiles to offend and abuse millions of innocent children, I humbly submit
that there are no easy solutions or answers. In other words, we cannot reduce
a solution to the problem with a simple prayer or a one page cheat-sheet on
what pedophiles look like and how we keep our kids from them.

As a minister, I have a particular interest in training churches in detection and

prevention, though I do train other professionals and the general public. Some
reliable statistics show that a little over 90% of pedophiles are regular church
goers, yet until my father was caught 2 years ago, I had gone my entire life
without hearing a single church speak on the topic of child sexual abuse. Not a
whisper. No churches that I’ve ever been to had policies in place to protect
children from predators. Many predators specifically target churches precisely
because of the naivety of Christians in general and the groomability of our
children. This can and should change.

This site will be a place where we all can hash out our questions, share
information, educate one another, cry together, and offer a glimmer of hope to
the millions of children who are currently or who have already been abused.
I’ve transferred a few blogs over from another site and will continue to blog
solely on this site from now on. And again I say, “Welcome!”

How You Dress Your Child Matters. . . to Pedophiles

June 19, 2013 jimmyhinton

It’s still striking to me how many of my friends (un)knowingly post shirtless

photos of their very young children on Facebook, making their children the
object of gazing eyes of trolling pedophiles. Really, pictures of your young child
bathing, swimming, or running around the house nude is not appropriate to
display to hundreds of people. And for those who think that I’m exceedingly
paranoid, just cruise Youtube for 30 seconds and you’ll find that there are
countless channels dedicated entirely to snapshots and videos of (even very)
young girls and boys which were stolen from Facebook accounts. Names of
videos like these dominate Youtube:
Young hotties
Very young hotties dancing
Young cutie teen shaking her butt on cam

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Collection of hot young pinay girls
Young hottie dancing (about 8 or 9 years old)
Young girl dancing with hot style
Facebook hot girls
Jailbait
Hot sexy girls self shots

What’s even more disturbing is how young girls have been endorsed by their
parents to display themselves in public. With shrink-wrapped shorts and shirts
which grossly display butt cheeks and cleavage, voyeurs don’t have to take to
social media sites to have their imaginations stimulated. In fact, Facebook,
Twitter, Youtube, and the like are all just bonuses to real life encounters.
Unlimited, free still and video images are up for grabs and here’s the kicker. . .
unless they are explicit images of underage children, it’s all legal. As one
whose father is a convicted pedophile who is in prison for the rest of his life, I
told him that I now educate people on how to protect their children from
molesters like him. As a result, he has given me invaluable insight into (1)just
how easy it is for molesters to offend, especially in Christian places where
people are typically way too trusting of everybody and (2)how to protect
children from abusers. His answers are not atypical from other molesters so
instead of quoting him directly, I will paint commonalities among a sample of
many offenders which I’ve gathered from books, training workshops, training
videos, and further research about and conversations with pedophiles.
Hopefully people will take heed and begin to take steps to protect their
children.

Point #1–Porn steers people toward pedophilia, normalizes it, and accelerates
the need to view harsher, cruder, and younger images. What’s frightening is
how normalized, mainstream, and available porn has become. What’s more
frightening is just how many are viewing it. Pornography drives the
imagination and the imagination dumps fuel onto human desire, confusing the
desire for more stimuli with the need for more. Porn also blurs the line
between fantasy and reality. Philip Jenkins, author of Beyond Tolerance: Child
Pornography on the Internet notes that pornographers quickly learned that by
falsely offering child pornography sites, they have captured a huge audience
with which they are gaining massive profits. Though the females are 18 or
older, Jenkins rightly notes that “countless ‘adult’ images portray grown women
as schoolgirls or with shaved pubic hair. While the patrons of adult magazines
or Web sites would be appalled to be told they had anything in common with
the loathed pedophiles, some of the psychological stimuli are related. . . those
interested in child pornography might not be so far removed from the ‘normal’
population. The gulf with normality is all the narrower when the materials in
question involve young teenagers” (p. 30).

Viewing pornographic images, including child pornographic images, in public

schools is nothing new and is actually quite common. A friend of mine works IT
at a public school and, though there is a substantial firewall in place,
pornographic images are accessed very often by staff and students. Donald
Cherry, a 27 year old history teacher in Tulsa, had three students aged 14-16
catch him looking at pornography. When the students asked to see the images
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again, Cherry allowed them to view the porn. He was eventually caught and
the investigation revealed 8 pictures of child porn on his computer. At his
sentencing, Cherry said, “I’m very big into escapism and leaving reality
behind” (Pamela Paul, Pornified, p. 177). The reality, Mr. Cherry, is that those
graphic images of children in compromised poses were really taken by some
pervert who exploited the innocence of those children for your “escapism.”

It is no secret that porn is constantly pushing the limits on what is “normal.”

Children who enter the porn industry at 18 are being made to look younger
and younger and are forced to do more and more. Hardcore lewd sex acts such
as anal penetration, double penetration, gangbangs, ATMs (ass to mouth),
transgender sex, sadism, homosexuality, and bestiality are leaving less and
less to the imagination for casual viewers. It’s no wonder tens of thousands of
men are suffering from erectile disorders in real life and are forcing their
sexual partners to perform the same lewd acts they see on their monitors,
including making them shave pubic hair and dress up as schoolgirls (Ibid, 211-
238). But don’t take my word for it. In the words of a pedophile, “If you want
to cut the snake off at the head, address the pornography issue.” And so I do.

Point #2–Fantasy, especially masturbatory fantasy, sustains molesters’

momentum. I will address the dress code for your children in the next point,
but it cannot be emphasized enough that constant fantasy motivates and
drives the molester. A couple months ago I was in Michigan visiting my in-laws.
Our 3 year old daughter loves to ride carousels, so we have a tradition of going
to the mall and letting her ride with Grandma and Grandpa. I watch people. An
older man looked out of place and could not take his eyes off the carousel.
Every time a certain young child went around (thankfully it was not my
daughter or I may be in jail), he became fixated on her. When she got off, the
next group came on. Same thing. I quickly learned that he preferred girls
about 8 years old with long dark hair, tight shorts, and dark complexion. Every
time. We left the mall and came back a couple hours later. My daughter wanted
to ride the carousel one more time. This same creep was in the same spot
watching and fantasizing about his next victim. I reported him to the operator
and she said, “I didn’t notice until you told me, but that same guy was here for
several hours last night.” She called security on him. What we may view as
innocent, the pedophile manipulates, fantasizes about, and masturbates to the
images he has stored in his mind. Be aware of who is gazing upon your
children at all times.

Though this video is dated, it shows that imagination plays a huge role in
pedophiles. Here, they act out their fantasies with children in a virtual
playground:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc0C9k5tQRw&w=420&h=315]

Point #3–How you dress your child matters. . . to the pedophile. Most of us
don’t give a 2nd thought to how we dress our very young children. We’re just
glad to get them out the door without any major meltdowns! But molesters will
tell you that how you dress your child plays a significant role in whether or not
they will begin targeting your child for the grooming process. According to
pedophiles, the following is what most likely will grab their attention (this
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includes children as young as infants). Cute sundresses, especially if
underwear is exposed when they are playing. Tight clothing, including shirts
and shorts. Anything that is revealing whatsoever. Done up hair, like cute
braids or pig tails. This doesn’t mean you can never braid your kids’ hair. Just
beware that by doing so your child is becoming more appealing to child
molesters.

What will deter a molester? Loose fitted clothing. Plain hair. Jeans. If wearing a
dress, let it be at least knee length and don’t allow underwear to be exposed. I
would add NEVER post nude pictures of your young child on social websites
and NEVER allow your child to post revealing pictures on their social pages.
This includes “sexy” pictures in front of a mirror, swimsuit poses, etc. Though
it’s not common, people have used geotags in photos to show up at strangers’
houses. But the point is that thousands of Facebook and Twitter images are
being trolled for every day by pedophiles. They steal, copy, and distribute
pictures of your child without your ever knowing it. Be wise. Set your photos
on Facebook to a private setting so that only friends can see your pictures. And
don’t friend a bunch of random people you don’t personally know. To do so is
to invite disaster.

Point #4–It is embarrassingly easy for molesters to groom and offend

children. It does not have to be done in the quiet of the night, either. Quite
often, children are abused in front of their parents and the parents have no
idea. Watch the way other people touch your children. A good rule of thumb I
have is, keep your gropy hands off my kid. I’ve read account after account of
molesters who slip a hand inside a shirt or rub up against genitalia purposely in
front of the child’s parents as a test (they are testing groomability of the child).
The parents surprisingly don’t notice because they’re not looking for it. I do. I
recently was visiting a church and was holding my daughter. An old man came
up and as I was holding my daughter he kept poking his finger into her
stomach. She obviously didn’t like it but he persisted. I almost lost it. I kept
my composure but turned my back on him and made a rude comment that he
heard. I don’t care. She is my daughter and I have a obligation to protect her
the best I know how. So do you.

**Editor’s Note** After I first published this blog, a good friend of mine who
is also a therapist made some very valid points and I would like to clarify. I am
not saying that, if you dress your child a certain way, he or she will become a
victim of abuse. There are many types of offenders, from sadists (who are the
minority), to grabbers (also a minority), to groomers (the majority),
opportunists, etc. They carefully select the most vulnerable child and will
molest them no matter what they are wearing. But I did want to make the
point that masturbatory fantasy is extremely important in pedophiles to the
point of obsession. We must be careful not to make our children more
vulnerable by being careless about posting pictures of them with little or no
clothing.

The number one thing that pedophiles are looking for is access. Can I groom
the parent to allow me time alone (i.e. babysitting, “fun day,” field trip, bathing
them, etc.) with their child? Some pedophiles are persistent. Others will
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quickly back away if access is denied.

Facebook: Playground for Pedophiles

February 20, 2013 jimmyhinton

As I study pedophilia, trends of child sex abuse and exploitation, and ways to
prevent abuse, it becomes excedingly clear: pedophiles brazenly abuse right
before our very eyes. If you think this is an exaggeration, it is not. It is a rule
that is as true as the law of gravity. Always. To make matters worse, churches
are the primary target for sex offenders. There are a number of reasons, but
the main reason is that access to children is abundant and unhindered, in most
cases. There is a high level of naivety among churchgoers, and we want to
believe the best in others. I know, I am a minister. That’s what we believe
about Scripture and about God–that God can and does transform people. Here
is where we have a major blind spot, though. We believe that our churches
house those transformed people, and that very little sin exists within our four
walls, especially if the majority of our attendees are Christian. Unfortunately,
this is not completely true. In fact, the more we adhere to that belief system,
the easier it is for pedophiles to fly under the radar within our churches.

Worse yet, pedophiles will find the path of least resistance. Always. They find
locations, people, and media outlets where they can find safety in numbers,
where people (adults especially) are easy to groom and fool, and where the
exploitation of your children can take place unabated. The more I am in
ministry, the less naive I am becoming. It saddens me to see how many of my
Facebook friends unknowingly place pictures of their children into the hands of
pedophiles. While pictures of your prepubescent children bathing are cute to
you, they have no place on Facebook. Neither do pictures of them at their
dance recitals, in bathing suits, or the like. And if your settings for the pictures
are pulic, they are being copied and traded among pedophiles on Facebook.
You can count on that. Again, if you think I am exaggerating, I have witnessed
blatant pedophilic trading on Facebook first hand. It is pulic, it happens every
minute of every day, and it is a thriving business. I commend the work of
activist Raymond Bechard, who created the website
stopchildpornonfacebook.com.

I have posted a video below of Raymond unpacking the world of child porn on
Facebook below. I must warn you that it is extremely disturbing and must be
viewed with discretion. Anyone who has a child or grandchild, and especially
anyone who has pictures of your children on Facebook, needs to be aware of
the risks you may be putting them at. I am fully aware that this is not a
popular subject, but I assure you that the more we ignore it, the more we
create paths of least resistance.

*** WARNING–The following content, while censored, is still extremely

disturbing to those not familiar with child abuse. Use your discretion and do
not allow your children to view ***
[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/41583927 w=500&h=375]

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http://www.michaelhanegan.com/blog/silentcofc-the-trust-deception-jimmy-
hinton

#SilentCofC: The Trust Deception

By Jimmy Hinton

August 6, 2014

Today's guest post is from my new friend Jimmy Hinton. He serves as the
minister at the Somerset Church of Christ in Somerset, Pennsylvania. He
writes often about issues of abuse at his blog and is in the initial launch of his
new ministry, Church Protect. Jimmy's journey into helping the Church think
about the scope and cost of child sexual abuse came in the aftermath of
learning that his father, a Church of Christ minister, was a pedophile with
dozens of victims. His voice is important in our fellowship and I am thankful for
his contribution today.

WARNING: Jimmy doesn't sugar-coat the nature of abuse. This is important,

but for some, especially those who have been victimized in the past, it may
serve as a trigger. For the rest of us, please consider Jimmy's honest and
unsanitized perspective as an exercise in learning empathy for victims of this
horrific evil.

I had just spoken as a keynote at a large conference for professionals who deal
with abuse. For many theological and psychological reasons that I won’t
unpack here, I take a strong stance that pedophiles should not have access to
our children, even (especially!) in worship. A man came up to me after my
speech and said, “You’re a preacher and you say that pedophiles and children
should be separated.” “Yep,” I said unflinchingly. “Let me just ask you, where
is the trust and forgiveness in that?” I assured him that mistaking forgiveness
and trust is a grave mistake. They are not the same thing. We can forgive
people who should never be trusted again. It’s a strange notion that we
somehow magically believe that people who say, “Sorry” will never struggle
with temptation again.

This man’s response is not uncommon among church leaders. I regularly get
challenged by people who have never spent time either with a pedophile or
with their victims. They haven’t had to face the reality of witnessing the lies,
manipulation, and denial from pedophiles. Nor have they heard the horror
stories from survivors who were humiliated, stripped naked, poked, prodded,
and caressed with the tongues and fingers of their perpetrators. I have. And I
acknowledge what the Bible and psychologists both agree upon—Children
need responsible adults to protect them.

When I shared this man’s response with my ministry partner, who happens to
counsel incarcerated sex offenders, without hesitation he offered me the
following advice.

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 “Always keep a 3x5 notecard and a pen in your pocket. Next time someone
is adamant that you are ‘unfair’ and need to integrate pedophiles into your
church, take down their name and personal number. Write down their home
address as well as their church address, number, times of service, etc. And
just tell them, ‘You know what? You’re right and I’m wrong. Pedophiles do
need a place to worship among children. We are not equipped to make that
happen but we are willing to pay for the flight, bus ticket, gas, or whatever
to send the next pedophile we meet directly to your home. Thank you so
much for agreeing to integrate them into your own home and church.’”

Now before anyone draws too harsh a judgment, let me be clear. I want
pedophiles to be redeemed. I’m not arguing that we ban them from church
unless, of course, they show no signs of remorse or repentance. What I’m
arguing is that, according to the Bible, we have the highest calling to protect
our children and so, pedophiles who have repeatedly perpetrated upon children
have no business being surrounded by them. We should offer an alternative
worship service without kids where temptation does not cause a repentant
pedophile to stumble. We do it with drug addicts. We don’t serve booze to
alcoholics. So why do we insist that we serve our children on a platter to
someone whose appetite is so insatiable that he or she has repeatedly stripped
a child of their clothes, innocence, and decency? God “does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:33), so why do we?

The most common cliché I hear from churches who insist on not taking any
precautions to protect their children is this—“We have a group of volunteers we
trust so why would we upset them by demanding background checks and
watching over them every time they want to serve?” Great question. Let me
tell you about a story of a man who trusted his own father. . . who happened
to be a well-respected father and preacher! My dad has dozens of victims who
all have dramatic stories of shame, pain, and humiliation. He was able to gain
access to children precisely because everybody trusted him. Let me also tell
you about hundreds of other people who have shared similar stories with me
as I listen to their painful stories. They all tell a similar story: “Nobody
questioned my abuser because he was the guy everyone loved and trusted.”

I can assure you that if you are, like I was at one time, looking for the creepy
guy standing behind the bushes by the ice cream truck, you’re looking in the
wrong place. A successful pedophile is not someone who offended a child and
got away with it. No, a successful pedophile is someone who offended children
over and over while gaining the love, respect, and trust from those closest to
him. The successful pedophile is the last person anyone would suspect as an
abuser and the first person someone would choose to care for their kids. And
there is a lot of success out there, especially in our churches. My dad once
wrote me from prison, “Churches and Christian daycares are the easiest places
to offend.” Touché.

I call this the “trust deception.” We Christians are deceived precisely because
we want to trust. Dr. Gene Abel did a massive study among over 1,000
pedophiles and found that 93% of them identified themselves as religious.
That’s a huge deal! We picture pedophiles as monsters with 3 heads who deny
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God and mock Jesus. It’s simply not true. The vast majority of them believe in
God and identify as Christians. The reason I make such a huge deal about this
is because religious people typically go to church! If 93% of pedophiles are
religious, that means the majority of pedophiles are frequenting your churches.
It gets worse.

The reason churches are among the highest risk for sex offenses to occur is
that we have created the perfect storm. As the famed Dr. Anna Salter once
told me, “They (churches) are such inviting targets.” There are 3 main
ingredients to our Molotov concoction:

1. Christians by nature are generally naïve. Quite honestly, we don’t

want to know what kinds of things happen outside our own happy
bubbles. It disrupts our happy time and forces us to think about
something tragic and actually do something about it. Let’s be honest—
prophets like Jeremiah weren’t exactly known for gaining converts
through uplifting sermons.
2. Churches are desperate for volunteers. When someone—heck when
anyone—volunteers to help out, especially with kids, we describe them
as “gifts from heaven.”
3. We wrongly trust everyone because “church folk” are safe people
and church is a safe place. Wrong! Going to church makes a person a
trusted individual no more than standing in a garage makes them a car.
The only way church will be a safe place is if we make it a safe place.
And this can be done. The refusal by many church leaders to adopt
healthy policies to protect their kids is mind-numbing.

There are 42 million survivors of child sex abuse in the United States alone. As
someone who does church consulting and regularly conducts workshops on
abuse in the Churches of Christ across the nation, let me tell you, it is an
epidemic. Am I an alarmist? No, I’m a realist. Just in the last few months, I’ve
had somewhere around 100 survivors of child sex abuse share their stories of
churches either actively covering up accusations of abuse or just flat out
denying that it happens. Shame on us. We can do better than this for the very
children Jesus called us to imitate. Christ became indignant when his disciples
blocked them from coming near him. How much more indignant should we
become when church leaders deny children a safe environment to worship?
Children should not have to cower in fear every time they enter an assembly to
worship. Let’s vow to do better at preventing abuse.

Child & Youth Protection Policy

______________Church

Church Protect, Inc.

2016-2017 Child & Youth Protection Team: __________________________

Theological Foundations:

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We believe that each person is created in the image of God and so deserves
care, respect, and honor. God calls us to share our lives together in the
Church, which is also described as a body in Scripture.[1] In this body, each
person is valuable and indispensable.

We recognize that our sinfulness and denial can blind us to the importance of
others, particularly vulnerable people such as children. Their voices are often
silenced, distorted, or not heard at all. Yet Jesus’ words ring in our ears, “Let
the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of God
belongs to such as these.”[2] Since we desire to follow Jesus, we also seek to
welcome and care for children and other vulnerable people God has created.

We want _____________church’s building to serve as a sanctuary, a refuge

for all people, where grace is extended and received. Jesus invites all people to
come and follow, so we long for all people to find a home among God’s people.
At the same time, we will take drastic measures to protect the flock against
ravenous wolves who masquerade in sheep’s clothing. Since the Church serves
as a representation of God’s Kingdom, we are called as Christ’s ambassadors
to make this building a place of shalom, a place where God’s peace reigns.

Yet the Church is not a building. We, God’s people, are the Church. So,
wherever we go, we want to bring the good news that all people are valuable.

We believe that God’s healing and hope happens best in safe spaces. We want
____________ church to serve as a sanctuary where God’s grace can flow into
people’s lives, where God transforms people into more of whom God created
them to be, so that God is glorified.

This policy outlines the church’s expectations for appropriate behavior

regarding the care and supervision of children and youth. We desire
____________ church to be a safe place where abusive words and actions are
not tolerated and where staff and volunteers who work with children and youth
are protected from false or wrongful allegations. We hold zero tolerance for
any form of abuse.

Definitions:

To view your state’s current definitions of abuse, statutes, and reporting

procedures go to[3]:

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-
policies/state/?hasBeenRedirected=1

Any recent act or failure to act is defined as occurring within the last two
years.

Sexual Harassment is a form of sex discrimination prohibited by Title VII of

the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It consists of inappropriate verbal or physical
conduct of a sexual nature that has the purpose or effect of unreasonably
interfering with an individual’s sense of well-being by creating an intimidating,

70
hostile, or offensive environment from the viewpoint of the affected individual.
The Pennsylvania Human Relations Act defines it as follows:

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, constitute sexual

harassment when (1) submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or
implicitly a term or condition of an individual’s employment, (2) submission to
or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for
employment decisions affecting such individual or (3) such conduct has the
purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work
performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive working
environment.

Although in a legal sense, the term “sexual harassment” deals with the
workplace, the sexual harassment of anyone – including all adults and children
– is prohibited in this church.

Sexual Misconduct includes: child sexual abuse (defined above); sexual

harassment (defined above); rape and sexual contact by force, threat or
intimidation; sexual behavior, which includes but is not limited to offensive,
obscene, or suggestive language or conduct; unacceptable visual contact; and
touching or fondling which is injurious to the physical or emotional health of
another. Sexual misconduct directed toward a person of any age is prohibited
in this church.

An Approved Adult is anyone at least 18 years of age who has satisfied the
requirements of this Child Protection Policy. An Approved Adult can be an
employee or non-employee of the congregation. Approved Adults include, but
are not limited to all staff, Sunday school teachers, Children’s Church leaders,
youth group leaders, hall and foyer monitors, and nursery volunteers. For VBS,
each station will have at least one Approved Adult and each group of rotating
crews will have at least one Approved Adult.

A Hall Monitor is an Approved Adult who has all of his/her up-to-date

clearances. There must be a trained Hall Monitor on duty at every regular
church gathering at the building. His/her responsibilities are outlined on pages
6 & 7 of this policy under #6, “Empty Room Policy/Random Building Sweeps.”

Child & Youth Protection Team (CYPT) – Implements and enforces the
Child & Youth Protection Policy at ____________________Church.

The CYPT shall consist of a minister, one adult approved by the elders, and any
other church member who has experience working in any professional field
with victims of abuse. In other words, there should be at least three people on
the team. At least one team member should be a parent of a minor who
attends_________________ Church. All members of the committee will be
approved by the Elders or church board.

This team of committed people will:

1. Implement and enforce this Child & Youth Protection Policy.

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 2. Review and make recommendations to the elders and deacons for
revising congregation policy regarding the safety of our children/youth.
3. Provide up-to-date training for all staff and Approved Adults working with
the children/youth regarding child abuse and the Child & Youth
Protection Policy.
4. Maintain a list of Approved Adults and disseminate within the church
community.
5. Monitor Approved Adults to ensure that policies are being followed.
6. Keep elders informed of all activities of the committee.
7. Keep elders/board members informed of investigations.

The Church Secretary, with the assistance of a minister at

______________church, will:

1. Review all applications, making sure they are completed for the elders to
approve.
2. Collect and forward requests for clearances, with cover letters, to State
Police and Department of Public Welfare; as well as FBI Fingerprint
clearances for staff.

A minister at _________________Church will:

1. Maintain all clearances.

2. Receive and process reports of suspected abuse.
3. Make available, upon request of an individual, his/her clearance reports.

The CYPT Chair will be approved by the elders and will:

1. Ensure that required forms are received for all applicants and proper
records are maintained.
2. Call meetings as often as needed, but no less than once each year

Policies and Procedures:

Selection of Approved Adults

To protect the children/youth in our care, the following guidelines are

established for those who desire to work with children/youth less than 18 years
of age.

Approved Adults must:

1. Be at least 18 years old.

2. Attend ________________ Church for a minimum of 6 months or be a
staff member. Volunteers who have attended for fewer than six months
may work with children if an Approved Adult is also present, and they
submit a recommendation from their previous minister or elders.
3. Complete an Approved Adult application form (see appendix).
4. Sign and comply with the Child Protection Covenant (see appendix).

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 5. Complete the required clearance forms: 1) _______ State Police Request
for Criminal Record Check, and 2) _____Child Abuse History Clearance
Form (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-
policies/state/?hasBeenRedirected=1).

Clearances are required for all applicants and must be renewed every
3 years.

6. Attend a standard initial training session which will cover the:

 Child & Youth Protection Policy,

 Procedures to follow for all children and youth activities,
 Appropriate steps to report an incident of child abuse, and
 _________state laws regarding child abuse.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/laws-
policies/state/?hasBeenRedirected=1)

Required Clearances

Church volunteers may or may not be required by the Child Protective Services
Law (CPSL) to obtain background checks. However, most churches have, and it
is a wise practice to have, policies requiring volunteers to obtain the following
clearances:

Child Abuse History Clearance Form

State Police Request for Criminal Record Check Form

These background checks will be repeated every 3 years (check your

state’s requirements) and after a break in attendance of more than 18 months.

Prospective employees applying to engage in occupations with a significant

likelihood of regular contact with children, in the form of care, guidance,
supervision or training must obtain background checks as a condition of
employment. This would include (for example) a Minister, Youth Minister, and
other church staff expected to have regular contact with children.

In addition, paid church staff hired July 1, 2008 and after with a
significant likelihood of contact with children must also obtain FBI clearance
(fingerprinting) in addition to the above background checks. The congregation
will pay for these clearances and for the clearances required for Approved
Adults.

Records

Applications and related forms for staff and volunteers will be locked in a
confidential file under the jurisdiction of the elders of the
______________Church. Clearances are confidential and will only be made
available to current minister and elders of the congregation.

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The designated Minister on the CYPT will follow these recordkeeping steps:

1. Create and maintain a master list of all staff and volunteers who have
regular contact with children in the course of their work.
2. Determine which reports the congregation possesses, and note the dates
of the reports on the list;

 For such staff and volunteers who do not have the required background
check reports, or in cases where the required reports are over three (3)
years old, new reports are required.

3. Note on the list when the reports need to be renewed, and note on the
list the date 60 days before to initiate the process of obtaining renewed
reports

 New reports are to be obtained every three (3) years from the date of
the existing reports.
 New reports are required for all staff and volunteers who have had an
18-month break in attendance.

