TEOTWAWKI, Too!

– Part I – Chapter 1 – Acronyms

TEOTWAWKI is an acronym for The End Of The World As We Know It. People who
use the terms also frequently use the acronym TSHTF which stands for The Stuff Hits
The Fan. You can vary the tense of the word ‘hit’, but it always means the same thing,
something big and bad happened. In the late 1990s there was much ado over the fact
that computers require 3 or 4 digits to recognize year ends beginning in the year 2000.
Worse, the databases that rule our lives only had room for 2 digits. Every database in
the world was going to need to be reprogrammed to allow it to hold the next information.
They even came up for a name for the phenomenon, calling it the Millennium Bug or the
Y2K problem.

People who were what one might call Survivalists all said, “We told you so,” and stored
extra food and ammunition. People who weren’t Survivalists got into the act and stored
extra food, just in case. Computer programmers worked 24/7 solving the problem and
the Millennium Bug never hit. As a result, many of the non-survivalists allowed their
preparations to slacken. The computer fix that programmers had come up with was
more or less a permanent fix. No longer would there be a Millennium Bug.

Some industries started experiencing related problems early in the 1990s as software
began to process future dates past 1999. For example, in 1993, some people with fi-
nancial loans that were due in 2000 received (incorrect) notices that they were 93 years
past due. As the decade progressed, more and more companies experienced problems
and lost money due to erroneous date data. As another example, meat-processing
companies incorrectly destroyed large amounts of good meat because the computer-
ized inventory system identified the meat as expired. There were, in fact, many such
minor “horror stories” like these, which received much play in the press as 2000 ap-
proached.

As the decade progressed, identifying and correcting or replacing affected computer

systems or computerized devices became the major focus of information technology
departments in most large companies and organizations. Millions of lines of program-
ming code were reviewed and fixed during this period. Many corporations replaced ma-
jor software systems with completely new ones that did not have the date processing
problems. It was frequently reported that corporations had already experienced at least
minor Y2K problems and some major problems as well, due to date look-ahead func-
tions in code and embedded systems, but it was and still is not clear what the full cost
and seriousness of these problems were.

Y2K was a big media story in 1999. In some countries public apprehension was tre-
mendous, reaching, in some quarters, enormous proportions. Some individuals stock-
piled canned or dried food in anticipation of food shortages. A few commentators pre-
dicted a full-scale apocalypse, among them computer consultant Edward Yourdon, reli-
gious commentator Gary North, and economist Edward Yardeni.

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As midnight approached on 31 December, a team of US and Russian military personnel
was in place in case of the significant danger that uncorrected Y2K faults in Russian
military computers might set off warning systems or even cause missile launches, thus
possibly risking nuclear war.

The year 2038 problem may cause software to fail in or about the year 2038. The prob-
lem is limited to those systems that implement the POSIX time standard (UNIX) and de-
fine the time_t type used to manipulate time values to be a 32-bit signed binary number.
POSIX represents time as the number of seconds since January 1, 1970. In 2038, the
number of seconds that have elapsed since this time will exceed the capacity of a 31-bit
number (by convention, the 32nd bit is needed to represent whether the number is posi-
tive or negative). The problem is likely to go away as 64-bit computers gain prominence.

During the period of time the world was concentrating on the Y2K problem, a group of
Saudis and others came to the United States and went to flying school. They wanted to
learn how to fly the large commercial aircraft. They didn’t seem to be too interested in
learning how to land them, however. The country was only vaguely aware of what prep-
arations were being made and it wasn’t until September 11, 2001 that the planning of
the Saudis came to fruition. The short version is the people hijacked 4 commercial air-
craft and succeeded in slamming one into each of the World Trade Center towers and a
3rd into the Pentagon. People who still had some of their Y2K preps left over updated
their supplies.

The President of the United States, George W. Bush, declared a War on Terror and
sent troops first to Afghanistan and then to Iraq. The troops were looking for the mas-
termind behind the plot, a fella named Osama bin Laden who ran a Terrorist Organiza-
tion called al Qaeda or, alternatively al Qaida. He was angry because of the presence of
American troops in Saudi Arabia during the Gulf War. Saudi Arabia is the home of Mec-
ca, the holiest of the Muslim cities. It is also the home of the Wahhabi Muslim sect. This
extremist sect of Islam considers itself to be a puritanical reform movement. Followers
believe that Wahhabism is the purest form of Islam. In reality, Wahhabism is a distortion
of Islam, known as Islamism. Osama bin Laden had capitalized on this widespread
Wahhabism to unite Muslims across the Islamic world. The movement grew by indoctri-
nating youngsters in its hatred while ostensibly educating them. It was fueled by mas-
sive infusions of Saudi money.

Bush had opened a very large can of worms. In one speech he declared North Korea,
Iran and Iraq to be an Axis of Evil. Under Secretary of State John Bolton gave a speech
entitled Beyond the Axis of Evil. In it he added three more nations to be grouped with
the already mentioned rogue states: Libya, Syria, and Cuba. The criteria for member-
ship of this group was: state sponsors of terrorism that are pursuing or who have the
potential to pursue weapons of mass destruction (WMD) or have the capability to do so
in violation of their treaty obligations. After Bush defined which nations he considered to
be in the axis of evil, several opponents of America created their own version of the axis

2
of evil. Many critics in Muslim nations defined their axis of evil as being composed of
United States, Israel and Britain.

By analogy to axis of evil, the term axis of the willing has occasionally been applied to
the “coalition of the willing” (for countries that participated in the 2003 invasion of Iraq).

The term has also lent itself to various parodies, including axis of weasels (mocking cer-
tain countries that did not support USA on Iraq issue), Axis of Eve (a political action
group that opposes Bush), axis of medieval (mockingly criticizes the influence that
Bush’s personal Christian faith has on his political views), asses of evil (a mocking insult
against George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld), axles of evil (denouncing
sport utility vehicles for their poor fuel efficiency), and several other variations. Andrew
Marlatt wrote an extensive parody for SatireWire, with the rule: An axis can’t have more
than three countries.

In the period that followed 9/11, North Korea announced that it had nuclear weapons
and the Iranians struck a deal with the Russian to build nuclear reactors. I most certainly
hope they weren’t planning on using the Chernobyl design.

The nuclear club had started out with a single member, the United States. Stalin wanted
his own nuclear weapons and before you knew it, the Club had grown to 5 members:
US, Britain, France, Russia and China. There was also a secret member, Israel. Then
India and Pakistan joined, making the official membership 7 and unofficial membership
8. South Africa had a program for a while, but who knows what ever became of it? Rus-
sia had the most weapons followed by the US, France, China and the UK. In truth, Isra-
el probably had as many weapons as the United Kingdom, maybe more. India and Pa-
kistan weren’t all that far behind. The only nation in the history of the world to use Nu-
clear weapons was the United States, which did so to end the war with Japan in 1945. It
only took 2, but we had 5 more available, if necessary. In the general scheme of things,
one expects TSHTF Before we get to TEOTWAWKI.

NOTE: THE BELOW IS ALL CONJECTURE – MOSTLY THE LIES OF AN EXTREME

RIGHT-WINGER. THIS NOT TRUE; REPEAT, THIS PAGE DOES NOT REPORT
TRUE MATERIAL. (Wiki’s disclaimer)

TEOTWAWKI

I know this probably sounds like some kind of exotic Tahitian drink or something along
those lines, but it is really something much simpler than that. TEOTWAWKI is some-
thing that is constantly coming up in conversation because it seems that as we speak it
is happening.

3
Just what is TEOTWAWKI? The end of the World as we Know it.

Based on the model that has been given throughout the Bible, it seems that the world is
rapidly coming to an end. The model has been seen through the ages, and many have
wondered exactly how these things would come to pass. Now, with modern technology,
and the current emerging governments, it seems all the clearer that the world is on its
last legs.

To understand this, I believe that it must be understood what is holding back the emer-
gence of the last one world government. In my view there are few factors holding back
the final End-Times scenario from coming to life. Those factors are the United States of
America and the Vatican. The United States as a whole is a holding factor because in
order for the One World Government (OWG) to implement its idea of blurring the inter-
national boundaries and sovereignty, taking total control over the entire personal rights
of its citizens, and the unification and control over the world economy, will go against
the strong sense of national pride, and the firm hold on the idea of individual freedoms
that is prevalent in the United States of America.

Even in the rapidly declining nature of our nation’s morality, economy, and sense of de-
cency, the United States is still not at the stage that it is willing to give up its freedoms,
however abused, to an international government just for the sake of peace. Therefore,
until the US is in dire need of intervention, the OWG will have to bide its time until the
nation is ripe for harvest. The other thing that is standing in the way of the OWG takeo-
ver is the Roman Catholic Church, ironically thought by some to be the OWG itself. As it
stands, the only thing I see that is standing in the way of the European Union’s (EU) to-
tal unification of the European Continent is the Vatican. For the very reasons that are
being described here, Pope John Paul II has been opposed to the idea of the EU and its
unification policies because it has every indicator of being the End-Times government
that is predicted in the bible. When John Paul II finally dies, it is my opinion, that it will
set in motion the following scenario of the end times.

Upon the demise of John Paul II, whether assassination or natural causes, the newly
appointed Pope, whoever is selected, will embrace the EU, and allow it to flourish and
gain total European Control. The next thing will be a secret EU initiated attack on the
Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem, the Jews will claim to have nothing to do with it, as well
they don’t, but the Arabs won’t believe them and will start a war over it, the EU will then
step in, end the war, and make peace everywhere. At this point the world will be ripe for
the harvest and everything will fall into place. I also see a major collapse of the United
States, morally, economically, and a world power, leading the way for a worldwide cri-
sis, that only the Antichrist can fix.

The material on the Wiki website was obviously dated; Pope John Paul II was dead. In-
terestingly, a German had been selected to take his place. Did this mean that Arma-
geddon was just around the corner? Armageddon is ALWAYS just around the corner. In
a world with 10, possibly more, nuclear powers, Armageddon is always just around the
corner. A synonym for OWG is the New World Order. There are a lot of things just

4
around the corner: Yellowstone, the Long Valley Caldera, the highly unstable Pacific
Rim, La Palma, the Big One, hurricanes, tornadoes, and volcanoes everywhere.

La Palma is a stratovolcano, and is the largest of the western Canary Islands. It stretch-
es 21,320’ (6500 m) above the surrounding ocean floor. Two main rock layers separat-
ed by a line about 1400 feet (427 m) above sea level make up La Palma. The lower lay-
er is made of pillow lavas cut by basaltic dikes. The thickness of the pillow lavas range
from 33 to 1,150’ (10 to 350 m). Most of the dikes are located within ~2 miles (3 km) of
the west coast. The upper layer consists of basaltic lavas and pyroclastic rocks. Small
alkalic domes have pushed their way into this area. Strong erosion of the island over
time is shown by hundreds of meters of gravel mixed in with basaltic lava flows. The
oldest volcanic rocks on La Palma are about 3-4 million years of age. The word was the
island was falling apart and a huge rock would fall into the Atlantic sending a wall of wa-
ter to North and South America.

TEOTWAWKI had already happened thousands, if not millions, of times. It is easy to

cite examples, WWI, WW II, the 1960 Chile earthquake, the 2004 Sumatra tsunami and
even the tornado that hit Xenia, Ohio on April 3, 1974 that killed 33, destroyed almost
half of the city’s buildings and made 10,000 homeless. What TEOTWAWKI really
means is when YOUR world goes to hell. Everyone remembers Xenia but few remem-
ber Charles City, Iowa where on May 15, 1968 a F5 tornado hit the northern Iowa com-
munity and wiped out ½ of the 4 mile² town. It was the largest tornado in Iowa history.
Maybe not enough people died, only 13 people lost their lives, although over 450 people
had been injured.

DURHAM, North Carolina (AP) – Three large crosses were burned in separate spots
around the city during a span of just over an hour, and yellow fliers with Ku Klux Klan
sayings were found at one location, police said.

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) – Conflicting reports emerged Thursday from Iraqi officials
about whether they knew insurgent leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi had been wounded.

WASHINGTON (AP) – The CIA is conducting a secretive war game, dubbed Silent
Horizon, this week to practice defending against an electronic assault on the same
scale as the September 11 terrorist attacks.

WASHINGTON – Texas Supreme Court Justice Priscilla Owen won Senate confirma-
tion as a federal appeals judge Wednesday after a ferocious four-year battle, a personal
triumph that also marked a victory for President Bush in his drive to install conservatives
on the nation’s highest courts.

GARDEN GROVE – Three people were injured and at least eight arrested Wednesday
in Garden Grove after a motorist drove into a crowd of 300 demonstrators protesting a
speech by the founder of the Minuteman Project, authorities said.

5
WASHINGTON – Senators continued their long-awaited debate today on John R. Bol-
ton’s hotly contested nomination as UN ambassador, with Democrats leveling a new
charge in a last-ditch effort to defeat him.

LONDON (Reuters) – International travelers should get used to having their fingerprints
taken or their irises scanned because traditional airport security tests are outdated and
open to abuse, a leading US official said on Thursday.

It was simply amazing how much the world changed from 1995 to 2005. The Internet
was a principal form of communication, both hardwire and wireless. The cell phone
phenomenon had hit the world big time and there were probably more cell phones than
landlines. And, the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. The KKK
burning three crosses by in North Carolina? Some folks were just out of step with the
times. This was the age of enlightenment when all men were brothers. Well, maybe not
all of them…

“It is ready.”

“Allah be praised. I told you not to call me at this number.”

“Sorry.”

“What about the others?”

“It will take several days.”

“Send me an encrypted email when they are ready.”

“Jack, what do you make of this intercept?”

“Something is ready and whatever it is there are more than one?”

“Voice print matched the voice to a known Saudi terrorist.”

“Really? Can we track the phone?”

“No. It’s one of those disposable cell phones bought by person or persons unknown.”

“Did we track the location?”

“Only as far as New York City. The call was simply too short.”

6
“I’d better bump this up to a higher level. They could have been talking about anything,
including weapons of mass destruction.”

“Nuclear, biological or chemical?”

“Could be any of the three.”

There is no single, universally accepted definition of terrorism. It is defined by the Code

of Federal Regulations as …the unlawful use of force and violence against persons or
property to intimidate or coerce a government, the civilian population, or any segment
thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives. (28 CFR Section 0.85)

Approximately 641 terrorist incidents occurred in the United States between 1971 and
1975 compared to 272 between 1980 and 1999. Among these attacks were 166 bomb-
ings, 120 fire bombings, and 118 shootings. During the first six months of 1975 alone,
24 attacks occurred in California, 12 in New York, and 11 were directed at targets on
the US Commonwealth of Puerto Rico.

Chemical and biological weapons are sometimes referred to as the poor man’s atom
bomb because unlike nuclear weapons they can be produced cheaply and easily from
basic industrial processes available to any reasonably industrialized state. Chemical
weapons come in a variety of forms, as blister or choking agents that burn skin, eyes or
the respiratory system, or nerve or blood agents that poison the central nervous system
or the victim’s blood. These agents can be delivered as liquids or vapors. Liquids are
sprayed over enemy troops by aircraft or special shells that explode at high altitude and
their contents rain down on their victims. Vapors are suspended in the atmosphere and
can float around as a cloud. Chemical weapons are closely associated with the pesti-
cide industry and it is only a short step to convert most pesticide plants to produce
chemical agents. Recovered documents indicate that al Qaeda had targeted the US wa-
ter supply for contamination with biological and chemical agents.

The decrypted email said, “The project is finished. We are awaiting instructions.”

His encrypted reply was equally short, “Plan 3.”

Plan 1 was Yellowstone and Plan 2 was Long Valley Caldera. Plan 3 was both. All of
the plans called for the simultaneous release of chemical and biological agents into the
atmosphere along with the volcanic ash. Had they been American instead of Saudi, they
probably would have called it a Triple Whammy. It was simply Plan 3. Five nuclear de-
vices were assembled and ready to be armed. Three would be placed in the ground at
Yellowstone and the other two in the ground at the Resurgent Dome at Long Valley cal-
dera. They would be timed to detonate when a strong westerly wind was expected.
Downwind a few hundred miles, the chemical and biological weapons would be activat-
ed a few hours later to add their mix of deadly chemicals and organisms to the ash

7
cloud. As soon as the weapons were in place, the people responsible were planning on
a vacation in México.

“The Department of Homeland Security has evaluated information that leads it to be-
lieve that an attack on the United States is imminent. Accordingly, we are today raising
the Threat Level to Orange.”

“What is the source of that information?”

“I’m not at liberty to say other than it was an intercepted cell phone conversation.”

“How reliable is the information?”

“Reference was made to a project indicating partial completion and final completion
within a week.”

“What were they talking about?”

“We suspect that the reference was to some sort of WMD.”

“In other words, you know very little.”

“We know that there are at least three devices based on the choice of language.”

“What kind of devices?”

“As I told you, we suspect that the reference was to some sort of WMD.”

It wasn’t much for the reporters to go on and all put together a brief report and sent it to
the newsroom for the obligatory announcement of the raising of the threat level. Most
dismissed the threat as another false alarm.

In the 1965 motion picture, In Harm’s Way, Admiral Chester Nimitz says, Well, we all
know the Navy’s never wrong. But in this case, it was a little weak on bein’ right. The
reporters were a lot like the Navy when they concluded that this was another false
alarm. I’ve been racking my brain for years trying to figure out what real life event that
movie was loosely based on. I think I figured it out last night, the Battle of Guadalcanal.
Maybe if I’d read the book… Even Operation Apple Pie bears a starling resemble to the
map of the Guadalcanal operations. The real name of the naval battle at the end was
the Battle of Cape Esperance, originally known as the Second Battle of Savo Island, a
naval battle of the Pacific campaign of World War II, fought on the night of October 11,
1942 at the entrance to the strait between Savo Island and Guadalcanal in the Solomon
Islands.

8
The 5 devices were set to detonate at 0800 MDT on July 4, 2005.

9
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 2 – Which Acronym?

Which acronym would apply when the devices detonated? Would that change a few
hours later when phase 2 and phase 3 activated releasing their chemicals and organ-
isms? July 4, 2005 is only 39 days away as of this writing. Early vacationers will proba-
bly already be in Yellowstone and Long Valley. I guess they’ll get an opportunity to see
the action up close and personal. I pointed out to another author that the scientists sug-
gest that you can’t trigger an earthquake with a nuclear weapon. It remains to be seen
in real life whether you can actually trigger a volcanic eruption. For the sake of his and
my stories, let’s assume the scientists don’t know what they’re talking about, as is fre-
quently the case. All of the things the scientists are talking about happened thousands
or millions of years ago. They are speculating, nothing more. When some fisherman fi-
nally hooks Nessie they’re all going to look like fools anyway.

Around the first of every month, my family lays in it supplies for the next 30 days. If we
have a little extra money, sometimes we buy 6 instead of 4 cans of Folgers and I always
have the wife buy me 5 cartons of Kool’s. Hi there, this is TOM, coming to you from the
fine little community of Palmdale, CA. I’ve been in the area of the Long Valley caldera
back in the early 1960’s but I didn’t know anything about any Caldera. Never been to
Yellowstone, either. Flew over Mt. St. Helen’s in a commercial passenger plane one day
on the way to SeaTac to beat up another non-taxpayer.

I do know that in a genuine emergency you can hold your breath for long enough to get
off a missile test stand filled with Nitrogen Tetroxide (N2O4) fumes. I’ve got masks, but
they aren’t N-95 masks, the wife doesn’t want to spend the money. I also have some
beans and rice for an emergency. Not enough, but that’s beside the point. My .32 auto
is loaded with 8 rounds and I have a loaded spare magazine. Hopefully, I can make a
mile down the road in my electric wheelchair to the Big Five Store in a real emergency.
I’d settle for a bow and arrows if I could still draw a 35# bow, but I don’t have that much
strength anymore. Maybe I can buy a couple of boxes of .32 ammo and get one of
those 20” barrel shotguns they sell. My pal Ron has a lot of guns and if I can’t get one at
Big Five, maybe he’ll loan me one. Do you really think they’d impose the 15-day waiting
period during a real emergency? Yeah, I thought so too. My disability money came in
today and the wife is busy off spending it. I hope she remembers to pay the house pay-
ment; I don’t have a topper for my wheelchair.

“This is far better than the way we entered the country isn’t it?”

“Yes, I scratched my back on the fence and praise be to Allah that it healed.”

“Everything is set, right? All of the timers will go off when planned?”

10
“Yes. It should all work perfectly and there will be no evidence of what started the vol-
canic eruptions. The same cannot be said for the devices to be triggered later, but per-
haps no one will ever find them.”

“We haven’t had any further intercepts from that cell phone?”

“Nope. He could have tossed it and picked up another.”

“The Secretary is pressing about reducing the Threat Level back to Yellow. How much
longer can we keep it at Orange?”

“If it was up to me, we’d have it at Orange all of the time and raise it to Red for 30 days
after every threat.”

“It’s not up to either you or me. I’ll pass it along that we have no new information.”

“The Department of Homeland Security has no further leads to support the possibility
that an attack on the United States is imminent. Accordingly, we are today lowering the
Threat Level to Yellow.”

“False alarm, just like I said,” the reporter told his colleague.

“One of these days they’re going to lower a Threat Level when they really should be
raising it,” his companion replied.

“That will be ok; we can get some really good headlines out of their screw up.”

“Assuming we don’t get killed when it goes down.”

“You can’t really believe that Osama bin Laden has several stolen Russian nukes, can
you?”

“Stranger things have happened. Nobody thought they would slam jets into the WTC
and they’d both collapse.”

“You guys from FOX are all the same, alarmists. You ought to come to work for CNN.”

“I’ve thought about it, but I don’t have to work with Geraldo, very often. I could have
worked with Bernie Shaw, but I don’t think I could work with Wolf. I’m getting out of
Washington and taking another assignment.”

“Where are you going?”

11
“I’ll be working on a Special. It will consider the question of whether the extra pollution
thrown into the air if Yellowstone were to erupt would raise the atmospheric gases to the
point that the Gulf Stream could stop.”

“Sound pretty far-fetched to me. Where are you starting your research?”

“Yellowstone.”

“When?”

“July 5th.”

Jack had argued that it was premature to lower the threat level. (Capitalized refers to
the national status and lower case to the subject in general.) When his boss had made
a slicing motion with his hand and said, “Enough!” he knew to stop pressing. That didn’t
mean that he wouldn’t continue with his preparations. He was bitten by the Y2K bug and
had been preparing continually since 1998. Cindy sometimes looked at him as if he
were crazy; she was more eastern establishment while he was from the Midwest where
tornadoes were a common experience.

John William Casey was born and raised in Kansas. Kansas had lots of tornadoes. His
DOB was March 19, 1971 and after graduating from High School he’d attended Iowa
State University. While there, he’d been recruited into the CIA during his senior year. He
spent a few brief years with the Agency as an analyst, and when Bush appointed Tom
Ridge the Director of Homeland Security, he’d resigned and moved to the new agency
as a mid-level functionary.

Cynthia Elizabeth Reynolds Casey was from New York. She’d attended Brown Universi-
ty and also been recruited as a CIA analyst during her senior year. Her date of birth was
April 16, 1972. She’d met Jack at an Agency function and he’d eventually invited her out
on a date. They’d hit it off and eventually got married in 2000. They were waiting to
have children until a more opportune moment. Her biological clock was ticking, but at
33, she still had a couple of years to start a family. Cindy, by the way, worked on one of
the desks in the Middle East section. Jack had worked on a desk in the section that kept
track of China.

Perhaps it was just Jack’s upbringing but he was very concerned about the possibility of
something happening. He started a program of putting away just a little bit every payday
from back about the time she’d met him. By the time they’d gotten married, Jack had a
lot of preparations even though very little came of the Y2K bug. Cindy suggested to
Jack that he probably had enough stored away. He suggested that she save a similar
amount of money and put it into gold and silver coins, just in case because there was no

12
way he was ever going to stop getting prepared. That was how Cindy got into being the
Gold and Silver Queen, as Jack called her.

They made their home in Vienna, Virginia. It was a very modest three bedroom home
that had a basement and, of all things, a bomb shelter in the backyard. The previous
owner had purchased a prefabricated shelter and had it installed. It had a blast door, air
filtration system and a separate generator in its own little underground shelter. Electrical
service had been rerouted to the generator’s bunker and a 200-amp automatic transfer
switch installed. They didn’t do anything; it was the way the house came.

Jack had moved all of his survival supplies into the shelter and had more in the base-
ment. The previous owner had put in a generator than ran on both natural gas and pro-
pane or LP. The guy must have been a nut, the auxiliary tank held 5,500-gallons and it
was an underground tank so it really contained a full 5,000-gallons. Apparently you had
to leave room for the gas to vaporize.

Cindy would have preferred to store her gold and pre-65 silver coins in a lock box at the
bank, but Jack had insisted that she store them in the small safe the former owner had
welded to the floor of the shelter. To the casual observer, there was nothing visible in
the backyard that would reveal the presence of the shelters, the tank of fuel or the water
tank. Yep, he had one of those too, connected to its own well. He also had the shelter
plumbed to a septic system and there was a cut over valve in the basement that allowed
you to switch the house to the septic system. Another switched the water from city water
to the well. Two manhole covers in the backyard afforded access to the generator and
the well pump. It wasn’t a very big water tank, it didn’t need to be, because there was
standby electricity to power the pump and keep the little tank filled. Water pressure for
the system came from the little tank that had some sort of bladder arrangement.

Jack’s friend, Bruce Jenkins, had been a reporter for FOX and had recently taken a job
with National Geographic to do a study on whether or not Yellowstone erupting could
cause an abrupt climate change. Bruce was divorced and he and his former wife didn’t
have any children. Bruce had gotten very lucky because his former wife had a better job
than he did and he wasn’t stuck with paying alimony. Bruce was about half into the sur-
vival thing, but he lived in an apartment in Washington and there was only so much a
person could do in an apartment, especially in Washington, DC.

The District of Columbia had draconian guns laws. Virginia, by comparison, was fairly
relaxed. They didn’t prohibit you from owning an assault rifle although they had a prohi-
bition against shotguns with folding stocks. As a consequence, Bruce kept his weapons
in Jack’s gun safe; except for his old Colt SAA that he’d inherited from his grandfather
and his Winchester model 94 in .45 Colt that he’d bought to match the SAA. Bruce had
2 other weapons, a HK91A3 and a USP Tactical in .45ACP. The HK91A3 rifle was a
semi-auto 7.62 NATO rifle, retractable stock that was banned from US import in 1989.

13
Bruce had some food stored in Jack and Cindy’s basement but he generally tended to
MRE’s and kept 5 cases in his apartment. He told Jack that in a pinch he could load the
MREs in the trunk of his car and come on down to Vienna. All three of the individuals
had very well thought out bugout bags in their vehicles.

Jack had the same HK91A3 rifle for himself and he’d purchased an AR-15 HBAR for
Cindy after they’d gotten married. Cindy had a Browning Hi-Power, also purchased by
Jack and he had the same USP Tactical as Bruce had. Jack didn’t have any single ac-
tion weapons but he did have 2 shotguns, a 12-gauge and a 20-gauge, both the Re-
mington 870 Express combos. He also had magazine extensions for both shotguns. Fi-
nally, he had 2 Ruger 10/22 rifles with extra 10-shot magazines. Ammo wise, they had
about 4,000 rounds of 7.62×51mm surplus, 2,000 rounds of 5.56×45mm surplus and
1,000 rounds of .45ACP. There were another 500 rounds of 9mm ammo for Cindy’s pis-
tol and 250 rounds each of buckshot and rifled slugs for each of the shotguns. His shot-
gun ammo was Brenneke 3” slugs and Remington 3” 15-pellet 00 Buck, while hers was
2¾” Remington Slugger and 2¾” #3 20-pellet buck. There might be a couple of dozen
bricks of .22LR ammo.

Each pistol was equipped with the largest magazine it could use and there were 6
spares. The 9mm magazines held 15 rounds and the .45ACP held 12. Jack rotated their
magazines weekly, keeping 2 empty and the others filled at all times. The magazines
were numbered in pairs and Jack moved up the line and started over.

“Give me a beer and let’s get those steaks on the grill, I’m hungry,” Bruce said.

“Here you go, when are you leaving for Yellowstone?”

“There isn’t really any rush. I thought that I’d load my survival supplies in the back of my
pickup and take the bigger guns with me so I could get in a little shooting. The firearms
laws aren’t nearly as restrictive in the western states.”

“You start filming on July 5th?”

“Yes, I planned on spending the 4th of July in Jackson and driving to Yellowstone the
morning of the 5th.”

“You’ll fit right in out in the Midwest and near west with that pickup of yours. Whatever
possessed you to get rid of your car and buy a diesel pickup?”

“I did that a little while back when Homeland Security raised the Threat Level to Orange.
What I can’t really understand is that if you guys at Homeland Security had enough to
raise the threat level in the first place why you called it off.”

14
“We had a legitimate threat based on a cell phone intercept. However, the guy with the
phone must have dumped it or gone to another form of communication and we didn’t
get anything that would convince the Secretary that he should keep the Threat Level at
Orange.”

“So what you’re telling me is that the threat level is actually the same as it was before
they reduced the level, right?”

“Going to Orange or Red raises most government costs and the costs for industry as
well. Unless the Secretary is convinced that the perceived threat is imminent, he has to
cut it back because of politics.”

“If I were still a reporter for FOX, I’d have a couple of dozen questions to ask. I wouldn’t,
but I would sure want to.”

“And if you asked them, I wouldn’t answer them. That’s the way it has always been and
that’s the way it will continue. I agree with your decision to take the extra firepower
however. Just because these people fell off the screen doesn’t make what was over-
heard any less legitimate. WMDs include biological and chemical weapons as well. If it
were I, I’d take my protective suit and M40 mask. Those MOPP suits will protect you for
up to 2 weeks.”

“I’ll have to see if I have room in the back of the club cab. Turn the steaks before you
get them too done.”

“Are the steaks about ready?” Cindy asked. “If they are, I’ll get the baked potatoes and
the salads.”

“You fixed mushrooms didn’t you?”

“Of course.”

“The steaks are almost done.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Do you need some help?” Bruce asked.

“You can carry the salads.”

One of the advantages of not having kids and having 2 incomes was that you could af-
ford to buy a 1½” New York Strip once in a while. If you did it just right, you could get
them a perfect medium, which was evenly pink from one side to the other. The secret
was to cook them for a preset time on each side and let them rest to reabsorb the juic-
es. Not everybody in the world likes his or her steaks raw or cooked to death. It either

15
takes a special high-temperature grill or lots of practice to cook a steak to perfect medi-
um. And, don’t forget to let them set to reabsorb the juices!

“The steaks are perfect, are you sure you didn’t work in a restaurant?”

“That’s about 2 years’ worth of practice to get them just right. However, I did work on a
steak grill in a restaurant in Ames, Iowa when I was going to college at ISU. It takes a
while to learn to tell the degree of doneness by the firmness of the meat. The other se-
cret is to have a hot enough fire. Most gas grills don’t get hot enough. That’s why I use
charcoal. Tell us more about the Yellowstone project.”

“A few years ago, a couple of guys named Schwartz and Randall wrote a paper for the
government on the subject of an abrupt climate change. As you know, Yellowstone has
been in the news in recent years because it is past due for another eruption. What the
National Geographic Society is analyzing is whether or not all of these gases and ash
from another super volcanic eruption of Yellowstone could affect the amount of ozone in
the atmosphere.”

“I thought that I heard that if Yellowstone erupted, it would cause a cooling of the north-
ern hemisphere.”

“The ash in the air would block the sunlight, for sure. However, consider all of the gas-
ses that a super eruption would produce. They would have a reverse effect and warm
the atmosphere. The National Geographic is studying what would happen after the ash
settled out and we were left with those extra gasses in the atmosphere. It’s pretty theo-
retical, but it could trigger an abrupt climate change.”

“So the volcano would make it get colder, but later it would get very much warmer and
then it would get very much colder a second time?”

“Something like that, yes.”

“Gee, what a mess that would be Bruce,” Cindy observed.

“We have plenty of time to do the research; I really doubt Yellowstone is due to erupt.
The USGS has an Observatory and they’d tell us if that were going to happen. So,
what’s new on the Middle East desk?”

“You know I can’t talk about it but it’s just more of the same old stuff. Saudi money is
behind all of the trouble but Bush and his pals are in bed with the Saudis. So, the higher
ups in the Agency don’t want to know what is really going on. And, I can’t tell either of
you, especially you, Bruce. They would put me in the slam for telling a media person
anything, even the time of day.”

“What is the time of day?” Bruce kidded.

16
“Four seconds to midnight, but you didn’t hear it from me. You are taking your survival
equipment when you go to Yellowstone, aren’t you?”

“Jack said I should take my MOPP suit and M40 mask. I was already planning on taking
the MREs and my weapons so I could shoot them.”

“Bruce, does that truck of yours have an auxiliary fuel tank?”

“No, it doesn’t why?”

“Since you have a few days before you leave, I’d like to suggest that you add one and
maybe some spare parts like belts, hoses, and maybe a couple of extra tires.”

“I’ll look into it. Hey guys, I hate to eat and run, but there are some things I have to do to
get ready for the trip. Thanks a million for the dinner.”

“You’re welcome. When will you be by again?”

“It will probably be a few days; there are a lot of things I have to do.”

“Ok, you be careful.”

Our 30, 50, and 98-gallon cross-the-bed fuel tank systems operate with Transfer Flow’s
Trax-II. Trax-II is a computer controlled operating system that includes a dash mounted
LCD. The LCD displays the gallons in the main tank, the auxiliary tank, the combined
gallons and the operational status of the fuel systems. Because the transferring of fuel
is automatic, there’s no need for a toggle switch to flip between fuel tanks. Our cross-
the-bed fuel tanks are made from aluminum diamond plate or 14 gauge-aluminized
steel, which is powder coated black. They come with all parts and components needed
for a legal hookup. $1,337.03, not installed.

Bruce’s pickup was a 1996 Dodge with a 6BT Cummins engine. Between what Jack
and Cindy said and didn’t say, he was a little worried about being halfway across the
country for an extended period. He bought one of those toppers to cover the bed of his
pickup. He purchased 4 extra wheels and tires and had them balanced and ready to go.
He put his pickup in the shop and had a second alternator and second battery installed.
He purchased a complete set of belts and hoses and a small toolbox so in a pinch he
could at least change those items.

Bruce signed papers for his wages to be directly deposited to his checking account and
talked to the bank about increasing his ATM withdrawal limit. He managed to get a Gold
Visa Check Card with a $1,000 daily ATM limit and a $2,500 daily POS limit. He left the
minimum amount the bank required in his account. He took the remainder of his money
out of the bank and spent the extra on rolls of silver dimes and quarters, keeping only

17
$1,000 in cash. The coins he bought cost him about $5,000 and only had a face value
of $1,000. They represent about 715 ounces of pure silver. If the price went up while he
was gone, he’d make a little profit. If the price went down, he’d lose a little money. Ei-
ther way, it would be cheap enough for peace of mind. A roll of dimes has a face value
of $5 and a roll of quarters $10. $1,000 = 100 rolls of quarters or 200 rolls of dimes.

Bruce talked to Jack and Jack would give him his shotgun and pickup up a new one,
that Bruce paid for, at the end of the waiting period. Everything was handled through the
dealer so there wouldn’t be any paperwork problems later. Bruce bought a magazine
extension and 500 rounds of 12-gauge ammo. He also bought 2,000 rounds of
7.62×51mm surplus ammo and 500 rounds of .45ACP. He figured that the western guns
were purely for backup and he already had 500 rounds of ammo for them. His Dodge
Ram pickup had a 35-gallon tank and the extra 98-gallons of fuel gave him a cruising
range of well over 1,500 miles, if he took it easy, maybe more. It is 2,080 from Washing-
ton, DC to Jackson, WY. You can make much of the trip on I-80.

Bruce left for Jackson, Wyoming on the morning of June 30, 2005. He didn’t really have
to stop for fuel until he got to Chicago and he putted along at 65mph. Periodically he
stopped to tap a kidney, get something to eat and add some soft drinks to his cooler. He
made the stops as short as possible and lost very little time. Before he knew it the sun
was setting and he was in eastern Indiana. He got a budget motel; this was on him, and
a light dinner. He went back to the room, watched the news on TV and got ready for
bed. CNN was covering the events that they would be telecasting on July 4 th. There
didn’t seem to be much of interest on the news so he shut off the light and went to
sleep.

The following morning, Bruce cleaned up, had breakfast, refueled the pickup and head-
ed west. It was another day of the same with the occasional pit stop to unload and re-
load. The pickup was used but of relatively low mileage. It had the 5.9L Cummins diesel
and a 5 speed manual transmission. Unlike his colleague from CNN, Bruce was slow to
excite. When he did get excited and the adrenalin began to flow, it was almost as if the
whole world slowed down. At the end of the second day he was somewhere in western
Nebraska. He stopped early, unsure of where the next motel was. He took time to fill his
fuel tanks, get dinner and grab a short beer at a local tavern. The name of this town was
Ogallala. He’d come 1,470 miles in 2 days. Bruce still had 610 miles to go to get to
Jackson, Wyoming.

He intended on taking I-80 west to the junction of US 30 and that north to the junction of
US 89, which would get him to Jackson. He’d spend the 4th of July in Jackson and drive
to Yellowstone the following day. He was speculating that it was about 40-50 miles to
the south entrance of Yellowstone Park. What is it they say about the best-laid plans of
men and mice?

18
The following morning, Bruce got back on I-80 after breakfast and headed west. He had
good road until he got to US 30 but after that, he couldn’t be certain. He kept the same
pace as the two previous days because he was getting reasonable mileage from the big
diesel engine. Bruce took US 30 north to Border Junction where he picked up US 89/
State 61. That went north for a while and just north of a little town called Raymond,
jogged west and ran right straight north on the state line. It finally jogged to the west into
Idaho for a few miles. Somewhere along the way 89 became 61 and it continued to a
junction with US 89 just east of the town of Geneva.

There was one hell of an accident at the junction of 61 and 89 and it involved some sort
of hazardous material spill. The Highway Patrol told him he’d have to turn around and
get a motel for the night because it was going to be at least 24 hours before they could
clean up the mess. He ended up back in Border Junction before he could find lodging.
He made a couple of phone calls and told the company about the chemical spill. If they
got the spill cleared, he probably could skip spending a day in Jackson and get to the
Park sometime the morning of the 4th.

“Cindy? Bruce. I’m stuck in a berg called Border Junction due to a chemical spill at the
junction of state 61 and US 89. Is Jack there?”

“How is it going? The pickup giving you any trouble?”

“Drives like a dream Jack. I got to the junction of 61 and US 89 and came upon an acci-
dent. It’s some kind of chemical spill and the Highway Patrol said it was going to take at
least 24 hours to clear. I had hoped to get to Jackson tonight, but that doesn’t seem
likely.”

“Today is only the 2nd; you have plenty of time to get to Yellowstone.”

“Did you pick up the new shotgun?”

“I got it today, thank you. So what are you going to do?”

“What can I do? I’ll have to stay here until we get word that the chemical spill is cleaned
up. Anything new in your neck of the woods?”

“Not at Homeland Security, but Cindy says that the message traffic in Saudi Arabia is
way down.”

“That’s good, lower message traffic means there’s nothing going on, right?”

“She said that sometimes it could be a sign of trouble.”

“If I were you, I’d spend my 4th of July very close to my shelter. I’ll let you go. It looks to
me like they lock this town up at sundown and roll up the sidewalks. I want to get a six
pack in case I can’t get one tomorrow.”

19
“Talk to you later, buddy.”

20
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 3 – Sitting on a Time Bomb

Have you ever spent a weekend in a really little town? Border Junction was where
Bruce thought he was. He wasn’t, he was actually further south, at the Valley Hi Motel
on Hwy 30/89 in the community of Cokeville, WY. He’d driven right through Border
Junction on the way back and had missed it. All he would have had to do was look at
stuff in his room and he would have known where he was. It had been a long, tiring day
and he really wanted a six-pack and a drink if he could find a bar. Miracles of miracles,
the motel had a cocktail lounge. He had a couple of beers, picked up a six-pack and
headed back to the room to watch TV. He couldn’t remember if he ate dinner or not, but
the beer wasn’t getting him drunk, so he must have food in his stomach.

Monday morning, July 4th, brought news that there was a problem clearing the highway
and it would be until at least July 5th before Bruce could resume his trip. He had a hardy
breakfast and looked around town. There really wasn’t much to see, as far as he was
concerned. He topped off his fuel tanks and added 5 24-count cases of bottled water to
the stores in the back of his pickup. That would give him 2 bottles of water for every
MRE, but more importantly, water for when he got to Yellowstone. The service station
where he bought his fuel had a small store where they sold items for truckers. Since he
had at least another 24 hours to kill, he bought a CB radio and an antenna with a mag-
netic mount. Using his tool kit, it took him less than an hour to install the radio. He ran
the antenna wire out the sliding back window and set it in the center of his roof. He also
picked up an emergency road kit with flares and reflectors. His pickup already had a fire
extinguisher and first aid kit. He adjourned to the bar and ordered a draft beer. The only
other person in the bar was a young woman maybe 2 or 3 years younger than he plus
the bartender.

“Hi, my name is Bruce Jenkins. Did you get caught by the traffic accident too?”

“Oh, hi, Bruce. My name is Mona Freeman. No, I was hitching up to Jackson and can’t
seem to get another ride.”

“May I sit?”

“Free county.”

“What’s in Jackson for you Mona?”

“A job. They have a vacancy at one of the grocery stores and I got the job, but I have to
show up for work by 9am on the morning of the 5th, or I could lose it.”

“You could call them and explain what happened. I was supposed to be in Yellowstone
the morning of the 5th. Assuming the highway is open tomorrow, I plan to leave very ear-
ly and try to be at Yellowstone by 9am. I’m going right through Jackson, if that would be
of any help.”

21
“Why thank you. That would sure bail me out. I’ll think about it.”

“If you still want the ride, I’ll be leaving about 6am, assuming the road is open.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I used to work for FOX News in Washington, DC but I just took a job with National Ge-
ographic to narrate for a movie they are making in conjunction with a study. We’re tak-
ing a different look at a Supervolcano eruption.”

“There was just a special on TV about the Supervolcano. Does this have something to
do with that?”

“Not directly, no. There are several things that affect the weather. We will be consider-
ing if an eruption of a Supervolcano could trigger an abrupt climate change.”

“They said it would on the Supervolcano special.”

“True, in so far as it is related to the eruption and the ash in the air. However, we want
to know if that could lead to the Gulf Stream slowing down or stopping once the climate
begins to warm up.”

“We talked about that in Science class back when I was a senior in High School. The
teacher was talking about the Gulf Stream stopping and the possibility that that could
cause a micro or mini ice age. But wouldn’t an eruption halt an abrupt climate change? I
thought the abrupt climate change had to do with rising heat melting the ice and diluting
the ocean. That would cause the Gulf Stream to sink and then stop flowing.”

“That’s the theory, Mona. But what would happen once the air clears from all of the
ash? There would be more harmful gases in the atmosphere.”

“Which would produce heat, melt the ice and stop the ocean current. That’s sounds
pretty interesting.”

“Are you staying here at the motel?”

“I did last night but I only had enough money for the single night.”

“Please don’t think me too presumptuous, but my room has two queen sized beds in it.
You’d be welcome to use the other one.”

“I’ll think about that too, Bruce. What got me in the whole mess was that guy that gave
me the ride expected me to pay for the ride in a manner I hadn’t expected. I told him to
kiss off.”

22
“I assure you that you’d be under no obligation to me for any of it. Are you hungry? How
about we get a burger and fries at the café?”

“Then I’d really be obligated to you.”

“Not in any way that I can think of, you wouldn’t. It’s only a couple of bucks for a burger
and fries; I won’t miss a couple of bucks.”

“Well…”

“That will be $2 for the beer, miss,” the bartender advised.

“The beer is on me. We’re going to go get something to eat.”

Mona was a brunette maybe 23-24 years old and about 3 inches shorter than Bruce.
She had what Bruce would call an average figure, certainly not pudgy or large chested.
Her hair was shoulder length and she’d obviously brushed it extensively to get the
sheen. She gave in and they went to the café to get a little lunch. This was one hell of a
way to spend the 4th of July. But at least he’d met someone about his age with whom he
could hold an intelligent conversation. They had lunch and Mona agreed to spend the
night using the other bed. While Bruce wasn’t opposed to casual sex, it wouldn’t be right
of him, in his opinion, to take advantage of someone who was down on her luck.

Bruce wasn’t really a TV person and while Mona watched movies on TV, he spent some
time going over the material that the National Geographic Channel had provided for him
to study before he started the assignment. Presumably that was the following day and
he still had 30-40 pages of material to read. The next thing he knew it was time for sup-
per and he suggested to Mona that they get a decent meal tonight because the café
might not be open in the morning before they had to leave.

Mona had noticed the material that Bruce was studying and some of it pertained to Yel-
lowstone and some to abrupt climate changes. That merely supported what he’d told
her about why he was going to Yellowstone. About the only thing that Bruce had said
when they got to the motel room was that there were soft drinks in the cooler. They had
the house special at the café and returned to the room. Bruce indicated that he wanted
to listen to the news if she didn’t mind delaying starting another movie.

The only stuff on the news was coverage of some 4th of July festivities and Bruce
seemed to be looking for some particular news item, which he never heard. Bruce used
the shower and came out dressed in a baggy pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Mona
went next and dressed in her most conservative nightgown, the one her mother called
her granny gown. They watched a little more TV and Bruce put in a request for a
wakeup call at 5am. They turned off the lights and went to bed, in separate beds. Bruce
was sound asleep in a few minutes and she noticed that he didn’t snore.

23
The ringing telephone jolted them awake at 5am. Mona used the bathroom and while
Bruce was using it, she laid out her clothes. Bruce was fully dressed when he came out
of the bathroom and she went to brush her teeth, freshen up a little and get dressed in
her work clothes, a white blouse and a navy blue skirt. The front desk at the motel said
the road was finally open and they left for Jackson about 6:45am.

At 8 am they were still 90 minutes out of Jackson and the nuclear devices planted by
the terrorists detonated right on time. There was an extremely bright flash of light fol-
lowed shortly thereafter by ground motion that they could feel in the cab of the pickup.
Bruce pulled to the side of the road and got out to survey the scene to their north, the
direction the flash had come from. Ash could be seen rising from Yellowstone and it was
nearly 100 miles away.

“I think that was a nuclear detonation, Mona. I’m turning this pickup around and travel-
ing south as fast as we can safely move. If I’m wrong, I’ll take the time to explain it to
your new boss. Hang on while I make a phone call.” Bruce hit the speed dial and called
Jack at his office at Homeland Security.

“Jack? Bruce. I was about 75 miles south of Jackson when I saw what appeared to be a
nuclear explosion further north. We’ve had some seismic activity. I turned around and
am heading south as fast as I can safely travel. Check with the USGS and find out what
is happening here.”

“I’ll get right on it Bruce. Thanks for the heads up. Can I reach you at your cell phone
number?”

“As long as I’m within the range of a tower, yes. I’m headed to I-80 and then east as fast
as I can get this pickup going.”

“I’ll get back to you.”

You may recall that I said the bombs were set to detonate at 8am on July 4 th. They had
been intended to detonate on Independence Day but the terrorist’s watch was set to the
wrong date. Consequently while the biological and chemical weapons had been deto-
nated layer on July 4th, the bombs didn’t go off until 8am on July 5th. The same individ-
ual had set the timers on all 5 weapons and they went off right on schedule, albeit one
day late.

“Where are we going and why are we going so fast Bruce? You’re frightening me,” Mo-
na explained.

“Mona, you heard what I told my friend Jack. Jack is with the Department of Homeland
Security and his wife works for the CIA as an analyst. You might remember that DHS

24
issued a threat warning and increased the Threat Level to Orange a while back. That
was based on a phone intercept. I called Jack and talked to him the other day. He told
me that Saudi Arabia was very quiet at the moment, perhaps too quiet.”

Ring…

“Bruce Jenkins.”

“Bruce, its Jack. Cheyenne Mountain confirmed 3 nuclear detonations at Yellowstone

and 2 in the Long Valley Caldera in California. The County is now at Red and the Presi-
dent ordered us up to DEFCON 2. You know the drill, so you get as far away from Yel-
lowstone as possible.”

“Hold on a minute.”

“Mona, there were 3 nuclear detonations at Yellowstone and 2 in California in the area
of the Long Valley Caldera.”

“I’m back.”

“USGS confirms that there will be explosive eruptions in both calderas very soon. How
far south can you get?”

“I can get to I-80 and turn east in about 30 minutes.”

“When you get to I-80, only take it as far east as US 191. Take 191 south to Verrial.
Pick up US 40 there and take it to US 84 in a town named Dinosaur. Go south to I-70
and take it east to I-25 in Denver and then go south to Albuquerque.”

“Why not continue on I-80? I have plenty of fuel and can go like a bat out of hell?”

“Some biological and chemical weapons were released in Nebraska. If you go east on I-
80, you’ll drive right into them”

“Ok. Once I get to Albuquerque, what then?”

“Top off your fuel if you can and head east on I-40, pedal to the metal. I’ve got to go
Bruce; I’ll try and call you back when I have more news.”

“Mona, Jack says that the crap hit the fan in a major way. Biological and chemical
weapons were released in Nebraska. He wants me to go to Albuquerque.”

“Atom bombs? Biological and Chemical weapons? Are you nuts? Who would do such a
thing?”

“Osama bin Laden, for one.”

25
“But, what about my job in Jackson?”

“Mona if the Supervolcano erupts, there probably won’t be any Jackson. Stick with me
and we’ll get to Washington. DC. As soon as we have word of what’s going down in
Jackson, we’ll fly you back, if it’s still there and the store is still standing. I know a guy in
Albuquerque who can supply you with a MOPP suit and a M40 mask. I have everything
else we need aboard the truck.”

“Bruce, I’m just a small town farm girl from central Nebraska. And you’re telling Nebras-
ka is involved? I really should try to get to my parents’ home.”

“Jack said he’d try and call back. What town in Nebraska?”

“Aurora. It’s on US 34 which is on the north side of I-80 a little east of Grand Island.”

“I’ll ask, but until we know, do you want to stick with me or do you want me to drop you
off somewhere along the way?”

“I’ll stick for now, I guess.”

“Smart answer. I have to make another call.” Bruce speed dialed another number on his
cell phone.

“Barney? Bruce Jenkins. Oh, I’m in Wyoming headed for you. I need a MOPP Suit and
an M40 mask; do you have any in stock? Really. We’ll she’s about 5’8” tall, with a rea-
sonably slender build. Oh, I’d guess in the 23 to 25 range. You do? Great. I can give
you my Visa Check Card number and you can run it thought as a debit. I have no idea,
maybe about 6 hours. Look, someone set off nukes at Yellowstone and the Long Valley
Caldera in California. They also set off biological and chemical weapons in Nebraska.
You did? What communities were involved? Really? Ok, see you in a few hours.”

“What did he say about Nebraska?”

“The stuff was released in the area of North Platt along I-80.”

“That’s about 95 miles west of Aurora.”

“He said they evacuated some people from the areas to the east, so if you did go home,
your parents probably wouldn’t be there and you’d get exposed to biologics and chemi-
cals. Later, you’d get a dose of ash if Yellowstone really erupts as a Supervolcano.”

“And your friend has some kind of suit for me and a gas mask?”

26
“They’re called MOPP suits. MOPP is an acronym for Mission Oriented Protective Pos-
ture. MOPP is being replaced by the Joint Service Lightweight Integrated Suit Technol-
ogy or JSLIST. He has everything in your size.”

“Are they expensive?”

“Say $500 for a suit, mask and an extra filter. Not really when you compare that to the
value of a human life.”

“Why are they replacing the MOPP suits?”

“People tend to overheat when they wear them. That’s been a real problem in Iraq.”

Ring…

“This is Bruce. Really? We’re just turning eastbound onto I-80. I have someone with me
and I called Barney. He has a M40 and JSLIST that will fit her. Mona Freeman. I don’t
know I’ll have to ask.”

Mona, same as the actress? Do you have any firearms?”

“She’s shaking her head no. Could you call Barney back and see if he can equip Mona
with the Hi-Power and the AR? Great, thanks. I’ll call you when we get there.”

“I get asked a lot.”

“Until Jack asked, it never occurred to me that your name was the same as that of an
actress.”

“You’re probably not really old enough to remember her Bruce. I think her last role was
in 1972.”

“I was born in 1974, February 8th.

“I was born on July 5, 1980.”

“Well, Happy Birthday Mona.”

“Yeah huh. Some birthday present.”

“Jack said that both calderas were swarming and it could happen at any time. What we
saw wasn’t anywhere near a full eruption. I asked Jack to call Barney back and get a
Browning Hi-Power pistol and Colt AR-15 HBAR rifle. It will have to do as a birthday
present until I can get you flowers.”

“I’ve shot a Ruger Mini-14 before.”

27
“Same caliber, different weapon. This will be the civilian version of the M16 rifle the
troops use. You said you shot the Mini-14, anything else?”

“.22 rifle, .410 shotgun and my father’s .38.”

“Are you opposed to using a weapon in self-defense?”

“If you mean shoot someone, I don’t know if I could. I suppose it would depend on the
circumstances.”

“Let explain some acronyms. TEOTWAWKI means the end of the world, as we know it;
TEOCAWKI means the end of civilization as we know it; TSHTF means the stuff hit the
fan; and, FUBAR means fouled up beyond all reason. There are others and I tend to
use them when I’m pressed for time.”

“You cleaned them up. I know what they really mean, Bruce. Are you married or single?
I didn’t notice a ring line.”

“Divorced, actually; no kids that I know of.”

“You’re awfully young to be married and divorced.”

“We’re still friends in a distant sort of way. We were simply incompatible, or maybe it
was our careers that didn’t mesh.”

Two hours later found Bruce and Mona in Colorado just south of Grand Junction. Bruce
was familiar with I-70 and had decided that he wasn’t going to take it. The last place he
wanted to go to was Denver, especially during an emergency. He was going to pick up
US 50 and take it to Pueblo. He’d get on I-25 in Pueblo and put the pedal to the metal to
get to Albuquerque and Barney’s place. Mona asked him why he was going to I-25
when the road they were on went to Albuquerque. Well why not? US 550 went to Albu-
querque and it would cut their travel time, if only a little. Smart, too, but could she cook?

Back in Washington, Cindy called Jack to tell him that there was now a flurry of mes-
sage traffic coming out of Saudi Arabia. Jack went to his manager and shared the in-
formation. He suggested that with 5 nuclear blasts and the biological and chemical
weapons releases, the US had probably experienced a major terrorist attack. He also
mentioned the pattern of message traffic in Saudi Arabia. His manager raised his brows
and looked in the general direction of the White House, then shook his head. He’d pass
it on, he said.

Jack tried to call Bruce back but couldn’t get a cell connection. He had called Barney
Owens in Albuquerque and told Barney that Bruce also wanted a Hi-Power and an AR-

28
15 HBAR. He’d probably also want some LBE and extra magazines for the weapons.
Get him a total of 13 30-round mags for the rifle and 7 15-round mags for the pistol plus
1,000 rounds of 5.56×45mm and 500 rounds of 9mm +P HP. Barney asked the latest on
Yellowstone and Jack told him that it was going to go at any minute; the USGS had is-
sued a red alert. He also pointed out that the President had ordered all of the nuclear
generating stations shut down temporarily and if he hadn’t already lost power, he prob-
ably would.

Over at the Agency, Cindy was methodically going through the message traffic looking
for clues about who might be behind the terrorist attack. It was becoming rather appar-
ent that the House of Saud was up to its neck in the events. She and her coworkers be-
gan to assemble what, from their viewpoint, was absolute proof of the Saudi govern-
ment’s involvement. It might not make any difference when it got to the White House, if
it got to the White House.

