Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 16

Door to book deal with Forge for Moratorium.

The

Door 79 mass market edition of April's Clinical Trial


is on the Albertsons and Fred Meyer
bestseller lists, a "top-5 'lane-blocker' at
Safeway, and a "Rising Star" in the S.E.
Winter 2001-2002 aeionline.com News Group.
thewriterslifeline.com  AEI deal for Paul Grangaard’s for The
Grangaard Method: The Revolutionary Way
of Accumulating and Managing Retirement
Funds with Putnam-Perigee (John Duff).
 John Scott Shepherd's “Joe Somebody”
(starring Tim Allen, Julie Bowen, Jim
Belushi; directed by John Pasquin; produced
by Ken Atchity & exec prod Chi-Li Wong,
with Kopelson’s Matt Gross; see p. 10)
premiered 12/17 in Kansas City (p. 12) and
12/19 in Los Angeles, and hit theaters
nationwide 12/21. John’s Henry's List of
Wrongs has been sold to Japan and Germany
at the Frankfurt Book Fair. JSS has signed a
deal with Revolution Studios to write AEI
client Suzi Parker’s “Genie in a Bottle” (see
p. 12).
 Steve Alten was interviewed for two hours
on the Art Bell show, and appeared on
http://stygianstar.homestead.com/main.html.
His ADOPT-AN-AUTHOR program is now
being utilized by over 700 classrooms across
the country and will be featured in both
Barnes & Noble and Border's upcoming
Teacher Appreciation Events. Steve’s
forthcoming Goliath (20,000 Leagues
Under the Sea meets 2001; Tor) has been
sold by AEI/Baror to Germany and Japan at
the Frankfurt Book Fair.
 AEI deal for Gary Buffone’s Choking on
the Silver Spoon with ReganBooks (Cal
Morgan). Gary’s The Myth of Tomorrow
was sold to McGraw-Hill (Nancy Hancock).
 AEI deal for April Christofferson's
Moratorium and a second yet-untitled
thriller, with Forge (Natalia Aponte).Two-

1
 AEI deal with Laurence Mark’s Productions
for Shirley Palmer’s Danger Zone.
Shirley’s Veiled Journey will be republished
by Mira in May 2002.
 AEI deal for Mary Taylor’s Art of
Seduction to Three Rivers/Random House
(Carrie Thornton).

To JSS: You talk faster than the human 
thumb.—10/20/01 telcon

I’m   paranoid,   but   I’m   an   optimist.   I’m   a 


paranoid   optimist.—K.M.,   9/22/01 
road 

It’s   natural.   They’re   treating   us   exactly 


like   the   50­lb   gorillas   we   are.—
9/11/01, Maple Grove, to CLW
I used to look younger, when I was younger.
—A. McK. 9/3/01, Curson

If I could live my life over I wouldn’t have 
time.—Bob Hope

I don’t have enough money to have a crutch 
on   my   shoulder.—John   Robert 
Marlow 11/17/01
Your grandson is so gorgeous you could 
 Gary and Joy Lundbergs' Marriage, for
Better not Worse was the subject of a major eat him with a spoon.—CLW 
feature in the Utah Standard Examiner on 11/25/01, Curson
September 1, 2001: "Book lists 'Fourteen It's slave labor [screen writing] and what
secrets to a Happy Marriage” p. 5). Their do you get for it? A lousy fortune.--
Education Week address was chosen for S. N. Berhrman
broadcast by BYU-TV.
 John Robert Marlow’s Nano has been You   had   me   at   “Get   Lost.”—Jack   Black, 
judged a finalist in the Nicholls Fellowship Shallow Hal
competition.
 Rosalyn McMillan’s This Side of Eternity
made Billboard’s bestseller list. In the Hide whatever that new drug you have is…I like 
September issue of Essence magazine, it.—Sam, “Life as a House”
Eternity is number three for fiction.