4. Retain copies of all reports, even ones that are superseded by renewed
reports, in confidential locked files.

General Guidelines for Protection of Children and Youth

To ensure that a nurturing Christian environment for children/youth is

maintained within the congregation, to protect children/youth who participate
in activities sponsored by the church from sexual, mental, and/or physical
abuse, and to protect the congregation’s members from false allegations of
abuse, the congregation has adopted the following policy:

1. Child Abuse Prohibited: Those who accept the special responsibility of

working with the congregation’s children/youth shall not violate that
responsibility by causing physical injury, which is non-accidental; mental
injury, which is non-accidental; sexual abuse or serious physical neglect
of children/youth.
2. Sexual Abuse Prohibited: Those who accept the special responsibility
of working with the congregation’s children/youth shall not violate that
responsibility by having any interaction with a child/youth where the
child/youth is being used for sexual stimulation of the adult or a third
person regardless of whether or not the behavior involves touching.
3. Two Approved Adults Rule: Two Approved Adults should be present
during any church sponsored children/youth activity. In a mixed group,
whenever possible, a male and a female Approved Adult should be
present. If two Approved Adults are not available during Sunday school,
in the nursery, or during Children’s Church, the door to the room must
be left open at all times. A designated Approved Adult will circulate
outside the classroom or nursery area and be within easy reach to
provide assistance if needed.

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 4. Visibility: All activities/meetings with children/youth must be conducted
in a way that allows visibility, e.g., glass areas of doors should not be
obstructed, curtains/blinds should be open, when possible, door should
be open or a window should allow easy observation of the room. Where
possible, conduct activities in a public place, with another person within
sight and sound of the activities.

Because abuse is sometimes perpetrated by an older, stronger child/youth, do

not send two children/youth with a four or more year age difference to an
isolated setting, e.g., bathroom, tent, empty classroom.

5. Bathroom and Diapering

In general, children should be encouraged to use the bathroom before and

after classes or other activities. In this way parents can assist their own child
as needed

If you need to take a child to the toilet, be aware of your visibility and the
child’s privacy. A teacher or helper must call the designated hall monitor(s) on
a walkie-talkie and request assistance in taking a child to the restroom. There
are no exceptions to this rule. Because bathrooms are a very high risk area
for sexual abuse, there must always be two adults when a child is using the
bathroom. The adults should allow younger children to use the bathroom in
private and should only assist the child if the child asks. Both adults must be
present at all times when a child is being assisted with wiping or pulling pants
up/down, and bathroom stalls should be left partially open. This protects the
child from being abused, but it also protects adults from false allegations of
abuse.

Diapering: Two Approved Adults or one Approved Adult with a youth nursery
worker must be present when clothes or diapers are being changed. A parent
can also be recruited to change clothes or a diaper for their own child.

6. Empty Room Policy/Random Building Sweeps

After an activity, check rooms to ensure that all participants have vacated the
room. Empty rooms will be kept locked at all times. There are no
exceptions. At least one approved hall monitor should be trained and used
each time people assemble at the building for church worship/functions. They
must be equipped with a walkie-talkie and will conduct at least two random
sweeps through the building during class/worship time. Their role is to ensure
that lone children/adults are not roaming the building. They also should check
all doors to ensure that unused rooms are indeed empty and locked. They
should be aware of isolated corridors throughout the building and ensure that
no child is ever being isolated in these high risk areas. The hall monitor(s) are
also on call throughout the entire class/worship times via walkie-talkie to assist
teachers and/or helpers in taking children to bathrooms or assisting in
escorting sick/unruly children back to the parents.

7. Expressions of Affection

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True expressions of affection toward children/youth can be a manifestation of
Christ’s love for all of us. A kind word of encouragement to a child/youth or a
pat on the back can be a small but significant act for both the adult and the
child/youth. That being said, adults must use caution and common sense when
physically expressing affection toward children/youth.

a. Respect a child's/youth's refusal of affection.

b. Adults will not initiate physical contact with minors under any
circumstance. If a child initiates a hug with an adult, the adult must keep
hands within proper physical boundaries, but an adult cannot initiate the
physical contact. The reason is three-fold: (1)It is our experience that children
often are molested both over and under their clothing in churches. Others miss
it because they are not looking for it. (2)Children who may have been abused
are often triggered by even benign touch. It’s best for adults to not initiate
physical contact for this reason. (3)Other adults could easily interpret physical
contact with a minor as inappropriate and secretly launch an investigation on
the adult.

c. Discipline of any type involving physical contact is never permitted. Anyone

who uses physical force on a child should immediately be reported to proper
authorities.

8. Permission Slips:

General-Children/youth must have permission to participate in activities.

Parents/guardians need to fill out and sign a general consent form and a
Medical Release Form, which includes pertinent medical information and
emergency phone numbers (see appendix). These forms will be updated every
year and filed in the church office.

Specific-Children/youth not accompanied by a parent must have permission to

participate in any overnight activity or any activity that takes place away from
church grounds. The permission must be written, signed by a parent or
guardian, and must identify the activity in which the child/youth will be
participating. The Minister on the CYPT may waive the requirement for
permission slips where a permission slip serves no useful purpose (for example
when a child/youth is accompanied by his or her parent or guardian to the
activity).

9. Medical Release Forms for field trips: All youth participating in a

youth group or going on a field trip with either a youth group or the
Sunday school, must have a Medical Release Form on file before they will
be allowed to participate.

 The form must be completed by parents/guardians and returned to the

Church Secretary.
 A copy of the completed form will be kept on file in the church office.
 Each time a field trip or overnight event occurs, the original must be
taken with an adult leader while a copy remains in the church office.

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 10. Overnight Activities: Overnight activities involving
children/youth shall be chaperoned by at least two Approved Adults.
Boys and girls will sleep in separate areas with at least two Approved
Adults of the same gender directly supervising each group. If the
minimum level of supervision cannot be achieved, the activity must be
cancelled.

11. Transportation of Children/Youth: When children/youth are

transported for church activities, they must be transported in groups
with at least one Approved Adult in each vehicle. An Approved Adult
cannot transport any less than two children in his or her vehicle unless
accompanied by another adult (the 2nd adult does not have to be an
Approved Adult). This does not include transportation to and from
__________Church, or another designated meeting point, which is the
responsibility of the parent/guardian. If necessary, a student may drive
himself or herself and take student passengers to youth activities if a
written request from all parents involved is granted by the Elders.

12. Personal Vehicle Transportation. To transport children/youth in

a personal vehicle, the driver must be 19 years of age or older. Drivers
must have a copy of their driver’s license, registration, and proof of
insurance on file in the church office. This will be updated on a yearly
basis. Anyone who has had their license revoked or suspended within the
past five years will be ineligible to drive for youth activities.

Appropriate Supervision Ratios

Overnight activities on or off church property:

Ratios of adults to children/ youth

Plus one additional adult for

Maximum Number of Approved
Grade each additional number of
number of Youth Adults required
youth
Pre-
school - 4 2 4
3
4–5
6 2 4
grade
6 - 12
6 2 6
grade

Key Policy

Any person who seeks possession of a key to the church will have a clearly
stated reason for needing a key and must be approved by the Elders.

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1. Records of key holder will be maintained by the church’s secretary and kept
on file in the church office. Keys shall be returned when they are no longer
needed by the holder, and the return will be documented.

2. It is the responsibility of the secretary to monitor who is in possession of

keys and to request the return of keys from persons no longer authorized to
hold them. Keys are not to be loaned to unauthorized persons or kept beyond
the time that they are needed. Authorized key holders may loan their key to a
spouse if the spouse has signed the Key Receipt Form (see appendix).

3. Key holders are required to submit a Key Receipt Form, which includes a
signed Statement of Compliance.

4. No key holder will use his or her key to access the church with a child or
children not his or her own (or of whom the key holder is not a legal guardian
or foster parent) at a time when there is no church related activity being held
in which the child and key holder are involved. This is intended to prevent a
situation where an adult key holder is alone with a child in the facility. In the
rare case an exception is to be made to this provision, a written note from the
child’s parent or legal guardian must be submitted to the church office and
approved by the elders.

Providing community for known sexual offenders

Individuals who have been adjudicated by a court or Child Protective Services

findings as sexual offenders with minors and/or have admitted to past sexual
abuse of children and are willing to abide by the guidelines set forth in this
policy, and who “perform deeds in keeping with their repentance” (Acts 26:20)
are welcome to attend alternative worship services with adults only, and
attend adult educational activities. Such individuals are hereafter referred to as
“known sexual offenders” or “offenders,” have admitted to or have been
convicted of being sexually attracted to and victimizing children, and thereby
acknowledge they should not be in the presence of children. This is to protect
children from possible victimization, to keep survivors of child sex abuse from
being re-victimized through being forced to worship with known sex offenders,
and it is to protect the repentant sex offender by placing “no obstacle in
anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry” (2 Cor. 6:3).

The famed Dr. Gene Abel says, “The first condition of treatment: the patient
must keep a distance between himself (or herself) and children. This is by far
the most important treatment condition. . . These rules have a single aim:
to separate the molester patient from children and to separate him from any
pictures of children that might help him maintain his sex drive toward children.
. . To separate himself from children also means he must avoid places
where children congregate”[4]

The minimum guidelines by which any known offender may participate in the
life of the congregation are described below, and shall be incorporated into a
covenant specific for the individual offender, which is to be signed by the
offender prior to participation.
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Depending on the circumstances and at the discretion of the CYPT, additional
restrictions may be incorporated into an individual covenant. If an individual is
on probation or parole, specific provisions related to contact with children,
participation in counseling, and others, will be incorporated into the covenant.
The individual covenant may also permit participation in additional church
activities (except those involving children) if circumstances warrant.

Minimum guidelines under which a known sexual offender may

participate:

1. Offenders are expected to comply fully with all restrictions and

requirements placed upon them as a result of any legal actions, and provide
the designated Minister on the CYPT with copies of any judgments, conditions
of parole, or other documents in which restrictions or requirements are stated
as a result of convictions or judgments.

2. Offenders are expected to participate in a professional counseling

program, specifically addressing their abusive behaviors. Offenders will
provide the name of the agency and mental health professional to the Minister
on the CYPT at the time of request for participation. The offender may be
asked to periodically sign a limited disclosure authorization for the therapist to
verify to the Minister on the CYPT that the individual is in treatment.

3. The CYPT will assign supervisors to any offender participating in the

life of the congregation. They will be adults who are not related to the
offender. They will receive training by a professional agency that will include
information on sexual offender dynamics, the long-term impact of sexual
abuse on victims, and any specific conditions related to participation under the
specific covenant established. If the offender is on probation or parole, the
training may need to be approved by the officer of the court handling the case.

4. The CYPT will identify a small group of “covenant partners” for

offenders. This small group will provide spiritual, emotional and practical
support and will meet with the offender on a regular basis. The supervisors and
“covenant partners” will not be the same individuals.

6. A supervisor must accompany the offender at all times when on

church property.

7. At no time should the offender deliberately place him or herself in or

remain in any location in or around the church facilities which would
cause undue distress to others.

8. At least twice each calendar year and as otherwise requested, the

offender shall meet with and report to the designated minister on the CYPT
regarding status of adherence to these guidelines.

9. If the offender should decide to relocate membership (or

substantially attend) another congregation, the designated minister will
seek to inform the leadership of that congregation of the conditions of these

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guidelines. Failure to notify other congregations of a known sex offender’s
history is an ethical breech of the worst kind. Perpetrators often rely on the
ignorance of church leaders to prey on new unsuspecting victims. It is good,
for liability purposes, to have this correspondence in writing and kept on
record.

10. The offender will have no physical contact with minors or be

allowed to contact minors via e-mail, phone, letters, texting, or social
networking sites, whether children belong to this church or not. Any
violation of this rule will mean immediate and complete removal from
the church.

Reporting Suspected Child Abuse

Anyone may report suspected child abuse. However, all states impose a
reporting mandate, or requirement, on any individual who comes into contact
with children in the course of his or her work or professional practice and has
“reasonable cause to suspect” that the minor has been abused. These
individuals are known as mandated reporters.

Church staff that should be considered mandated reporters are those who
routinely come into contact with children, including ministers, youth directors
and any other paid staff expected to come into contact with children on a
regular basis.

Volunteers who are Approved Adults are not considered mandated reporters
under some state guidelines; however, best practices in church settings
require all such persons to immediately report any suspected abuse to a
salaried minister at the _____________Church, who in turn will make the
required report. Our church follows this practice.

The mandate (requirement) to report applies only to those children

with whom the mandated reporter comes into contact through church
related activities/work. Some states stipulate that the abused child
must actually be “under the care, supervision, guidance or training of
[the mandated reporter] or of an agency, institution, organization or
other entity with which that person is affiliated.”

Examples of children considered by some state laws to be under the care or

supervision of a church would include pre-school or other students, children
enrolled in child-care programs, children being “babysat” during worship
services or gatherings, children participating in educational, sports, music,
recreational or other church ministries such as Vacation Bible School, and
youth group.

The mandate to report applies to all suspected child abuse, not just abuse that
has been perpetrated by someone within the church. Possible abusers could
include, for example, parents, relatives, older siblings, neighbors, coaches,
schoolteachers, family friends and other children who may or may not attend
the congregation.

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A mandated reporter need not make a first-hand observation of the
suspected child abuse victim. Second-hand reports of abuse must be
reported to the proper authorities if the mandated reporter has “reasonable
cause to suspect” that child abuse has occurred.

For practical purposes, this means if a minister is informed by a church

member that a child who lives next door to her is being abused by her older
brother – and the child is NOT a participant in church related activities – the
legal “requirement” to report is not there in many states.

Most states specifically grant legal immunity, however, to any individual who,
in good faith, makes a report of suspected child abuse. Therefore, it is our
practice to report any suspected crimes of abuse, whether the child is under
our care or not. If a child not under our care is suspected of being abused,
we will not ignore those claims simply because we do not fall under the legal
obligation to report. We will report all suspected instances of child
abuse!

Internal guidelines for reporting suspected abuse

Anyone who is not a mandated reporter who has reasonable cause to suspect
that a child/youth under their care, guidance or supervision, or a child/youth
not directly under their care, guidance or supervision but involved in any
church program or activity, has been abused by anyone (including but not
limited to the child/youth’s family, guardians, an Approved Adult or volunteer)
shall immediately inform the Minister on the CYPT and he will document the
suspected abuse by following the state’s specific reporting procedures.

The church is not responsible for investigating or determining whether or not

abuse has occurred. The standard under the law for reporting is that “a
reasonable person has cause to believe the child has been abused.” It may be
necessary to ask the child or person alleging the abuse has occurred for some
clarification in order to determine if there is cause to believe abuse may have
occurred.

Detailed interviews and extensive questioning with the child and/or the alleged
abuser, however, should be conducted by legal authorities, not the church.

If a child is injured or in pain, call 911 for an ambulance.

If abuse within the church is founded, the church should check with local
detectives and ask that they conduct an investigation upon the church. This
serves two very important purposes. (1)If church did not know that a
child/children were being abused by someone in the church, a thorough
investigation clears all church staff of covering up abuse. This is on record and
protects the church from a civil suit. It also clears the church’s reputation with
the public and demonstrates that the leadership is cooperative and
trustworthy. (2)If persons within the church did know that a child/children
were being abused but remained silent, an investigation would reveal the

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guilty persons and criminal charges could be sought. There is never a good
excuse for remaining silent when it is known that a child is being abused.

The Minister on the CYPT will immediately make an oral report by checking
with Child Welfare Information Gateway and calling his/her state’s hotline:
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/

They may also call their county’s Children and Youth office and follow up after
a report has been made.

__________________ County Children and Youth

This is a legally required report.

The volunteer or staff person who reported suspected abuse must be notified
by the Minister on the CYPT of the date the report was made. Anyone who is
not a mandated reporter may also report reasonable suspicions directly to their
state’s hotline (found at
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/ ); however, such a
report does not relieve the obligation to inform the Minister on the CYPT and
complete an Incident Report.

The congregation will cooperate fully with government authorities investigating

allegations of abuse. The initiative for investigating alleged abuse resides with
the Department of Public Welfare (DPW) and shall not be carried out by the
congregation.

As a required reporter, the minister can request certain information about a

child who was the subject of a report of suspected child abuse that was made.

Information can be requested verbally or in writing from the county agency.

The information that can be released to the mandated reporter is limited to:

 the final status of the child abuse report; in other words, whether it is
indicated, founded or unfounded and;

 any services provided, arranged for or to be provided by the county

agency to protect the child.

All allegations of child/youth abuse or serious physical neglect will be taken

seriously by the minister(s), elders, and the CYPT. These allegations will be
treated in strict confidence. All reporting steps taken will be documented,
including a log of phone calls, personal visits, and written reports.
Documentation should be kept in a secure file in the Church office and freely
shared with investigators.

All communications regarding the report of suspected child abuse shall attempt
to protect the dignity and privacy of those persons affected by the report
including the alleged child/youth victim and the person suspected of child

82
abuse, while at the same time ensuring that persons in responsibility and law
enforcement authorities remain fully informed.

Follow-up, investigation, documentation

1. Following placement of the call to report suspected abuse to the abuse

hotline, the Minister on the CYPT will inform the parent (provided that neither
of the custodial parents is suspected of abuse). If a custodial parent is the
alleged abuser, his or her first contact about the allegation should
come from either Child & Youth Services or the police, not the church.

2. The church should not enter into discussion with the alleged abuser after a
report has been filed and during the course of the legal investigation about the
details of the complaint. The alleged abuser will be removed from any position
at the ___________ Church in which he or she has supervisory authority over
children pending the completion of the investigation.

3. The insurance company should be contacted after the report is filed as a

matter of routine practice if the alleged abuse involves a staff person. The
alleged abuser will have his or her ministry restricted to exclude contact with
children immediately; and may be placed on paid leave for a designated period
of time during the investigation.

4. If an incident is reported that does not rise to the level of making a

mandated report but still causes concern, the CYPT Chair will inform the child’s
parent(s) or guardian(s) of the concern and document the meeting.

Information

1. The extent to which information will be shared with the congregation will be
determined by the minister and elders. All necessary parties will cooperate
with the investigations made by the police.

2. The minister on the CYPT is to act as the official spokesperson for the
congregation. Only the authorized person or persons may speak on
behalf of the congregation to the news media, government agencies,
attorneys, or others.

Continuing the Ministry of the Church

1. Pastoral support will be offered to all parties involved, including those who
have made the complaint, the alleged abuser, the families of both, and the
congregation. Decisions about how this support will be given should be made
by pastoral staff and the CYPT.

2. If the allegations involve pastoral staff, the ministry of the church will need
to be maintained while the issue is being investigated. Decisions regarding how
this will be accomplished will be made by the elders.

Violations of Child & Youth Protection Policy

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Persons who admit to, plead guilty to, or are convicted in a court of law of any
form of physical or sexual abuse of a child/youth will be immediately,
permanently, and completely disqualified by the CYPT from working with
children/youth in the congregation. Persons who admit to a minister or any
member of the CYPT of any type of physical or sexual abuse of a child/youth
but who have not appeared in a court of law will also be disqualified from
working with children/youth in the congregation. Allegations of sexual or
physical abuse shall disqualify any person from working with children/youth
until the investigation is completed. The CYPT may temporarily or
permanently disqualify any person(s) from working with children/youth, as the
committee deems appropriate.

Alleged violations of the policy, other than abuse, shall be immediately

reported to the CYPT Chair who will report it to the elders, if deemed
appropriate. The CYPT will investigate the alleged violations of this policy. If a
person(s) is found to be in violation of the policy, the CYPT will determine what
disqualification or disciplinary action, if any, is necessary.

Training and Education

Policy on Education and Training

This policy will be available to the entire congregation. Copies will be kept in
each nursery, any main bulletin board, and in the office and available upon
request.

In order to be an Approved Adult, a volunteer or staff member must participate

in an initial training that covers recognizing and responding to child abuse,
mandated reporting requirements, and church guidelines and practices.
_____________ (whatever your state requires) training meets all
requirements of this training.

All Approved Adults and staff will receive a full copy of the Child & Youth
Protection Policy, sign a Statement of Compliance and sign a Child Protection
Covenant.

Procedures for Education and Training

Staff and Volunteers

1. Training should be offered at least once a year. It will be considered a

mandatory part of volunteer training and employee orientation. The initial
training for each new staff person and volunteer will be at least 2.5 hours.

2. Once an individual has participated in the initial training, a refresher training

of at least one hour will be required every year to ensure that the individual's
knowledge is current and accurate.

3. The church’s secretary will maintain a record of who has received training
and the dates.

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4. Training will include the use of professional training materials on child
abuse, including specific information about:

 child sexual abuse, behavioral signs, and how to respond to a disclosure

of abuse
 the grooming process sexual offenders often use to engage children
 a review of policies and procedures that are specific to
______________Church and pertinent to the work in which the
employee or volunteer will be involved
 Instruction in the use and completion of the various forms.

Parents and other Members

They are encouraged to attend Church Protect’s Annual Child Sex Abuse
Workshops or view them online at www.churchprotect.org

Children

In the words of an imprisoned pedophile, “A child who says, ‘No!’ is a child we

won’t mess with.” In order for a holistic approach to work, children must also
be trained so that they know what constitutes abuse and how to counter an
abuser and disclose. They must be adequately trained that their bodies are
their own, and that nobody has the right to harm them in any way. They must
be trained to say no to someone who attempts to abuse them and know how
to report any violation that takes place. Each class will receive training once a
year using Safer, Smarter Kids curriculum. Teacher kits can be ordered here:
http://safersmarterkids.org/

APPENDIX

APPLICATION TO BECOME AN APPROVED ADULT

This application is a mandatory part of a process to assist the congregation in

providing a safe, nurturing Christian environment for our children/youth.
Persons responsible for the supervision and care of our children/youth are in a
special position of trust and confidence. Therefore, all adults (18 years of age
or older) seeking to work with the children/youth of the _____________
Church must complete this application.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Please attach photographic identification, e.g., copy of driver’s license.

(1) Name _________________________________ (2) Date of Application

________________

(3) SSN ______________________ (4) Driver’s License (State)

_______________________

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(5) Address and Mailing
Address________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
______________________________

(6) Telephone (Home) ____________(7) (Work) ______________(8) (Cell)

_____________

(9) E-mail Address

_________________________________________________________

(10) Are you 18 years of age or older? □ Yes □ No

CHURCH OR CHILD-RELATED WORK

(11) List your talents, training, education, etc., that might help enrich the lives
of our children/youth. Describe the type of work you prefer.

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

(12) Name and cities of all churches you have attended on a regular basis at
any time during the last five years. For each church, indicate with (*) whether
you were a member.

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

(13) Describe any church work you have done with children/youth during the
last five years. Include the church’s name, city, and year(s) of participation.

_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

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_______________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

(14) Describe any non-church related work you have done with children/youth
during the last five years. Include the organization’s name, city, and year(s) of
participation.
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
___________________________

(15) Have you ever abused, been accused of abusing, or been investigated for
abusing a child/youth (a person less than 18 years of age)? □ Yes □ No

If yes, please explain.

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

(16) Have you ever been arrested for, convicted of, or plead guilty to a
criminal offense against a person? □ Yes □ No

If yes, please explain

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

(17) Have you ever been involved in a child abuse investigation as a witness or
as an alleged victim? □ Yes □ No

If yes, please explain.

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________

PERSONAL REFERENCES

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Give the name, address, and phone number of two persons, not relatives, who
have known you for at least five years.

(1)
_______________________________________________________________
_____________

(2)
_______________________________________________________________
____________________

I agree that the information contained in this application is correct to the best
of my knowledge.

Applicant’s Signature _____________________________________ Date

_________________

APPLICANT’S PERMISSION FOR THE DISCLOSURE OF INFORMATION ABOUT

THE APPLICANT AND APPLICANT’S RELEASE OF ALL CLAIMS AGAINST
PERSONS OR ENTITIES THAT DISCLOSE INFORMATION OR GIVE OPINIONS
ABOUT THE APPLICANT

I understand and agree that the congregation may contact the churches and
references identified above and others who may be identified by those listed
above. I authorize these references or churches or others to give you any
information (including opinions) that they may have regarding my character
and fitness for work with children/youth. I also understand and agree that law
enforcement authorities or any other person or entity with access to records of
criminal arrests or convictions may be contacted during the consideration of
this application. I authorize these law enforcement authorities or any other
person or entity to provide information regarding criminal arrests or
convictions. In consideration of the receipt and evaluation of this application by
the congregation, I hereby release the congregation and any individual,
church, youth organization, employer, reference, or any other person or entity,
including record custodians, both collectively and individually, from any and all
liability for damages of whatever kind or nature which may at any time result
to me, my heirs, or family, on account of any person’s or entity’s disclosure of
information about me or the expression of an opinion about me. I further state
that I have carefully read the foregoing release and understand its content. I
am signing this release freely and voluntarily.

Applicant’s Signature _______________________________________ Date

_______________

I acknowledge that the above named applicant has appeared before me and
produced an original Social Security card.

Reviewer: _______________________________ Date: _________________

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CHILD PROTECTION COVENANT

I accept the responsibility to nurture the Christian faith and well-being of the
children and youth of the __________________Church and to care for them
as Christ cares for me.

“I …will tend the flock of God that is in my charge… willingly, as God would
have me do it…” --I Peter 5:2

I have read, understand, and agree to abide by the Child & Youth Protection
Policy of the __________________Church as summarized.

_______________________________________ _____________

Signature Date

_______________________________________ ______________

Signature of Witness Date

Address:

Phone:

e-mail:

Child Protection

Subject: Medical Release Form

Date implemented: Approved by:

Student’s
Name:_____________________________Gender___________Age/D.O.B.___
______________

Address:___________________________________Phone:_______________
_______________

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

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Parents’/Guardians’
Names:_________________________________________________________
__________

Address (if different from child’s):

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Insurance Company__________________________Policy #:
__________________________

1. Is your child allergic to:

_____bee sting _____pollens _____other drugs:______________

_____hay, straw _____penicillin _____food: _________________

_____other_____________________________________________________
_________

2. Does your child have any life-threatening allergies? _____Yes _____No

If yes to what? _________________________________

3. Is your child bringing any medication with him/her? _____Yes _____No

If yes, please list and state dosage:

_______________________________________________________________
_________

_______________________________________________________________
________

Please Note: Medication should be in its original prescription bottle/package,

which should have administration instructions and the child’s name clearly
indicated.