Yellowstone let loose about the time Bruce and Mona hit Durango, Colorado. Bruce and
Mona were in a restaurant getting a quick bite. He’d already topped of his diesel tanks
and had added soft drinks to the cooler. They’d detoured to a store so Mona could pick
up some personal items and were almost done eating when the ground began shaking.

“Whoa. This is like riding a bucking horse.”

“Did you ever ride a horse Bruce?”

“Well no, but it’s close to what I always imagined it would be.”

“You aren’t going to need to make the study at Yellowstone,” Mona said. “All you’re go-
ing to need to do now in record your observations.”

“Assuming I still have a job when this is all over. We’d better get back on the road.
We’re still about 215 miles from Albuquerque. Barney lives in Rio Rancho, a suburb.”

29
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 4 – Rushing for Cover

We didn’t really feel much in Palmdale. But when we heard the news, we headed to
Costco to load up on smokes, beans, rice and toilet paper. We stopped by Desert Storm
and I got a couple of boxes of .32 auto ammo. Sandy said there was no way she could
cut the waiting period but if I wanted to buy a used shotgun, her personal gun, she’d
help me out. It was a Remington 870, so we made a deal. I bought 250 rounds of tacti-
cal buck and slugs mixed. The gun was new and still in the box, but who was I to ar-
gue? Especially with a woman wearing a loaded gun.

On the way back from Costco, I asked Sharon how much money was in the Iowa ac-
count. There was over 3 grand and I asked if we could stop at Desert Storm a second
time so I could see if she had any other personal weapons for sale. Under the circum-
stances, Sharon reluctantly agreed. Sandy had a used Mini-14 in her personal collection
she’d sell me. I’d seen that rifle before! I got the whole 9 yards with my 10 blued 30-
round magazines. Somebody made one hell of a profit on my old Mini-14 with the Butler
Creek folding stock and flashhider. Sandy had some .223 surplus ammo and I bought
one case. Ron had a ton of the stuff if I ran out.

It was about 2:30pm when Bruce pulled up and parked the pickup at Barney’s house.
They went in and Bruce made introductions. Barney winked at him and gave a little nod.
He fitted Mona with the Battledress Overgarments, the ‘official’ name for the MOPP
suits and a M40 gas mask. He had a pistol belt, leather flap holster, harness, 4 maga-
zine pouches for M16 mags and 3 mag pouches that each held a pair of 15 round
Browning mags. All of the magazines were loaded and the remainder of the ammo was
in the boxes. Barney threw in a pair of GI canteens, a canteen stove and cup. Bruce al-
so bought Mona a KaBar knife. Bruce gave Barney his Check Card number and signed
the charge slip. By 3:30pm they were eastbound on I-40. This was New Mexico and
they were going like a bat out of hell. Maybe they would top off and slow down once
they got to Amarillo. Maybe even get a motel and a little sleep.

They got a motel on the east side of Amarillo and found a fast food joint to get a little
food. They were exhausted and basically dropped into bed too tired to even think. The
next thing they knew, sunlight was coming in the window.

“Go ahead and get cleaned up and I’ll go up to the office and see if they have comple-
mentary coffee,” Bruce suggested. “We need to go shopping at that Wal-Mart super
store we passed. You’re going to need something better for your feet and we ought to
get some camping equipment and some groceries, just in case.”

“Ok. If they have any rolls or anything, I’m famished.”

Bruce got 4 cups of coffee and 4 muffins. He ate while Mona finished with the bathroom
and when she was done, he got a shower, shaved and dressed in clean jeans and a

30
western cut shirt. He dug his grandfather’s old SAA out of the pickup and strapped it on.
They got some breakfast at a pancake house and then went to Wal-Mart. Bruce bought
a propane stove, accessory hose, 2 5-gallon bottles of propane, a lamppost and a pro-
pane lamp. He also bought 2 sleeping bags, 2 sleeping pads, a small tent and a porta-
ble toilet. To this they added cooking utensils, dishes and silverware. He helped Mona
pick out a pair of work boots and they got some spam, coffee, canned meals, e.g.
stews, etc., and macaroni and cheese. Everything went into the back of the pickup and
by 10am they were headed east on I-40. Oh, and he bought a Stetson hat.

I-40 continues east and goes through Oklahoma City, Little Rock, Memphis, Nashville
and Knoxville. East of Knoxville, a person can pick up I-81 and take it the remainder of
the way to Washington, DC. I-40 ends up in North Carolina. Bruce tried to keep his fuel
tanks topped off and never get below 60 gallons. They no longer needed to hurry quite
so fast and if they couldn’t find a motel, they could always go camping. He hadn’t heard
back from Jack and couldn’t seem to get his cell phone to hook up with a tower along
the way.

When President Bush ordered the nuclear power plants to shut down, it slowly over-
loaded the grid and the utility companies stopped providing electricity before the short-
ages brought the entire grid down. At their house in Vienna, the generator kicked in
when Jack and Cindy lost power. Neither of them was home, they were working double
shifts at their jobs. Bush had gone on TV and blamed the problems on al Qaeda and
Osama bin Laden. From Cindy’s point of view, at least he had the nationality right. Be-
cause of the Red Threat Level, all aircraft were grounded. Jack had been unable to
reach Bruce on his cell phone and he called Barney. Barney told him they had been
there and picked up the gear. Bruce, he told Jack, had a real winner there in the woman
he found in Wyoming. She was 5’8, maybe 120 pounds, nice figure but not extreme,
and very pretty. Mona had shoulder-length brown hair. Obviously Barney was smitten
with the woman.

Jack gave Cindy a call and brought her up to speed on Bruce. Cindy told Jack that they
had been able to establish a positive connection between the Saudi government and
the events of July 4th and 5th. The DCI was going to confront the President about his
unwillingness to hold the Saudis accountable for their behavior. She said she was sure
that sparks would fly when the DCI laid it all out for the President. She didn’t know that
anything else would fly, implying the B-2 bombers, but crap was going to hit the fan at
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

The President listened to everything the DCI had to say. And then, George asked for his
resignation. Some people can’t accept the truth. There was no way that the US was go-
ing to drop neutron bombs on the Saudis. The DCI thought it over and declined to re-
sign. Bush told him that he’d given him the job and could fire him, if necessary. The DCI
assured the President that if he was fired there was sure to be a Congressional Investi-
gation, maybe several. Surely the President knew how the Congress was always leak-
ing things to the media. The operative word is impasse.

31
Does the US really have a so-called neutron bomb? Historically, the US built several.
They used the term ER, as in enhanced radiation for the neutron bomb. The concept
behind the neutron bomb was that while it only gave off a small nuclear explosion, it
produced vast quantities of radiation that would kill people without destroying property.
All of the ER weapons are listed in the historical weapons section, but hell, the Israelis
don’t have any nuclear weapons, officially. The US built 380 W-70 warheads and 325
W-79 artillery shells. If we still did have neutron bombs, maybe they were variations of
the W-83.

“Hey, Jack, Mona and I are in Little Rock. What’s the situation around the country?”

“Not good, buddy. The USGS is speculating that Yellowstone will go 2,000km³ and that
Long Valley could go as high as 750km³. To make matters worse, according to CDC,
the biological agent they released is something that’s been engineered and they’re go-
ing to have to start from scratch to try and develop some kind of vaccine. The chemical
weapon wasn’t anything special, Sarin. Barney tells me that Mona is quite the looker. I
think he’s in love.”

“What’s new on the Middle East?”

“The DCI confronted Bush about it. He still has his job, but I can’t tell you anything more
than that. Cindy says that there is absolutely no doubt about the Saudi connection.”

“DHS contains FEMA, how are they handling this?”

“If you can spell ass and alligators, you have a minimum of understanding. At the mo-
ment, they’re overwhelmed and aren’t sure where to start. Talk is that they will start at
the outer edges and work their way in.”

“That’s the opposite of what they should be doing. They need to get as close as possi-
ble to the epicenters and work their way out, not the other way around.”

“When Mona and you get to Washington, go directly to the house. All of the power is out
and you don’t want to be in Washington with the electricity gone.”

“Figure 2 more days. Mona is waving so I suppose that means she wants me to say hi.
I’d better go. See you in a couple of days.”

To this point, Bruce and Mona had managed to keep in front of the people fleeing from
the eruption. They were beat and had to get a good night’s rest. Over the course of the
evening and night, the crowds of refugees caught up with them. Bruce had topped off
again immediately upon arriving in Little Rock. In the morning they weren’t able to get
anywhere near a restaurant to get breakfast. They made do with the coffee the motel
provided and left fairly early.

32
I’ve already given you their route for the remainder of the trip to Washington. The dis-
tance was 1010 miles and the estimated travel time was slightly over 16 hours, accord-
ing to MSN Maps and Directions. Sixteen hours from 6am would see them in Washing-
ton by 10pm, Little Rock time, not allowing for stops. They talked it over and decided to
push straight through to Vienna, Virginia. Along the way, Bruce filled her in on every-
thing he knew about the situation and told Mona a little about Jack and Cindy.

“Jack is originally from Kansas. During his senior year at ISU, the CIA recruited him.
When they formed Homeland Security and Bush got Ridge, Jack resigned and went
with DHS. He was on the China desk at the Agency and now they coordinate various
intelligence sources to estimate the probabilities of a terrorist action.”

“He sure missed this one.”

“Actually he didn’t. They called it and that’s when the country went to Orange. However,
they didn’t get any further intercepts so politics got involved and they reduced back to
Yellow over his objections. They have this house in Vienna, Virginia you won’t believe. It
even has a bomb shelter in the backyard. Their standby generator is running on natural
gas so far but if they lose that, they can run quite a while on propane.”

“Can their whole home run on propane?”

“He’d have to change the jets in several appliances, but he has the parts, so I’d guess it
could.”

“Where do you live?”

“In an apartment in DC. Because I was going to be on the road for a while, I stripped it
of food, cleaned the refrigerator and left it empty.”

“It is just a thought, but maybe you’d be wise to stop at a grocery store and buy more
food supplies.”

“The apartment would be nearly uninhabitable in July in DC without air conditioning.

And with no electricity, that means the refrigerator won’t run either. I think maybe we’ll
pass on the food for now, Mona. After we get to Jack and Cindy’s we can think about
going shopping for food. They have more than enough for any kind of emergency.”

“Wouldn’t Washington be on the top of other countries nuclear target list?”

“I’d imagine it would. Jack would have said something if there were any immediate
threat for a nuclear war.”

“Well, what do you call 5 atom bombs going off and causing the eruptions? Ping pong?”

33
“I call it a terrorist act. A war is basically defined as occurring between two or more
countries. Al Qaeda doesn’t represent any particular country, only an ideal.”

“Pretty sick ideal, if you ask me.”

“I’ll grant you that. Do you want to stop and eat or should we just keep going?”

“I can get by with a potty break.”

“We have the stuff we bought in Amarillo and there are 5 cases of MRE’s in the back of
the truck. Let me know if you get hungry.”

Mona went to the ladies room at the service station and Bruce topped off the tanks. The
station had cold sandwiches in their mini-mart and he bought 4 plus some chips and 6-
paks of Coke Classic and of Diet Coke. (If you don’t like Coke, write your own story. We
Yankees can’t stand that sweet stuff you Rebs seem to favor. Ron likes sweet tea, but
he uses Sweet and Low and it’s enough to make you urp.)

“I picked up some sandwiches. There is tuna, roast beef, turkey and chicken.”

“I’ll take the tuna, what do you want?”

“Uh, give me the roast beef, please.”

“So what is Cindy like?”

“About your size, maybe a tiny bit heavier and a little fuller in the chest, not much,
though. She has long red hair that goes to the middle of her back. They’ve been waiting
to start a family, but Cindy is 33 so she’s going to have to start soon. She is from New
York State and went to Brown University. The Agency hired her during her senior year,
too.”

“And she is on the Middle East desk?”

“One of many. She learned some of their languages while she was in college.”

“What’s going to happen to the country now?”

“Jack said that FEMA didn’t quite know where to start. The first order of business will be
rescues. The second order of business will be getting the electricity back up and run-
ning. There isn’t really a problem, the President ordered the reactors shut down and
they will have to be brought back online before they can bring up the rest of the grid.”

“How long will that take?”

34
“Probably a few days, at most. It was essentially an orderly shutdown so they shouldn’t
have any problems bringing it back up.”

“Oh, diet coke. Helping me keep my girlish figure?”

“You’re 25 Mona and I’m 31. From my perspective, you are somewhat of a little girl, no
offense.”

(Wait wait for me wait wait for me

Johnny wait for me)

When I first met her she was only three

And I remember how she followed me
She was always getting in my way

REFRAIN

And I still yes I still can hear her say

(Wait for me wait for me Johnny please wait for me
I love you more than I can hardly stand
Wait for me wait for me Johnny please wait for me
I’ll grow up just as fast as I can
Wait for me wait for me wait for me wait for me)

As we grew older she would always wait

She’d wait for me by the schoolyard gate
I would yell at her to go away

REFRAIN

And now we’re grown up but she didn’t wait

And I’m in love with her but it’s too late
She just married someone else today

REFRAIN

Johnny, wait for me!

(fade out repeating “wait for me”)

Remember that one? Conway Twitty, Don’t Cry Joni.

“You have a nice singing voice, but I don’t remember that song.”

“My Dad loved it. I think it was from 1975.”

“Was there a point to singing if for me or did you just remember it?”

35
“Six years isn’t very much of an age difference, Bruce.”

“Slow down, Mona, we just met. I am very impressed with you; I’ll have to admit. You
are extremely attractive. At the moment, I am trying on concentrating on getting us to
DC in one piece.”

“What was she like?”

“She? Who do you mean?”

“Your first wife.”

“Nothing like you. Perhaps a bit over-confident, but not arrogant; extremely independ-
ent, a bit of a feminist; and, attractive, but not overly so. My Dad liked a song by Mac
Davis, called Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble.” (The Ron & Gary Theme Song!)

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

when you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
but I’m doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend

but she just couldn’t compete
with all of these love-starved women
who keep clamoring at my feet.

Well I prob’ly could find me another

but I guess they’re all in awe of me.
Who cares, I never get lonesome
cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

when you’re perfect in every way,
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
but I’m doing the best that I can.

36
I guess you could say I’m a loner,
a cowboy outlaw tough and proud.
I could have lots of friends if I want to
but then I wouldn’t stand out from the crowd.

Some folks say that I’m egotistical.

Hell, I don’t even know what that means.
I guess it has something to do with the way that I
fill out my skin-tight blue jeans.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

when you’re perfect in every way,
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
but I’m doing the best that I can.

We’re doing the best that we can…

Bruce had just described the man a woman would end up with if she fell victim to the
Chinese curse, May you live in interesting times. His former wife wasn’t a bad person;
she just wasn’t a REAL trigger tripper like Mona was. He didn’t want to say too much so
soon after meeting Mona. Divorce is generally always painful even if it is amicable and
neither party hates the other. It probably has to do with a sense of failure. Why couldn’t
we make it work? If it wasn’t meant to be, why did we marry in the first place? The sec-
ond time around, a person pauses to think about what he or she is doing. Sometimes.
Most couples, whose marriage didn’t last 5 years, probably shouldn’t have gotten mar-
ried in the first place.

“Qué sera, sera,” Bruce said. The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)

They stopped for dinner shortly after crossing into Virginia. Bruce’s cell phone was
working and he called Jack at home.

“Cindy? Bruce. Mona and I are having dinner in Virginia. I think we’ll be in by midnight.”

“Have you had any trouble getting here, Bruce?”

“We’ve mostly stayed ahead of the people. There aren’t nearly so many this far east.”

“Bruce, Jack on the other extension. What time will you be in?”

37
“Probably by midnight, maybe earlier, is there a problem?”

“Possibly, but if you’re going to be here tonight, it will be ok.”

11:15pm, Vienna, Virginia…

“Here we are,” Bruce said as he pulled into Jack and Cindy’s driveway.

“Hmm, I guess I was expecting something different.”

“Let’s get your bags out of the back and get into the house. I’m dying to know why Jack
sounded so concerned.”

“You must be Mona, I’m Cindy. Jack, there’s nothing wrong with Barney’s eyes.”

“Hi, Mona I’m Jack. Come in and take a load off. I agree, Cindy.”

“So why the mystery, Jack?”

“DCI went to the House and Senate. The Congress has pressured the President, telling
him that he doesn’t react against the Saudis, they’ll pull all funding for Iraq.”

“So?”

“A single B-2 took off from Whiteman AFB earlier this evening. It’s carrying 16 En-
hanced Radiation W-70 bombs.”

“So we do have neutron bombs, huh? I figured they’d be the W-83s.”

“Nope, modified W-70 warheads.”

“Has Bush said anything to the public about this?”

“He’s going to have complete deniability.”

“If that’s the case, they’ll probably end up blaming the Israelis.”

“That, my friend, is very possible.”

38
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 5 – Watching the News

…and looking for information about a bombing attack in Saudi Arabia. Remember all of
the Executive Orders I mentioned in The Cold War? There wasn’t going to be any news
about any bombing attack in Saudi Arabia, at least, not until January 20th of 2009. If
you pretend long enough that something never happened, maybe it didn’t. Or, maybe it
was the Russians or the Israelis. The Russians had neutron bombs and nobody really
knew WHAT the Israelis had. The US had dismantled its neutron bombs in the 1990s,
according to Global Security. And, I’ve got some ocean front property in Arizona. EO
10995 allows the government to seize and control the communication media.

“They had to have dropped those bombs by now, why isn’t their anything on the news?”

“Media Blackout, Bruce. EO 10995.”

“What about the 1st Amendment?”

“It’s gagged by National Security requirements.”

“I don’t mean to push the issue, but what National Security requirements, Jack?”

“The National Security requirements are whatever the President says they are, Bruce.
That’s the way it’s always been and will probably always be.”

“That stinks!”

“Tell me about it. No don’t, it’s only an expression.”

“I think the US is going to take the blame for Saudi Arabia, regardless. How many of
those ER W-70’s do we have anyway?”

“I didn’t think we had any. It would be impossible to speculate. Probably more than any-
one thinks. They had around 300 of each of the models. I wouldn’t be shocked to learn
that we still have at least 300, maybe more. There are 2 versions of the W-61 that I’m
aware of, the .3kt to 350kt device carried by the F-15, F-16, F-18 and the Tornado.
There is also the 10kt to 350kt device carried by the B-52 and the B-2s. What is to say
that a B-2 can’t carry the fighter version? There are about 1,290 of the fighter versions
and 525 of the bomber versions, minus 16 of one of the types.”

“All with adjustable yields?”

“Yep.”

“Crap.”

“Yep.”

39
“What is FEMA doing about the eruptions?”

“They finally figured out to start as close to the calderas as possible and work their way
out.”

“Any word on Jackson?”

“They can’t get that close yet.”

“Did you see what you could find out about Mona’s parents?”

“Bruce, it is simply too early. I put out a feeler, but they don’t have complete survivors
lists yet and won’t for a while. That evacuation was total chaos. But, apparently they did
completely evacuate Aurora, Nebraska.”

“That’s something.”

“Right, but one of the Blackhawks they used in the evacuation went down with no survi-
vors. They haven’t identified the bodies yet.”

“So Mona could have lost one or both of her parents.”

“Exactly.”

“Crap.”

“Exactly.”

“Any more good news?”

“Barney said that if you didn’t marry Mona, he’d propose himself.”

“How is Barney?”

“Covered in ash. You can sweep the stuff off, but it is very gritty and abrades everything
it comes in contract with when you do. The best way is to hose it off, but when you add
water, it absorbs the water and becomes 10 times heavier.”

“These are spectacular sunsets we’ve been having. But, I noticed the temperature is
dropping. When are the lights coming back on?”

“Later, rather than sooner; no one expected the lightning would take out so many power
lines. At least you have first-hand material for your National Geographic study.”

40
“They’ve suspended the project until the electricity is back on. I guess that I’m temporar-
ily out of a job.”

“You could always go back to FOX or go to work for CNN.”

“Maybe I’ll try the local TV stations.”

“Wee, look at me, I’m a working woman,” Mona announced.

“Where did you get a job, Mona?” Jack asked.

“The Safeway store at 225 Maple Avenue East here in Vienna.”

“I was just telling Jack that it appears I’m out of work.”

“What happened to the study?”

“Suspended until the lights are back on. How is Safeway operating?”

“They put in a standby generator before all of this happened.”

“I was saying something to Jack about talking to the local TV stations about a job.”

“Bruce, there are no local media outlets in Vienna. I was just about to tell you that when
Mona came in.”

“Curses, foiled again.”

In case any of you watch NCIS on CBS and wonder why Sasha Alexander got killed,
here’s what happened in real life. Sasha got into an argument with writer/executive pro-
ducer/director Donald P. Bellisario. He didn’t renew her contract. JAG is gone, but NCIS
was a spin-off and Ron’s son John is now a guard on NCIS.

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) – Ignoring pleas from police negotiators to surrender to au-
thorities, a suspect in a Florida slaying on Friday remained atop an 18-story construc-
tion crane for nearly a third day. Anyone ever heard of a sniper?

(CNN) – Saudi Arabia’s King Fahd – the leader of the world’s largest oil-producing na-
tion – was doing “well” late Friday after being hospitalized earlier in the day, the official
Saudi Press Agency said. Well, he was, anyway.

41
WASHINGTON (AP) – Anyone who took an early flight for a Memorial Day getaway has
already gotten a taste of what summer air travel will be like: full planes, crowded airports
and weather delays. After July 5th, it will get worse. No kidding…

NEW YORK – House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is hot under the collar about an epi-
sode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent that he says “slurred” him. “Looks like the same
shooters. CSU found the slug in a post, matched it to the one that killed Judge Barton.
Maybe we should put out an APB [all-points bulletin] for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-
Shirt,” Detective Eames said in the episode entitled False-Hearted Judges. DeLay
MUST be an attorney, that’s so stupid. So is…

SAN DIEGO (Reuters) – A US military jury found a Navy commando innocent Thursday
of charges stemming from a 2003 incident in which members of his SEAL platoon beat
a suspected Iraqi insurgent before handing the prisoner over to the CIA where he died
in custody. Sometimes people get something right.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – US regulators said on Friday they have received more than
40 reports of a type of blindness in men taking impotence drugs, most involving Pfizer
Inc.’s Viagra, but have not determined if the medicines were responsible. Who needs
eyes?

ANNAPOLIS, Md. (AP) – Speaking out for the first time in favor of controversial base
closings, President Bush said Friday the nation is wasting billions of dollars on unnec-
essary military facilities and needs the money for the war on terrorism.

99% of all the species that have ever lived on the Earth are now extinct. Only time will
tell if man will join them. My money is on the dinosaurs.

The most overused line in the history of Television: He’s dead, Jim. Which only goes to
show you how stupid Captain Kirk really was. Bones had to tell him that over 100 times
in 3 seasons. I’m not a magician, Spock, just an old country doctor. I’m a doctor, not an
escalator. Medical men are trained in logic. Trained? Judging from you, I would have
guessed it was trial and error. I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer. I’m a doctor, NOT an engi-
neer. What am I, a doctor or a moon shuttle conductor?

There should never be such a thing as a writer out of work. The work is waiting for
someone to pick it up and write the story. The guys and gals who write the stuff are
sometimes called freelance and or stringers. You see their work if you watch TV or read
the papers. It is those little human-interest pieces and oddities…

Fleeing From Terror

By Bruce Jenkins

42
Twice in recent days I’ve been forced to deal with terror. The first was when I changed
jobs – I left FOX to work for National Geographic – the second was when I was trying to
get to my new job – at Yellowstone National Park.

You’ve no doubt been inconvenienced by a traffic accident that forced you to wait until
the road was clear. In this instance I had the experience, and it saved my life!

Blah, blah dee…

And the lady I mentioned? Her name is Mona and she’s an attractive young woman.
She and I are staying with some friends until the power is restored.

That little piece got Bruce $500, he sold it to the Washington Times, and, they wanted
more. Could Bruce return along the path he fled to Washington on? They could publish
each day as a separate segment of a multipart piece. They were offing $1,000 a seg-
ment plus expenses. Bruce thanked them for the offer and declined. He told them he
wasn’t going back to Yellowstone for $2,000 a segment. They upped the ante to $5,000
a segment, plus expenses, and no segment was to cover more than 12 hours. Bruce
accepted. He figured the piece was worth about $35,000. The Times reclassified him
from a freelancer to a stringer and gave him a Press ID and got him clearances from
FEMA to revisit the area.

Bruce got the pickup serviced from one end to the other and added a 12k Warn electric
winch, all of which went on the expense account. He bought a couple of boxes of tape
cassettes so he could record his observations on the way back to Wyoming. He planned
to dictate his story and have it transcribed when he got back. He had 4 weeks to make
the trip and submit the completed work; in the trade it’s called a deadline. According to
the National Weather Service, the Midwest was experiencing unseasonably low tem-
peratures because the ash in the air was blocking the sunlight. Bruce went to a store
that sold ski clothing, got winter clothing and put it on the expense account. Because
I’ve already been there, dragging my readers along with me, I won’t revisit the scene,
although we may look in on Bruce from time-to-time.

If pressed to verify assertions that Saudi Arabia had been nuked, Cindy could tell peo-
ple that the message traffic had suddenly ceased. Several networks got together and
sued the government on the basis of prior restraint. They were clamoring to tell the
American public what had happened in Saudi Arabia. The American public already
knew, the World Wide Web was still up and running, despite the power outage, and
there were people who read the Guardian. However, few people cared, assuming the
Saudis had finally gotten their just desserts. They had enough problems at home, deal-
ing with the aftermath of 7/5/05. The up side of attacking Saudi Arabia was that the US
already had troops in the area conducting Operation Iraqi Freedom. Those .3kt bombs

43
killed a lot of people but barely damaged the real estate. It wasn’t about oil at all, the US
paid for all of the oil they took after the attack – at $5.25 per barrel. That was the price
the US paid back when they’d put in the oil wells for the Saudis in the first place, via
ARAMCO. ARAMCO is an acronym for Arabian American Oil Company.

I’ve previously explained, in other stories, that the government could only exercise prior
restraint where there is a ‘clear and present danger’ to the security of the country. I
didn’t discuss the effect of EO 10995 and how the US Supreme Court might view the
Executive Order in view of its clear and present danger rule. The nice thing about law-
yers is that they can argue either side of an issue. In fact, that’s how they prepare their
cases for trial, studying the other side’s position and preparing arguments to defeat the
cases cited by their opponent.

“I sure hated to see Bruce leave and go back into that mess we fled from,” Mona com-
mented.

“Was it bad?” Cindy asked.

“Not really, we were in front of the surge of refugees until we laid over in Little Rock.
Bruce insisted on fitting me with that protective clothing and arming me in Albuquerque.
I’m familiar enough with firearms that they didn’t really bother me, but the idea of need-
ing to be armed to be safe in my own country was a little unsettling.”

“Getting fond of Bruce, are you?”

“I liked him from the moment I laid eyes on him. He’s a real Gentleman. He doesn’t
have a big ego and yet he’s not short on self-confidence. He just sees what needs to be
done and does it.”

“He’ll earn about six months wages from this piece he is preparing. Maybe the two of
you should consider getting married and buying a home.”

“It’s going to be up to him to ask me. I think he’s holding back because of his first mar-
riage going wrong. I asked him about her and he’d didn’t say anything bad. Did you
know her?”

“Yes. What did he tell you about her?”

“Something to the effect that she was perhaps a bit over-confident, but not arrogant; ex-
tremely independent, a bit of a feminist; and, attractive, but not overly so.”

“That’s Barbara all right.”

“Oh was that her name? Bruce never said.”

44
“Barbara is an attorney. I heard that her firm is representing the media in their lawsuit
over the prior restraint issue. That marriage was simply a case of oil and water, they
didn’t mix.”

“I was thinking maybe I should sleep with him, you know, in the other sense of the ex-
pression.”

“Don’t do that Mona; it will only drive a guy like Bruce away. A Gentleman only wants a
Lady as a long term companion.”

“What should I do?”

“Be patient, Mona. Bruce is on the road covering the same ground that you and he cov-
ered after the terrorists set off those bombs in Yellowstone and Long Valley. If I know
Bruce, he’ll come to terms with his feelings, whatever they are, when he covers the
same ground that you and he covered together.”

“He said something about keeping his job as a stringer for the Times and writing a book
that would cover the same subject that study was supposed to be about.”

“This disaster is going to take a long time to play out.”

“I know, but he was talking about a work of fiction, not a transcript of events that will re-
ally occur.”

The first thing that Bruce noticed on the road was that communities had gotten tired of
waiting for FEMA to decide what to do and had set up their own refugee camps. Along
the way he stopped at several camps and interviewed some of the refugees. He was
developing a base of human-interest stories that he could incorporate into his piece. He
had a large package of waivers the people could sign so he could tell their stories. FE-
MA had provided the Times with a special Identification Card so he had access to any-
where he wanted to go and FEMA was running the show.

Bruce ended up keeping two sets of tapes. The first told the stories of the refugees, his
personal experiences and was the piece the Times had hired him to write. The second
recorded the ineptness and sometimes-outright abuse he witnessed as FEMA struggled
to cope with the worst disaster in American history. Bruce had expected FEMA would
do whatever it took to help. He hadn’t expected some of high handedness he was wit-
nessing. And, Bruce wasn’t particularly liberal, people like that worked for CNN and the
Washington Post, not FOX and the Washington Times.

Jackson, Wyoming was just a shell of a town. The only thing that had saved the resi-
dents who had survived was the failure of Yellowstone to immediately erupt when those

45
nukes went off. They’d had a chance to flee and most had made it beyond the pyroclas-
tic flow. Approaching temperatures of molten lava, anyone caught in a pyroclastic flow
died instantly. That’s what had happened 2,000 years ago when Mt. Vesuvius erupted
and it was what happened in 2005 when Yellowstone was prodded into blowing its top.
The estimate of 2,000km³ of ash from this eruption seemed to be right on. At least that
was what USGS was claiming. They’d missed the mark on Long Valley; it only put out
600km³, rather than the projected 750km³.

The combined ash from both calderas added to the biological weapon the terrorists had
released and CDC had yet to find a cure for was wreaking havoc on the country. For
1,000 miles to the east of North Platte, Nebraska people were getting sick, and dying.
Regardless of what I’ve told you or others have told you, a disease like Ebola isn’t easy
to spread and it rarely goes airborne. Ebola is spread by personal contact. Therefore
the organism that the terrorists released wasn’t some form of Ebola, thank God. Still,
whatever it was, it was a killer.

Bruce had spent about $1,000 and bought a suit that he could wear in the hazardous
areas. The suit carried a rating of III, which meant that is was good against level 4 bio-
hazards. He also had a case of the disposable N-100 masks and a MSA Millennium gas
mask with spare filters so he could go into the areas close to the epicenter and could
visit with refugees without risking catching anything.

Cindy had been right and over the course of the 4 weeks Bruce was on the road he
came to terms with his feelings about Mona. He’d concluded that he’d never do any bet-
ter than the young lady he’d hooked up with in the motel bar in Coleville, Wyoming. Mo-
na wasn’t Barbara and everything about Barbara that had been a source of discord in
their marriage was missing from Mona. Mona was an individual, just as Barbara was,
but unlike Barbara, she didn’t flaunt it. He hadn’t pushed Mona to sleep with him, realiz-
ing that like most men, he had a double standard.

“How was your trip?” Mona asked giving Bruce a gentle hug.

“That was the saddest thing I ever did, Mona. You wouldn’t believe the level of destruc-
tion. Jackson was within the pyroclastic flow, so you won’t have a job there for a very
long time.”

“I like the job I have here in Vienna.”

“Great. I actually ended up doing two stories, the one I’m going to write for the Times
and another that Jack and I are going to need to talk about.”

“Oh, saw something that might interest me?” Jack asked.

46
“More likely disgust you as much as it did me. We’ll talk about it later, Jack. I want you
to listen to a set of tapes I made to document what I found.”

“Sure, whatever.”

“Anything new in the Middle East, Cindy?”

“It’s about what you’d expect, Bruce. The US took over the Saudi oil fields and is pump-
ing crude at capacity. We’re selling it to anyone who will buy it at an inflation-adjusted
price based on the original $5.25 per barrel. That has OPEC up in arms as you might
well imagine. As it is, the US is currently importing 100% of its oil from Saudi Arabia.
Much of our oil previously came from Venezuela.”

“What’s Bush’s attitude about all of this?”

“He’s adapted. Congress didn’t give him any choice. He is using the proceeds of the
Saudi oil to fund Operation Iraqi Freedom.”

“I heard that they secretly threatened Syria with the same thing that they did to Saudi
Arabia,” Jack added. “The insurgency seems to be dying down.”

“Good, maybe we can bring our troops home.”

“I wouldn’t count on that. More likely they’ll end up moving them to Saudi Arabia. Bush
has forwarded a proposal to Congress to reinstitute the draft. And, he’s ordered all of
the troops out of Korea and Germany and redeployed to Saudi Arabia. I heard another
rumor that they might base some of our fleet of B-2 bombers there.”

“That would be a major escalation for this country to have forward based bombers.”

“We already had some of the B-2 based in Guam and Diego Garcia. The rumor mill
says that all of the remaining B-2s and the B-52s will be moved to our new stronghold in
the Middle East.”

47
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 6 – Trouble at DHS

“Ok, you’ve heard the tapes and the refugees’ own comments together with mine, what
do you think Jack?”

“Bruce, some of that is to be expected when FEMA tries to cope with the worst disaster
in the history of the country. But some of what I heard was excesses that never should
have been allowed to happen in the first place. Would you mind if I took a copy of the
tapes and had them transcribed? I think that I should pass this up the chain to the Sec-
retary.”

“I took pains to avoid my name being anywhere in those tapes, so I guess it would be
ok. I’m going to finish up the original story for the Times and start a novel loosely based
on the study that I was hired by National Geographic to do.”

“Mona said something to Cindy about that. It might be a bad time to write a novel that
parallels current events. Speaking of Mona, did you get things sorted out on the road
about how you feel about her?”

“Mostly. She has all of Babs’ good qualities but none of the shortcomings that drove a
wedge between the two of us.”

“And she’s better looking than Barbara, too.”

“Beauty is only skin-deep, Jack. Ugly is to the core.”

“You did know that she’s a college graduate, didn’t you?”

“She never said anything. No, I didn’t know that. That’s one of the things holding me
back. I know so little about her.”

“Hey, I forgot to tell you. We located her parents and they’re alive and well in Kansas.”

“In a FEMA camp?”

“No, in one of the community camps. They’re doing fine. Mona was a history major. Un-
less a person becomes a teacher, a major in history is mostly worthless; at least when it
comes to finding a job.”

“Maybe she should get her Master’s Degree and take a job at a Community College
teaching History.”

“You should talk to her about that, not me. I’ll dupe these tapes and return them to you.”

“Fine. I’d better get to putting my story for the Times together. I have a deadline to
meet.”

48
°

Bruce submitted the story a week later and the Times was very impressed. They offered
him another $35 grand, plus expenses, for a 2-3 part follow up piece. He told them that
he’d think about it and talk it over with his significant other. No, they hadn’t crawled into
the sack yet and Bruce hadn’t proposed. He was getting close, however. First he want-
ed to talk to Mona about going to graduate school and becoming a teacher. He also had
to find out more about her and her family. Finally, he wanted to actually meet her par-
ents.

“Mona, we need to talk.”

“What about Bruce?”

“You didn’t tell me you were a college graduate and a history major. It made me realize
that there is so much about you that I don’t know. I’ll have to admit, right up front, that
I’m very fond of you. Could you fill me in a little on your background, and I’ll do the
same?”

“Well, I was born on July 5, 1980 in Aurora, Nebraska. My parents are Edgar ‘Ed’ and
Rose Freeman… …and after I graduated from college, there was no money for me to
get my Master’s Degree and I ended up working in a grocery store as a checker. Now,
tell me about you.”

“What you see is what you get, Mona. I was born February 8, 1974 in Salina, Kansas.
That’s almost due south of Aurora. My parents are Robert and Mary Jenkins… …and I
worked a series of jobs as a reporter until I landed the job with FOX News. I met Barba-
ra here in Washington and we were married shortly thereafter. We were just a bad mix
and after a while drifted apart. Finally she suggested that our marriage had been a mis-
take for both of us and that we should get an uncontested divorce. I agreed.”

“Salina is where my parents are. Small world, isn’t it?”

“The Times wants me to do a follow up article on the piece I just submitted. I thought
maybe I go to Kansas and talk to the people that were evacuated in front of the biologi-
cal agent. My folks are in Salina. Your folks are in Salina. I’d really like to see you quit
your job, get your Master’s Degree and become a teacher, if that’s what you want. I
guess what I’m trying to say is, Mona, will you marry me?”

“YES. Yea, no more smiling at sour faces.”

“It will be your first, and hopefully only wedding, do you want a fancy ceremony?”

“Why don’t I quit my job, you accept the Times assignment and we’ll start the story in
Salina so our parents can see us get married. I don’t want a fancy wedding and in light

49
of the condition the country is in, I believe it would be inappropriate. We can get married
in your church in Salina with just our immediate families present.”

“Cindy helped me pick out this ring, I hope it fits.”

“It will, assuming it fit her. She and I wear the same size of ring.”

“I’d have bought a larger stone, I had the money, but we need to buy a home and I as-
sumed the money would be better spent on that.”

“I can’t wait to show Cindy.”

“Cindy has already seen the ring.”

“Not on my hand, she hasn’t. What kind of deadline did they give you on the story if you
accepted the assignment?”

“4 weeks.”

“Perfect. I’m not required to give 2-weeks’ notice so I tell the store manager tomorrow
that I’m quitting to get married and return to college.”

“So you finally got off the dime,” Jack laughed. “Cindy told me you bought the ring.
Congratulations, you two. When and where is the wedding?”

“In Salina, Kansas in about a week. I wanted you to be my best man, but it would be too
much to ask you to come to Kansas.”

“I’ll be in Salina, Kansas around that time. The Secretary wants me to do a fact-finding
trip and either confirm or dispute the facts in that piece you prepared. I’ve already asked
Cindy to take time off and make the trip with me.”

“Cindy, would you be my Matron of Honor?”

“Thank you, Mona. Of course I will.”

“Jack, how are you making the trip?”

“I’m pulling a HMWWV from the Motor Pool. It’s up armored and even carries a M240B
machinegun.”

“You should get them to add one of those 98-gallon fuel tanks that I have in my pickup.”

50
“It has the winch, and I’ll be pulling a fuel trailer with 300 gallons of fuel. Cindy and I
were planning on taking our weapons, in case we have the opportunity to get in a little
target practice. I asked, and believe it or not the Department agreed, for the vehicle to
be equipped with an M-240B machinegun. In order to cover the situation with my having
the M-240B and other things, I’ll temporarily become a sworn member of the Secret
Service. I’ve already qualified with all of the weapons I’ll be authorized to carry. They
also issued Cindy a federal CCW for the duration of the trip. If you want, I’ll see if I can
get CCWs issued for Mona and you.”

“That might not be a bad idea. Mona are you up to qualifying for a federal CCW?”

“What does that entail?”

“Simple, Mona. You have to shoot a qualifying score with any weapon covered on the
CCW and pass a simple written test. I have the study guide Cindy used and it isn’t that
difficult.”

“I guess so…”

“Mona will try and qualify with the AR and the Hi-Power,” Bruce suggested.

“That’s what Cindy qualified with and she didn’t have a bit of trouble.”

“Why the Secret Service and not the FBI or one of the other organizations that already
have people in the DHS?”

“Simply because the USSS is a branch of the DHS. I also qualified with the MP5-N. Do
you want me to arrange that for you?”

“I don’t have an MP5-N.”

“I can get 2 issued to me.”

“In that case, sure.”

In fact, the Secretary, DHS was very disturbed by Bruce’s report when it hit his desk. He
wanted to keep a tight rein on the situation and limit the knowledge of what Bruce re-
ported to the few people who already possessed the knowledge. He’d run a proposal by
the White House and the President didn’t want the headache of this coming to the sur-
face. Bush knew vaguely who Bruce was from his days at FOX News and had instruct-
ed the Secretary to include Bruce in. That was the greatest assurance that both the
White House and DHS could have, e.g., having an imbedded reporter along who knew
enough to keep his mouth shut until the true facts could be determined. The head of the
White House Detail suggested that they put Jack in charge of the investigation and also

51
make him, and if necessary Bruce, temporary members of the White House Detail of the
USSS. Jack knew this but wasn’t at liberty to say anything until the Secretary of DHS
had a talk with Bruce.

Bruce told the Times that he’d do the story and have it on their desk in 4 weeks, for
$35,000. They gave him an expense advance equal to the expenses he’d incurred while
on the road for the previous story, which had raised their circulation noticeably, more
than offsetting the cost of the story. They’d done a background check on Bruce and the
people at FOX News held him in high regard, citing his professionalism and objectivity.
The advance was the Editor’s idea because he’d heard that Bruce was getting married
on the trip. Washington is the sort of town where you can’t pee without someone hear-
ing the water splash.

“I’d like to start off by saying that we appreciate your discretion in this matter Bruce,”
the Secretary said. “We aren’t looking to whitewash anything and I had words with the
Oval Office about including you in with our investigation. All we’re asking for is an op-
portunity to clean up this mess. At the suggestion of the head of the White House Detail,
we’d like to make you a temporary Secret Service Agent and a temporary member of
the White House Detail, the same as we’ve done with Jack. I understand that you’re do-
ing a follow up story for the Times. That will make a good cover for you. We want Jack
and you to thoroughly investigate what you discovered. We’ll need facts and more facts
to get to the bottom of this and see that it is stopped and doesn’t occur again.”

“Are we talking cover up?”

“We’re talking about cleaning up something that never should have happened and see-
ing that it doesn’t occur again. Is the public’s right to know more important than that
mission?”

“Pretty fine line, Mr. Secretary.”

“You will not be held accountable to any official secrets act and if you are dissatisfied
with the resulting actions, you can always report your story so long as you report both
sides evenly and fairly. We’ve done a thorough background check and feel that you’re
the man for this job. You’ve already demonstrated your support of your country by tak-
ing the story to Jack instead of putting it in the Times. If either Jack or you witness any
flagrant violation that requires immediate action, you will have the legal authority. Oth-
erwise, assemble the facts and we’ll handle it from the top down.”

“Not everyone had something bad to say about FEMA, Mr. Secretary. I believe that part
of the problem is FEMA finding itself up against the worst disaster in the history of this
country and being unprepared to cope. That’s what Jack thinks, too. I haven’t personally
witnessed anything that would call for anything more than a caution or a reprimand.
That’s the primary reason I took the story to Jack.”

52
“That’s good enough for me, Bruce. Are you with us on this?”

“Under the terms you described to me yes. What next?”

“Call this number. It’s the private line for the head of the White House Detail. He’ll set up
a couple of days of intensive training. You’ll need to be familiar with the limits of your
authority and how to react in particular situations. You’ll also need weapons training and
to be qualified on a pistol, rifle, MP5-N and the M-240B machinegun. We are going to
approve a federal CCW for Mona Freeman. She is the young woman you are planning
on marrying, right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Call the number I gave you. Thanks Bruce.”

“Thank you Mr. Secretary.”

A rather surprising development, but nothing to be alarmed about, yet. Bruce had no
intention of letting the DHS or White House whitewash anything. If they would act
promptly to clean up the mess and ensure that it never happened again, he might give
them a pass and not report the story or, tone it down to something the White House
could live with. The problem with stories like this was that members of the more liberal
media liked to take a few facts, blow them totally out of proportion and get the Congress
involved, purely on a political agenda. The ultra-conservative media was just as bad as
the ultra-liberal media, in Bruce’s opinion.

“Have you already taken your classes, Jack?”

“Yep. Not much to it, some do’s and don’ts. Mostly it’s the limits on our authority. We will
be peace officers, if only temporarily, and have to conform to the standards expected of
all peace officer’s. We aren’t to use the authority except in the most extreme of circum-
stances involving serious bodily harm or possible death. We will also have a secret Ex-
ecutive Order requiring all federal authorities to cooperate with us. We’ll sort of be like
Robert Conrad and Ross Martin. You know, James West and Artemis Gordon. (You
knew I got the idea somewhere, right?)

“I looked up that HMMWV on Global Security. That SOB is a regular War Wagon. Are
you sure we need a .30 caliber machinegun?”

“Maybe not, but better safe than sorry. Maybe the abuse is nothing more than what you
personally witnessed. Or, maybe it is more pervasive. In the latter event, who knows
what we might run up against? By the way, the USSS will provide us with suppressors
for our H&K USP Tactical pistols and our HK91A3s. The gals won’t get suppressors for

53
their weapons. However, rather than have them carrying the AR-15s I’m going to check
out a pair of M16A3s with the red dot sights.”

This situation was getting curiouser by the moment. Bruce considered himself to be a
reporter, not a USSS spy. He’d told the Secretary yes and intended to live up to his
word. He was, however, getting an uneasy feeling about this whole thing. His reporter’s
nose could smell cover-up and it was beginning to stink to high heaven. However, the
maxim said not to judge a book by its cover. Bruce would wait and see for himself and
act accordingly.

“…I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

“I think you’ve gotten yourself a winner this time, Bruce. I never had anything against
Barbara, but I’ll have to admit that I never could quite picture the two of you together.”

“Thanks, Dad. I agree. I was fairly skeptical at first, once burned and all of that. But I
think this marriage will work out just fine.”

“Well, Ed, why don’t you and Rose move out of that camp and in with Mary and me? I
know that camp is better than most, but you have to be getting tired of the cafeteria
food. We have plenty of room here and as soon as the area up in Nebraska is declared
safe, I’m sure you will want to return home. Being my son and your daughter just tied
the knot, I’d feel pretty uncomfortable with the two of you living in a tent.”

“I think Rose would do anything to get out of the camp. So, on both her and my behalf I
accept. I read that piece Bruce wrote for the Washington Times. They sure had a heck
of a time fleeing in front of that eruption and those refugees. Did you notice that both
Bruce and Jack are wearing guns? What is that all about?”

“Bruce wouldn’t say and I didn’t ask Jack because I don’t really know him well enough
to ask a question like that. Both of the girls have weapons, too, or didn’t you notice?”

“I noticed all right. I asked Mona why she was carrying a 9mm handgun and she
showed me a federal CCW. She refused to comment any further. I have a bad feeling
about those 4 young people finding it necessary to be armed. I’m not against guns;
don’t get me wrong, Bob. And it’s not like I didn’t raise her to know how to use firearms
if the situation called for it. Still, a guy has to wonder what they’re into that would require
them being armed. Bruce is doing a follow up article on his earlier story?”

“That what he said. I got the feeling that there is something more to it than he said. His
body English gave him away. When I asked about the first story, I got the impression
that he learned something he wasn’t telling me.”

“What are the two of you talking about?” Mona asked.

54
“Conspiracy theories. And why Cindy and you are armed and Jack and Bruce are carry-
ing guns, even at a wedding.”

“Well, I could tell you, but…”

“I know, honey, you’d have to kill us, right?”

“I was going to say it might get you killed, Dad.”

“What in the hell have you gotten yourself into, Mona?”

“I guess the short answer is the guys are checking on a possible conspiracy and I’ve
already said too much, Dad. You guys keep that under your hat and please don’t bring
the subject up again. Sometimes it’s what you know that can get you killed.”

“Where does Cindy work?”

“The CIA.”

“And Jack?”

“The Department of Homeland Security, but he used to work for the CIA, too.”

“Jesus H. Christ. You be careful, girl.”

“Dad, both Cindy and I are fully qualified on our Browning Hi-Power pistols and the
M16A3s we have. You didn’t see it, but there are other weapons in the HMWWV.”

“I need a drink, how about you Ed?”

“Make mine a triple.”

Everything was as it should be at the Salina Camp. However, the City of Salina ran the
camp and FEMA was only marginally involved. Bruce spent a day interviewing people
for his story including his new in-laws. The word on the Blackhawk going down was that
it was a mechanical problem that caused the rotor to seize; several people had wit-
nessed the crash. Bruce got some good material. Their next stop was a camp in Pueb-
lo, Colorado. FEMA was in charge of this particular camp. If one didn’t look closely, eve-
rything appeared to be on the up and up. However, the peoples’ eyes told a different
story. No one would open up to either of the men except to relate how he or she’d fled
from the eruption and managed to escape.

55
“Bruce, I have an idea. One of the men I interviewed today said something to make me
believe that he’s was on the run from the law. I’d like to suggest that we arrest the guy
as a fugitive from justice and haul him down to the camp in Salina. I think once we get
him out of here and he gets into a decent camp, he might just open up.”

“It’s in their eyes, but nobody is saying anything.”

“I agree. Man a conspiracy theorist would have a field day with the people in this camp.
I’m afraid if we say anything to the camp administrators, they’ll kill the guy and we won’t
find anything out.”

“Then let’s just arrest the guy and if they try to interfere, we’ll lay the EO on them.”

“As much as I hate to involve our wives, 4 guns are better than 2. So far, they all believe
that you’re a reporter and I’m from DHS just making a routine inquiry. Which, as far as it
goes, is perfectly true. However, once we lay the badges on them, they might act very
differently.”

“Where is the nearest military base?”

“Colorado Springs, why?”

“Having a HMWWV equipped with an M-240B is comforting and having the wives along
with their weapons is even more comforting. But, with that EO, we can get some sol-
diers from the nearest military base and avoid involving the wives.”

“Good idea. How many people do you think we’ll need?”

“A Platoon would make me feel good and a Company would make me feel even better. I
think once we pull this guy out of the camp, we’re going to need to leave the soldiers
here to avoid the administrators taking reprisals against the people who we leave be-
hind.”

To all military and civilian employees of the US government:

The bearers of this Executive Order, John ‘Jack’ W. Casey and Bruce R. Jenkins are
members of the United States Secret Service and assigned to the White House Detail.
You are hereby instructed and ordered to provide and render them all aid and assis-
tance they may require. They are acting on behalf of this office and have full authority to
make any request of any military or civilian member of the Government of the United
States.

Signed

56
George W. Bush
President

EO # 14444 (Top Secret)

“Gentlemen,” the General said. “Frankly, I thought the Sergeant of the Guard was crazy.
I’ve never seen a Top Secret Executive Order before. What is it that I can do to assist
you?”

“Aren’t you going to call and verify that the EO is genuine?” Jack asked.

“I did that before you were ever allowed into my office. I got my pedigree read to me by
a very irritated White House Chief of Staff. The letter is genuine all right.”

“General, the long and short of it is that we conducting an investigation of alleged FEMA
abuses. I do work for DHS, but at the moment, I operating under the authority of my as-
signment to the USSS. Bruce is a stringer for the Washington Times but he is also act-
ing in his capacity as a USSS agent. We require as many troops as are necessary to
secure the FEMA camp in Pueblo from the administrators of the camp and the people
working for them. We’d like to suggest at least a Company of Infantry or more if you
choose.”

“I’d heard rumors but there has never been any proof of anything untoward occurring in
the camp. If you only want a Company that’s fine with me, but if I were in charge, I’d
send more people.”

“Neither of us is military and you will be in charge of that camp as soon as we leave.
You take as many people as makes you feel comfortable.”

“Fine, gentlemen, I’m going to send in a small Battalion. Once we have the place se-
cured, we’ll return the unneeded solders to post.”

“More is better, General?”

“Something like that, Jack. I can probably get by with the platoon once we secure the
place. Did the people appear to you that they’d been properly fed?”

“Hmm, now that you mention it, maybe not.”

“I’ll send in some cooks and rations, too.”

BTW, Jack was from Wichita, Kansas, which explained how the two had met in the first
place.

57
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 7 – Jack and Bruce

…met in Wichita while Bruce was still in High School. It was during Jack’s senior year
and Bruce’s junior year at ISU. They met at a social function, neither could remember
which social function, there were many during a fella’s senior year in High School. Jack
was saying something rather uncomplimentary about the ISU Cyclones and Bruce hap-
pened to overhear. Bruce tried to set Jack straight, but Jack didn’t much care for ISU
and their athletic teams. Bruce explained that he was in his junior year at ISU and alt-
hough he was born and raised in Kansas, ISU was a pretty good school. Bruce told
Jack he planned to major in Journalism and ISU didn’t offer what he wanted. Long story
short, they more or less became friends.

When Jack got the offer to join the Agency the following year, he looked Bruce up and
told him that he was going to Washington to work for the CIA. They lost track of each
other after that and it wasn’t until Bruce went to work for FOX News that they hooked up
again. Just on a whim, Bruce called the CIA’s published number and asked for Jack
Casey. Jack was out, but Bruce was forwarded to Jack’s voice mail so he left a mes-
sage and his number. The following day, when Jack was back in the office, he returned
Bruce’s call. They played phone tag for several days and then ended up sitting in a DC
bar nursing beers and catching up. By this time Jack and Cindy were married but Jack
hadn’t moved to DHS. Jack’s move to DHS actually came in March of 2003 after Con-
gress created the Cabinet level post. Merging 22 government agencies primarily creat-
ed DHS.

The USSS is actually part of the Department of Homeland Security. The Department of
Homeland Security was established with the passage of (Public Law 107-296) which in
part, transferred the United States Secret Service from the Department of the Treasury,
to the new department effective March 1, 2003. So you see it wasn’t quite the stretch
one might have thought it was to make Jack and Bruce temporary members of the
White House Detail of the USSS.

The mission of the USSS had changed with the passage of the USA Patriot Act. The
USA Patriot Act (Public Law 107-56) increases the Secret Service’s role in investigating
fraud and related activity in connections with computers. In addition it authorizes the Di-
rector of the Secret Service to establish nationwide electronic crimes taskforces to as-
sist the law enforcement, private sector and academia in detecting and suppressing
computer-based crime; increases the statutory penalties for the manufacturing, posses-
sion, dealing and passing of counterfeit US or foreign obligations; and allows enforce-
ment action to be taken to protect our financial payment systems while combating
transnational financial crimes directed by terrorists or other criminals.

Making Jack a member of the USSS had been as easy as issuing him a new ID. Em-
ployees of the CIA are fairly thoroughly vetted on a regular basis. The ID didn’t have an
expiration date either, but Jack assumed it was a clerical error. The USSS makes very

58
few, almost no, clerical errors. Bruce’s ID did have an expiration date, for 1 year in the
future. Remember, this was a 4-week assignment. Never mind what the laws says, the
US Government pretty much does what it wants to do, or at least they try. Nobody com-
plained when Jack and Bruce borrowed the Army Battalion and had them take over
running the FEMA camp in Pueblo, Colorado.

The Army was detaining the camp administration at Fort Carson pending the outcome
of Jack and Bruce’s inquiry. Once they got that guy out of the Pueblo camp and set up
at the camp in Salina, he started singing like a bird. Things weren’t as they appeared to
be in Pueblo. For one thing, the food was delivered in one set of trucks and later a sec-
ond set of trucks would show up and haul part of it away. The bell tolled once… For an-
other thing, the guards were contractors, not federal employees, and this particular
group of guards, on several occasions, had singled out a woman for questioning and
that was the last anyone had ever seen of the woman. The bell tolled twice… Finally,
the guards were rather insistent on everyone toeing a narrow line and the slightest mis-
step got a person roughed up. The bell tolled a third and final time… Ask not for whom
the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

Jack called the Secretary and the camp administrators were tried and convicted in a se-
cret trial and put in Leavenworth. That stuck Bruce as being very odd. The US had a
justice system and as far as Bruce knew, it didn’t include kangaroo courts or secret tri-
bunals. By this time Bruce had more than enough material for his 3-part follow up article
and he began to compose the story omitting, for the moment, any reference to what
Jack and he were doing. Bruce was keeping a second set of notes documenting the
current secret mission.

