PACIFIC OAKS COLLEGE

Pasadena, California

HD 361 Social and Political Contexts of Human Development:

Research Topic:
Abuse and the Healing Process

DIANA LISSETTE CAMPOS

& DIANE GONZALEZ

Faculty:
Professor Debra A. Postil, J.D.
Summer 2017
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Abuse

Abuse as defined in the dictionary is to treat a person with cruelty or violence. Most

people automatically make the assumption that abuse is connected to physical pain. However,

there are different forms of abuse and each one can have a large impact in a person’s life. Any

type of abuse can affect any individual's social, physical, and emotional development. When

dealing with abuse; there is the more commonly known physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional

abuse, and sexual abuse. Throughout this paper we will be explaining in depth those types of

abuse and about the healing process.

To begin with, physical abuse is described as non-accidental use of force that results in

bodily injury, pain, or impairment. Any person can suffer from physical abuse. Including,

children and adults, however, it is more common for elderly, developmentally disabled, mentally

ill, people who are physically disabled, substance abusers, and intimate partners. One common

trait that people who are physically abused share is the feeling of shame and at times guilt. They

have a tendency of hiding the abuse from others and feel at fault for the incidents; not

understanding they are the victims (Tracy, 2016).

The victims continuously blame themselves as they feel they caused the incident or

caused the abuser to get upset and take action as they physically abuse the victim. Physical abuse

often occurs in a continuous cycle. For example, when in a physically abusive relationship; not

every moment of the relationship is abusive. Since the cycle isn’t every moment of the

relationship, it can give the victim the hopes of the cycle ending or being a one time thing. The

physical abuse cycle often looks like; threats of violence, the actual physical abuse (bitting,
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slapping, etc.), followed by the apologies of the abuse, which can include them turning on the

“charm” or buying gifts, until the cycle repeats itself (Tracy, 2016).

To continue, verbal abuse (also known as verbal bullying) can be defined as a negative

defining statement told to the victim or about the victim. Verbal abuse is the abuse that is more

difficult to discover since it is heard and not seen. Some verbal abuse signs to look out for

include, derogatory comments, making fun or continuous insults, the abuser finding a way to

back you into a corner with no escape and continuously making rude and cruel remarks, etc

(Holly, 2016). Symptoms of verbal abuse can include, nervousness when talking about a

particular topic, a constant “need” to tell yourself about events that occurred making them seem

innocent, doubting your own intelligence, sanity, or communication skills because of the abuser,

the hesitation on recalling the previous conversations with the abuser seeing as their version is

different then your own, etc. Victims of verbal abuse often have a disbelief of their own

perception and usually have a thought of, “Oh, they didn’t mean it that way,” in order to excuse

the abusive behavior (Holly, 2016).

Next, we continue with discussing emotional abuse, which is defined as any act including

confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other

treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth. Emotional abuse

symptoms can vary in any individual's life. Signs can include, yelling or swearing, insults, treats,

humiliating the victim, denial of the abuse and blaming the victim, etc. Just like most forms of

abuse, emotional abuse can continue on a cycle. For a relationship, one partner tends to

emotionally abuse the other in order to show a sense of dominance and control (Tracy, 2016).
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As the cycle mentioned in the physical abuse portion; there is a similar cycle for

emotional abuse. The abuser constantly abuses the other person and finds ways to make up

excuses for their own behavior. As they continue to make up excuses; they avoid taking

responsibility for that they have done. The abuser then have a tendency of acting “normal” and

as if the abuse never happened or again with the “charm” or giving a gift until the cycle repeats

itself. However, these cycles usually always repeat themselves (Tracy, 2016).

Another form of abuse is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can be defined as any unwanted

sexual activity. However, the sexual activity is not limited to certain actions; sexual abuse can

happen in many different forms. Sexual abuse can happen from rape or being sexually touched

without consent. The abuser either uses force, making threats, or takes advantage of the victim

without their consent (McAdoo, 2016).