2
KJA: Would you mind giving me a respectful bow?
KM: Not yet. Wait until I see box office.—12/3/01

JSS: I thought Joel was dating someone.
KJA:   He   is.   That’s   why   he’s   late.   He 
stopped by to date her on the way 
over.—8/3/01 Curson

All true lovers have spirits too free. It keeps us 
fastened eternally to ecstasy and the wild flashing 
colors of pain.—Erin Kamler, Runway Sixty-Nine

You have something that is not derivative. 
Don’t push it till it is.—Terence M. 
to JRM, 11/19/01

Do not forget: A man needs little to lead a 
happy life.—Marcus Aurelius

Death  is  when  you don’t eat molasses & 


chips   anymore.—Jack   Kerouac, 
diary, quoted in Atlantic November 
1998

Warren   Z.:   They’re   taking   my   blood   for 


another test.
KJA: Come on, everyone in town knows you 
don’t have blood.—8/3/01 telcon

I look like an innocent Asian girl…don’t I?—
K.M., 10/25/01, Broadway Diner, NYC

KJA: Have you been to one of those blow­job how­to 
parties?

Valarie P.: I don’t need to go to those parties.—
10/19/01­­Telcon

3
Unfortunately, I found a parking ticket on 
the windshield of my shaded car, a 
twenty­five   dollar   penalty   for 
neglecting to move it by ten a.m. for 
the  street  sweeper,  even  though  it 
probably hadn’t come through yet
—since the road was filthy as ever. 
So now I owe twenty­five bucks for 
not   moving   in   time   for   someone 
that didn’t bother to show up at all. 
This is the crux of what is wrong 
with this world. We’re fucking with 
the   wrong   people   for   the   wrong 
reasons.—Jay   Ashkinos, 
Everything Else Is Real (MS)

4
Harvard? These guys never even finished  This motherfucker’s so cool when he goes to bed 
kindergarten. They were drafted.—Frenchie Fox,  sheep count him.—Mamet, “Heist”
“Small Time Crooks”
Men vs. Women
For a true writer each book should be a
new beginning where he tries again for Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like
something that is beyond attainment. grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep
He should always try for something them in the dark until they mature into something
you'd like to have dinner with. -- Kathleen Mifsud
that has never been done or that
others have tried and failed. The best way to get most husbands to do
--Ernest Hemingway something is to suggest that perhaps they're too
old to do it.
Justina S.: This is the smartest thing I’ve ever  -- Ann Bancroft
read. Fix it.—10/10/01 telcon with JRM
Any husband who says. "My wife and I are
Jan A.: We were authorized by you to be ourselves! completely equal partners," is talking about either a
law firm or a hand of bridge. -- Bill Cosby
KJA: But who knew this was you?—9/18/01 
I think men who have a pierced ear are better
Lorraine
material for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.-- Rita Rudner
When the hole becomes so deep that you can’t see 
out, how do you know which was is up?—Jay  Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half
Ashkinos, Everything Else (MS) shut afterwards.-- Benjamin Franklin

I could go farther if my body wasn’t there.—Sara A.  I was married by a judge. I should have asked


for a jury.-- George Burns
9/29, Lorraine
When women are depressed, they either eat or go
Guest: I loved the way you carried yourself across  shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole
the woman. different way of thinking.-- Elaine Boosler

May Sloan: You can’t carry yourself across the 
room. That’s basically not possible.—“Small 
Time Crooks”

Girl: Wait for me!

Jay: What, here?—Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

Kill with a borrowed knife.—“36 Strategies”  
(Chinese) [via Robert Cantrell]

5
At a party, one woman said to another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I
married the wrong man."-- Anonymous #1

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them


were just napping.-- Rita Rudner
[via Danny Aguillard]

If you are wise, you will mingle one thing 
with the other: not hoping without 
doubt, not doubting without hope.­­
Seneca