“That’s one down and many more to go,” Jack observed.

“I can’t say that I’m totally happy with the way it turned out, Jack.”

“What do you mean, we got the bad guys out and the camp is operating the way it was
intended?”

“Right and what happened to the bad guys, Jack? I’ll tell you what happened to them;
they sitting in Leavenworth convicted by some secret tribunal for only God knows what
and only God knows for how long. That isn’t the American system.”

“Tough times call for tough measures Bruce.”

“I don’t want to hear any more clichés, Jack. Everyone, even an Al Capone is entitled to
his day in court.”

“I can’t argue with that, buddy. The USA Patriot Act provided for a secret court.”

“Right, to issue secret search warrants, not to conduct secret trials.”

59
“What’s the difference? They’re off the street and won’t hurt anyone else.”

“If I have to explain it to you, I doubt you’d understand.”

“Oh, I understand Bruce, and you’re right. That’s why when you end blowing the whistle
on this whole charade; I’ll back you up 100%. But, in the meantime, let’s clean up the
camps first. I’m from Kansas, I only WORK in Washington.”

Jack had concluded that his ID not having an expiration date could only mean that
someone was setting him up. He wasn’t about to be anybody’s fall guy. The fact that
Bruce’s ID card was good for a year and the mission was supposed to be over in a
month was only further proof, to him, of his suspicions. ID cards were a security matter
and when it came to security the USSS didn’t make errors. The operative term here was
anal-retentive. Neither was he going out without a few souvenirs. That was when some-
body broke into his Hummer and stole his and Bruce’s HK91A3s, and the suppressors,
all of which were immediately replaced. Jack was operating on the other guy’s dime, but
he wanted a quarter. Maybe the MP5-N was only a 9mm and the USSS used a special
10mm version, but at full auto, it didn’t make much difference. Somehow he had to fig-
ure out how to get 4 of those and keep the M16A3s the girls were using.

Some wanted to know what the difference was between an M16A3 and an M16A4. I
explained in a previous story, but here it is again. To quote Global Security: “The
M16A3, which replaced the M16A2 in 1994, is basically an M16A2 with full-automatic
capability and optional M4A1-style Rail Interface System (RIS). The M16A3 and the
M16A4 are identical to the M16A2, but both have the modular upper receiver. The
M16A3 is capable of fully automatic fire, like the M16A1, while the M16A4 uses the
M16A2s three-round burst mechanism. Additionally, several types of optical sights have
been developed for the modular upper. The M16A4 is identical to the M16A3, but can
fire single shots or 3-round bursts (no full auto). The M16A4 Rifle is a standard M16A2
Rifle with a flat top upper receiver and detachable carrying handle. The flat top upper
receiver has an integral rail that will be utilized (when the carrying handle is removed) to
mount optical devices to the weapon. The M16A4 Rifle in combination with the M5 Rail
Adapter forms the Modular Weapon System (rifle version), which provides soldiers the
flexibility to configure their weapons with those accessories required to fulfill an as-
signed mission. There are no differences between the internal dimensions of the M16A2
Rifle and the M16A4 Rifle.”

“The MP5-N fires from a closed and locked bolt in either the automatic or semiautomatic
modes. This gun is recoil operated and has a unique delayed roller locked bolt system,
a retractable butt stock, a removable suppressor, and illuminating flashlight integral to
the forward hand guard. The flashlight is operated by a pressure switch custom fitted to
the pistol grip. This is the same basic weapon used by the FBIs Hostage Rescue Team
and other world-class counter-terrorist organizations. The present inventory includes
both suppressed and non-suppressed versions of the MP5. The basic configuration of

60
this weapon makes for an ideal size, weight, and capable (accuracy, lethality, reliability,
etc.) close quarters battle weapon system. This weapon is manufactured by Heckler
and Koch and is presently fielded to Marine Corps Force Reconnaissance Companies
and Marine Security Force Battalions. It is currently considered the main weapon in the
close-quarters battle (CQB) environment.”

The MP5-N’s were more readily available and generally more easily replaced than the
special 10mm model used by the USSS, just as soon as Jack arranged their theft. The
MP5/10 SMG is a product-improved variation of the world-famous MP5 9mm subma-
chine gun. Designed especially for the American Law Enforcement (FBI) user, the
MP5/10 is chambered for the potent 10mm Auto cartridge. Operation and functioning
principles of the MP5/10 are identical to that of the 9mm MP5.

Numerous user inspired improvements have been incorporated into the design. A new
bolt catch holds the bolt group rearward after the magazine is empty. A newly designed
translucent (see-through) synthetic magazine allows the user to see the immediate sta-
tus of the rounds remaining in the magazine. These magazines snap together without
the need of an accessory clamp, providing the operator with sixty rounds of available
firepower right on the weapon. Using a specially developed high strength polymer,
these are magazines 30% lighter and impervious to corrosion.

The MP5/10 will come standard with HKs ambidextrous trigger group providing for sin-
gle, 3-round burst and sustained (full automatic) fire modes. Optional trigger groups, in-
cluding any combination of the above modes of fire, will also be available. The safe-
ty/selector switch is easily accessible by right or left-handed operators and does not re-
quire operators to change their firing grip to take the weapon off “safe”.

A high degree of interchangeability of parts, accessories, stocks and slings exist be-
tween the MP5/10 and the 9mm MP5. For low light/night use, HKs own Beta (tritium)
self-luminous front and rear sights are available as an option. Replacing the standard
forearm with an HK Tactical Forearm Light provides the user with an integral 15,000-
candle power flashlight.

The MP5/10 is designed to meet the ever-increasing call by US Law Enforcement for a
compact, accurate and reliable submachine gun chambered for a cartridge with in-
creased terminal effects on target. The 10mm Auto cartridge provides up to twice the
muzzle energy of the standard 9mm parabellum NATO cartridge, and still is easily con-
trollable due to the unique roller-locked bolt system employed throughout the HK line of
weapons. This perfect combination of weapon and cartridge puts the firepower, penetra-
tion and hard hitting potential of a .45 ACP Thompson SMG into a package identical in
size and weight to the 9mm MP5.

On the other hand, why the hell not? When they had their MP5-Ns stolen, they’d had to
have them replaced with the MP5/10 with optional suppressors. Both of the MP5-Ns
were signed out to Jack and if Jack could sign out two, Bruce sort of figured he could
sign out two, too. The replacement HK91A3s were the HK G3KA4 rifles with a selective

61
fire, 600-round cyclic rate and the shorter barrel. Nice. Very nice! Cheaper Than Dirt
sold the: Mag H&K .308 G3 Aluminum 20-Rd Made in Germany, used Very Good Con-
dition for $1.97 each.

If they did blow the whistle on the government, they would lose their jobs anyway so a
few souvenirs were a good thing. First they had to clean up the camps and then they
had to save the country from the duplicity of the Oval Office and DHS, all without getting
killed in the process.

They stopped in Salina and stored their HK91A3s at Bruce’s parents’ home. Then the
two couples were off to bigger and better things. A check of the camp that DHS sent
them to revealed nothing out of the ordinary. They were supposed to find a problem at
that camp, so that meant to Jack and Bruce that DHS was making sure that they didn’t
find any other problems. Now mind you, all of this is occurring in August/September of
2005. The air was still filled with volcanic ash and it was starting to get cold. Jack re-
quested a list of all of the camps where problems were suspected and they went to the
camps that weren’t on the list. It got to the point that they didn’t even have to ask any
questions; it only took a look into the eyes of the residents to tell the story.

The moment they saw that look, they moved to the nearest Army post and used the se-
cret EO to enlist the support of the Commanding Officer. Bruce submitted his 3-part
piece to the Times and he was now a free agent to continue what they were doing. Of
course by this time Washington was getting antsy and they were instructed that the next
camp they visited was to be from the list of troubled camps. The Agency had placed
Cindy on paid administrative leave for the duration of the assignment. No doubt be-
cause the DCI was getting a kick out of Jack, and by extension Cindy, embarrassing his
counterpart at the DHS and the President.

After cleaning up the second camp they had received that order about only visiting the
camps on the list, so they obeyed, visited with a few people and immediately went to
another camp not on the list. Same sad story and, finding the same thing at 3 out of 5
camps screamed conspiracy at the highest level. After they cleaned up the third camp,
they were ordered back to Washington to explain why they hadn’t restricted their activi-
ties to only visiting the camps on the list. Regrettably, the HMWWV was involved in an
accident somewhere in Arkansas totally destroying the vehicle before it burst into
flames. They lost everything including 4 MP5/10 submachine guns with optional sup-
pressors, 2 HK G3KA4 and their suppressors, 2 M16A3 rifles and the M-240B machine
gun. A burst tire had caused Jack to lose control and Cindy and he only narrowly es-
caped. …Arizona and I’ll throw the Golden Gate in free. Very nice souvenirs!

Jack was terminated for exceeding his charter. Bruce and Jack wrote up the whole dirty
story and Jack sold it to the Washington Post for $50,000, along with copies of the
tapes they’d made. Jack went to a buddy in Virginia and got the 4 of them issued official
State of Virginia CCWs, which were nearly as good as the federal CCWs. The DCI took

62
Cindy off paid administrative leave and she was back on the Middle East desk. He also
offered Jack his old job back. (I’ve got several more chapters to go!)

Jack declined at first but then the Washington Times offered Bruce a fulltime job. Jack
had hoped that Bruce and he could open their own security firm, but Bruce was still a
reporter and $100 grand plus per year, plus expenses, was nothing to sneeze at. What
the hell, Jack took back his old job at the Agency on the China Desk. Mona was accept-
ed into a Graduate school.

About six committees in the House and the Senate began investigations. The easiest
part of Jack and Bruce’s story to confirm was what had happened to the administration
of the three camps the guys had busted. Congressional investigators somehow man-
aged to move faster than either the Oval Office or DHS and several of the men in prison
were very willing to tell their stories. Bush told the Secretary of DHS that it didn’t appear
that he had any choice except to call for his resignation. The Secretary fell on his sword
just as George Tenet had done. The only difference being when he was called before a
Congressional Committee to account for his behavior, he pulled a John Dean, and could
not tell a lie and didn’t even try.

Jack tracked down the contractor who had made all of the improvements to Cindy and
his home. The contractor revealed that he’d done 4 homes in the same neighborhood
and all were identically equipped. One of the homes was on the market and half of its
backyard butted up against Jack and Cindy’s backyard. Bruce and Mona made an offer
on the home. They had one hell of a down payment, $75,000. The home was just an-
other very modest three bedroom home that had a basement and, of all things, a bomb
shelter in the backyard. Well, they were identical, weren’t they?

“From what I can see, buddy both of these homes were probably part of the same hous-
ing tract. The only difference is that yours is a mirror image of ours.”

“You know, Jack if we ran a tunnel from my basement to your basement and connected
that tunnel to both shelters we have the ultimate setup. It occurs to me that before this
fiasco is over, some people might come gunning for us.”

“Do you have the money to afford half the cost of the tunnel?”

“We only put $75k down on the house and Mona and I only spent about $15k on fur-
nishings. That still leaves us the better part of $30 grand. Why don’t you talk to the con-
tractor you located and see about his building the tunnel?”

“I can do that, maybe it won’t cost very much.”

63
“Good because we need to buy some emergency supplies and I want to make sure we
have more than enough money left on hand for Mona to finish Grad School.”

“I talked to Barney the other day and told him that Mona and you got married.”

“What did he have to say for himself?”

“He said he was contemplating suicide, you know Barney. I mentioned to him that we
had the HK G3KA4s. He mentioned back that he has 2 brand new HK G3A4s if we’d
like to trade our old HK91A3s. He only wants $250 apiece for the swap and that in-
cludes moving the suppressors. He also had some extended, threaded barrels for the
girls’ Hi-Powers and suppressors if we want them.”

“I don’t know if I want to do that, the G3KA4s have that short barrel. I’d rather trade the
HK G3KA4s for HK G3A4s and the suppressors if that’s what you’re going to do. About
the only thing we lack is a couple of Ruger Mk IIs with integral suppressors.”“

“I know, that why I told him to bring 2, just in case.”

“Do you think they’ll come after us for the story I sold to the Post?”

“Let’s just say that I wouldn’t fall down from shock if they did. We broke a cardinal rule
when we kissed and told.”

“We did the right thing, Jack and they can’t really trace it back to us. We used a pseu-
donym for the author’s name. They can guess, but they’ll never prove anything.”

“When are you going to grow up, buddy? These guys don’t play by the rules of polite
society. They only require a suspicion as proof. It won’t be a direct attack; it will be a
very convenient auto accident, a mugging or a drive by shooting.”

“I can’t believe that the head of the White House Detail would ever condone something
like that.”

“He wouldn’t. That’s why he won’t be told anything about it. You do know about the
shadow government, right?”

“Only what I’ve heard on TV or read in the papers.”

“Well, you still have a lot to learn. Maybe Cindy and I had better begin holding classes
for Mona and you.”

Jack was talking about:

64
It is becoming increasingly apparent to American citizens that government is no longer
being conducted in accordance with the US Constitution, or, within states, according to
state constitutions. While people have recognized for more than 150 years that the rich
and powerful are often corrupt individual officials, or exert undue influence to get legisla-
tion passed that favors their interests, most Americans still cling to the naïve belief that
such corruption is exceptional, and that most of the institutions of society, the courts, the
press, and law enforcement agencies, still largely comply with the Constitution and the
law in important matters. They expect that these corrupting forces are disunited and in
competition with one another, so that they tend to balance one another.

Mounting evidence makes it clear that the situation is far worse than most people think,
that during the last several decades the US Constitution has been effectively over-
thrown, and that it is now observed only as a façade to deceive and placate the masses.
What has replaced it is what many call the Shadow Government. It still, for the most
part, operates in secret, because its control is not secure. The exposure of this regime
and its operations must now become a primary duty of citizens who still believe in the
Rule of Law and in the freedoms which this country is supposed to represent.

It is difficult to identify a single date or event that marks the overthrow, but we can iden-
tify some critical steps.

The first was the Dick Act of 1903, which repealed the Militia Act of 1792 and tried to
relegate the Constitutional Militia to the National Guard, under control of what is now the
US Defense Department. The second was the Federal Reserve Act, which established
a central bank only nominally under the control of the government.

Further erosion of constitutional governance was motivated by several challenges,

which the powerful felt required them to put aside their differences and unite. The first
was the Great Depression of 1933-1941. The second was World War II and the threat
from fascism, followed by the Cold War and the threat from Soviet imperialism and from
communism.

The third defies credibility, but cannot be avoided. UFOs and aliens. Despite the lack of
hard evidence accessible to ordinary citizens, there is enough testimonial evidence to
compel a reasonable person to conclude three things: UFOs exist, they are intelligently
directed, and they are not ours. Even if that were all that the government knew about
them, minds already paranoid from the Cold War could hardly help but perceive such
things as a significant potential threat, one that required secrecy, preparation, and dis-
regard for provisions of a Constitution that were inconvenient. There are, however,
enough leaks from government officials to indicate that the government knows a great
deal about them that it is concealing from the public.

The fourth is the eco-crisis, which combines both the ecological and economic crises.
Many leaders have recognized for a long time that we are headed for disaster, not a
kind of cyclical downturn like the Great Depression, but an irreversible decline brought
about by a combination of resource depletion, environmental degradation, and over-

65
population, playing out in an anarchic international system of disparate nation- states,
national currencies, national banks, and multinational corporations, exacerbated by tra-
ditional tribal rivalries, class conflict, and different languages and religions.

But this apparatus did not seem to function as an effective Shadow Government, able to
make and enforce decisions apart from the official government, until it came together to
assassinate President John F. Kennedy. That was the watershed event. After that, too
many people had too much to hide to allow the situation to return to governance as
usual.

The myth is that World War II ended with the defeat of fascism, but what really hap-
pened is that fascism got a grip on those fighting it, and is becoming increasingly perva-
sive and powerful. As it grows, it will induce a reaction, the outcome of which will be a
final confrontation. We can all hope that the confrontation will not be a bloody one, and
that it will be resolved while we still have time to solve our other pressing problems.

Conversely, Bruce thought Jack was talking about:

The Washington Post revealed the creation of a federal “shadow government” in the
wake of the September 11 terrorist attacks – some 100 senior civilian managers who
live and work in fortified bunkers in the event of a catastrophic event in Washington.

Some are alarmed by this development. It may surprise readers of this column to learn I
am not.

There is a threat. It is considerable. The possibility of a nuclear attack, a biological at-

tack or a chemical attack on Washington, New York or some other US city is real. We
should all recognize that after September 11. There are bad guys in this world. They are
out to get us. They have real resources and real capabilities.

What bothers me is not what the government is doing to prepare for the worst. What
bothers me is what the government is not doing to prepare for the worst.

Do you remember what a latent ambiguity is? Each of the two men had a different un-
derstanding about what a shadow government was. The same name for two opposing
groups; or, were they opposing groups? Talk about a conspiracy theory. A good con-
spiracy is un-provable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up some-
where along the line, according to Mel Gibson.

66
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 8 – A Chink in Their Armor

I’m not talking about the people from China that make campaign contributions… There
was nothing to directly link the White House to the developing story about the abuses
and corruption in the FEMA camps. While the Secretary of the DHS told the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God, there wasn’t much to tell. Maybe
one of George’s favorite movies was A Clear and Present Danger? Movies can teach
people a lot of things about how to handle situations that may arise. One thing that a
person doesn’t do is issue Get Out of Jail Free Cards. Another is not leaving a paper
trail. The last person to get involved in any wrongdoing is the Chief of Staff or the Na-
tional Security Advisor. These people are too closely identified with the President and if
they go down…

Congress should have been worried about the worst disaster in the history of the United
States. Instead, they were consumed with bringing down the White House. This was
2005 and Bush hadn’t served a full year of his second term. John Kerry and Teddy
Kennedy had the answer. All of the corruption was because too many people in Ameri-
ca had assault rifles and Bush was trying to pack the federal courts with conservatives.
Huh?

The first of October 2005 saw the tunnel finished, covered over and Bruce and Mona
had enough survival supplies for a year or more. Barney kissed the bride, several times.
Cindy had decided that she needed to have that baby before she got too old and both
she and Mona were pregnant. Thank God the Internet was still up. You’d be surprised
what you can buy on the Internet, like linked 7.62×51mm ammo. It’s surplus, but it still
shoots just fine, they checked it out. You can’t buy grenades for the M203s on the
M16A3 rifles, but there was always Barney. Did you notice how Barney seemed to deal
in hard to get items? If it was legal, he probably didn’t have it; otherwise, how many did
you want?

Since they had 2 of the M16A3/M203s, they figured that 72 grenades, 36 apiece, were
probably enough. They weren’t looking to start a war, only defend themselves. The first
move on the part of whoever came against Mona. Mona had her new concealment
purse and her Browning Hi-Power plus 7 times 15 rounds of ammo and a suppressor
available. She also had a cell phone and when a chip of wood flew off a tree, she
ducked, covered, pulled her weapon and called Bruce for help. Bruce got Jack and Cin-
dy and they took the suppressed MP5/10-Ns and their suppressed pistols. By the time
they arrived at the school, whoever had taken a shot at Mona was long gone.

None of them were looking forward to a confrontation that would result in shots being
fired. They had all fired their weapons, thousands of times, but had never shot another
human being before. (Neither have I) The next day, they went shopping and bought lev-
el IIIA bullet-proof clothing. Not the standard stuff; they bought the special stuff that
looks like ordinary clothing. Jack went to see the Assistant Director of Intelligence and
explained what was happening. All he wanted was permission for Cindy and him to car-

67
ry their weapons into the buildings at Langley. The ADI told Jack he’d check on it and
not to carry the weapons until he gave Jack permission.

The ADI ran it by the DI who ran it by the DCI. The DCI took all of 10 seconds to give
permission. And then he requested that Jack and Cindy appear in his office just before
lunch and have lunch with him. CIA analysts don’t decline lunch requests from the DCI,
mostly because they never get them. Very seldom does a CIA analyst brief the Presi-
dent of the US, like Jack Ryan did in the movies. Hell, they don’t even travel in the same
circles as the DCI, let alone GWB.

“Someone tried to take Mona Jenkins out?” the DCI observed. “This is the first that I’ve
heard of it.”

“She wasn’t without protection, Mr. Director. I got the 4 of us official State of Virginia
CCW’s, by pulling a few strings with an old friend. When it went down, she reacted im-
mediately, went to cover and called Bruce on her cell phone. By the time we showed up,
whoever was behind it was gone.”

“First off, I’ll make arrangements for the 4 of you to have federal CCWs. You’ve had
them before, right?”

“Yes sir. We had them when we did that survey of abuses at the FEMA Camps.”

“Nice article Bruce wrote up for the Washington Post. Maybe you guys used a pseudo-
nym, but his writing style was unmistakable. What is your situation at home? Did you
get the tunnel finished?”

“I suppose you know what we had for breakfast, too?”

“I’m only having a couple of people keep a loose watch over your homes. Maybe I
should tighten security a little.”

“Mona and Cindy are expecting and anything that you can do to keep them a little safer
would be appreciated.”

“I didn’t know that. Congratulations. This isn’t like The Firm where we have your houses
wired for sound and video, you know.”

“In Patriot Games, Jack Ryan had his house wired up and connected to the Agency,”
Jack pointed out.

“I didn’t say we couldn’t do it, only that we hadn’t.”

“I wouldn’t mind having an alarm in our home connected directly to the Agency. I can’t
imagine that Bruce would object either.”

68
“You do know that our Charter prevents us from operating on US soil, don’t you?”

“It’s never stopped the Agency before, why should it now?” Cindy asked.

“I’ll take care of it and have alarms installed. Are you covered on weapons, in case of
more trouble?”

“You heard that the HMWWV we were driving crashed, right?”

“Blown tire? Crashed? Caught fire? I heard.”

“The DHS and the USSS had to write off a lot of weapons. 4 MP5/10-Ns, 2 HK G2KA4s,
and so forth. We’re very well covered, thank you.”

“Thanks for joining me for lunch. It has been very enlightening.”

“Thank You, Mr. Director. I always wanted to see your office,” Jack replied.

“And?”

“Ehhh…”

When they got home that evening, their house was locked up the same as always.
However, there were several new alarm pads, one in every room, including the johns.
Slick. There were circles within circles within circles. Working our way down, there was
the war in Iraq and American troops occupying the former Saudi Arabia. At home, the
US was recovering from a major terrorist attack. They finally had satellite pictures of the
new calderas and they were substantial. Fortunately the delay in the calderas erupting
had allowed most of the people in the vicinity to escape. Only to end up in camps, some
good and some not so good… The work that Jack and Bruce had done had forced the
administration to clean up the camps and the Army was lending a hand with that. It was
only 4 months into this disaster but it was a multiple disaster in the sense that the Presi-
dent’s precautionary measure of shutting down the nuclear reactors had far reaching
effects. The utilities had to shut down the entire grid and lightning from the ash clouds
took out a lot of power lines. They were slow bringing the reactors back on line, but that
didn’t matter too much because they had to repair power lines.

The lights came back on October 31st. As many deaths were attributed to the power
outage as to the eruptions. The western United States was blanketed with ash. It
reached all of the way east to Ohio. New Yorkers call Ohio the Midwest and Iowa the
West. I wonder if they call California the Far East? (I was in NYC in ‘73, for a lifetime – 3
days) The Army Corps of Engineers was busy working with the state highway depart-
ments to clear the remainder of the roads.

69
The next circle was what was happening to our 4 friends. Somebody somewhere wasn’t
very happy about Jack and Bruce exposing the truth about the FEMA Camps. How
would killing these 4 people now make any difference? The Washington Post milked the
story for all it was worth. Then the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune and the LA
Times expressed their opinions. CNN was saying that Bush should resign and Geraldo
claimed he had the real story and would reveal it on a 2-hour special. Life was back to
normal, sort of. Winter had come very early and it was, as expected, very cold. NOAA
was suggesting that it would take a minimum of 3 years for the air to completely clear
and until it did, the US and most of the Northern Hemisphere was in for extremely cold
weather and a greatly reduced growing season.

The US could no longer support the war in Iraq and the troops were pulled from Iraq to
Saudi Arabia, now called Arabia, to protect America’s new oil supply. The Russian’s ob-
jected to the United States forward basing the B-2’s and B-52’s in the Middle East.
However, the Russians couldn’t really do much about it because it was an accom-
plished fact and they were having plenty of terrorist problems of their own. The only
people really having any fun at all were a bunch of Muslim’s down in México. And even
they were having trouble because their arms were sore from patting themselves on the
back.

If you think the US had enemies before, consider the fact that we weren’t importing any
oil from anyone except our new Territory, Arabia. We’d come off of DEFCON 2 and
were down to DEFCON 3. The Threat Level had been reduced but only from Red to Or-
ange. At DEFCON 3, most of the SSBNs and SSGNs in service were at sea, as were
most of the carrier battle groups. We were 80% deployed and the ships only returned to
port long enough to replenish and change crews. The hands on the clock were now at 3
minutes to midnight, a worsening of 4 seconds to midnight. Factories were churning out
F-22 Raptors at twice the normal pace. The DOD let a second contract for more Rap-
tors, this time using the money from Arabian oil to pay for them. They wanted to boost
the fleet to the original 648 Raptors. They were also using the Arabian money for a con-
tract to increase production of the F/A-18 Super Hornets. The Joint Strike Fighter, the F-
35, was still in testing.

On 29 December 2003 the US Navy awarded Boeing a multiyear procurement contract

valued at $8.6 billion for the production of an additional 210 F/A-18 Super Hornets. Un-
der the terms of the multiyear contract, the Navy would purchase 42 aircraft in each of
the fiscal years 2005 through 2009. The agreement provided the Navy with the flexibility
to increase the quantity of aircraft on order by as many as six aircraft per year. Deliver-
ies for aircraft purchased in the second multiyear will begin in fiscal year 2007. The
DOD told the manufacturers to increase production of the fighters to double what they
had been scheduled to deliver. Money was no longer an object. If they could have
rushed the production of the G.H.W. Bush, the final Nimitz class carrier, I’m sure they
would have. The same could probably be said for the Virginia class submarines.

70
Even with the former director of DHS flapping his yap to Congress, there was no link to
the White House, and George was off the hook for that escapade. Congress turned its
attention to the bombing of Saudi Arabia. The eruption of the calderas was playing third
fiddle to politics. It was the old, if the left one don’t get you, maybe the right one will rou-
tine. Congress was being Congress and going nowhere, at Mach 3. The United Nations
censured the United States for bombing Saudi Arabia. Condi Rice tried to reason with
them and she was getting nowhere, at Mach 3. North Korea tested a nuclear weapon
and China washed its hands of the 6-nation talks. Surprised?

When a second attempt was made on Mona, she found out that she had a Guardian
Angel. The DCI had increased security; he just didn’t talk about it. The attackers got
away and Bruce begged Mona to quit college at the end of the semester and not return
until after the baby was born. Mona was frightened and she agreed. The semester was
scheduled to end in January of 2006. Jack sent a one-word message to the DCI that
said, “Thanks.” He received back a message: “Don’t mention it – to anyone.” Jack
showed the reply to Bruce.

“I never thought I’d see the day when I was happy that the CIA was violating their Char-
ter,” Bruce grinned.

“They aren’t. They can’t. Just forget you read the message, ok?”

“They aren’t too happy at the Times about one of their reporters carrying 24/7.”

“They’ll just have to get over it, won’t they? I figured they’d make a single try, but two
was more than I expected. I also thought that whoever they are would attack our
homes, not us as individuals. Of the 4 of us, Mona was the least involved.”

“True, but of the 4 of us, she gives every appearance of being the most vulnerable.”

“Maybe you could hire Kevin Costner to guard her body.”

“Hell, Barney would guard her body for free, he might even pay me. No, I don’t think so.
School will be out in a couple of months and she’s staying home until after the baby
comes. When is Cindy going to take maternity leave?”

“She could work right up until before the baby comes, but if Mona is going to be home,
I’ll talk to her about taking off when Mona finishes the semester. I have the impression
that the DCI might place her on TDY, at home, keeping an eye on Mona. That would
allow him to cut the sizes of the teams he is using.”

“How much longer is this crap going to go on? Are we going to be looking over our
shoulders for the rest of our lives?”

71
“I shouldn’t think so. I suspect that Operations and Intelligence are working together, for
a change, to put a stop to this. I’m reasonably certain they will succeed and someday
we’ll be told that the coast is clear.”

“The American public has the general impression that the Agency is very inept.”

“We want the American public to believe that. We did get sloppy for a while, mostly due
to funding cuts, but that’s all changed. If the American public believes we’re inept and
sloppy, so do the other countries. At the height of the Cold War the Agency was running
some very successful operations. There really was a Cardinal of the Kremlin; Clancy
wasn’t entirely making it up. He didn’t know that, but he was more right than wrong.”

“What about DeMille and his Charm School? Fact or fiction?”

“Well, we can’t be totally sure, but probably more fact than DeMille realized. I’ve always
been on the China desk, so I don’t really know. You do know that the guys who planted
the nukes ended up in Puerto Vallarta, right?”

“I didn’t even know that we knew who planted the nukes.”

“It’s been 4 months and it wasn’t like they were really hiding. We heard about a group of
Muslims, Saudis actually, living it up in México and checked into it. When we got to back
tracking their movements, we placed them in California and Wyoming about a week be-
fore the bombs went off and some of the others in North Platte, Nebraska. Do you still
think the CIA is inept?”

“What’s going to happen to them?”

“There isn’t any Saudi Arabia anymore so I’d speculate that they simply be killed in
place.”

“Wouldn’t the government get more mileage out of capturing and trying them?”

“And prove what? I think that killing them and leaving the bodies lay without any sem-
blance of an explanation will send a bigger message to other would be terrorists.”

“Maybe, but they all want to die for the Jihad, don’t they?”

“Right, sacrificing your life detonating a bomb in a Jihad gets you a ticket straight to
Paradise. Getting shot down in the street like a dog doesn’t, no matter what you did be-
fore. Only a few people will have any idea what these people did. I’d further speculate
that it will be made to look like a drug deal gone wrong. What glory is there in that?”

“Congress announced that they’re going to probe the bombing of Saudi Arabia.”

72
“That won’t get very far. It was Congressional Leaders that pressured Bush into drop-
ping the bombs.”

TOKYO – Friction between Japan and China over the events of World War II has esca-
lated to a level that threatens to destabilize the region, according to scholars who warn
that hostilities could result unless calmer heads prevail. “Leaders are playing to nation-
alism, because that’s all they have as glue,” said Andrew Horvat, visiting fellow at Tokyo
Keizai University.

In China, President Hu Jintao and other leaders struggle to maintain the legitimacy of
the Communist Party. In Japan, Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi presides over a flag-
ging economy. The latest in a series of tit-for-tat exchanges has Japan fuming over a
high–profile snub by China early last week. Just hours before Mr. Koizumi was to meet
Chinese Vice Prime Minister Wu Yi in Tokyo – a meeting requested by China – Beijing
canceled.

Shandong – The strengthening China-South Korea ties are being driven by China’s
dramatic rise, which has rippled throughout Asia. Even as South Koreans draw closer to
their giant neighbor, Japanese investors are considering pulling back from China amid
increasing friction between the two nations.

The Japanese must have forgotten that the Chinese have over 400 nuclear weapons.

French voters have rejected adopting the EU Constitution, according the exit polls.
Should the exit polls be confirmed, the result would be a blow to the government of
President Jacques Chirac, who led the yes camp. The charter lays out the future path of
the 25-member organization on key issues including common foreign policy.

A US Marine was killed Saturday when the vehicle in which he was riding was struck by
a roadside bomb in western Iraq, the US military said. The death brought the number of
US troops killed in the Iraq war to 1,656, according to US military reports. The Marine
was assigned to 2nd Force Service Support Group (Forward), 2nd Marine Expeditionary
Force (Forward), the military said.

I’m not renaming the story to Conspiracy Theory even though it might contain a few
conspiracies. A conspiracy is where two or more individuals act in concert in a secret

73
agreement to do an unlawful or wrongful act or to use such means to accomplish a law-
ful end. A conspiracy is difficult to prove. Still it beats not prosecuting a person for a
crime you know they committed but have no evidence of. Conspiracies are made pun-
ishable because of the increased danger involved in-group offenses. Examples of group
offenses, which are not conspiracies include: adultery, bigamy, incest, dueling, receiving
stolen goods, prohibited sale of contraband and bribery, all of which require two or more
people and are illegal.

The killing of the terrorists in Puerto Vallarta didn’t even merit a mention on American
TV. It got a single, small paragraph in the Washington Times, but only because Bruce
saw the item on the wire and insisted that it was published. No other newspaper picked
it up. Al Jazeera had a lot to say on the death of the Muslims in México. It called the
dead men martyrs and heroes but didn’t come right out and say what they did to earn
that status. Neither did they mention the apparent drug deal gone wrong. Cindy thought
that most peculiar, usually Al Jazeera (Headquartered on Doha, Qatar) wasn’t hesitant
to expound at length about anything anti-American. Maybe the bombers in Saudi Ara-
bia, er, Arabia, were having an effect, or was it the willingness of GWB to drop neutron
bombs that frightened people? Very few people knew the real story about why GWB
had bombed the Saudis, there was a news blackout on the subject until January 20,
2009.

Is the third time really a charm? It depends. If you’re the conspirators who missed for a
third time, it isn’t. If you were the person who was missed for the third time, it was. This
time it got nasty. A van pulled up in front of Bruce and Mona’s home and the side door
opened. Two men got out and began to spray the house with automatic weapons fire.
The ladies were in the basement. They hit the silent alarm and took the tunnel to Bruce
and Mona’s shelter. The guys who weren’t there killed the gunmen. A short while later,
another van pulled up and cleaned up the mess. A few hours after everything started,
there weren’t even any bullet holes in the house because they had been patched and
painted over. The DCI let Jack know that there’d been a problem but that it was handled
and the wives were ok. It sure would be nice if the CIA had a cleanup squad. But ap-
parently the event was a non-event that never happened, so what was there to clean
up? It had happened on a Saturday and Jack and Bruce were putting in a little extra
time on their jobs.

The conspirators got worried because up until now, they weren’t certain that the Agency
was involved. When an event becomes a non-event in a matter of hours, it indicated
that the CIA had used a cleanup squad. On the other side of the coin, the Agency was
perplexed. They were readily able to identify the assassins, but they had all been dead
for years, according to their military records.

“Are the two of you ok?”

74
“We were in the basement when the shooting started. We hit the alarm and went to the
shelter. They got the shooters, you know.”

“Dead men can’t talk.”

“But they’ll be able to identify them, won’t they?”

“Probably, but that won’t tell us who they were working for.”

“What about the vehicle?”

“That was probably stolen just for this attack. Attacking the house as they did was ama-
teurish, but these guys weren’t amateurs. The only conclusion I can draw is that they
were ordered to do what they did. Maybe someone is panicking.”

“If they weren’t,” Bruce added, “They must be now.”

Ring…

“Jack Casey. Yes Sir, they’re fine. Do you really think that is necessary? Yes Sir, I’ll
keep you informed.”

Don’t you just hate one-sided conversations?

“What was that about honey?”

“It was the DCI. He wanted to make sure that the two of you were ok. He put us on ad-
ministrative leave at full pay. He wants me to let him know if anything out of the ordinary
happens.”

“Geez, Jack! Out of the ordinary? This shooting was ordinary for cripes sake? The
Times said I could switch to 4 10-hour days and starting Monday, that’s just exactly
what I’m going to do.”

“This thing gives me a real feeling of helplessness, honey,” Cindy continued. “In all the
years we’ve worked at the Agency, I can’t believe I’ve ever seen anything like this, ex-
cept maybe in the movies.”

“What of the other weapons in America?”

“The storage locker was prepaid for 3 years.”

“It will be difficult to get into the country, they’ve sealed their borders.”

75
“Their borders are like a sieve.”

“There are no other major targets.”

“The Americans have over 100 nuclear reactors. The western part of their country is
filled with volcanoes. They have several large dams. We only have 8 weapons left;
there are more targets than we could ever destroy.”

“The others were found out and killed in the street.”

“It could not have been the Americans. They would have taken them back to their coun-
try and had a show trial. Very foolish people, these Americans.”

“We drove them from Iraq!”

“Fool. They left of their own accord. They have what they really wanted all of the time,
our oil. We will wait until they have their country cleaned up and have lessened their se-
curity, just as they always do. Then, we will go to México and cross the border into Ari-
zona. The weapons are in Phoenix.”

“The National Weather Service says that we’re going to get up to 24” of snow, maybe
more. There is no way anyone is going to be able to move around in that stuff. I guess
we’re safe for a couple of days, Jack.”

“They said that New York might get as much as 5’, Bruce. The Discovery Channel was
talking about the abrupt climate change thing last night, did you catch the program?”

“We had on a Star Trek rerun. I’m very familiar with the scenario that Schwartz and
Randall wrote. I studied it extensively when I was going to do the project with National
Geographic.”

“They mentioned it, but the thing is those guys were talking about a gradual warming
period. What we have is more like a nuclear or artificial winter.”

“That was the purpose of that study, Jack. Would an eruption of a Supervolcano put so
much gas in the air that when the ash settled the earth would warm up at an extraordi-
nary rate and melt the icecaps which would halt the Gulf Stream?”

“Discovery seemed to think that this artificial winter could last for 10 years. I think that
would refreeze some of the water and we might be able to avoid the abrupt climate
change Schwartz and Randall talked about.”

76
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 9 – Carl Sagan Was Right

Carl Sagan and others hypothesized that if the world were struck by a nuclear war,
large volumes of smoke would enter the atmosphere and obscure the sun, causing a
drop in the temperature of the planet. They called the effect, Nuclear Winter. If you’ve
seen the specials on Supervolcano eruptions, the scientists have the same speculation,
except that it would be ash that blocks the sun. There is ample evidence in modern
times to support their contention. The study that Bruce was going to narrate for National
Geographic was intended to take that issue one step further. Bruce was taking notes;
maybe there was a book in this, down the road.

Mona and Bruce went to Salina for Thanksgiving and Jack and Cindy went to Wichita.
Mona’s parents were now back in their home in Aurora and the couple planned to
Christmas with them while Jack and Cindy made the trip to New York State. They didn’t
go anywhere without looking like an Army unit loaded for bear and looking for a fight.
The federal CCW’s bailed them out a couple of times when a local wanted to know what
they were doing with this or that weapon and the suppressors. Their federal CCW’s
listed all of their weapons and the suppressors were noted. Once, Jack had to dig out
his Agency ID, but the odds were that Deputy local yokel didn’t know what they looked
like in the first place and he just wanted to see what a CIA ID looked like. I’ve known
several people with the CIA in my lifetime and I’ve never seen one.

They had shadows everywhere they went, even if the sun wasn’t shining. Just a couple
of average looking guys who you’d never notice until you’d seen them one too many
times. At first, Jack thought maybe they were the men who had tried to kill Mona or one
of their group. He put in a call to check and the men were described to him and he was
told to ignore them. Another time the same thing occurred when he was with Bruce and
his call produced the same result. If there were anyone shadowing them, they had
probably seen the vehicles too. There were no further attempts on any of the four.

Traveling cross-country was really a challenge during this winter. The snow was butt
deep on a 9’ Indian. Winter came early and NOAA said spring was coming late. Carl
Sagan and the others had predicted a shortened growing season. Before the eruptions
the population of the US was 300+ million and the eruptions hadn’t really killed that
many people so it was still 300+ million. That is until winter set in. There wasn’t any
shortage of fuel oil or petroleum products; the problem was making deliveries to the
people who needed it. Fuel oil is still widely used in the Northeastern United States.
Some years the problem is a shortage, high prices or both. During 2005 and into 2006,
the problem was going to be distribution. Most people used several tank refills during
the course of a normal winter. The price of fuel oil is roughly comparable with the price
of diesel fuel or slightly cheaper.

There were two serious problems facing the country at the moment. The first was the
inability to deliver fuel/food and the second was the inability of people to get to work to
earn the money to buy the fuel/food. A revamped FEMA was forced to open new shel-
ters to keep people warm and feed them. People were a little suspicious of FEMA after

77
the scandal about the camps that Jack and Bruce uncovered. Congress would have
probably held more hearings had they been able to get to work. North of the Mason-
Dixon Line the country was moving at a snail’s pace. What is the Mason-Dixon Line?

In any discussion of the Mason-Dixon Line it is vital to distinguish between the two very
different meanings of the term, as follows:

On the one hand, the original Mason-Dixon Line, as surveyed by Charles Mason and
Jeremiah Dixon in 1763 to 1767, which is precisely defined and restricted to the Penn-
sylvania/Maryland border (which runs east-west) and that part of the Mary-
land/Delaware border which runs approximately north-south.

On the other hand, the later various colloquial meanings given to the term “Mason-
Dixon Line”, such as the border between the free states and the slave states in the first
half of the eighteenth century, or the border between the Union states and the Confed-
erate states during the American Civil War. These meanings are inconsistent with each
other and with the course of the original Mason-Dixon Line as surveyed by Mason and
Dixon. Opinions vary considerably as to the precise route of the Line under this mean-
ing.

From 1820 onward the name Mason-Dixon Line came in general colloquial usage to
mean the boundary between the free states and the slave states. It therefore included
not only the original Mason-Dixon Line as surveyed by Mason and Dixon but also that
part of the Pennsylvania/Ohio border from the southwestern corner of Pennsylvania to
where the Ohio river crosses this border, the route of the Ohio River from that point to
where it flows into the Mississippi, the eastern, northern and western borders of Mis-
souri, and the 36 degrees 30 minutes parallel westward from the southwestern corner of
Missouri (which extends across present-day Oklahoma to run along the southern edge
of the Oklahoma panhandle and then across northern present-day New Mexico). How-
ever, according to some sources the route ran across part of Indiana and Illinois rather
than along the river.

The 36 degrees 30 minutes parallel had been established by the Missouri Compromise
of 1820 as the border between slave and free states in the Louisiana Purchase. Inci-
dentally, the Virginia/North Carolina border, the Kentucky/Tennessee border and the
Missouri/Arkansas border all run for most of their lengths within about 10 minutes of this
parallel, although in the east this was never the border between the free states and the
slave states. The Mason-Dixon Line is all that separates us damn Yankees from you
Johnny Rebs. The American Civil War should have been a warning to the world that the
US was a powerful industrial nation not to be dallied with.

Not to belittle the obvious but the assassins were more than a little incompetent and
learned the meaning of 3 strikes and you’re out. I said military records, but I didn’t say
what they did in the military. They weren’t SEALS or members of any of the other Spe-

78
cial Forces. They were just 3 soldiers listed as KIA in the Gulf War in 1991. They were
identified from their fingerprints and the identities confirmed from dental records. To the
best of my knowledge the US only had 1 MIA from that war, a pilot who was shot down
and supposedly captured. Bush had the American Forces looking all over for the guy in
2003. They didn’t find him, if I recall correctly. Every other American soldier and airman
killed in the Gulf War had been brought home and buried, hadn’t they?

Interfering with the little FEMA camp operation had made the two men, and by exten-
sion their wives, some very powerful enemies, who at the moment, were lying low and
regrouping. Think food for oil scandal only these were opportunists trying to capitalize
on American misery. A few palms were greased and they provided the contract security
forces and took over the camps using bribes or coercion. They’d also arranged for the
use of a secret tribunal to put the people in prison and bury their little conspiracy. Which
of the two Shadow Governments was behind this?

The Indian climbed on a stump and they canceled their plans to Christmas in Nebraska
and New York. Bruce was down to working 2½ days a week, 2 16-hour days and 1 8-
hour day; still 40 hours, divided differently. Nature was in charge of the employment sit-
uation in the Northern Hemisphere in the winter of 2005-2006. Local governments were
in charge of snow removal in the cities and the states and the feds struggled to keep a
few key Interstate highways open to permit the delivery of fuel oil and food. Is it always
about oil and food?

FEMA opened several new facilities, not camps, in local High School Gymnasiums.
People were being fed and there wasn’t any scandal involved this time. It seemed as if
they would just get over one storm and another would come in from the west and fill the
streets with snow and grind everything to a halt again. Carl Sagan and his associates
had been right, but they hadn’t anticipated 5 1kt bombs being used to cause explosive
super eruptions of the Yellowstone and Long Valley Calderas. The effects were much
the same, maybe worse.

When it became apparent to the DCI that there weren’t going to be any further attempts
on Jack, Cindy, Bruce and Mona, he called off the troops. He set Jack and Cindy up
with a dedicated, secure T-3 line and they were able to work from home, using direct
access to the CIA mainframe. Cindy’s skills were needed more than Jack’s, something
was brewing in the Middle East and this time it involved Syria and Iran. The Syrians had
Saddam’s WMDs – remember? Saddam and the Ayatollahs didn’t get along too well.
So, if something was brewing between Iran and Syria, it must be big.

Iran was building their breeder reactors and the first one had come online in late fall
2005. They hadn’t gotten their enriched uranium fuel from Russia, too many strings.
Some said the South Africans were involved, but that was only an unconfirmed rumor.
They were producing plutonium as fast as possible – it takes a while. The reactors were
underground, hidden from the view of the American satellites. Some said the French
were involved supplying critical components the Iranians couldn’t get from the Russians.
That was very possible given the state of the French economy. You do know that nearly

79
⅓ of the Frenchmen and Russians are alcoholics, don’t you? They have the highest
rates of alcoholism in the world and are nearly tied, at 33%. In the US, the official rate of
alcoholism is 10%, but in real life, it’s closer to 20%.

Back up. A T-3 line is equal to 28 T-1 lines, minimum, and it didn’t take much extra ef-
fort to take one of those T-1 lines and run it, via the tunnel, to Bruce and Mona’s. Bruce
arranged to work from home too. His Editor said this was an experiment and if he could
maintain his work volume generating background on this extraordinary winter, he might
get a raise. If he didn’t, he could get in the unemployment line too. With T-1 access to
the Internet, Bruce was generating volumes of work. In March 2006, he got the raise.
Nice guy the DCI. Not! He was trying to get on Bruce’s good side so he could recruit
him to the Agency. They always had a place for historians on analyst’s desks, too.

“I’ve been searching NOAA’s forecasts and I think we’re in for about 5 years of this,”
Bruce told Jack.

“Hey buddy, you’re only seeing the records they put on the Internet for public consump-
tion. Do you want me to talk to the DI and see if I can arrange access to the non-public
records?”

“I wouldn’t mind, but I really don’t want to get in trouble. Did you ever know a reporter to
turn down access to secret government information?”

“It could be arranged if you were a part-time employee of the Agency.”

“Me, a spook? Bite your tongue.”

“The Agency historically has used reporters for field work. Being a reporter is a perfect
cover and reporters can ask direct questions that a spy never could. You’d keep you job
with the Times and probably be a contractor paid on the basis of the value of any infor-
mation you provided. There’s a nominal retainer, of course.”

“The next thing you’re going to do is try and recruit Mona.”

“The DCI said he had a job for her whenever she was ready to come to work.”

“She wants to finish Grad School. And since when did you get so cozy with the DCI?”

“I’m not, but he invited me to lunch a second time and did happen to mention the re-
porter thing and having a position for Mona.”

“What’s going on Jack? Working at home; a T-3 line; and now, offers of jobs?”

80
“You seem to be pretty good ferreting out information on the Internet, Bruce. Look at
how much information you generated without access to the non-public NOAA records.
The information about the Shadow Government is all out on the Internet waiting for
someone to discover it and put it together. The DCI implied that those were the people
behind the attempts on Mona.”

“What do Dick Cheney and 100 highly placed government officials have to do with trying
to kill us?”

“Not that Shadow Government, the real Shadow Government.”

“What are you talking about, the real Shadow Government?”

“I’d suggest that you take the job with the Agency and begin spending your spare time
researching the Trilateral Commission and their parent organization, The Round Table.”

“Would I get access to the Agency mainframe?”

“Only employees of the Agency have access to the mainframe.”

“I don’t really like the idea of spying on my own country, you know.”

“You would be spying on the people who would be Kings.”

“And Mona can get a job, too?”

“That would be mandatory before the DCI would ever put in your own T-3 line.”

“I talk to her about it.”

“Working for the Agency has several perks and bennies the average person doesn’t re-
ally think about.”

“But Cindy and you are just analysts in the Intelligence Directorate, right?”

“Right,” Jack answered after he crossed his fingers.

“So basically you’re only suggesting that Mona and I become either full-time or part-time
analysts, too.”

“Right,” Jack replied with his fingers still crossed.

“Childish? Maybe. But Jack could later argue that his fingers were crossed and he was
only telling a little white lie for the sake of expediency. Being analysts in the Intelligence
Directorate was about as perfect a cover as two people could get. They could even beat
a lie detector by simply telling the truth, the partial truth, and omitting certain facts. You

81
didn’t really think the DCI would get them federal CCW’s on a whim, did you? The DCI
is the US’s head spook, and he’s just naturally a little devious. The first civilian DCI was
Allen Dulles, a big shot with the OSS during WW II. Allen Welsh Dulles was the younger
brother of John Foster Dulles, Eisenhower’s Secretary of State.

At Dulles’ request, President Eisenhower demanded that Senator McCarthy discontinue

issuing subpoenas against the CIA. McCarthy had initiated a series of investigations in-
to potential communist subversion of the Agency. Although none of the investigations
revealed any wrongdoing, the hearings were still potentially damaging, not only to the
CIA’s reputation, but to the security of sensitive information as well. During the time,
Dulles was personally overseeing Operation Mockingbird, a program which influenced
American media companies. I don’t make all of this stuff up.

“I can’t see myself working for the Agency, Bruce. All I ever wanted was to be a History
Teacher.”

“I don’t want to be a spy either, Mona. But, analysts only evaluate information; they
don’t get involved in Operations.”

“Do you have any idea how much being a spy pays?”

“Not really, but a T-3 line costs $10,000 a month. That’s almost as much as I make
working for the Times. If that’s the overhead, the job must pay fairly well.”

Being an analyst pays well, but not THAT well. The real money in working for the Agen-
cy comes with being an Operations field employee with access to vast amounts of cash
to do dirty little tricks. Jack and Cindy paid cash for their house did I mention that? I
wonder where that money came from. What are the odds of a building contractor build-
ing 4 homes in the same neighborhood, all equipped with fancy survival shelters? I
guess that depends upon who the building contractor was working for, doesn’t it? Noth-
ing happens in a vacuum. Why would a CIA analyst/operative go to work for DHS? To
keep track of the competition?

“Well, ok, but I’m only going to be an analyst.”

“I’ll tell Jack.”

+++

“Great, Bruce, I’ll pass it along to the DI.”

“Don’t you have to run background checks and all that sort of stuff?”

82
“Of course we do. That was done before I made the offer. You won’t have to do any-
thing. They already have your prints and pictures from when you were issued the feder-
al CCW’s”

“What’s next?”

“We extend the other T-3 line from my house to your house and install the new comput-
ers. Do the two of you want to be set up for direct deposit or cash?”

“Direct Deposit. Maybe if I don’t see the money, my conscience will be clearer.”

“Intelligence operations and analysis are a necessary part of how every country does
business, Bruce. Not having second thoughts, are you?”

With the new system and a 45mbps line, Bruce was able to do his job for the Times in
about 12 hours a week. That left plenty of time for Mona and him to do research on the
Shadow Government. They set the equipment up in their shelter instead of their home.
The two of them were pulling in as much money per month as the typical Harvard MBA,
that is to say, $140,000 per year from EACH of their 3 jobs. They paid off the house af-
ter a couple of months. When the weather was clear, they went to the Agency and used
the firing range to maintain their proficiency with their firearms, just in case.

“We will be moving to United States in July of this year.”

“So soon? Have the Americans cleaned up their country so quickly?”

“No. They are having a terrible time with the weather. He says that we need to go now
while they are occupied preparing for the next winter. The operation isn’t scheduled for
a couple of years. We can go to an American University as a cover.”

“Where are we going?”

“We can either go to Dearborn, Michigan or Pasadena, California.”

“Let’s go to Pasadena, it is far too cold in Dearborn.”

“There are more of our countrymen in Detroit. No one would even notice our presence.
We have genuine student Visa’s so we can enter the country legally.”

“What country are our Passports from? What is my new name to be?”

“The Passports are Israeli. The Americans love the Jewish dogs.”

83
“May Allah forgive us.”

Warm weather in the United States meant that people were able to return to their
homes. It had been a very long, cold and uncomfortable winter. With the roads open,
people were able to get to their jobs and most companies were running 24/7 trying to
catch up with demand. People used the extra money to put in additional fuel tanks and
store extra food. None of the American crop surplus was being exported in 2006. The
crops from 2005 didn’t amount to much of anything, too much ash, and a very limited
harvest. The crops of 2006 wouldn’t amount to much of anything either because there
wasn’t enough water, sun or time. Not enough water because rain requires moisture in
the atmosphere and moisture gets into the atmosphere through evaporation, which re-
quires the heat of the sun. Not enough sun because, while the sky was noticeably
clearer, if one were to actually filter the air, there was more dust in suspension than one
might have thought. In order to get the dust out of the air, the Northern Hemisphere
needed rain. It was another vicious little circle. Not enough time because lower tem-
peratures shortened the growing season.

People, who could, moved to the south. That wasn’t an option for many because there
weren’t enough jobs in the southern states. With the warmer weather the bad people
began to appear. Within every country there is a certain element that finds it easier to
take from others than to earn a living. Given the harsh winter, it was a localized phe-
nomenon for the months following the terrorist attacks. Once summer came, they came
out of the woodwork, forcing the President to use troops to try and maintain order. Con-
gress naturally objected, citing Posse Comitatus. The President responded issuing a
new EO temporarily suspending Posse Comitatus. Congress objected to the new EO.
They’d have to fight it out in the Bush-packed federal court system. I wonder who would
win.

In other countries, scientists were developing startling new cures by means of embryon-
ic stem cell research. In the United States, people were dying for lack of cures becom-
ing available in other countries. The embryonic stem cells were recovered from de-
ceased fetuses. It wasn’t like they were killing babies to get the embryonic stem cells,
according to some. It was a very emotional issue in the United States.

Stem cells are cells within early embryos prior to implantation in the uterus that have the
potential to create tissues which can be given to patients whose own tissues are miss-
ing or diseased. Currently, stem cells are being used for research to see how this can
be successfully accomplished. There has been much concern by some regarding how
stem cells are obtained for this scientific research. The concern revolves around wheth-
er embryos are being killed in order to remove these special cells. Some feel that em-
bryos even prior to implantation represent potential persons who have rights that in-
clude the right to live and not be killed even to save the life of a patient.

84
To get around this moral dilemma, Mary and Anthony Mahowald writing in The Ameri-
can Journal of Bioethics (volume 2 number 1) suggest an ethical bypass. They argue
that killing and letting die should have the same standard moral and legal distinction in
embryos as it has with persons who have been born. In these persons, organs are not
obtained for research or transplantation by killing the person but are obtained only after
the person has died. The Mahowalds argue that embryos in a Petri dish are more likely
to die than become indisputably persons by being born – even if they are transferred to
a woman’s body for gestation. The great majority are non-viable, which means that they
will die in a short time (the onset of which may be delayed though freezing) no matter
what efforts are made to sustain their development. Since death is certain for thousands
of in vitro embryos, shouldn’t the same standard by which hospital patients are legally
and morally allowed to die be acceptable for them?