4. Does your child have any physical, emotional, mental or behavioral concerns
or limitations that our staff should be aware of? _____Yes _____No If yes,
please explain:

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_______________________________________________________________
________

_______________________________________________________________
________

5. Has your child ever had:

_____seizures _____asthma _____diabetes

_____homesickness _____heart disease

_____other______________________________

6. Date of last tetanus shot:_____________________________________

Parents will be notified immediately of any medical emergency.

In the case of a medical emergency, in which parent/guardian is not

immediately available, the medical personnel require a signed parental release
before treatment. I hereby give my permission to a representative of
Mountville Mennonite Church to secure proper medical treatment and/or to
administer medication as identified above as needed (see # 3). I verify that
the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge.

Signature of
Parent/Guardian:______________________________Date:_______________
___

Emergency Phone:

Home:_________________________________________________________
________

Work:__________________________________________________________
________

Cell:
_______________________________________________________________
____

Person to contact if parent/guardian cannot be reached:

Name:
_______________________________________________________________

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 Relationship:
__________________________________________________________

Phone:
_______________________________________________________________

Key Receipt Form

I understand that, as a person with a key(s) to __________________ Church,

I am responsible for maintaining the safety of the Church environment while
any property and/or facility of ______________Church is unlocked by the
key(s) I hold.

I agree to be entirely responsible for the security of the key(s) and to:

▪ Not lend the key(s) to anyone, unless authorized by the Leadership Team and
the team member signs this form;

▪ Not tag or otherwise identify the key(s) as providing access to any property
and/or facility of

_________________ Church.

 I understand that I am not to be alone in any room or secluded area on

____________ Church’s property at any time with a child or youth that
is not my own or a relative without parental permission.

▪ Return the key(s) when I no longer have the responsibility that created a
need to have the key(s) or when an authorized representative of
__________________Church requests such return.

1. If any property and/or facility of __________________Church is

unlocked by the key that I hold,

I will be the last one out of the building and will check that ALL doors are
locked, OR

I will notify other church representatives who are still in the building that I am
leaving.

I understand that failure to comply with any of the provisions set forth in the
Child & Youth Protection Policy for ____________________Church or this Key
Receipt Form may result in the loss of my privilege to be a key holder.

Name (please print):

_______________________________________________________________
_

Home Phone: ( ) _______________ Daytime Phone, if different: ( )

___________________

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Signature: ____________________________________________ Date:
____________________

An additional holder (i.e., a spouse) of a single key assigned, which might be

shared for reasons only after approval by the Leadership Team, must sign
below and adhere to the same direction as outlined above. It is understood
that failure to comply with any of the provisions set forth in the Child & Youth
Protection Policy for __________________ Church or this Key Receipt Form
may result in the loss of my privilege to be a key holder.

Name (please print):

_______________________________________________________________

Home Phone: ( ) _______________ Daytime Phone, if different: ( )

__________________

Signature: ____________________________________________ Date:

___________________

***************************************************************
******************

Date Key Returned:

_______________________________________________________________
_

Signature of Key holder: ___________________________________

Signature of Authorized Representative of
_________________Church:__________________________

***The following is a report required by mandated reporters in Pennsylvania to

fill out. Each local congregation is responsible to find out what their state’s
reporting procedures are and attach the appropriate paperwork to this policy.
The following report is only to be used as a sample and should not be used
except for in the state of Pennsylvania***

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94
[1] 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. All Scripture references are from Today’s New
International Version (TNIV).
95
[2] Luke 18:16.

[3] It is the responsibility of each local congregation to seek legal counsel and
make sure that your church is in compliance with all current state laws
governing the protection of children. Definitions of abuse, who constitutes
mandated reporters, age of consent, and requirements for background checks
vary from state to state and these laws and definition change frequently.

[4] Abel, Gene & Nora Harlow, The Stop Child Molestation Book: What
Ordinary People Can Do In Their Everyday Lives to Save Three Million Children
(Xlibris Corporation, 2001), 254-55, emphasis added by Somerset Church of
Christ.

http://www.somersetchurchofchrist.com/resources/church-policy/

Church Protect seminar led me to establish child safety policies in my

congregation

By SAM H. PACE Minister at Northwest Church of Christ, Westminster, CO

We were flirting with disaster and we didn’t realize it. We were blissfully
unaware of a particular kind of danger we had not fully considered. We were
failing to protect a precious element within our church family. We were
unsuspecting and vulnerable.

Jimmy Hinton, Church Protect cofounder and CEO, was speaking at a lecture
series, and I chose to attend his sessions on preventative measures churches
may take to protect their children. To be honest, I wasn’t really interested in
his lecture that day. Some mutual friends had encouraged me to make a
connection to Jimmy regarding another ministry interest. So, I sat down and
fiddled with my phone to catch up on some emails while Jimmy got things
going.

It only took about a minute for Jimmy to capture my attention. “92 percent of
child sexual predators attend church services weekly.” “Sunday morning
church is one of the most vulnerable places for child sex predators to exploit
children.”

After the session I emailed my eldership and said, “Guys, we’ve got some work
to do in protecting our children.” Afterwards, I met Jimmy and we began a
friendship that has become a tremendous learning experience for the church I
serve.

A few months later we had Jimmy out for a seminar. We read documents and
policies on child safety. We listened intently to Jimmy’s stories, experiences,
and wisdom regarding child safety. And as a result, we took action.

We now have building policies that require two or more adults to be present
with children in all circumstances. We have a background check requirement

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for all who work with our children in Sunday school or youth events. Our
ushers pass through the building to make sure doors are secured after classes.
We added measures to limit the spaces where a predator might try to harm a
child. We made a public statement regarding our policies so that potential
predators would know we are watching and acting to prevent harm from
coming to our children. And to top it off, we have also developed a response
policy on how we will handle an incident should one arise.

We are by no means able to completely prevent a child from being harmed

under our watch, but we are watching. We are taking initiatives to protect our
children by limiting the potential for harm. I am grateful to have stumbled into
Jimmy’s seminar and to have my eyes opened. I appreciate the work he is
doing to help protect children.

Copyright © 2016 Church Protect, Inc.

http://us11.campaign-
archive1.com/?u=d2d31931d1a79ceb1f09cd990&id=04cc814b34

Myths About Abuse

Myth #1–Teaching my kid to not talk to strangers will keep my kid

safe.
The reality is that the majority of children molested are abused by someone
they know well. Only about 10% of victims of child sexual abuse are abused by
a stranger. Teaching your kids not to talk to strangers is a poor way to keep
your child from being sexually abused.

Myth #2–If my child is being abused, he or she would let me know.

Absolutely false. Around 5% of victims ever tell others, including parents, of
their abuse. Pedophiles are exceptionally good at grooming the child to believe
that they initiated contact or that if they ever tell, they or their family will be
harmed in some way. Many abusers are fathers or step-fathers and tell
children that if they ever tell, they will be responsible for the family falling
apart. It is not uncommon for survivors of abuse who disclose the abuse, to do
it years after the abuse took place. Most notable are the men who disclosed
their abuse by Jerry Sandusky years after the abuse took place. The public
questions this. Professional counselors understand it. There are a host of
reasons why children do not disclose abuse and we must always validate
survivors who do tell.

Myth #3–If my child is abused, she will tell the abuser to stop.
Unfortunately, part of the grooming process is to build trust and reliance on the
pedophile. Children almost never will tell an abuser to stop unless trained to do
so.

Myth #4–I would easily notice if my child was being abused.

The reality is that most parents will never notice when their child is abused. In
fact, many pedophiles will abuse a child with their clothes on directly in front of

97
the parents. They do this for a few reasons: they are testing the child to see if
the child will try to tell, they are testing the groomability of the parents (will
they notice?/what can I get away with?), and they are proving to themselves
that they are skilled at blatantly offending. Most parents won’t notice a hand or
finger moving to the wrong place because they are not looking for it, especially
from a trusted family friend.

Myth #5–Pedophiles are easy to pick out of a crowd.

Unfortunately, Hollywood is different from reality. Successful pedophiles are
successful precisely because they have not been picked out of a crowd–by
anyone! They are doctors, lawyers, preachers, judges, fathers, mothers, rich,
and poor. Pedophiles can literally be anyone. Most pedophiles, while attracted
to children, are productive members of society who work full time jobs, are
married, and have children of their own. I never would have guessed in a
million years that my father was a pedophile. He was a preacher and someone
I knew well, respected, and never suspected was sexually assaulting children.

Myth #6–Churches are a safe place and pedophiles wouldn’t think of

abusing there.
The reality is that churches are safe. . . for the abuser. Over 90% of pedophiles
are regular church-goers. The fields of abuse are ripened for harvest because
church-goers are naturally trusting of others, believe the best about other
Christians, and believe that nobody would have the audacity to abuse in a
place of worship. Many churches have no policies to protect children and allow
others to be alone with their kids, granting them full access to abuse.

Myth #6–All sexual abusers are men.

While the vast majority of sexual abusers are men, women also sexually abuse
children. Never assume that just because a woman is alone with your child,
you child cannot be sexually abused.

Myth #7–Child molesters and pedophiles are synonymous.

A pedophile is someone who is habitually attracted to children. It is a
recognized paraphilia disorder, though this is not without debate in the
professional fields. The medical definition states that, in order to be a
pedophile, the person must be at least 16 years of age, at least five years
older than the child, and attracted to children for a period of at least 6 months.
A pedophile becomes a molester when he sexually abuses a child. You can be a
pedophile (habitually attracted to children) and not be a molester, though I
know of no research to date that can prove there are any adult pedophiles who
have not sexually abused a child.

A molester is any person who has sexual contact with a child. A person could
be a molester and not be habitually attracted to children. For example, some
children will sexually experiment with younger children one time out of
curiosity without having any attraction to children. Therefore, a person can be
a child molester but not be a pedophile.

http://wineskins.org/2015/03/20/pornified-church/#more-3355

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Pornified Church

20 March, 2015

Published by Jimmy Hinton

Warning: The contents of this post are of an adult nature. Our goal in posting
this is to raise awareness of a very dark side of humanity that may be closer to
us than we think so that it can be addressed and combated more intentionally
in our churches.

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.”—
Jesus

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be
named among you, as is proper among the saints. Let there be no filthiness
nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there
be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually
immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance
in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Eph. 5:3-5 ESV).

It was not until the discovery that my father, a former preacher, was a
pedophile that I realized how diseased the hearts of Christians are. He is
currently serving a 30-60 year prison sentence, sentenced in 2012 after my
mom and I reported him to police following an allegation of sexual abuse. I
have since gone on a quest not many have undertaken—to enter the mind of a
pedophile. Until we are willing to see the world from behind their eyes, we will
never be able to understand how they so easily become perverted, rob the
innocence and destroy the lives of our children, fool us, and so forth. And what
I discovered was more shocking than I ever would have imagined—the church
is full of closet sex perverts, pedophiles included. I can’t help myself, I’ve got
to quote a line from my dad in his most recent letter to me: “But I know that
I know in running through my mind in my past conversations and
observations with preacher friends down through the years—show
most any of them T&A and they turn into tongue-draggin’ hounds.”

I wish I could say that he is a delusional inmate who has no sense of reality,
but my experience tells me that he is being conservative in his thoughts.
Unless you experience the volume of pleas for help from churches experiencing
carnage from sexual abuse, you will choose to believe that there is not an
epidemic of perversion within the church. A good preacher friend of mine called
me up and shared his discovery of a 6 year old boy who was raped in the
church building during worship. My friend discovered it after seeing the boy
limping down the church hall with a huge blood stain on the back of his pants.
The perpetrator was acquitted and still attends church there, after the perp’s
attorney threatened my friend and the church with a lawsuit. These stories are
not rare. I hear stories just like this DAY AFTER DAY. It’s going on in the
church, and it’s going on a lot. Pornography has taken over the church, and it
has poisoned the hearts of Christians, old and young alike.

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We cannot talk about healthy sexuality until we first address the disease and
know how to treat it. This, in my opinion, is why the Bible talks about sexuality
so much in terms of restrictions and harsh judgment. We have drunk the
devil’s Kool-Aid of “exploration” and “sexual freedom,” and in doing so the
church has become fully pornified.

In my field of work, I can assure you that there is no shortage of perverts in

the church, even among church leaders. And it’s getting worse. We sanitize the
Bible and describe sexual sin in soft terms that detach our emotions and free
the sexual sinner of any real responsibility. We say that porn addicts and
sexual abusers are “struggling,” have “issues of lust,” just “went down a wrong
path,” etc. Contrast that with Jesus talking about gouging out eyes, cutting off
hands, tying millstones around necks, and Paul’s haunting words, “Let no one
deceive you with empty words, for because of these things (sexual sins) the
wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience” (Eph. 5:6). Why?

It’s because God understands supply and demand better than we ever will, and
he knows that our perverted fantasies increase supply while harming actual
people. Strangely, maybe Jesus was serious when he said that any man who
looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his
heart. I could fill dozens of pages with statistics showing that sex trafficking
and child sexual abuse are the fastest growing industries on the planet. And,
pornography is the common denominator every single time. In dad’s last letter
(where I asked him what we can do to keep people like him from harming our
children), he said: “Gotta think like perps to catch them or dissuade
them. You sure aren’t gonna keep them out of churches, scouts, youth
sports, schools, etc. They are your family, best friend, preacher,
teacher, judge, attorney, etc. . . . I can name you 3 preachers in -
___________ who are porn addicts. They’ll act out somewhere,
sometime with someone guaranteed.” I talked with a prison psychologist
who told me that of the thousands of sex offenders who he’s counseled, he has
yet to meet one who was not fully entrenched in pornography. Will every porn
addict abuse someone? No, but rest assured perversion of God’s biblical
intention of mutual sex, caring for, and compassion is driving the masses to
act out in unhealthy ways. As I type this, there are Christian women reading
this whose husbands are forcing them to act out fantasies in the bedroom that
they see played out in porn. The most common of these are dressing as
teenagers, anal sex, and submission while the husband ejaculates onto their
bodies (see Pamela Paul’s book Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming
Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families). In the words of a friend of
mine, “I cannot get aroused by my wife anymore unless I am watching a porn
video while having sex with her.” How romantic.

The 7 most common genres of pornography in the US are, in order, Girl on

Girl, Man on Man, Hentai (Japanese animated porn), MILF (women usually age
25-50, an acronym for “Mother I’d Like to $@#&”), Shemale Porn
(transsexuals, watched almost exclusively by straight men), BBW (big,
beautiful women), and BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism)
http://graphs.net/most-popular-porn-genres.html Who are the biggest
consumers of this filth? It turns out that a study monitoring paid subscriptions
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to porn (with the availability of free pornography, paid subscribers are deeper
entrenched in porn and have moved beyond being “casual” users) “revealed
that online subscriptions are ‘more prevalent in states where surveys indicate
conservative positions on religion, gender roles and sexuality.’”
http://www.cnbc.com/id/31905302/page/1 Check out the lists for yourself.
Turns out that folk in the Bible belt are studying more than their Bibles. Utah
ranked the #1 state for paid porn subscriptions per capita. Not surprisingly,
Utah, a state that has the lowest percentage of its population in prison, ranks
as the #1 state with the highest percentage of its prison population as sex
offenders. http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/58406311-78/offenders-sex-
prison-utah.html.csp?page=1

While some experts argue that tougher laws and longer sentences for sex
offenders are what’s driving that population up, I disagree. It is extremely rare
for sex offenders to get caught in the first place, no matter how tough the laws
are. The vast majority (90+%) of sex offenders will never get caught. So how
are so many getting caught in UT, unless there are a plethora of them within
that state?

All of this to say, we’ve got an epidemic on our hands and we have got to get
more serious and aggressive about it. Porn use and sex abuse are at epidemic
levels within the church and statistics show that it is getting worse, not better.
Are church leaders willing to preach about sex, oppression, and abuse? Are
they willing to stand with victims? Are they willing to call each other to a
higher standard of moral living and demand transparency? Are we adults
willing to create a safe place for our kids and sniff out abusers who are hiding
within our churches? Are we willing to preach hard against sexual sin for the
oppressors while understanding that victims of child sex abuse may be caught
up in promiscuity because of their abuse? Will we demonstrate through our
own sexual lives that our spouses have worth and value and they are not
reduced to perverted fantasies? It is a complex problem that cannot be
remedied in this short article. But my prayer is that we boldly begin the
dialogue and restore God’s original intent for compassion, care, and sexuality.
We churches are sick and in need of radical healing. Lord, please heal us by
means of painful operations. Cut the cancer of sexual perversion and
oppression from your Body. Cut us to the core and make us whole again.
Amen.

PROTECT Plan

PROTECT is a simple plan built upon the most complex, quantitative research.
We regularly visit churches that are currently using the best protection plans
that are out there. Within minutes we are able to recognize gaping holes where
perpetrators can easily gain access to children. Most plans are very complex,
are weighed down with legal jargon, and are based on faulty research.
PROTECT is unique on many levels. First of all, it is intentionally built on 7
principles that are easy to remember. It’s also built from a combination of Jon’s
9,000 + clinical hours logged with thousands of sex offenders and Jimmy’s 20
+ years living in the same home as his father. It is the only protection plan
that was built by someone who has real life experience and observation
101
knowing how perpetrators interact in the real world, in real time, with real
victims.

The purpose of PROTECT (Prepare, Reinforce, Object, Think like a pedophile,

Establish boundaries, Call authorities, Train adults and children) is to use
common sense principles that actually work to protect children from predators.
Adults and children are trained, and churches are taught how to communicate
this to would-be abusers. We believe the tables should be turned where
churches are no longer safe for abusers but are safe for children.

Prepare everybody.
Be prepared to prevent abuse, maintain a safe place for children, and be a
hospital for the wounded. A spiritual war is being waged—“Finally, be strong in
the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that
you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not
wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers , against the authorities,
against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual
forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:10-12 ESV). Some will be
soldiers in this battle, others will tend to the wounded. Regardless of our roles
in the battlefield, it is spiritual malpractice, unethical, and immoral to be
intentionally unprepared while “hoping for the best.”

Reinforce training often.

“So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline
my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself
should be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:26-27 ESV). ~Most folks are
clueless—Letter from prison by a perpetrator who successfully sexually
abused dozens of victims for nearly 50 years of his life. He was a former youth
minister and preacher.~ Most organizations recognize the value in continuing
education and training. Very few businesses exist anymore where employees
do not receive reinforcement training. Pedophiles are among the most
sophisticated class of criminals while churches remain the least trained,
making them the safest and ideal places for perpetrators to offend.

Object to any attempt for pedophiles to be near children.

Because pedophiles are highly skilled, manipulative, and rely on secrecy and
lies for success, the risk of reoffending is very high. In many states, it is illegal
for registered sex offenders to go to places where there are a high number of
children, including churches. In the words of the famed Dr. Gene Abel, “The
first condition of treatment: the patient must keep a distance between himself
(or herself) and children. This is by far the most important treatment
condition. . . These rules have a single aim: to separate the molester patient
from children and to separate him from any pictures of children that might help
him maintain his sex drive toward children. . . To separate himself from
children also means he must avoid places where children congregate” (Abel &
Harlow, The Stop Child Molestation Book). “. . . They have eyes full of adultery,
insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls. They have hearts trained in
greed. Accursed children!” (2 Peter 2:13b-14 ESV). In our experience, we have
yet to see a scenario end well, for the perpetrator or the children, when a
church invites a known pedophile into their congregation. A repentant
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pedophile will welcome the idea of an adult-only worship alternative. A church
dedicated to protecting God’s children will too.

Think like a perpetrator.

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as
serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16 ESV). We believe that the
most vital component of protecting the innocent is to get behind the eyes of a
pedophile. We could talk about risk indicators and “red flag” behaviors, but the
reality is that these create massive blind spots. These do not take into account
how charismatic abusers are and what their real-life step-by-step tactics are.
To truly protect against perpetrators, we have to train people to walk in the
pedophiles’ shoes—to think like they think, to maneuver the way they
maneuver, to know both how and why they gain easy access to children. Our
on-site training includes a walk-through of the building where our trainers get
into role and play the perpetrator. It is a live demonstration that illustrates how
easy it is for perpetrators to gain access to children in even the most restricted
areas. The Church Protect Predator Recognition Assessment© is a 20
point assessment developed by the son and wife of a pedophile. It was
designed by over 50 combined years of observation of real life interaction of a
pedophile and is used to train people to know how predators gain such easy
access to children while receiving praise by those closest to them.

Establish very strict boundaries, restricting access to children.

This is just another safeguard to protect children. No parent or church should
have to apologize or explain why they have boundaries keeping adults and
older kids from isolating younger children. Many places have a “two deep” rule
but still fail to restrict access to children. Adults still regularly gain access to
children by having sleepovers, private Bible studies, offering to babysit, and
can easily find corridors and/or open rooms in church buildings where children
can easily be isolated. We train churches to restrict access to children at every
level, not just in the classroom. High risk areas within buildings are assessed
and we develop comprehensive common sense solutions.

Call authorities.
“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. . .
when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible” (Ephesians 5:11, 13
ESV). Whether someone is a mandated or permissive reporter, we train all
people to report suspicions of abuse. Child abuse is not only immoral, it is
illegal. It also is illegal for mandated reporters to be aware of suspicions of
abuse and not report it. Most incidents are not reported because they are so
easily explained away. This is where only the best training is crucial. We
believe that, in order to deter potential abusers from thinking they will ravage
our children, we must return the clear message that anyone who offends our
children will be caught and will go to prison.

Train adults and children alike.

Most programs train adults but fail to train children. Even if children are
trained, “good touch/bad touch” training is not enough. We believe in having
highly trained adults and children. Children are empowered to know if and
when an attempted perpetration is taking place, how to safely respond, and
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how to report the incident to an adult. We believe that communicating to
churches that our adults and children are well trained will make the risk of an
offender getting caught skyrocket. In the words of an incarcerated sex
offender, “The scariest thing is a child who says, ‘No!’ Even scarier is a
child who says, ‘I’m telling.’ That’s a child I won’t mess with.”

http://wineskins.org/2014/03/05/protecting-children-pedophiles-practical-
steps-parents-churches-organizations-identify-address-problem/

Protecting our Children from Pedophiles: Practical Steps for Parents,

Churches and Organizations to Identify and Address This Problem

5 March, 2014

Published by Jimmy Hinton

Note from the editor: I appreciate Jimmy and Les tackling this extremely
difficult subject and sharing with us what they have learned about the dangers
of pedophilia so that we can all take steps to protect those who are most
precious to us and be more aware of what is going on around us. This is not an
easy subject to discuss and there are some things said in the accompanying
video that are very, very difficult to listen to. But this information needs to be
shared, even if it just protects a single child from going through the nightmare
of being abused by a pedophile. Please share this with your elders, your family
minister, or anyone you think needs to get this information (use the Facebook
share button at the top of the post if that is helpful). We can’t let kids suffer
for our lack of boldness and courage to say and hear what needs to be said
and heard. – Matt

I conducted a 3 hour workshop and webinar on child abuse in the church on

February 22, 2014 with Les Ferguson, Jr. as my guest. It is a subject that is
very personal to us—Les because his disabled son Cole fell into the hands of a
sexual molester from church who not only sexually abused Cole, but also
murdered him and Les’ wife Karen. And it’s personal to me because at about
the same time in 2011 our family was devastated to find out that my father
had sexually abused 23 children over the course of his life. Les and I, both
ministers in the churches of Christ and unknown to each other at that time,
were faced with the very strong reality that sexual abuse of children in the
church is very real and, sadly, way too common. For 27 years my dad
preached at the same congregation where I currently preach. Many of the
members I had to inform (before the newspapers informed them) about my
dad’s allegations of abuse were the very people he converted to Christianity
years before.

Dad is now serving a life sentence in a PA state prison for his crimes, but the
Ferguson and Hinton families are all serving our life sentences of grief. Here’s
the catch—we were meted out our sentences of grief simply by being ignorant
and uninformed. This is why Les and I do what we do—to educate and inform

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other people of this dark evil, and to give them tools for keeping their children
safe. If you don’t think it could happen to your child, you better reconsider.
Church is one of the most appealing places for predators, precisely because we
are not expecting it to happen.

Here are just a few points to highlight what we discussed in this seminar.
Please take time and watch the entire video. It’s free. And it’s too important
not to arm yourself with the knowledge needed to protect your kids and the
children that are in the church’s care.

#1 We Christians Are Over-Trusting

We want to believe that the assembly is a safe place for our kids—free from
the threat of any innocence being stripped from them. Unfortunately, churches
that have not taken drastic measures to protect their kids are one of the most
unsafe places we can put our kids. Dad once wrote me from prison, “Churches
are the easiest place for pedophiles to offend. And there are a lot of us in the
church.” We trust adults to watch our kids. We allow access to our children.
Yet 93% of pedophiles describe themselves as religious. That’s important,
because religious people go to church. And, as the famed Dr. Anna Salter
personally told me, “Churches are such inviting targets.” Yes they are. I’ve lost
count of the number of discussions I’ve had with people, just in the churches
of Christ, over the last 2 years who tell me stories of pedophiles abusing
children in their congregations. Keep in mind, these stories are only stories
about those getting caught. Why is this not front page news in our religious
papers? Why do we feel obligated to keep silent about it? Why are our
colleges, seminaries, and churches not conducting background checks on
ministers or teaching them how to protect children? Which leads me to the
next point:

#2 We Are In Denial or We Don’t Want to Believe It

Perhaps most people are where I was prior to 2011. I’d never noticed the daily
barrage of news stories. Who wants to hear about a 2 year old child who’s
been raped by a 60 year old church member? Or an 8 year old boy who was
forced to perform oral sex on a deacon? Yet this is the reality our children are
facing in the church. There are an estimated 42 million survivors of child sex
abuse in the US alone. Most of them will never disclose to anyone, including
their spouse, that they were abused as children. The scars victims of abuse
carry is overwhelming. Over 90% of perpetrators are known by their victims,
adding insult to injury.

Adults are groomed by perpetrators just as their children are. We parents are
groomed to believe that the man from church who offered to baby sit our kids
just enjoys helping overworked parents out. We don’t want to believe that he
really offered in order to isolate our child and gain access to their bodies.
We’ve got to stop denying that this is a problem in the church. My heart breaks
every time I’m contacted by someone in the church seeking advice because
their kids have been sexually abused.