6
Take it easy, baby. That stuff will rot your   On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying
stomach lining. over the Parliament building is an American
flag.
But I get to drink it first.—“Heist”
 All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction"
are stuck on 4:20.
Be of good cheer; after sad and evil days   No word in the English language rhymes
hurries the happier hour of gentle  with month, orange, silver, or purple.
joy.—Sextus Propertius  “Dreamt" is the only English word that ends
in the letters "mt."
 All 50 states are listed across the top of the
What a small portion of infinite and  Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
immeasurable time is allotted to each of us. It is so   Almonds are a member of the peach family.
quickly swallowed up by eternity. How small is   Winston Churchill was born in a ladies'
the clod of earth on which you crawl about.  room during a dance.
 Maine is the only state whose name is just
Remember all these things and consider nothing  one syllable.
great but this: Do what Nature bids you, and   There are only four words in the English
suffer what Life brings.—Marcus Aurelius language which end in "dous": tremendous,
horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Don’t even think about it. I will shock you so bad  Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de
your tongue will turn black.—can anyone identify Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de
this quote? Porciuncula."
 A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
Hindsight is like foresight without a future.  An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
—“Life Is a House”  Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
 In most advertisements, the time displayed
on a watch is 10:10.
Think You Know Everything?  Al Capone's business card said he was a
used furniture dealer.
 Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.  The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame
 Peanuts are one of the ingredients of Street were named after Bert the cop and
dynamite. Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a
 There are 293 ways to make change for a Wonderful Life."
dollar.  A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
 The average person's left hand does 56% of  A goldfish has a memory span of three
the typing. seconds.
 A shark is the only fish that can blink with  A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
both eyes.  It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes
 There are more chickens than people in the open.
world.  The giant squid has the largest eyes in the
 Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown world.
in New Jersey.  In England, the Speaker of the House is not
 The longest one-syllable word in the English allowed to speak.
language is screeched.

7
 The microwave was invented after a The miser does no one any good, but he treats 
researcher walked by a radar tube and a himself worst of all.—Publius Syrus
chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
 Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. KJA: Do you find most people who drive that way
 The average person falls asleep in seven are women?
minutes. K.M.: Definitely.
 There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf KJA: How do you explain it?
ball. K.M.: Menstruation.—10/10/01, Wilshire Blvd
 "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is
typed with only the left hand.
I’m not in any position to judge anyone, Will. It’s 
[via Danny A.]
 about what you think was right at the time. (beat) 
Editing Hemingway was like wrestling with a And what you’re willing to live with.—Hillary 
god.—Tom Jenks [via thewriterslifeline.com] Seitz, “Insomnia” 

Kid: What’d you say to him? Peter O’Toole told me I should find a woman I hate, 
Brautigan: Oh, just intellectual chitchat among men  give her my house and skip the rest of it.—Ben 
of goodwill.—“Hearts in Atlantis” Affleck
Come on, don’t have willpower now!—A. McK.—
KJA: You didn’t think on your vacation?
9/3/Curson
Valarie P.: I didn’t think at all. All I did was read.
Julie G.: He hypnotized her. I’ve never seen a KJA: That’s says it all.
writer do that to another writer before.— V.P.: You’re not going to quote me on that!
Intermedia, 8/3/01
KJA: You’re doomed.—9/9/01 telcon
He lives doubly who also enjoys the past.—
Marcus Martial If you’re looking for pity, it’s in the dictionary 
between pathetic and pube.—“Slap Her, She’s 
And so, at this time, French” Lamar Damon & Robert Lee King
   I greet you.
Not quite as the world When evil times prevail, take care to 
   Sends greetings, preserve the serenity of your 
But with profound esteem heart.­­Horace
   And with the prayer September 11, 2001:
       That for you,
    Now and forever, TRY TO PRAISE THE MUTILATED WORLD
        The day breaks,
Try to praise the mutilated world.
And the shadows flee away. Remember June's long days,
    Take heaven.—John Robinson, Heaven on Earth,  and the wild strawberries, drops of wine, the dew.
MS The nettles that methodically overgrow
the abandoned homesteads of exiles.
You must praise the mutilated world.