... If stem cells are then retrieved from embryos that have expired, the retrieval is moral-
ly analogous to retrieval of vital organs from those who are newly deceased. ... Regard-
less of whether developing embryos are deemed persons, respect for human life in its
earliest stages is compatible with research on stem cells obtained from human embryos
so long as the cells are retrieved from embryos that have been allowed, respectfully, to
die. Since stem cells can be used from recently dead embryos, the ethical bypass by
the Mahowalds could be practical. How do you feel about their argument in defense of
the procurement of stem cells from such embryos? Should embryos that have just died
have more right to their own integrity than a patient who has just died? If not, then there
should be nothing unethical or immoral to obtain their stem cells. Correct? (I’m only
quoting)

If you disagree, I conclude that you DON’T value life. You place the rights of a dead fe-
tus ahead of the rights of living people. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. I’m old and
could give a crap one way or another; I’m simply making an observation. Every coin has
two sides and an edge.

85
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 10 – Searching for Shadows

The interesting thing about shadows is that you can’t really touch them. A shadow is
simply the absence of light caused by a person or object being between the light source
and wherever the light happens to fall. Shadow Government was a perfect name. You
could see it, but you couldn’t really touch it. Bruce and Mona got the Gold and Silver
Queen to invest their extra money in gold and silver too. They also kept theirs in the
safe welded to the shelter floor. They began to accumulate gold because by compari-
son, silver took a lot of volume. They had $5,000 face value in silver and soon were ac-
quiring Krugerrands. The 22-carat Krugerrands were less susceptible to losing their val-
ue due to handling than the 24-carat coins.

Cindy had a girl that they named after her mother and Jack’s mother, Cynthia June. Lit-
tle Cindy came in around 7 pounds and was born on the 15th of April. Mona had a little
boy who they named Robert Edward, after Bruce’s father and a modified version of Ed-
gar. Bobby was born on April 23rd and weighed 6½ pounds. The two ladies began to
immediately workout to regain their figures. Nannies were hired to tend to the babies
through the CIA personnel department. I didn’t know that nannies carried guns, but
these two women did.

The two guys assigned to Jack, back when they had extra protection, turned out to live
in the other two houses with shelters in their neighborhood. One lived 3 doors down
from Bruce in one direction and the other lived 4 doors down from Jack in the other di-
rection. The DCI now proceeded to extend the tunnel, connecting all 4 homes together.
Protection was as close as the basement tunnel. The nannies were the guy’s wives and
they worked for Operations, just like their husbands. Bruce didn’t need to go looking for
a conspiracy; they had one right here in their neighborhood. Not really, to be a conspir-
acy, it had to involve wrongdoing. None other than Oliver Wendell Holmes called such a
situation, that didn’t involve wrongdoing, a combination. You’ve heard of him, right?

Bruce was doing very well with his research for the Times, but Mona and he were get-
ting nowhere on the research into the Shadow Government. As I said, you can’t touch a
shadow, not really. The DCI didn’t care; he had other things in mind for the 4 people. He
suggested, via Jack, that they do some research into the backgrounds of the 3 men who
had been killed attempting to kill Mona the third and final time an attempt was made.
They had great access to records that they didn’t even know existed. Mona and Bruce
were able to examine telephone records online without any sort of search warrant; so
extensive was the CIA’s computer system.

Gen. Richard B. Myers yesterday condemned as absolutely irresponsible an Amnesty

International report that compared prisoner treatment at Guantanamo Bay to the Soviet

86
gulag, adding that 100 out of 68,000 detainees held in the war against terrorism were
abused.

“It’s very small compared to the population of detainees we’ve handled,” said Gen. My-
ers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He also noted that many of the abuses have
produced courts-martial and other punishments.

The London-based human rights organization called the US facility in Guantanamo Bay
the gulag of our time, comparing it to the Soviet Union’s slave-labor camps where mil-
lions of people died.

Amnesty International also suggested that foreign governments investigate senior US

officials involved in torture scandals and arrest and question Defense Secretary Donald
H. Rumsfeld, former CIA Director George Tenet, and Vice President Dick Cheney.

“I think it’s irresponsible. I think it’s absolutely irresponsible,” Gen. Myers told Fox News
Sunday.

Senator John McCain, Arizona Republican, brushed off Amnesty’s suggestion for inves-
tigations of top US officials, saying, that isn’t going to happen, but added that Congress
needs to exercise more diligent oversight of military prison conditions and the treatment
of detainees.

Just a Danged Minute!

Only 68,000 prisoners? Hundreds of thousands Iraqis surrendered to us!

What about the men who the Nazi’s executed for attempting The Great Escape?

What about the American POW’s who the Nazi’s executed during the Battle of the
Bulge?

How many allied prisoners did the German abuse?

Have you ever heard of Bataan?

What about the millions of German soldiers who disappeared in Russian Gulags?

Remember John McCain? Five years in the Hanoi Hilton and I heard it wasn’t pretty.

Remember John Kerry? Three Band-Aids and a couple of stitches…

I could go on, you know…

87
I have the solution – don’t take any prisoners. If they surrender, take them into the shed
and put a bullet in their head when no one is looking. That will solve the problem. No
wait, use your M16 and shoot them in the body, it will look less suspicious. Be careful
that you get your stories straight; we take reporters along with cameras. That’s how our
people get in trouble – somebody with a camera recorded something he/she shouldn’t
have been allowed to record in the first place. And nobody had the courage to take
away the tape/film. Without the tape/film, he/she couldn’t prove anything. Who would
have known about Abu Ghraib if some stupid soldier hadn’t taken pictures? I’d sure
compare making a man wear women’s panties to them disappearing in a gulag or dying
on a death march.

Give me a frigin’ break. The US is its own worst enemy, most of the time. Screw Am-
nesty International!!! Fleataxi is right. Nuke ‘em all and let God sort them out – just be
sure to use neutron bombs and we’ll steal their oil. I’ve got to go take a pill, I’m really
po’d.

BRUSSELS (Reuters) – The United States reactivated its World Trade Organization
(WTO) case against European subsidies for aircraft maker Airbus on Monday after fresh
efforts to reach a negotiated settlement with Brussels failed.

The legal action at the Geneva-based trade body over billions of dollars in aid is likely to
be the largest commercial dispute in history and will put a severe strain on transatlantic
business relations.

The two sides said in a joint statement they would not let their aviation spat spill into
other trade areas, including negotiations with developing nations for a global free trade
blueprint that are due to reach a climax in December.

It’s those damned Frenchmen again… Strain trade? Good, I don’t wear Chanel No. 5
anyway. But, I bought plenty for the Bimbos.

I took the pill – I’m still po’d.

CARACAS, Venezuela (Reuters) – Venezuela may stop allowing visits by American of-
ficials after US immigration authorities canceled the tourist visa of the Venezuelan Su-
preme Court President, the country’s Vice President said.

Vice President Jose Vicente Rangel’s office issued the warning on Monday in a state-
ment criticizing the withdrawal this month of a US visa granted to Venezuela’s top mag-
istrate, Omar Mora.

88
“A lot of Americans come here, officials and senators, and we receive them without
problems,” Rangel said. “But if this kind of policy continues, which attacks Venezuelan
institutions and respectable citizens like the Supreme Court President, we will eventual-
ly have to adopt a similar measure.”

The visa incident seemed likely to further sour relations between Venezuela and its big-
gest oil client the United States.

Leftist Chavez is a fierce critic of US policies and accuses Washington of trying to top-
ple or kill him, a charge dismissed as ridiculous by American officials.

Mora last week condemned the cancellation of his visa as an offense against the dignity
of his position.

They shouldn’t have let the Commie SOB in, in the first place.

ARLINGTON, Va. (Reuters) – Facing mounting casualties in Iraq, President Bush hon-
ored American war dead on Monday and vowed to complete the costly US mission
against Saddam Hussein in Iraq and the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Speaking at Arlington National Cemetery amid public doubts about his stewardship of
the war, Bush claimed the United States was more secure because of the offensives he
tied to the September 11, 2001, attacks on the United States.

“The war on terror has brought great costs,” Bush said after laying a wreath at the Tomb
of the Unknowns, which contains the remains of unidentified US troops from conflicts
going back to World War One. Shortly before he spoke, an Iraqi aircraft crashed north-
east of Baghdad with four Air Force personnel on board.

“For those who have lost loved ones in Afghanistan and Iraq, today is a day of last let-
ters and fresh tears,” he said. “Because of the sacrifices of our men and women in uni-
form, two terror regimes are gone forever, freedom is on the march and America is
more secure.”

More than 1,600 Americans have been killed since Bush ousted Saddam in April 2003.
Seventy US troops have been killed in May, making it the deadliest month for the US
military since January when insurgents tried to derail the first post-Saddam elections in
Iraq.

The United States has spent nearly $300 billion in Iraq and Afghanistan since Septem-
ber 11th.

That man needs to get his head out and smell the ROSES…

89
°

MÉXICO CITY (Reuters) – México’s so-called “Fire Volcano” spewed a column of rock,
ash and lava almost three miles into the sky on Monday in its largest eruption in 15
years, civil protection officials said.

The government was considering evacuating tiny communities around the 12,540-foot
(3,860 meter) Colima volcano in the western state of the same name after the predawn
eruption.

Nah, all these stories about volcanoes just fiction…

LONDON (Reuters) – The euro slid to its lowest level against the dollar in over seven
months on Monday after French voters rejected the European Union constitution, throw-
ing doubts over the political future of the bloc.

Good… BTW, the pill is working.

“Bruce, we have a lead on who might have been involved in those attempts on Mona,
based on some information you and she developed. Would you be interested and hav-
ing a little chat with the fella?”

“You bet your bippy I would.”

“All we’re going to do is bring him in and question him. It doesn’t bother you that this ac-
tion will be outside of the CIA Charter?”

“They tried to kill Mona 3 times, Jack. Not just no, but hell no.”

You do see how they work it, don’t you? They find an issue that your emotions over-
whelm your common sense and/or whatever principles you may have had. The next
thing you know, you’re working for the Operations Directorate instead of the Intelligence
Directorate and you’re cover is perfect because you stay on the payroll of the Intelli-
gence Directorate. They may not even tell you you’re with the Operations Directorate in
the beginning. Your first clue will be when they send you to The Farm in Camp Peary,
VA where you receive Basic Training and Covert Training. By the time that happens,
they have you bent so far over the barrel that there isn’t much you can do about it.

To get you to take that basic training they tell you another little white lie, e.g., this is the
basic training that every CIA employee gets, just so he or she can protect him or her-
self. It serves two purposes. One, you get the basic training; and two, it screens out

90
people who aren’t suitable for covert training. Once you’ve passed basic training and
are approved for covert training you find yourself over the barrel I mentioned. Maybe in
the movie, The Hunt for Red October, Commander Bart Mancuso (Scott Glenn) could
get away with the statement, Central Intelligence Agency... Now, there’s a contradiction
in terms. But that was only a movie. All most of us ever hear about is the CIA’s failures,
not their successes. They’ve had many… some of which are known and widely criti-
cized. Think about all of those petty Latin American Dictators they installed in the fight
against Communism. Well, nobody alive is perfect… unless He’s back. Do you think
Tony would get po’d if we dropped a neutron bomb on Amnesty International. Really? I
was afraid of that.

“I just hired the guys and gave them a sealed envelope.”

“Who hired you?”

“It was anonymous, a voice on the telephone.”

“Which telephone?”

“My cell phone.”

Jack nodded to a man who went to get the envelope holding the guy’s possessions. He
came back and handed the phone to Bruce, who slipped it in his pocket.

“We’ve got to be going. Bruce did you want a minute or two with Mr. Lucky, here?”

“Yes.”

“Enjoy,” Jack said leaving the room.”

“What did he mean by that?” Mr. Lucky asked.

“The woman your thugs tried to kill was my wife.”

“Like I told you, I just gave them an envelope,” Mr. Lucky’s voice trembled.

“Have you ever seen an H&K USP Tactical pistol? They’re a .45ACP that has a sup-
pressor and holds 12-rounds in the magazine. Personally, I prefer the HydraShok bullet,
they really make a mess.”

The man peed his pants and Bruce’s nose told him that had hadn’t stopped there. Bruce
jacked a round into the chamber, slid the magazine the rest of the way in and screwed
on the silencer. Mr. Lucky was handcuffed to a chair and couldn’t move. Bruce pointed

91
the weapon at the man’s head and slowly squeezed the trigger. Mr. Lucky screamed…
and the firing pin fell… on an empty chamber. Mr. Lucky fainted.

Without even realizing it, Bruce has just crossed an invisible line. He secured his weap-
on and left the room. Jack and he headed back home where they could examine the
guy’s cell phone records. Some of the records a person doesn’t see is that the Phone
Company keeps include the number of the calling party. It is associated with the caller
ID program. Computers can tell you everything these days providing you know which
database to search. Bruce and Mona were becoming very proficient at searching com-
puters. They had been provided with a program that would generate a user ID and the
password to any system in a matter of moments and they could walk right in the front
door, no hacking required.

When they got the number, they accessed another database and tracked it down to a
private phone in the office of a mid-upper level government official. Jack suggested that
they pass the information to the Agency and stay out of the matter from this point on.
Bruce and Mona, he said, had to attend Basic Training that all CIA employees were re-
quired to take.

Bruce and Mona passed the Basic Training with flying colors and were selected for Ad-
vanced Training aka Covert Training. About the second day of Advanced Training Bruce
and Mona lost their naïveté when it occurred to them that they were being trained for
the Operations Directorate. Most agents know that from the outset, but not everyone.
Bruce had a word with an instructor about the training and he was told that another Op-
erations Team would have a word with them later in the day. Gee, you’ll never guess
who that Operations Team was, will you? It was Bruce’s best friend and his wife Cindy.

“Dang it Jack, what have Cindy and you gotten Mona and me into?”

“Buddy, the two of you are naturals. This wasn’t my idea but I happen to agree wholly
with the DCI’s selection. Being an operative isn’t about running around like James Bond
killing people, there are specialists for that. Being an operative won’t be any different
than what I described to you in the beginning. Your job is to collect information. Your
cover within the Agency will be that you’re both analysts in the Intelligence Directorate.
Your outside cover will be as a Reporter for the Times. The pay is far better and most of
us in the business hang on to any excess funds so that we have money available if the
need ever arises. The Agency will establish several accounts around the world with a
basic fund for you to use in an emergency. We all have them. Generally we open a sec-
ond account in the same financial institutions and dump unused funds from operations
into those accounts. Haven’t you seen the movie The Bourne Identity and The Bourne
Supremacy based on Robert Ludlum’s books? The next one they’re bringing out is The
Bourne Ultimatum in 2007.

92
A man is washed ashore the beach of a small French village during a heavy storm. A
retired doctor takes care of the unconscious stranger. When the mysterious man recov-
ers, he cannot remember anything – He does not know his name, he does not know
where flashback memories of violence come from, and he sure does not know why the
access code of an anonymous Swiss bank account is implanted in his thigh. As he
searches for his identity, things soon become dangerous. There are attempts to kill him,
he is well known in first class hotels all around Europe, and, worst of all, there are
strange similarities between his memories and reported actions of a high-class terrorist,
Carlos. (Identity)

When a CIA operation to purchase classified Russian documents is blown by a rival

agent – who then shows up in the sleepy seaside village where Bourne and Marie have
been living under assumed names – the pair collapse their lives and head out. Bourne,
who promised retaliation should anyone from his former life attempt contact, is forced to
once again take up his life as a trained assassin to survive. (Supremacy)

“Those were movies.”

“Exactly. Real life isn’t like the movies. Any operative who was as visible as a 007 or a
Bourne wouldn’t last 10 minutes. He fires a weapon more times in a single movie scene
that most agents fire a weapon in their entire career. Do you know anyone with the
Agency as visible as Felix Leiter? Hell, Felix Leiter was in 8 James Bond movies and
they needed 7 different actors to play the part. Only David Hedison played the role more
than once.”

“Why all the subterfuge?”

“Would you have even considered the job if you’d been approached directly.”

“Nope, not for a minute.”

“Like I said, the two of you are naturals. The DCI really wants you. Cindy and I want
you; we’ll be teamed up on a lot of missions the Agency has planned.”

“What missions?”

“Sorry, not until you agree to complete your training and you both pass.”

“Mona, bail me out here.”

“I intend to finish the training Bruce.”

“Crap. Ok, me too.”

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 11 – Graduation Day

Subject to correction, the .32 ACP is the 7.65×17mm Browning cartridge. James Bond
used the 7.65, e.g. .32 ACP Walther PPK, not the more powerful .380. Bond’s gun was
amazing. He could fire 24 shots without stopping to reload. From Dr. No – When shoot-
ing at the dragon, Bond’s gun changes from a Walther PPK to a Colt .45. His gun also
goes into slide lock (indicating empty) twice while shooting, and without visibly reload-
ing, continues to fire. In the same movie when he attaches the silencer to his PPK, the
grip of the gun carries the letters, FN. I’d sure like to have a gun like that. I wonder if Q
has any more of those 24-round magazines? Bond obviously didn’t carry spares or he
would have used them. And, where would he keep them, in his socks? The Agency
didn’t issue a Walther PPK .32ACP to its agents; they’d be better off with clubs. I have
heard that the .32 ACP will kill a sparrow – if you can get the bird to put the pistol in its
beak.

They always make mistakes in movies. Here’s one you might not have been aware of:
While it is possible for the two aircraft to get canopy to canopy like we saw during the
beginning of the movie Top Gun, the F-14 in 1986 couldn’t sustain an inverted state for
more than two minutes. This is due to the that the Number 4½ bearing in the TF30-
P414 engine used at that time not having a return pump for the oil. In the length of time
it would take for the aircraft to get into position, the engines on the Tomcat would have
failed. When this scene was shot, it was the F-5 that was inverted. Well, I just happened
to see a MiG 28 do a... MiG’s only have odd numbers. It was a movie, but geez…

Unlike other graduation ceremonies, your folks don’t get invited to the graduation exer-
cise. The Agency doesn’t even list the names that go with all of the stars on the wall of
the lobby representing agents that were killed in the line of duty. How could revealing
the name after 20 or 30 years compromise any intelligence operations? The words and
stars in the photograph, carved in the marble facade of the north wall of the foyer of the
CIA Headquarters Building, silently but permanently immortalize those CIA officers who
lost their lives in the service of their country. The glass-encased Book of Honor located
below the wall of stars displays the names of those whose names can, in death, now be
revealed. This simple but starkly elegant memorial was sculpted by Harold Vogel in July
1974, having been commissioned by the Fine Arts Commission of the Central Intelli-
gence Agency in May 1973.

Before you give me too hard a time about where the Agency is located, technically, you
could say CIA headquarters is in both Langley and McLean. Langley is the name of the
McLean neighborhood in which the CIA resides. Executive Order 12333 of 1981 explic-
itly prohibits the Central Intelligence Agency from engaging, either directly or indirectly,
in assassinations. Right, but it was repealed by GWB.

94
The CIA carefully selects well-qualified people in nearly all fields of study. Scientists,
engineers, economists, linguists, mathematicians, secretaries, accountants and com-
puter specialists are but a few of the professionals’ continually in demand. Much of the
Agency’s work, like that done in academic institutions, requires research, careful eval-
uation, and writing of reports that end up on the desks of this nation’s policymakers. Ap-
plicants are expected to have a college degree with a minimum GPA of 3.0 and must be
willing to relocate to the Washington, D.C., area. Selection for Agency employment is
highly competitive and employees must successfully complete a polygraph and medical
examination and a background investigation before entering on duty. The Agency en-
dorses equal employment opportunity for all employees.

“You get the weekend off and then we’re headed for Vienna,” Jack announced.

“That’s scary,” Bruce said.

“What’s scary, honey?”

“I got a ticket for Vienna from the Times yesterday. They want me to do an interview.”

+++

“I don’t know who he is behind that mask of his, but I do know when we need him... and
we need him now!”

“Why is a woman in love like a welder? Because they both carry a torch!”

Are you old enough to remember the Batman TV series in 1966? Those were quotes.

I’m confused. Are we talking about Vienna, Austria or Vienna, Virginia? Bruce didn’t
need an airline ticket to get to Vienna, Virginia, so I guess we must be talking about
Austria. The United Nations Industrial Development Organization (UNIDO), the Organi-
zation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), the International Atomic Energy
Agency (IAEA), as well as other United Nations Offices and many international institu-
tions and companies, are located in Vienna. During the Cold War, Vienna was a hotbed
of international espionage owning to its location in neutral Austria, between the Western
and Eastern blocs. And yes, they still have the choir of little boys wearing their shorts
too tight. Vienna has a population of 1.6 million Viennese and 1,000 spies.

Their weapons went into a diplomatic pouch and would be waiting for them when they
got to Vienna. I bet you always wondered how they got them through airport security.
Bruce was scheduled to interview a member of OPEC, a Venezuelan. The Agency had
one set of questions and the Times had a surprising similar list. This ought to be fun,

95
Venezuela was still angry at the US for halting oil imports and canceling the Judge’s Vi-
sa. What the DCI wanted to know was what Venezuela intended to do about it.

Tradecraft can be defined as the means and methods of intelligence and espionage, the
processes used by intelligence officers, operators, and assets (agents) to go about their
business. The intelligence community, as well as ‘non-State actors’ such as al Qaeda,
train personnel in tradecraft dogmatically – a set of rote procedures to accomplish a
purpose. This creates inherent weakness in the personnel – without understanding the
fundamentals of the tradecraft, they can’t improvise, adapt, and overcome very well.
(I’m quoting and somebody else obviously saw the movie, too.)

Any rote procedure creates a vulnerability that can be turned to an opponent’s ad-
vantage, and in this case, perhaps that advantage can lead to identification and neutral-
ization of al Qaeda sleeper agents. The killing of innocents, by any side, in any conflict,
is reprehensible and should be prevented, but not at the cost of limiting the freedoms,
the pursuit of life and liberty that is essential to happiness. It’s like going into a knife fight
with a dull blade and one hand tied behind your back, but to do otherwise makes the
fight, and a victory, meaningless.

He didn’t point out that a dull knife is far more dangerous than a sharp knife… So off the
one reporter and his vacationing friends go to Vienna, Austria. The other three had
something else to do while Bruce interviewed the Venezuelan representative to OPEC.
Bruce took notes, but it was only a cover. The CIA had some individual in Technical
Services who was nicknamed Q. The guy had developed a modified version of a Mont
Blanc fountain pen. In the cap was a recording device built out of nano-technology that
could record up to 3 hours of conversation. The remainder of the pen was genuine and
could be used to take notes or occupy Bruce’s pocket. The mike was so sensitive it
could hear a mouse fart across a crowded room. The only thing Bruce had to remember
was the various nuances on the man’s face as he conducted the interview – for the
Washington Times.

The Venezuelan representative to OPEC didn’t come right out and say it, but it was ap-
parent that they were more than a little angry at the US over the neutron bombs for oil
thing. The United States had been their largest customer. The Calderas erupting had
also seriously affected the weather in the Southern Hemisphere. When people can’t sell
their principal product and they’re hungry, they tend to get very nasty. The Venezuelans’
were added to the long list of countries that hate the United States.

Jack, Cindy and Mona went to meet a Russian counterpart of Jack’s. The Russians and
US might be on opposite sides, but that didn’t mean that their agents didn’t know each
other or hadn’t developed a grudging respect over the years.

Arkady knew all about Bruce and his mission. He even had a snapshot of Bruce enter-
ing OPEC Headquarters. Jack and Cindy explained that Bruce and Mona were fresh out
of school at The Farm. Arkady cautioned that the reporter cover was getting old, hadn’t
the Agency developed something new by now? He also noted Jack’s Mont Blanc foun-

96
tain pen, a device he claimed was invented by a Russian. Mona piped in that Bruce was
really a reporter for the Times. Arkady said he knew, he’d read Bruce’s articles in the
Times. Good stuff, very distinctive style. He asked how the US was going to play the
Venezuelan thing – the Venezuelans’ were almost angry enough to go to war. Jack
suggested that it might be time to install another petty Dictator. Arkady pointed out,
rightly so, that that wasn’t in vogue these days. It worked, the Russians did it too, but
the media was getting better at making mountains out of molehills. He also wanted to
know if Bush had invoked EO 10995 to try and conceal the bombing of Saudi Arabia.

The Russian winter of 2005-2006 had been the worst one in memory. Arkady wanted to
know if those dead guy’s in Puerto Vallarta were the one’s responsible for setting the
bombs. And then he laid a bombshell on the 3 Americans. There were still 8 of the sto-
len (from someone else) nukes that someone else had placed in a storage locker
somewhere in the Southwestern United States. He even had a list of the serial numbers
of the 13 nuclear devices involved in the mad scheme. Arkady wrapped up the conver-
sation with a suggestion that he was retiring and moving to Montana. Jack told him that
much of Montana was buried under several meters of volcanic ash. Arkady insisted that
the Russian satellites showed areas in Montana that weren’t covered in ash. No, he was
moving to Montana, marry a fat American woman; buying a pickup truck and possibly
an RV. (Good movie, wasn’t it?)

As always, should you or any of your force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disa-
vow any knowledge of your actions… Martin Landau and Barbara Bain were divorced in
1993 after 36 years of marriage. Neither remarried. What Secretary? Was the DCI a
Secretary now? Of what? The Trilateral Commission? No. To help preserve the Com-
mission’s unofficial character, members who take up positions in their national admin-
istration give up Trilateral Commission membership. New members are chosen on a na-
tional basis. The procedures used for rotation off and for invitation of new members vary
from national group to national group. Three Chairmen (one from each region), Deputy
Chairmen, and Directors constitute the leadership of the Trilateral Commission, along
with an Executive Committee including 36 other members.

G.H.W. Bush was once a member. Zbigniew Brzezinski and Paul Volcker are Executive
Committee members. Thomas Foley is the current North American Chairman, but Henry
denies membership and he isn’t listed. Did Deep Throat have a German accent? Henry
was considered to be Mr. Clean in the Nixon Administration. Wiki says: Kissinger left
office when former Georgia governor Jimmy Carter defeated Ford at the 1976 elections.
He played a relatively minor role in the Reagan (1981-89) and first Bush (1989-93) ad-
ministrations, mainly because the neo-conservative groups which dominated the Re-
publican Party by 1981 considered Kissinger’s détente policy to have been a form of
appeasement of the Soviet Union. He continued to participate in policy groups such as
the Trilateral Commission and to do political consulting, speaking, and writing. Maybe
Henry is the Secretary, or was. He has been accused of all sorts of war crimes.

97
“What did I tell you, buddy? Nothing to it, now you know what Intelligence is really all
about. Arkady said that there were 8 more of those non-stolen/non-Russian nukes in a
storage locker somewhere in the Southwestern US.”

“Who, what, why, where, when and how?”

“Good questions, are you sure you aren’t a Reporter? Who is I don’t know; what is 8
nukes; why might be to attack the US again; where is in a storage locker somewhere in
the Southwestern US, when is now or in the future; and, how could have been in con-
tainers or smuggled across the Méxican border.”

“Maybe it’s the Syrian – Iranian connection,” Cindy suggested.

“Mona, what was your impression of Arkady?”

“Late 40’s, single, stubby fingers, which probably explains the lack of a wedding ring,
and cold, dead eyes.”

“He did wet work for a while.”

“I thought wet work was a myth.”

“Check this link out, when you get a chance.” (The link is to an article in the CNN ar-
chive about the Markov assassination with Ricin.)

“We’ve switched to gas guns now. One whiff and you have a heart attack, can’t be
traced.”

“We won’t be asked to do things like that will we?”

Jack crossed his fingers, but didn’t answer, at first.

“I doubt it, the Agency uses specialists.”

The mechanical pencil in his pocket, part of the Mont Blanc pen and pencil set, was a…
Mission accomplished. They were debriefed, separately, about the Venezuelan Repre-
sentative’s body language and what Arkady told Jack, Cindy and Mona. It was already
August of 2006. The Basic and Covert schools lasted a while, you know. There was a
new group of Israeli students in Detroit getting ready for the next semester at the Uni-
versity of Phoenix, Detroit campus. They had 1-year, renewable, Student Visa’s. These
people were more fluent in English than most Israelis.

Usually a shadow is right in front of you, out in the open, and you can see it but you still
can’t touch it. The Trilateral Commission has offices and will even provide you with its
publications, there is a link on their website. I wonder if that is anything like hiding in
plain sight. If I suddenly die of a heart attack… blame the Russians. Executive Order

98
12333 of 1981 (USED TO) prevent(s) the Agency from doing political assassinations.
Do you think that G.H.W. Bush will be ready to retire after 12 years in office, or will he
run Jeb? Hillary wants another 8 years in office, you know. I can see it now, Jeb and Hil-
lary. They’ll end up renaming the White House Carrington Mansion. Dynasty was about
a rich oil family in Denver, Colorado.

US Border Patrol checkpoints near the Méxican border are essential in stopping the
flow of illegal aliens and drugs into America, say law-enforcement authorities, but per-
manent checkpoints in southern Arizona are not allowed.

While Border Patrol agents in Arizona accounted for more than half of the 1.15 million
illegals caught last year, Congress – led by Rep. Jim Kolbe, Arizona Republican –
steadfastly has approved appropriation bills that prohibit permanent checkpoints along a
260-mile section of the Arizona border known as the Tucson sector.

Tucson is the only one of 20 Border Patrol sectors nationwide not permitted to set up
permanent checkpoints.

That’s ok, we have the Minutemen… Half of 1.15 million??? I wonder how many of
those Méxicans were Terrorists? None, the Terrorists were the ones they didn’t catch.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Vanity Fair magazine said on Tuesday that Mark Felt, the
former No. 2 FBI official, claims to be Deep Throat, the legendary source who leaked
Watergate scandal secrets to the Washington Post and helped bring down President
Richard Nixon.

Unmasking the identity of Deep Throat, a key Watergate source for Post reporters Bob
Woodward and Carl Bernstein, would solve one of the greatest political and journalistic
mysteries of recent history.

The magazine said Felt, now a 91-year-old retiree living in Santa Rosa, California, ad-
mitted his role in the scandal to his family and cooperated with the story. It is the first
time a major potential source has claimed to be Deep Throat.

Woodward, now a managing editor at the Post, did not immediately return phone mes-
sages. Woodward and Bernstein have refused to reveal the name of their source for
more than three decades and said they would not name their source until after his
death.

Bernstein told WABC-TV in New York: “We’re not going to say anything at this time.
When the person is deceased we will identify him.”

99
Felt doesn’t even LOOK like Henry… Oh, well.

Jack, Cindy and Mona were fulltime CIA analysts and only part-time operators. Bruce
had his job at the Times, so they really did have the perfect covers. How does someone
find 8 nuclear weapons in a storage locker in Phoenix, Arizona? If they knew to look in
Phoenix, it might be easier, but do you have any idea how many storage lockers there
are the Southwestern United States? Lots, there are about 1,000 in the Antelope Valley
alone. And there was always the possibility that Arkady was lying, wasn’t there? Did you
hear that the President of Venezuela had a heart attack? It will happen next week. May-
be the Russians did it.

It can’t be the Israelis; we blamed them the last time, didn’t we? In its history the Mos-
sad only ever admitted to a few assassinations: Assassination of those responsible for
the Munich Massacre at the 1972 Olympic Games and the Lillehammer affair; providing
intelligence for the assassination of Abu Jihad by Israeli commandos (unverified but
widely believed); and, the assassination of Gerald Bull (unverified but widely believed). I
had planned on telling you more about the Mossad, but on second thought…

Their next assignment wasn’t long in coming. DCI didn’t take news about those 8 nukes
very well. He turned the information over to the FBI and Homeland Security, as was
proper, but didn’t have much confidence in his friends on the other side of the aisle. The
4 of them went back to being USSS, again; the Secretary of DHS owed the Director a
favor or two. The FBI had tackled California because that was where the San Andreas
Fault was located. Homeland Security was looking in the area of all of the nuclear reac-
tors in California and was planning on going to Palo Verde west of Phoenix next.

“Personally, I’d have looked in northern California, Oregon and Washington for the
weapons, but I’ve never known Arkady to be wrong.”

“Where do you know him from, the Cold War?”

“Not hardly, I didn’t join the Agency until ‘92. When I graduated from The Farm in ‘94,
my first assignment was in Vienna and I met him there. He was formerly KGB, but they
became the FSB, the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation. I can tell you,
it got worse with the FSB after I met him. In ‘98 they lost their meal allowances and ½
their pay. They didn’t have any civilian employees by then either. Arkady was a some-
thing Colonel the last I knew. I ready do believe he was serious about coming to the
US.”

“Can’t you get the DCI to request his services? They did something like that in Red Heat
and Black Rain. In the first one, Arnold came to Chicago to work with Jim Belushi and

100
the second one, Michael Douglas went to Japan to embarrass himself and the Japa-
nese.”

“Do you live your whole life on a VHS cassette or DVD disc?”

“No, but just because the idea came from a motion picture doesn’t make it a bad idea.
At least Arkady might know how to make sure the things were disarmed if we found
them.”

“He has a point, honey,” Cindy suggested.

“I’ll ask, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”

“Welcome to Washington, Arkady, your first time here?” Bruce asked.

“You are the designated driver? I saw your photo in Vienna?”

“Are you packing?”

“Suitcase is still in luggage carousel.”

“Do you have a weapon?”

“Is at embassy in a diplomatic bag.”

“Mona said you spoke very good English, giving me a hard time are you?”

“No, just wanted to see if you were on your toes. Did you find the nukes yet?”

“Not a clue. The FBI is going through California with a fine-tooth comb and DHS is
checking lockers in the areas of our reactors.”

“Have you looked in Arizona?”

“Not yet, do you know something Arkady?”

“Just a third-hand rumor. I heard that they brought them across your border with Méxi-
co. There’s a reactor in Arizona, isn’t there; Palo Verde?”

“Yes. The only two operating reactor locations in California are…”

“Diablo Canyon and San Onofre.”

“You’ve done your homework.”

101
“I hear that Mona and you are pretty good at research.”

“The largest cities in Arizona are Phoenix, Tucson, Mesa, Glendale and Scottsdale.”

“Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale and Scottsdale are mostly a single metropolitan area, so that
might be a good place to start, Bruce.”

“We could put a team on Tucson and a third on Flagstaff.”

“If you have the resources, why not.”

“Do you know how to disarm one of these devices if we find them?”

“I brought the plans so you can give them to your Nuclear Emergency Search Teams.”

The Remote Sensing Laboratory (RSL) supports routine scientific and engineering func-
tions and emergency response requirements. RSL support work involves the separate
areas of nuclear data analysis, multispectral remote sensing, aircraft scheduling, geo-
graphic data collection, inventory control, archiving, systems design, scientific and engi-
neering analysis, photographic image processing, and communications.

The objective of the Nuclear Emergency Search Team is to search for, identify, assess,
and disable any nuclear weapon directed against the United States for purposes of ter-
rorism, coercion, or extortion. This is a multi-agency effort, primarily involving DOE,
DOD, FBI and FEMA. There have been 6 nuclear threats in the US.

“We’re here,” Bruce said. “This is your embassy isn’t it? You’ll want to get your weapon
before we go to Langley.”

102
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 12 – Bomb Hunt

Obviously the DCI was extremely concerned about those 8 bombs. He had to be to in-
vite a Russian agent to help with the search. The Russian blueprints had Made in China
stamped on them and all of the labels were in English. Arkady was forced to check his
weapon, an H&K USP Tactical .45ACP pistol with suppressor, in the lobby. You didn’t
think a genuine Russian spy would use a Russian pistol, did you? Members of the FSB
generally carried the PB/6P9 silenced pistol, the APB/6P13 silenced pistol, the
PSS/6P28 or the standard issue (since 1996) Gyurza/Vector SR-1 which he didn’t like
because his hands were too small. None of them compared well with H&K and the
.45ACP, according to Arkady. The standard issue SR-1 was a piece of junk.

They couldn’t locate the nukes using helicopters and radiation detection equipment. The
people who had hidden them had shielded them with over 4” of lead sheeting. The
NEST people said that anything over 10cm of lead would prevent them from being de-
tected. The problem was compounded by the sheer number of storage lockers in the
Phoenix Metropolitan area and the high probability that they wouldn’t be in plain view. It
was at best speculation – a third-hand rumor and two more reactors were only 500
miles away.

“They’ve turned every storage locker and every box in Flagstaff and Tucson. Nothing,”
Jack reported.

“How are we doing in Phoenix?”

“Bruce, we losing ground. They’ve pulled more people off to search in California. I think
we should send our wives home. Someone has to watch out for the kids besides the
CIA Nannies.”

“I would do that Bruce,” Arkady recommended. “In the old days, before, they would have
brought in the Russian Army and dumped every box in Moscow. You’re doing a better
job here than we could, but we don’t have these storage lockers.”

“I suppose we’d better. Has anyone said anything about where the terrorists might be?”

“The New York City area, Detroit and Los Angeles have the largest concentrations of
Arab-Americans, Bruce.” Jack replied. “Immigrants from South Asia, including India and
Pakistan, live in virtually every major US urban center. The largest concentration of Af-
ghan-Americans, some 40,000, is in the San Francisco Bay Area.”

“That would be worse than looking for a needle in a haystack. Those are the biggest cit-
ies in the country. I agree about sending Mona and Cindy back to Vienna, but they
aren’t going to like it.”

103
“They’ll do whatever the Agency tells them to do. I’ve got to make a call, excuse me,”
Jack said and left.

“Is he going to call your Director of Intelligence?”

“Maybe, but I’m beginning to wonder if Jack doesn’t have the DCI’s private phone num-
ber.”

“The FSB would never permit a field agent to call a Colonel General.”

“Arkady, the Agency doesn’t have many people like Jack and Cindy.”

“Isn’t your wife an analyst? The dossier I saw about the two of you stated that you’re
both field agents but that her fulltime work is with the Intelligence Directorate and that
working for the Times is a cover for you working as an analyst which is nothing more
than a cover for your field work.”

“Your information may be accurate but this is only the second time either of us has done
any field work and most of the work that either of us does is primarily as analysts. I don’t
know how detailed that dossier was and I’m not sure that I should say anything more
than that. Even if that file is detailed I’m not going to confirm your information.”

“That is as it should be, Bruce. I wasn’t asking for confirmation. I know what’s in the file
and it isn’t as complete as it could be because you’re relatively new. I’d guess the file on
me is reasonably complete because I’ve known Jack since 1994 in Vienna. I’m getting
out, you know. When we’ve found those nukes, I’m retiring. I have no ties in Russia. I
plan to apply for permanent resident in the US. Some of your Operations people with try
to debrief me, but with the system in place in the FSB there isn’t much I can tell them
that they don’t already know.”

“Won’t your people object?”

“Sure they will, but I’ll ask for political asylum and tell your people what little I might
know that they want confirmed. It is nothing. Our countries use satellites and space age
communications technology. There is a lot that I don’t know because I’m pretty far down
on the pecking order.”

“Jack said you were a Colonel.”

“Sub-Polkovnik/Captain-2nd rank, but I was a Major/Captain 3rd rank, until very recent-
ly. The FSB has had a lot of resignations. I’m the same as your Lt. Colonel/Commander.
As I said it was a very recent promotion. I didn’t realize that Jack knew.”

“He said… well never mind.”

104
“The Cardinal? He gone, resigned to go into the private sector. Anyone with half a brain
is leaving these days.”

“I didn’t say anything about anyone named Cardinal. Tom Clancy wrote a book you
know.”

“Fiction, but pretty accurate fiction.

“In the beginning, I was GRU, military intelligence. There was a lot of competition and I
moved to the KGB. It disappeared and became, eventually, the FSB. I’d have been bet-
ter off in the GRU since it is still intact. The GRU still remains, to this day, a very im-
portant part of the Russian Federation’s intelligence services. The FSB is the successor
organization to the KGB. Following the attempted coup of 1991 against Mikhail Gorba-
chev, the KGB was dismantled and ceased to exist after November 1991. Its successor
the FSK, the Federal Counterintelligence Service, was reorganized into the FSB by the
Federal Law of April 3, 1995. It was very confusing. I met Jack when I was FSK.”

“What about these nukes?”

“They are similar to the bomb you dropped on Hiroshima in design. We both used
something similar in our nuclear cannon shells. The smallest weapon your side had was
the Davy Crockett.”

“I wouldn’t know I’m not a nuclear expert.”

“Use the Internet to look it up; I hear you are very talented.”

“The wives will be getting a call ordering them back to Washington,” Jack said returning.

“Are you going to tell them or am I?”

“Neither, they’ll get a call from the DI or the DO.”

“How did you manage that?”

“High friends in low places, or was that low friends in high places?” Jack chuckled and
winked. “They’re bringing in the Army to help us search.”

“Won’t that tip off the terrorists?”

“EO 10995.”

“You Americans are not so different from us.”

“Sure we are Arkady; we only do that in an emergency, not all of the time.”

105
“Gorbachev changed many things. That Yeltsin, I didn’t like him. Putin is ok; he was the
former director of FSB.”

“They’re bringing in the 82 or 101st.”

“Ah, you’re Airborne Rapid Reaction Forces. Not as good as our Spetsnaz.”

(Spetsnaz can refer to elite units controlled by the FSB with counter-terrorist and anti-
sabotage tasks, Ministry of Interior (of the police) MVD, and the army special forces
controlled by the military intelligence service GRU. There has always been a certain
amount of shifting of personnel and units between both the GRU who control Spetsnaz
and the MVD with OSNAZ MVD and OZNAZ KGB or FSB, especially between the latter
two.)

“I said Airborne, not Special Forces or SEALS, Arkady. Care to put your Spetsnaz up
against our SEALS?”

“A very interesting proposition, Jack. Your people don’t train with entrenching tools or
knives like the Spetsnaz do.”

They figured that they’d find the weapons eventually, providing they were anywhere in
the Southwestern United States. With military troops coming in and a media blackout,
they figured to find the weapons and bait a trap to wait for the terrorists to show up to
get the weapons for their next project. Bruce was forced to call the Times and request a
leave of absence. Arkady was on TDY until the problem was resolved and that word
came directly from the Federation President’s office. There would most certainly be a
show trial when this bunch was caught.

There really wasn’t anything in New Mexico that bombing would have a large impact
upon. They stuck with the original plan and continued to work to clear Arizona and the
southern half of California. There was simply too much information available to suggest
you couldn’t trigger an earthquake with a nuke. The most likely west coast targets were
reactors or volcanoes. From the amount of time they’d already spent searching for the
devices, which couldn’t have been on a timer or they’d have gone off. The only risk
when they found them would be that they were booby-trapped. The devices, even with
the extra shielding weren’t that big.

(CNN) – Florida Gov. Jeb Bush would be awfully good in the job of president, but the
timing isn’t right, his father and former President George H. W. Bush told CNN Tuesday.
Former President George Bush and wife Barbara spoke about the Bush political dynas-
ty with Larry King.

106
Just remember I said it a day or so before the article appeared on CNN… Oh yes, they’ll
call it the Carrington Manor. I could have told you the US Supreme Court would reverse
the Arthur Anderson conviction, too. The Court’s vote was unanimous. I blew it on Hen-
ry, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad. I should have known. Sneaking around in a bunch of parking
garages wasn’t Henry’s style; the man was far too arrogant. His German accent was so
thick you couldn’t cut it with an axe.

One day, about a month later, a paratrooper came up against some cardboard boxes
that were too heavy to move. It had always been just a matter of time… The boxes were
in a storage locker in Glendale, Arizona, the largest community that was closest to Palo
Verde. The NEST removed the explosives and cores and left the weapons in place…
Ultimately it would prove to be a year before the terrorists showed up to retrieve their
hidden property. The FBI got the surveillance assignment and assigned 3 shifts of 8
agents each and one supervisor to cover all 3 shifts. There was the agent called eyes
who watched a bank of video monitors; ears who listened over the parabolic mike and 3
pairs of agents assigned to chase cars; on each shift, 24/7.

Arkady asked for political asylum and it was granted without so much as a peep out of
Vladimir. The CIA debriefing only lasted a few of days and Arkady could have been
called Sgt. Schultz. He did tell the Agency that as far as he knew, that accounted for all
of the missing Russian nukes. Arkady had a little money squirreled away; it seemed to
be a common occurrence. He decided that Montana hadn’t been a good choice for a
couple of reasons. There was the weather, it was colder than Siberia; and, there were
all of those darned missile silos. Arkady moved to the Lake of the Ozarks area, Osage
Beach, in central Missouri. He kept in touch with Jack because he wanted to know the
outcome of the FBI surveillance operation. GWB got a cryptic message from his friend,
Vladimir, You owe me.

President Bush yesterday called a report by Amnesty International “absurd” for its
charge that the United States is mistreating terrorist suspects in Guantanamo Bay, Cu-
ba, saying accusations were being made by “people who hate America.”

“I thought John Bolton was going to get an up-or-down vote on the Senate floor, just like
he deserves an up-or-down vote on the Senate floor, and clearly he’s got the votes to
get confirmed. And so I was disappointed that once again, the leadership there in the
Senate didn’t give him an up-or-down vote. In terms of the request for documents, I
view that as just another stall tactic, another way to delay, another way to not allow Bol-
ton to get an up-or-down vote,” he said, his voice rising. “We’ve answered questions af-
ter questions after questions. ... And so it’s just a stalling tactic. And I would hope that
when they get back, that they stop stalling and give the man a vote.”

107
The Washington Times on Tuesday reported that an al Qaeda handbook directs opera-
tives to level charges of torture once captured; a training regime that administration offi-
cials say explains some of the charges of abuse at Guantanamo Bay. “The United
States is a country that is – promotes freedom around the world,” Mr. Bush said. “When
there’s accusations made about certain actions by our people, they’re fully investigated
in a transparent way. It’s just an absurd allegation. In terms of the detainees, we’ve had
thousands of people detained. ... And so it was an absurd report. It just is.” (Did he
stomp his foot?)

Everybody hates the United States, unless someone is invading their country. The
Democrats in the Congress don’t like you Mr. Bush, get used to it. They aren’t there to
do a job; they’re only there to be politicians. Bush sounds a little frustrated in that Rose
Garden interview. What I want to know was what he was doing giving Jeb an in-depth
tour of the White House, er, Carrington Manor. 2012 or 2016?

Things were back to normal, except for the weather. NOAA claimed that the salinity of
the Atlantic Ocean seemed to be stabilizing. Tank manufacturers were working 24/7
turning out 1,000-gallon fuel oil tanks. Across the country, people were hoarding food.
Arkady’s new home had, you guessed it, a bomb shelter. Arkady was from Russia
where Civil Defense wasn’t considered a joke, but a necessity. Jack and Bruce had
clued him in on Radmeters4U and Nitro-pak. Arkady had a trunk with most of his pos-
sessions that he’d left at the Russian Embassy until shortly before he asked for political
asylum. It contained 2 AK-47’s, the one’s with the machined receiver, 2 H&K G-3 rifles,
magazines for both, and a pair of Saiga 12K folding-stock shotguns with a dozen 8-
round magazines, each.

In the interim, the President of Venezuela had died of that cancer. The Israelis in Detroit
had renewed their student Visa’s for another year. A courier delivered a message telling
them it would be another year, possibly two. Bruce was back at the Times and Jack and
Cindy were at their desks at the Intelligence Directorate. He decided it would be a good
time to start outlining the book he was planning. He was going to divide it into 3 sections
with the first describing Mona and his experience getting back to Washington and the
second chronicling the winters caused by the caldera eruptions. The third section was
reserved for observations pertaining to the original National Geographical Society’s
study. Bruce wanted to get his recollections about the original event on paper before the
memories became too dim.

Late fall/early winter found the effects of the caldera eruptions to be worse the second
year than the first. Scientists said the planet was cooling off, down 3° F and still cooling.
The snow wasn’t as bad the second year due to the general lack of moisture in the at-
mosphere. However, it got very, very cold. Northern Siberia was more like the Arctic
Circle and Montana was more like Northern Siberia. Because so many people had add-
ed 1,000-gallon fuel oil tanks, the people who couldn’t get them or couldn’t afford them

108
were able to get their fuel oil deliveries the winter of 2006-2007. Snow hadn’t completely
melted in the northern climes of North America and Asia during the summer.

Cindy and Mona were expecting for a second time, absence must have truly made the
hearts grow fonder. Arkady went looking for a wife in Brighton Beach. He met a lady
who had been to a very special school in Russia. She said she’d do anything to get out
of Brighton Beach. She did, so he invited her come to Missouri. Her English was better
than his. She accepted the invitation and was expecting a baby too. It seemed that in
America marriage was optional, but they got married anyway. Arkady was secretly a
Russian Orthodox. She had been trained to be open to anything. I somehow doubt
they’ll ever make The Charm School into a movie rated G.

Most of the story is about captured American pilots who are traded by the North Viet-
namese to the Soviet Union for weapons. The Soviets interrogate them for years, but by
the early 1980s, technology has changed so much that the pilots’ information is no
longer useful. Rather than kill them, the Soviets find another, far more disturbing, use
for the Americans at a top-secret base called Mrs. Ivanova’s Charm School.

American tourist Gregory Fisher meets an escapee from the school, who fills him in.
Fisher manages to call the American Embassy before disappearing mysteriously. Fish-
er’s information lands in the lap of Colonel Sam Hollis (himself a Vietnam veteran), who
teams up with a reporter. With the help of fanatical CIA agent Seth Avery, they snoop
(and occasionally shoot) in and around Moscow while learning more about the Charm
School and Fisher’s disappearance. Soon, however, they attract the attention of the So-
viet secret police, who capture and send them to – you guessed it – the Charm School.

In January of 2007, they got an assignment to go to Venezuela. It seems that the petty
Dictator in charge of the country really thought he was in charge of the country. The CIA
Factbook says, “Venezuela was one of three countries that emerged from the collapse
of Gran Colombia in 1830 (the others being Colombia and Ecuador). For most of the
first half of the 20th century, Venezuela was ruled by generally benevolent military
strongmen, who promoted the oil industry and allowed for some social reforms. Demo-
cratically elected governments have held sway since 1959. Current concerns include: a
polarized political environment, a politicized military, drug-related violence along the Co-
lombian border, increasing internal drug consumption, overdependence on the petrole-
um industry with its price fluctuations, and irresponsible mining operations that are en-
dangering the rain forest and indigenous peoples.”

Venezuela is located in Northern South America, bordering the Caribbean Sea and the
North Atlantic Ocean, between Colombia and Guyana. Venezuela claims all of the area
west of the Essequibo River in Guyana, preventing any discussion of a maritime bound-
ary; Guyana has expressed its intention to join Barbados in asserting claims before
UNCLOS that the Trinidad and Tobago’s maritime boundary with Venezuela extends
into their waters; dispute with Colombia over Los Monjes islands and maritime boundary

109
near the Gulf of Venezuela; Colombian-organized illegal narcotics and paramilitary ac-
tivities penetrate Venezuela’s shared border region resulting in several thousand resi-
dents migrating away from the border; the US, France and the Netherlands recognize
Venezuela’s claim to give full effect to Aves Island, which creates a Venezuelan
EEZ/continental shelf extending over a large portion of the Caribbean Sea; Dominica,
Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, and Saint Vincent and the Grenadines protest Vene-
zuela’s claim that Aves Island sustains human habitation and other states’ recognition of
it.

It’s a small-scale illicit producer of opium and coca for the processing of opiates and co-
ca derivatives; however, large quantities of cocaine, heroin, and marijuana transit the
country from Colombia bound for US and Europe; significant narcotics-related money-
laundering activity, especially along the border with Colombia and on Margarita Island;
active eradication program primarily targeting opium; increasing signs of drug-related
activities by Colombian insurgents on border.

They ended up in Caracas, the capital, entering Venezuela through Simón Bolívar In-
ternational Airport located in Miaquetia, near the capital. Bruce’s cover was a follow up
interview with the OPEC representative he’d interviewed in Vienna. He now carried both
the Mont Blanc pen and the mechanical pencil. They stopped by the Embassy to check
with the Chief of Station and retrieve their personal possessions. Their obviously preg-
nant wives mostly stayed in the hotel, although the babies weren’t due until late May.
The ladies kept in touch with the Agency via a satellite uplink to Mona’s laptop comput-
er, a Pentium IV with every built-in imaginable.

While Bruce conducted the interview, Jack and a local operative were getting the lay of
the land, trying to figure out how to get to the new head of state, a certain Generalissi-
mo Trujillo, no relation to the Dominican Dictator whose full name was Rafael Leónidas
Trujillo Molina who had been assassinated in 1961. There was suspicion that the CIA
provided the weapons to the assassins in hopes of creating the possibility of the for-
mation of a less reactionary government, fearing that Trujillo’s repressive tactics could
lead to another revolutionary situation as had occurred in nearby Cuba.

“They picked the wrong petty Dictator to install this time,” Jack told Bruce that evening.

“Don’t they usually?”

“Unfortunately.”

“What’s his security like?”

“Stronger than Castro’s”

“How would you know? Never mind, forget I asked. If I don’t know, they can’t torture it
out of me when we get captured.”

110
“We can’t get within a mile of this guy.”

“Mona’s a pretty good shot; can you get your hands on a suppressed Mk 15?”

“Consider it done.”

Do you remember my telling you that Mona said, “Well, ok, but I’m only going to be an
analyst?” That was then and this was, well, now. Besides, they had a really large budget
for this operation and whatever they didn’t spend ended up in two of their bank ac-
counts, a straight 50-50 split. Bruce could quit his jobs with the Times and work fulltime
on his book. Not! The DCI would never let him break his cover. The best place to get a
shot would be from the Russian Embassy.

“Arkady, ever been to Venezuela? Really? I didn’t know. You do know somebody, right?
Good. We’ll make it a 3-way split. Ok, see you in a couple of days. What? Oh, a sup-
pressed Mk 15 from about 1,800-yards. Right, arrivederci.”

“He has a friend in the Embassy from the FSB. He said the friend would do it, but we’d
have to give him the Mk 15 and political asylum.”

“I’ll get you the Raufoss ammo used by our snipers, Mona. The bullets are rather explo-
sive. If you can put one in his torso, we can go home.”

“I haven’t practiced at 2,000-yards since I got pregnant.”

“I didn’t even know you had a Mk 15 rifle.”

“We have 2 .50 caliber rifles, a M82A3 and a McMillan Tac-50.”

“The Tac-50 is bolt action…”

“Yeah, no problem using a silencer.”

“Shoot down any helicopters lately?”

“I haven’t shot down any helicopters, period. I need a Tac-50, fully equipped.”

“Can she really shoot that well at 2,000-yards?”

“About ½ moa, with the Tac-50.”

“That Generalissimo is a dead man.”

“I sure hope so. When is Arkady coming?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

111
“Did I hear you say a 3-way split?”

“Yeah, but if he can get us in the Embassy, it will be worth it.”

“I guess I won’t give up my day job.”

“The DCI wouldn’t let you anyway.”

They called Arkady and added a Tac-50 to the Barrett order and he flew them into Ca-
racas in a Diplomatic bag. It arrived on the same day as Arkady and Tanya. Jack took
Arkady and Tanya back to the hotel and got them checked in. A couple of hours later, a
courier delivered a pouch from the American Embassy. The rifle had been sighted in for
2000-yards and had a Nightforce 12-42×56mm scope, McCann Night Vision Rail,
AN/PVS-27 and an Elite Iron suppressor. Mona said that she had to test fire the rifle be-
fore the mission and she could stand a little practice.

“I don’t know who worked on this rifle, but it’s more accurate than mine.”

“Then you can make the shot?”

“Can a fish swim?”

“Don’t be over confident.”

“Look, Jack, we have a laser rangefinder and the scope has 100-meter increments out
to 2,000-meters. You could probably make the shot.”

“Tanya’s pregnant too?”

“It must be the weather in Missouri, cold nights.”

“What about your friend?”

“He will let us in; we’ll take the shot and just leave the Barrett rifle at the Russian Em-
bassy. He’ll show up at the American Embassy a couple of days later and your people
will get him to the states.”

“No wife or family or anything?”