If the victim does not give consent; then it is sexual abuse. Usually, but not always, the

victim and abuser know each other; which is how date rape can occur. The victim can sometimes

feel guilty or at fault; in the sense of feeling they provoked the abuser either by leading them on

or the way they were dressed. They can also feel at fault when starting to do something with the

abuser, but once someone says no; that is abuse. No means no plain and simple. Immediate

reactions that can happen after sexual abuse has occurred can be, a feeling of shock, fear, or

disbelief (McAdoo, 2016).

Abuse comes in different forms and any person can be an abuser or the victim to abuse.

Abuse is not accidental; the intention of abuse is to harm whether physically or mentally. The

reason we chose this topic is to cause more awareness on the different types of abuse. As for me,

this topic hits me harder since growing up I suffered from constant verbal abuse from my own
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father. I was never good enough and he would constantly insult me and remind me how useless

and worthless I was. Later in life I had found out my father went through similar abuse from his

own mother but instead of breaking the cycle he continued it with me.

Thanks to my mother I was able to break the cycle and find self value, but that value

came with a price. By the time I learned about myself, my father’s abuse had already broke me. I

went in search for acceptance and looking for any person to fill that void I had felt for so long. I

eventually met a guy who said all the rights things and seemed caring. I was blinded. I was so

caught up in finding acceptance I didn’t notice what I got myself into.

I became the victim of verbal abuse and battery. He had full control of my life and would

blackmail me anytime I didn’t do what he asked. I was stuck in a deep black hole and couldn’t

find my way out. He continuously harassed me with comments and stalking. For the longest

time, I just kept blaming myself and eventually said I probably deserved it for any mistakes I

committed in my life. When it started to get physical, I finally opened my mouth to ask for help.

My mom helped me out; and helped me get my life together again.

That situation took a huge emotional toll in my life. After he was out of my life; I lived

with nothing but fear. I was too afraid to leave my house or do anything. I spent nights crying

asking why until I fell into a deep depression. I lost all control and hope as I thought my life

would have been better if I would end it right then and there.

There I stood ready to end it all when a familiar voice inside my head that said, “stop,

don’t do it.” I started to listen until I finally realized it was my mother’s voice. At that moment in

life she actually called me; not knowing she had just stopped me from almost making the biggest

mistake in my life. After that I learned to communicate better and found ways such as therapy to
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help me cope. Which brings us to the following topic of healing and the therapies to help those

who suffered from different forms of abuse.

Although the types of abuse mentioned above share some similarities, each one is

different and offers its own challenges. The therapy techniques I will discuss are not specific to

one type of abuse but can be applied to various types of abuses. Depending on the individual, a

medical professional may decide to use one or a variety of therapy techniques to help in the

healing process of their patient.

After abuse has taken part, the first step to healing is to report the abuse to local law

enforcement. The survivor of the abuse can take some solace in the fact that the abuser will

hopefully be punished for the crime they have committed against them. After, it is

recommended the individual get a full and thorough evaluation by a medical doctor. The doctor

will be able to provide additional resources to psychosocial therapists or cognitive emotional

behavioral therapists. In Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of development, he describes his

first psychosocial crisis as trust vs. mistrust (www.simplypsychology.com). In order for an

abuse survivor to learn to trust and successfully move on to the next seven stages of healthy

development, they must regain their feelings of safety and mental stability by talking to a mental

health professional.

Another form of therapy is working with a personal life coach. Working with a life

coach allows individuals a one-to-one personal experience. People who choose this type of

therapy are looking for someone to help heal emotional pain and more importantly someone to

teach them how to do it for themselves (Deaver, 2017). By working with life coaches,

individuals have been known to improve self-acceptance and self-compassion, an awareness of

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emotional needs and the support needed to meet them, reduction of self-sabotaging behaviors,

reduced anxiety and depression and healthier relationship development (Deaver, 2017). For

individuals that have experienced sexual, domestic, and emotional abuse, life coaches seem to

provide them with the tools needed to choose life partners that promote healthy relationships.