8
You watched the stylish yachts and ships; murdering him, so it is with the author; with his
one of them had a long trip ahead of it, great dreams he helps his readers to survive, to
while salty oblivion awaited others. avoid their worst intentions. And society,
You've seen the refugees heading nowhere, without realizing it ... respects and even exalts
you've heard the executioners sing joyfully. him, albeit with a kind of jealousy, fear and even
You should praise the mutilated world. repulsion, since few people want to discover the
Remember the moments when we were together horrors that lurk in the depths of their souls.
in a white room and the curtain fluttered. This is the highest mission of great literature,
Return in thought to the concert where music flared. and there is no other. --Ernesto Sábato (b. 1911),
You gathered acorns in the park in autumn Argentinian novelist, essayist. Independent
and leaves eddied over the earth's scars. (London, June 20, 1992) [via JSS]
Praise the mutilated world
and the gray feather a thrush lost, He’s getting pasty-looking like someone who’s
and the gentle light that strays and vanishes been feeding exclusively on is ego.
and returns. [New Yorker, via KM]
Everywhere chance reigns, just cast out 
your line and where you least 
expect it, there waits a fish in the 
swirling waters.­­Ovid
I hate the fuckin’ Swiss. They make these little
clocks. Two cocksuckers come out and whack
each other on the head with fucking hammers.
What kind of sick mentality is that?—“Heist” LIFE'S LAWS
When I want to read a good book, I write 1. The two most common elements in the universe
one.—Benjamin Disraeli are hydrogen and stupidity
Don’t you want to hear my last words? 2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
you.
I just did.—“Heist”   

I’ll be as quiet as an ant pissing on cotton. 3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes
I don’t want you to be as quiet as an ant pissing on misery easier to live with.
cotton. I want you to be as quiet as an ant not even
thinking of pissing on cotton. –“Heist” 4. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this
Money has never made anyone rich.—Seneca bull before.

KJA: Congrats on your first porn film. 5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally
Warren Z.: Isn’t it great publicity? ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
KJA: Plus great extra income.
Warren Z.: I had nothing to do with it, I 6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than
swear. a bad check.
KJA: Sure. 8/5/01 telcon
7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a
Just as the office worker dreams of murdering unicorn.
his hated boss and so is saved from really
8. It has recently been discovered that research

9
causes cancer in rats. comes due.” But Bill still trembled in the presence
of this powerful, yet portable insrument.” And as
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. for this,” the Devil continued, “it’s merely a
convenience. You have no idea of the paperwork
10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will generated by the selling of even one soul.” With
forget your book. that he tapped again and a second machine began
spewing a fully formed contract of servitude. The
11. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, terms called for a prosperous period equal to Bill’s
you will forget where you live. life of misfortune to date plus five, twenty-five
years in total. It was decided Bill’s fortune was to
12. The trouble with doing something right the first come at the hands of the very object that had caused
time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. his great fright, in par because the Devil saw Bill’s
fascination with the product and also because the
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is Devil was a fan of irony, O. Henry being the first
simply to serve as a warning to others. author he ever signed. The deal was consummated
with saliva rather than blood, a final generosity
14. TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor. extended on account of Bill’s squeamish nature, it
being common knowledge he became nauseous
15. The average woman would rather have beauty even cutting his toenails.—“The Devil and William
than brains because the average man can see better Gates,” Jon Stewart, “Naked Pictures of Famous
than he can think. People.”

16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have


little or no influence on society.

17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by


moving from where you left them to where you
can't find them.

18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is


that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Bill entered the bedroom with trepidation.


He knew the Devil lorded it over an empire of
unspeakable evil, and had also caused Flip Wilson’s
Geraldine to do some incredibly sassy things. But
today the Devil was all business. The fiend pulled
out a rectangular object, no bigger than a common
notebook, flipped it open and tapped a pointed
finger onto its lettered keyboard. The doohickey
hummed to life and Ol’ Bill about jumped through a
window in fright. “Spare my life, Satan, I’ll serve
you however you please!” implored Bill, cowering
from the eerie luminescence of the machine’s face.
“Fear not,” the Beast said calmly, “For you have
many years of prosperity ahead, before your bill

10
Door to Door 79             323­932­0407 11
Door to Door 79             323­932­0407 12
Door to Door 79             323­932­0407 13
Door to Door 79             323­932­0407 14
Door to Door 79             323­932­0407 15
Door to Door 79             323­932­0407 16

Centres d'intérêt liés