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#3 Churches Need to Be a Place of Protection, Healing, and Justice

I long to see the day when children and survivors of abuse feel safe in our
churches. One young child, after disclosing abuse to her mother by her
minister, was not believed by the mom. The mom spoke with the minister—the
alleged perpetrator—and was convinced that her little girl was mistaken. The
minister recommended that the mom visit another church just to get a second
opinion. When the mother and girl showed up to the other church, the girl was
forced to go into a room alone with 4 men, including the preacher who had
molested her! I grow weary of the stories I hear when pedophiles have groups
of church supporters in the courtroom while the victim takes the stand alone.
What message is this sending? And the stories of children being forced to face
their abuser and forgive him. . . it’s unbearable.

We have to stop giving a free ticket to the plethora of abusers sitting in our
pews. We have to very vocally let our children know that, when they are in our
care, they—not the abusers—are safe. We’ve got to develop protection policies
that change the landscape of our church buildings. We’ve got to develop
crystal clear reporting methods, know mandated reporting laws, and have
shepherds who boldly announce that protecting the flock will take precedence
over budgets. God couldn’t have said it any better when He said, “I will set
shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no
more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing, declares the
Lord” (Jeremiah 23:4 ESV).

I have repeatedly said from the pulpit, “If there is anyone here who is thinking
about abusing children, we will find you, we will report you, and we will call for
the full extent of the law to be carried out against you.” We let people know
that our congregation is not a safe place for would-be abusers. Some will think
that this is too drastic an approach. I disagree. We’ve got to expose the deeds
done in darkness and protect the innocent.

Please take time to watch this video. Listen to the voices of wounded people
who have been devastated by the effects of child molestation. Join us in our
journey to expose this evil in the church and to protect our children.

Signs of Sexually Abused Children

Profile

o High IQ
o Enjoys or is good at art
 Drawing/painting
 Clay sculpting
 Poetry
 The themes are usually of hope, fear, and/or pain
o Unexplained illnesses
o Stress-related physical issues
o Headaches in the temporal region
o Early graying of the hair
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 o Anxiety and depression
o Very protective of her children
o Always busy
o Often running late
o Capable and competent
o Engaging personality
o Wouldn’t want to or knowingly hurt another person
o Tendency toward co-dependency or people-pleasing

Symptoms

Objective/external

o Forgetful
o Losses track of where she parked the car, or how she got to her
appointment/destination
o Unable to recall much in detail about her past
o Changeable mood (mood swings or rapid shifts)
o “Split personality”
o Frequently changes clothes in the morning until she decides which
outfit to wear
o Frequently changes hair style, even during the day (uses a clip and
re-does her hair a lot)
o Often runs late
o Will “suddenly” have to excuse herself or leave an event before it is
over
o “Spaces out” at times (stares blankly), and has a startled response
or is embarrassed when called upon
o Is startled a lot in her own home
o Experiences body memories when she sees, smells, or hears
certain things
o Experiences night terrors, yet can’t seem to recall the dreams
when awakened out of them
o Starts arguments for seemingly no reason, especially when things
seemed to finally be settling down
o Nightmares of being chased, suffocated, or unable to get away
o Will rarely sit through an entire church service
o Has a visceral reaction to liturgical robes and symbols
o Avoids participating in communion
o Overly paranoid of occultist symbols
o Hates particular family heirlooms but will never get rid of them
o Will, at times, wear certain colors, despite knowing that they aren’t
her colors
o Shifting between overly responsible and irresponsible
o Controlling
o Critical of self or others
o Apologetic
o Seems to be attracted to the “wrong” kind of person
o Hyper-vigilant (can’t relax or let down)
o Hates being alone, yet isolates
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o Tearful for no apparent reason
o Inexplicable sense of dread
o Panic attacks and agoraphobia
o Noticeably different styles of hand writing
 Right and left hand
 Consistent with her mood
o Does not need her prescription glasses at times when she would
normally use them
o Self-injurious behavior
o Self-mutilative behavior
o As a child, soiled or wet him/herself, hurt animals, and set fires
o Eating disorders (especially self-induced vomiting)
o Desire to destroy or run from her own sexuality
o Discomfort with normal and progressive steps of bonding and
intimacy
 Driven to move too far too fast or to avoid all together
 Compulsively physical or compulsively avoidant
o Unusual interest in following stories pertaining to child abduction or
child abuse
o Unusual interest in spy or thriller movies
o Unexplainable purchases
o Unexplainable apparel in her closet
o Unexplainable brief trips (where no one knows her where she
went)
o Significant medical complaints
o OBGYN problems
o Infertility issues
o Disconnection between sex and love
o High anxiety during pregnancy (sense of foreboding)
o Loves her kids, but has few photos of them
o Possibility of addiction to pain killers
o Eats for other reasons than hunger
o Keeps gifts from family that she hates or gives her a bad feeling,
but never gets rid of them
o Remembers her childhood as “basically good,” despite evidence
that there were serious underlying issues between mom and dad
o Distorted view of forgiveness
 Forgive prior to forgiveness being requested
 Forgive and forget
 Bury the hatchet regardless of whether there has been
contrition
 Family always sticks together
 Blood is thicker than water
 You can choose your friends, but not your family
 To honor your parents is to tolerate their emotional
irresponsibility
 Parents always love their children
 Food, clothing, shelter = love
o Believe that certain emotions are “good and “bad.”

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Internal/intrapsychic

o A sense of foreboding
o A belief in a personal version of Murphy’s law
 That they are cursed
 Ineligible for good things
 Waiting for the other shoe to drop
 Inexplicable sense of dread
o An increasing degree of anxiety the longer things are calm or go
well
o Uneasy with being quiet or still
o Hears internal voices (yet fearful others will find out lest he/she be
thought of as crazy)
 Super critical
 Persecutorial
 Suicidal
 Must appear all together
 Must keep secrets
 Must endure pain
 Must keep people from knowing
 Dissociates (goes away)
 Feels depersonalized (not real or numb)
 Tries to stay present (by creating enough pain to stay
in the here-and-now)
 Can, at times, recall seeing her body from outside
herself
 Love/hate relationship with the church or religion
 Limited recall of certain recent conversations or event
 Love/hate relationship with paramours of the opposite sex
 Inexplicably irritated by certain people or situations
 Flashes of things too quick to see, but feelings of anxiety or
dread become pronounced
 Panic/dread
 Heightened anxiety and avoidance of certain non-traditional
days on the calendar
 Secretly superstitious to an extreme
 Performs certain repetitive behaviors or rituals to feel better
or safe
 Self-loathing
 Self-deprecating
 Fights to prevent others from loving them or treating them
kindly
 Self-sabotaging
 Ineffective personal boundaries with selfish people
 Feels emotionally tired
 Feels emotional dead

Upon revealing of their inner world

o They will come out fairly fast

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 o They want to tell… each one, while the others want their turn
(finally able to talk, because they are finally believed)
o The roles and rules of the inner world
o The inner system (the layers of the onion, rooms in the house)
o They fear disclosure
o The purpose of each in the system
o How the perpetrator knows how to use dissociation to create the
perfect crime
o They are driven to keep secrets, and to stop any more secrets from
coming out
 Significant internal conflict
 Drive to be known and believed
 Driven to be set free
 Driven to protect the core person
o They will experience dread
 Of the curse coming true
 Of the perpetrators finding out
 Of internal punishment
 Of being disloyal (the Stockholm syndrome)
 Of the meaning and implications of such things having
happened to them
o They will revert to denial
o They will attempt to stop the process
o The different effects of the ages and stages of the abuse
o It gets worse before it gets better
o Pain management
o Dissociation management
o Helping internal harmony
o Helping them to see that they served a noble purpose
o Helping them see that they are not dirty and to blame (as all rape
victims feel)
o Helping them see that they are not evil and bad
o Helping them with the deprogramming process (automatic self-
destruct and self-protective)
o Helping them see the truth about the perpetrators (coming out of
the “family”)
o Helping them realize that they can now choose
o Helping them with boundaries
o Helping them to decide when and how to confront

A word about false memories

o The power of suggestion

o The problem with hypnosis
o Eager therapists
o Eager perpetrators to avoid detection (they go on the offensive)
o The big lie theory (“we would remember anything significant that
happened to us”)
o Back tracking by the client is to be expected, thus the therapist
must have no agenda.
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A word about evil

o The human heart hasn’t changed over the years

o The numbers of missing persons (especially children) is significant
o Children have always been used by evil perpetrators in rituals and
self-gratification
o God’s heart is for innocence and purity, thus they hate it
o The occult has always used this method
o Perpetrators are after gratification and power
o Perpetrators play upon the fact that most people won’t see what
they don’t want to believe

A word about healing and growth

o The person must want healing more than their present pain
 They will have to move into that which they have been
avoiding
o Healing is a process
o The goal is symptom management and problem solving skills
o Growth equates to being able to have personal boundaries
o Growth equates to being able to be fully emotionally present
o Growth equates to being comfortable with emotions
o Growth equates to being able to hold apparent inconsistencies re:
existential and spiritual issues during the process and the journey
o The goal is internal harmony as opposed to “integration”
o The goal is peace and rest

Testimonials

What people are saying about Church Protect:

“I’d like to thank both of you for your program and information shared at
Amherst. My head is still spinning from the exposure to understanding the
mind of why some abusers do what they do. You were both extremely helpful
and knowledgeable of this heart wrenching topic that affects so many people.
May the Lord bless your work to help others with this difficult matter – it is
truly a work that needs attention and exposure. Love is truly a verb – it is
known by what it does.”

“For some years I have worked on projects and programs with Jimmy Hinton of
Somerset, PA… He has been asked to present on several programs at Ohio
Valley University, a Christian school associated with churches of Christ. In each
case, the response has been favorable. Together Jimmy and I worked on a
workshop for church leaders, especially elders, which we hosted on campus.
Jimmy worked with energy and efficiency to make this workshop a remarkable
resource for area congregations… Let me say that Jimmy Hinton’s experiences
over the past couple of years have well-prepared him to help congregations
facing the unthinkable. I welcome any inquiry about Jimmy and urge others to
take advantage of his skills.”

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– Dr. Harold Shank, president of Ohio Valley University

“My name is Les Ferguson, Jr. It is my sincere hope and desire that you have
never heard my name before today. I would love to wake up in a world where I
was just the same old me I had always been before. I would love to know that
when you Googled my name there was nothing of substance to be found.

“But unfortunately that is not the reality of my life. On October 10, 2011, my
world was changed forever. Were you to Google my name, you’d read the story
of a double murder, a wife and a son. You’d get a hint of the backstory, but not
quite all of the excruciating details. Those details include the multiple rapes of
a mentally and physically disabled son. You’d eventually figure out that all of
these horrors were perpetrated by a member of the local church for which I
preached.

“Enter Jimmy Hinton–my friend, brother, and co-worker in the fight against the
wicked evils done to our children. Jimmy has his own story of horror to share—
but instead of curling up in a ball of depression, instead of sticking his head in
the sand, Jimmy has come out swinging in what is the fight of our lives. If you
have ever worried about child sexual abuse in your family, church, school, or
any other group or organization, Jimmy is the man who will know what you are
dealing with and how best to make it stop.I cannot recommend Jimmy highly
enough. He is a warrior and will fight with you and for you. I am proud to call
him my friend.

“God bless us all.”

– Les Ferguson, Jr., Lake Harbour Drive Church of Christ, Ridgeland, MS

lesfergusonjr.com

We cannot count on the law alone for protection

By JIMMY HINTON Cofounder and CEO at Church Protect, Inc

I live in Pennsylvania, less than two hours away from where the infamous Jerry
Sandusky trial took place in 2012. I remember it quite well, because it took
place the same week as my own father’s sentencing for sex crimes against
children. In response to Sandusky’s guilty verdict, Pennsylvania’s General
Assembly appointed a panel to form the Task Force on Child Protection. We
now boast much stricter laws than other states, including stricter reporting
guidelines, required training for mandated reporters, and more required and
frequent background checks. As part of the law, all volunteers who work with
children at churches are required to undergo background checks.

While stricter laws are well-intentioned for combating abuse, statistics so far
are, in my opinion, grim. Here are a few noteworthy points:

 In the wake of the Sandusky scandal, Pennsylvania passed a series of

laws to train more childcare workers, thereby increasing penalties for not
reporting abuse, and requiring far more background checks. In 2014, PA

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 had the highest number of suspected abuse reported (29,273 reports)
yet, ironically, had the lowest number of substantiated reports on record
(only 3,340 for the entire state).

 We at Church Protect predicted the new laws would overburden PA

ChildLine, making reporting inefficient and actually increasing the
likelihood of abusers going undetected. Unfortunately, reports are
confirming our predictions. In a 32-week period from the end of 2014
through February 2015, the 33 permanent PA ChildLine employees
logged 12,000 hours overtime, with one employee reporting 67 hours
overtime in one pay period. Total overtime hours logged for ChildLine
employees in that 32-week period was 20,500, costing the state
$500,000 in overtime wages.

 The prerequisite for reporting abuse is that there is reasonable suspicion

that abuse already occurred, which means people are filing reports after
abuse already happened. Furthermore, as professional agencies are
burdened and reporting becomes more inefficient, there is even less
focus on prevention of abuse.

As I interact with churches across the nation, I notice an alarming theme

among Christians. The church, for the most part, continues to ignore abuse
and hopes that lawmakers will “take care of the issue.” Letting lawmakers take
care of the issue of child abuse is about as effective as witnessing the results
of President Nixon’s famous War On Drugs, which began in 1971. You see,
making (or keeping) something illegal is not a deterrent for anyone bent on
crime. Are the laws well-intentioned and necessary? Yes! But are laws alone
are not enough to stop abuse of any form from spreading. To be sure, drug
abuse in this country is now an epidemic. Drugs remain illegal in all 50 states,
yet in 2009, 23.5 million Americans age 12 and older needed treatment for an
illicit drug or alcohol abuse problem, according to Substance Abuse and Mental
Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

The devil is not stupid. As drug addicts have found more accessible avenues to
feed their addictions—namely, prescription drugs—so pedophiles have found
easier avenues to abuse children. Unfortunately, the church is that avenue. It’s
astounding how common abuse is in the church and how many churches take a
passive stance toward abusers. While our children are crying, the devil is
laughing.

James 4:7 says, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” But when there is
no resistance, the devil will come toward you. Just this week, a story came out
about a Florida minister and his wife who would force young teenage and
prepubescent girls to watch pornography and perform sex acts on the minister.
The trusted minister and his wife even formed a non-profit organization called
Positive Habitat Aspiring Teens (P.H.A.T.) in 1999 and used it for the last 16
years to lure children and abuse them. The news article reports that James
Jackson’s congregation is shocked. I am not. I routinely hear cases far worse
than what Mr. Jackson did, and 100% of the cases Church Protect works with
happen within the church. Most often (over 80% of the time) the perpetrators

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are church leaders—preachers, elders, deacons, youth ministers, and
volunteers.

We are desperate to help survivors who have been traumatized by these

wicked people. But I am even more desperate to call churches to resist the
devil and prevent abuse from happening in the first place. This will not happen
by making abuse more illegal. It can only happen by resisting the devil. We at
Church Protect have been developing materials, and will develop many more
this year to help churches recognize and counter tactics that abusers use to
gain access to children. Having lived with my pedophile father, I know how
easy it is for them to con everyone around them. I know why pedophiles covet
churches like drug addicts covet doctors who love writing prescriptions. I teach
those techniques to churches so they can recognize them and counter them.
We cannot afford to sit around and wait for an incident to happen only to
report it and hope it goes to trial. No, we’ve got to be aware when the devil
enters our space and we’ve got to resist him.

We recently added survivor support services to our website so that churches

have a viable place to point survivors of abuse. Many churches are ill-equipped
to help survivors find the resources they need to begin healing. Many victims
of abuse cannot afford counseling or have difficulty finding a trustworthy
therapist. Our support services are 100% free and confidential.

We also offer online video consulting for churches who need help navigating
suspicions or allegations of abuse. And our newest product will be coming very
soon! It is a 5-part video series with a study guide that accompanies each
lesson. It was recorded to be used in adult Bible studies, but can be used by
anyone. There is enough material for 10 weeks, but it can easily be used in a
13-week quarter. It’s a great way for churches to get the conversation going
on abuse. Finally, be looking out for our wellness kits soon! They are designed
specifically for people who struggle with high anxiety. It is an incredible
resource for healing and we can’t wait to unveil it! Please continue to visit our
website to stay up to date and follow us on Facebook.

Copyright © 2016 Church Protect, Inc.

http://us11.campaign-
archive1.com/?u=d2d31931d1a79ceb1f09cd990&id=04cc814b34

http://wineskins.org/2014/04/08/what-place-do-pedophiles-have-in-the-
church/

What Place do Pedophiles Have in the Church?

8 April, 2014

Published by Jimmy Hinton

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After Jimmy Hinton’s previous article on “Protecting Our Children from
Pedophiles” I asked him to write a follow up piece about what we can do as
Christians to continue to understand how to interact with people who struggle
with this as they are people just as in need of Jesus as anyone else. This article
is Jimmy’s response to that question. Jimmy just presented on this at Tulsa
last week and has some recommendations for churches in this article. We may
not all agree on how this is handled but the conversation is as relevant and
necessary as ever. Last, like Jimmy’s first article, there are some difficult
things to read in this article but they are left in because this conversation is so
vitally important that we are able to provide space to have an open and honest
conversation on these things. – Matt

This is a subject that is deeply personal to me and I write from the perspective
of someone whose dad is currently serving a life sentence for sex crimes
against children. To make it more personal, my dad is the former minister at
the same exact church where I now preach. To make it even more personal, I
was the one approached by one of his victims three years ago. Three days
later I reported my own father to the police, which eventually led to his
confessions and subsequent 30-60 year prison sentence. My dad and I still
communicate fairly often and have frank conversations about how he was able
to abuse over 20 children and keep it hidden from us his whole life. He once
wrote from prison, “You have no idea how many pedophiles there are in the
church.” But there’s where he is wrong.

Now that I write and speak on this subject, I encounter stories of pedophiles in
the church on a regular basis. It literally is an epidemic. We are fooling
ourselves to believe otherwise. I just returned from Tulsa, where I spoke on
abuse. Nearly ½ of attendees stayed after and told me stories of their or close
family members’ abuse. . . horrible stories. Did you catch that? 50% of my
audience had either been abused themselves or had a close family member
who had. This is my experience everywhere I speak. There have been no
exceptions.

There seems to be a nagging question to a private problem in the church—“Is

child molestation the unforgivable sin?” I’ve heard a wide range of answers to
this question. Some liken it to Paul who approved of the murders of Christians
but then had a “Jesus moment” and became an apostle of the Lord. “Who are
we to judge them if they’ve repented?,” the argument goes. Others argue that,
since there is no cure for pedophilia, they will never be able to change.
Therefore, we should not allow them in the church at all.

And so I offer my perspective—not to spark debate, but because I am in a

unique position. I know some of my dad’s victims personally and have heard
their stories. I am haunted by that. I listen to similar stories everywhere I go,
and they are always equally painful to hear. I do not write as the final
authority on this matter. Each congregation must make its own wise decisions.
But I offer you my perspective as a minister of the Gospel and as one who
knows the thought patterns of both pedophiles and their victims.

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I will state my view upfront, then explain why this is my view. I believe that,
while pedophiles can and should repent, the church is not in a position to
welcome them into the assembly where children are present. In fact, we
have written into our policy that any known sex offenders will be removed
from regular worship and will be offered an alternative worship with a group of
adults only. This can be at the church building or in a home. But for them to
participate in worship with children present is an act of sheer insensitivity and
irresponsibility.

Let’s begin with pedophiles (I am limiting the scope of this essay to pedophiles
only). The medical definition of a pedophile is (1) someone who is aroused by,
has intense, recurring fantasies, or is involved in sexual behaviors with
prepubescent children (13 or younger), (2) someone who is aroused by, has
sexual fantasies, or is involved with a child for at least 6 months, (3) someone
who is at least 16 years old, and (4) at least 5 years older than the child(ren)
he or she is attracted to. Pedophiles generally have cognitive distortions (self-
lies) which they truly believe. While they groom their victims to think that the
victim initiated sexual contact, ironically the pedophile also tells himself that
the victim came on to him. There is a flat-out denial of responsibility here. Put
another way, pedophiles tend to view themselves as the victim of the children
who “came on to” them. One man, after assaulting his young daughter, told
investigators, “I slipped on a bar of soap and my penis just went into her.”
Another man, who repeatedly assaulted his 4 year old daughter, said that his
daughter liked to rub her foot up and down his penis. He went on, “She ‘loves’
to orgasm. I’ll get her a vibrator. She’ll hold the handle against her peepee and
giggle until she climaxes” (Salter, 18).

It sounds too extraordinary to be true, but these types of stories are the norm.
And they don’t seem to change with therapy or verbal repentance. And they
are prevalent in the church. Listen to this excerpt:

I want to describe a child molester I know very well. This man was raised by
devout Christian parents. As a child he rarely missed church. Even after he
became an adult, he was faithful as a church member. He was a straight A
student in high school and college. He has been married and has a child of his
own. He coached Little League baseball. He was a choir director at his church.
He never used any illegal drugs. He never had a drink of alcohol. He was
considered a clean-cut, all-American boy. Everyone seemed to like him. He
was a volunteer in numerous civic community functions. He had a well-paying
career job. He was considered “well-to-do” in society. But from the age of
thirteen years old he sexually molested little boys. He never victimized a
stranger. All of his victims were friends… I know this child molester very well
because he is me! (Salter, 36-37).

Mr. Raines, the man quoted above, was in prison for a short time then was let
out on parole. He almost immediately infiltrated a church and became the
director of the children’s choir. He was incarcerated two more times after this.
Dr. Salter, who met him in prison says, “I believe in my heart the next time
Mr. Raines gets out of prison, he will successfully ingratiate himself in youth
activities in a church once more. He will do this even though he now has at
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least three criminal convictions for child molestation and likely more, all of
which any church could have discovered. But who will check criminal records
for such an outstanding, polite, well-spoken young man? After all, volunteers
are hard to come by” (Salter, 37).

I could go on and on and give example after example of this. Perceived

repentance, tears of sorrow, promises to never do it again, stories that
minimize what actually went on during the abuse—these are ploys to gain
access to children. Pedophiles successfully molest children without us adults
knowing it. This is what makes them successful. And here’s the catch—
churches are welcoming them with warm embraces in the name of Jesus.

Let’s talk about victims of abuse for a moment. An estimated 1 in 4 girls and 1
in 7 boys has been sexually abused as a child. I thought this number was
exaggerated until experience told me otherwise. At every place I’ve spoken,
more than ¼ of the audience revealed to me that they were molested or raped
as children. And these are just the ones who are talking about it. I suspect
there are more. I’ve heard firsthand the horror stories. “I tried to tell people—
my mom, people at church—but nobody believed me and my dad continued to
molest me until I was 16.” Another one, with tears rolling down her face, says
to me, “I was forced to forgive him and was told that if I didn’t I would be
kicked out of church.”

The gospel I read gives a different picture. Victims and the vulnerable—not the
attackers—are supposed to be protected. Jesus did it with the woman caught
in adultery. He did it with the woman at the well in Samaria. And don’t forget
his infamous fightin’ words: “Whoever receives one such child in my name
receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in me to
sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his
neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matthew 18:5-6 ESV). I
know that we could go round and round with verses, some on forgiveness and
mercy, others on judgment. That is not the point here. Believe me, I wrestle
with this on a daily basis. I wish we could see a clean-cut version of crystal-
clear repentance and redemption where we don’t have to question whether
someone is still abusing children. But I also know what reality looks like with
abusers, and it’s not promising.

What’s worse is that many churches are unknowingly siding with child abusers
by allowing them into services with children. Imagine, for a moment, that you
are in the shoes of a survivor of abuse. At 3 years old (my daughter’s age),
you are forced to perform oral sex on your uncle when he takes you out for ice
cream. You are told, as many victims of abuse are, that this is what good little
boys and girls do, and that this is what God wants you to do. You believe that
the sex is your fault, and that if you tell everyone else will think it’s your fault.
So you keep it inside, as 95% of abused children do. Fast forward a few years.
You are (reluctantly) at church. An elder gets up and tells the church that
brother George has had attractions to children but has repented and we need
to love him as Jesus does, no questions asked. “Forgive and forget,” he says.
Warm hugs are exchanged and tears are streaming down their cheeks.
Meanwhile George, as he’s walking back to his seat, tussles your hair along the
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way. In an instant, you begin reliving your childhood abuse all over again.
These are the things that re-victimize children all the time. A survivor of abuse
once told me, with her head in her hands, “How the hell can I ever trust God or
the church again?” Until we protect our children and the vulnerable, it’s not
going to happen.

In conclusion, experience and education prove that pedophilia is a strong evil.

Manipulation, lies, and secrecy drive the engine of sexual abuse. Because it is
so secretive, it is impossible to gauge whether a sex offender is ever truly
repentant. Good hard statistics show that the vast majority of sex offenders
re-offend when put back into a high risk setting, such as a church. Why?
Because they are tempted by children and because we give them access to the
drug of their choice. I believe that, with good treatment and lots of prayer,
pedophiles can repent. But make no mistake—they will always be attracted to
children. And because they are attracted to children, and because they have
successfully offended in the past, and because survivors of abuse fear their
presence, and because we are called to protect the vulnerable, when we invite
them in a gathering with children, and because there is no true test to know if
they’ve repented, and because they prey on the naivety of church members,
and because sexual abuse has such devastating spiritual, mental, and
emotional effects, we owe it to everybody to keep children and sex offenders
separate. Period.

So what place do pedophiles have in the church? Repentant pedophiles have

no place with children any more than drug addicts have with drugs. But they
do have a place in the kingdom. They still can volunteer in activities that
exclude children. They still can serve, pray, even teach in the alternate service.
Pedophiles need community the same as everyone else. God designed us to
desire community. To exclude sex offenders from redemption is to play the
part of God. We cannot decide whether God’s grace has covered them or not.
We pray for the redemption of pedophiles the same as every other one of us
sinners. We serve the same God. But to not take measures to protect the
innocent is Christian malpractice.

http://www.michaelhanegan.com/blog/silentcofc-the-trust-deception-jimmy-
hinton

#SilentCofC: The Trust Deception

By Jimmy Hinton

August 6, 2014

Today's guest post is from my new friend Jimmy Hinton. He serves as the
minister at the Somerset Church of Christ in Somerset, Pennsylvania. He
writes often about issues of abuse at his blog and is in the initial launch of his
new ministry, Church Protect. Jimmy's journey into helping the Church think
about the scope and cost of child sexual abuse came in the aftermath of
learning that his father, a Church of Christ minister, was a pedophile with

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dozens of victims. His voice is important in our fellowship and I am thankful for
his contribution today.