“Tanya has a friend at Brighton Beach.”

112
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 13 – Paying Debts

Mona made the shot, the dictator died and they returned to the United States. A few
days later, GWB got a cryptic message from his friend, Vladimir, “You owe me, again.”
The problem with owing somebody, twice, is that sometimes they make you pay your
debts. It wouldn’t be long in coming. Shortly after Arkady’s friend was debriefed by the
Agency, got married and set up in the Lake of the Ozarks area, Vladimir called in the
debt. The Iranians were trying to blackmail the Russian Federation. Unfortunately the
Russian Federation had dismantled all of their neutron bombs under START II and they
didn’t have any stealth bombers.

“George, how are things in the US?”

“Vladimir can’t complain. Dang Democrats. What’s up?”

“The Iranians are trying to blackmail the Federation.”

“So, solve that problem like we handled the Saudi problem.”

“I’d love to, but we dismantled all of our neutron bombs under START II. Plus, we don’t
have any of the earth-penetrating nuclear weapons or any stealth bombers.”

“I don’t know what you expect the United States to do about it.”

“You owe me, George. I want you to take care of it for us and we’ll back your play in the
UN.”

“Well, ok, but that will put the shoe on the other foot. You’re going to owe me big time.”

In the summer of 1991, a team of Los Alamos nuclear weapons scientists delivered a
briefing to the Defense Science Board, provocatively titled “Potential Uses for Low-Yield
Nuclear Weapons in the New World Order.” The Bush administration envisions Robust
Nuclear Earth Penetrator (RNEP) as a weapon to destroy deep underground targets,
while others believe the B-61 Mod 11, a weapon already in the arsenal, accomplishes
that goal. The study of a Robust Nuclear Earth Penetrator will evaluate modifications to
existing nuclear weapons that do not require nuclear testing. The outcome of an RNEP
study would be a recommendation to proceed with selective modifications to existing
weapons that would ultimately strengthen deterrence by improving the credibility of stra-
tegic forces against hard and deeply buried facilities. One effort to improve the US ca-
pability against HBDTs is a joint DoD/DOE phase 6.2/6.2A Study to be started in Apri1
2002. This effort will identify whether an existing warhead in a 5,000-pound class pene-
trator would provide significantly enhanced earth penetration capabilities compared to
the B61 Mod 11. Livermore is working on modifying the existing B-83 gravity bomb,
while Los Alamos is studying modifications to the B-61 bomb.

113
On 16 September 2003, the Senate considered two amendments to the Energy and
Water Development Appropriations Act for FY 2004 that would prohibit the use of De-
partment of Energy funds for nuclear weapons development. An amendment authored
by Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) that would have eliminated the $6 million in the bill
for the Advanced Concepts Initiative. That amendment, which was defeated by a vote of
53-41, also would have reduced funding for the Robust Nuclear Earth Penetrator
(RNEP). Senator Feinstein’s amendment would have specifically prohibited the use of
funds for Department of Energy activities relating to the Robust Nuclear Earth Penetra-
tor, Advanced Weapons Concepts, modification of the readiness posture of the Nevada
Test Site, and the Modern Pit Facility. Senator Reid’s amendment, which prohibited the
use of funds for certain activities relating to advanced nuclear weapons concepts, in-
cluding the robust nuclear earth penetrator, later passed the Senate in a voice vote.

May 2005 – President Bush today praised new National Intelligence Director John D.
Negroponte and principal deputy intelligence director, Air Force Lt. General Michael V.
Hayden, during the officials’ swearing-in ceremonies held here.

US lawmakers, concerned about intelligence lapses prior to the September 11, 2001
terrorist attacks and faulty intelligence about Iraq’s weapons in the run-up to the US-led
war in that country, created the national director position as part of a broader intelli-
gence reform initiative. In his new post, Mr. Negroponte will coordinate the gathering
and sharing of intelligence by the nation’s 15 spy agencies.

Senate Intelligence Committee chairman, Republican Senator Pat Roberts of Kansas,

says Mr. Negroponte, a career diplomat, is the right person for the job. “Clearly, Ambas-
sador Negroponte will face significant challenges,” he said. “He is going to carry heavy
burdens. But I am convinced, however, that he has the character, he has the expertise,
and he has the leadership skills required to successfully meet these challenges and to
shoulder these responsibilities.”

Mr. Negroponte’s most recent position was as US ambassador to Iraq, where he served
for nine months. Before his service in Baghdad, he was US ambassador to the United
Nations. He has also held ambassadorships in Honduras, México and the Philippines.

Some Democrats are concerned by Ambassador Negroponte’s tenure in Honduras,

from 1981 to 1985, when human rights groups say he turned a blind eye to human
rights abuses.

And, if it weren’t that, it would have been something else.

114
They ended up making some cannon barrels big enough to hold the W-70 warheads.
Once the underground facility was penetrated, a 0.3kt weapon would be large enough.
That’s how they developed the first earth-penetrating conventional bombs, using can-
non barrels. The GBU-28 is a 4000-pound bomb that is designed to penetrate hardened
targets before exploding. The Guided Bomb Unit-28 (GBU-28) is a special weapon de-
veloped for penetrating hardened Iraqi command centers located deep underground.
This 5000 lb bunker buster was required for special targets during the Desert Storm
conflict and was designed, fabricated and loaded in record time. The GBU-28 is a
5,000-pound laser-guided conventional munition that uses a 4,400-pound penetrating
warhead. The bombs are modified Army artillery tubes, weigh 4,637 pounds, and con-
tain 630 pounds of high explosives. They are fitted with GBU-27 LGB kits, 14.5 inches
in diameter and almost 19 feet long. The operator illuminates a target with a laser des-
ignator and then the munition guides to a spot of laser energy reflected from the target.
They didn’t need to reinvent the wheel.

Two B-2 bombers took off from Arabia, one loaded with 16 GBU-28/B-61’s and the oth-
er loaded with 16 W-70 neutron bombs that the US didn’t have and claimed they never
would. China and the European nations were up in arms in the UN the following day.
George denied the whole thing and President Vladimir Putin of the Russian Federation
announced to the world that since the US attack on Saudi Arabia, Russia had been
monitoring the US bomber flights on an ongoing basis and those two planes that took
off from Arabia flew straight to Diego Garcia. Russian FSB had absolutely no reason to
believe that the Americans were behind the bombing of Iran. It was probably, he said,
the work of the Israelis. The tally was: 2 down and 1 to go.

“Arkady. Ново?”

“Speak English, Vasily, you’re in America now. I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

“Da. Sasha isn’t what I expected.”

“Are you complaining?”

“No. I’m exhausted. She speaks English very well.”

“She should, she went to The School.”

“That explains it. I always thought of myself as a Cossack. Believe me my friend, it isn’t
so.”

“I learned the same lesson, Vasily. Do you have any weapons besides the Barrett rifle?”

“No. Well, I have my SR-1.”

115
“That’s a piece of junk. Did you have an account?”

“Da. Yes. 10,000,000 Rubles.”

“The exchange rate makes that about $352,286. Do you have the money?”

“Yes.”

“You need to make preparations, Vasily. You will need a nuclear bomb shelter, equip-
ment, food and weapons. I have some friends who will help me get weapons. You
should have what I have and I should buy Tanya a USP Tactical. You should do the
same for Sasha.”

“Ah, The School. Proficient?”

“Very. Their marksmanship rivals their English.”

“What will I buy for weapons?”

“2 USP Tacticals, 2 AK-47’s, 2 G-3 rifles, 2 Saiga 12K folding-stock shotguns, maga-
zines, ammo and suppressors for the pistols.”

“This is permitted in America?”

“Well…”

“I understand. Our secret, Da?”

“Yes Vasily, our secret.”

“Jack? Arkady. I need a favor.”

“I owe you Arkady. What can I do for you?”

“I need 2 each USP Tacticals with suppressors, 2 AK-47’s with machined receivers, 2
G-3 rifles, 2 Saiga 12K folding-stock shotguns, magazines and ammo. I, we, can pay
cash.”

“Plan on starting a war?”

“No. Equipping a shelter.”

“Vasily?”

116
“Yes, I have all of those things except for one USP and suppressor.”

“Really? The trunk from the Embassy?”

“Exactly so.”

“I’ll need a few days.”

“We still have to get the shelter, no problem. Will I have any problem buying a rifle like
Vasily has?”

“I’ll simplify everything for you and get you one. Suppressor?”

“Yes, please.”

“Standard, select fire, G-3 with full stock?”

“Right.”

“We’ll make a trip of it and Bruce and I will come to see you in about a week.”

“Thanks Jack.”

“Don’t mention it. To anyone.”

“Yes, Our secret.”

Just as Jack was hanging up the phone he heard a click on the line. He called Technical
Services and explained the problem. Technical Services said that there was no way that
the Agencies phones could be bugged. Jack asked if he connected to the other party,
again, could they tell if the other guy’s line was bugged. Their answer was, “Maybe.”

“Sir, could I see you?”

“Jack, of course. Come up anytime.”

“Is right now ok Sir?”

“I’ll order coffee.”

“What’s the problem, Jack?”

“I think someone is bugging Arkady’s phone.”

117
“What makes you think so?”

“Arkady called and asked for my help on something. When I hung up, I heard a click on
the line. Technical Services said that if I called him back, they might be able to tell if his
line was bugged, but possibly not.”

“What did he want?”

“Weapons for Vasily’s bomb shelter.”

“The same stuff that was in Arkady’s trunk?”

“Plus a UPS Tactical with a suppressor, probably for Tanya, and a full round for Vasily.
He also wanted a Barrett for himself.”

“Now, you were never here, Jack. I’ll make a call and you’ll get a delivery at home to-
night with what Arkady wants. Call it insurance. The other call will be to check on the
tap. That may be difficult because of that danged USA Patriot Act and their secret court.
If I can’t find out, I’ll let you know and we’ll send some people to Missouri. You call
Arkady back and tell him that the wires have ears.”

“Arkady, Jack.”

“Hi Jack.”

“The wires have ears my friend.”

“Really? I’ll tell my friend.”

“Good idea. When Bruce and I come, we may bring our friends from the basement.”

“Oh? Ok. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

“What do you make of that call?”

“It was that Agency guy and it was some kind of code. That’s how these spooks are,
practicing their tradecraft on each other all the time. Forget it.”

TOM here in Palmdale…

118
The FBI may not be stupid, but they’re pansies, witness the .40 S&W. If they’re going to
have a 10mm handgun, fine. But, they should get a 10mm and not a 10mm short. To
my way of thinking, a 10mm MP5 like the USSS uses is one hell of a lot better than a
9mm anything. I’d prefer a Thompson, but the MP5/10 is more compact, lighter and
doesn’t have a recoil problem. Obviously I don’t care for the current .223 caliber BB gun
the military is using. If the M4 is bad on velocity, imagine what the XM8 with a 12” barrel
will be like. That will be the standard issue weapon although they are looking at a differ-
ent caliber cartridge on the order of the 6.8mm Remington SPC. I wish the Army would
readopt the M14 rifle with a Beretta tri-comp and selective fire, preferable semi-auto, 3-
round burst and full-auto.

Thank GOD my kid will have a regular M16A2 when he goes to Iraq in October 2005.
He also has my Rambo II knife sharpened to a shaving edge top and bottom. Let’s just
hope he never gets close enough to anyone that he has to use it. Did you know that
when he died, Steve McQueen had signed to be John Rambo in First Blood? Rambo,
who I liked, was a jerk and Sly was perfect for the part. McQueen probably never would
have generated the sequels. Finally, the seed I planted by writing a story based in Flip-
pin, Arkansas has the wife about ready to move. If we could sell the house before the
housing bubble bursts, we may end up on our way.

Secret Service agents and officers carry the Sig Sauer P229, .357 Sig caliber pistol.
They also are trained on the Remington Model 870 shotgun, the Uzi submachine gun,
and the MP5 automatic weapon. Fortunately, very few USSS personnel have been shot
while guarding the President or other protectees, but the risks are always there.

Examples of employees who have been shot are Officer Leslie Coffelt and Special
Agent Tim McCarthy. Officer Coffelt was shot and killed in 1950 when two Puerto Rican
nationalists tried to assassinate President Harry Truman. Officer Coffelt died of his inju-
ry on the lawn in front of the Blair House. Special Agent McCarthy was shot by John
Hinkley, Jr. when he tried to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981. Special
Agent McCarthy recovered from his injury. In both of those incidents other law enforce-
ment personnel also were wounded.

The USSS also had an agent wounded in the attempted assassination of Presidential
candidate Governor George Wallace. Special Agent Nick Zarvos was shot in the throat,
but survived, as did Governor Wallace. USSS personnel spend a lot of time training,
and they also make a lot of advance preparations before one of their protectees visits
somewhere to try and minimize the chances of someone with a gun getting close to any
of their protectees. As of 2003, the USSS lost 34 employees as a result of on-duty inci-
dents.

All new agents spend 9 weeks in Glynco, Georgia, at the Federal Law Enforcement
Training Center where they are taught basic police skills. These basic skills include law,
firearms training, defensive tactics, and report writing. After completing the first school,

119
all Secret Service agents come to Washington, DC, where they undergo 12 additional
weeks of training.

The second school is only attended by Secret Service agents and (uniformed) officers.
In that school, they learn things very specific to the Secret Service including how to de-
tect counterfeit money and credit card fraud, how to protect people and how to drive in
special ways to help keep their protectees safe. Even after agents or officers have com-
pleted both schools, they continue to receive training throughout their careers.

“Did you get the delivery, Jack?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Please come to my office.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Come in. Have a seat. I couldn’t find out who has the tap. Bruce and you will take
Technical Services with you when you go to Missouri. Find out who is behind this and
let me know. I can handle it from there. I suspect the FBI.”

“Yes Sir, when do we leave?”

“Immediately. Go ready for bear.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Thanks, Jack.”

“This is the Reporter. We’re leaving tomorrow and will bring 2 people with us.”

“Thanks, Comrade.”

Bruce was laughing so hard he almost let it slip.

“Das Vi’danya, Comrade.” That ought to get the people on the line worked up good!

“Freeze. FBI. Hands in the air.”

“How can we freeze and raise our hands?” Jack asked. “CIA. Go to hell.”

120
“You people are outside of your Charter. You’re under arrest for supplying weapons to
foreign agents.”

“Are you sure about that? Look over your shoulder.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“NO! HE ISN’T,” a loud voice came from behind the FBI agents. “United States Secret
Service. Put down the weapons and stand down, gentlemen.” That must have looked
like a 3-ring circus.

“Since when does the United States Secret Service get involved in counter-intelligence
operations? The FBI agent asked holstering his weapon.

“We’re members of the White House Detail. Does that answer your question?”

“Show me some ID.”

“Fine. If our friends from the FBI make one false move, shoot them, fellas.”

+++

“Here’s the ID. These people are, in fact, CIA, two analysts from the Directorate of Intel-
ligence and two members of their Technical Services. You gentlemen are interfering
with a matter of National Security.”

“What matter of National Security?”

“Sorry, you don’t have a need to know. Let me see the Court Order for the wiretap.”

“It’s right here.”

The senior USSS agent pulled out a cell phone and made a call. Twenty minutes later
his phone rang.

“It’s for you.”

“Agent Reynolds.”

“Sir. Sir. Yes Sir. Immediately. Yes Sir, the first flight out.”

+++

“What would you have done if he called the USSS to verify?” Jack asked.

121
“Nothing. It was covered from the outset. Have fun; we have to get back to Langley.
We’ll probably take the same plane as those FBI agents. That really ought to po them.”

“George?”

The USSS agent shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t know and didn’t want to know. They
wrapped up and left. The 2 guys from Technical Services left with them after giving Jack
some gadget to check the lines. At the Springfield, Missouri airport, the USSS agents
and the FBI agents boarded the same flight. Each group pretended to not recognize the
other. The correct answer would have been the Chief of the White House Detail on di-
rect orders from the Secretary of the DHS. But the President did, in fact, know about it.
He’d told the Detail Chief to handle it and not to fill him in on how he did. Arkady and
Vasily had been thoroughly vetted and the President knew all about them living in Mis-
souri.

“Thank you Sir, they’re set. I think that maybe I’ll get a couple of the .50 caliber rifles,
too. Bruce and Mona have 2, an M82A1 and a McMillan Tac-50.”

“Forget it, Jack, it never happened.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Does Cindy know a lot about Syria?”

“Couldn’t say, Sir. We don’t really talk a lot about our work. We decided when we got
married to keep it vague.”

“I’ll call her and talk to her. Thanks Jack.”

“Yes, Sir, Thank You.”

“Cindy someone wants to know what you know about Syria.”

“He already called and I’m on my way to his office. I’ll tell you what I can tonight.”

+++

“Well?”

“The Syrians have Saddam’s WMD’s, it been confirmed.”

“And…”

“Sorry honey, that’s all that I can say.”

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“God it’s frustrating being married to a Spook.”

“Tell me about it.”

123
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 14 – Explanations

The Operations Directorate of the CIA is prohibited from operating on American soil.
Quite some time back, an alternative strategy was developed to permit them to do the
occasional job in the country. It involved using alternative authority and who better than
the USSS? The FBI was only doing its job keeping an eye on the two Russians, would
you call them defectors? They weren’t defectors and they weren’t retired. They had
been personally assigned by you-know-who to help the Americans resolve problems
that would otherwise prove insurmountable. Bush, Sr. was a former DCI, but you knew
that, right? January 30, 1976 to January 20, 1977, he was preceded by William E. Colby
and succeeded by Admiral Stansfield Turner. The whole intelligence thing is a shell
game, governed by politics. Having US operators, agents, call them what you will, being
friends with Russians was nothing new, and we were allies during WW II. Most agents
have names, not numbers.

“Bond, James Bond.”

“Ah, 007, I’ve looked forward to meeting you, how’s the wife?”

“Dead; even having a Mafioso for a father didn’t protect her.” (Her name was Tracy).

“Nice suit, Savile Row?”

“I find them acceptable.”

“Rolex?”

“Submariner.”

James Bond had more money than the Queen of England. He had more sneaky toys
than a Toys ‘R Us. And they were always right at hand when he needed them. His
wristwatch must have weighed 20 pounds and cost £200,000. SMERSH was part of the
KGB, it was their counterintelligence agency. It’s rumored that a Royal Navy Engineer
approached the producers after the film’s release to ask them how they designed the
mini-rebreather. Apparently he had been working on something similar but could not
figure it out. He was devastated when the producers told them their secret – the actors
were holding their breaths.

Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo (or Tracy) was the daughter of Marc-Ange Draco, the head
of the Union Corse, a powerful European crime syndicate. Draco believes the only way
to save his daughter’s life is for Bond to marry her. For that, Draco offers Bond a great
dowry – as well as Blofeld’s whereabouts. Bond refuses this offer, but does agree to
continue to see Tracy while her mental health improves. Bond escapes from Piz Gloria
and encounters Tracy, who helps him escape from SPECTRE. Bond, who has become
smitten with the resourceful, headstrong woman, proposes marriage and she accepts
(On Her Majesty’s Secret Service).

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George Lazenby was hired as Bond after Lazenby arranged an “accidental” encounter
with the producer. Lazenby dressed the part, by sporting several sartorial Bond ele-
ments, such as a Rolex Submariner wristwatch and a Savile Row suit; Broccoli noticed
him as a Bond-type man, because of physique and the character’s elements, and of-
fered him an audition. Diana Rigg, who played Tracy Bond, was later chosen partly be-
cause producers wanted an already established actress to play opposite the inexperi-
enced Lazenby.

Bond and Tracy marry in Portugal, with Draco’s men and M, Q and a tearful Miss
Moneypenny present. They drive off in Bond’s Aston Martin, but the couple stops on the
roadside a few kilometers later so he can remove the flower decorations from their
wedding. As Bond and Tracy exchange sweet nothings, a black Mercedes sedan – car-
rying Blofeld in a neck brace – drives past; his henchwoman Irma Bunt leans out of a
window of the speeding car and shoots Tracy through the head, killing her. A policeman
on a motorbike finds Bond cradling his wife’s head, and a grief-stricken Bond – fingering
Tracy’s wedding band – tells him, “We have all the time in the world”. This phrase was
later reproduced as the epitaph on the headstone of Tracy’s grave in the opening teaser
of ‘For Your Eyes Only (1981)’, in which Bond finally exacts revenge on Blofeld for Tra-
cy’s murder.

I did have a friend with the Agency. He was recruited at ISU in 1965 and ended up in
Cambodia and/or Thailand and/or Laos during the Vietnam War. Married a local and
brought her back to Iowa when he returned to Charles City later to go back to farming.
They do let you retire in real life.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) – George Mikan, professional basketball’s first dominant big
man who led the Minneapolis Lakers to five NBA championships, has died, family
members said Thursday. He was 80.

LAGUNA BEACH, California (AP) – Fourteen-year-old Haley Stevens was getting ready
for school when her morning routine was shattered by the sounds of trees and houses
being torn from the ground. Wednesday’s landslide destroyed 17 multimillion-dollar
houses as it sent structures crashing down a hill. Residents alarmed by the sound of
walls and pipes coming apart ran for their lives – many still in their pajamas.

WASHINGTON – Some past and present FBI agents said Wednesday that they felt un-
comfortable with the revelation that one of their own was the legendary Deep Throat,

125
who had helped the Washington Post uncover details of the Watergate break-in. One
called it appalling. But others said that W. Mark Felt, then the FBI’s No. 2 man, did what
he had to do to get the story out. That’s a sentiment that has permeated the bureau
throughout its history and continues to this day – sometimes for ignoble purposes.

It had started – already. He should have kept his mouth shut, never, never kiss and tell.

A number of years ago I discovered a root cause of America’s culture war. It came to
me as I debated professor Alan Dershowitz about issues of Jewish concern before a
1,000 Jews at the 92nd Street “Y” in New York City. With the exception of support for
Israel, Dershowitz, a Harvard liberal, and I agreed on nothing, political or religious. To-
ward the end of the evening I came to understand why.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” I announced, “the major difference between Alan Dershowitz
and me is this: When professor Dershowitz differs with the Torah, he assumes that he is
right and the Torah is wrong. When I differ with the Torah, I assume that I am wrong
and the Torah is right.” Dershowitz responded that, for the first time that evening, he
agreed with me.

The perfect legal team: Alan Dershowitz and Jerry Spence. The author of that item
wasn’t Jerry Spence. They’d have the jury so confused that they wouldn’t be able to
convict a fly accused of being an insect, even if the glove DID fit.

The ‘Israelis’ in Detroit were getting restless. EO 10995 had worked; they knew nothing
about what had happened in Arizona. Jack had been right all along; their targets were
some volcanoes in the Cascade Range. The term “most powerful explosive” is a nebu-
lous one at best – highest brisance, detonation rate, energy per unit mass, energy per
unit volume, etc.? HMX is made as a “sister” explosive to RDX by Holston Defense
Corporation, a subsidiary of Eastman Chemical Company. It has some special applica-
tions for the military who are our sole customers because of its physical properties. The
most important is where the name is derived from – High Melting eXplosive. It is espe-
cially suitable for applications where other explosives would be unstable because of
high temperatures.

“The most powerful explosive is a mixture of pure tetranitromethane and toluene, sup-
posedly it achieves temp of over 10,000° C and 10400 M/s in an Argon atmosphere the
temp rises to over 27,000° C.”

There you go again with your tall tales. The mixture is certainly powerful (134% of TNT)
which puts it in the range of good military explosives, but it is much too dangerous as
has been proven by a tragic accident. The detonation velocity is probably around the

126
8,000 m/s mark as reported by the French in their tests of “Panclastite.” The most simi-
lar common explosive would be NG, although the TNM mix is even more shock sensi-
tive and is especially susceptible to LVD. Thermal stability is probably low since other
hydrocarbon mixtures of TNM are known to explode in the 150° C range.

I haven’t calculated the explosion temperature, but it is safe to say that it is nowhere
near 5,000° C much less 10,000.

The temperature of Argon exposed to an explosive shockwave is certainly very high, but
that is true for all high explosives and has little to do with any particular properties of the
TNM mix other than the high, but not unusual detonation pressure of the material. Argon
and the other monatomic gases have lower molar heat capacities than the other gases
and thus they reach higher adiabatic compression temperatures.

+++

The astrolite family of liquid explosives were products of rocket propellant research in
the ‘60’s. Astrolite A-1-5 is supposed to be the world’s most powerful non-nuclear ex-
plosive-at about 1.8 to 2 times more powerful than TNT. Being more powerful it is also
safer to handle than TNT (not that it isn’t safe in the first place) and Nitroglycerin.

“Astrolite G is a clear liquid explosive especially designed to produce very high detona-
tion velocity, 8,600 m/s (meters/sec.), compared with 7,700 m/s for nitroglycerin and
6,900 m/s for TNT ...In addition, a very unusual characteristic is that it the liquid explo-
sive has the ability to be absorbed easily into the ground while remaining detonable... In
field tests, Astrolite G has remained detonable for 4 days in the ground, even when the
soil was soaked due to rainy weather know what that means? ...Astrolite Dynamite! To
make (mix in fairly large container & outside) Two parts by weight of Ammonium Nitrate
mixed with one part by weight Anhydrous Hydrazine, produces Astrolite G ...Feel free to
use different ratios.

Hydrazine is the chemical you’ll probably have the hardest time getting hold of. Uses for
Hydrazine are: Rocket fuel, agricultural chemicals (Maleic Hydrazide), drugs (antibacte-
rial and antihypertension), polymerization catalyst, plating metals on glass and plastics,
solder fluxes, photographic developers, diving equipment. Hydrazine is also the chemi-
cal you should be careful with.

The point is that should the ‘Israelis’ discover that they’d been found out, they could al-
ways go to plan B, providing that they didn’t get caught in the first place. It would be
unwise to just leave 8 nukes in a storage locker in Glendale, Arizona without checking
on them from time-to-time. On the off chance that someone had discovered the weap-
ons and was using them for bait, one ‘Israeli’ went to Glendale and observed the stor-
age locker for several days before checking on the containers. This fellow happened to
look more Méxican than Arab. A few days into his observations, he realized that the

127
worst had happened, the storage locker was under surveillance; he did what any smart-
thinking terrorist would do, he simply walked away…

“We have been discovered.”

“How do you know?”

“Surveillance in 8 hours shifts; about 8 men on a shift.”

“We must find another way.”

“Do we have a plan B?”

“We’ll think of something. This will be… most difficult.”

“Perhaps the Syrians…”

“What? They cannot help us, we are on our own.”

“The Chinese or the North Koreans?”

“Not possible.”

“Nothing is as powerful as a nuclear weapon.”

“True. But, the weapons would have had to be buried deeply in the earth to have the
desired effect anyway. The most powerful commercially available explosive is used in a
versatile and safe slurry form to release high energy in the well bore. Sustained 200 bpd
increases from explosive fracturing have occurred in field tests by The Western Co. in
producing oil wells. The key features of the method are well bore loading with bagged or
high viscosity explosive and solid tamping with cement and gravel.

“Some advantages of the system include the following: (1) good explosive-to-formation
contact gives maximum energy transfer; (2) high stresses near the well bore cause de-
sirable random fracturing; (3) concentrated explosive generates the highest volume of
gases for fracture; (4) casing is not damaged with protective tamping; and (5) cost com-
pares with hydraulic fracturing. Field results have been obtained from test site quarry
shots, dry hole tests, and oil wells to depths of 7,000’, as shown by tabular data. Treat-
ment size in producing wells in both cased and open hole has generally been over
1,000 lb per well with large shots up to 8,500 lb. Poor tests in some wells point out the
fact that explosive fracturing is not suitable for all wells.”

128
BAGHDAD, Iraq, Oct. 24 (2004) – The Iraqi interim government has warned the United
States and international nuclear inspectors that nearly 380 tons of powerful convention-
al explosives – used to demolish buildings, make missile warheads and detonate nucle-
ar weapons – are missing from one of Iraq’s most sensitive former military installations.
The huge facility, called Al Qa’qaa, was supposed to be under American military control
but is now a no man’s land, still picked over by looters as recently as Sunday. United
Nations weapons inspectors had monitored the explosives for many years, but White
House and Pentagon officials acknowledge that the explosives vanished sometime after
the American-led invasion last year. The White House said President Bush’s national
security adviser, Condoleezza Rice, was informed within the past month that the explo-
sives were missing. It is unclear whether President Bush was informed. American offi-
cials have never publicly announced the disappearance, but beginning last week they
answered questions about it posed by The New York Times and the CBS News pro-
gram “60 Minutes.”

I remember that story now; it was a whole warehouse of explosives that disappeared.
All of the news channels on cable carried the story. I wonder whatever happened to
those explosives. I doubt they were used for IEDs. Apparently people carried them off,
but to where? Nah, they couldn’t have managed to load them in a few containers and
have shipped them to the US. We have Customs and they search about 2% of all the
containers entering the country… Why would anyone import nitrates? Don’t we have
plenty here?

“According to the map, there is an old mine in this mountain. It is an extinct volcano.”

“Extinct? That would never do.”

“The USGS has been monitoring seismic activity in the area. Maybe…”

“Where is this mountain?”

“It is in the Cascade range in the state of Oregon.”

“Do you think…?”

“It is difficult to say. We will look on the Internet.”

“Vladimir? George. Have you heard the news about the stockpiles of Saddam’s WMD in
Syria?”

“We heard. I could have told you.”

129
“Why didn’t you?”

“Politics.”

“The reason I called is that I’m calling in the favor.”

“Iran?”

“Right. Can you keep China and the UN off our back so we can handle the problem in
Syria?”

“You’ll owe me big time, George.”

“We let those two spies of yours in, doesn’t that count for something?”

“Not that much.”

“What do you need?”

“A few hundred of the GBU-28 casings for the nuclear bombs. We’ll supply our own
bombs.”

“Is that all?”

“No, but it’s a start. We have some people working on adapting some of our weapons to
neutron bombs, again. I don’t suppose that you could sell us a couple of Nighthawks,
could you?”

“No way, but we could make some suggestions about how you could modify the TU-160
Blackjacks.” (The performance of the Russian Tu-160 is often compared to the US B-
1B. The aircraft has an operational range of 14,000km and a service ceiling of 16,000m.
The maximum flight speed is 2,000kph at high altitude and 1,030kph at low altitude. The
radar cross section of a B-1B Lancer is about 1 m².) The Tu-160 is an overgrown Tu-
122M3, the Backfire C.

“Deal. When are you carrying it out?”

“Next week. I’ve got to run, my people will be in touch with your people.”

“Goodbye, George.”

+++

“Did he buy it?”

130
“Yep. Tell them to go ahead and convert the Lancers back to nuclear/conventional plat-
forms. We’ll use some discretionary funds for the project.”

“What else, Sir?”

“Give them a copy of the blueprints for the B1-A and 300 of the GBU-28 casings we’re
using for our earth-penetrating nuclear weapons.”

“But the B-1A had problems.”

“Do you want them to have the B-1B?”

“No Sir.”

“They’ll still have problems; their Tu-160 needs better engines.”

“Yes Sir.”

“When?”

“Let’s do it Tuesday, I hate Mondays.”

As the B-1A Program was terminated in 1977, the DOD initiated a study through the Air
Force Scientific Advisory Board to determine the need and direction for future strategic
bombers. The results of the study concluded that a derivative of the B-1A, the B-1B,
was the best candidate to fulfill the nation’s needs within the envisioned mission re-
quirements and the projected deployment date. Although the B-1B retained the same
general geometrical shape of the B-1A, the shift in emphasis on penetration of highly
defended targets resulted in modifications to the more crucial aircraft systems, especial-
ly defensive systems. The B-1B has a maximum speed of only half that of the B-1A, but
it incorporates many more advanced concepts for enhanced survivability. Then known
as the Long Range Combat Aircraft (LRCA), the B-1B was selected as the next strate-
gic bomber and endorsed for production by President Ronald Reagan in October 1981.

“What did he want?”

“They’re taking out Syria next week. I got some GBU-28 casings and information on the
B1-B in exchange.”

“Comrade, it would have been better to get information on the B1-A, it was a better air-
craft in many respects.”

131
“If I know George, he’ll send us copies of the blueprints for the B-1A that are labeled B-
1B. Keep a satellite watch on their Lancers. He’ll probably convert them back to nuclear
bombers.”

“Did he say when?”

“George hates Mondays, so my guess would be Tuesday.”

“What else did he say?”

“Well, he obviously knows about Arkady and Vasily. Do you suspect that he knows that
Tanya and Sasha are on the payroll too?”

“The information was closely held. Not even Arkady and Vasily know.”

“Good. Thank you, Comrade.”

Jack and Cindy had another girl and Bruce and Mona another boy. They had planned
on the opposite so desperately they swapped the names they had picked out. Jack and
Cindy named their little girl Mona Susan and Bruce and Mona named their little boy
John Anthony. Both babies were born in late May 2007. Sasha and Tanya had their ba-
bies later during the summer.

The operation in Syria had gone off without a hitch. China made a lot of noise because
they were losing all of their friends in the Middle East. They were cautioned to stay out
of it. They had 400 nuclear weapons and Russia had 10,000. The United States, they
were told, had clearly proven the superiority of their stealth aircraft. Besides, the US had
modified the B-1B’s and they could either carry convention weapons or nuclear weap-
ons. The US had about 5,600 active weapons in their inventory.

The Chinese response was that they had those 40 Backfire C bombers and could re-
spond to Russia in kind. The Russians then told the Chinese about their newly modified
Tu-160 Blackjack bombers that incorporated several features of the American B-1A
bombers and improved engines they’d bought from the British under license. That ex-
changed ended up as a standoff.

Several nations raised hell in the UN, again. The President of the Russian Federation
told the world, again, that the two B-2 Bombers that had left Arabia had flown straight to
Guam. The United States maintained its fleet of B-2 bombers at Royal Air Force Fair-
ford in the United Kingdom; Anderson AFB, Guam; Diego Garcia; and, Whiteman AFB,
Missouri. That was up until they redeployed the bombers from Whiteman to Riyadh,
Arabia. The modified B-1B bombers were also redeployed.

132
The Air Force had anticipated completing the retirement and relocation of 33 B-1B
bombers by 01 October 2003. The number of operational B-1B air bases had also been
reduced from five to two. The Air Force anticipated that these initiatives would save $1.4
billion over five years. A total of eight of the retired B-1Bs were to be placed on display
at various Air Force bases. The remaining 24 were to be sent to the Aerospace Mainte-
nance and Regeneration Center at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base in Arizona. Of these,
10 of the B-1Bs at Davis-Monthan would be placed in storage, and the remainder used
to provide spare parts for the 60 bombers still in service. The retiring aircraft will com-
prise all of those built in 1983 and most built in 1984. The 10 aircraft at Davis-Monthan,
together with the 60 bombers still on active service were modified. There wasn’t enough
money to bring the others out of retirement.

“Yes Comrade Colonel-General?”

“Sir, those explosives that disappeared in Iraq back in 2004 have turned up.”

“Where?”

“Vancouver, British Columbia. Four containers are aboard a container ship that is
scheduled to unload in Puget Sound.”

“Notify Vasily and Arkady. Have them touch bases with Jack and the new guy, what’s
his name?”

“Bruce Jenkins.”

“Right the reporter with the Washington Times. Tell Tanya and Sasha to break cover
and work with Arkady and Vasily. What’s the word on the terrorists?”

“We lost them, Comrade. The FBI is maintaining surveillance and one of the terrorists
spotted them before they spotted him. We lost him just outside of Detroit. Shouldn’t you
tell your friend?”

“Not yet. Let’s see if we can intercept the explosives. That will make George owe me an
even bigger one.”

“Comrade, those FBI agents are wasting their time watching the storage locker.”

“Would you rather have them free to watch our people?”

“No, Comrade.”

“Good Comrade Colonel-General. I guess I’ll have to find someone else to take over
command of the gulag in northern Siberia.”

133
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 15 – Explosive Situation

It should end, too, one of the longest-running (and most enjoyable) floating parlor
games for political junkies. Former Nixon aides John W. Dean III and Leonard Garment,
as well as others who wrote books about Throat, should be glad they got their royalty
checks when they did. Bill Gaines, the journalism professor whose classes researched
the Throat mystery year after year, will need a new syllabus.

But if the guessing game was diverting – as in fun – it also diverted discussion from
more significant aspects of Watergate. This week’s revelation doesn’t change our un-
derstanding of the crisis in any fundamental way.

For one thing, many people suspected all along that Felt was Throat, despite his deni-
als. (Woodward never ruled out Felt, though he did rule out a few other possibilities.)
Although few people knew Throat’s identity with certainty, the revelation is more a thrill
than a surprise. It’s not as if Deep Throat turned out to be former Secretary of State
Henry Kissinger or Nixon’s son-in-law, David Eisenhower – disclosures that might well
have rattled notions about Watergate, forcing historians to rethink Nixon’s relationship to
those closest to him.

I obviously wasn’t the only person who thought it was Henry, LOL.

“Jack? Arkady.”

“Arkady, what’s up?’’

“We’ve gotten new instructions, Jack. We need to get together ASAP.”

“We know, we’re already packing. You didn’t really think that your communications were
all that secure, did you?”

“A man has a right to hope.”

“That was a real surprise about the ladies, wasn’t it?”

“Vasily and I should have known. When will you get here?”

“The Coast Guard is closing all of the ports and has gotten the Canadians to agree.
We’re leaving in an hour, but even driving straight through; it will take a minimum of 24
hours.”

“We have a problem with our babies, Jack.”

“Are they sick?”

134
“No, but we don’t have anyone to watch them.”

“Any objections if we send one of our Nannies to watch them?”

“I like that, my friend. They will be very safe having a field operative watching them.”

“Her husband will come along.”

“Right, two operatives, that’s even better. Tell the FBI to stop watching Glendale and
start looking at Detroit.”

“Right.”

“Sir, its Jack. Arkady needs someone to watch their kids. I suggested sending one of
our Nannies and her husband.”

“I’ll handle it Jack, when are you leaving?”

“In about 10 minutes, Sir.”

“Anything else?”

“Arkady said to pull the FBI off Glendale and start looking in Detroit.”

“Detroit? Right, that figures. I’m on it. Drive carefully and my regards to Bruce and the
wives.”

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A federal judge has ordered the US Army to release more than
100 photographs and several videos taken by an American soldier relating to detainee
abuse at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, according to court documents.

Judge Alvin Hellerstein of the US District Court in Manhattan late on Wednesday or-
dered the Defense Department to process 144 photographs by June 30.

The photographs and videos, to be edited so the faces of soldiers are not shown, were
provided by Sgt. Joseph Darby, whose photos set off the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal
more than a year ago.

Hellerstein gave the government 10 days to estimate how long it would take to edit four
videos, also to be handed over.

135
How did a guy stupid enough to take photos and videos ever make it to Sergeant?

BEIJING (Reuters) – China’s Tiananmen Square democracy movement ended in 1989

with tanks rolling in and hundreds dead, but despite its brutal suppression there re-
mained a flicker of hope that one day there could be political change.

Yet as the nation approaches the 16th anniversary of the crackdown on the student-led
movement on Saturday, analysts say that hope looks increasingly distant in light of a
tightening climate for intellectuals and media.

The death in January of the top Chinese leader ousted for his sympathy with the move-
ment and a recent rash of detentions of reporters and academics has only made the
likelihood of political reform more distant, they said.

“There’s a reluctant coming to terms with the fact that China is not moving in a gradual-
istic opening direction, which has been the hope of everyone since Tiananmen – that
the aims of Tiananmen could somehow be reached gradualistically,” said Bruce Gilley,
a research fellow at Princeton University.

The dimming chances are no better symbolized than by the death this year of Zhao Zi-
yang, once the second-most powerful man in China before he was purged and placed
under house arrest for sympathizing with the student demonstrators.

“Surprise, surprise, surprise, Sergeant Carter!” I would have never guessed that the
Chinese would start acting like that!

Why drive when you could fly? Why not? Did you ever try to get your automatic weap-
ons on an airplane? Do you think the airline would accept you’re checked ammo for
your M203 or your Mk 15? I rather suspect not, regardless of the ID you showed them.

“You see, ma’am, I’m an analyst with the CIA who also happens to be with operations
and when we need to do an operation in the US, we just use USSS ID’s.”

“Charlie, get the guard’s, we have a loony trying to get on the plane. Are you folks to-
gether? Charlie, get the whole flippin’ bomb squad.”

Try to get on an airplane these days with a nail clipper in your pocket. If you have a
lighter in your pocket, they want to inspect your shoes to find the fuze. People have
been refused a seat on a plane for carrying a nail file. Box cutters seem to be an excep-
tion to the rule. If you light up a cigarette, it costs you about $10,000. I remember when
they used to give complimentary packages of 4 cigarettes.

136
°

“Ready to go?”

“The sitters got here yesterday, they flew.”

“What are you driving these days, Arkady?”

“A Mercedes. Very popular with the Russian Mafia.”

“Bruce and I have our pickup. Throw your things in the back of mine and tell Vasily to
put his in Bruce’s. We should be able to get to Seattle in about 32 hours driving straight
through.”

“How far?”

“Maybe 2,100 miles. Did you bring your weapons?”

“May we?”

“You’d better; I’m not lending you mine. The DCI gave the FBI a heads up, or at least he
said he would. How did you come up with Detroit?”

“We’ve had some people keeping any eye on your FBI surveillance team down in Glen-
dale. Just in case the terrorists showed up and were being extra careful.”

“And?”

“One man. Our people said he looked more like a Méxican than an Arab, but he kept a
lookout for a couple of days and spotted your FBI people when they changed shifts. He
slipped out of Glendale and our people lost him when he got to the Detroit area.”

“Just how many people do you have in this country, Arkady?”

“More than you have in the Federation.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, no. You know about our Presidents being thicker than thieves, right?”

“Maybe Russia is more open than the United States. What’s going on?”

“That Iran business was done by you for us, and we ran interference. Then we ran inter-
ference again when your people took out Syria. We couldn’t spot those B-2’s with a map
and a flashlight. You provided us with blueprints for the B-1A and we used them to up-
grade the Tu-160’s.”

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“Dang, I sure hope the White House knows what it’s doing. You do know that we’ve
known about you and Vasily all along, right?”

“It figured, but did you know about Tanya and Sasha?”

“Your wives?”

“Right. They went to The School.”

“I thought that was just a story that DeMille made up. But like I told you, we intercepted
your communications.”

“His story yes, but for a while we thought maybe we had a leak.”

“The next thing I know, you’re going to tell me that Red October is a real submarine.”

“Jack, I can’t answer that. But, if I could, I’d probably point out that Clancy got the name
wrong.”

“Everyone knows that your submarine fleet is sitting in port rusting away.”

“The old ships, yes. We are still fielding the one NATO calls Akula-II, the fast attack
boat. If you remember Clancy’s story, the Red October was basically a Typhoon with a
silent drive. Clancy called it a caterpillar drive. Plus, we launched two of the Sierra-II
boats. Your Seawolf class was the best thing you ever came up with, but you only built
3.”

“They were too darn expensive, Arkady. The Virginia class is about $2 billion a boat
cheaper.”

“Yes, I read that on Global Security. Is everything there is to know about the United
States on the Internet? It sure messes up the spying business.”

“Not everything, no. It’s the cost of an open society and a lot of Congressmen with big
mouths.”

“Did they stop the ships?”

“The Coast Guard has them all standing off the coast. We’d better find those explosives
or there’ll be hell to pay.”

“Wasn’t this a matter for your FBI?”

“They’re a little slow getting up to speed. Neither that terrorist or your people should
have been able to find them in Glendale.”

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“But you forget, Jack, I was there. There were only so many buildings with a clear view
of that storage locker. Anyway, now that Tanya and Sasha have broken their covers, I
don’t expect that the FSB will use us much longer.”

“One last mission and go out with a bang?”

“God, I hope not. Is EO 10995 in effect for this operation?”

“Not that I’ve heard.”

“I hope that they get those terrorists in Detroit. We’re further north than the US and our
winters have been hell for the last two years. Rumor has it that the President threatened
the Colonel-General with the command of a gulag in northern Siberia. Apparently the
Colonel-General recommended that he tell Bush about the terrorists being in Detroit.”

“You told me.”

“Right, but Vasily and I intend to stay in the US. We have a fair amount of money, beau-
tiful wives and the fishing isn’t half bad at the Lake of the Ozarks.”

“We were lucky, they found the ship,” Jack explained after visiting with a Coast Guard
Officer. “They’ve moved it to a location about 10 miles out in the Pacific and a bomb
squad is checking out the containers.”

“Are your explosives experts good?”

“Military EOD.”

“I hope…”

The blast was so loud that they heard it where they were in Port Angeles. Jack was
watching the ship through a pair of binoculars. It had disappeared into a large cloud of
flying metal and spray.

“Dammit,” Bruce exclaimed.

“I’m sorry,” Vasily added.

“How many?” Arkady asked.

“Four men.”

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“Sorry,” Arkady said next. “The good news is that whoever was waiting on the explo-
sives won’t be able to use them for something nefarious.”

“According to the Coast Guard and Customs, the paperwork said that the containers
were headed for Portland, Oregon.”

“What’s in Oregon?”

“Timber, mountains and farms.”

“Volcanoes? Oh, the Cascade Range.”

Most media outlets were carrying pictures of the ‘Israeli students’ the FBI was searching
for. The FBI had photos and their fingerprints; it was just a matter of time. A check with
Tel Aviv disclosed that the Passports numbers were genuine, but hadn’t been issued to
anyone. Now, the Mossad was involved. These people were unknown to any of the 3
intelligence agencies involved, except possibly to the Mossad but they had nothing to
say. Winter was fast approaching, just to make matters worse.

“I hope the kids are ok,” Vasily muttered.

“That Nanny is a nurse, Vasily. Your children are being very well taken care of.”

“Is it normal for a CIA operative to be a baby sitter in this country?”

“Not hardly, these are very special circumstances. We pay her customary wages and
the Agency picks up the slack.”

“Clancy never wrote about an arrangement like this in any of his books.”

“Clancy couldn’t even get the nomenclature right for the MP5/10. According to our in-
formation, the FSB has several babushkas on its payroll.”

“I didn’t know. Actually, Vasily and I know more about your country than we do our own.
That’s one of the reasons why it made sense to move to the United States.”

“Plus your assignment.”

“That, too. But, how much spying can two people do in the middle of Missouri?”

“Four people.”

“Right, Tanya and Sasha. Same question.”

“That’s why nothing has been done to interfere with the two of you turning into survival-
ist types. The DCI personally took care of the weapons you wanted.”

140
“Really? I didn’t know.”

“If the people in this country had any idea how much our Presidents collaborate, they’d
have a fit. If they knew about the 4 of you, they’d be screaming for your arrests. Most
Americans have a thing about Communists. It probably goes back to Joe McCarthy.”

“I’m not a Communist; I’m Russian Orthodox. Besides, you people even have a Com-
munist Party in this country.”

“You guys are way off the subject,” Bruce intervened. “Where are the terrorists planning
to hit us next?”

“That’s obvious, buddy, the Cascade Range.”

“There are 15 dormant volcanoes in the Cascade Range in Oregon, assuming you
count the Three Sisters as a single mountain.”

“We’ll head back tomorrow, Bruce. There’s nothing we can do here and the FBI can
handle it.”

“How about we swing by Yellowstone on the way back? I never did get there, you
know.”

“The satellite pictures of Yellowstone show nothing more than a wasteland, Bruce,” Va-
sily offered. “We can go, but there’s nothing to see.”

“I’m working on a book and I’d like to see it.”

“What are you calling your book, The Great Escape?”

“That’s only Part I.”

They filled the SAC in Seattle in on what they knew and suspected and left it to the FBI
to solve the problem. Technically, it was outside of their Charter. They went to Yellow-
stone on their way back to Missouri. It looked more like the Moon than northwestern
Wyoming. Bruce took some pictures, made some notes and they followed Mona and his
escape route for most of the way to Osage Beach. They dropped the two Russian cou-
ples off and the Nanny and her husband headed for the airport in St. Louis. It was a
somber journey from Osage Beach to Vienna. They visited about the possibilities of the
terrorists being able to trigger a volcanic eruption in Oregon. Bruce wrote a follow up
piece for the Washington Times and continued to work on his book. Jack, Cindy and
Mona were back at the Agency.

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°

The terrorists did have a plan C; they’d figured it out at the same time as they figured
out plan B. It had nothing to do with volcanoes or nuclear weapons. It was all about re-
venge for the destruction of Saudi Arabia, Iran and now, Syria. They ditched the Israeli
Passports in a trashcan and became illegal Méxican immigrants. They set up shop in
Reston, Virginia, not that far from Dulles International Airport. Their new hideaway was
about 8 miles from where Jack and Bruce owned their homes. If necessary, the terror-
ists could take local highways all of the way to Andrews AFB in Maryland. They could
hook into the Beltway (I-495) via the Dulles Airport Access Road. They figured that all
American Presidents were the same so it didn’t matter if they got Bush or his successor.

With the terrorists’ sudden change in plans, the FBI was left without a clue. The terrorist
names and pictures were added to the FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorist List. Some of the
people on the list were wanted since 1985 for hijacking of TWA Flight 847 and killing
American diver Robert Stethem.

US Immigration and Customs Enforcement was established in March 2003 as the larg-
est investigative arm of the Department of Homeland Security. ICE is comprised of five
integrated divisions that form a 21st century law enforcement agency with broad re-
sponsibilities for a number of key homeland security priorities. Their most recent high
profile arrest came when they arrested a guy when he was released from a US prison.
He came out the door wearing cuffs and they were able to handle him.

According to a comprehensive 1999 study by Alan J. Kuperman, some of the estimated

900 to 1,200 FIM-92A Stingers delivered to Afghanistan in the 1980s were diverted
while en route through Pakistan. The Stinger is 5’ long and weighs 12.5 pounds. It has a
range of 1 to 8km, a ceiling of 10,000’ and is guided by a fire-and-forget passive infrared
seeker. Air Force One has anti-missile systems built in. If the terrorists decided to try
and take out AF-1 with a Stinger, they’d be better off, in my opinion, to make an up
close and personal shot and hope the defense systems didn’t have a chance to kick in.
They probably knew that, it is on the Internet if you knew where to look.

If you looked on the Internet, here is what you’d find: The mission of the VC-25A aircraft
– Air Force One – is to provide air transport for the President of the United States. The
Presidential air transport fleet consists of two specially configured Boeing 747-200B’s –
tail numbers 28000 and 29000 – with the Air Force designation VC-25A. When the
President is aboard either aircraft, or any Air Force aircraft, the radio call sign is “Air
Force One”. In the early 1990s Air Force One was secretly outfitted with a directed infra-
red countermeasures (DIRCM) system to protect it from a missile attack. According to
some reports, the plane can also eject flares to throw heat-seeking missiles off course.

142
Maj. Alton Glenn Miller was only 40 years old when he disappeared. The Iowa-born
band leader left behind his wife, Helen, and their two small children – a son, Stevie,
adopted in 1942, and a daughter, Jonnie (whom Miller never had a chance to see),
adopted in late 1944. Both were adopted from the Cradle Society in Evanston, Ill. The
question is what ever happened to Glenn Miller’s family? The reason I ask is that some-
one on IMDb wanted to know. I found the answer after 90 minutes of searching, but do
you know the answer? Go ahead and look; and good luck! They’ve disproved the theory
that his plane was brought down by British bombers dropping their bombs after an
aborted mission, based on maps of the flights.

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 16 – Downtime

Did I forget to mention that the FIM-92A Stinger has IFF software? It wouldn’t work on
AF-1 unless they could figure out how to disable the IFF feature. Stinger also is de-
signed for the threat beyond the 1990s, with an all-aspect engagement capability, and
IFF (Identification-Friend-or-Foe), improved range and maneuverability, and significant
countermeasures immunity. The missile, packaged within its disposable launch tube, is
delivered as a certified round, requiring no field testing or direct support maintenance. A
separable, reusable gripstock is attached to the round prior to use and may be used
again.

The SA-7 GRAIL (Strela-2) man-portable, shoulder-fired, low-altitude SAM system is

similar to the US Army REDEYE, with a high explosive warhead and passive infrared
homing guidance. The SA-7 was the first generation of Soviet man portable surface-to-
air missiles. Although classed as “fire and forget” types, the missiles were easily over-
come by solar heat and, when used in hilly terrain, by heat from the ground. The SA-7
seeker is fitted with a filter to reduce the effectiveness of decoying flares and to block IR
emissions. The system consists of the missile (9K32 & 9K32M), a reloadable gripstock
(9P54 & 9P54M), and a thermal battery (9B17). An identification friend or foe (IFF) sys-
tem can be fitted to the operator’s helmet. Further, a supplementary early warning sys-
tem consisting of a passive RF antenna and headphones can be used to provide early
cue about the approach and rough direction of an enemy aircraft. Although the SA-7 is
limited in range, speed, and altitude, it forces enemy pilots to fly above minimum radar
limitations, which results in detection and vulnerability to regimental and divisional air
defense systems.

The SA-14 GREMLIN (Strela-3 9K34) man-portable SAM is the successor to the SA-
7/SA-7b (Strela-2 9K32 and Strela-2M 9K32M). The system consists of the 9P59 grip-
stock, 9P51 thermal battery/gas reservoir, and 9M36-1 missile. The external appear-
ance of the SA-14 is very similar to the SA-7, and the gripstock, launch canister and aft
missile body are almost identical. The most significant differences are the new seeker
system and the substitution of a ball-shaped 9P51 thermal battery and gas reservoir for
the SA-7’s canister shaped battery.

The SA-18 GROUSE (Igla 9K38) is an improved variant in the SA-7 & SA-14 series of
man portable SAMs. As with the earlier SA-14, the SA-18 uses a similar thermal bat-
tery/gas bottle, and the SA-18 has the same 2-kilogram high explosive warhead fitted
with a contact and grazing fuse. But the missile is of entirely new design with substan-
tially improved range and speed. The new seeker and aerodynamic improvements ex-
tend its effective range, and its higher speed enables it to be used against faster tar-
gets. The SA-18 has a maximum range of 5200 meters and a maximum altitude of 3500
meters. The 9M39 missile SA-18 employs an IR guidance system using proportional
convergence logic. The new seeker offers better protection against electro-optical jam-
mers; the probability of kill against an unprotected fighter is estimated at 30-48%, and
the use of IRCM jammers only degrades this to 24-30%. a similar thermal battery/gas
bottle, and the SA-18 has the same 2-kilogram high explosive warhead fitted with a con-

144
tact and grazing fuse. But the missile is of entirely new design with substantially im-
proved range and speed. The new seeker and aerodynamic improvements extend its
effective range, and its higher speed enables it to be used against faster targets.

Were it not for the basic difference in political philosophies the US and Russia could
probably be friends. It would beat the hell out of being friends with the Chinese, wouldn’t
it? The United States and Russia have similar weapons. Compare a Su-27 to an F-15.
During Vietnam, those second rate SA-2 Russian Surface to Air Missiles brought down
a lot of American planes. During the Russian excursion into Afghanistan during the
1980’s the FIM-92A Stingers brought down a lot of Russian Aircraft, mostly choppers.
We never perfected the B-70 bomber, but the Russians did, the T-4/S100. They don’t fly
them anymore, but that’s not the point. From Global Security: The Russian Air Force is
planning a limited upgrade for the Tu-160 fleet. I didn’t know that, I wonder where they
got the idea? Global Security also claims that Russia only has 14 Tu-160 bombers. That
was then, this is now; with a new set of blueprints and better engines, maybe they’d in-
crease their fleet to 92 and make them multi-role nuclear/conventional bombers. China
had bought 40 of their older Backfire C’s, which weren’t half bad bombers. They’d have
to build these planes themselves. The Tu-160 had been built in the Ukraine.