Some other therapy techniques include meditation, exercise and aromatherapy.

Meditation has scientific proof that individuals who mediate at least 20 minutes a day,

experience improved mental health and focus, better decision making and problem solving,

improved immune system, less worry, anxiety and impulsivity, and lessens fear, improves mood

and self-esteem and increased (Dienstmann.2016). In a Harvard study conducted by Dr. Sara

Lazar, it found that “grey matter concentration increases in areas of the brain involved in

learning and memory, regulating emotions, sense of self and having perspective…(another study

found) a larger hippocampal and frontal volumes of grey matter for long-term mediators

(Dienstmann.2016). These findings are important because there is actual scientific proof that

practicing meditation can improve and change the wiring of the brain to promote healthier

mental health.

Practicing meditation techniques along with regular exercise can further improve one’s

mental and physical health. Aromatherapy also has been known to enhance moods.

Aromatherapy is “the use of plant based oils to improve psychological and physical health,

usually through inhalation or massage” (Wanjek, 2007). Aromatherapy is a form of alternative

medicine and has best results when used in combination with other therapy techniques.

Another form of therapy includes the use of therapy animals. Therapy animals, also

known as service animals have been effective when assisting victims of post traumatic stress
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disorder (PTSD), like in victims who have experienced a sexual assault. The University of

Pittsburgh School of Medicine concluded a study that showed therapy animals increase

endorphins, a feel good hormone secreted in the brain and nervous system in human beings.

This is significant for individuals who have suffered a serious emotional injury because the

therapy animals help the individual regain and stabilize their emotions, learn to self-soothe, and

provide a feeling of security and companionship.

A therapy animal can also be part of a support team for survivors of abuse. Building a

strong support team is essential. Having family, friends, and support groups can aid in reducing

feelings of loneliness, being judged and regain feelings of empowerment and control. If family

and friends are not available then, hotlines, church or religious organizations can also be of

service to provide individuals the opportunity to vent their feelings and feel a sense of belonging

and learn to reconnect to society.

Whatever form of therapy a survivor chooses to use, the main goal of therapy is to heal

from the abuse. The important thing is to ask for help and seek the best method or methods that

fit the survivor. In conclusion, all types of abuse are cruel and have significant mind and body

altering effects on an individual. Just because there is no mark does not mean it’s not abuse.

Unfortunately, abuse happens and knowing the various forms of therapy techniques can help us

help others learn to heal.

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References:

Deaver, Diana. (2017). 7 Important Ways Working with a Life Coach Improves

Emotional Health.

Dienstmann, Giovanni. (2016). Scientific Benefits of Meditation- 76 Things You Might

Be Missing Out On.

Holly, Kellie. "Verbal Abuse ​Signs and Symptoms​ Cause Emotional Pain - Verbal Abuse -

Abuse." ​HealthyPlace​. N.p., 26 May 2016. Web. 09 July 2017.<​https://www.healthy

place.com/abuse/verbal-abuse/verbal-abuse-signs-and-symptoms-cause-emotional-pain/>

McAdoo, Jerry. "Sexual Abuse." ​American Psychological Association​. American Psychological

Association, 2016. Web. 09 July 2017. <http://www.apa.org/topics/sexual-abuse/>.

The United States Department of Justice. Retrieved from ​https://www.justice.go​v

www.simplypsychology.com Retrieved on July 7,2017.

Tracy, Natasha. "What Is ​Physical Abuse​? - Adult Physical Abuse - Abuse." ​HealthyPlace​. N.p.,

16 Nov. 2016. Web. 09 July 2017.<​https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/adult-physical

-abuse/w​hat-is-physical-abuse/>.

Wanjek, Christopher. “Something Smells Funny.” 11 Dec 2011. http://www.livescience.com