WARNING: Jimmy doesn't sugar-coat the nature of abuse. This is important,

but for some, especially those who have been victimized in the past, it may
serve as a trigger. For the rest of us, please consider Jimmy's honest and
unsanitized perspective as an exercise in learning empathy for victims of this
horrific evil.

I had just spoken as a keynote at a large conference for professionals who deal
with abuse. For many theological and psychological reasons that I won’t
unpack here, I take a strong stance that pedophiles should not have access to
our children, even (especially!) in worship. A man came up to me after my
speech and said, “You’re a preacher and you say that pedophiles and children
should be separated.” “Yep,” I said unflinchingly. “Let me just ask you, where
is the trust and forgiveness in that?” I assured him that mistaking forgiveness
and trust is a grave mistake. They are not the same thing. We can forgive
people who should never be trusted again. It’s a strange notion that we
somehow magically believe that people who say, “Sorry” will never struggle
with temptation again.

This man’s response is not uncommon among church leaders. I regularly get
challenged by people who have never spent time either with a pedophile or
with their victims. They haven’t had to face the reality of witnessing the lies,
manipulation, and denial from pedophiles. Nor have they heard the horror
stories from survivors who were humiliated, stripped naked, poked, prodded,
and caressed with the tongues and fingers of their perpetrators. I have. And I
acknowledge what the Bible and psychologists both agree upon—Children
need responsible adults to protect them.

When I shared this man’s response with my ministry partner, who happens to
counsel incarcerated sex offenders, without hesitation he offered me the
following advice.

“Always keep a 3x5 notecard and a pen in your pocket. Next time someone
is adamant that you are ‘unfair’ and need to integrate pedophiles into your
church, take down their name and personal number. Write down their home
address as well as their church address, number, times of service, etc. And
just tell them, ‘You know what? You’re right and I’m wrong. Pedophiles do
need a place to worship among children. We are not equipped to make that
happen but we are willing to pay for the flight, bus ticket, gas, or whatever
to send the next pedophile we meet directly to your home. Thank you so
much for agreeing to integrate them into your own home and church.’”

Now before anyone draws too harsh a judgment, let me be clear. I want
pedophiles to be redeemed. I’m not arguing that we ban them from church
unless, of course, they show no signs of remorse or repentance. What I’m
arguing is that, according to the Bible, we have the highest calling to protect
our children and so, pedophiles who have repeatedly perpetrated upon children
have no business being surrounded by them. We should offer an alternative
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worship service without kids where temptation does not cause a repentant
pedophile to stumble. We do it with drug addicts. We don’t serve booze to
alcoholics. So why do we insist that we serve our children on a platter to
someone whose appetite is so insatiable that he or she has repeatedly stripped
a child of their clothes, innocence, and decency? God “does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:33), so why do we?

The most common cliché I hear from churches who insist on not taking any
precautions to protect their children is this—“We have a group of volunteers we
trust so why would we upset them by demanding background checks and
watching over them every time they want to serve?” Great question. Let me
tell you about a story of a man who trusted his own father. . . who happened
to be a well-respected father and preacher! My dad has dozens of victims who
all have dramatic stories of shame, pain, and humiliation. He was able to gain
access to children precisely because everybody trusted him. Let me also tell
you about hundreds of other people who have shared similar stories with me
as I listen to their painful stories. They all tell a similar story: “Nobody
questioned my abuser because he was the guy everyone loved and trusted.”

I can assure you that if you are, like I was at one time, looking for the creepy
guy standing behind the bushes by the ice cream truck, you’re looking in the
wrong place. A successful pedophile is not someone who offended a child and
got away with it. No, a successful pedophile is someone who offended children
over and over while gaining the love, respect, and trust from those closest to
him. The successful pedophile is the last person anyone would suspect as an
abuser and the first person someone would choose to care for their kids. And
there is a lot of success out there, especially in our churches. My dad once
wrote me from prison, “Churches and Christian daycares are the easiest places
to offend.” Touché.

I call this the “trust deception.” We Christians are deceived precisely because
we want to trust. Dr. Gene Abel did a massive study among over 1,000
pedophiles and found that 93% of them identified themselves as religious.
That’s a huge deal! We picture pedophiles as monsters with 3 heads who deny
God and mock Jesus. It’s simply not true. The vast majority of them believe in
God and identify as Christians. The reason I make such a huge deal about this
is because religious people typically go to church! If 93% of pedophiles are
religious, that means the majority of pedophiles are frequenting your churches.
It gets worse.

The reason churches are among the highest risk for sex offenses to occur is
that we have created the perfect storm. As the famed Dr. Anna Salter once
told me, “They (churches) are such inviting targets.” There are 3 main
ingredients to our Molotov concoction:

1. Christians by nature are generally naïve. Quite honestly, we don’t

want to know what kinds of things happen outside our own happy
bubbles. It disrupts our happy time and forces us to think about
something tragic and actually do something about it. Let’s be honest—

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 prophets like Jeremiah weren’t exactly known for gaining converts
through uplifting sermons.
2. Churches are desperate for volunteers. When someone—heck when
anyone—volunteers to help out, especially with kids, we describe them
as “gifts from heaven.”
3. We wrongly trust everyone because “church folk” are safe people
and church is a safe place. Wrong! Going to church makes a person a
trusted individual no more than standing in a garage makes them a car.
The only way church will be a safe place is if we make it a safe place.
And this can be done. The refusal by many church leaders to adopt
healthy policies to protect their kids is mind-numbing.

There are 42 million survivors of child sex abuse in the United States alone. As
someone who does church consulting and regularly conducts workshops on
abuse in the Churches of Christ across the nation, let me tell you, it is an
epidemic. Am I an alarmist? No, I’m a realist. Just in the last few months, I’ve
had somewhere around 100 survivors of child sex abuse share their stories of
churches either actively covering up accusations of abuse or just flat out
denying that it happens. Shame on us. We can do better than this for the very
children Jesus called us to imitate. Christ became indignant when his disciples
blocked them from coming near him. How much more indignant should we
become when church leaders deny children a safe environment to worship?
Children should not have to cower in fear every time they enter an assembly to
worship. Let’s vow to do better at preventing abuse.

About Church Protect

Our Mission:

Protecting, Equipping, and Supporting churches to prevent and report abuse

while meaningfully helping those who have been impacted by the trauma of
sexual abuse.

Church Protect began as a result of Jimmy finding out that his father, a former
minster, is a pedophile. God allowed Jimmy’s path to intersect with Jon Uhler
and a partnership was born. Jon has over 20 years of counseling experience
working as a clinical therapist, has worked extensively with survivors of child
sex abuse, and has over 10 years of experience working with sex offenders
who are in prison. Jimmy travels nationally, speaking at churches and other
organizations, training and equipping church leaders and professionals on
detection and prevention of abuse.

Jimmy is a full time minister and Jon has theological training as well, making
them a great team to help churches combat abuse. As both listen to countless
stories of brokenness, humiliation, and shattered innocence, they agree that it
is a sin to sit on the sidelines while millions of children are being sexually
abused and trafficked each year.

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“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For
it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret” (Ephesians
5:11-12 ESV).

Over 90% of pedophiles identify themselves as religious. This is a huge deal

for churches because religious people tend to go to church. In the words of a
pedophile, “Churches are the easiest places to offend.” Pedophilia is at
epidemic proportions in the church and, sadly, there are few resources for
church leaders to combat this plague. With 42 million survivors of child sex
abuse in the United States, it is nearly impossible to find a church that doesn’t
have victims of abuse. Sadly, most abuse remains undetected. Worse yet,
most alleged cases are not reported by church leaders to the authorities and
the majority of allegations are dismissed by leaders who don’t know how to
detect abuse.

Church Protect is a consulting ministry that offers the combined expertise and
experiences of Jon and Jimmy. No longer do church leaders have to guess how
to handle difficult situations involving young children who are sexualized in
their churches. It’s time we take a stand against abuse and shout, “ENOUGH!”

Church Protect, Inc.

09.11.2016

While a lot of people are reeling from the aftermath of of a very divisive
election, the devil is as unified as ever IN OUR CHURCHES. This little girl is 4
years old. FOUR. What were you doing at 4 years old? Most of us could not
even tie our shoes at 4 years old. This girl walked to the restroom while her
church family was praying. Take a moment and in your mind walk that journey
from the sanctuary to the restroom with her. Imagine innocently skipping
along, thinking you're just going to pee and skip right back into the arms of
your parents. Yet, sadly for her, that trip to the bathroom changed her life
forever. You see this man, Rolis Wheeler, who was instrumental in the life of
the church, ambushed her and stole her innocence away. How common is this
in the church? In my experience, incredibly. It's far, FAR more common that
any of us could imagine.

We at Church Protect have worked tirelessly to counter this by developing a

walk-through where we demonstrate how these wicked people are molesting
and raping children while the rest of us worship. It's not pleasant, but it opens
our eyes so that we can use techniques to counter these child rapists. Believe
it or not, what Rolis Wheeler did to this child was completely preventable. The
reason he, like tens of thousands of others, are able to do this time and time
again is that most people assume the church building is a safe place. These
predators use that to their advantage. We have vowed to make church the
most unsafe place for sickos like Rolis Wheeler.

4-year-old sexually assaulted during church services, police say

http://www.wbrc.com/story/33645229/4-year-old-sexually-assaulted-during-
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church-services-police-say?clienttype=generic

Church Protect, Inc.

30.09.2016

I drove truck in between college and seminary (weird, I know!). Our classroom
instructor told us that, from time to time, we would be hauling "high dollar
loads"--electronics, baby grand pianos, exotic furniture, etc. Some of these
loads were worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The rule for us drivers was
simple--protect those high dollar loads! "Don't talk about what you're hauling
over the CB radio," our teacher said. "People pretend to be truck drivers but
are actually mining information for high dollar loads to heist. As soon as you
leave the truck to use the bathroom, they'll pick the locks and drive off with
the whole rig." We were told to stay with our truck when we hauled high dollar
loads. They also told us to keep the trailer locked and back it against a wall or
pole when we slept so nobody could open the doors.

Never once did anyone in my class refute the instructor. Never once did we
say, "No, there aren't really people who would do that" or, "You're just being
paranoid." Nobody stormed out of class. Nobody refused to heed his advice.
Nobody. When I hauled high dollar loads, I protected them. It was easy to do
(not to mention I felt a little like Superman getting to guard my load!).

Then I went into ministry and found an eerie resistance (oftentimes hostile
resistance) to protecting our church's most valuable assets--children. Church
leaders have written apologies to us because their peers were adamant that
they would NEVER have someone come in and talk about abuse. Isn't it
strange that we work harder to protect our "stuff" than we do to protect
priceless children? Isn't it strange that we leave the door wide open for
predators, often laying the welcome mat out before opening it for them?

https://www.facebook.com/ChurchProtect/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED&fref=nf

Church Protect, Inc.

8 November 2016

We've been asked many times to not use "offensive" language in our seminars
when we speak at churches. You know what's offensive to us? Wicked
reprobates who masquerade as saints inside our churches so they can murder,
torture, molest, and rape innocent children who simply came to sing songs to
Jesus. Kayla was her name. She was 10. She was at church when she
disappeared. Thinking of what this little girl's last thoughts must have been
before she breathed her last breath inside that well is offensive. So no, we will
not soften our language so you can feel better about yourself. We will continue
to call this evil what it is. And we will fight like hell to protect these children. If
that's offensive to you, get out of our way and let us do your work.

Caleb Downs, Breaking News reporter , Uncle charged with murder in 10-year-

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old East Texas girl's death,
http://www.dallasnews.com/news/crime/2016/11/06/authorities-jailuncle-10-
year-old-texas-girl-found-dead-immigration-hold

Church Protect, Inc.

26 October 2016

Just had a phone conversation with an alleged abuse case in the church. "What
in the world causes so many people to molest young children? How does
someone get that warped?"

Good question--Pornography, the elephant nobody wants to acknowledge. The

genres of pornography are getting more and more bizarre and actresses are
intentionally made to look younger and younger. "Jail Bate" porn is a thing. The
porn industry is very competitive and peoples' demands push these genres. It
was a matter time, but the time is here. Virtual reality porn. Bookmark this
post for the future and mark my words--"Pornographers will find loopholes in
laws and will produce legal virtual reality porn with minor children in the very
near future."

Church Protect, Inc.

30 November 2016

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, double shame on you. Fool me
time and time and time again, taking a job as a pastor, school teacher, doctor,
nurse, or any other job where you pretend to love children while you rape and
torture them--shame on me if I don't personally do everything in my power to
turn you in and keep you from ever being near a child EVER again. Make no
mistake--all child sexual abusers are vile and take pleasure in destroying the
lives of God's most innocent children.

From the article: "Investigators catalogued hundreds of thousands of images

and videos of “horrific sexual acts against very young children, some of the
worst they have ever viewed,” Inspector Beaven-Desjardins said at the press
conference.

Police seized over 45 terabytes of data from the $4-million business that
distributed to over 50 counties including Australia, Spain, Mexico, Sweden and
Greece."

Daniella Silva, NBC News, Nearly 400 children rescued and 348 adults arrested
in Canadian child pornography bust,

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/other/nearly-400-children-rescued-348-
adults-arrested-canadian-child-pornography-f2D11599561

Church Protect, Inc.

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17 November 2016

Let's clear up some confusion--almost all the churches we work with who've
interacted with child rapists tell us how "bad" the predators felt about their
"relationships" with children. Let's make this as clear as possible. . . . CHILD
RAPISTS ARE PLAYING ON YOUR EMOTIONS. THEY DON'T HAVE THE CAPACITY
TO FEEL BAD. This boy is 9 years old. He was raped by 2 men who formed a
relationship over a common bond--they both love to humiliate, devalue,
torture, and create nightmares by raping little boys. Next time anyone hears a
sob story about how bad the abuser felt, remember this boy. . . and millions of
others just like him.

AG: Child porn defendant brought boy, 9, for another to rape,

http://wjactv.com/news/nation-world/ag-child-porn-defendant-brought-boy-9-
for-another-to-rape

Church Protect, Inc.

9 November 2016

While a lot of people are reeling from the aftermath of of a very divisive
election, the devil is as unified as ever IN OUR CHURCHES. This little girl is 4
years old. FOUR. What were you doing at 4 years old? Most of us could not
even tie our shoes at 4 years old. This girl walked to the restroom while her
church family was praying. Take a moment and in your mind walk that journey
from the sanctuary to the restroom with her. Imagine innocently skipping
along, thinking you're just going to pee and skip right back into the arms of
your parents. Yet, sadly for her, that trip to the bathroom changed her life
forever. You see this man, Rolis Wheeler, who was instrumental in the life of
the church, ambushed her and stole her innocence away. How common is this
in the church? In my experience, incredibly. It's far, FAR more common that
any of us could imagine.

We at Church Protect have worked tirelessly to counter this by developing a

walk-through where we demonstrate how these wicked people are molesting
and raping children while the rest of us worship. It's not pleasant, but it opens
our eyes so that we can use techniques to counter these child rapists. Believe
it or not, what Rolis Wheeler did to this child was completely preventable. The
reason he, like tens of thousands of others, are able to do this time and time
again is that most people assume the church building is a safe place. These
predators use that to their advantage. We have vowed to make church the
most unsafe place for sickos like Rolis Wheeler.

4-Year-Old Sexually Assaulted During Church Services in West Sacramento,

http://fox40.com/2016/11/05/4-year-old-sexually-assaulted-during-church-
services-in-west-sacramento/

Dangerous Myths that Enable Perpetrators

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By Jon Uhler, Church Protect co-founder and president

One of Church Protect's roles is to call church leaders back to a correct view of
how churches and Christians should approach this most important of all
issues—the physical and emotional safety and welfare of the most vulnerable
and the most deeply wounded and scarred among us. Proverbs makes it clear
that the king's primary job was to winnow out all evil when rendering
decisions, so that he could act in accordance with the Lord's heart (Prov. 20:8-
12). It is imperative that church leaders understand His heart, for we are
called to love what He loves and hate what He hates. We must come to sense
His heart for the oppressed, and be impacted by what He considers to be
exceedingly offensive and abhorrent. He will accept no excuses for failure
to advocate for and protect the vulnerable and injured in our midst (Prov.
31:8-9).

Toward that end, Church Protect co-founder Jimmy Hinton and I have begun
tackling some of the most dangerous myths and lines of reasoning used by
Christians. Such myths have resulted in Christians not only providing "aid and
comfort to the enemy," but have also turned churches into "sanctuary cities"
for the most deceptive and cunning of all individuals. Our podcasts will tackle
these distortions in a very thorough and systematic fashion.

Some of the more prominent myths are:

 We all have been caught in various sins, and such were some of us.
 You are categorizing people and sinners.
 You are putting people on indefinite probation.
 Judge not lest you be judged.
 A sin is a sin is a sin (all sin is equal).
 Forgive and forget.
 Forgiveness sets the survivor free.
 If the survivor does not forgive, then she/he is the one casting the first
stone.
 What about the log in the survivor's eye? Who really is in a position to
cast the first stone?
 To not forgive is to hold on to bitterness, thus allowing for a root of
bitterness to take hold.
 Is the perpetrator to be consigned to pay for his sins the rest of his life,
by being ostracized and marginalized?
 Church Protect is advocating going on witch hunts.
 To approach perpetrators this way is the same thing the Pharisees did in
John 8, as they picked up stones to kill the woman.
 The injured party must forgive as Jesus, Stephen, and Joseph did.
 The Lord accepts everyone at His table.
 We can't question the legitimacy of someone's repentance.
 To not forgive is to assign the perpetrator a scarlet letter.
 The bigger person should forgive.
 The perpetrator needs our acceptance to be able to move on.
 Love means never having to say you're sorry.

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The perpetrator's best friend in the church is the person who holds to the
flawed, faulty, and dangerous premise that Christians are to neither assess,
nor test, the veracity of another person's motives. Wolves can only pass for
innocent sheep if those watching the flock are not looking closely and guarding
vigilantly. Of all tasks imparted to Christian leaders, it is that of ensuring the
health, safety, and welfare of the sheep that the Lord views as most important
(2 Peter 2). And, it is not just the issue of orthodox theology being referenced,
but it is the physical and emotional welfare of the flock.

Similarly, the watchmen on the walls throughout Israel needed to have the
unique ability to see, discern, and identify the real from the false, the friend
from the foe, the ally from the pretender, lest a dangerous foothold be gained
by the enemy (Ezekiel 33). Far from a lack of spirituality, the role and the
ability of the watchman was the most important and valued of roles, as it held
the key to the health, safety, and welfare of the city. Unfortunately, the exact
opposite is now being touted in today's churches as the highest of virtues.
Couched in terms of "grace" and "non-judgmental acceptance," today's
Christian leaders have relinquished both their ability and their responsibility to
guard the sheep entrusted to them, while welcoming the most cunning wolves
into the flock. However, nothing could be further from the truth. For, grace,
devoid of truth, is simply license and approval for those who have anything but
pure motives.

The Word of God is replete with admonitions regarding discernment. And, the
Book of Proverbs is unmistakably clear on the subject. In Prov. 26:23-26,
Solomon, under the inspiration of God's Spirit, clearly warned against "taking
people at face value." He asserts, "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart,
just as pretty glaze covers a clay pot. People may cover their hatred with
pleasant words, but they'd be deceiving you. They pretend to be kind, but
DON'T believe them. Their hearts are full of many evils. While hatred may be
conceited by trickery, their wrongdoing shall be (needs to be, must be, will be)
exposed or shown openly in public and before the assembly."

Additionally, Prov. 27:19-21 emphasizes that it is the heart of a person that

reflects the real person. Thus, only in being able to closely examine and test
the heart of a person from a Biblical perspective will his heart ever be truly
revealed.

Far from a mark of supposed spirituality to suspend any inclination toward

"judgement" (i.e. discernment), it is actually the height of presumption,
naivety, and gross negligence to not closely scrutinize particular individuals
who are either known or suspected to be child perpetrators. To opt for a "nice"
or user-friendly approach is to place children at risk and to re-
traumatize survivors.

Even in lesser matters, Paul is very clear about the need for discernment and
boundaries. He spoke of the fallacy of an open-arms approach to people whose
conduct demonstrates they are anything other than true believers. In fact, he
makes it a point to highlight how naive, foolish, and even dangerous the

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Corinthian believers were for tolerating those who should not be tolerated as a
so-called sign of Christian magnanimity (2 Cor 11:19-21). Far from a mark of
spirituality, a willingness to welcome, embrace, accept, and support anyone
into the full life of the assembly solely based the words they espouse, it is
actually a dangerous sign of poor leadership, a lack of discernment, and
highlights a lack of understanding of both the nature of oppression and how
the Lord feels about victims.

We look forward to receiving your questions, and we will continue to endeavor

to answer those on future podcasts. And, thanks for those of you who help us
financially, for your partnership is a vital part of Church Protect's mission to
both educate church leaders and support survivors.

Fighting Pedophilia in the Church: A Special Ops Ministry

Posted by Jimmy Hinton

As I sat in college Bible classes, I daydreamed of what I’d be doing in ministry.

I heard professors tell us students cool stories of being missionaries overseas.
For the first time in my life, I was in the heart of the Bible Belt where the
church was thriving. And it was awesome! I logged many hours at the feet of
amazing, passionate men of God who have influenced and inspired so many–
men like Jimmy Allen, Jack Lewis, Jerry Rushford, and so many others. I had
dreams of being a church leader who, through the Holy Spirit, would
experience God breathing life into his anemic church in the Northeast where I
grew up. Then in 2011, just barely 2 years into my role as the preacher at my
childhood congregation, those dreams were shattered when a victim disclosed
to me that she had been molested for years by my father.

My world came crashing in on me. I had no idea the burden that God was
about to place on my shoulders and the radical shift I was about to take in
ministry. Nor would I know the price my family would pay for the sins of my
father. My mother and I reported my childhood hero to the police. We both
trembled in fear, not knowing what would happen next. My father, who
ministered for decades at the church where I still preach to this day, is serving
a 30-60 year sentence for sex crimes against very young children.

I still preach full time at the Somerset Church of Christ in Pennsylvania, about
15 miles from where hijacked United 93 nose dived into the ground on 9/11
and 5 miles from the Quecreek Mine where 9 trapped coal miners were rescued
the following year. In 2015, I co-founded Church Protect, Inc. It is a non profit
ministry that provides specialized training in the prevention and detection of
child sexual abuse within churches. We also routinely consult with churches
where allegations of abuse have surfaced and we walk those church leaders
through the process of ministering their churches though it. It’s not as simple
as suspecting abuse, reporting it, and going back to life as it was before. Once
a report is made, lives and the course of the church are changed forever.
Because I am wading through the carnage left behind by my father, we have a
vested interest in helping churches and families prepare for the impact.

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Abusers are incredibly skilled at grooming and molesting children, are tedious
at covering their tracks, and are often the people we respect and admire the
most. In fact, almost every church we’ve consulted with have had as their
abusers the most trusted and well liked church leaders–preachers, elders,
deacons, youth ministers, missionaries, Sunday school teachers, and leaders of
Christian camps. While there’s never an excuse for protecting an abuser, I
understand why most people deny that someone they know is raping children
even when we repeat the facts back to them. This is the biggest reason we
suggest churches hire professionals to consult with. Since my colleague and I
usually don’t know the perpetrator personally, we can be far more objective
and we have zero interest in protecting or covering for the abuser. The
temptation to defend the offender is far too great when church leaders are
forced to report their best friend. It creates a major conflict of interest for most
people and it’s just good practice to have fresh eyes from an outsider. As a
good friend recently said, “Justice is no longer blind if a judge is giving a
sentence to a good friend of his.” Walking a church through the aftermath of
abuse, especially when there are victims within the congregation, is an
incredibly delicate process and must be handled with extreme care. There are
so, so many variables that need to be considered.

Church Protect has a growing online Survivor’s Support section, where

churches can send people who were once victims of child sexual abuse. These
services are 100% free and confidential. The majority of abuse victims we
speak with have either been ignored, excluded, disfellowshipped, forced to
forgive their abuser, or were verbally (and sometimes sexually) abused by
church leaders. This is revictimization at its worst and, sadly, it happens far
more often than not. We felt that survivors needed a safe place to share with
one another, so it was a natural progression to develop survivor support for
survivors of child sexual abuse that is led solely by survivors.

In recent months, it is rare that a week passes without several congregations

contacting us about allegations of abuse. I had another call just yesterday
concerning a child rapist in a local church. Today there was another. Predators
have enthusiastically infiltrated the church and are destroying the souls of our
children in mass numbers. Peter was exactly right about wicked men who prey
on the innocence of others: “Bold and willful, they do not tremble as they
blaspheme the glorious ones, whereas angels, though greater in might and
power, do not pronounce a blasphemous judgment against them before the
Lord. But these, like irrational animals, creatures of instinct, born to be caught
and destroyed. . . They count it pleasure to revel in the daytime. They are
blots and blemishes, reveling in their deceptions, while they feast with you.
They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls.

They have hearts trained in greed. Accused children!” (2 Peter 2:10-14 ESV).
There are an estimated 42 million people in the United States alone who have
horrific stories of adults repeatedly molesting them when they were young
children. Abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum, it happens in our churches and
homes. And it’s happening a lot.

In order to be effective at what we do, we have to know exactly how predators

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think, plan, and manipulate everyone around them. Because victims are
young, are threatened if they tell, and have no vocabulary to describe what
has been done to them, very few ever tell anyone. Gathering enough
information to even make a report to police is incredibly difficult to accomplish.
Most investigators, in our experience, shrug off reports of abuse even though
most states mandate that church leaders report reasonable suspicion of abuse.
It’s not that investigators don’t care, it’s that they are overworked. Sadly,
investigators wear out from uncooperative reporters who give the bare
minimum amount of information.

We work hard to help churches gather enough information to make a solid

report but we work even harder to keep children safe from abusers. We can’t
rely exclusively on the justice system. People often say that we need tougher
laws to help the abuse epidemic. My response is that child sexual abuse is a
felony in all 50 states. We can’t make it any more illegal to abuse a child. We
don’t need more laws, we need more trained protectors. In the end, it takes all
of us working together to keep our children safe.