Why did the US call the Nighthawk a fighter when it was clearly a bomber? One reason
was to conceal the fact that it was a bomber, according to the Military Channel. It should
probably be called an attack fighter. I forget the other reason; I’ll have to watch the show
again. The F-117A had no weapons, except for its load of bombs. We have 54 with 36
in the Primary Mission Aircraft Inventory. We also have 20 B-2 Spirits, so we do have an
edge on our Russian friends. We originally had 21, but stuff happens.

SINGAPORE (AP) – China’s military buildup, particularly it’s positioning of hundreds of

missiles facing Taiwan, is a threat to Asian security, US Defense Secretary Donald
Rumsfeld said Saturday.

Central to the disagreement is Taiwan, a self-governing island Beijing regards as a ren-

egade territory. China has said it will attack Taiwan if the island tries to declare inde-
pendence, and it repeatedly calls on the United States to stop selling weapons to Tai-
wan.

Similar US criticism of North Korea has sparked an angry response from Pyongyang.
The state-run Korean Central News Agency this week called Vice President Dick Chen-
ey a “bloodthirsty beast” for saying that North Korean leader Kim Jong-il was irresponsi-
ble. US President George W. Bush and other administration officials say the US has no
intention of attacking North Korea. Tensions between the two nations have been rising
in recent months.

“Surprise, surprise, surprise!”

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°

Now maybe I understand Arkady and Vasily wanting to get out of Russia. If there ever
were another world war, I’d prefer to be in the US too. All it would take to trigger WW III
was a statement from the Island of Formosa, declaring the Independence of Taiwan.
China would attack Taiwan and the US would live up to its Treaty. Maybe Vladimir was
being nice to the US because he figured that when China let its ICBM’s fly, they’d fly in
all directions. I wonder which of the two super powers had agreed to take out North Ko-
rea. During the Soviet era, Vladivostok’s military role eclipsed its trading function. It has
maintained its naval importance as the headquarters of the Russian Pacific Fleet.
Homeport of the Russian Pacific Fleet, Vladivostok has a complement of at least 65 ma-
jor surface combat ships, 50 nuclear and 25 non-nuclear submarines. It is a
SLBM/SSBN Port, ask Arkady.

The third winter wasn’t any worse than the second; maybe things were improving,
slightly. Those terrorists started a janitorial service as a cover. Money wasn’t a problem
and they acquired all new equipment. It should have made them stand out like a sore
thumb, but it didn’t. People probably figured all the new equipment had been purchased
with drug money. Unlike your typical Méxican illegal, these Méxicans all spoke excellent
English, with a British accent no less. They were a very unusual group of men.

Russian women were frequently very beautiful. They tended to put on a little weight in
their older years. Anyone looked around the US lately? Except for the language and po-
litical philosophy, the Russians weren’t that different from the people in the United
States. Was Vladimir Putin really all that much different from George W. Bush? On the
domestic front, both countries were faced with similar problems. Putin used his military
to put down rebellion. Bush used his military to put Middle Eastern terrorists in their
place. Both countries had taken on Afghanistan. Both countries had pilots in Vietnam,
just on opposing sides. Would you rather have the Russians on your side or shooting at
you? I’m not so sure that even the French liked the French. Typically, France blamed
the United States for the state of the weather.

What the world needed was a super power club. Hmm, maybe we already had one and
it didn’t include Beijing. The US was also getting an edge on their Russian buddies with
the F-22 Raptor. The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter was slow in coming and costs were ris-
ing, but what was new about that? The Military Industrial Complex always underesti-
mated the cost of new weapons systems. There was a program on the Military Channel
titled Future Guns where they demonstrated the M307 and the M29. If you missed it,
don’t worry about it; they repeat their schedule over and over. They have more airtime
than they have material to show. The program even included the new chemical powered
airborne laser system the Air Force is building in 747’s and the rail guns they intend to
use to replace the 120mm guns in the Abrams. Buck Rogers in the 21st, not 25th, Cen-
tury. I wasn’t impressed with the M29. Can you spell ‘Piece of Crap’?

If the US did manage to perfect any of those systems, Arkady would just claim that they
were invented in Russia. You did notice, I presume, that the only Russian built firearms

146
Arkady and Vasily had were AK-47’s and the Kalashnikov based Saiga 12K shotguns?
Their MBR’s and handguns were German. And, they didn’t have the AK-74’s. The Rus-
sians intended to replace the AK-74’s with AN-94, again in the venerable 7.62x39mm
cartridge. Economics and ergometrics interfered. Even they didn’t like the 22’s. If the US
and Russia reinvented the wheel any more, it would be square and made out of plastic
and only fire bullets containing computer chips. I can’t imagine why they even bothered
with a bayonet for the M16 rifle. If the enemy got that close, you could kiss them to
death.

After the Garand rifle replaced the M1903, the typical soldier had a belt containing 10 8-
round enbloc clips. 80-rounds and, if he was lucky, maybe one or two extra 6-pocket
bandoleers; in those days, a soldier made his shots count. It was called marksmanship
as opposed to spray and pray.

Regarding the false stories of John McCain’s conduct in the Hanoi Hilton: Again, there
are false stories floating around the net about McCain. He was never missing from our
group for six months. He never co-operated with the enemy. We have dozens of us who
lived with and around John for his entire time (10-26-67 to 3-14-73). Larry Carrigan, for
one, lived with or near both John and Ted Guy. Larry says Ted would never make the
statements, which are being attributed to him ...and Ted can’t set the record straight be-
cause he is dead.

We have dozens of roommates who will vouch for the loyalty and courage and conduct
of John McCain. Here is a more accurate story: John had both arms and at least one
leg badly hurt on ejection. He was bayoneted near the groin by a soldier as they were
pulling him from the lake. After three days of interrogations and no cooperation, he was
near death. They found out his father was Admiral McCain. They stopped the interroga-
tions, gave him medical care, brought in a French reporter (with camera), and let him
make a statement to his family that he was alive and would recover and come home.
After lying off the rough stuff, and trying to get John to cooperate by the “good guy”
treatment for a couple of weeks, they got po’d that he would not give information or co-
operate. So, they threw him in a cell with Bud Day (MOH recipient) and Major Norris
Overly. McCain was in danger of dying from maltreatment. Major Overly had to nurse
both men back to health. From that point on, McCain resisted just as hard as any other
POW. He went through the same interrogations and treatment.

His roommates can testify to his valor and patriotism. In short, I think that the slander-
ous reports by faceless people (and some are attributed to Ted Guy... which I doubt are
true) are from the bunch who are really po’d that McCain made a political decision to
back Clinton when Clinton decided it was time for “normalization” of diplomatic and
trade relations, and it was time to have Ambassadorial level representation. To many,
that made John a traitor. To most, it was just a political reality. It opened the door to bet-
ter cooperation for a host of areas, including a full accounting of the POW/MIA issue
(which is still an ongoing issue today. We have 2,060 yet to account for). If you want to
get the straight story on McCain’s conduct, please contact his roommates. Be sure to

147
vote for John Kerry or Hillary Clinton in 2008! Maybe Hanoi Jane will be Hillary’s running
partner.

I called this chapter ‘Downtime’ because even in a world gone mad, you don’t have
people setting off terrorist bombs every day. Consider how much planning went into the
attacks on the WTC and the Pentagon. Consider how much planning must have gone
into setting off Russian nukes in Yellowstone and Long Valley caldera. It was early 2008
and George W. Bush was finally really a Lame Duck President. As I said this winter
wasn’t any worse than the previous, maybe Bruce would get a chance to see if all of
those gasses from the eruptions really would cause a heating effect and melt the ice
caps causing an abrupt climate change.

As I consider this yarn, and the probability of something like this really happening, it oc-
curs to me that the probability of any single portion of the yarn being true are high. Much
is based on facts that the average person can verify on the Internet. Some of those
Russian missiles also have IFF, but it’s for Russian planes, not American planes.

Helen Burger Miller died in 1966; the children, who have no personal recollection of
their father, have pursued lives outside of music. Helen Dorothy Burger, m. Oct. 6,
1928; d. Jun. 2, 1966. On March 1, 1989 – what would have been Miller’s 75th birthday
– his daughter Jonnie Dee Miller bought the house in Clarinda where Miller was born.
The Glenn Miller Foundation was subsequently founded to oversee the restoration pro-
cess. Initially, nobody knew exactly how to go about it as very little was known about the
house as it existed in 1902; however, thanks to the publicity the foundation attracted,
one Bob Watson of Salem, Oregon came forward and offered help. His parents had
bought the house from the Millers when they moved in 1907, and thus Watson not only
knew a great deal about the house, but also had also several photographs of it. Major
restoration of the house began in March 1991, whereby newer additions to the home
were removed and the original layout was restored. In April 1992, at his daughter’s re-
quest, a stone was placed in Arlington National Cemetery.

How, where and when did Major Alton Glenn Miller die? Who cares, it was in 1944.
Whether his plane crashed in the English Channel, on the coast of France or he was
found dead in Paris doesn’t really make much difference, does it? Cover-ups were in-
vented in 6,000 BCE, about the same time as conspiracies. Et tu, Brute? “Yes, Julius, I
had pizza. Hold still, this is going to hurt me more than you.” But, you didn’t look to see,
I’ll bet, about Glenn Miller’s family. Trivial exercise, included to make a point. Almost
everything you ever wanted to know is on the Internet, if you know how to look. If you
did try, what did you search on, ‘Glenn Miller’, ‘Glenn Miller’s Orchestra’ or something
similar? The correct search term was ‘Glenn Miller’s family’, and patience to check out
several links and to follow them to where they led. To use the Internet, search your
memory for trivia about the subject that you want to know more about. If you’re an au-
thor who knows nothing about guns, check it out. It’s better than Global Security and
FAS for individual weapons.

148
°

Where was all the glory? There isn’t anything glorious about war. It is dirty, terrifying
and changes you forever. There is nothing glorious about being a spy, either. Maybe a
little less dirt, offset by more terror, but it changes you. There was nothing glorious
about surviving terrorists’ attacks. What you saw after a terrorist attack were frightened
people who overcame their fear to help their fellow man. It gave you a good feeling to
help someone. Whether it was pulling him or her from the wreckage of a building or
helping them to get away from volcanic ash, you would never be the same, having seen
what you had seen. Maybe it made you angry or made you hate the people responsible,
but you were never the same. Sometimes the terrorists were dead too. And sometimes
they parked the truck and walked away from the WTC or the Murrah federal building in
Oklahoma City. What is Terry Nichols still doing alive?

There are 168 reasons why he shouldn’t be; what’s the matter didn’t the glove fit? Is
there a difference between one terrorist and another? Nichols was convicted of 161
first-degree murder counts, but the jury could not agree on a sentence. A judge gave
Nichols 161 life prison terms for his role in the April 19, 1995 bombing of the Alfred P.
Murrah Federal Building that killed 168 people.

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma (AP) – Oklahoma taxpayers spent almost $4.2 million to
provide a defense for bombing conspirator Terry Nichols, paying for such things as
books, seminars, lawn care, coffee sweetener and an alarm system. Expenses filed by
court-appointed defense attorney Brian Hermanson included $28.05 so Nichols could
read the book, “The American Terrorist,” an account of the life of Oklahoma City bomb-
ing mastermind Timothy McVeigh.

A $300 claim was filed for lawn care costs for one of the defense attorneys, whose
$750-a-month rental house in McAlester was paid for by taxpayers during Nichols’ trial
before a Pittsburg County judge. Court officials questioned the lawn care expenses and
Hermanson’s $59.95-a-month cable bill in McAlester, but approved the expenses any-
way. Coffee sweetener that cost $3.99 was among the other claims filed. The fund was
tapped for $11.46 to pay for hemorrhoid medicine for an ailing juror and $427,392.24 for
security provided by Pittsburg County officials. Excuse me, but Jesus H. Christ!

On the road between Kuwait City and Basra, the coalition forces decimated the fleeing
Iraqis. Which brings up the same question that pertains to bombing Hiroshima and Na-
gasaki, who invaded whom? How many chances did the UN and the coalition give Sad-
dam to leave Kuwait? We stopped and didn’t go to Baghdad. Our mission was to liber-
ate Kuwait, not to defeat Saddam Hussein. Now we’re paying for that decision, but if we
hadn’t waited, would we have been doing Operation Iraqi Freedom in 1991 through
1996? The Gulf War in 1991 was all about oil, you know, Saddam Hussein stealing Ku-
waiti oil. Or was it the other way around?

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During the Iran-Iraq War of the 1980s, Kuwait was allied with Iraq, largely due to desir-
ing Iraqi protection from Islamic Iran. After the war, Iraq was extremely indebted to sev-
eral Arab countries, including a $14 billion debt to Kuwait. Iraq hoped to repay its debts
by raising the price of oil through OPEC oil production cuts, but instead, Kuwait in-
creased production, lowering prices, in an attempt to leverage a better resolution of their
border dispute. In addition, greatly antagonizing Iraq, Kuwait had taken advantage of
the Iran-Iraq War and had begun illegal slant drilling for oil into Iraqi reserves, and had
built military outposts on Iraqi soil near Kuwait. Furthermore, Iraq charged that it had
performed a collective service for all Arabs by acting as a buffer against Iran and that
therefore Kuwait and Saudi Arabia should negotiate or cancel Iraq’s war debts. Hus-
sein’s primary two-fold justification blended the assertion of Kuwaiti territory being an
Iraqi province arbitrarily cut off by imperialism, and the use of annexation as retaliation
for “economic warfare” Kuwait had waged through slant drilling into Iraq’s oil supplies
while under Iraqi protection.

Prior to World War I, under the Anglo-Ottoman Convention of 1913, Kuwait was consid-
ered to be an autonomous Caza within Ottoman Iraq. Following the war, Kuwait fell un-
der British rule and later became an independent emirate. However, Iraqi officials did
not accept the legitimacy of Kuwaiti independence or the authority of the Kuwaiti Emir.
Iraq never acknowledged Kuwait’s right to be an independent nation and in the 1960s,
the United Kingdom deployed troops to Kuwait to deter an Iraqi annexation. The war
with Iran had also seen the destruction of almost all of Iraq’s port facilities on the Per-
sian Gulf cutting off Iraq’s main trade outlet. Many in Iraq, expecting a resumption of war
with Iran in the future, felt that Iraq security could only be guaranteed by controlling
more of the Gulf Coast, including more secure ports. Kuwait thus made a tempting tar-
get.

At the break of dawn on August 2, 1990, Iraqi troops crossed the Kuwaiti border with
armor and infantry, occupying strategic posts throughout the country, including the
Emir’s palace. The Kuwaiti Army was quickly overwhelmed, though they bought enough
time for the Kuwaiti Air Force to flee to Saudi Arabia. Troops looted medical and food
supplies, detained thousands of civilians and took over the media. Iraq detained thou-
sands of Western visitors as hostages and later attempted to use them as bargaining
chips. Hussein then installed a new Iraqi provincial governor, described as “liberation”
from the Kuwaiti Emir; this was largely dismissed as war propaganda.

The United States and the remainder of the world got through the winter of 2007-2008
in admirable condition, considering. NOAA said that the worst was over and it and the
USGS raised concerns about the amount of volcanic gas in the air, it’s always some-
thing. Magma contains dissolved gases that are released into the atmosphere during
eruptions. Gases are also released from magma that either remains below ground (for
example, as an intrusion) or is rising toward the surface. In such cases, gases may es-

150
cape continuously into the atmosphere from the soil, volcanic vents, fumaroles, and hy-
drothermal systems.

At high pressures deep beneath the earth’s surface, volcanic gases are dissolved in
molten rock. But as magma rises toward the surface where the pressure is lower, gases
held in the melt begin to form tiny bubbles. The increasing volume taken up by gas bub-
bles makes the magma less dense than the surrounding rock, which may allow the
magma to continue its upward journey. Closer to the surface, the bubbles increase in
number and size so that the gas volume may exceed the melt volume in the magma,
creating a magma foam. The rapidly expanding gas bubbles of the foam can lead to ex-
plosive eruptions in which the melt is fragmented into pieces of volcanic rock, known as
tephra. If the molten rock is not fragmented by explosive activity, a lava flow will be
generated.

Together with the tephra and entrained air, volcanic gases can rise tens of kilometers
into Earth’s atmosphere during large explosive eruptions. Once airborne, the prevailing
winds may blow the eruption cloud hundreds to thousands of kilometers from a volcano.
The gases spread from an erupting vent primarily as acid aerosols (tiny acid droplets),
compounds attached to tephra particles, and microscopic salt particles. Did I see the
word acid? That was part of the problem that would lead to an abrupt climate change
wasn’t it? Acid in the air from burning dirty coal, right? The sulfur in the coal smoke
mixed with water in the air and became acid rain.

Dr. Driscoll (Syracuse) said that the group’s research also suggested that the interplay
between acid rain and global warming, though caused by different types of industrial
gas pollutants, is also more complicated than had previously been believed. In particu-
lar, he said, many widely reported tree deaths in parts of the Adirondacks and New Eng-
land in recent years were attributed mainly to shifts in the regional climate. The research
suggests, however, that the trees were weakened first by acidified soils that made them
less able to withstand climate changes. Dr. Driscoll thus disputed the claims by others
that acid rain reduced the global warming because of the sulfur in the air.

Bruce started working on the second section of his book, which chronicled the winters
caused by the caldera eruptions. He also started to gather information from the Internet
on what the USGS and NOAA were suggesting. Both Bruce and Jack had decided that
2 kids apiece were enough and had discretely visited a doctor. They tell you before that
it’s a painless procedure… Right, maybe in train stations in India. The pain didn’t kill
them but for a few days they’d wished they’d died.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, you got that right. This wasn’t one of our better ideas. At least the Times will let
you work from home; I have to take time off. What’s new at the Agency did you or the
FBI ever find those terrorists?”

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“They dropped off the face of the earth.”

“Everyone has to be somewhere, Jack. For all we know, they’re living right down the
road, pretending to be Méxicans. Have you talked to Arkady and Vasily lately?”

“Every time I call I get an answering machine. Did they say anything to you about Tanya
and Sasha liking to fish?”

“No, but they did say that the Lake of the Ozarks was good fishing.”

“How’s about you and I go see them when we can walk again?”

“That could be a month or two.”

“Whenever buddy,” Jack acknowledged.

It was only a week before they could take off for Missouri. Cindy and Mona wanted to
come along. They loaded their equipment in the back of the pickup and took off, little
suspecting that they might end up needing it before they could get back home. They
didn’t drive straight through like the last time and the trip took 3 days. When they ar-
rived, they followed the other two couples into their driveways.

“Been to town?”

“Been to Oregon, Jack. We found the mine that we believe the terrorists intended to use
to cause a volcanic eruption,” Arkady explained.

“Where was it?”

“In the Siskiyou Mountains.”

“Any particular mountain in the Siskiyou Mountains?”

“If you’re asking if it has a name, I’m sure it does. We didn’t get it but it doesn’t matter
anyway.”

“Why doesn’t it matter?”

“It collapsed recently, closing the mine.”

“Natural collapse?”

“After we detonated some Semtex, yes.”

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“You shouldn’t be going around the country blowing up mines, Arkady.”

“Why not, we don’t work for the Agency. Our Charter is to DO things in the United
States. Can I help it if it was something good instead of something bad?”

“Still…”

“Did you find the terrorists yet?” Vasily asked.

“Bruce seemed to think they were living right down the road posing as Méxicans.”

“Are they?”

“How would I know something like that?”

“You’re a spy, did you check it out?”

“Why should I?”

“Because maybe the terrorists are living down the road posing as Méxicans. It would be
a perfect location. They could even go to Andrews and shoot down the President’s
plane,” Arkady explained.

“Bite your lip, Arkady.”

“Why? Because you won’t go look and see if the terrorists are in the last place anyone
would ever think to look, like Washington?”

“It would be the last place anyone would think to look, wouldn’t it? Ok, I’ll look.”

“Just be careful, I don’t want to have to break in another CIA field agent.”

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 17 – Dumb Luck

…is better than having no luck at all. They spent a few days visiting and then headed
back. They couldn’t go fishing because it was still too cold. The conversation about the
terrorists hiding out in DC continued off and on and Jack and Bruce decided to have a
look around when they got home. Metropolitan Washington DC had a 1990 population
of 3,923,574. By 2000, it had reached 4,796,183. Terrorists love Washington, DC.

The Washington area was the target of at least one of the four hijacked planes in the
September 11, 2001 attacks. One plane struck the Pentagon in Arlington County, killing
125 people in addition to the 64 aboard the plane, while another that was downed in a
field in Pennsylvania is believed by many to have been intended to hit either the White
House or the US Capitol.

Shortly thereafter, Washington endured an anthrax attack, when what may have been a
domestic terrorist sent anthrax-contaminated mail to numerous members of Congress.
Thirty-one staff members were infected, and two US Postal Service employees at a
contaminated mail sorting facility at Brentwood later died.

During three weeks of October 2002, John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo killed
ten people and wounded three others in the region in what became known as the Belt-
way Sniper attacks. In March 2004, Muhammad was sentenced to death and Malvo to
life imprisonment for the attacks by a Virginia court.

In November 2003, the toxin ricin was found in the mailroom of the White House, and in
February 2004, in the mailroom of US Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. As with the ear-
lier anthrax attacks, no arrests have been made.

Partly in response to these events from the past few years, the Washington area has
taken many steps to increase security. Screening devices for biological agents, metal
detectors, and vehicle barriers are now much more commonplace at office buildings as
well as government buildings, and in transportation facilities. At one time, The District
was the murder capital of the country. The crime has since moved east into Maryland.

If Terrorists love Washington, DC, what must it be like for spies? How many foreign em-
bassies are there in Washington? About 200; not every country in the world is repre-
sented. How many of those embassies have an intelligence function, e.g., spies? It
would probably be easier to tell which ones don’t, as in none. They may not be spying
on the United States, but intelligence is intelligence. A simple definition of intelligence is
information. The list of countries with spies in the United States includes our friends and
allies. It’s ok because we do it to them, too. The International Spy Museum, a private
company, is in Washington.

154
Most Americans remember exactly where and when they learned about terrorist attacks
in America on September 11th, 2001 and regard these events as a turning point that
forever changed their sense of security in the United States. Were Americans safe from
attack prior to this date? No. History reveals over 125 major incidents of subterfuge, ter-
ror, or violence on American soil by enemies within its borders, many with deadly con-
sequences and grave impact. Each time, Americans responded with renewed patriot-
ism, determination, and a quandary: how can the country be made more secure without
compromising the civil liberties upon which it was founded? George W. Bush’s answer
to the question was: The USA Patriot Act. Was The USA Patriot Act the new reality of
the 21st Century? It has sunset provisions; the February 28, 2011 sunset was extended
to May 28, 2011. The only law in recent memory that sunset was the widely popular As-
sault Weapons Ban that went just a little too far, at the time. Just wait until the Demo-
crats have the White House and Congress again. Patriot Act II was only proposed, nev-
er adopted despite what this story says.

MODANE, France – An Alpine tunnel linking France and Italy will remain closed indefi-
nitely as a criminal probe begins into a truck fire that killed two people, French officials
said Sunday. The fire was on the Italian side of the tunnel, Soupra said. A spokesman
for the Italian Interior Ministry said the fire resulted from a collision between two trucks.
Most of the truck traffic – about 3,800 trucks per day on average – was likely to be re-
routed through the Mont Blanc tunnel, requiring a 200-km (124 mile) detour. French
transport officials were unable to estimate when the fire damage could be repaired to
allow the tunnel to reopen.

With the French conducting the investigation, I suspect the tunnel will be closed for
years. Since when does an accident require a criminal investigation? Since the French
voted down the European Union.

SINGAPORE (AP) – The United States plans to decide its next move on North Korea in
the next several weeks, which could include referring the matter of Pyongyang’s nuclear
weapons program to the United Nations, a senior defense official said Sunday. North
Korea has said it would interpret UN penalties as an act of war. But it is not clear
whether North Korea actually would consider military action or whether the statement
was just more of the country’s harsh rhetoric.

Nuke ‘em and blame the Chinese.

HOUSTON, Texas (AP) – NASA’s new administrator and House Majority Leader Tom
DeLay, R-Texas, vowed the space agency will have the necessary funding to implement
President Bush’s vision to send astronauts back to the moon and to Mars.

155
Permit me to explain why there is such urgency:

LONDON, England (Reuters) – The devastating impact of mankind on the planet is

dramatically illustrated in pictures published on Saturday showing explosive urban
sprawl, major deforestation and the sucking dry of inland seas over less than three dec-
ades.

México City mushrooms from a modest urban center in 1973 to a massive blot on the
landscape in 2000, while Beijing shows a similar surge between 1978 and 2000 in satel-
lite pictures published by the United Nations in a new environmental atlas. Delhi sprawls
explosively between 1977 and 1999, while from 1973 to 2000 the tiny desert town of
Las Vegas turns into a monster conurbation of one million people – placing massive
strain on scarce water supplies. Page after page of the 300-page book illustrate in be-
fore-and-after pictures from space the disfigurement of the face of the planet wrought by
human activities. “Cities pull in huge amounts of resources including water, food, timber,
metals and people. They export large amounts of wastes including household and in-
dustrial wastes, wastewater and the gases linked with global warming.”

Do you Google?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – When Google Inc.’s 19 million daily users look up a long-
lost classmate, send e-mail or bounce around the Web more quickly with its new Web
Accelerator, records of that activity don’t go away. Some privacy experts who otherwise
give Google high marks say the company’s records could become a handy data bank
for government investigators who rely on business records to circumvent Watergate-era
laws that limit their own ability to track US residents. Google complies with law-
enforcement investigations, Wong said. She declined to comment on the frequency or
scope of those requests.

I do a lot of searching on the net, but I don’t use Google. That probably explains why my
FBI file is only a couple of inches thick. Fleataxi uses Google, but that’s ok, he fertilizes
a chicken egg AFTER it’s laid, like roe. It’s an easy fix, just save 1 in 20 of the fertilized
eggs. My friend SAW a picture of a farm, once. The guy in charge of Google’s security
is nicknamed Big Brother.

In other news:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Despite highly publicized charges of US mistreatment of

prisoners at Guantanamo, the head of the Amnesty International USA said on Sunday
the group doesn’t “know for sure” that the military is running a “gulag.” He also said he
had “absolutely no idea” whether the International Red Cross had been given access to

156
all prisoners and said the group feared others were being held at secret facilities or lo-
cations.

BEIJING (Reuters) – China took a tough line on Saturday in trade talks with US officials
on its surging textile exports, signaling no quick breakthrough in a row that threatens to
spill over into the diplomatic arena.

SINGAPORE (Reuters) – Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld accused China on Sat-

urday of enhancing its ability to project power at a time when it faced no threat and said
Beijing will have to expand political freedoms to maintain economic growth and influ-
ence.

The more Europe changes, the more divided it remains. By now the French have gone
through a revolution that ended in a dictatorship, five republics, three monarchies, a
couple of empires, an occupation or two, a fascist puppet state, assorted reigns of terror
and numerous constitutional revisions and rejections. Remember Dominique de Villepin,
the diplomat with all the airs of the self-published “poet” he is? He’s to be the next
French premier, capping his inconsequential careers at both the Foreign and Interior
Ministries. How perfectly French. The man is the very image of refined futility. Nothing
seems to succeed in France like ... nothing. Europe remains as it has been: divided. An-
ti-Americanism and anti-Semitism can hold a Continent together only so long. But even
if Europeans do eventually adopt some kind of free-trade agreement gussied up as a
constitution, complete with an anthem and a foreign minister in name, they will still re-
main respectively French, Dutch, German, Italian, British, et European al. Divided they
stand, or rather slouch. (Washington Times)

…and enacted a strict law (dubbed “the Hamburger Act”) that prohibits overweight and
obese people from suing fast-food restaurants for their weight problems. (Texas Legis-
lature)

From The Washington Post:

For a decade, FBI agents covertly monitored every telephone call and fax sent and re-
ceived by Florida university professor Sami al-Arian as he communicated with alleged
top leaders of the Palestinian Islamic Jihad terrorist group about its suicide bombings of
Israelis, shaky finances and high-level turf struggles.

Starting tomorrow, many of those 20,000 hours of phone calls and hundreds of faxes
will be revealed in a federal courtroom in Tampa, where al-Arian and three other alleged
members of the terrorist group will be tried on charges of conspiracy to commit murder
through suicide attacks in Israel and the Palestinian territories.

The trial, expected to last at least six months, will provide a rare view of what the gov-
ernment contends are the clandestine operations of a terrorist group. It is the first case

157
in which vast amounts of communications monitored under the Foreign Intelligence
Surveillance Act (FISA) will make up the bulk of the evidence in a criminal prosecution
of alleged terrorists – demonstrating the enormous power the government now wields
under that counterterrorism law.

The wiretaps, approved in 1993 through 2003 on as many as 10 phones by a secret

FISA court, were originally intended for use only by FBI agents conducting open-ended
“intelligence” probes, and not for use in criminal trials. But after the Sept. 11, 2001, at-
tacks, the enactment of the USA Patriot Act and a ruling by the super-secret FISA court
of appeals allowed much greater use of intelligence material in investigations such as
this one.

To quote Alfred E. Newman: “What, Me worry?” They’re doing it to protect us. The
question is, ‘from whom’? We don’t need a natural disaster or an act of terrorism; we
have our own government to worry about, just like the Russians. Say, you can’t see my
red neck from the front row bleachers, can you?

Update: Mistrial. In 2006, he pled guilty to one count and was sentenced to 57 months,
reduced by time served. He later refused to appear before federal grand juries, twice,
and was charged with criminal contempt. He lives with his daughter in northern Virginia,
under house arrest. Motion before the court to dismiss the criminal contempt charges.

Did you read the 5-page article in the Washington Post by Bob Woodward? He explains
how he got to know Deep Throat. I thought it was pretty self-serving but why would it
need to be? Woodward is a millionaire while Bernstein isn’t rich and Felt is dead. Who
made the most money out of the Watergate scandal? I’ll give you one guess; Robert
Redford played him in the movie, ‘All the President’s Men (1976)’. Why all the secrecy
who over Deep Throat was? Because Felt was breaking the law when he gave the in-
formation to Woodward and Bernstein. I knew who it was all the time – Hal Holbrook.

The CIA hadn’t always posed as USSS. During the 1950’s their usual covert pose, with-
in the United States, was as military officers. It worked very well and they went around
trying to deal with UFO stories. They weren’t part of Project Bluebook, but were in ca-
hoots with the Air Force. Eventually, they switched to using USSS ID. It gave the Agen-
cy a better cover in that they could always claim it was a counterfeiting investigation. It
wasn’t until Putin became President of the Russian Federation that relations between
the US and Russia had gotten so good. Reagan had gotten along with Gorby, but that
was nothing like what George and Vladimir had, two peas out of the same pod.

158
“When we get back to Vienna, the first thing I have to do is find someone to clean the
house, we lost our cleaning lady,” Jack commented.

“I heard about a new company up in Reston,” Bruce suggested. “It’s run by some Méxi-
cans, probably illegals because they have really low rates. They do houses, too.”

“Let’s stop by on the way back,” Cindy followed, “The house was pretty dirty.”

“You were planning on taking I-70 anyway, Jack; it wouldn’t be much out of your way.
Let’s stay in St. Louis tonight.”

“I was planning on staying in Columbus, Ohio.”

“Making the drive in 2 days instead of 3?”

“Yes. Taking 3 days to go less than 1,000-miles doesn’t make much sense to me and
we’ll save a night’s lodging.”

“Like I was telling you, Jack, that company in Reston has lower rates than anyone else.
I heard about them at the paper.”

“I’ve already figured we’d just stop and see them on the way into town. Is that ok with
you, Cindy?”

“I told you, don’t you remember?”

“I knew I’d heard it somewhere dear.”

They stayed at a Holiday Inn. The original Holiday Inn was located in Pennsylvania
along I-80 and was not affiliated with the chain that was formed in 1952 in Memphis,
Tennessee. The chain got its name from the Bing Crosby Movie of the same name, as a
joke. The Pennsylvania motel of the same name has a big sign disclaiming a relation-
ship with the chain. Maybe it got its name from the movie, too.

“I’m glad you were still open,” Jack said entering the Reston office of the cleaning ser-
vice.

“Can I help you mate?” the Méxican asked.

Jack looked up and took a closer look at the guy; Méxicans shouldn’t have English ac-
cents or be using English slang. Recognition was almost instantaneous, but he tried to
keep it from his face.

“My wife and I are looking for a replacement housekeeper. You folks do homes, right?”

159
“Yes sir, where is your home located?”

“Vienna.”

“Where is that near?”

“It’s on 123 a little way up from Oakton.”

“What’s the address?”

Jack gave the guy a slip of paper with the address that Cindy had written out.

“Once a week, or more often? It’s the same rate either way, $75 a trip.”

“I’ll have to go ask my wife,” Jack replied. “She didn’t say and I’m not sure. I’ll be back in
a minute.”

Jack walked out to the pickup.

“Guess who I just ran in to? Those terrorists that are on the FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorist
List; you know, the guys from Detroit. Have you ever seen a Méxican with an English
accent?”

“Really?” Bruce said. “Mona call the DCI and ask him to arrange backup. Cindy, you
come with me and we’ll get the weapons out of the back.”

“Director.”

“Sir, it’s Mona Jenkins. The four of us are in Reston at a small company arranging for a
cleaning service and Jack says that the guys inside are the Detroit Terrorist bunch.”

“Don’t do anything, Mona. I’ll call the Director and get the HRT over there immediately.
What’s the address in Reston?”

Bruce and Cindy were getting the MP5/10’s from the back. They got all four plus 2 bags
filled with extra magazines. They went back to the front of the pickup and got back in.

“Did you reach the DCI?”

“He said he’d contact the Director and get the HRT. Bruce, he said not to do anything,
honey.”

The Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT), part of the Tactical
Support Branch of CIRG, is a full time, national-level tactical team, headquartered in
Quantico, Virginia. The mission of the HRT is to be prepared to deploy to any location

160
within four hours of notification by the Director of the FBI or his designated representa-
tive, and conduct a successful rescue of United States persons and others who may be
held illegally by a hostile force, either terrorist or criminal in nature. The HRT is also
prepared to deploy to any location and perform other law enforcement activities as di-
rected by appropriate authorities.

The HRT operationally deploys in support of FBI field divisions and performs a number
of law enforcement tactical functions in all environments and under a variety of condi-
tions. In its 17-year history, the team, or components of the team, have deployed on
over 200 occasions in support of FBI terrorism, violent criminal, foreign counter-
intelligence and other investigations. HRT has performed missions involving hostage
rescue, barricaded subjects, high-risk arrest and warrant service (raids), and dive
search. Additionally, the HRT has performed traditional law enforcement roles during
hurricane relief operations, dignitary protection missions, tactical surveys, and on occa-
sion, pre-positions in support of special events such as the Olympic Games, presidential
inaugurations, and political conventions.

“Quantico is 45 miles, it will take them half an hour minimum to get here.”

“Maybe longer, if they drive and come up the beltway, Bruce.”

“They will fly in, in a chopper, but it will still take them 30 minutes, minimum.”

“Here comes Jack,” Mona said.

“What’s the story?” Jack asked.

The HRT is on the way; I estimate about 30 minutes. The DCI told Mona not to do any-
thing.”

“I’ll drive the truck down the street and park. We’ll keep an eye on them until the HRT
gets here.”

“Cindy and I got the MP5’s out of the back and all of the extra magazines.”

The FBI must have called the Fairfax County Police Department. Fairfax Country
doesn’t have a SWAT Team, but they were under instructions to cordon off the area. An
officer came up to the 4 people keeping watch on the building and told them they’d have
to leave. Out came the USSS ID’s and Jack asked who was in charge. It was the Com-
mander of the Reston District office and Jack left to fill him in. The Commander had
worked with the USSS before and he knew a ringer when he saw one – Jack had a
USP Tactical, not the standard issue Sig Sauer P229, .357 Sig-caliber pistol. No doubt
he was thinking, “Oh, one of those guys…” Still, Jack did have the MP5/10 favored by
the USSS.

161
The economy is the Washington DC area is fairly stable because most of the people are
either directly or indirectly somehow involved in the federal government. And in good
times and bad for the remainder of the country, the government keeps on operating.
Washington is an interesting community in that much of the Civil War was fought in the
area. Manassas is only a short horse ride from downtown DC, the District. Gettysburg is
only a couple of hours away by car. Abraham Lincoln spent most of the Civil War sur-
rounded.

When the HRT showed up they joined the Fairfax County Police surrounding the build-
ing and before it was over, had killed the terrorists, who refused to surrender. They did a
body count and identified the terrorists, scratching their names off the FBI’s Most Want-
ed Terrorist List. Unfortunately, not all of the names added in one fell swoop were elimi-
nated, 4 of the terrorists weren’t present at their office. When they heard reports on ra-
dio and TV, they ducked and covered, going further underground. The FBI recovered
several AKM’s and 2 of the SA-14 GREMLIN’s. The AKM is the AK-47 with the stamped
metal receiver. (The folding butt version that had been developed for paratroop forces
was named AKS.)

The Washington Times had an exclusive this time; the police had kept the reporters at
bay. When Arkady and Vasily read the story, especially the part about the terrorists who
had avoided capture, they loaded up their vehicles and headed to Vienna, Virginia, driv-
ing straight through. The DCI also assigned their neighbors as additional guards.
Somehow, the rival Washington Post had printed its own article that named names;
something the Post had a habit of doing. Everyone has his Geraldo only in this case,
the last name was Woodward. Woodward couldn’t do any more with the story, Deep
Throat was 95 years old and buried in Santa Rosa, California.

“How many of them did you miss?” Arkady asked.

“Four. They were off doing a special cleaning job.”

“So they were in the Washington area masquerading as Méxicans, huh?”

“I must be losing my touch,” Jack lamented.

“Maybe you should just stay on your analyst desk and leave the fieldwork to younger
people,” Vasily suggested.

“What brings the four of you here?”

“We read the story in the Times. We brought the kids so they could play with your kids;
we didn’t have the DCI’s private number.”

“I thought the FSB knew everything,” Bruce observed.

162
“Not everything, did you have your usual, Post Grape Nuts for breakfast?”

“Bacon and eggs.”

“See. We brought our weapons but we can’t turn your neighborhood into a free fire
zone. Any suggestions?”

“I’ll get you some of the MP5/10’s.”

The remaining terrorists had lost their man portable SAM’s so they couldn’t go with plan
C and shoot down AF-1. They did however, read the Washington Post. The Post had
identified Jack, Cindy and Mona as being employees of the Agency, probably analysts.
Bruce was identified as an employee of the opposition Washington Times. Thus it came
to be, in the spring of 2008, that the 4 people found themselves to be targets of the ter-
rorists, they just didn’t know it. But Arkady, Vasily and the DCI suspected it. There was
a spacious townhouse apartment in the neighborhood and Arkady and Vasily rented it
so they could stay in Vienna. (The Russian Embassy paid for furnishings.)

Most people are creatures of habit. They drive to work the same way and at about the
same time every day. Habitual people are easy targets and as close as they were to the
Langley neighborhood of McLean, Virginia, there wasn’t much that they could do to vary
their drive to work. Consequently, the DCI told the 3 of them to work from home using
their T-3 lines. T-3 lines even permit real-time videoconferencing. Jack noticed some-
thing out of the ordinary about China and held a videoconference with the other analysts
and the DI. In a time when the entire world harvest was down, China was storing grain.

“What do you think it means, Jack?”

“Sir, there can only be on reason why China would be storing grain and that would be to
feed its Army in a protracted military campaign.”

“That coincides with an increase in their munitions production, Jack.”

“I think that they’re still miffed over Vladimir sitting on them when we bombed Syria,”
another analyst offered.

“Are they building transport ships?”

“Yes, but no more than normal.”

“That must mean that they’re either planning on attacking Russia or Taiwan. I’d better
pass this up to the DCI. He can coordinate it with the National Intelligence Director
(NID) and it might make it to the President before the election.”

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Sour grapes? It makes a whole lot of sense adding an extra layer to the already cum-
bersome intelligence community in the United States. Not! What they should have done,
IMHO, is consolidate ALL of the 15 or so intelligence agencies into a single organiza-
tion. But, what do I know?

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 18 – Thermonuclear War

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) – A senior Chinese diplomat on the run in Australia claims
China has a network of about 1,000 agents in the country who have been involved in
kidnappings of dissidents.

“We’re not staying around here, my friend,” Arkady announced. “It is a lot safer in
Osage Beach. You should come too. If the information you have and your analysis is
correct, we’re going to have a thermonuclear war.”

“What makes you think so, Arkady?”

“If China is building up in preparation for a war, Vasily and I think that they will attack
Taiwan. They wouldn’t dare confront the Federation directly. Your country has always
taken the position that if China attacks Taiwan, you will support the Nationalist govern-
ment. We’re leaving, the four of you and the children can come or not, it’s up to you.”

“I talk to the others. Is there any land available in Osage Beach?”

“You might not have time to build homes. Buy existing homes and upgrade them with
pre-manufactured shelters or just have shelters constructed. You have everything you
need, don’t you?”

“We do, yes. I’d guess that the Agency would want to keep the homes in the family be-
cause of the T-3 lines and the interconnecting tunnel system. Maybe they’ll buy our
homes and we can do as you suggest.”

“I have a career going with the Times,” Bruce complained. “Do you really believe we’re
going to have a war with China?”

“I can’t be sure, buddy, but it looks that way. I talked to the DCI and the Agency will buy
our homes and resell them to other employees. All we have to do is move our things.”

“Where would we go?” Mona asked.

“Osage Beach, Missouri where Vasily and Arkady live. I also talked to the DCI about
that and he said if we give him the word he would find us homes and get construction
started on shelters.”

“That’s going to take time, Jack.”

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“Maybe, but I half suspect the Agency already owns a couple of homes in Osage Beach
already so someone can keep an eye on our Russian friends.”

“Did you ask?”

“If the DCI wanted us to know, he would have told us.”

“Is there a newspaper in Osage Beach?”

“No, but there are 3 in the area, the Jefferson City News, the Lake Sun Leader and the
Waynesville Daily Guide. They are all within 30 miles of Osage Beach.” (Camden Coun-
ty supported George W. Bush in the 2004 presidential election.)

There were, in fact, two CIA safe houses according to CIA records in Osage Beach.
They were used to house agents who kept an eye on the Russians. The homes already
had very fancy shelters, even more elaborate than the shelters for the homes in Vienna,
Virginia. It was merely an exercise for an Agency employee to shuffle a lot of paper-
work. So elaborate were the Missouri shelters that the difference in the price of their Vi-
enna, Virginia homes and the Osage Beach homes was nominal, about $400,000, in
their favor. They took the difference in Krugerrands.

It took 2 separate semi tractor-trailer rigs to move all of their possessions because of
the large amount of supplies the two families had accumulated. This just sounds like a
spy story; actually it’s all about being prepared and dealing with TEOTWAWKI. They got
out of the Washington area just in time; the 4 remaining terrorists attacked Bruce and
Mona’s home shortly after they left and the new employees had moved in. The score, if
you keep track of these things, was CIA – lots, Terrorists – zip. This bunch of terrorists
seemed to have the worst luck in the world. Don’t kid yourself; having bad luck isn’t bet-
ter than having no luck at all.

A single T-3 line had been installed for both of the homes to share. Jack, Cindy and
Mona kept they jobs with the Agency. If you consider what an analyst does, it amounts
to nothing more than processing information and translating that information into an in-
telligence estimate, e.g., where, when and how the Chinese were going to attack Tai-
wan or whomever they were going to attack. The other questions, e.g., who, what and
why were determined objectively by the facts. Never ask anyone why, it is an open-
ended question and their answer usually won’t be revealing. In the case of China going
to war with Taiwan, the answer should be obvious. If it were Russia, that might be a little
less certain. What is attacking someone and when was whenever it happened.

In order to attack Taiwan, the Chinese needed an excuse, real or imagined. Their ex-
cuse would be announced to the world in advance, if people could just recognize it.
China has already clearly stated that should Taiwan try to claim independence, they
would go to war. The US had clearly told China that if they did, we’d kick their butt. In

166
terms of sheer raw military power, the US is the most powerful military nation in the
world. China might have more troops, but the US has the technology. Enhanced Radia-
tion devices, aka neutron bombs, don’t have to be huge to release a deadly field of ra-
diation. The larger they are, the more physical damage they cause. A 1kt ‘suitcase’
nuke creates a blast area (ground zero) with a radius of about 360-meters. A 5kt nuke
creates a geometrically proportionately larger blast area. If you want to occupy the
country almost immediately after you nuke them with neutron bombs, perhaps you use
the smaller devices as in the 0.3kt W-70 ER’s. If you don’t plan on occupying the coun-
try, you can set the adjustable yield weapons to their highest range.

Thermonuclear War is a matter of when, not if. The US only dropped 2 weapons on Ja-
pan in 1945, but had a total of 6-7 built, depending upon your information source. After
bombing Nagasaki, the US must have suspected that Japan was going to surrender or
why didn’t we continue to drop atomic bombs in 3-day intervals? There was nothing that
the Japanese could have done to stop us. There are 10 countries in the world that pos-
sess or may possess nuclear weapons, assuming that South Africa doesn’t have any in
storage: US – 10,240, Russia – 8,400, China – 390, France – 350, United Kingdom –
200-300, Israel>150 (FAS says 300 – 400), India – 60-90, Pakistan –30-52, North Korea
– 0-18 and Iran-? South Africa was once a nuclear weapons state but has reportedly
destroyed its former arsenal. From a high of 65,000 active weapons in 1985, there were
about 20,000 active nuclear weapons in the world in 2002. Many of the “decommis-
sioned” weapons were simply stored or partially dismantled, not destroyed. Hmm, I
thought Russia had 10k and the US 6k. This is the total, not just the ‘active’ weapons.

Never Say Never Again was the 1983 remake of Thunderball from 1965. I was looking
to see who said, Never say never because… The only movie quote I could find was
Stepmom (1998). It is the title and a part of a lyric of several songs, also the title of sev-
eral books, a poem, numerous articles, etc. Never say that World War III will never hap-
pen, it’s just when, not if. There are ~20,000 nuclear weapons known to be in various
countries arsenals.

Nations known to have initiated serious nuclear weapons programs include: Argentina,
Australia, Belarus, Brazil, Egypt, Germany, Iraq, Japan, Kazakhstan, Libya, Poland,
Romania, South Africa, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan and Yugoslavia.
Other nuclear capable states include: Canada, Lithuania, Netherlands and Saudi Ara-
bia.

When a thermonuclear war occurs, I can practically guarantee you that it will be TE-
OTWAWKI. Whether Carl Sagan and the others were right won’t really matter in the
short-term and in the long-term there are too many variables to allow anyone to make a
meaningful speculation. The only event that can occur that would absolutely guarantee
the elimination of humanity like the elimination of the dinosaurs is a rock popping out
from behind the sun. People will survive the initial onslaught or exchange of weapons. I
rather doubt that there will be many waves of weapons with the attack continuing for
days or weeks. Countries who decide to use their weapons will try to decapitate the
other guy and prevent that. Countries being attacked will probably release their land-

167
based weapons immediately to prevent their destruction by the other guy. It only makes
sense, doesn’t it?

Politically, the nations of the world are too immature not to use their weapons, regard-
less of what James Tiberius Kirk says. If they have them and it appears that the other
guy is attacking… I happen to agree with Jerry’s assessment that there may not be
many MZB’s after an all-out nuclear exchange. There may be some, but they will prob-
ably be local in nature. In a scenario like Light’s Out you don’t have a lot of dead people
and MZB’s are probable. In that case, it might well turn out to be the haves and the
have-nots with the have-nots taking from the haves. If you are prepared, it won’t make
much difference; you’ll be a have and will be prepared to protect what you have. Other-
wise, you’ll be a have-not and will end up taking from others; it is just natural human in-
stinct, e.g., to survive. Whether or not you can protect what you have will depend on a
lot of circumstances. There is safety in numbers of like-thinking people. If you come up
against too many have-nots, they may end up being the haves and you’ll end up being
dead.

Nothing happens in a vacuum, and both the US and Russia were well aware what was
probably going to happen. The US didn’t have the time or resources to develop a Civil
Defense program at this late date and the only thing the government could do was to
warn the people through FEMA that the possibility of nuclear war, however remote, ex-
isted. The population was advised to store 2 weeks’ worth of food and water in a secure
shelter. People in California and Florida were at a severe disadvantage and they were
advised to evacuate. Neither state had many, if any, basements, especially Florida. In
Florida, you called a basement your swimming pool.

If you didn’t have a generator, forget it. If you wanted to store fuel, you’d better already
have barrels or cans and just hope you could find some fuel to buy. People actually be-
came alarmed and tried to stock up on all of the food they could buy, forcing store man-
agers to limit quantities. The people who were prepared simply topped off what they had
and perhaps bought more ammo, just in case.

China ended up attacking Taiwan on August 1, 2008, Army Day. A communist-led na-
tionalist army staged the first armed uprising in Chinese communist history against the
Nationalists on August 1, 1927. It was regarded as the beginning of the Red Army (later
the People’s Liberation Army). Now the anniversary is often used to promote better rela-
tionships between the army and civilians, a tradition believed to have helped it beat the
Nationalists during the civil war in 1949. It was only logical that the attack would occur
on Army Day, they were just carrying out an old family tradition. China had about 600
weapons, not 390. They had to attack not only the US, but Russia as well. North Korea
took care of South Korea for them. Here’s how it all went down:

In the early morning hours, local time, of August 1, 2008, the Chinese Air Force began
bombing and attacking Taiwan with missiles to eliminate their defenses. The Taiwanese

168
responded in kind and called upon the United States to come to their aid. George or-
dered the Threat Level raised to Red and the military to DEFCON-2. He immediately
contacted the Russians and the United States’ allies to explain what was going down.
Much of the US’s Pacific Fleet was already at sea because the DIN had warned him it
was coming. Prior to the call from Taiwan, the US was at Orange and DEFCON-3. They
launched the bombers to protect them, loaded with weapons of course. All ships that
weren’t at sea, sortied, having been put on alert and military ground forces were moved
to shelter.

It doesn’t really matter who used the first nuclear weapon. Once it started, the United
States launched its 50 Peacekeeper missiles and any MIRV’d Minuteman III missiles
still in inventory against China. It was totally unnecessary to launch the 336 Trident II
missiles with their 2,688 warheads or drop any bombs. World War III lasted 80 minutes.
China attacked the United States and Russia. It sent bombers to India; Pakistan took
advantage and launched its missiles against India, which retaliated. The Israelis didn’t
have to use their weapons, except against Egypt and Libya, and then, only a few. No-
body attacked Europe; what a shame, it would have given a whole new meaning to the
term French fry. Russia also attacked China and the missiles that flew had particularly
dirty warheads.

China’s warheads were dirty too. China had used 300 weapons, give or take, on the
United States and 100 on the Russian Federation. Principle American targets were mili-
tary installations and the 100 largest metropolitan areas. These areas, especially in the
west, were still recovering from that attack on Yellowstone and the Long Valley Caldera
back on Independence Day 2005. Obviously, Bruce wouldn’t get to find out if those
eruptions would lead to a warming of the atmosphere and cause an abrupt climate
change. However, would the recovery from the nuclear winter cause a warming of the
atmosphere and cause an abrupt climate change?

Did you ever see the ABC special, The Day After? It was the frightening story of the
weeks leading up to and following a nuclear strike on the United States. The bulk of the
activity centers on the town of Lawrence, Kansas. To quote a viewer of the program:

“I first saw the film as a high school student attending a Department of Defense school
in Germany in the early 1980’s. The film was shown in school and it scared the bejee-
zus out of me and many of my fellow students. We were dealing with Red Army Faction
terrorism, car bombs, bomb threats at school and only a few hundred miles from the
border to East Germany. The concepts were quite accurate: if the eastern bloc came
over the border, then the ONLY NATO response could be to fight a delayed retreat,
blowing up roads and bridges as the US and NATO forces were pushed back and most
of Germany would have fallen to the Eastern Bloc before any offensive action could
have been taken. The scenario leading to the nuclear attacks is quite real and plausible.

“The critics say the film was not graphic enough (they prefer things like Threads) or too
graphic (preferring more subtle films like Testament). There is no need to be totally
graphic and accurate in portraying the events. Yes, we know it would be worse. But the

169
goal is not to gross everyone out. We want younger audiences to see the film too - and
that would never happen with something like Threads. Likewise, a more emotional but
action lacking film would not draw in the audiences. The purpose was to ‘get the point
across’ and I think it did that very successfully - bad acting, flubbed lines, stock footage
and all. It showed enough of the circumstances surrounding the events for those who
had some education in things could recognize issues and say, ‘Yes that’s right’ while
not being overly graphic so that only adults could see it.

“If you want to see an action movie about nuclear war or you want to see a touchy-feely
emotional treatment of the losses due to war – this film is not for you. The purpose of
this film is to show what nuclear war may be like (in a very superficial way) and to re-
mind everyone that it must NEVER happen again. Back in the early 1980’s with the So-
viets under a rotating leadership of old hardliners and the US with Ronny talking smack
– the threat was very real and the reality check this film delivers was needed. It doesn’t
play as well in the year 2002 – but you must remember when a film was made when
you see it.”

Another viewer said:

“If you think this movie’s theme is outdated, think again. The Doomsday Clock has
moved ahead three times since the end of the Cold War. From a press release: ‘Chica-
go, February 27, 2002: Today, the Board of Directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Sci-
entists moves the minute hand of the Doomsday Clock, the symbol of nuclear danger,
from nine to seven minutes to midnight, the same setting at which the clock debuted 55
years ago. Since the end of the Cold War in 1991, this is the third time the hand has
moved forward.’”

“So, it finally happened.”

“It was inevitable Arkady.”

“We’re good here, are you and Bruce covered?”

“We can stay in the shelters for as long as it takes the radiation level to fall to the normal
background level.”

“There aren’t any major targets in Missouri, right?”

“Not since they removed the missiles, no. However, there is Kansas City and we could
get fallout from a long distance away.”

“This sound powered phone is very nice, how did you think of it?”

170
“Your shelters weren’t that far away and I figured that we would end up buttoned up in
our individual shelter complexes. It only made sense to have reliable communications. If
you have a problem or we have a problem, we can contact each other. During the first
couple of weeks there won’t be much we can do to help each other out, but I have no
idea when, or if, the phone service will ever be restored. You did buy radios, right?”

“Yaesu radios, the international models, not the American models.”

“Ours are American.”

“If they’re Japanese, all you have to do is put a hot soldering iron in a particular spot
and melt a fusible link. You will have all of the frequencies then for the full range of the
particular radio’s spectrum, but I don’t know if the band switch will still work.”

“I guess since we’re in the US, we can monitor the US frequencies and Vasily and you
can monitor the international frequencies. Our radios are the Kenwood model TS-2000.”

“They’re Japanese. That’s a good idea. Is two weeks enough or will we have to stay in
the shelter longer?”

“Did you buy the CD V-717 meters, too?”

“We did, yes. They’re properly installed.”

“They’ll probably go off the 500R scale in the beginning, but towards the end of the two
weeks, you’ll be able to tell when to come out. I talked to Bruce and we’ll probably just
stay in our shelters for 100 days. The radiation level is 0.1 in 7 hours, 0.01 in 49 hours,
0.001 in 343 hours and 0.0001 in 2,401 hours.”

“That’s the 7/10 rule right?”

“Right.”

“It was discovered by a Russian scientist, did you know?”

“Is that the guy that invented the phaser, Arkady?”

“Same guy, yes.”

“I thought so.”