I routinely enter into the “underworld” of the church–the place where

predators reside, think, plan, and molest children. We call this our “special ops”
ministry because few have the stomach for it. The conventional wisdom has
been to teach churches to look for “signs of abuse.” We flip that completely on
its head and teach churches not to look for abusers, but to look at ourselves
through the eyes of a child predator. When we are able to do so, the wolves no
longer look like sheep. Their cover has been blown and we can prevent abuse
before it ever happens.

I recently developed a powerful 30-60 minute walk-through tool that I use

when I train church staff and parents. The purpose is to get into role and
demonstrate how predators are looking for opportunity to abuse children and
what specific methods they use when they are abusing children in the
churches. I will walk through the building and identify the most vulnerable
areas and follow up with a report detailing how the church can improve those
areas. I’ve visited churches that have incredible protection policies and I still,
without exception, identify lots of vulnerable areas. The reason is that people
underestimate how bold, willful, and persistent abusers are. Most people don’t
believe that abusers are molesting children in the church building during
worship (especially if we implement policies) and they falsely believe that we
would be able to recognize abuse if it were going on. But our experience is that
abusers intentionally abuse children during church services, they do it often,
and unless we think like perpetrators we will almost never recognize abuse. We
are shifting the culture in this area and our mission is simple–prevent abuse
before it happens and put people in prison who have already abused children.

Children should not have to live in perpetual fear because of being repeatedly
molested, threatened, and made to believe they are worthless. The irony is
that abusers are most fearless once they’ve entered into the life of the church.
It is, hands down, the safest place for abusers to molest children. We believe
it’s time to turn the tables and have child rapists lose sleep because of the real
threat of being caught. We are committed to work tirelessly to convince
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churches to lead the way in showing the world that children are the planet’s
most precious resource. Children deserve to have a community of adults who
love, respect, and protect them. Let’s be that community for them.

2016

http://wineskins.org/2016/12/14/fighting-pedophilia-in-the-church-a-special-
ops-
ministry/?fb_action_ids=10155693627778902&fb_action_types=news.publishe
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%5D

Handout for prison inmate

Church Protect, Inc.

Facebook, 19.7.2016

This is a handout I gave to inmates who will soon be released into the
community. Thousands of sex offenders are released from prison each year.
93% of pedophiles identify as religious. Most incarcerated sex offenders who
are released will find a church home. Most of these will not disclose to anyone
at their church that they are registered sex offenders. Inmates who get
released on parole and have the strictest restrictions are not monitored well.
It's impossible for state workers to monitor the behavior of inmates 24/7 once
they are released. We must be the ones who hold them accountable and
ensure that they are not gaining access to our children. We must work
together to keep our kids safe. It takes a community to maintain our children's
innocence! I pray this will give you some helpful insight.

Bring it to your church leaders. Ask them if there are any sex offenders
currently attending worship. If so, ask them why it was not disclosed to the
congregation. Ask to see your church's protection policy. If they do not have
one, demand they develop and implement one. Ask them to have us conduct a
training seminar. Let's work together to keep our children safe!

Robin A. Greiner Do you believe these rules apply to only pedophiles or to all
sex offenders, regardless of the age of the victim?

Church Protect, Inc. Not pedophiles per se (I would include ephebophiles and
hebephiles), but it doesn't apply to all sex offenders. Unfortunately, the "young
and dumb" also have to register as sex offenders, though they have no interest
whatsoever in children. The ages vary quite a bit from state to state, but in
some states a 19 year old can go to prison if his or her 17 year old
girlfriend/boyfriend's parents press charges. When I spoke to the prisoners I
did make distinctions between pedophiles and the guys who are registered
because they had girlfriends a couple/few years younger. This is why it's so
important for church leaders to look into the charges of a sex offender and
make zero assumptions until they have read the charges.

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Nicole Tera What if it's somebody who has been into illegal stuff on the
Internet but never touched a child? Also what happens if they have children
later?

Church Protect, Inc. You raise a very good question. There are several good
studies that demonstrate it's highly unlikely that someone who is viewing child
porn does not also have hands on victims. There is a host of reasons for this
(perhaps I'll unpack it in a blog post soon) but there's enough evidence to
assume that someone who is viewing child porn likely has hands on victims.
Even in the unlikely case that they have never touched a child, we've got to
identify what they are viewing. Knowing what we know about pedophiles, I
believe it's a huge mistake for someone who has exploited children sexually to
get married and have children of their own. It's akin to saying it's a blessing
for a raging alcoholic to purchase and own a bar.

Church Protect, Inc. Didn't mean to post this already--The porn they are
looking at is gruesome. I've read countless descriptions by pedophiles
themselves. Most of the videos they watch are of fathers abusing their own
children in a makeshift "studio" in their homes. I've also spoken with
detectives. The children are clearly in distress and it is blatantly obvious they
are being harmed in the video. These are real children being raped on camera
by their real parents. There is no gray area, and the people viewing it know it.
Most people don't know this, but people viewing child porn are almost always
distributing it, too. Videos and pictures of children are released in numbered
(or named) series. It is progressive to hook other viewers, so the first set of
pics/videos contain scantily clad kids. The author of the videos (who is the
abuser of the child) will only release the next series when he receives videos
from the person/people he is sharing with. They are very specific in what they
are asking for. Because child porn is so illegal and the stakes so high if caught,
the child porn underworld is incredibly sophisticated and dark. People do not
just "browse" for child porn. They work very hard to get it, find it, and trade it.
The public needs to know because most of us assume they are just casually
viewing child porn. It just doesn't work that way. So for someone who is into
that deep, dark, and secretive underworld of torture and sexual exploitation of
very young children (as young as infants), they'd be hard pressed to convince
me that they are responsible enough to have their own children.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AbfvtGxNm2M8z-
WCZo9sMwwvjfba7gG09qbLacma7wo/edit?pref=2&pli=1

Healing together in community

By Jimmy Hinton, Church Protect co-founder and CEO

In Genesis 1:2 we find the Spirit hovering over the waters. In 1:26 he says,
“Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” Before there was time or
matter, God was in community. He designed man in their image, to live in
community. The best healing for just about anything, whether addictions,

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abusive relationships, depression, etc. is healthy community. One of the best
studies, in my opinion, is Bruce Alexander’s “Rat Park Experiment” from the
late 1970s. It showed that it was the lack of community—not drugs—that
caused the animals to crave morphine-laced water. And the rats who were
physically addicted to morphine actually chose regular water over the
morphine water when they were integrated back into the fun Rat Park, even
though they suffered physical withdrawal symptoms. Alexander’s work with
human heroin addicts has shown that this is the case for people, too.

The fact that we have so many survivors of child sexual abuse among us
means that we, as a community of God’s children, must create a safe
community where healing can take place. And healing doesn’t necessarily have
to be done in the context of a therapist’s office. We church leaders often make
the fatal mistake of thinking that’s the only option for broken people to find
healing. But what if the church functioned the way it was designed to—to be a
place of support, encouragement, and prayer where we care for the wounded?
When Jesus’ disciples were questioned about his interaction with “sinners and
tax collectors,” Jesus offered a classic answer: “It is not those who are well
who need a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means:
‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but
sinners” (Matthew 9:12-13). It’s no coincidence that a few paragraphs later
Matthew records Jesus praying for more laborers.

We cannot expect people to get well if we are not providing deeply meaningful
community for broken people. And we’re not talking about depressing groups
where all people talk about are how bad their problems are. Healing should
come in the form of encouragement, support, and—dare we say—fun! It’s a
shame when Bruce Alexander builds a Rat Park for rats to enjoy each others’
company and the results are astounding but many Christians have not caught
on that God designed us in his image to thrive within the context of healthy
community! We should be encouraged by this because the answer is right in
front of us! All we have to do is believe it and live it. Let’s foster an attitude
and culture of healing within the Body of Christ!

Q & A About Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse

Q—How do we as a church or individuals take measures to keep our

children safe without becoming paranoid?

A—Paranoia is rooted in the absence of information and is counterproductive to

keeping anyone safe. To my knowledge, after fire drills school children don’t
tremble in their seats and look out the window every 30 seconds wondering if
a fire is going to break out. Why? Because countless hours have been spent
studying fires in every possible scenario and, as a result, safety experts have
come up with excellent safety drills and they present information in a way that
makes sense. Because most people know so little about how sex offenders
operate and because so much misinformation is given about offenders, we
have a culture of fear and paranoia. We at Church Protect pride ourselves in
giving straightforward information to help people apply it in easy, practical

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ways so that we can easily keep our homes, churches, and workplaces safe.

Q—Is child sexual abuse really as rampant as people say or are the
numbers inflated?

A—There are an estimated 42 million survivors of child sexual abuse in the

United States alone. Conservative numbers say that anywhere from 1 in 4 girls
and 1 in 7-9 boys are sexually abused. I’m a stats junkie. As such, I like to
know that the stats are accurate because there’s nothing more annoying than
doctored numbers. However, experience has sadly told me that these numbers
may actually be a little bit lower than reality. In the last few years I’ve spoken
with hundreds and hundreds of survivors of child sexual abuse. We’ve
consulted with lots of churches that are are wading through cases of child
sexual abuse. There are survivors of child sexual abuse sitting in every church
pew. They are the silent sufferers. We’ve got to do a better job of protecting
the innocent, acknowledging evil, and healing the wounded.

Q—Our church is resistant to talking about child sex abuse and they do
not want us to have a training seminar. Are there ways we can work
around this and still protect our kids?

A—To be frank, churches that are resistant to conversations about abuse are
the congregations predators migrate to. There are simple steps people can
take to protect children, but my experience is that churches that are resistant
to talking about abuse won’t take those easy steps anyway. Parents, however,
have a lot of power to protect their children whether a church will help them in
that endeavor or not. The most basic thing parents can do is to establish clear
boundaries for their kids. Don’t allow your kids to sit in the laps of other adults
unless they are blood relatives (this is not to say that blood relatives can’t be
abusers, just that non-relatives have no business putting kids in their laps).
Don’t allow your children to be alone with other adults for any reason. There’s
just no reason for it. Don’t allow your children to spend the night in adults’
homes. As strange as it sounds, I routinely see parents happily sending their
kids to sleepovers—not with other children, but with adult men! If a man from
church is asking for kids to come over to his house for a “play date,” every
alarm should be ringing inside your head. The best rule of thumb is, don’t do
it.

Dear Survivors, Don't Lose Hope

By Alex Howlett, Church Protect director of survivors' support

Sexual abuse can leave a person feeling hopeless. Broken. Unable to heal. If
you feel that way, you’re not alone. But if you feel that way, I also have good
news for you.

Healing is possible. There is hope. And, you can feel whole once again.

Healing is a complex process that doesn’t happen all at once. While it would be

134
nice, you don’t just wake up one day and decide you’re going to “move on.”
Instead, once you make the decision to start taking positive steps towards
healing, you will have to uncover layer upon layer of pain and work through it
step by step. It'll be tough. You will discover new things about yourself as you
heal. You’ll have plenty of ups and downs and emotions that are all over the
place.

But, you don’t need to suffer every day. Sexual abuse is not a lifelong sentence
to pain. You can rebuild your life, experience happiness, and come out stronger
knowing you survived the unthinkable. Eventually you’ll reach a point where
your life feels balanced and you’re no longer stuck in a constant struggle.

Here are some positive steps you can take towards healing:

 Take care of your physical health: eat well, exercise, and get enough
sleep to reduce depression, stress, and feelings of sadness.
 Talk to a counselor. You could see a mental health professional or talk to
someone on a crisis hotline or at a women’s center.
 Try a daily relaxing activity like a walk, gentle yoga, or meditation.
 Find time to do activities you enjoy, such as classes, hobbies, or sports.
 Make time for friends, or join a group to meet new people.
 Join a support group. There are many in-person and online support
groups for sexual abuse survivors. You can join Church Protect’s free
online support forum here.

Believe in yourself, be kind to yourself, allow yourself to break down barriers

you’ve built up, and healing will begin.

If you’re a survivor looking to connect with like-minded individuals, please join

our free online support forum for encouragement. We also have many valuable
resources for survivors listed on our website.

______________________

Do you know a survivor in need of support?

Our online support forum is a safe and private place where survivors of sexual
abuse can go to share their successes and struggles throughout their healing
journeys. They can post questions or new threads about anything related to
healing and life as a survivor. This online support community is free to use,
confidential, and available to anyone around the world.

If you know a survivor of sexual abuse, please share this message with him or
her. If you're a survivor who is in need of encouragement or is willing to help
encourage other survivors, please join the forum. We also welcome spouses,
partners, parents and other family members of survivors to join the forum to
talk about how to provide loving support.

Visit our website to create a user profile and gain access to the forum
upon approval.
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Copyright © 2016 Church Protect, Inc., All rights reserved.

How abuse affects our mental health

By Alex Howlett, Director of Survivors' Support Services for Church Protect, Inc.

I was 18 when I experienced my first flashback. With only a few short seconds
of this memory, I couldn’t comprehend what it was. I convinced myself that it
was an accident or misunderstanding, not intentional abuse. At age 20, I finally
knew what it meant.

When I was 20 years old, I saw my abuser interacting with a group of young
children in a way that caused rage and panic to boil up inside me. That’s when
I made the connection: he was abusing these girls now, just like he abused me
when I was a little girl. I didn’t witness any actual abuse at that time, but my
gut instinct told me it was happening. I spoke up, and I was right.

A few months later, the man who abused me was sentenced to prison due to
evidence of abuse against many young victims.

Now that he was locked away, I could finally start healing, right? Not so much.
Things got increasingly worse before they got better. I started having more and
more flashbacks along with nightmares about being abused. There were so
many triggers throughout what used to be a normal day that now made me
feel like I was being abused all over again.

I couldn’t stand to be touched, because it would cause flashbacks, bring on

anxiety or make me feel lost, like I was not in the present room. I learned that
what I experienced is called dissociation.

Dissociation causes many sexually abused children to forget about the abuse at
the time that it happens. It’s the brain’s own survival mechanism. It’s too
difficult for a traumatized child to process the split thoughts of loving the
abuser, if he or she is a family member or caregiver, and hating the abuser.
That “split” can be buried as a repressed memory that resurfaces many years
later. Sometimes, the dissociative parts of consciousness control the child’s
behavior, causing him or her to form alternate selves, which is known as
dissociative identity disorder.

When my memories of abuse resurfaced, I developed post traumatic stress

disorder, which is when certain sensory experiences connect the mind to the
original trauma. The PTSD made me relive the abuse over and over, have
nightmares, insomnia, severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I could no
longer enjoy the things I enjoyed in the past, and I was holding onto a lot of
anger. Every day was a struggle, and so many times I wanted to give up. I
didn’t want people to know I was experiencing all of this, so I tried to hide it by
staying busy.

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These symptoms lasted for about three years of my adult life. During those
years, there would be periods of maybe two to three weeks when I didn’t
experience a flashback, so I thought I was healed, but then they’d suddenly
start again.

About a year ago, I finally started to feel a little bit better. The flashbacks
began to stay away for much longer periods of time, and I got better at staying
present. The nightmares are rare now, and I no longer get angry over little
things.

But the emotional pain hasn’t completely gone away, and I don’t think it ever
will. There are still some days that I’m severely depressed and don’t want to
go anywhere or see anyone, but I feel so much stronger than I felt four years
ago.

I share these thoughts to help people understand that dissociation and

flashbacks are real and that the psychological effects of childhood sexual abuse
are very serious. My hope is that you’ll join Church Protect in our fight to
protect children from abuse and help those who have already been abused to
get the treatment they need.

I also share these thoughts to encourage any fellow survivors who might be
reading this to know that you are not alone. Please feel free to connect with
me through our survivors’ support group if you need a safe, confidential place
to talk about your experiences.

How You (yes, you!) Can Stop Abuse

June 21, 2016 Jon_Jimmy

The number of children who are abused is breathtaking. Abuse, unfortunately,

comes in many forms. But rather than depress you with the reality of the
epidemic of abuse, I’d rather encourage you by talking about viable solutions.
Quite frankly, our time on this planet is limited. We need to call people to
action and do it now. It’s one thing to say, “My, how horrible.” It’s quite
another to say, “Alright, how do we step up and stop it?” We can make the
solution as complicated or as simple as we’d like. Personally, I like the concept
of KISS (keep it simple, stupid!). So I offer five things you can start doing the
second you finish reading this article. The problem, in my opinion, is that we
often offer complex or inadequate training, overburden people with facts, and
give them “performance anxiety.” People with too much information often are
too intimidated and don’t know which of the 5,000 pieces of information is the
“right” one to use.

Even though I’ve boiled this solution down to 5 steps, it’s not as if you can
memorize this list and you’re good to go. Like anything else, you’ve got to
practice, practice, practice. Really, you’ve got to turn these 5 steps into an
extension of yourself so that it becomes as natural to you as hopping on a bike
and riding. At first you will be wobbly, second guess yourself, and wonder if
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you’re doing it right. But after a couple weeks you’ll find yourself becoming
increasingly confident in your ability to help innocent children stay safe. These
steps are in progressive order, with each one building on the previous step.
Enough rambling, I’ll just get to the point:

#1 Assess your surroundings–You have got to learn to assess your

surroundings all of the time. I lived with a pedophile for decades and literally
didn’t have a clue. This gives me some degree of authority on this issue. I
know what it’s like to take a close relationship for granted and to not properly
assess every situation. Most pedophiles (over 90%) are known well by their
victims. That means they are abusing their own family members or their
friends’ kids. Because pedophiles are either related to us or are close personal
friends, we can’t bank on the “creep factor” to tip us off. Trust me on this one.
The “creep factor” is very subjective anyway. Think about it. We are creeped
out by people we don’t like, not people who are our good friends. We must
assess and monitor our surroundings. I’ll talk about asking the right questions
later, but the best way to assess is simply to observe with fresh eyes.

I am now in the habit of being incredibly vigilant everywhere I go. You police
officers or military folk know exactly what I’m talking about. Once you know
what evil people are capable of and what tactics they use, you constantly
watch and listen for subtle threats. My eyes are always moving and my ears
are always listening. I recently was at a doctor’s office and saw two sisters with
their dad. His mannerisms seemed off to me. It’s hard to explain, but his
stance was too familiar with his girls. I watched from a distance and noticed
that the sisters looked very uncomfortable around him and every time he
touched them, they would shrug it off and look at each other behind his back.
When the one girl turned to the side, she had tears streaming down her face.
All of these signs could be nothing, but they also could be something. After
they left, I told the receptionist that the girls seemed very uncomfortable
around their dad and I asked that she speak to the physician who had just
seen the girls. Perhaps the doctor saw something too. Maybe she didn’t. But
when we see something that’s not right, we need to speak up and say
something. Remaining silent is what perpetuates abuse. Abusers are counting
on people not talking.

#2 Make It Your Business–We are brainwashed into thinking that nothing is

our business (though a small number of people falsely believe that everything
is their business). I often tell my congregation that what goes on in the privacy
of my home is their business. If I’m slapping my wife and kids around, it’s the
church’s business. If I’m being verbally abusive, it’s the church’s business. If
we see or hear something that is out of line, we must make it our business.
Research the bystander effect. It is a very real phenomenon where people can
literally walk over or around a corpse lying in the street, or a rape victim, or
witness a child abduction and do nothing to stop it. There are a number of
psychological principles at play, but basically we subconsciously are passive
because we’ve bought the lie that anything that goes on near us is not our
business. So we see the world through a different lens and fail to properly
assess real threats.

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The video below shows people who do properly assess the situation as
threatening and make it their business to intervene. While it’s always good to
see people overcome the bystander effect, what’s troubling to me is how long
it took people to move from assessment to intervention. If you are extra
attentive, notice how conflicted they are to intervene even when the girl is
blatantly being coerced to leave with the man. You can see the inner conflicting
voices saying, “Should I do something or just let it go?” I assure you that when
we practice assessing and making bad things our business, we will be much
quicker at intervening! It should not take this long for people to intervene.

#3 Ask the right questions–It’s one thing to ask questions. It’s quite
another to ask the right questions. Until we get in the habit of assessing
situations and make things our business, we will fail every time at asking the
right questions. It’s amazing how pedophiles can blatantly post on social media
pictures of themselves with kids sitting in their laps or lying in bed together
and nobody asks questions. In fact, I read comments of people praising grown
men who brag about all the hugs and kisses they get from small children, or
how wonderful their sleepover was that they hosted. I see men inviting young
children over to their homes for sleepovers and not one person is asking him
why! This is not a judgment on others. We didn’t question my dad when he did
these things. We didn’t question why he wanted to be a “manny” (male
nanny). We didn’t question why he invited children over for sleepovers. We
didn’t question why he would drive 2 hours to take a young child to a doctor’s
appointment. The reason? We didn’t properly assess his actions and we didn’t
feel like it was our business to question him. It sounds strange, but I see it
play out time after time with other people now. I don’t recommend asking
questions that assume anything. For example, you shouldn’t ask, “Are you
attracted to kids?” Rather, ask questions about things that you actually
witness. If someone exhibits inappropriate behavior, call them out on it. Don’t
be afraid to ask.

When we see something that seems strange to us, we need to ask very
pointed questions. For example, “Mr. Smith, why do you keep inviting young
children into your home to have unsupervised sleepovers?” “Why are you
posting pictures of kids not your own sitting in your lap? Isn’t that incredibly
inappropriate?” “Why do you make highly inappropriate comments about little
girls starting to ‘bud’?” “Why do you insist on spending alone time with those
kids?” “Don’t you think it’s wrong to post pictures of other people’s kids and
you lying in bed?” “Why are you texting with a minor?” “Why are you
commenting on a minor’s pictures about how sexy they look?”

#4 Invite others into the conversation–We’re very afraid of being labeled a

gossip, so we default back to, “It’s none of my business.” Gossip is when we
make things up about a person and spread those lies to others. One thing I
recommend is to ask other parents and children how a certain person makes
them feel. Never assume that people don’t have concerns about someone just
because they don’t voice the concerns. I wish we would have invited others
into a conversation about my dad years ago. It turns out, most people who
knew my dad had major concerns about his behavior with children. But not
one person ever spoke up about it. Asking the right questions is not only a
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powerful tool aimed at a potential child abuser, it’s a powerful tool to use with
other people. We need to ask the right questions of people within our social
circles.

For example, we could ask other parents, “Do you believe Mr. Smith is crossing
physical boundaries with kids?” “Does he make you uneasy?” “What specifically
makes you feel uneasy?” “Has he ever made inappropriate comments about
children to you?” “Does he seem aggressive in getting children alone?”

And we may ask children, “Does Mr. Smith make you feel uncomfortable?”
“Has he ever told you to keep a secret?” “Has he ever done anything to make
you feel ashamed?”

#5 Stop letting others control your feelings–Most of us constantly worry

about what others think of us. Believe it or not, many people are discouraged
to report abuse or intervene by family, co-workers, even spouses. We revert
back to our default mechanism that tells us, “It’s not our business.” People
often feel like they are going to take an already sensitive situation and make it
worse if they intervene. Many people who are “in the moment” lose the ability
to empathize with a victim, so our brain does all kinds of strange games like
rationalizing the abuse. We think, “Maybe I didn’t really see what I just saw,”
or “It was probably just this one time–a fluke.” Believe me, when I found out
my dad had sexually abused a child I was terrified at what others would think
when I reported him to police. I had a million reasons why I shouldn’t turn him
in, but I had one good reason why I should. In cases like this, we can’t weigh
options. We simply have to do what is right, even when there are
condescending voices telling us not to.

If we practice these 5 steps, we can make a huge impact on innocent lives

around us. We need to actively intervene when something’s not right. It’s a
mistake to wait until something bad has already happened. We can and we
should do better than that.

I Hate “Buts”: How Defeatism Is Ruining Our Chidren’s Lives

May 11, 2016 Jon_Jimmy

Defeatism—A way of thinking in which a person expects to lose or fail.

My wife and I get really annoyed when our kids use the “B” word. It’s not nice
to talk about buts. Imagine in the whiniest kid voice you can think of, “Uuuuh,
but I can’t. . . .” Defeatism. But. I. Can’t. Three of the most powerful words
in the English language. Is it any wonder there are many people who would
rather go through the welfare system than to work a job? And before you go all
“Jimmy is self-righteous” on me, hear me out. I’ve personally encountered
dozens of people in our small town who have called our church for assistance
and have flat-out told me that there’s no incentive to get a job when they are
well taken care of by government assistance and churches. It’s not a judgment
upon them, it’s just an observation. Defeatism–“Why work 40+ hours a week
at a dead-end job when I can make more by staying home with my kids? I’ll

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never go anywhere in my career anyway.” These are the things we hear
regularly from people who call on the church to help.

We happen to live in a county where heroin addiction is rampant. I’ve spoken

with several friends who are addicted and they all say the same thing–“But I
can’t quit.” Defeatism. It’s sad to see people who feel they have no hope of
ever quitting. They’ve resigned themselves to the notion that the only option in
front of them is to jam a needle into their arm until one day they are dead.
And die they do. We have people losing their lives in large numbers, leaving
behind helpless children. It’s sad. All of it is so sad. Yet there are plenty of
addicts who have successfully overcome addictions. I know it because I’m
friends with them. Conversely, they all have one thing in common–they not
only believed that they could overcome the addiction, they were determined to
do so! It was always at a great cost, but they did not resign themselves to
defeat. They couldn’t, if they truly wanted to get well. We spend $600 billion1
a year in the US battling drug addictions. Our best scientific research on
addiction says, “The chronic nature of the disease means that relapsing to drug
abuse is not only possible but also likely.”2 Either this is a poor attempt at
reverse psychology or our research has bought the spirit of defeatism hook-
line-and-sinker. I’ve run this sentence through my head a hundred different
ways. Imagine my wife and I telling our now 6 year old, “There’s an early
childhood literacy gap and illiteracy among youth is an epidemic. Your inability
to learn how to read is not only possible but is also likely.” How well do you
think she would learn to read? I have a guess, and I’m probably right.

And the spirit of defeatism is being taught in just about every area, and from a
super young age. Our anti-bullying agenda teaches kids that the only option
they have is to remain passive and tell an adult after they’ve been violated.
Defeatism. Our elementary schools here just had a presentation on “good
touch, bad touch.” I asked my daughter about it and, specifically, what she was
taught to do if someone actually persisted in touching her privates. “We were
told to tell an adult.” “But what if the person insists on touching your privates,
what did they tell you do do?,” I asked. “They just told us to say no.” I
asked her if it was OK to kick, spit, scream, punch, pull hair, etc. if someone
didn’t heed the “No” command. “Oh no, we’re taught it’s never OK to hit. We’re
just supposed to tell an adult if it happens.” Defeatism. We literally teach our
kids that the only option is to play possum, allow an abuser to molest them,
then tell an adult after the fact–something that is nearly impossible for a child
to do who has just had his or her life threatened by the abuser. This is
unacceptable. We’ve got to do better at teaching our kids that they are not
doomed to be groomed. We need to teach them that, when they are isolated
and about to be abused, it’s OK to fight back. It’s OK to stand up for other kids
who are getting beat on the playground and intervene. It’s OK to believe that
they can actually overcome addictions. It’s OK to struggle with a job to support
your family. It’s not a “dead-end” job, it’s a job.

We’ve got to shift the language away from the “buts” and start telling our
children that they can! Perhaps Eric Church is right–we can learn a lot from 3
year olds!

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“Three Year Old”

Use every crayon color that you’ve got

A fishing pole sinks faster than a tackle box
Nothing turns a day around like licking a mixing bowl
I learned that from a three year old

A garbage can is a damn good spot to hide truck keys

Why go inside when you can go behind a tree?
Walking barefoot through the mud will knock the rust right off your soul
I learned that from a three year old

You can be a cowboy on the moon

Dig to China with a spoon
Talk to Jesus on the phone
Say “I love you” all day long
And when you’re wrong, you should just say so
I learned that from a three year old

“Mama is an angel, ” I heard him tell the man upstairs

He went on and on and back and forth like God was laying there
Tonight, I sleep me down to lay and pray to keep my soul
Yeah, I learned that from a three year old

You can be a cowboy on the moon

Dig to China with a spoon
Talk to Jesus on the phone
Say “I love you” all day long
And when you’re wrong, you should just say so
I learned that from a three year old

Sometimes, all you need is a hand to hold

A couple arms to kill the cold
And when you’re wrong, you should just say so
I learned that from a three year old
Yeah, honey, I learned that from our three year old

I Want to Believe

By JIMMY HINTON, Church Protect CEO and co-founder

“I want to believe.” This is a saying I began hearing over and over again when
I would speak at churches who were plagued either by allegations of abuse or
who have convicted sex offenders in their pews. “I want to believe that he is
remorseful.” “I want to believe that this is all just a misunderstanding.” “I want
to believe that he won’t ever abuse a child again.”

Now that I am attuned to it, I can guarantee that I’ll hear it. Every time. Our
“wanting to believe” that abusers no longer are capable of abuse unfortunately
trumps truth and logic. We cannot see that which we refuse to see. Because
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we want to believe that abusers just “slipped up,” we do not see them for who
they are—deceitful manipulators who continually lie to everyone in order to
steal the innocence of children.

Lest we are tempted to become sympathetic to the abuser, we are not talking
about some mutual love fantasy fulfilled. Let me be clear—abusers derive
pleasure from dominating and inflicting harm upon children. I read an article
yesterday about a local EMT employee named Andrew Demeri who sexually
assaulted a 7 and 8 year old girl and boy for the past four years. The following
line jumped off the page at me: “In one case, the abuse caused the girl to
vomit and she told police he was her worst nightmare.” When an abuser makes
a 7 year old child vomit and continues to rape her, he didn’t just “fall into sin.”
He is evil, twisted, and morally bankrupt. These stories are routine for us, but
so are the stories of churches embracing these monsters because they “want
to believe the abuse wasn’t that bad.”

Here’s the irony—abusers know what we want to believe about them and
exploit it. Consider the following quotes from a series of interviews Dr. Anna
Salter did with different inmates convicted of sex crimes against children:
“I consider people that go to church gullible because they have a trust that
comes from being Christians... They seem to want to believe in the good that
exists in all people... Because of that, it was easy for me to convince
them... Because of that, you can convince them with or without convincing
words.”—Deacon/Minister with 53 victims

“I think people are very easy to fool.”

“Why do you think they’re so easy to fool?”

“Because they want to believe in something. They want to hope and they want
to believe. There’s something inside of people that makes them want to believe
the best in things and the best in others because the alternative is not very
nice..."

“Did you find people easy or hard to fool?”

“It depends on whether they care or not. People, in general, they’re going to
think what they want to think, and that’s basically all there is to it... If you can
stare someone in the eye and lie they’re gonna say, ‘He didn’t even blink or
look away. He’s pretty straight here.’ The more nervous you can make the
victim the more it looks like they’re the ones lying. Just a simple look to the
child is traumatizing.” —Sexually violent predator twice incarcerated for sex
crimes against very young children

Yet as I type this, Christians who personally know an abuser in their church are
thinking, “Yes, but I want to believe that the person I know truly is repentant.
After all, he’s so nice!” This is not something we can afford to get wrong. The
reality is that abusers who insist on being near children are not repentant, no
matter how nice they are. And abused children need us to protect them. We

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will be offering a series of free webinars that address some of these very
important topics. We pray that churches will join in these discussions. Don’t
just assume abusers are benign. Find out how you can equip leaders to guard
your congregations better. Find out what specifically to look for in abusers.
Find out how to better minister to survivors of abuse.

1 Peter 5:8-9 “Be sober-minded: be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls
around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him firm, firm in
your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by
your brotherhood throughout the world.”

EMT charged by Allegheny County police with sex offenses against children

http://www.wpxi.com/news/emt-charged-by-allegheny-county-police-with-sex-
offenses-against-children/448371983

http://us11.campaign-
archive2.com/?u=d2d31931d1a79ceb1f09cd990&id=4ca164c528&e

Letter from the CEO: Welcome to the Church Protect Newsletter

By Jimmy Hinton

In July 2011, I heard some news that would change the course of my life
forever. I learned that my father, a former minister where I currently preach,
had sexually molested young children. This was not what I had signed up for.
There was no training on how to handle this kind of spiritual Katrina. None.

Yet there I was, trying to figure it all out, not having a clue what to do. A
couple days and many tears later, I was in our local police station issuing a
statement about what I had discovered. It still doesn’t seem real. The man
who was my father and spiritual mentor would confess to over 20 victims,
ranging in ages from 3-11. My father is currently serving a life sentence in
state prison. He will die in prison, and somehow I am still coming to terms with
my role in putting him there.

Literally within a matter of hours, I went from minister to mandated reporter.

And the person I was mandated to report was my own flesh and blood. I’d
quickly find out that there is no manual for church leaders to walk through the
ensuing devastation.

How and when would I tell my family members? What on earth was I going to
say? When would I tell my congregation? How would I tell them that the
preacher they loved and admired for 30 years was a child predator and would
likely be shipped off to prison? How would I handle the scars of hearing from
victims who told me their stories of what my father had done to them when
they were young children—some of who were not even old enough to tie their
own shoes when he sexually assaulted them? How was I supposed to get up
and preach with my feet planted in the same exact spot my father stood for so

144
many years? What was I supposed to preach, and how was I supposed to lead
a congregation when I didn’t even have the strength to get out of bed?

As my dad casually rattled off names to me of the souls he had caused

immeasurable pain to, I was overwhelmed with a burden to help them find
healing. But how? I’d never heard even a whisper about abuse before, and I
certainly had no training on helping people work through severe childhood
trauma.

It didn’t take long to find out that child sexual abuse is so common that the
number of survivors of child sex abuse in the United States (42 million) far
outnumbers the drug epidemic (23.5 million) and the cancer crisis (14.5
million). Combine this with the fact that over 90% of pedophiles identify
themselves as religious.

The news gets worse. Churches, I would find, are abusers’ #1 target zone
because we’ve created the perfect place for them to safely abuse. I’ve spoken
to a large number of churches across the nation, and every single audience has
numerous survivors who share their stories with me after I speak.

Churches have created the perfect storm, because we are desperate for
volunteers, we give most people the benefit of doubt, we don’t talk about
abuse, and we have little to no training in the field of sexual abuse. Many
churches live in a state of perpetual denial, drastically increasing the likelihood
of abusers making church their permanent dwelling place. There are almost no
days that go by where we don’t receive requests from churches to help them
with situations of child abuse. We have helped churches that have as many as
three known abusers in their congregation at one time.

And so, Church Protect, Inc. became a natural ministry that flowed from the
ash heap my family is still sitting on. I became obsessed with finding out how
we all missed it—how a large family of college, graduate school, and medical
school graduates never had a clue that their father was a serial child abuser.
And we are not unique. Pedophilia is, by most standards, virtually impossible
to detect. Dr. Gene Abel, a psychiatrist with a national and international
reputation for diagnosing and treating sexual problems, estimates that
pedophiles have less than a 3% chance of getting caught each time they
sexually assault a child. In my father’s case, he operated at 0% chance of
getting caught for hundreds of incidents over the span of almost 50 years. In
other words, he had a 100% success rate each and every time he abused
children. This, sadly, is the norm with child sexual abusers.

Through a series of divine events, I met a therapist who also had a strong
seminary background, had over 20 years of experience working with victims of
child sexual abuse, and over 10 years counseling sex offenders. It became
evident that Jon Uhler and I would be working together and that we would be
creating the best materials available to churches in this field. Never before had
I met someone who knows every perspective and implication of this type of
abuse. More importantly, I had never met someone who understands abuse

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and dramatic prevention from a theological perspective. And never before had
Mr. Uhler met a family member of a sex offender. He had counseled over 3,000
sex offenders and logged more than 9,000 hours but in his words, “This is all
theory for me. You are living it.”

All of the pieces to this puzzle were fitting together perfectly. To my surprise,
Jon was looking with great interest to me as the leading expert in this field. So
Church Protect began to take on a fresh personality and one that would cover
many vital perspectives which have never been explored in this field.

Church Protect is unique in many ways. To our knowledge, I am the only

researcher in the nation in this field who has lived under the same roof as a
pedophile, so the research is first-hand observational data. I recently
developed and regularly use the Church Protect Predator Recognition
Assessment© tool, complete with 20 indicators that identify high risk behavior.
It is designed specifically to equip others to more clearly identify high risk
individuals within their congregations. Once a high risk individual is identified,
churches have an option to consult with us and come up with a plan of action.

We recently developed the PROTECT© plan—a 7 principle common sense plan

for keeping children safe in our churches and homes. It is built on the back of
thousands of hours of research but, more importantly, it is combined with
years of real life experience.

Church Protect was created to drastically reduce the number of victims

produced through providing the best training available to churches. But we
believe that something needs to be done for the millions of survivors sitting in
our pews. In any congregation, large or small, there are a minimum of 25%-
40% of our congregants who have been sexually abused as children and are
suffering silently. There is a movement that has been sparked, and a Gideon’s
army is forming. Several churches have started ministries for survivors as a
direct result of the work we do! Others, like Ezekiel 33 Project, have ignited
and are calling people to repentance and to be the Watchmen of their families
and communities.

We are thrilled to be a part of a movement that is sweeping the nation and we

call you to join this movement. We can no longer stand by and pretend that
abuse is not going on in our churches. Let’s join together and spread the hope
that is only found in Jesus Christ!

http://us11.campaign-
archive2.com/?u=d2d31931d1a79ceb1f09cd990&id=a0572550af

Saying Lichtenegger court petition ‘replete with factual inaccuracies,’

Lenexa church defends volunteer policies

Posted by Jay Senter · June 9, 2016

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Jimmy Hinton, a Pennsylvania minister who started the organization Church
Protect last year to help congregations identify potential predators and who
had been in contact with the families of Lichtenegger’s victims, said Westside’s
response to the suit and criticisms of the plaintiffs are predictable. Hinton
reported his own father, also a minister, to investigators after hearing from a
woman who had been in his congregation that he had sexually abused her as a
child. He now leads the church from which is father was removed, and works
to help other churches identify pedophiles.

“I told [the family] to expect harsh push back,” Hinton said of the lawsuit.
“Nobody ever wants to admit they made a bad decision. Unfortunately, [letting
people who have sex crimes on their records interact with minors] is done
routinely. Vary rarely do churches separate a perpetrator from children
because they want to believe the person is reformed.”

Hinton said that churches are unfortunately easy targets for pedophiles and
sex abusers because they can take advantage of the trusting nature of the
congregants. Instead of denying that a church has a responsibility in these
situations, Hinton said, church leaders should be more forthcoming about the
deficiencies that can lead to abuse.

“This ‘How dare you accuse us of making mistakes’ response never ends well,”
Hinton said. “Churches should admit their areas of weakness. One thing that I
tell people is that if you hear murmurings going on that this or that person
could pose a potential threat, it’s the church leader’s job not to brush that off.
It’s their job to actually investigate. A lot of them say, that’s not our job.
Actually it is. Not necessarily your legal responsibly, but it’s your moral and
ethical responsibility.”

http://shawneemissionpost.com/2016/06/09/saying-lichtenegger-court-
petition-replete-with-factual-inaccuracies-lenexa-church-defends-volunteer-
policies-51326

Survivor's Story: Finding a Clear Path

By Cyndi Witosky

When I was a child, I didn't fully comprehend what really was happening to
me. Even now as an adult, I do not really comprehend what happened to me
back then. I mean, I know what happened to me… I was molested by three
different people—two were family members and one was a local police officer. I
understand what they did to me, but I will never understand why they did it to
me.

People have asked, “How could it have happened and you didn’t tell? How
could it have happened by a family member and a police officer?” I never really
had any answers until recently, after I began talking about it. It is true that
once you educate yourself about things you don’t understand, you will then
begin to understand them better.

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Without going into full detail, I was molested the longest by an uncle who lived
near me. My mother left us in our father’s care after she decided it’d be better
to abandon us to be with another man. My father was disabled and was raising
my two brothers and me. It was tough raising three kids alone, so he would
accept help whenever he could. Unfortunately, my uncle happened to be the
one who stepped up to the plate and was willing to “help.” He took advantage
of the fact that my dad needed time to himself, so he offered to take me on
tractor rides into the woods where he subsequently would molest me. I was
very young, so I didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong; he told me he
loved me and that sex was how people expressed love. Back in those days we
didn’t have anyone teaching children “bad touch, good touch.” It was pretty
taboo to even talk about sex or anything related to it.

The police officer was a friend of my father's. My father loved to hunt and fish,
so they had a lot in common. This man would fondle me under the kitchen
table while my father sat across the table from him. Believe it or not, it was
that easy to molest because pedophiles are master minds of deception! They
are also pathological liars! They will do whatever it takes to get to children.

I lived a pretty traumatic life. I was sexually abused, then I married an abusive
husband. My first born child was stillborn. I went through a stage in my life
where I drank excessively and was promiscuous. I felt unworthy to my
husband, myself, and to God. I never lost hope in God, though. I knew what I
was doing was not right, but at the time, I couldn’t resist doing it. I felt like it
was an escape from the horrible life I was living. I was in self-destruct mode
but fortunately, by the grace of God, He had a different path for me.

God has placed me in a church where my minister’s father is an imprisoned sex

offender. I didn’t know that five years ago when I started going to church
there, because he had not been caught yet.

Jimmy was the minister when we started going to church. My present husband
and I wanted him to marry us. Jimmy had a prior commitment, so we were
going to have his father (the former minister) John marry us. We actually
planned on him marrying us. About a month or so before our wedding, we
found out that John was arrested on charges of child molestation. All I can say
is WOW! We were in shock! Someone whom we trusted to stand and marry us
before God, our family, and friends was a convicted pedophile! How ironic that
God brought me to this church…

My minister Jimmy has now started Church Protect, Inc. in hopes of helping
everyone understand the minds of pedophiles and how to keep our children
safe. Pedophiles are everywhere and most likely are the people we would least
suspect. I speak out in hopes that other victims will see that it’s not their fault;
they were not asking for it. It’s not taboo anymore. It’s happening way too
much, and it hurts badly. It needs to be stopped. I lived with a lot of guilt for
things I have done, but God has shown me a different path—a loving, gracious,
and forgiving path. May His path be clear to you as well. You are worthy of His
love and healing.

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Survivor's Sentiments: Finding Hope Years Later

Name Protected

I am the daughter of a preacher and was molested as a child in the baptistery

dressing area. The church was our second home and we kids all played
throughout the church building in all the open rooms. The man who molested
me wandered in to an open door and waited until he found a kid he could
isolate and molest. He was never found.

I started working as a clerk in a juvenile court and, after hearing the horror
stories that happen every day, I began having flashbacks. So, 39 years after
my abuse, I entered therapy. I’m thankful that this issue is not being swept
under the rug.

Please feel free to share any part of my survival story. If it can help your cause
in any way, that’ll be a HUGE silver lining.

http://us11.campaign-
archive2.com/?u=d2d31931d1a79ceb1f09cd990&id=a0572550af

Why Child Pornographers Pose a Huge Risk to Your Kids

August 16, 2016 Jon_Jimmy

We hear it all the time. . . “It just happened.” But can this excuse be used for
people who were caught looking at child pornography? And more importantly,
what risk does a child pornographer pose to children? The penalties are very
stiff for people convicted of child porn. Sadly, for those of you who know
someone convicted of child porn, you’ve heard the pleas for help, the remorse
for what they’ve done, and you’ve likely bought the lie that they have never
touched a child. The reality is that people convicted of child porn pose a huge
risk to your kids and they should never have access to kids again. It’s a bold
statement, I know, but here are some common themes that all child
pornographers will tell you and how you can respond to the offender.

“It just happened.” No it didn’t. Child pornography is highly illegal. Highly.

Someone has to go through a very tedious process even to find child porn. It’s
not just “floating” out there on the internet. Someone who “stumbles” upon
child porn has very intentionally looked for it and they also have put extreme
measures in place to remain hidden from law enforcement. Saying that it just
happened is as convincing as the drug lord who claims the drugs just jumped
into his trunk. Don’t buy it. And don’t be afraid to call them on their lies.

“I never hurt anyone.” Yes you did. Actually, you hurt lots of people. Even if
the child pornographer didn’t produce the porn, somebody did. And those of us
who do not have dark, evil minds cannot fathom what child porn is. Our minds
don’t allow us to imagine just how bad it really is. Lest you begin to feel sorry
for the person convicted on child porn charges, let us define what child porn is.
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These are not images of clothed children hugging teddy bears. Child
pornography conatains gruesome images of naked, prepubescent children who
are forced to pose in sexually suggestive positions, forced to perform sex acts
with adults on camera, forced to masturbate or insert objects inside
themselves, perform on other children (often their siblings), and they are often
locked in dog cages. These children are real children who are placed against
their will in front of real cameras and are abused by real evil people. So yes,
you did hurt children. And child pornography is unlike mainstream adult
pornography. Because it is highly illegal, it is highly sought after. Therefore,
images and videos are intentionally shot in series, beginning with more soft
core images and moving to horrific ones. The pictures and videos are traded
like baseball cards and are traded or sold in series. Each picture or video of an
individual child in a series are numbered or given nicknames. The goal for the
receiver is to collect each image of a child they like in the entire series. The
goal for the sender is to sell each image in the series he or she has created. It
is a game to them. Have you ever noticed that when child pornographers are
caught in a sting operation, there are usually 30 or 40 who are arrested at
once? Now you know why. In 2001, 100 were arrested in a sting operation with
a company in Texas owned by a husband-wife team. Landslide Productions,
Inc. were distributing child pornography for a huge profit. They grossed $1.4
million just in one month. Yes, real children are hurt.

“I never touched a child.” Yes you did. Research demonstrates that people
who claim they only have fantasies of prepubescent children without hands-on
victims don’t exist. Others are not willing to go that far and will claim that child
pornographers who have no hands-on victims are extremely rare. Dr. Gene
Abel in The Stop Child Molestation Book mentions a study he did for a sub
group of pedophiles–those who have urges but have never acted upon them.
In a massive study with lots of funding in a city of 7 million people, he found
zero. There were several who claimed they never touched a child but when he
interviewed them, discovered they had all had hands-on victims. They were
abusers in denial. They all believed they didn’t have hands-on victims because
the children they abused were not victims, but “willing participants.” I’ve
mentioned before the Butner Study . It’s well worth a read for those who are
interested in this topic. Child pornographers will almost always maintain that
they never touched a child. Research demonstrates we should assume the
opposite. And let’s assume for a second that a child pornographer has not
touched a child sexually. They still went to incredible measures to find pictures
of people who did. If they worked this hard to gain images, you can guarantee
they are driven and committed to get what they want. If they have not
touched a child yet, they will. Remember Jared Fogle who people thought just
had images (which he traded, by the way, with his partner)? Turns out he had
a bunch of victims as well.

“My intentions were pure.” No they weren’t. There is nothing pure about
seeking out, viewing, purchasing, producing, or trading child pornography.
Nothing.

“I don’t have these urges anymore.” Yes you do. And you always will. I
know of no professionals who maintain that there is a cure for pedophilia. Can
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the urges be reduced with treatment? Yes. But they will never go away
completely, especially in older men and women.

It’s important that people convicted on child pornography charges be kept from
children. This may sound cruel, but it is more cruel to view, trade, produce,
and sell images of sexually exploited children. It’s evil to look at a child
through sexually graphic lenses. It’s irresponsible to place someone who does
near children. And it’s cruel to the person who sexualizes children to place
them near children.

http://www.churchprotect.org/why-child-pornographers-pose-a-huge-risk-to-
your-kids/

KAREN GULLO, Feds: 100 Arrested in Child Porn Bust,

http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=92686&page=1

Michael L. Bourke, Andres E. Hernandez, The ‘Butner Study’ Redux: A Report

of the Incidence of Hands-on Child Victimization by Child Pornography
Offenders,
http://www.olemiss.edu/depts/ncjrl/pdf/I%20C%20A%20C/2012%20-
%20October%2015-16/B%20-%20The%20'Butner%20Study'%20Redux.PDF

The “Furry Party Rapists”: Child Rape Is Never Accidental

February 1, 2017 Jon_Jimmy

Just this week news broke of five men who were arrested for creating a
pedophile ring with a young boy, now 14, who was repeatedly raped by them
while they dressed up in animal costumes. Here is a blurb from the article:

David Parker (PA Office of Attorney General) Beginning in 2009, Parker would
transport the boy to a house, where, as the victim described, men donned full-
body animal costumes. The boy, now 14, noted that Fenske’s fox costume
consisted of “full long sleeves and pants, a zipper in the back, paw gloves, and
a fox head with pointy ears,” the Associated Press reported. Fenske told others
to call him by the name “Lupine” while he was in the fox suit. The child,
meanwhile, was made to dress in a Tony the Tiger outfit.

The costumes were fitting for these animals. This boy was raped by them from
the time he was 2 or 3. I don’t even want to imagine what hellish nightmares
this boy will have for the rest of his life. The more we consult with churches
who have child rapists in their pews, the more we are fully convinced that the
level of depravity is so deeply rooted that they will never change. Ever. There
is a point of certain sexual deviance where there is no coming back. And make
no mistake–this plunge into wickedness does not happen accidentally. When
you read reports like this one about the pedophile ring, you realize how
calculated the plans were to traffic this boy across state lines, set up these
“parties,” invite other pedophiles, order the costumes, order a costume for the
boy, come up with aliases for the men in costumes, come up with the “games”
they would force this child to participate in, and pass the terrified boy around
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like he was a piece of meat. Keep in mind that it takes a tremendous amount
of collaboration and planning to cover this crime up and keep it quiet for as
long as they did.

Here’s the catch that we really want you to get–every child rapist we have
encountered in churches is just as deviant and committed to their cause as the
men in this story. Sure, they may not wear animal costumes, but the amount
of creativity and persistence they exercise is right in line with these animals.
We hear it all. Lego “parties,” body painting, eating cool whip off the child’s
body, drugging kids with alcohol, whipping “games,” locking kids in dog cages
with leashes, forcing siblings to perform sex acts on one another, and on it
goes. There literally is nothing surprising about this news story. The reason it
catches the public’s attention, though, is because (1) there were several
abusers and (2) they were wearing costumes. But mark my words, the level of
depravity is really no worse than the average pedophile we routinely deal with.
And here’s another catch–the vast majority of the abusers in the churches we
consult with are either pastors, youth pastors, elders, deacons, or Sunday
School teachers.

I will be writing a series of blog posts on how we can identify abusers in our
homes and churches, but before I launch that series, I really want our readers
to realize how routine stories like this really are. And, more importantly, we
want people to realize that pedophiles never abuse children by accident. We
cannot compare pedophilia to an addiction. People who are addicted to
substances will all say something similar–I kept taking the substance until the
urge took over and I felt like I was being controlled by the substance. The
reality is, all substances create physical dependency. Ask any addict who has
stopped about withdrawal. Now pedophiles will use the same language to
garner sympathy, but don’t fall for it. Fist, the children are not brain-altering
substances. They are children. They are innocent. They have souls. And, they
are terrified. Alcohol doesn’t sob and beg for mercy. It doesn’t quake with
fear when the lips approach the bottle. But children do quake with fear. And
the tears don’t stop these animals from raping children over and over and over
again. Furthermore, pedophilia is not like addiction because each time a child
is molested a real victim is produced. It is not a victimless crime. And finally,
Dr. Gene Abel estimates that a child molester has less than a 3% chance of
getting caught for each actual instance of hands-on abuse. What does this tell
us? Either pedophiles are the luckiest people on the planet or they are
incredibly skilled at covering their tacks. Trust me when I say that they rarely
make mistakes. Abuse is not accidental, else abusers would get caught at at
much higher rate.

I end with some words of the apostle Peter who dropped some truth on a
group of false teachers who were sexually exploiting groups of new female
converts: “Bold and willful, they do not tremble as they blaspheme the glorious
ones. . . But these, like irrational animals, creatures of instinct, born to be
caught and destroyed, blaspheming about matters of which they are ignorant,
will also be destroyed in their destruction, suffering wrong as the wage for
their wrongdoing. They count it pleasure to revel in the daytime. They are
blots and blemishes, reveling in their deceptions, while they feast with you.
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They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls.
They have hearts trained in greed. Accursed children!” (2 Peter 2:10-14). If
you read the text, Peter is just getting warmed up. And here’s the catch–he’s
not even talking about child rapists. These strong words are for guys who take
sexual advantage of “unsteady souls.”

http://www.churchprotect.org/the-furry-party-rapists-child-rape-is-never-
accidental/

Why Jesus was tougher than your church leaders

March 15, 2017 Jon_Jimmy

Before people lose their minds, let me explain–Jesus had very different
responses to different sins. If you divorce God’s love from his justice, Jesus
becomes a sheepish wuss who never guards his flock, and this is exactly what
the church has become. Jesus was anything but sheepish. In fact, he was a
fierce warrior when it came to matters of oppression, especially when it was
against children. Jesus began name calling the Pharisees and scribes in
Matthew 15 when they questioned his disciples about not ceremonially washing
their hands before eating. Jesus lectured them and called them hypocrites to
their faces. The disciples were concerned and quickly came to Jesus saying,
“Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?”
At this point we would expect Jesus to do the Christian thing and apologize. He
is, after all, the Lamb of God. Maybe he was too harsh when he called them
hypocrites. Maybe he should clarify and apologize in order to keep the peace.
Maybe he should hug his enemies. Nope! Jesus’ response is classic: “Every
plant that my heavenly father has not planted will be rooted up. Let them
alone; they are blind guides! And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a
pit.”