I don’t know who figured out radioactive decay – no doubt some physicist. Possibly
even Madame Currie. She was killed by radiation, you know. The public and industrial-
ists were fascinated by the Curies’ discoveries. Radium, inexhaustibly giving out energy

171
(you could see the light, and it gave out heat too), hinted at great mysteries and perhaps
amazing inventions. Moreover, Pierre proved that radium could damage living flesh.
That opened a new way to treat cancer and other ailments. But Marie lost nearly 20
pounds while doing her doctoral research, and Pierre was often exhausted and in pain.
Was it overwork and stress, or was radiation the cause of their frequent illnesses? Marie
refused to believe that radiation was very harmful, but doctors today think otherwise.

In 1903 Mrs. Marie Curie completed her doctoral thesis, becoming the first woman to
receive a doctorate in France. Curie became the first person to win a second Nobel
Prize. She pulled herself together and traveled to Sweden to accept the 1911 Nobel
Prize for Chemistry for her discovery of radium and polonium. In 1934, she was delight-
ed when her daughter Irène and Irène’s husband, Frédéric Joliot-Curie, discovered arti-
ficial radioactivity at the Radium Institute. Curie did not live to see Irène and Frédéric
receive the 1935 Nobel Prize for their discovery. As early as 1920 she had been suffer-
ing from medical problems, probably caused by her many years of exposure to radioac-
tive materials. On July 4, 1934, Marie Curie died of aplastic anemia, a blood disease
that often results from getting too much radiation. She was buried next to Pierre. In
1995 the remains of the pair were transferred to the majestic Pantheon in Paris, where
they now lie alongside France’s greatest citizens. The President of France declared that
the transfer demonstrated the nation’s respect for all those, like the Curies, “who dedi-
cate themselves to science.”

“This is Vasily, our meter says that the radiation level is down to 1R/hr.”

“We have the same level here, Vasily. It would be better to wait to come out of the shel-
ter until the level is much lower,” Bruce suggested.

“We are getting, what do you call it, cabin fever.”

“You could probably go outside long enough to put up your antennas now, but if it were
I, I’d wait. We’re going to stay inside the full 100-days, regardless.”

“We want to check on our houses.”

“They’re fine, I can see them in my closed circuit TV camera. Jack went out earlier for 5
minutes and erected it. We have one of those suits, you know, do you?”

“What suits?”

“The level III biohazard containment suits. Jack got about 0.100mR on his dosimeter
while he was out. But, Jack and I aren’t planning on having any more children. Are
Arkady and you planning on more?”

“Absolutely.”

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“Stay inside.”

“I wonder who won the war?”

“That’s the easy question, Vasily, everyone lost. We killed off the Chinese, or your peo-
ple did and between the two countries, I seriously doubt that China will be giving anyone
trouble for a few hundred years. You Russians are more accustomed to losing people
than we are. What did you lose during WW II, 20 million?”

“Even one is too many, but that time, 20 million, yes.”

“If the NSA is still around and they forward pictures to the Agency, we might be able to
tap into them with our computers. That’s providing we ever get the T-3 link up again, of
course.”

“T-3 is fiber optics, you might.”

“I never found out if our T-3 link was commercial or a hardened military link. Either way,
it’s down at the moment.”

“It’s a hardened military link,” Vasily replied.

“How do you know?”

“We couldn’t tap it.”

“You tried?”

“Of course, we’re spies. What did you expect?”

“I thought you were retired.”

“We are, now…”

“Vasily told me that we have a hardened military T-3 link.”

“How does he know?”

“He says that they tried to tap it.”

“They can tap it; they just can’t decipher the dataflow without that box we have attached
to our router.”

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“He said that they were fully retired now.”

“Maybe I can give him the boxes for their computers, then. Eight heads are better than 4
and the DCI already set them up with user ID’s and passwords, just in case.”

“Jack, the T-3 line is up,” Cindy announced.

“I guess it WAS a hardened military T-3 line,” Bruce smiled.

Everyone stayed in the shelters the full 100 days. Jack, Bruce and their families be-
cause: 1) they were being careful and, 2) they could monitor the 4 houses with the
CCTV. Possibly one might have a lot of damage if one were anywhere near a big city.
But, out in the boonies, everything looked almost normal. Things were far from normal;
it was already winter; a very cold winter, as a matter of fact. Should we dig up Carl Sa-
gan and tell him he was right? RIP Carl Sagan, it remains to be seen just how right you
were. The nuclear exchange came on August 1, 2008. The date was November 9, 2008
and 100 days had passed.

“I have something for you,” Jack told Arkady.

“What is it?”

“A deciphering box and software for your computers so you can access the Agency’s
computer.”

“We have them, we just didn’t know what the setting was,” Arkady laughed out loud.

“Well, I don’t know what the setting is either, so just use our boxes. The DCI already as-
signed user ID’s and passwords for you and Vasily.”

“Trusting isn’t he?”

“Pragmatic.”

“Is the T-3 line up?”

“Yes, it came up the same day Vasily told Bruce that you fellas tried to tap it.”

“I didn’t know…”

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 19 – Nuclear Winter

Why call the chapter Nuclear Winter? Nuclear Winter happens in the summer and it’s
going to be a long time until spring. Why not? The story, is it improbable? Absolutely!
Impossible? Never, say never… If you had asked me on February 25, 1993 whether or
terrorists would be able to bomb the WTC with a Ryder truck filled with explosives, I’d
have told you NO. If you had asked me on April 18th, 1995 whether or not approximate-
ly the same quantity of explosives in a Ryder rental truck detonated outside of the Mur-
rah federal building in Oklahoma City would all but bring it down, I would have said NO.
If you had asked me on September 10, 2001 whether or not crashing an airplane into
the WTC would bring it down, I would have said, NOT LIKELY. If you had asked on the
same date, 9/10/01, whether or not terrorists would crash jet airliners into BOTH WTC
towers and cause BOTH to collapse, I would have told you NO. And, the Pentagon on
top of that? ABSOLUTELY NOT! If you had asked me on July 3, 2005 whether or not
terrorists could explode 5 Russian nukes and cause Yellowstone and the Long Valley
Caldera to erupt, again, I would have admitted they could set off the bombs, but that the
USGS claimed that nuclear weapons couldn’t possibly cause the Calderas to erupt.

It’s just a good thing there’s nothing on TV worth watching. I posted the links to the Pa-
triot Fiction – Collected Works section. Yes, I know the correct name for the section; I’m
senile and crazy, not illiterate. And, I did make the appointment to have my plumbing
checked from the inside out, or was that Up the Down Staircase? What did they mean,
10-years between exams was too long? Hogwash. It’s sort of like having COPD. The
only way they can tell what kind of COPD you have is with an autopsy. I think maybe I’ll
wait to find out until later. They can send me a wire or something and I’ll put down my
shovel to take time to read it. At least I’ll be among friends.

“It isn’t anything like I thought it would be,” Bruce observed.

“What did you expect?”

“I saw a rerun of The Day After; I suppose that’s what I expected. Where is Lawrence,
Kansas anyway?”

“About halfway between Kansas City and Topeka to the west.”

“That can’t be right.”

“What do you mean?”

“In The Day After they showed Minuteman III missiles being launched from between
Kansas City and Lawrence.”

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“It was only a movie. The missile sites were at Forbes AFB near Topeka and they were
Atlas E missiles. Those sites were deactivated in 1965. Now, if you want Minuteman
sites in this region, they had those at Whiteman AFB, here in Missouri. They had Min-
uteman I and II’s. The Missile Wing was officially deactivated in July 1995.”

“So that’s why there aren’t many targets in Missouri.”

“Right, only Whiteman AFB, where they had the B-2 bombers. When those were shifted
to Guam, Diego Garcia, the United Kingdom and Arabia, there were no real targets of
merit in Missouri, except for Kansas City and St. Louis.”

“Where did the fallout come from?”

“Some of it may be from Kansas City. Some of it could be from Whiteman, but I doubt it.
I’d guess the remainder came from F. E. Warren AFB in Wyoming. That was a big Min-
uteman III site and if I recall the radiation drift patterns that I saw at Radmeters4U, we
would get some of that radiation here in Missouri.”

“Why did the DCI give Arkady and Vasily access to the CIA mainframe?”

“It was only provisional, Bruce. They didn’t really have access until they had a decryp-
tion box with the proper codes plus a user ID and password. Sorry that I forgot to men-
tion it earlier. What secrets are there to keep and why would we want to keep them?
The Cold War is over; World War III is over; and, there can’t be many terrorists left to
attack this country. What would be the point anyway? They took their best shot with Yel-
lowstone and Long Valley and the country survived. Who would want to come to the US
after we’ve been attacked by the Chinese?”

“What about Russia?”

“The Chinese attacked them too; they probably won’t be going anywhere. If they do, my
money would be on the Mediterranean and Europe because they can walk or drive
there.”

“I’ve decided to add another section to my book.”

“Now what?”

“We had the escape from Yellowstone, the unusual winters that followed and just when
it was starting to get better, WW III. I’m going to include a section about WW III and the
Nuclear Winter that it will create. I’ll make the question about an abrupt climate change
the fourth section of the book.”

“Did it ever occur to you that people who have lived through all of these events aren’t
going to want to read about it? Who is around to publish books?”

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“Then I’ll print it out and leave a copy for the crew of the Enterprise when they do a time
warp and show up in our Century.”

“You do that; it will keep you out from under foot.”

They had a turkey in the freezer and come Thanksgiving, the four couples had a lot to
be thankful for. They were alive, which was more than could be said for a lot of people.
They had their health, so far, and their dosimeters barely registered confirming the ben-
efit of staying in the shelter for 100-days. They were in the central United States, not in
the northern United States or in Russia. Cold weather would probably negatively affect
the bass fishing but they had a lake with fish in it and enough food to see them though
at least a full year, maybe more. Finally, with access to the CIA mainframe, they could
hopefully keep abreast of developments around the country, assuming the CIA was
even around. Check that, the mainframe was up so someone was running it.

Add to that, a well and a septic system plus the means to generate electricity for a rea-
sonable period of time and the means and wherewithal to secure more fuel, some-
where. While they had been in the shelters for the 100-days, they’d discovered advance
preparations the Agency had made that they had never considered. There were enough
solar panels to power up to 6 shelters at nearly full power, inverters and dozens of gel
cell storage units (batteries). There was enough to share with Arkady and Vasily and
possibly 2 more families. Behind the solar panels and other electrical equipment were
additional weapons, ammunition and a large supply of hand tools and power equipment
(rototiller, etc.) they would need to plant and maintain a garden.

Did you know that there are over 400 varieties of heirloom tomatoes alone? They had a
list of the heirloom seeds and the ones they had in stock were check marked on the list.
These seeds were specifically selected for the central US during a Nuclear Winter plus
a second group for when the winter ended. Obviously someone had done a lot of plan-
ning to prepare these particular two shelters for long-term survival. And, whoever had
done it hadn’t been aware of what they had in their personal inventory of survival sup-
plies, meaning that there was nearly enough food for two years, not one, counting their
personal supplies. Maybe they should be listening at the door for the DCI to show up,
huh?

Note to readers: The concept of government caches which follows was adapted from
After the Fall which may be found in Patriot Fiction – Collected Works and was written
by TM456. You will have to go 3 pages deep to find the story. I borrowed only the con-
cept, and none of his story. I can’t borrow from the story because that would be stealing
and I do not have permission to use it. Hopefully if using a similar idea is a problem,
someone will call me on it, quickly. I have endeavored to give credit where credit is due.

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These caches will be simply that, dead drops of carefully preserved supplies and possi-
bly some equipment. You can’t patent an idea, can it be copyrighted?

Contrary to popular belief, there are several locations around the United States where
members of the central government can hole up. It wouldn’t do for the President to be
forced to travel from California to Mt. Weather simply to seek shelter. Although the US
had ample warning in this instance, the government couldn’t always count on that. In
addition to the alternate shelters, there were also caches of supplies at strategic loca-
tions around the country. These caches included equipment, supplies, weapons, and
things that, if recovered, would be a gold mine. In the safes in both Jack and Bruce’s
shelter were sealed packages with instructions that it was to be opened only in case of
a thermonuclear war.

“Are we ready to open the packages, Bruce? Our Russian friends are here, according to
the instructions on the outside of the envelopes. The instructions said to include every-
one in our party.”

“Is there anything that I need to be aware of or can I just rip the package open?”

“Not that I know of; but, it might be wise to wear latex gloves, just in case there is an an-
ti-tamper feature that isn’t apparent.”

“Here’s goes nothing. Huh, it’s a stack of maps and a small booklet of instructions.”

“What’s on the maps?”

“Each map has a location marked on it. It is the only mark on the map.”

“Then I conclude that there must be instructions in the booklets explaining the locations
marked on the maps.”

“Hmm, it appears to be lists of supplies.”

“Are there instructions on how to find the exact locations?”

“No, there aren’t. What there is, are a user ID and password. Maybe if we use that user
ID and the password to access the mainframe, we can find out more.”

“The Russian government and the KGB once had caches that were established when
they began building Civil Defense shelters. Maybe this is something on that order,”
Arkady suggested.

“Well, leave it to the Agency to discover any caches our government might have had
and their locations. We had some hackers on the payroll; maybe they cracked the

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codes needed to enter those locations. If they didn’t, I rather doubt the information will
be of much use. On the other hand, why put the information in these safes if they didn’t
have all of the information we would need to recover the supplies or whatever is at
those locations. Can you tell where the locations are from the maps?”

“No, the scale of the map is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They’re topo maps and the
detail is far too fine. Without the information on whatever computer it’s on, they won’t do
us a bit of good.”

“Are there any markings on the maps beside the marked location?”

“Only a number.”

“Go back to the booklet, what kind of supplies?”

“Food, weapons, munitions, medical supplies, fuel and some apparently obsolete
equipment. What is an M151?”

“An M151 is a Jeep,” Vasily answered. “Your government replaced them with the
HMWWV. I thought that they were all destroyed or sold as salvage. The rear suspen-
sion system on M151 vehicles was designed for rough terrain usage by stabilizing the
stock and military personnel operating the M151 had to be given special training in use
of the vehicle. On paved roads, where the general public would normally use a vehicle,
the vehicles were readily subject to rollover accidents. The Administrator, National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration, of your federal DOT, identified the M151 vehicles
as a hazard to the safety of public highway users.”

“Shall we use the user ID and the password to access the mainframe?” Jack asked.

“This information won’t do us any good unless we do, Jack. The locations could be an-
ywhere.”

“What was it you said? Here’s goes nothing…”

Accessing the mainframe and entering the user ID provided brought up a password
screen. Entering the password from the booklet caused the computer to display a ‘Wait’
screen. Eventually, another screen came up and asked for the range of map numbers
and had two fields, one for the lowest map number and another for the highest map
number. Once entered, the computer screen displayed a list of hyperlinks, one for each
of the map numbers. Jack clicked on the top hyperlink and we presented with a screen
that told where the location was, followed by the list of supplies at that location. He
clicked on the printer function on the screen and it activated his LaserJet and printed the
location information and the list.

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When they had completed the task, they opened the second package, the one from
Jack’s safe. It had an entirely different set of maps, different user ID and different pass-
word. Jack repeated the entire process and printed off a second set of location infor-
mation and supplies lists. By the time they were done, they had 50 different locations,
ranging from Ohio to Colorado and from Minnesota to Texas. They next sat down to
read the lists in detail. Each location was accessible without passwords or computer
codes. The point of access for each cache was on the fine detail topo map and a graph-
ic on the printout from the mainframe showed where the topo map referred. The en-
trances were buried about 18” deep in the ground.

At the moment they didn’t need any supplies and the Indian must have been standing
on their roof, the snow was extremely deep. The Russians had used skis to get there.
They would need to wait until spring to check out one of those locations. The nearest
one was near Whiteman AFB. They had communications with the mainframe, but no
phone or utilities. Looking at an atlas, it appeared to them that they were somewhere
between 90 and 100 miles from Whiteman, which was northwest of their location in
Osage Beach. They would need to take US 54 to state 52 to state 5 to US 50 and then
west to Whiteman. The cache wasn’t on the base, but nearby; a fact that made access-
ing it far easier than entering a US military installation.

I reported that the US military was prepared for the strike and planes were in the air,
ships at sea and the ground forces under cover. The country’s military survived primarily
intact. They hadn’t waited 100 days, but were on the road assessing the damage and
doing what they could to help survivors after 2 weeks, starting out MOPP’d at level 4.
The Chinese hadn’t hit Pearl Harbor or Bangor. Maybe they didn’t have enough missiles
to go around. Most aircraft ended up in the western US on one dry lakebed or another.
Not that anyone cared, but the unfired Minuteman III missiles were intact. The US and
Russia probably had enough missiles and warheads left for WW IV through WW VI, Al-
bert Einstein had been wrong.

You could scratch China, North Korea, India and Pakistan from the nuclear club. In fact,
you could scratch those 4 countries, period. In the Middle East, Lebanon, Israel, Jordon
and some of those little Emirates were all that remained south of Turkey. Europe hadn’t
been hit and except for Egypt and Libya, the same could be said for Africa. Russia had
been hurt, but not a lot worse than Operation Barbarossa, Hitler’s attack on the USSR in
the summer of 1941. Australia rounded up all the suspected Chinese spies and put
them in a camp in the Outback. They were told that it was for their own protection. In
retrospect, the world had gone mad for 80 minutes and the survivors came out of the
affair just plain mad. What could the military say? “Don’t blame me, I only work here?”

For the 4 couples and their children in Missouri, the focus was much narrower. Of pri-
mary importance was surviving the winter. Their vehicles were useless until the snow
melted; there was no one clearing roads. Jack considered the solar panels to be of
marginal importance because until the snowfall let up, sometime in the future, keeping

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them clear during the winter would be a Herculean task. At least the panels explained
those strange brackets on the roofs of their homes and why the garages had been built
on an east-west line and had brackets too.

Just to remind you, one of the much-overlooked aspects of a severe cooling cycle, re-
gardless of the cause, is a drought. The reduced temperatures prevent evaporation of
moisture thus reducing the amount of moisture in the air that is available to fall as rain
and snow. After Mother Nature dumps the available moisture in the winter immediately
following a disaster like the super volcanoes or WW III, subsequent years will be very
dry and cold. As the atmosphere begins to clear of ash and smoke, the temperatures
will slowly rise. Precipitation will also increase, but first Mother Nature has to replenish
the atmospheric aquifers. There will always be a lag of a year or two. And, that doesn’t
consider the effects of El Nino or La Nina.

Survivors in the northern regions will be forced to move south where the temperature is
warmer and there is more moisture for growing food. The relative humidity will be much
lower until nature is back in balance. People will no doubt plant large gardens, provided
they can get the seed and find available land to use. Note that I said that the seeds in
the shelters were in two groups, the nuclear winter group and the post nuclear winter
group. They would turn out to be well selected; the eruptions of the super volcanoes
had allowed the Agency to adjust their seed selection to a more correct assessment of
the conditions that might prevail. Out of bad, came good.

“How are things over at your homes?”

“Fine, thank you. Cold. Tanya and Sasha are expecting babies. This is much more like
home this year.”

“It won’t last Arkady; next year will be very cold and very dry.”

“How are your families?”

“Cabin fever. The kids want to go out and play in the snow but we don’t have sleds.”

“I can loan you a toboggan.”

“You’ll have to bring it over; there aren’t any snowshoes or skis in our shelters.”

“You want to borrow skis or snowshoes? We have both.”

“You can take the Russians out of Russia, but you can’t take Russia out of the Rus-
sians?”

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“If I understand, that is correct.” Translation: A wetback is a wetback no matter where
they live. What red neck? The Russians are far more racially prejudiced than Ameri-
cans; they didn’t have Martin Luther King. They export their Jews and you won’t find a
lot of black folks in Russia, most of their slaves were white.

“I’ve seen worse winters in Moscow.”

“Vasily, this is the northern Ozarks; this amount of snow is very unusual. How do you
work a toboggan?”

“Set the children on it and pull the rope.”

“Very simple.”

“It was invented by a Russian.”

“What wasn’t invented by a Russian?”

“The atom bomb. We stole that from you.”

“Bad choice of something to steal.”

“It’s too late now, Jack.”

“So are you teaching your children Russian?”

“As a second language, only. We teach them proper American English as their primary
language.” Oxymoron?

“Have you seen many people out?”

“Some. They reacted badly to our accents. I tried to tell them that it was the Chinese
and that both the United States and Russia attacked China. We gave some people a
little food to tide them over.”

“Trying to make new friends?”

“It beats having them try to take what we have. Mob mentality is the same all over the
world.”

“What did you give them?”

“Standard American fare: beans, rice, flour, cornmeal and potatoes.”

“When your potatoes start spouting, cut out the eyes with some meat and save them.
You can use them to start potatoes in the spring.”

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°

Learning a foreign language isn’t easy, but not impossible. The real problem in learning
a foreign language is the idioms. For an example of what I’m saying, watch Russia
House (1990) and observe Michelle Pfeiffer explaining a Russian word that sounds like
possibla to Sean Connery. American English is especially difficult because it is more
idiomatic than English English. In order to teach its spies idiomatic American English,
the Russians needed something like Mrs. Ivanova’s Charm School. Maybe the sex was
a bonus.

Mother Nature exhausted the moisture in the air, halting the snowfall, but not the cold.
The cold and a lack of fuel snuffed the fires, allowing the air to begin to clear. The next
question would be: would the ensuing drought dry the forests out and contribute to the
effect when the forests burned? I’m not certain, but I expect Carl Sagan would have
said yes. Almost all of the nuclear exchange was in the Northern Hemisphere. Nature
knew nothing of Supervolcanoes or nuclear exchanges; all she could do was react.
That, no doubt, was what Sagan and others had been counting on. Forest fires aren’t all
caused by arson; some occur quite naturally. You have heard of lightning, right?

March 2009 came in like a lion and left like a lion. It just didn’t deposit a lot of snow.
What they had instead was extreme cold and high winds. Everyone ran out of firewood
for their fireplace inserts. While they had hand tools, including chainsaws, there wasn’t a
lot they could do except cut down the trees around their homes. It wasn’t as if there
wasn’t plenty of wood available in the area and they did have more than enough pro-
pane to fire their gas-powered furnaces. The Agency hadn’t bothered with a natural gas
hookup; they had put in a very large, underground propane tank instead. Arkady and
Vasily had propane too, albeit smaller, 3,000-gallon tanks.

“Do you have any firewood left?”

“All gone, we’re running on propane.”

“We could cut down the tress.”

“We’ll need them for shade when summer gets here, assuming it ever does.”

“Will we be able to get propane to refill our tanks?”

“You have guns, right?”

“Yes.”

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“We can get propane. If they won’t sell it to us for gold and silver, we have the means at
our disposal to take it. Do you have enough to see you through?”

“It will depend on when we can shut off the furnaces, but probably yes.”

“I can give you solar panels, inverters and batteries. I’m not about to go on the roof to
help you install them, however. I also have the brackets to mount them on your roofs
and roof tar to seal where you put in the lag bolts.”

“It’s too windy to go on the roofs, Jack. Thank you, but we’ll wait.”

“The snow may well last until June, are you certain?”

“June would be ok. July would be a problem.”

“There wasn’t any propane on those lists of supplies at the caches, you know.”

“I think the propane supplier is from Camden. It shouldn’t be a problem. So Bruce and
you have gold and silver too?”

“We have a fairly good supply, yes; what about you?”

“We each had 12 Krugerrands so we each have 24 coins per family. It was part of our E
& E stuff. We bought some old silver coins while the market was down. Russians can be
capitalists, too, you know.”

“I should say so. You have the most powerful Mafia in the entire world.”

“It’s the Jews, Jack. Russia should have exported the whole bunch a long time ago.”

“Instead you wouldn’t let them out, right?”

“Right, they were convenient labor.”

“They will end up owning Russia, you know.”

“The Jews will probably end up owning the world. It is in their nature. Shakespeare
wrote about it in The Merchant of Venice. Each to their own, I guess.”

“Dang good soldiers.”

“Their cause is righteous.”

“They believe that God gave them the world.”

“I thought it was just Palestine.”

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part I – Chapter 20 – Late Spring Shopping

The wind died off a little in May and the weather began to warm. The roads cleared
sooner than the fields, probably because of the asphalt. Towards the end of May, Jack
and Bruce plus Arkady and Vasily hooked trailers to Jack and Bruce’s pickups and they
headed to Whiteman AFB, or more specifically, the outskirts of Whiteman AFB. They
didn’t actually get close enough to the AFB to see it. If they had, they would have seen
that Whiteman had taken a single Chinese missile, destroying the runway.

“I think this is the location, Jack,” Bruce radioed over channel 23 on the CB radio.

“Park your pickup and we’ll get out and look.”

“10-4.”

“I brought a shovel, there’s a lot of snow on the ground.”

“It should be about right over here, Jack. Do you see these numbers on the edge of the
map? I think that those might be GPS coordinates.”

“I’ll get my GPS receiver out of the pickup. It’s a good thing that I thought to bring it.”

“I brought mine. But, until we got here, I wasn’t certain what the numbers meant.”

“I read off the reading from my receiver and you tell me when to stop when I get to the
right place, ok?”

“Ok. Start walking straight ahead and stop in say, 5’.”

“The first coordinates are:” and Jack responded with a set of numbers.

“Move an additional 5’ in the same direction and stop again.”

It took about 10 minutes for the reading on Jack’s military issue GPS receiver (AN/PSN-
11 EPLGR) to exactly match the reading on the map’s edge. When Bruce finally told
Jack that the readings matched, Jack grinned and said, “I don’t see any ‘X’.”

“Maybe it’s under the snow. You shovel off the snow and I’ll go get a spade.”

The clank of the spade hitting metal was almost like music. The ground was still hard
and it took some digging to enlarge the hole enough for them to be able to access the
manhole cover. I didn’t say that every cache had M151 Jeeps. Any cache that did would
have some sort of access to get the vehicles to the surface, it only stands to reason.
Unless you know of some way to shrink a Jeep, I can shrink one, but I can’t unshrink it
once it’s out of the hole. The manhole had a ladder and led down to what gave every
appearance of being a Quonset hut. Inside, they found 9mm, 5.56×45mm, 7.62×51mm,

185
and .50 caliber linked ammo. There was a single M2HB machine gun complete with tri-
pod, 2 M240B machine guns with tripods and optional shoulder straps, 4 M249 SAW’s,
2 M224 60mm LWCMS mortars, plus M16A3/M203 rifles and M9 pistols. There were
also M67 hand grenades, rounds for the mortars and 40mm grenades for the M203’s on
the M16A3/M203. It was obviously a military cache, it had late-date: MRE’s, Tray Packs
and the Humanitarian Daily Rations (HDR).

There was also an assortment of other combat equipment including the EPLGR’s, night
vision equipment and so forth. They would need to make several trips or bring a semi
tractor-trailer rig to haul away all of the matériel in the Quonset hut. They decided that
several trips would be more prudent than bringing in a tractor-trailer. On this trip, they
got the weapons and all of the ammunition they could carry. On the next trip back, they
intended to get the HDR’s and distribute them to the people in the Osage Beach area.
Did someone say music? I’ll teach you to say music. Remember this one:

ARTIST: Zager and Evans

TITLE: In the Year 2525

In the year 2525

If man is still alive.
If woman can survive, they may find.

In the year 3535

Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies.
Everything you think, do and say, is in the pill you took today.

In the year 4545

Ain’t gonna need your teeth, won’t need your eyes.
You won’t find a thing to chew.
Nobody’s gonna look at you.

In the year 5555

Your arms hanging limp at your sides.
Your legs got nothing to do.
Some machine doing that for you.

In the year 6565

Ain’t gonna need no husband, won’t need no wife.
You’ll pick your son, pick your daughter too.
From the bottom of a long glass tube. Whoa-oh

In the year 7510

If God’s a-comin, he oughta make it by then.
Maybe he’ll look around himself and say.
Guess it’s time for the judgment day.

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In the year 8510
God is gonna shake his mighty head.
He’ll either say. I’m pleased where man has been.
Or tear it down and start again. Whoa-oh

In the year 9595

I’m kinda wonderin if man is gonna be alive.
He’s taken everything this old Earth can give.
And he ain’t put back nothing. Whoa-oh

Now it’s been ten thousand years

Man has cried a billion tears.
For what he never knew,
now man’s reign is through.

But through eternal night.

The twinkling of starlight.
So very far away.
Maybe it’s only yesterday.

In the year 2525

If man is still alive.
If woman can survive, they may find.

In the year 3535 {fade}

The guys who did the song were probably more right than they ever imagined.

The fellas just wanted to make it to 2010. In the light of Yellowstone, Long Valley and
WW III, I can’t really say that I blame them. 2010 would be good and 2011 even better,
possibly a vintage year. Never, ever lose your sense of humor. When all else fails and
you have nothing left, it may be the only thing that gets you through the day. Laughter is
the best medicine for what ails you. The Ma Deuce is in second place. It was nice to find
a military cache with all of those weapons, ammo and food. Now, all that was left was to
get it back to Osage Beach. After the pickup and trailers were full, they replaced the
manhole cover and filled the hole in with snow. Then they used a broom to smooth the
snow to where they had parked the pickups and trailers. With luck, the wind would blow
away any evidence of their presence.

Because the Russian’s didn’t have pickups, they were limited to how much they could
get in a single trip. They didn’t want to disclose the location or existence of the caches
to anyone else for fear that the caches would be raided and the matériel contained
therein used against them. Imagine trying to empty out a Quonset hut, regardless of the
size, with 2 pickups and 2 trailers. It took them to the end of June. It would have taken

187
longer had not they distributed the HDR’s. The HDR’s really were the Meals Refused by
Ethiopians. They were a universal ration for people of any faith or any persuasion. Since
the meals were designed as a complete day’s supply of food, a minimum of two entrees
was provided in each meal bag. Complementary components were also included to
provide the balance of the daily nutritional requirements that call for not less than 2200
calories, broken down as 10-13% protein, 27-30% fat, and not less than 60% carbohy-
drates. A spoon and a non-alcohol based moist towelettes were the only non-food com-
ponents in the meal bag. Did I mention that they were vegetarian?

Most of the rations in the hut were the HDR’s. They took the Tray Packs for use by folks
in Osage Beach with large families and the community as a whole. On the subject of
MRE’s, I’ve eaten plenty of them, strictly by choice. Fellas like my friend FT like to make
fun of them. Fine, when TSHTF, don’t come looking for a handout. Properly stored, like
perhaps in the basement that I don’t have under my backyard patio, at an ambient tem-
perature of 56° they will keep for 7 years or so and taste just as good/bad as they did
when they were manufactured. Heat is the worst enemy of the MRE.

With the cache completely empty, it was time to get to know their neighbors a little bet-
ter. Starting out to getting to know them by distributing food wasn’t a half bad start. It
gave them a chance to get to know the people and a little of their backgrounds. This
was important because they didn’t really need many weapons from the military cache.
They already had a fair number of their own and there had been more in their shelters,
principally M14 semi-auto only rifles with ball and sporting ammo. The weapons in the
shelters were used but well cared for. They were packed in Cosmoline so they must
have come through a depot. Cosmoline is only used to pack weapons for long-term
storage and is almost always applied at depots after they refurbish a weapon and pre-
pare it for storage. By contrast, new weapons come from the manufacturer lightly oiled.
Translation: Cosmoline = used.

They had plowed up all of the available land on their large lots for gardens. Over the
course of the summer, they needed to: raise and harvest food; refill the propane tanks;
and, harvest and split firewood. Providing heirloom seeds to people who needed them
was very selfish of them. The people could grow their own food and produce their own
seed for future use. The potato eyes grew just fine; it was only a potato, not rocket sci-
ence. Their shelters contained canning jars, lids and pressure cookers, allowing them to
preserve food for the following winter. There were Wal-Mart stores in the area including
one in Osage Beach, plus others in Eldon, Versailles, Camdenton, Lebanon, Waynes-
ville, Buffalo, St. Robert, Warsaw and Jefferson City. They got more jars, lids and cloth-
ing. The only other things they needed were perhaps additional coffee and things they
couldn’t grow themselves (toilet paper, feminine supplies). They didn’t really need much
else.

Some people in Osage Beach came to see the four families as friends and benefactors.
Others apparently thought that they were the Salvation Army, coming with handouts.

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They weren’t the latter and only unintentionally the former. There is safety in numbers
and once they got to know who was who, they distributed the military weapons to peo-
ple who would work together to protect Osage Beach and the surrounding area.

Osage Beach had a population close to 4,000. The median age was about 44 and the
population was 97%+ white. There were approximately 1,700 occupied housing units in
the town. As a whole, the population of Camden Country was about 40,000, as of the
2000 census. That might be the latest information we ever have, you know. One of the
local residents offered to harvest deadfall timber, split it, deliver and stack it. What he
wanted in exchange was a chainsaw, oil, spare parts and gasoline. Jack and Bruce lent
him two chain saws and told him that they needed wood for 4 homes. The gas was on
them and if they could continue the arrangement, they would continue to provide gas
and oil. They had started the previous winter with about 2-3 cords of wood. They told
him they needed 5 cords per family and a deal was made, the first of many.

Sometimes Arkady and Vasily got things wrong as did Jack and Bruce. They were in
Camden County and the nearest propane dealers were in Camdenton, not Camden,
and Kaiser. You may recall Arkady saying, “I think the propane supplier is from Cam-
den. It shouldn’t be a problem. So Bruce and you have gold and silver too?” Or, possi-
bly, Arkady just misspoke himself and didn’t mean to say, “Don’t include so much filler.”
(Hee-hee-hee, a dying – not dead – issue.) That’s who told me that you know, a Rus-
sian Spy – 005¾.

It wasn’t a problem getting propane, as long as they had gold and were willing to pay
double the price before the balloon went up. They got the tanks refilled and installed the
solar panels, sharply dropping their propane usage. They serviced everything and got it
ready to run the next time. The generators, 30kw units, had self-exercisers on comput-
erized timers, set to run the units for 30 minutes, once per month. The Agency went first
class, excluding airplanes, except when their cover required it. The good old days… Tax
auditors always went 4th class, parcel post book rate.

There were enough solar panels, gel cells, inverters, brackets and etc. to provide
Arkady and Vasily with full sets and still give almost a full double set to the community
of Osage Beach. They kept 4 spare panels in case they had a problem. Each of the 4
families had 10,400-amp hours of storage cells, e.g. 52 200-amp hour gel cells. The in-
verters were 12-volt inverters.

Set down your coffee and swallow, just in case…

Who didn’t like Agent 99? She’s single you know, born in 1932. Anne Bancroft, Mel
Brook’s wife died. She was the lady senator in G. I. Jane, a despicable role. I don’t mind
Bush’s forgiving Africa’s debt – so long as we don’t lend them any more money. But part
of the deal is giving them 8 billion a year more. Have you read Don Quixote de
Palmdale? It’s a riot; it also violates the Geneva Convention and I’m calling Amnesty

189
International to complain, again. When I complained about the prisoners at Gitmo and
Abu Grabass getting a free ride, they ignored me. I thought those religious books of
theirs were Sears catalogs and this was the outhouse, silly me. According to an ABC
poll, Bush’s ratings are at an all-time low and the Democrats don’t do much better.
Screw it, bring the troops home and let the ragheads have their civil war. They’re going
to have anyway, whenever we leave; let’s just get it over. The Jackson jury is in its Nth
day of deliberations and they haven’t asked the judge to clarify anything or for additional
information. They’re most likely hung. There is a downside to being a fatalistic cynic.

Having two pregnant women on their hands didn’t make it any easier for Vasily and
Arkady; they had to weed the garden, harvest the veggies and try to can. After a couple
of disasters, Cindy and Mona pitched in to help out, what are friends for? Jack tried to
explain to Arkady that barefoot in the winter and pregnant in the summer was only an
expression, not an American custom. Arkady explained to Jack that the expression was
invented by a Russian and it certainly worked well in Russia.

The man who was getting their firewood for use of the chainsaw, gas and oil told them if
they would let him keep the chainsaws, he would see to it that they never ran out of
firewood again. Of course, that included the gas and oil. They didn’t tell him that there
were two more chainsaws in the shelter storeroom. As far as Osage Beach went, it was
a tight little community. Many of the residents were transplants from further north that
had retired and moved to the area to enjoy the fishing. Moreover, many were veterans
of one American conflict or another. The older guys knew the Garand rifle, some middle
aged men were familiar with the M14 and the younger people knew the M16. They
didn’t have any Garand rifles but an M14 is nothing more than a modification to the
basic design by John Garand anyway.

Here is a brief history of the development of the M14 from the M1:

The experience gained by US troops during the Second World War showed that the M1
Garand rifle has a lot of things to be improved. The first was the feeding system with 8-
round en-bloc clips that does not allowed the refilling of the partially full magazine. Oth-
ers were excessive length and weight of the rifle. The cartridge used in M1 Garand and
known as .30-06 (7.62x63mm) was too long and too heavy, effectively limiting the load
of ammunition carried by each soldier. First attempts to improve M1 were made during
the war, and numerous experimental modifications in .30-06 were built, mostly using the
20-round detachable magazines from Browning BAR M1918 automatic rifle.

One of such prototypes was the T20 (T means test) of 1944. T20 was basically the M1
Garand rifle fitted with 20-round BAR magazine and with selective fire capability. This
prototype latter evolved into the T37 rifle, which had gas cylinder moved back a little
and was chambered for newest American prototype cartridge - T65. The T65 was no

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more than a .30-06 case, shortened by ½ inch (12 mm), but retaining the original ballis-
tic properties due to the modern propellants used. It was slightly lighter and cheaper to
make than .30-06, and had long effective range and good potential for accuracy, both
desired by US Army. The idea of truly intermediate round was not acceptable to the US
Military at that period.

In the early 1950s T37 evolved into the T44 experimental rifle, which featured rede-
signed, self-regulated gas system with short stroke gas piston. Further development
and tests lead to the slightly modified T44E4 and T44E5 (heavy barreled squad auto-
matic weapon) prototypes, which were finally adopted by US Army as M14 and M15 ri-
fles in the 1957. The M15, a heavy barreled weapon, however, was never brought into
production. It must be noted that T44E4 was extensively tested against the only other
entree in the US trials, the T48 rifle (Belgian FN FAL rifle made under license in USA by
H&R Inc.). Both rifles passed the trials with equally high results, but US finally settled on
the T44 because it was slightly lighter, similar to M1 Garand in manufacturing and oper-
ation, and, above all, a Native American design. Right, Garand was a Lakota…

They only made one major error in the design of the M14 rifle, IMHO. The Italians had
designed a tri-comp for their modified box magazine Garand rifle (BM-59) and this de-
vice was never mated to the M14 rifle. The M14 rifle wasn’t much lighter than the M1
rifle and neither was the 7.62×51mm ammo. This eventually led to the adoption of the
selective fire AR15 rifle after the making the weapon more rugged. However, in an
economy move, the military selected the wrong powder, failed to chrome the barrel and
eliminated the forward assist. Still, of all the rifles used by the US military, the M16 rifle
had the longest service record.

Then, if that weren’t bad enough, the military adopted the Beretta 9mm 92FS model pis-
tol, as its standard issue pistols. I like the M1 Garand, but I like the M14 better as a
semi-auto weapon. Equipped with one of those Italian tri-comps, the M15 (SAW) would
have performed better too, both as selective fire weapons. I have long claimed that the
military is going to improve the infantry soldier right out of existence. I am only one of
over 300 million people and while many may agree me, nobody listens to any of us.

Now they want a made by Mattel lightweight weapon with a short barrel and collapsible
stock, the M4 carbine. The shorter the barrel, the lower the velocity of any round. The
M4 is a POS. Marksmanship has been replaced by spray and pray and only the USMC
makes any effort to try and make their troops real marksman. One of these days the US
is going to be very sorry they’ve gone to the 5.56×45mm rifles and 9×19mm P pistols;
again IMHO. From the looks of many modern soldiers, most could handle the old
M1918 BAR and carry lots of ammo. The new soldiers seem to be big and buff. Even an
FN FAL would be preferable to the M16. The rule seemed to be that if it worked, it was
obsolete. The M14 worked fine in semi auto and it was only missing a single part to
work well in full auto. It was still too heavy to lug around a jungle we didn’t belong in.
Sharon’s brother Johnny, the jarhead, did 3 tours. “Who’s on first?”

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Bruce was taking notes for section 3 of his book. The temperature didn’t come any-
where near the average summer temperature for Osage Beach, according to long-time
residents. It wasn’t nearly as humid as normal, either. Bruce was speculating a long,
cold, windy, dry winter. Occasionally even reporters get something right. Wait, being a
reporter was only Bruce’s day job, wasn’t it? It seemed that the 8 spies were all retired
anyway. And none of the papers were publishing, not in 2009. Maybe by the time the
book was done, there would be book publishers and someone willing to publish it. Being
1 part adventure story and 3 parts unscientific study, it might not sell well. Not unless he
spiced it up a little and added in the spy part. People like spy stories; Tom Clancy was a
millionaire. He didn’t know the correct designation for the MP5/10, but who cared? The
weapon worked very well regardless of what it was called.

Speaking of which… The H&K USP Tactical was available in 9mm, .40S&W and
.45ACP. Why didn’t they make it in a full sized 10mm? Then, a fella could be a modern
cowboy and only carry one size of ammo. You could do it now, but only in 9mm, a .38
short. That was worth a few pages and Bruce raised the question in part 5 of his book,
the spy part. The book began to take on a life of its own, but like Jack had said, it kept
Bruce out from underfoot.

“If we only hit one of those supply caches every year, we’ll have enough supplies to last
us the rest of our lives,” Jack pointed out. “Besides, what would we need with many
more weapons? There hasn’t been much trouble since the balloon went up. Maybe a
little looting, but one would expect that.”

“It hasn’t been long enough for things to really go to hell,” Arkady pointed out. “Last win-
ter people couldn’t move about. If Bruce is right and this winter is dry, that could all
change.”

“Well then, any suggestions?”

“Does the inventory of any of those caches show any heavier firepower?”

“None of them have tanks or artillery, no. There is one over in Kansas near Topeka that
has more heavy machine guns including Mk 19’s. It would appear that it is in an aban-
doned missile silo.”

“The Mk-19, is the Kalashnikov based grenade launcher right?” Vasily asked.

“Invented by a Russian? Not hardly, but it is a grenade launching machine gun, yes.”

“That’s one kick ass gun,” Bruce smirked. “According to this list, there are also 6 of the
60kw, diesel powered, trailer mounted auxiliary generators, the TQG’s.” (The Tactical

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Quiet Generators – TQGs – are the latest generation of military generators for use by
the Armed Forces.)

“Osage Beach could use those; it would give them over ⅓ mw of power.”

“Let’s take some of the townspeople and the available semi tractor-trailers and clean the
place out in a single trip.”

“Good idea. You’re the diplomat Bruce, go have a talk with the Mayor.”

The Topeka cache contained 4 Mk 19 machine guns, 2 M2HB’s, 4 M240B’s, 8 M249’s,

2 M224’s, 8 not 6 (typo?) of the 60kw TQG’s, MRE’s, Tray Packs, HDR’s and M16A2’s
without the M203’s and lots of ammo for everything. The weapons were all packed in
Cosmoline and there were pails of Cosmoline remover. It also contained stabilized fuel
in the missile fuel tank, lots of JP-8. Beginning in the late 20th and into the 21st Century,
the US military began using JP-8 in most of its multi-fuel vehicles. That just sounds like
a smart move to me, it must have been thought up by a civilian. As I said, if it worked, it
was probably obsolete.

They got the silo doors open by pushing a button labeled, “Open Silo Doors”. That
started the permanent standby generator and what, a hydraulic pump or something?
Don’t ask me, I wasn’t in the SAC. It took the winch on a tow truck to lift the generators
out of the missile silo. They would have to locate some empty fuel tankers to haul the
fuel. The permanently installed standby generator also powered a high capacity pump
to pump the fuel from the missile fuel tank. Kansas City had, indeed, been nuked and
they bypassed the city on their way to Topeka. Why look for trouble? The whole idea of
a trip to the second cache was to be ready if trouble came looking for them.

Dear President Putin,

My wife and I bought a refurbished Atlas missile silo in upstate New York and have
turned it into our home. We thought it only prudent to close the silo doors. Please don’t
target our home. Just because the silo is closed doesn’t mean we have a missile, the
government refused to sell me one. And, even if they did, I couldn’t afford the fuel, have
you seen the price of fuel lately? Let me tell you… $50 to top off my H1 Alpha Hummer.

Sincerely,

Mr. & Mrs. John Q. Public

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It seems there is a downside to everything, huh? It sounds to me like Mr. & Mrs. Public
are ready for WW III; are you? Get some heirloom seeds; the varieties that grow in the
northern climes… don’t forget to save those potato eyes.

I’m stopping this chapter for a moment to only talk about personal stuff. My kid and I
had a long talk last night about our moving to Flippin. He’s actually doing a rent-to-own
in Gassville, about ½ way between Mountain Home and Flippin. He told me that the
money we could clear on our home in Palmdale, after commission, etc. would be
enough to buy a home for cash in Mountain Home. It turns out that my in-laws are most-
ly a bunch of ridge runners and I was assured that there probably wasn’t any weapon I
wanted that I couldn’t find, excluding a 40mm grenade launcher.

He called to get information to fill out the papers for his Secret security clearance. Ap-
parently they won’t send you to Iraq unless you have a Secret clearance. That makes
sense, after Abu Grabass. Now, if they’d just send those dang embedded reporters’
home… and take away all of the soldiers’ cameras. Anyway, if he doesn’t get the clear-
ance, he can’t go. That really breaks my heart. He’s not perfect, but he’s the best one of
the bunch.

Now, I have a question myself. The characters in this story are pretty well off in terms of
their ability to survive. They’ve recovered enough weapons to equip Osage Beach and
they have solar power, a huge supply of fuel, and thousands of trees that can be cut
down for firewood. I can stop the story here or continue it

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part II – Mountain Home – Chapter 1 – Moved

In May of 2005, in a Galaxy, far, far away… (Not)

After much consideration and discussion, Gary had persuaded Sharon that they should
sell the house in Palmdale and move to Mountain Home, Arkansas. It meant leaving
Ron and Clarence in Palmdale to fend for themselves, but hey, the Republik of Kalifor-
nia could get along just fine without them. With the cost of living being what it was in
Palmdale, they could barely afford gas for the worn out Buick Skylark. They couldn’t
even afford to repair the air conditioner.

When it was said and done, they had just enough money to pay for the move and buy a
new home but didn’t have a lot left over for very much else. They moved the oak furni-
ture and junked the stuff in the living room and the box springs and mattress. Replacing
those few items basically left them broke, as in flat. However, Derek had been right,
their cost of living was very much lower, and the former house payment of almost $600
a month was found money. As in $300 apiece per month, found money. Having written
numerous stories, Gary had a pretty good idea what he wanted to spend his money on
– guns, ammo and survival preparations.

In the last story he’d written, he’d discussed the M1 Garand rifle and the development of
the M14 rifle. It was time to take his-own advice. Taking that advice would prove to be
very difficult, but there was no other way. Every month he took his $300 allowance and
socked it away. All except for about $70, which, he put in the hands of a company,
named Reese Surplus, Inc. to buy a single BM 59 Tricompensator-muzzle break-flash
hider for $59 plus shipping. The M1A Loaded model rifle wasn’t really that far in his fu-
ture. However, what was the point of having a M1A rifle and a BM 59 Tricompensator-
muzzle break-flash hider? What he really wanted was an M14 rifle to test his theory that
with the gadget off the Beretta rifle, the M14 was the perfect rifle.

Mary started introducing us to her kin, a few at a time. These people didn’t much take to
outsiders, especially someone who talked like a Yankee. After he’d gotten to know a
few of them in the summer of 2005, Gary showed up at the Independence Day family
picnic with the Beretta Tri-comp. Discussing his desire to create a rifle unlike any he
was aware of ended up getting Gary a lecture from one of those ridge runners who was
anything but illiterate. He told Gary:

“Since 1971, US commercial manufacturers have produced more than 230,000 M14
type rifles. Most commercial manufactured M14 type rifles are very similar to the US Ri-
fle, 7.62mm, M14 except that they are not select fire. The exceptions are an estimated
1000 to 2000, built by Smith Enterprise and Springfield Armory, Inc., select fire rifles
produced prior to May 19, 1986. Forty-eight USGI M14 rifles were registered prior to the
end of the 1968 Gun Control Act amnesty and are in the hands of American civilians. In
the United States, the May 1986 ban ceased production of select fire M14 type rifles.
Civilians may own select fire M14 type rifles in the USA as long as federal, state and
local laws are complied with. US Government Issue (USGI) M14 rifles have been ex-

195
ported to New Zealand and Canada from Israel for sale to private owners. There are
surplus USGI M14 rifles also available for sale in the Netherlands. Undoubtedly, a small
number of M14 rifles remain in the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. Translation: There
were select fire M-14 rifles around the world that hadn’t been destroyed. Hot dang.
What’s more, in the state of Arkansas:

A machine gun is defined as “a weapon of any description by whatever name known,

loaded or unloaded from which more than five shots or bullets may be rapidly, or auto-
matically, or semi-automatically discharged from a magazine, by a single function of the
firing device.” Machine guns must be registered with the Secretary of State, in addition
to being registered under Federal Law.

Under federal law, you could only legally own an automatic weapon that was on the
NFR as of May 19, 1986. Therein lay the problem. People who had them didn’t want to
sell them for anything like a reasonable price.

I say: I think that the federal government’s power was restricted by the 10th Amendment
and they derive their criminal powers from either treason or the Interstate Commerce
Clause. I disagree on the Court’s decision even though I’m against smoking pot. Those
Justices are federal employees, sworn to defend and uphold the Constitution. They
ought to do it.

Isn’t this just the best place to live in the whole wide world? Gary and Sharon moved to
Mountain Home, Arkansas in June of 2005. They were barely settled in the new home
and didn’t even have the boxes unpacked when a bunch of terrorists blew up Yellow-
stone and Long Valley caldera on July 5, 2005, Lorrie’s birthday. What a revolting de-
velopment that was. And then, a neighbor comes screaming, “Turn on the radio, it’s the
end of the world.” I’m not God, but the world doesn’t have my permission to end, just
yet. I had intended on starting another story, but the title (Mountain Home) was already
taken. I’m flexible. Watch me try and integrate the new story with my previous story. If
you think about it, you already know how that will happen.

“I hate pinto beans.”

“Then cook the great northern beans.”

“I hate beans and rice, period.”

“Well, you try and buy enough food to live on for 30 days with only $25. The beans are
still good; I remember when I bought them, 9/11/01.”

“Are they buggy?”

196
“How should I know? Sort through them or just use them the way they are for the extra
protein. Soak them overnight and it won’t take so long to cook them. I’m glad I bought
all of those large plastic jars of chili powder and dried onion. We can have chili and
rice.”

“That’s going to get boring, very quick.”

“Make some cornbread; you know how much I hate it. That way you’ll get even. And
don’t forget to put a can of diced tomatoes in the chili.” (Except for a break, we’ve been
married since 1976. Sounds like it, doesn’t it?)

“What are we going to use for lights? How am I going to cook anything without electrici-
ty?”

“There are 6 2-gallons jugs of kerosene and 5 lamps. There are 6 1-gallon cans of
Coleman fuel for our camp stove. If we have to, we can get some wood and start a fire
in the fireplace. If you hadn’t gotten rid of all of my cast iron, we’d be a lot better off.”

“Spilt milk. I didn’t expect you back.”

“Why not? You’re the one who told me she was a hussy and would dump me when she
was tired of me. She did and didn’t even to bother to tell me about it. She just started
going out with that neighbor of ours.”

“And you went and found another one.”

“Right with a single digit IQ. She kept pulling up her shirt and showing me her chest but
wouldn’t let me touch it.”

“Your picker never was any good.”

“I picked you.”

It shut her up for the moment, anyway. Damon was MIA, again. DJ was with his grand-
parents in Missouri and Derek was at Ft. Lewis, Washington taking training so he could
go to Iraq and get his butt shot off. While they were in Flippin on the 4th of July, they
took the Iowa checkbook, went to Wal-Mart and bought a 3kw generator to keep the re-
frigerator going, just in case. We hadn’t bought a freezer, yet. We had 7 5-gallon gas
cans and 25-gallons of gas. Sharon picked up a few things and Gary stocked up on
Grape Nuts and powdered milk, just in case.

“Mary we’re going back to Mountain Home. If you need anything, let us know.”

197
“See you later, thanks for coming.”

“Did you remember to take your insulin?”

“I took it this morning. It will be time to take it again before I go to bed.”

“You should watch your schedule better.”

“I take it one time sometime after I get up and one time sometime before I go to bed.
What’s wrong with that schedule? The only time you want to fix breakfast is when you’re
hungry. If you didn’t get hungry, the bacon would grow mold before it got used.”

“I resent that, I fix pancakes.”

“Very good for a diabetic. Especially with the Aunt Jemima syrup.”

“You’d be better off if you quit smoking.”

“I’ll quit when I run out of cigarettes.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“And the first of every month you come and ask me how many cartons I want for this
month.”

“Don’t be flip.”

“Flip? FLIP? I can barely walk. Slow down, you’re up to 15mph. You’re not used to driv-
ing THAT fast.”

I have a pet and his name is Peeve. You just got to meet him and some of his friends.
We moved 2,000# of cloth for making quilts. I anticipate that Sharon will run out in 2525.
We also have enough yarn to crochet an afghan the size of Rhode Island. But she now
has carpal tunnel syndrome.

We could have been worse off. We had 5 5-packs of toilet paper (150 rolls), 12 cans of
Folgers, and I had worked myself up to 10 cartons of cigarettes, 5 that Sharon had just
purchased and 5 she didn’t know about. We had just filled all of our prescriptions and
except for Amaryl and Diovan, I had a 60-day supply of everything. Sharon was good
for 45-days, maybe 60. I had an extra box of .32ACP in case a bird attacked me. So, I
turned on the TV to CNN and watched Wolf Blitzer tell us that it was the end of the
world because 3 atom bombs had been detonated in Yellowstone and 2 in the Resur-
gent Dome in Long Valley Caldera. Neither of the Calderas had erupted, yet. The
Threat Level was a Red, now, and the country was at DEFCON 2. The last time that

198
happened when during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Wait, there’s something new… Biolog-
ical and chemical weapons were released in Nebraska sometime after the nukes in the
area of North Platt along I-80. (Feel free to disregard the part where I said we didn’t feel
much in Palmdale in Part I of this story, I was confused, as usual.)

“Dang it, there go the lights. Do you think I dare fire up the generator to run the TV so
we will know what is going on?”

“We can always buy more gas.”

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

I fired it up and ran extensions to the TV and to the refrigerator. I had 2 of the 100’ cords
I’d moved from Palmdale. We used them for our electric weed eater and electric hedge
trimmer. We didn’t eat weeds. Come to think of it, we didn’t use the weed eater very
much either or trim the hedge. Eventually, the calderas both blew their tops. CNN said
that initial estimates suggested that Yellowstone would go 2,000km³ and that Long Val-
ley could go as high as 750km³. It isn’t a good idea to run a computer from a generator,
or so I’m told.

Eventually, I couldn’t stand it and sometime later when I had the generator running for
the refrigerator, I took a chance. The Internet was up, Praise God. I checked CNN, the
LA Times and then the Washington Times, just to get a balanced viewpoint. I found an
interesting article:

Fleeing From Terror

By Bruce Jenkins

Some story about a former FOX Reporter who was going to Yellowstone to narrate a
special for National Geographic; and, I can’t say that I ever heard of the guy or saw him
on FOX.

Hell I might as well listen to CNN instead. Wolf said that the estimate of 2,000km³ of ash
from the eruption of Yellowstone seemed accurate; according to the USGS. They’d
missed the mark on Long Valley; it had only put out 600km³, rather than the projected
750km³. What I wanted to know was why Bush had shut down the nuclear power plants.
Gas was getting high enough in price that I began to believe we were back in Kalifornia.