Let’s not forget when Jesus spoke in graphic terms about tying a donkey
millstone around the neck of someone who offended a child and drowning the
person in the depth of the sea. This suggests that the person’s neck would be
snapped as soon as the stone plunged into the water. So why drown someone
who is already dead before they even leave the boat? It’s a way to ensure the
person is double-dead. Jesus didn’t apologize here either. In fact, after giving
this gruesome picture, he says that this scene would be better for that person
than for him to have ever sinned against a child in the first place. Let’s not
forget about when Jesus became indignant when the disciples blocked the
children from coming to him. Or when the oppressive money changers met an
angry Jesus who was snapping whips at them and flipping their tables in the
Temple. Can you imagine how awkward that was for his disciples? Heck, it
would have been awkward for everyone. But Jesus never apologizes for any of
these, and John never apologizes for the ugly picture he paints of Jesus in
Revelation. I’ve heard plenty people quote Jesus when he tells us to turn the
other cheek but have never heard someone quote the Bible passage when
Jesus had the chance to practice what he preached after an officer literally
struck him on the cheek: “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the
wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?”
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Peter addresses false prophets who were sweet talking young converts into
bed. They intentionally targeted vulnerable women, likely ones who had been
in abusive relationships before–“For, speaking loud boasts of folly, they entice
by sensual passions of the flesh those who are barely escaping from those
who live in error” (2 Peter 2:18). Read all of 2 Peter chapter 2. Peter does
not say we should work extra hard to help these people out. He doesn’t say we
should love them into the church. He does not say that where sin increases
grace abounds even more. He does not say these women should forgive them
and “move on.” He does not say nobody has the right to question their past. In
fact, Peter goes on a rant that would make the church choir blush. He calls
them “accursed children,” “waterless springs,” “irrational animals, creatures of
instinct, born to be caught and destroyed, blaspheming about matters of which
they are ignorant” and Peter ensures they “will also be destroyed in their
destruction.” Should you think I entered in a series of typos, read 2 Peter 2 for
yourself. Peter doesn’t back down, he’s just getting warmed up! And here’s the
catch–he’s talking about sleazy prophets who find pleasure in enticing
vulnerable women for sex. He’s not even talking about those who derive
pleasure from raping children.

Yet here’s the problem we routinely encounter–Church leaders think it’s their
Christian duty to treat everyone the same and they think it’s inhumane to ask
a child predator to explain themselves and even to take a necessary hike. We
consult with churches where survivors are terrified and predators are excitedly
welcomed. We’ve lost count of the e-mails we receive where victims write us
saying, “We told the leaders what this man had done to us and they refuse to
even confront him.” It’s breathtaking how many stories we hear where victims
of abuse are told to forgive their abuser but those same leaders never ask a
thing of the abuser. Jesus became angry with certain people because he
understood that some people derive sick pleasure in oppression. We don’t have
to convince survivors what these monsters are capable of. Somehow they
survived to tell us about the wickedness perpetrated upon them. There is no
accidental abuse that happens when a child’s innocence is forever stolen from
them. It is intentional and the abuser derives pleasure from it. How do we
know? Because they keep doing it over and over and over and over again. We
know because in prison they still fantasize about abusing children. They
continue to lie, cheat, steal, and pretend in order to cozy up to our children.
We consult with so many churches where abusers continue demanding that
they be placed in leader positions overseeing. . . . children’s ministries! This is
hardly a response from someone who is repentant. And church leaders
welcome them into the fold “in the name of Jesus.”

We’re given platitudes: “Jesus wants us to hate the sin and love the sinner.”
Then pray tell why we are ignoring the sin and encouraging the deceiver. We
acknowledge that this is very problematic and we are working on a better
system of training where we empower survivors to be the ones trained to
monitor churches and take action. I will write more about this at a later time,
but we are excited for what God has in store for us. While we experience a lot
of frustration with the current climate, we only see hope. We will not stop
fighting for justice and we will never lay down our spiritual swords as long as
children are being abused!
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http://www.churchprotect.org/why-jesus-was-tougher-than-your-church-
leaders/

Why Child Rapists are Treated Far Better than Their Victims In the
Church

April 14, 2017 Jon_Jimmy

Recently, our friends over at GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian
Environment) shared a Facebook post asking, “What are reasons why sexual
assault survivors don’t feel safe sharing about their abuse to professing
Christians?” The responses are all things that we at Church Protect hear often
from survivors of abuse. Something about consulting with churches is that we
hear the same answers from church leaders too. The difference is that
survivors are hurt by these cliches and church leaders think they are helping
survivors by using them. I often think how ironic it is that sexual assault
survivors have survived their abuse only to be forced to survive churches. It’s
akin to someone showing up at a hospital with critical gunshot wounds only to
be shamed, lectured, told to forgive the shooter, or turned away by the trauma
doctor. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s exactly how spiritual wounds are
(mis)treated in many churches. Pastors are spiritual doctors, so why do so
many of them verbally assault the wounded and protect the ones who caused
the wounds? Here are some of the most common cliches abuse survivors hear
from church leaders and other Christians:

You need to forgive and move on

Forgive and forget.
A sin is a sin, so what your abuser did is no worse than any of your sins.
This is too ugly/inappropriate so please don’t discuss it again.
I understand exactly how you feel.
Why didn’t you scream if you didn’t want this to happen?
If you knew that sex was wrong, why didn’t you stop it?
What did you do/wear to “tempt” the perpetrator?

Because I’m a minister, I know many intricacies of church leadership and

routinely witness bad theology that breeds bad practices. We consult with
many churches and I will say that the majority of the churches we consult with
are sympathetic to the abuser and rarely mention victims of abuse. Here are
some of the most common questions we get asked by church leaders, in order
of frequency:

How do we keep the offender involved in the life of the church?

Please tell us that you believe they (the offenders) can repent.
He was really remorseful, don’t you think asking us to set these boundaries is
unfair?
How can we keep the offender here and still keep kids safe?
Do you think the offender was sexually abused as a child?
Isn’t it unfair to ask probing questions about his past?

In addition to the questions (some of them rhetorical) that we get, here are
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some of the most common statements church leaders give us about the
abusers:

He is one of my best friends.

He’s a good, good man and just got caught up in sin.
He did so much good and is well respected by the whole church and
community.
He has so many struggles in his own life.
We love this brother and want to restore him gently.

What’s become blatantly obvious to me is that churches are incredibly good at

telling survivors what they must do to “get right with God” and are even better
at defending offenders who they assume are already right with God. It’s
troubling that we go to such great lengths to ensure abusers remain active in
the life of the church while their victims are told to just move on. When we
place blame on victims of oppression while defending the oppressor, we fail to
hate the things God hates and love the things God loves. There is no excuse
for leaders who take the above approach. I am a full time minister. I also
happen to have turned my own father in when I learned that he had performed
sex acts against children. Rather than just get angry with church leaders,
though, I want to understand why they almost always defend a child rapist
over the very children who’ve been raped by them. If we understand why,
perhaps we can give them a more accurate view of God’s position. The very
foundation of God’s throne is righteousness and justice (Psalm 89:14). We
cannot understand God’s love unless we understand that God’s core foundation
is righteousness (doing what’s right and fair) and justice (doing what is
deserved). If we strip away God’s righteousness and justice, love becomes
twisted and it ceases to be love. A neighbor once told me her boyfriend was
cheating on her and beating her. She was crying and said, “He loves me.” I told
her that he, in fact, did not love her. When she asked how I was so certain I
said, “Because he’s cheating on you and beating you.” I submit to you that, by
very definition, love cannot protect a predator while ignoring or ridiculing the
wounded. So why are so many church leaders doing it? I offer some reasons
below:

1. Our theology doesn’t allow us to believe that this level of

wickedness exists, especially in the church–Most of the time when I’m
invited to speak places, I’m asked to ensure that I won’t say anything too
graphic or that will offend someone. Christians sanitize the Bible. God doesn’t.
Read Judges 19. It’s graphic. Very graphic. A kind woman was thrown out like
a piece of trash to be gang raped all night long. Literally. In the morning her
fingers were embedded in the threshold of the very house she was thrown
from because she was trying to claw her way back to safety as she was being
raped and beat. The abuse was so violent that at some point she died. As she
lay there lifeless, her master said these chilling words to her corpse, “Get up.”
She didn’t move because she was dead. Those of you who’ve been repeatedly
raped, molested, and humiliated from the time you were young children don’t
want people like me to use “nice” words because what happened to you was
not nice. Neither was the person who did those things. I hear the following
phrase almost every time a church leader is tiptoeing around telling me that
156
there is a predator in their church: “I don’t want to believe that he is capable
of this.” Frankly, I don’t want to believe that church leaders embrace, protect,
and harbor felons. But they do. I didn’t want to believe that my dad molested
dozens of children in horrible, humiliating ways. But he did. My not wanting to
believe it doesn’t make the abuse any less real. Some people we love and
respect are capable of secretly and intentionally inflicting harm on God’s most
innocent creatures for their own twisted pleasure. If we deny it, we’ll never be
able to hear the pleas of victims.

2. Church leaders prefer cardboard testimonies and oftentimes confuse

them with reality–Remember the wildly popular cardboard testimonies?
People are paraded across the church stage holding a cardboard sign that says
what they used to be then they turn it around and it says who they are now in
Christ. Soft music is played and, admittedly, like many of you I get teary eyed
watching them. As a minister, I sometimes get caught up in the western idea
that conversions are quick, easy, and lasting. But then I remember that life is
messy. My own life is a mess. Most of the people who attend my church are a
mess. We don’t have fairytale endings to our stories. It’s been almost 6 years
since I found out that my childhood hero is a serial pedophile. I still have days
where I don’t want to get out of bed. And I wasn’t sexually abused. Many
survivors are struggling every. Single. Day. Some battle depression. Some
have recurring nightmares. Some are medicated for severe anxiety. Some are
battling eating disorders. Many have thought of or attempted suicide. The sad
reality is that your story doesn’t fit nicely onto a piece of cardboard. For the
millions of you who are struggling every day, who wants to see the backside of
your cardboard? Your name won’t be selected to write a cardboard testimony.
What in the world would you write? Your ending just doesn’t fit. Ministers
aren’t comfortable with your story because a messy life to them indicates that
either somehow Christ hasn’t transformed you or you’re resistant to his grace.
This is a lie, of course, but it’s what they believe. This is why they tell you
things like, “Forgive and move on.” Or, “Just have more faith and God will heal
you.” What they really mean is, “Your story makes me uncomfortable and
makes Jesus look weak.”

And I’ll give you one guess as to who has the perfect cardboard testimony.
That’s right…the sex offender who spent time in prison and who now can waltz
into the church professing that he had a prison epiphany. Predators give church
leaders precisely what survivors can’t. There is no ongoing therapy. There are
no relapses with drug addiction. They don’t have to be told to “move on.” The
sex offender can be paraded before the church (and sometimes they are)–here
is someone who was once lost but is now found, which leads me to my next
point.

3. We no longer require evidence of repentance. . . unless you’re a

survivor–John the Baptist was clear. “Bear fruit in keeping with your
repentance.” All of us who claim to be repentant must bear fruit in keeping
with that repentance. What are the deeds that back our words? A repentant
alcoholic isn’t found at a bar. A repentant adulterer isn’t found alone in the
homes of other people’s spouses. A repentant swindler doesn’t become the
church treasurer. And a repentant child molester doesn’t suggest that it’s
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“unfair, unChristian, or unforgiving” to ask that he or she not be in the mixed
company of children. Yet time and time again we witness Christians caving to
the offender’s demands who claim that it is unChristian to keep them from
being near children. It’s as if God looks at adult-only worship as blasphemous.
Yet churches have adult-only Bible studies all the time. It’s only when we ask
child rapists to participate in adult-only Bible studies that suddenly we’re being
unfair.

So if churches continually cave to the demands of the offender, why do they do

the opposite to their victims? At the same time churches cave to the offenders’
demands, they heap their own demands on the shoulders of victims. You need
to forgive. Why don’t you move on? Don’t bring this up again.

I think we can do better. I think we must do better. There are 100 reasons why
child rapists are treated better than their victims, but it all boils down to bad
theology (protecting the oppressor while hurting the oppressed) and the bad
theology is exasperated by the charisma of the offenders. They are incredibly
convincing and are good at getting others to look anywhere but at the actual
sin and crimes they committed. As long as they can divert our focus, the
darkness will never be exposed and we will never be able to resist the devil.

http://www.churchprotect.org/why-child-rapists-are-treated-far-better-than-
their-victims-in-the-church/

Dear Church: Stop trying to convert wolves

April 26, 2017 Jon_Jimmy

There was a recent article published at The Gospel Coalition titled Beware of
Broken Wolves. While I appreciate the notion that we need to beware of
wolves, this idea that wolves are broken is something that has permeated the
church and has no biblical basis. We have spoken to dozens of churches in
recent months and I can assure you that the vast majority of them are
sympathetic to the wolves who are child rapists (this is not to suggest that only
child rapists are wolves; more about this in the next post). I recently wrote
about churches defending child rapists here. “We need to gently restore this
brother” is the mantra of the day. It’s become so predictable that we expect
this phrase to roll off the lips of church leaders as blood and flesh are dripping
from the wolf’s. We have grown weary of churches who want to nurture the
wolves back to “health.” The root of the problem is that church leaders don’t
really think in terms of sheep and wolves. They are thinking like sheep, so they
assume that wolves are really just broken sheep who can repent and come
back to the sheep pen. They are not. They are wolves. Genuine wolves. Wolves
do not convert into sheep. They disguise themselves as sheep. This is a crucial
difference. What church leaders overlook is how wolves are described in
Scripture and, most importantly, that Jesus and his disciples never spoke to
their conversion or repentance.

Jesus used word pictures to drive his points home. He used parables and
metaphors to describe the Gospel. He used images that connected the brain to
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the heart and moved people to action. When he was on a rural mountain, he
told his disciples to “beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s
clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves” (Matthew 7:15 ESV). He was in
sheep country. It’s likely that there were sheep grazing within eyesight of the
disciples as Jesus was preaching this very lesson. No shepherd would have
heard these words and thought Jesus was calling them to be gentle, kind, or
understanding of a wolf. Shepherds didn’t sit wolves down and say, “What pain
is in your life to make you like this?” In fact, in this context Jesus didn’t speak
of pain at all. He spoke in terms of fruit! “You will recognize them by their fruit.
. . the diseased tree bears bad fruit.” He shifts images from a wolf to a tree.
Does God’s justice require the wolves to turn their hearts and become sheep,
or the bad trees to become good trees? No! In fact, Jesus’ words are chilling:
“Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
Thus you will recognize them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:19, 20). There was
never a plea to rescue them from the flames, like we find in Jude 1:23. A clear
distinction was made between sinners and wolves.

In John 10, Jesus describes himself as the Good Shepherd who is the door for
the sheep. Those who enter by way of the door will find pasture. What about
the wolf? Does Jesus call him a “brother?” Does he speak about his or her
pain? Let’s listen to His words, “The thief only comes to steal and kill and
destroy” (John 10:10). Is Jesus clear enough? This is who they are. Though
they deceive and disguise themselves as sheep, they are not sheep. They
never were. Their diabolic mission, their very identity is to seek sheep to
devour. They have no interest in repentance.

We also have the tendency to apply “wolf” to people in the church who cause
division. Not all people who cause division are wolves. Some people are like
wrecking balls and they are so ignorant they don’t even know it. Others are
well intentioned but still manage to run people off. When the Bible describes
wolves, it’s not describing what they do. It’s describing who they are. I grew
up in a very conservative church where anybody who taught doctrine that
wasn’t in line with our tradition was labeled a “wolf.” I received a letter after
guest preaching once where I was described as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” by
a youth minister from one of the extreme right schools in the Churches of
Christ. Wolves are not other Christians with whom we disagree. They are not
“brothers” or “sisters” who got caught up in sin. They are what they are. They
are wolves. They are diabolic. They crave the flesh of innocent lambs. And they
will do anything to kill and destroy the souls of people.

Contrast the descriptions and responses that Jon and I hear when we work
with churches who have child rapists with the truths of the Bible. Here are the
things we hear most often:

He’s a pillar of the community

This man is one of my best friends
I believe he genuinely loves the Lord
We are willing to do whatever it takes to help guide him back to the Lord
We want him to be surrounded with love
The Lord expects us to forgive
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The Lord hates the sin and loves the sinner
Everyone has abandoned him, it’s our duty to rally around him
He’s been a member of this church for 30 years
Nobody is beyond redemption
The Lord’s grace is sufficient

Here are some of the things the Bible says about wolves and false prophets
who, by the way, are false teachers because their goal is to ultimately destroy
the souls of God’s children:

The wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience (Eph 5:6)
Evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being
deceived (2 Tim 3:13)
Secretly bring in destructive heresies
Irrational animals, creatures of instinct
Born to be caught and destroyed
They count it pleasure to revel in the daytime
They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their deceptions, while they feast
with you
They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin
They entice unsteady souls
They have hearts trained for greed
Accursed children!
Following the way of Balaam, the son of Beor, who loved gain from wrongdoing
Waterless springs and mists driven by a storm
For them the gloom of utter darkness is reserved
They entice by sensual passions of the flesh those who are barely escaping
from those who live in error
The dog returns to its own vomit
The sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire (all the above
from 2 Peter 2)

Make no mistake. Genuine wolves derive pleasure in inflicting harm on

innocent souls, and the most effective way to do this is to do it in the name of
Jesus. Why do we fail to see what’s already clearly laid out in the Bible? I will
follow up with a blog post or two giving us practical things that we can actually
do to identify who the real wolves are and how we protect the flock from them.

It’s not consent if you make me afraid to say no

Church Protect, Inc. shared Natalie Greenfield's photo

This picture powerfully highlights the number one tactic of the oppressor… that
of trying to get his/her victim to deny, minimize, or negate their God-given
intuition. The hurtful person is hurtful because they are selfish, and selfishness
drives the oppressor to take, steal, and destroy, bit-by-bit at first, but then
ever more and more.

The oppressor has become an oppressor by purposefully, intentionally, and

willfully overriding his/her conscience. With their conscience successfully

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rendered inoperative, there is nothing to stop them from perpetrating against
another person except their intended target’s intuition (the God-designed
internal radar and early warning system). Thus, the selfish person will
systematically and persistently work toward causing the intended victim to
mistrust, deny, or all together dismantle their intuition. Once the job of causing
the intended victim to question and mistrust their intuition is accomplished,
then the oppressor has his foot in the door. Then, it is only a matter of time
until he gets a toehold, then a foothold, then eventually a stranglehold (2 Cor.
11:19-20).

It is imperative to know that God gave you your emotions and feelings for a
reason. Among other things, they serve as the voice of intuition. False guilt
used by the oppressor (regardless of gender or inside or outside the family), is
the sharpest instrument the selfish person utilizes to slowly-but-surely silence
and dismantle the intended victim’s intuition. Thus, if you are in a relationship
with someone where you afraid to let your “yes” be “yes, and your “no” be
“no” (Mt. 5:37), and to speak the truth in love (being “nice” is not a part of
biblical love… being reasonable and kind are, since being “nice” can actually be
rooted in a desire to people-please… which is neither responsible nor spiritual,
and prevents you from being honest), then you are not involved in a healthy,
reasonable, or spiritual relationship. The most godly thing you can do is to
finally be honest with the selfish person (once ensuring your personal safety
first and foremost), then allow distance between you and the selfish pig.

Our thanks to Natalie Greenfield for posting this picture.

17.06.2017

https://www.facebook.com/ChurchProtect/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED

Jimmy Hinton is a native to the Somerset area. He grew up in Shanksville,

where United 93 went down on 9/11. The Somerset Church of Christ is the
congregation he grew up in. He graduated from Harding University in Searcy,
AR in 2001 with a B.A. in Bible and Religion and graduated from Harding
School of Theology in Memphis, TN in May of 2007 with a Master of Divinity.
Jimmy is the 2007 recipient of the Jack P. Lewis Ministry of Study Award. He
began preaching at Somerset full time in June of 2009.

Jimmy married Natalie in 2005 and they are the proud parents of Eden,
Cameron, and Isaac.

Phone 814.445.5569

jimmyhinton79@gmail.com

ABOUT

To be quite honest, I don’t know where I belong. I was born somewhere on the
dividing line between Generation X and Millennials. To be honest, I have no
idea which generation I belong to. Neither of them describe me. I am the

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middle child; number 6 of 11. I was born and raised in Shanksville, PA, exactly
1 mile from where United 93 was laid to rest on 9/11. In 2001 I was running
from God, much like Jonah did when he fled for Tarshish. God was calling me
to preach and, having just graduated college with a Bible degree, I vowed I
would never preach. A recruiter from a respected seminary pressed me hard to
enroll in the M.Div program and I declined. In September 2001, less than four
months after graduating college, I had just completed truck driving school and
climbed into the cab of my new home on wheels. It was my way of protesting
the idea of seminary while getting to travel the country. I stopped overnight in
my semi truck in Shanksville with my very first load on September 8th, just
three days before the fateful terror attacks would lead a group of heroes to
storm the cockpit of United 93, bringing it to rest near my backyard.

Exactly one year after I began driving truck, and 135,000 miles later, I
transitioned from the seat of my truck to a classroom seat at seminary. School
was never my cup of tea and, ironically, writing was the thing I dreaded the
most. I’ve always hated writing and was never good at it. Nobody told me that
seminary consists of writing, writing, and more writing.

In 2007 my new bride and I relocated back north just 10 miles from my
hometown of Shanksville for a “temporary” transition until we found
permanent jobs somewhere. Since our stay was supposed to be temporary, I
crawled back into the cab of a semi truck for another year, running from the
very calling God had been whispering in my ear all along. In 2009 I began
preaching at my childhood congregation, where I remain to this day.

In July of 2011, just two years into my new role as minister, a victim disclosed
to me that she had been sexually abused by my father, the former preacher at
my congregation. Within seconds, my life began to unravel. My childhood hero
was now a villain who had dozens of victims who’d been humiliated and
violated in the worst possible way. My mother and I reported him to the police
and he is currently serving a 30-60 year prison sentence for sex crimes against
children. I had to learn how to lead a church through the carnage of abuse
when my own family was living in the aftermath of my father’s sins. It’s one
thing to walk a church through this valley. It’s quite another when the abuser
was your own father. There were no resources for this kind of church problem,
and still it’s one of the most common and tragic things that’s stealing away the
souls of our youth.

In 2015 when we thought things couldn’t get worse, I got the call that my
oldest brother died suddenly at the young age of 42. My wife and I were
putting our 9 day old baby to bed when the call came. Two days later, I packed
up my family and made the 12 hour drive to lay my brother to rest.

Grief and tragedy are no strangers to my family. Then again, they are no
strangers to most of us. I’ve worked tirelessly to understand the mind and
motives of pedophiles so that we can better protect our children from them.
This site is dedicated to my musings on abuse, God, and the journey of healing
for survivors. Blessings

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http://jimmyhinton.org/about-jimmy/

SPEAKING

Do you ever wonder how to approach the topic of child sexual abuse
with your leadership? I’ve found that leaders in organizations truly do have
the best interest of children at hand, but they usually don’t know where to
even begin to look for outside help. Truth be told, I began speaking on this
topic because I craved resources when our world fell apart. I agonized over the
fact that nobody in my circle of family and friends knew that my father was
molesting very young children. My life calling is to help other people ensure
that they prevent abuse before it ever happens. It can be done. Here are some
reasons God has placed me in a unique position to help serve you:

 I reported my pedophile father as soon as allegations of abuse arose

 There were victims in my congregation and my wife and I walked the
church through the healing process
 I consulted with and trained dozens of churches and other secular
organizations since my father’s arrest
 Trainings are unique because I do demonstrations, showing specific
techniques pedophiles and other sexual abusers use to gain access to
children
 I developed a facility walk through, where high risk areas are identified
and solutions are given
 I created a Predator Recognition Tool for identifying high risk individuals
who otherwise would remain undetected
 Prevention and intervention are my highest priorities–waiting to report
abuse after the fact is not good enough
 My research focuses on understanding the mind of the highly skilled
pedophile and how they keep us fooled
 I believe good theology leads to good practices and bad theology leads
to bad practices–taking a right biblical approach is vital
 I am a Certification Specialist for G.R.A.C.E

Most requested topics are:

 Understanding Predators: Unlocking the “Magicians Code” of Child Sexual

Predators
 Understanding Ourselves: How Predators Hack Our Belief System to Hide
Their Abuse
 Understanding Survivors of Abuse: Caring forThose Who are Close to
God’s Heart
 Understanding God: Where Were You When I Needed You Most?

http://jimmyhinton.org/speaking/

Risk Assessment

Are children within your organization at risk of being sexually abused? A note
on scoring--there is never a guarantee that any place is completely fail-safe,

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no matter the level of training and no matter the score. Child sexual predators
are highly adaptive. Scoring is always subjective, so these are merely
guidelines. A score of 0 is ideal. A score of 1-3 means that you are at moderate
risk and that your organization is enticing for a child sexual predator. A score
of 4-10 means that a very serious cultural change needs to take place within
your organization. At this point, it is very easy for skilled sex offenders to find,
groom, and produce victims, whether the abuse happens on or off church
property.

Do you have any known pedophile sex offenders attending your church or
organization?
2 puncte
Yes
No

Do you have multiple known pedophile sex offenders attending your church or
organization?
2 puncte
Yes
No
Do you have a written child protection policy for your organization?
Un punct
Yes
No
Do all your staff and volunteers have updated background checks and
clearances?
Un punct
Yes
No
Have your staff and volunteers been trained within the last 2 years for how to
detect abuse and report suspicions of abuse?
2 puncte
Yes
No
Do you keep all unoccupied rooms and spaces locked at all times?
Un punct
Yes
No
Has your organization had more than one person accused of sexual abuse of a
minor in the past?
Un punct
Yes
No

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