Well, so much for saving $300 each a month. We were going to be saving a lot more
than that with no electricity to pay for. Every once in a while I brought up the bank in
Charles City on the Internet and had Sharon check the balance. Now that was good and
getting better. They had much of the trust fund invested in government bonds and the
remainder in some blue chip stocks that always paid their dividends on time, no matter
what. I checked the local bank about my Social Security. It, my Iowa pension and Sha-

199
ron’s Disney pension were all there. Understand, we didn’t have any lights, but we had
money. Considering the price of gas, we were going to need it.

There wasn’t much food in the stores either, but we could buy enough of this and that to
get by. I’ll have to admit, I’m not partial to this and that; but what could we do? I bought
3 cords of firewood because the furnace didn’t work without electricity and I couldn’t run
that pipsqueak 3kw generator all of the time. We didn’t need to use the camp stove be-
cause we had natural gas. We just had to use a match to light the burners. It was just
like before they started putting computer chips in stoves. This wasn’t the time to be
looking for a standby residential generator either.

At least we weren’t fighting anymore. The silence was deafening. That’s what we do
when we don’t fight; we don’t talk to each other for long periods at a time. We don’t real-
ly fight very often either, come to think of it. Whenever the last one was, I’m sure I lost. I
didn’t realize that I sort of read lips. Unless I’m looking at a person, I don’t usually un-
derstand what they are saying. That has its good points and its bad points, let me tell
you. The lights came back on October 31st. We had gone without power from July 5th,
or thereabouts, until October 31st. With no electricity to pay for, we had managed to ac-
cumulate a fair amount of money. Not enough so I could go to Israel and buy an M14,
but enough that I could get on a waiting list for a standby residential generator.

The one I really liked was the Koehler 35RZG-RES propane fueled with the 1800rpm
engine. It put out 142 amps at 240v. It wasn’t cheap but we’d been without lights for 4
months. I ordered it and hoped to hell we could pay for it. I didn’t give a dang about the
noise, I just wanted electricity when TSHTF again. It would, you know, this stuff hap-
pens in 3’s.

Say did you see that story on TV? George W. Bush bombed Saudi Arabia. They have a
big to do going about it in the Congress. They’re also saying that we moved the B-2
bombers to Saudi Arabia, except they’re calling it Arabia now. What the hell, the price of
gas is coming down, way down, and everyone knows that Saudi Arabia was behind
most of the terrorism anyway. I’m not losing any sleep over it.

It was a tough winter. Plus it was cold as hell with lots of snow in the beginning. I didn’t
figure that would last because I’d been studying the abrupt climate change thing. I had a
copy of the scenario on my computer in a pdf file. It’s all tucked away in its own subdi-
rectory. If my HDD ever crashes, I’m a dead man. My whole life is on that my computer.
We didn’t have any trouble paying for the generator because it was June of 2006 before
they could install it and it was COD with freight due whether we accepted the genset or
not.

We put in the automatic transfer switch and the whole nine yards. Got the propane
company to put in a 3,300-gallon tank, it wasn’t enough, but it was a start. Sharon was
actually happy about the standby generator. I wouldn’t let her run her sewing machines
on the 3kw generator. Of course we had a little money left over. She goes to Sears and
buys a 25ft³ chest freezer. Then she proceeds to fill it. I would have been happy with

200
macaroni and cheese or chili and rice, but she buys steaks, roasts… come to think of it,
she bought the whole dang cow and a pig and 2 cases of chickens. I was happy she on-
ly bought one hog.

The next thing you know there’s another stink, this time in the United Nations. It seems
that someone nuked Iran. I knew that it had to be us, the US. Hell no, it wasn’t us. Rus-
sia said that they’d been watching the US and the B-2 bombers that took off from Arabia
had gone to Diego Garcia. Russia was blaming the Israelis and they weren’t talking. To
do so, they would have had to deny or admit they had nuclear weapons. The whole
darned world knew they had them at Dimona, but they had ‘No Comment’.

So here we are in Mountain Home, Arkansas and Derek is in Iraq attempting suicide
and I have the tri-comp but no darned M14. Or, shotgun. Or, .22 rifle. Or, M1911. I’m
feeling about as naked as those dancers in Las Vegas in some of those shows. Any-
way, Mary and Elizabeth and Josh are over visiting with grandpa and grandma and I’m
complaining how life just doesn’t seem fair somehow. So Mary says, “Come with me
Grandpa and we’ll go out to the car. She opened the trunk and handed me a box. I
looked inside and there must have been 30 or more of those 20-round M14 magazines
and when I looked and they were all USGI magazines. That put me closer. Then she
moved a blanket revealing a rifle case. Well now, I was about ready to cream my jeans
and she opened the case and guess what? One genuine USGI select fire M14 rifle,
that’s what. (She got it from a cousin for $400.) I didn’t know whether to drop the maga-
zines and kiss her or what to do besides stammer. So I said, “thanks.”

That rifle didn’t have the BM59 tri-comp mounted ‘cause it couldn’t be done! Look out
you Ruskies or MZB’s or whoever you are, the Tired Old Man has a select fire M14 rifle
with a whole bunch of magazines. No ammo and no bayonet, but I had gone from the
99 yard line to the 1 yard line and it was first down and 1-yard to go. Christmas had
come very early in 2006. Like around late June.

Did you ever eat just ONE potato chip? Sharon had that freezer stocked and was put-
ting up extra coffee and food and we had a 35kw generator and 3,000-gallons of pro-
pane to run it on. So, before I did one other thing, I went to the house and installed my
spare 60 Gb drive in my tired old computer and formatted it in the same format as my
other drive (NTFS) and copied all of my files to the new drive. Then, I took out the new
drive and put it in its box and put it up. It just didn’t seem to me that something bad
couldn’t help but come now that so much good had come our way. The time to strike is
while the iron is hot.

“Say, honey could we talk for a minute?”

“What now?”

“Since I got my Christmas present early, could I get some ammo?”

“I don’t see why not, what do you need, 3 or 4 boxes?”

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“Well, I was thinking more on the order of 5 boxes, would that be too many?”

“I don’t suppose so. What’s the difference, 4 boxes or 5? Go ahead and get some.”

“You’re sure 5 boxes won’t be too much? How are we on money?”

“We’re in pretty good shape for a change. Everything is paid for and we have $5,000 in
the Iowa account. Why?”

“The ammo is $239 a box, delivered to our door.”

“WHAT! How much ammo in a box?”

“1,000-rounds of Lake City manufactured ammo.”

“I thought you were talking about some 20 or 50-round boxes.”

“Well, I can get some old Argentinean surplus for $260 for 1,600-rounds but it is 25
years old.”

“When was this stuff manufactured?”

“According to Ammoman, this year.”

“It will have to be your Christmas present.”

“That’s great, I don’t mind.” (She always forgets by Christmas anyway.)

“Well I said you could have 5 boxes, BUT don’t be looking for any more ammo for that
new rifle of yours.”

“Thanks, Sharon, I wouldn’t think of it.” (In a pig’s eye.) “By the way, I’ve notice that I’m
smoking a little more these days, would you start buying me 6 cartons a month instead
of 5?” (Actually, I’d cut down to 1 carton a week, on average.)

“Smoking is going to kill you.”

“Ok, I’ll try to cut back.”

“See that you do. Ok, 6 cartons a month.”

During the 4-month power outage, I’d been able to get 5 cartons a month because not
so many smoke Kool’s Super Longs 100’s cigarettes. I actually had gotten myself up to
10 cartons, all locked up in my office supply cabinet. She presumed that I must be out
and the next day came home with 6 cartons. It would have been rude of me to correct

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her, wouldn’t it? It doesn’t pay to be rude to one’s wife. I hurried up and called Eric be-
fore she changed her mind on the ammo. Another thing I had on my computer was a
pdf file with complete instructions on how to dismantle and clean an M14 rifle. I’m not a
bad person but sometimes sneaky works very, very well.

I got the ammo, checked it over and loaded it into those 5-round stripper clips and then
packed it into 30 caliber used ammo cans with a couple of desiccant packs per can. My
next project was the shotgun. I looked around and found a darned good used Mossberg
590A1 riot gun with a 20” cylinder barrel, and bought it out of my $300 a month allow-
ance savings. Next, I went looking for a good used Colt M1911 that might look a little
rough but was in good mechanical condition. I found one that only needed a new barrel
and barrel bushing a couple of months later.

As long as I stayed within the $300 a month allowance, I didn’t really have to explain
anything to the wife. Because it had taken 2 months, I had enough money to buy the
pistol, a new surplus barrel and a barrel bushing plus a 10-pack of 7 round magazines
from Eric. Three down and one to go. I blew the $300 on her and the family for Christ-
mas 2006. Now, if Rule 1 is Never Lie, Rule 2 might be Never Over Explain. Always tell
the truth, it avoids having to remember which lie you told to whom. Perhaps Rule 3 is
never answer a question unless it gets asked. They taught that to us in basic training in
the form of Never Volunteer.

For Christmas, she bought me a Ruger 10/22, not my favorite but any port in a storm. In
January 2007, I bought 250 rounds of 15-pellet 3” 00 buckshot, 250 rounds of Brenneke
3” slugs and 250 rounds of .45ACP. Before ya’ll get too mean with me, remember one
thing. All of the household income except for $300 a month came from my trust fund,
my Social Security and my Iowa pension. Sharon’s Disney pension was a little over
$300 a month. She was keeping her pension checks and everything else came out of
my income so I didn’t have an overly guilty conscience. I bought her that Dell Pentium
IV with the 2.66Ghz processor; I bought the sewing machines, etc.; and I paid for 2,000
pounds of quilting cloth, or my income did. I didn’t mind as long as I got my prescrip-
tions, cigarettes and a little macaroni and cheese once in a while. In February, I bought
20 bricks of .22LR ammo and 3 spare 10-round magazines for the 10/22.

I had what I wanted and we were saving money again. When I had the chance, I’d buy
more ammo, a roll of silver dimes or something, just to improve our survival situation. I
wanted to die when I was supposed to, not when some guy with an ICBM or whatever
decided my number was up. The house had a basement so I took the time and rein-
forced the ceiling with a triple layer of that OSB they use on roofs, lots of those adjusta-
ble steel posts and three layers of solid concrete blocks. It took me the entire winter of
2006-2007 and it was a long winter.

I was very careful and took my time. Concrete blocks are 7” thick so that means that the
overhead was 21” of concrete. Derek was back from Iraq and he helped me; otherwise
I’d probably still be working on it. I supported the sheeting (OSB) with 2”×6” lumber on
12” centers, what did I know about supporting that much weight? The 2’×6’ joists were

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supported by a triple laminated beam made up of 3 2”x12” planks. The ceiling was a lit-
tle low, but Sharon and I are only 5’ 5”, or less. I added a few items to her grocery list
too, like flashlight batteries, etc. Funny, I never heard what a bad idea that little 3kw
generator had been. We did the lost prescription bit that we’d pulled on Dr. J back when
we lived in Palmdale and were also accumulating a little extra prescription medication.
One set of prescriptions from Wal-Mart and one set from Walgreen’s. Plus each Rx was
for a 60-day supply of each drug.

And, even after all of that, I had money left over out of my allowance every month. Not a
lot, but some. It turned out that Mary had bought 3 of those M14 rifles, she had been in
the Army too, but you knew that. Her cousin had a whole case that had fallen off a truck.
All the kids needed were those tri-comps fitted to their select fire M14 rifles. For Christ-
mas of 2007, I gave Derek some Lake City surplus 7.62×51mm ammo, plus my used
870 riot gun and Mary my 10/22. They now needed ammo, but there were birthdays.
The basement looked more like a storeroom than a basement to be perfectly honest.
Except for some kind of blast door and an air filtration system with high capacity blast
valves, our shelter was complete. We had our own septic tank and our own well and
one of those cute little water pumps with that tank with the bladder.

I told Derek to buy the .22LR bricks from Wal-Mart and that I’d order him some of the
Argentinean surplus the next time I ordered another case of 7.62 to bring my supply
back up to 5,000 rounds. I also told him that he’d better plan on getting a couple of
M1911’s, ammo and extra mags. He dragged home some discarded ALICE gear and
we got it repaired. Touchdown. One point extra conversion. The 870 was replaced with
that 590A1 and the 10/22 with a used 9422 in .22LR.

Dang, now Syria was gone and Putin told everyone that the US didn’t do it this time ei-
ther. I was starting to get nervous and was taking the 3 Xanax a day, as prescribed. I
bought some Potassium Iodate and that package deal from Radmeters4U. Since I
needed to buy the kid a survey meter too, I popped for 2 of the deals that they sold and
added a few extra dosimeters and one CD V-717. I also helped the kid do his basement
by handing him the blocks. One of Mary’s many relations fashioned blast doors using 4
laminated ¾” steel plates and we were down to filtering the air. Plus another 3,000-
gallons of propane was high on my list. We got worn but functional electric kitchen
stoves, one for each family’s basement. We got used electric heaters to heat the shel-
ters. Finally a pair of government surplus blast valve/air filter systems came on the mar-
ket and the shelters were done. It was the 4th of July 2008.

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part II – Mountain Home – Chapter 2 – I’ll Be Damned

Probably. An irreverent look at a survival situation? Maybe, maybe not. Class III viola-
tion? The Bill of Rights says I have the right to keep and bear arms. It doesn’t say, ex-
cept for… It doesn’t say they have to be registered… I’m a strict constructionist, not a
subversive. I really do believe in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. I wish others felt
the same, like the Supreme Court for example! I may be crazy and senile, but I’m a
well-educated crazy and senile old man. I learned to read and write in grade school. I
don’t speak any foreign languages, but the unofficial language of the US is American
English, in most places, except the south. All of those illegal Méxicans in Kalifornia don’t
bother me now. As far as I’m concerned, we’ll move Lorrie and Amy to Arkansas and
México can have it back. Kalifornia’s budget is probably more than México’s GNP. Kali-
fornia’s GSP is more than the GNP of more than 90% of the countries in the world.
(Some gentlemen sent me lots of suggestions for my stories. I’ll use some of them be-
cause they brought up many things I never thought of, very good ideas.)

Were we ready for the Big One? How can you ever be ready for something like that?
We’re pretty well prepared, but there is no such thing as being ready. The only way I
could get another 3,000-gallons of propane was to buy my own tank. We bought a used
3,300 gallon tank from a scrap yard, got it repaired, safety valve replaced, painted and
filled. Both tanks were mounted on slabs and strapped to the slabs like you’d strap a
mobile home to the ground. If a tornado takes the tanks, it will have to take the slabs
along too. Derek and Mary put in a wood stove and I gave him my 3kw generator and
the extension cords. My Dad borrowed my splitting wedges 15-20 years ago and forgot
to return them. He died in 2001, so I guess I’ll have to buy some more. Never did get a
new car, but we did get the air conditioner fixed. It only has 150,000 miles on the odom-
eter; it’s barely broken in. Our last trip in it will be to the junkyard, as always.

You did know that I’m afraid of heights, right? More than 2 steps up a ladder and I get a
nosebleed, my heart acts funny and I’m shaking so badly the ladder wobbles. (true sto-
ry) A fella I knew in AA was trying out a new parachute. It didn’t have the automatic
safety release. So either he killed himself or he got ground fixation. Either way, he died.
I love the movie line about the stupidity of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. I
used to have to get drunk to get on a commercial airline. Thanks for the suggestion, but
no. You and the wife have fun. It’s not that far from Mountain Home to Osage Beach,
155 miles. We didn’t buy suppressors because we didn’t care if ‘they’ heard us shoot
‘them’. Those hillbillies say, “Well hey, y’all.” Hay is the first stage of horse manure. I
just say, say hey for me when you see them… American English, different dialect; it
wasn’t like having to learn a whole new language, almost. Did I miss any toes?

Fourth of July picnic, Flippin, 2008…

“Hey Bubba, howr yu?” (See I’m learning the language.)

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“Cain’t complane, weren’t do no dang good anyhow. How yu be?”

“Middlin.”

“Same stuff, difn’t day?”

“Right.”

“Be sure and try the turnip greens, the missus fixed ‘em special.”

“Right.” (In the year 2525, if I’m still alive.)

Nice folks, actually. Plain spoken. Slow to warm to outsiders, especially Yankees. The
more I started to sound like them, the more they accepted me. Did you ever notice how
after a person spends a week in Texas he or she has a drawl? It’s some sort of infec-
tious disease.

“Bubba, tell me sumthin. How did Gassville git its name? They eat a lot of beans or
sumptin?”

“Doan rightly know. Har, har, I git it.” (Took you long enough.)

Every family has its Bubba. My Bubba is named Damon. One of these days, he’ll come
rolling in on his Harley and want a cold bottle of beer. I’d love to say that I don’t miss a
beer, but then I’d be lying. What I don’t miss is the hangovers, bloodshot eyes and up-
set stomach. And the reason I can’t remember what happened last night is because I’m
getting old instead of it being another blackout. Did you ever have one of those? In ac-
tual fact, you get so drunk that you brain gets disgusted and turns off the tape recorder.
That is the true, but unscientific, explanation, sort of. The memories are there, but not
where your mental HDD file allocation table (FAT) says they are. If you really work at it,
you might dredge them up, but why embarrass yourself?

FEMA just announced that we should increase our stored food from a 3-day supply to a
two-week supply. What in the hell is going on? And, if I adjust to a two-week supply,
what am I going to do with the other 50 weeks’ worth? Something’s brewing, I can tell it.
It’s a good thing that I bought Sharon a Mini-14, Butler Creek folding stock, flashhider, a
dozen PMI 30 round mags and ordered 5,000-rounds of M193 from the Ammoman. She
doesn’t like the looks of the ASSAULT RIFLE, as she calls it, always in a loud voice.
That’s ok with me because I only said it was for her. Actually it was to replace the one
I’d sold off years ago. I gave her the .32ACP and told her it was for when the birds at-
tacked her, plusa good used Browning Hi-Power and surplus 13-round magazines

Anyway, since they said to buy more food, we bought more food and seeds and fertiliz-
er. Plus extra kerosene, Coleman fuel, flashlight batteries and made certain that we had

206
all of the refills we could get on our prescriptions. They thought I was nuts wanting that
many insulin syringes, but hey, I have a lot of those little bottles of Humalin. A six-pak of
Humalin 70/30 runs about $160.

“Dad. Derek.”

“What’s up kid?”

“I got a call from the Arkansas National Guard and we’re on Alert.”

“Why?”

“I think there is something going down.”

“Think? Hell I know there’s something going down. FEMA said we needed a 2-week
supply of food. That’s about how long that we’d have to be in a shelter if the Ruskies
nuked us. How are you guys on your preps?”

“Hey, I’ve got to go, Damon just pulled in on his Harley.”

“Call me back ASAP.”

“Sharon, call Amy and Lorrie and tell them to get their butts to Mountain Home. I think
the crap is about to hit the fan.”

“They may not have gas money, Gary.”

“Wire them some; just get them here pronto. As in drive straight though, pronto. They’ve
put the Arkansas National Guard on Alert.”

“I’ll call Linda and tell her to give them gas money.”

“How? I tried to call both Ron and Clarence last year and both of their phones were dis-
connected. I’m guessing that Linda’s dad died and she got her ½ million and they
moved to Cedar Hill. If they did, they have an unlisted number. I have no idea where
Clarence went, maybe back to Birmingham.”

“I’ll call Amy.”

“I’m going to Derek’s to see Damon.” (She must have forgotten I don’t have a driver’s
license.)

“Don’t invite him for dinner.”

“I hadn’t planned to.”

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Whatever Derek had in preps wouldn’t be enough. Frankly I doubted that he had any
money to do any more and Damon ate like a horse. It’s just a good thing I gave Derek
the used riot gun and Mary bought them 2 of the M14’s. Damon actually likes a shotgun
over a rifle. I think he has a sadistic streak, but I’m not really sure. The thing about the
shotgun is that you’re looking them in the eye when you pull the trigger. So anyway, I
gave Derek all of my spare cash and told him to go buy food.

Damon and I got into it because he hadn’t brought his kids. He said that they were get-
ting big and he couldn’t fit 3 of them in a sidecar, even if he had one. Well, there aren’t
any missile targets in Garner, Iowa so I let it go. Derek gave Mary all of the money and
sent her to the Wal-Mart in Flippin. He stayed to referee Damon and me. Don’t kid your-
self, that Wal-Mart Super store in Flippin is smaller than either of the Wal-Mart stores in
Palmdale or the two in Lancaster. I think Super means they sell guns or something.
Wal-Mart doesn’t sell guns in Kalifornia.

“So do you have a larger generator or are you limited to the 3kw unit I gave you?”

“Didn’t have the money, Dad.”

“How are you going to run the electric stove?”

“I hadn’t gotten that far.”

“Crap. You have 3,000-gallons of propane and no standby power system? We’re going
to Mountain Home and get you a 12kw Onan unit they have in stock. If the Guard acti-
vates you, you tell them you have 2 broken legs and a toothache.”

When we got to Mountain Home, I wrote a check for over 5 grand and got him an RS
12000 and a 100-amp automatic transfer switch. On LP, the RS 12000 is rated at 92
amps at 120v so they would have enough electrical power. He got one of Mary’s cous-
ins to wire it in. I went home and called the bank in Charles City and told them there had
been an emergency and I had to buy Derek an emergency generator. I also told Matt
that Damon was at Derek’s. He said the check overdrew the account, but he’d transfer
in enough to cover it. I told him it would sure be nice if I had a generator, too. He said
$10,000, but not a penny more. I calculated the difference and cashed a check at the
bank in exactly that amount. I didn’t tell Matt that I didn’t have a generator; I only told
him it would be nice if I had a generator too.

The banker was married and had kids. Is it my fault I pulled the oldest scam there was
on him and he didn’t catch it? Hell no, and it’s my money anyway. If TSHTF then what?
Having all of that money in a trust fund in Iowa won’t do us one danged bit of good. It
went against my principles to do that, but hey, Russia is going to attack us any day,
right? We spent the extra money on food and other emergency supplies and I bought
$2,700 worth of silver dimes and quarters, about $500 face value.

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That was on July 23rd. On the 24th, Sharon checked the Iowa bank balance on the In-
ternet and the jerk had deposited $25,000. He may be a jerk, but right about then, I
loved him. So, we went to the bank and cashed a check for 15 grand and bought
$10,000 more silver coins and Krugerrands. Then I drove (no driver’s license mind you)
to Gassville and laid half of the gold and silver on Derek, just in case. I told Derek half of
the money was for his brother but he would have to manage it for him. Damon had bor-
rowed Mary’s car and gone to Garner to get the kids. I guess giving him hell was a good
thing, after all. The girlfriend had stayed and was swilling beer at 11am on a Wednes-
day. Derek told me that the only booze in his basement shelter was a couple of bottles
of hooch locked up in his gun safe. I took Damon’s prescription bottles and went to see
my doctor. I explained that the kid was crazy and I needed enough meds to tide him
over for four months. He wrote the Rx’s, I filled them and returned to Gassville and gave
them to Derek. How would you like to spend 2 weeks or 100 days in a shelter with
someone who is bi-polar and unmedicated?

When I got back to Mountain Home, Amy, Lorrie, David and all of the kids were there. I
gave the other half of the gold and silver to the girls and told them it was their inher-
itance, for now. It looked like we would have to sleep in shifts in the basement if TSHTF.
I guess that Arkansas doesn’t have a waiting period on rifles, like Kalifornia does, so I
took David to the store and I/we bought 5 used Mini-14s and all of the 5.56 ammo and
large capacity magazines they had. Not enough ammo so we went to Wal-Mart and
bought all of the 5.56 they’d sell us and then over to Flippin and bought all of the 5.56
ammo we could get until I ran out of cash. Anyway we ended up with 5 rifles, 30 maga-
zines, and all of the ammo I could buy until the $5,000 ran out.

All I can say at this point is that the crap had better hit the fan or I’m going to look
mighty foolish. Not stupid, certainly, but foolish. David said that the most they could stay
was until August 2nd. The next day Derek called to say that Damon had called and was
southbound with his kids. I told Derek that I didn’t have any more cash to give him for
food, so they’d just have to make do. He told me that the relations had brought them a
bunch of home canned food and they were in good shape. At full power the RS 12000
burned about 2.2 gallons of propane per hour. They were good for about 50 days at full
power and 100 at a 25% load (1.1gph).

My Kohler generator burned 187 ft³ per hour at full load and 91 ft³ per hour at 25% load.
There are 36.39 ft³ in one gallon. Converted, it meant 5.13gph and 2.5gph. We had
5,400-gallons of propane or 2,160 hours at 25% power. That was exactly 90 days; we
were in trouble. I called the dealer and pleaded, then begged. He finally caved in and
brought me a 1,100-gallon tank and 1,000-gallons of additional propane, giving me 105
days at 25% power and 51 days at full power. I kissed the driver’s hand, I was so grate-
ful. The driver told me that if the dealer knew I had 2 3,000-gallon tanks already, he
never would have given me the tank and 1,000 gallons. So, I told the driver that he
could figure on delivering a refill in about 3-4 months because I expected burning every
drop by then. He said he’d tell the owner and that would make everything ok.

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°

What I didn’t know, couldn’t know, probably because nobody had told me, was that the
2 3,000-gallon tanks were actually 3,300-gallon tanks and held 3,000-gallons net. I ac-
tually had 6,900-gallons of propane. I asked Sharon about it and she said she just paid
the bill and never looked at the invoices. Had I known, I’d have still pleaded and
begged. 6,000-gallons were just a little bit short.

“We’re going to have for leave for California on Saturday,” David announced. (8/2/08)

“Dang it, the crap is about to hit the fan any day. Are you sure you can’t stay?”

“I’m out of vacation, Gary. Tomorrow will be my last day.”

In the early morning hours, local time, of August 1, 2008, the Chinese Air Force began
bombing and attacking Taiwan with cruise missiles to eliminate their defenses. 5am was
the local time on August 1, 2008. Beijing is GMT +8 hours. Mountain Home is GMT –6
hours. It was DST, so make that GMT –5 hours; 5 + 8 = 13 hours ahead of us. The Chi-
nese attacked Taiwan at 4pm local time in Mountain Home on July 31, 2008. Now you
know what they mean by saved by the bell when there isn’t a boxing match going on.

“Dad. Derek. The United States is at DEFCON-1. I’m supposed to report to Fort
Chaffee.”

“You can’t go.”

“I have to go.”

“Let me talk to Damon, please.”

“What do you want now?”

“Listen kid. You knock Derek on the head or whatever it takes so he doesn’t go to Fort
Chaffee. Don’t argue with him, because you can’t take him. Just do it. By the time he
gets out of the ropes you’re going to use to tie him up, this whole thing will be over and
he won’t be able to go anywhere. Him going now is a crock. He can go later, if there is a
Fort Chaffee to go to.”

“I think we finally agree on something.”

“Put him on the phone and I’ll distract him so you can zap him.”

“You can kiss my ass. Here, he wants to talk to you,” Damon said, hopefully for Derek’s
benefit.

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I heard the phone hit the floor. Damon picked it up.

“Ok, but you’re going to have to explain it to him later. Talk to your later.”

“Wait, let me talk to Mary.”

“What grandpa?”

“Derek can go get himself killed after the war if he wants. I told Damon to do that and
you tell that lame-brained husband of yours that I told you to tell him. You don’t have a
CD V-717 so you stay in that shelter until I come and knock on your door.”

“Thank you very much.”

We stayed up and watched TV that night. I had all of the kids and anyone else who
wanted to sleep, sleep in the basement. Along about midnight the EAS tone started to
sound on the TV. I shut off the gas valve and pulled the main breaker, forcing the gen-
erator to come online. They emptied the refrigerator and Sharon went to the basement,
turned on my TV and called Mary. About the time I was closing the door to the shelter, it
occurred to me that I didn’t have any radios except for an AM/FM receiver. Dang. Screw
it; I had a genuine M14. I could always get a radio, somewhere. If I couldn’t buy it, I
most certainly could acquire it another way.

I told Lorrie and Amy they were disinherited and I wanted the gold and silver back. I did
that right away while they were still unsettled over the end of the world. Any warhead
that didn’t hit our little town wasn’t going to hurt us. The population of Mountain Home
was on the cusp of 10,000. Gassville was even safer at 1,700. The ridge runners had
their ridges to hide behind. I sat down with a regular full strength Coke Classic in one
hand and a cigarette in the other to watch the war until the TV went offline. And then, I
took 2 more Xanax and went to bed. The world was doing a pretty dang good job of kill-
ing itself without my help. It didn’t take long for the CD V-717 to go off scale, but I was
asleep by then.

I was 65 years old on March 23, 2008. Sharon had turned 61 on February 12th. Be-
tween the two shelters, my entire family was protected. Charlene had died the previous
year (2007) and Shirley earlier this year (2008). The only family that Sharon had left
was her brother Johnny, somewhere in Colorado. I had been the last living member of
my nuclear (immediate) family since 2001. I had a stepbrother in Waverly, Iowa, a niece
in Des Moines and another niece somewhere on the east coast. None of them called
me and I reciprocated. Sharon and Johnny had been close until he did 3 tours in Vi-
etnam. He really got screwed up with Agent Orange and PTSD. That was perfect. He
worked for the Post Office for a number of years. Surprised? Johnny was Postal before
it became an expression.

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The radiation level didn’t come down as fast as I had hoped. I made a unilateral deci-
sion to stay 2,401 hours in total. The decision wasn’t particularly popular, but I was
wearing the M1911 and put a Masterlock padlock with a case hardened hasp on the
door. The combination was 8428, the even digits in my Social Security Number, in or-
der. There are some numbers you can never forget. I figured that everyone would have
a go at 5030 and then give up. They were the last 4 digits of my phone number on the
day I graduated from High School. I was right. They couldn’t shoot me, I hadn’t written
the combination down, a fact that I mentioned every day. I’m a Patron member of the
NRA and the expression my cold dead hands actually means something to me. BTW,
the last 4 digits of Sharon’s phone number on the day she graduated from High School
were 5020.

On November 9, 2008 the CD V-717 wasn’t registering hardly anything even on the
lowest scale. I put on a pair of galoshes, an N-95 mask and headed out around 10am in
the morning. I can’t really tell you what I expected, maybe a coating of grit on every-
thing. There was a little, very little. I checked around with the CD V-715 and went back
and told everyone they could come out but to wear an N-95 mask and a freshly charged
CD V-742 dosimeter. Most of the dosimeters were the CD V-742’s (200R), but I had one
of the 200mR devices (CD V-138) too. I wore both so I could get a measure of the ra-
diation that the survey meters weren’t showing.

After I checked the entire back yard, we let the dogs out, too. Would you have locked
your dogs out? Don’t answer that, I’m not asking. The radiation level is 0.1 (10%) in 7
hours, 0.01 (1%) in 49 hours, 0.001(0.1%) in 343 hours and 0.0001(0.001%) in 2,401
hours. We had hit about 600R because after 2,401 hours, the radiation level was 60mR
per hour. Twenty-four hours a day for 120 days would result in a dose of 172.8R. Any-
thing up to 300R in 120 was acceptable. Everyone was so happy they didn’t have to go
down below they wanted to have a picnic. I was a little leery. I told them that Audrey,
Udell and Jeffrey would need to continue sleeping in the shelter until I said otherwise.

We obviously hadn’t gotten any EMP because a little cranking and the car started. I got
David to go with me carrying my M14 and my assault rifle, and we went to tell Derek
and Mary that it was safe to come out. I checked to make sure, and then pounded on
the door.

“Who is it?” David heard with his ear on the door.

“Casper the friendly ghost.” I yelled. It wasn’t any kind of password, but it was enough of
a wiseass remark they’d know who it was. The door opened and Derek came out and
punched me right in the mouth.

“You rotten SOB,” he said.

“Relax, kid, Fort Chaffee is history.”

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“That’s not the point.”

“Yes. It is. If you want to go, go. I’m not stopping you now. I stopped you then because
you had your head up your butt.”

Mary gave me a warm hug. Damon had a little bruising left on his cheek after the better
part of 100 days. I’d have loved to have seen that fight.

“Are you sure about Fort Chaffee?”

“I heard it on the AM radio. You can’t get there anyway, they hit Little Rock.”

“That’s just about where I would have been.”

I didn’t expect him to thank me for saving his hind end. His father had kept him from try-
ing to do his duty. Call it a draw, and forget it. Remind me not to po him off again, that
hurt.

“Where are your dosimeters?”

“We forgot.”

“Charge them and wear them. Here’ my CD V-138. Charge it and wear it for an hour.
Multiply the reading by 2,880 (24x120) and if it’s below 300 you’re ok. I recommend the
small children sleep in the shelter at night. That includes Britney, Aaron and Eric.”

“You owe me,” Damon said.

“Your brother paid the debt.”

“He has a mean punch.”

“I noticed the bruise isn’t all gone.”

“Now what?”

“Someone has to go to Camdenton and get them to deliver both of us propane. That’s
what the gold and silver is for. Figure $2000 apiece for the Krugerrands and maybe
$143 for a roll of dimes. If they offer more, take more, but don’t go any lower than that.
Krugerrands were worth $427.50 before August 1st. I’m figuring a 450% inflation factor,
minimum. One ounce of silver is one fiftieth of an ounce of gold or $40 an ounce; a roll
of junk dimes contains 3.575 ounces of silver times forty or $143.”

“Krugerrands are one ounce of gold.”

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“Get all you can, just don’t be unreasonable. And don’t let anyone push you around ei-
ther. We’re going back to Mountain Home. I almost forgot where could we get some ra-
dios?”

“I only know of two, S & S Amateur Radio Supply – Cabot, Arkansas and RLS Electron-
ics – Russellville, Arkansas. Cabot is near Little Rock. I think Russellville would be your
best bet. We’re only 7 miles apart. Even a CB base station would do.”

“Radio Shack. There are stores in Mountain Home and Flippin.” I didn’t smack my head
like FT’s characters always do. My mouth hurt enough. If we can’t get base stations,
we’ll run them off a car battery or run them off a power supply. Base station antennas
would be better, if we could get them. Wilson makes the best mobile CB antennas.”

“Cobras are the best radios,” Damon said. I guess if you want to know, ask a former
trucker. I like the Uniden Presidential radios.

Damon said he’d ride his Harley to Camdenton. Derek said he’d go to Flippin and look
for CB radios. I was going to the Radio Shack in Mountain Home. Buy if they were
open. Otherwise… borrow. We would get together at my house in 2 hours.

There was no one in Camdenton at the propane place. Damon said it looked like the
doors hadn’t been opened in quite a while. It was pretty danged cold, too. Derek had 4
Cobra mobile radios, 2 base station antennas and 6 Wilson antennas with magnetic
mounts. I had 2 Uniden radios and 2 power supplies to supply 13.8 volts to a mobile CB
radio. We swapped some stuff and decided to go to Camdenton the next day and help
ourselves like we did at Radio Shack. We’d use the Uniden radios as base stations and
the Cobras in the vehicles. I needed a pickup in the worst way. We had extra mobile CB
antennas, obviously. I guess that meant we needed 2 more mobile radios. I hadn’t
looked in the back room at the Radio Shack. I told Damon to take care of that and we’d
wait. He came back with 2 Wilson antennas and 4 cobra radios. I hate it when things
don’t come out even.

I asked if he could find me a new diesel pickup. He wanted to know what color. I said
any color club cab with a long bed. He still wanted to know what color. I told him brown
or green. The new diesel pickup he found had 4wd, a long bed, auxiliary fuel tank and a
winch lying in the back on the optional bed liner. It was RED. It also had the stickers on
the windows and he had both sets of keys and full fuel tanks. I didn’t ask, I just said,
“thanks.” So… what? I should leave it there and let somebody else borrow it? Damon
got there first or nobody wanted to borrow a bright red pickup you could see in the dark,
8 miles away. He’d also borrowed some plates from another red pickup of the same
brand. I asked that they should be back in the morning around 6am so someone could
mount my CB radio in my brand new bright red pickup.

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part II – Mountain Home – Chapter 3– Carl Who?

“Sagan. Carl Sagan.”

“Who was he? 008?”

“Carl Sagan (1934 –1996) was an American astronomer and science popularizer. He
pioneered exobiology and promoted the Search for ExtraTerrestrial Intelligence (SETI).
He is world-famous for his popular science books and the television series Cosmos,
which he co-wrote and presented. Sagan caused mixed reactions among other profes-
sional scientists. On the one hand, there was general support for his popularization of
science, his efforts to increase scientific understanding among the general public, and
his positions in favor of skepticism and against pseudoscience. On the other hand, there
was some unease that the public would misunderstand some of the personal positions
and interests that Sagan took as being part of the scientific consensus rather than his
own personal views, and there was some unease, which some believe to have been
motivated in part by professional jealousy, that scientific views contrary to those that
Sagan took (such as on the severity of nuclear winter) were not being sufficiently pre-
sented to the public. He is very famous for his book, The Nuclear Winter: The World Af-
ter Nuclear War. Sidgwick & Jackson, Carl Sagan et. al., 1985”

Nobody cared who Carl Sagan was, not in this crowd, at least. But, it sure was cold.
Record lows were being recorded. They had snow, early on again, and it stopped soon-
er than when the calderas blew. Further north the snow lasted longer. Gary stopped try-
ing to explain and told them to bundle up. Depending on how long the unusual weather
lasted, they could have another winter of cold, possibly more. The following winter
would be very dry. He didn’t explain, why bother? Those that already knew what he was
talking about didn’t need the explanation and those who didn’t know wouldn’t believe.
You can read about it at the spa.

Now it’s been ten thousand years

Man has cried a billion tears.
For what he never knew,
now man’s reign is through.

Not quite. Man still has 19,000 nuclear weapons left. The two most power countries in
the world are still the two most powerful countries in the world. Many countries escaped
the exchange. Why were the US and Russia still the two most powerful countries? Be-
cause they still had the most nuclear weapons in the world; that’s why. The US still had
almost 10,000 and the Russians had over 8,000. They could literally destroy the world,
if they wanted to.

Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. – Lord Acton

We’ve all heard the quote before. There is a danger inherent in the kind of power that
comes from having that kind of destructive power. The danger is that someone may

215
force you to use it. Theoretically the Congress could somehow manage to force the
President to exercise the power against another country. Or, two. Or, three. Maybe they
would only force him to use it once and he found out how easy and painless it was to
eliminate an enemy. And it was just like eating peanuts…

They even made the movie, Absolute Power (1997) with Clint Eastwood and Gene
Hackman. Hackman was the drunken President who killed a cheating wife he was
schluping and someone saw him. And the USSS was sent after the witness. It was only
a movie, wasn’t it? Norma Jean Mortensen (Baker), found dead in her Brentwood home
of a drug overdose, adjudged suicide. If you snuck in with a couple of Stealth bombers,
nobody would even know you were there. If someone did know, a little back scratching
here or there might smooth that over. Nah, it could never happen here. That’s why we
have freedom of the press, to keep things like that from happening. You spice it up with
a little scandal at some FEMA camps that the President doesn’t want coming out and
the pile of crap gets a little deeper.

You end up having a secret trial under the auspices of the USA Patriot Act and some
people end up in prison. Our fair-haired boys started out wanting to save the country
from the duplicity of the Oval Office and DHS. They turned into whistle blowers and the
President eventually had to get his Secretary, DHS to fall on his sword. There was noth-
ing to directly link the White House to the developing story about the abuses and cor-
ruption in the FEMA camps. The whole thing blew over and our heroes were in tight with
the DCI and he was covering their asses. Congress tried to investigate but they were up
to their neck in the bombing of Saudi Arabia. Somehow the entire affair fell off the
screen.

Then the leader of the second most powerful nation in the world ask the leader of the
most powerful nation for a small favor and said he’d cover for him if he’d just do this one
little thing. A deal was made and another country disappeared in a cloud of enhanced
radiation. A complaining foreign President ends up with a bad case of a .50BMG blood
poisoning and favors get called in again. The final piece in this puzzle came when
someone located Saddam’s missing WMD and country number 3 bit the dust. Halfway
around the world the 3rd most powerful nation in the world had its own agenda and they
ended up starting WW III.

Which more or less brings us up to date. Almost. The 2 fair-haired boys and their fami-
lies ended up in Missouri with a couple of semi-retired FSB agents, who now were actu-
ally retired and in a roundabout way working for the Agency. The roads in the Flippin,
Arkansas area were straight lines in comparison to that plot line. And the DCI has his
people in Missouri with access to 50 military caches of survival weapons, rations and
equipment.

However, the actions of cleaning out the cache in Missouri didn’t go unnoticed. The fol-
lowing spring, the Ott family and their kin went looking for an armory to raid and ended
up at Whitman AFB in Missouri. The base had been nuked and they didn’t recover any-

216
thing. They did notice two pickup trucks pulling trailers departing from the area. At the
time it seemed unimportant and they forgot about it. If only they’d known at the time.

I have a mental outline and hard copy and even I’m confused. Group one, the spies, are
only 155 miles from Mountain Home and equipped to fight a small war. Group two is
spread out from Mountain Home to Gassville to Flippin. The Patriarch of the Arkansas
group had been called by some a Crusty Old Curmudgeon. He’s more patriotic and
more loyal to the Constitution than Thomas Jefferson. He also has a streak of larceny in
his soul and its family first and the rest of humanity second.

My AA sponsor and I have done hundreds of outside panels in prisons, rehab facilities,
etc. Newcomers to AA listen to the old timers stories and come away with the attitude
that they must not be alcoholic because in their entire drinking careers they didn’t do
many of the things the old timer is talking about. Some of us call the phenomena the
yets, as in I haven’t done any of those things, yet. My sponsor is quick to tell that that
YET is an acronym for the words, You’re Eligible Too.

The in-laws were mostly rugged individuals, used to hard work and living in the Ozark
Mountains. If you looked hard enough, you might even find a still. Better not, it was
more than one case of M14’s that fell off the truck. Rumor had it that one of the older
generation had a job with the manufacturer and when he heard that McNamara had or-
dered them destroyed, he volunteered to hep out. But you know how rumors are, right?

Dodge called the color Flame Red. The model was the RAM 3500 Club Cab. It had a
5.9L Cummins Turbo diesel engine. There were dualies on the rear, 6-speed manual
transmission and a sticker that said $40,000. I had them set the winch in the garage for
now and install the CB radio. I also told them that they’d better not scratch anything and
was looking directly at Damon when I said it.

We’d found an unattached 6’x16’ open trailer in our looking around and it looked so
lonely, I gave it a new home. I checked the Dodge’s window sticker and it had the tow-
ing package. I wanted one of those 98-gallon truck box cross-bed fuel tanks, but I didn’t
know where I could get one. When everything was ready, we took off from Camdenton
in my Flame Red Dodge Cummins Turbo RAM Club Cab Long bed pickup. I was getting
used to the color and had a pair of sunglasses. The dealer had 3 delivery trucks, each
holding 3,000-gallons. I was wishing that Ron was here, he was the propane guy, until I
remembered to be careful what I wished for because God had a sense of humor.

We filled the delivery trucks and sent one to Gassville and two to my house. I told Da-
vid’s boys to park the trucks and we’d transfer the propane when we got there. There
were signs of life, but the people seemed reluctant to show themselves. We had what
we came for so we went home to Mountain Home. I suggested that Damon and Derek

217
go to Gassville, refill his propane tank and bring the truck back to my house. We had to
make a second trip and refill the propane trucks, top off my tanks and hang on to the
delivery trucks for future needs.

I had started an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of what we’d borrowed in case we ever
had the means to repay the people we’d borrowed it from. They’d probably print it out
and use it a state exhibit #1 at my trial. I named the file Operation Salvage. We weren’t
confronting people, so far, so it amounted to burglary at most. I rather suspected that
we weren’t the only ones doing it and I had always taken the position in my stories that
the first thing people would do when the balloon went up was scavenge/salvage. It
amounted to a redistribution of assets from those as had them to them that needed
them. Perfectly logical and rational, totally illegal. That’s why I’d made the last minute
effort to get some gold and silver, I was willing to pay, at least until I ran out of gold and
silver.

It was a nasty winter, every bit as bad as the winter of 2005-2006 when all the ash was
in the air. No outside electricity, no phones consequently no internet, you get the idea.
We put the LP jets in the hot water heater, furnace, dryer and kitchen stove. I’d fudged a
little and the 2 3,300-gallon propane tanks had been filled to 3,100-gallons, giving me
7,100-gallons available and another 6,000-gallons in the two delivery trucks. Maybe I
should add propane to my list of things you never can have too much of. The Kohler
generator was a nice unit, but it was industrial and never intended for people who didn’t
have a corporation’s checkbook to pay for the natural gas or propane.

Our home, BTW, had a 200-amp electrical panel, not the standard 100-amp panel most
homes had. At least it did after they installed a new 200-amp panel in my basement the
week we moved in. The electrician wanted to know if I was putting in a welder and I told
him that no, but I didn’t like stumbling around in the dark resetting breakers and he’d
better make sure everything was on its own circuit. We ran the air conditioner 24/7 right
after we moved in because Sharon didn’t like the humidity. It made her grouchy. The
good news was that now she was mostly mad at the Red Chinese. I told the boys to
keep their eyes open for one of those fancy long-armed quilting machines. Whether or
not it was a necessity was strictly dependent on one’s point of view. I considered it to be
an essential, especially now that she was mad at everyone.

Having Amy, Lorrie, David and 7 grandchildren in the house was a taxing experience. I
know a little about taxes so I took the girls aside and explained the facts of life. They
were one hell of a lot younger than we were and the first time I heard Sharon complain-
ing about a sink full of dirty dishes, the rug needing vacuuming, etc. they’d be sleeping
in a snow bank. I went on to explain that they were getting what amounted to a free ride
and by God they’d help out, or else. There must have been something in my tone…

With 2 TV’s, one in the basement and one in the living room, we ran Disney stuff and
the like for the younger kids in the basement and action movies for the older kids in the

218
living room. Our only contact with the outside world was the AM/FM radio and the CB
radio net we had set up. I was livid that I’d overlooked getting ham equipment. Hells
Bells, I even had the license, KD6GDQ. What really frightened me was the prospect that
even if we could find ham equipment, it would be useless because of EMP. I made a list
of HRO and AES outlets around the county. All of them were in fairly large cities and I
assumed those cities had been nuked. I knew what I wanted, a Kenwood TS-2000. If I
had one of those and a couple of verticals, I could talk to the world.

HRO had stores in: Anaheim, Atlanta, Burbank, Denver, Newcastle, Oakland, Phoenix,
Portland, San Diego, Salem, Sunnyvale and Woodbridge. AES had stores in: Cleve-
land, Las Vegas, Milwaukee and Orlando. I had their catalogs on my computer in the
form of pdf files downloaded from their websites. Plus I had all winter to review, drool
and select what I wanted to put together a real hamshack. The Icom R-8500 was avail-
able as an unblocked receiver to authorized state and federal government agencies.
The Kenwood TS-2000 fit the bill for a single radio with HF, VHF and UHF capabilities.
If I could add a linear amplifier and some very good verticals, I’d be good to go. I had
time to be very selective and to make a list, prioritizing it when I was done.

One of the cousins, a hillbilly not an Indian, had taken Mary’s tri-comp and duplicated it
for everyone’s M14 rifle. As I said, a couple of cases of M14 rifles had fallen off a truck.
The tri-comp was intended for the Garand rifle, but… Anyone thinking of buying one
should send those guys an email and make certain it can be made to work on a M14,
Russ. Or, find out just exactly what it will take to adapt it. The beauty of fiction is that
you can do anything, except flap your arms and fly – but I’m working on it.

“Damon, I have another little job for you.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

“What’s the alternative?”

“A snow bank.”

“As long as you’re explaining it THAT way, what do you want?”

“I want you to do what you’re very good at.”

“Who do you want killed?”

“Yeah, right. I want you to salvage everything on this list. I’ve written down the manufac-
turer’s part numbers and the quantities I need.”

219
“Communications equipment? I figured you have me going to an armory and stealing
cannons or something.”

“Derek, here is your list. You go to the armories and arsenals and steal the cannons and
something.”

“We aren’t going anywhere until the roads are clear, Dad.”

“I didn’t say when, I just said what and how many.”

“What do you want an M107 for?”

“A while.”

“Where is Murfreesboro, Tennessee?”

“The same place it’s always been.”

“Is there anything you don’t have a smart assed answer for?”

“I don’t know, let me think, I’m old you know.”

Spring came, it usually does. Damon stole himself a nice brown Dodge pickup identical
to the one he’d gotten me except for the color. He got a green one for Derek. You could
hear me coming in my flame red pickup, even if the motor wasn’t running. Now I know
why Damon went into the Navy, that boy was just a natural born thief. The only thing
wrong with him was he couldn’t count. He brought back everything on my list and quad-
rupled the quantities. We scouted around Mountain Home and found a couple of homes
where the elderly residents hadn’t made it. We gave them a respectful burial and com-
mandeered the homes for the kids to move into.

I put David and the boys in charge of salving food and other items we needed like ciga-
rettes and toilet paper and things we couldn’t grow or manufacture ourselves. I told
them that robbery was forbidden but all else was open season. I sent Derek to Tennes-
see first. I told him that the rifles weren’t any good without scopes and ammo. The Bar-
rett IMI manufactured ammo was ok, but I wanted some of that Raufoss ammo used by
the military snipers. I have good sons; they do what their told to do, sometimes. It only
made sense to send David to do the salvaging, he was a locksmith.

Maybe I should change my name to Thomas Crown, even if I don’t look like Steve
McQueen or Pierce Brosnan. It’s ok, Sharon doesn’t look like Faye Dunaway or Rene
Russo either, darn it. Given a choice of every woman in the world, including my wife, I
stick with her because at least I know what to expect and she isn’t so demanding. If the
grass is greener on the other side of the fence, so be it. That grass is full of rattle-

220
snakes, barbed wire, rocks and broken glass. You may even find a couple of bouncing
Betties. Generally the worst that can happen if you restrict yourself to looking is a punch
in the eye or mouth. If you trip a bouncing Betty, it is a most unpleasant experience,
take it from the voice of experience.

The garden got planted, the produce raised, canned and put up for the winter. We also
harvested a large amount of firewood and shared it with the 3 communities. You do re-
alize that the common root word for the term community is commune, don’t you? A
commune and a community have very little in common, at least in the old days. But
these are the new days and communities have become enclaves of survivors. We bor-
rowed what we needed if we couldn’t buy it with gold and silver and in the process be-
came accomplished recovery specialists (scavengers), traders and farmers.

It was nice having an M82A1, but they were too darn heavy for an old fart like me to
pick up. Derek did as he was told and limited his choices to the M16A4, M240B, M249,
M2HB and the Mk 19. I didn’t really trust some of the newer technology. I would have
had them add a pintel mount to my wheelchair but it would have made it too front heavy.
I was just as happy with my semi-auto Mini-14 with the folding stock. It was an old
friend.

The rule was to err on the side of caution. Medical treatment was hard to come by. Med-
ical supplies were a little easier with a locksmith in the family. I got stopped once by a
cop who wanted to see my driver’s license.

“Hey Bubba, I don’t have a license.”

“How did you know my name?”

“To be honest, I didn’t, I guessed. Why did you stop me?”

“I jist wanted to take a closer look at ur pickup.”

“Well, Bubba, you can look all you want. It’s stolen you know and despite the fact that
I’ve been driving since I was 15, I don’t have a driver’s license these days.”

“Thet means you aint got no registration neither, right?”

“Right. But, I got me a pistol and full automatic M14 rifle.”

“Yeah, well, so does a lot of peeple round hear. Sum of ‘em fell off’n a truck.”

“I heared. So, you gonna write me a ticket?”

221
“What fer, being honest about being dishonest? Hell no and yu weren’t speedin’ neither.
I jist wanted to see the truck. I saw one jist like it on a lot in Mountain Home.”

“This is probably that truck, Bubba.”

“Thought so… Yu drive careful, here?”

“Yu too, Bubba.”

Guys like Bubba are nice. Right until you given them sass. Never sass any fella wearing
a badge and a gun and named Bubba. Just tell them the truth. They ain’t as dumb as
they look. If you weren’t breaking any traffic laws, they probably just want to look over
your stolen flame red truck. Of course, it heps if’n yu speak the language a little.

“CQ,. CQ, CQ… this is KD6GDQ coming from Mountain Home Arkansas. Anyone on
this channel?”

“Come back KD6GDQ, we have our ears on.”

“Who is we?”

“We don’t have a call sign. We’re in the Lake of the Ozarks area.”

“I need some way of identifying you in case I want to call you back, over.”

“My name is Bruce and I guess you can call me 007.”

“Roger, are you a spy?”

“Retired.”

“10-4, a retired spy. Agency?”

“Uh, 10-4.”

“Do you have a last name Bruce?”

“Jenkins.”

“Where do I know that name from? I know that name. Why do I have Yellowstone push-
ing its way into my head, over?”

“I wrote for the Washington Times.”

222
“How is Mona? That’s her name, right? The lady you met at the motel?”

“You read my article?”

“I was a big fan of the Washington Times. Did you say the Lake of the Ozarks?”

“Osage Beach.”

“How are y’all making out in Osage Beach? We made it through the winter and are
about ready for the next one.”

“Very well, thank you. We had shelters.”

“We did too, Bruce. We’re into salvaging these days and doing a little trading. Do you
folks need anything?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing. What’s your name?”

“Gary Ott. I’m a writer, to, but nothing like a professional writer like you.”

“What do you write?”

“Patriot Fiction.”

“I used to read patriot fiction once in a while. Who published your books?”

“I published online at the Frugal Squirrel website.”

“I don’t remember any authors from Mountain Home.”

“I used to live in Palmdale, California.”

“TOM?”

“Bruce? 10-4.”

“Small world.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I told everyone I was.”

“So, have you emptied out all of the armories and arsenals yet?”

“A few. Been to Murfreesboro.”

223
“And?”

“What you would expect.”

“I have to go TOM. How about same bat time, same bat channel tomorrow?”

“10-4.”

“007 clear.”

“KD6GDQ clear.”

Same world? Nope, I planned it this way. I distinctly remember telling you that I’d find a
way to merge the stories. The only problem was I had to get Damon to steal some radi-
os so I could do it. Cedar Hill, New Mexico is far away from any possible nuclear targets
that if Ron went there, Linda and he should have survived. Birmingham, Alabama on the
other hand might not have fared so well. The majority of drunks are very intelligent. That
was their biggest problem. They assumed that they could think their way out of their
disease. That doesn’t work. What works is letting go and letting God solve your prob-
lem. He can do anything He sets his mind to doing. He also has a sense of humor.

224
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part II – Mountain Home – Chapter 4 – Ruskie Spies

Bruce Jenkins and Gary Ott kept up their conversation into the fall, through the winter
and into 2009. The folks in Osage Beach had their own little salvaging operation going,
but Bruce never mentioned any details. Gary was rather reticent himself when it came
to particulars. The magic word that broke the ice was an acronym: SINgle Channel
Ground and Airborne Radio System (SINCGARS). The world may be made of plastic,
but the language is made up of acronyms. Derek and his assistants found plenty of
SINCGARS radios, but none of them worked, EMP probably.

WASHINGTON – A chilling new detail of US intelligence failures emerged Thursday,

when the Justice Department disclosed that about 20 months before the Sept. 11 at-
tacks, a CIA official had blocked a memo intended to alert the FBI that two known Al
Qaeda operatives had entered the country. The two men were among the 19 hijackers
who crashed airliners into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsyl-
vania.

If the FBI had received the official communiqué from the CIA’s special Osama bin Lad-
en unit when it was ready for transmittal in January 2000, its agents likely could have
tracked down the men, according to US intelligence officials familiar with a newly de-
classified report of the Justice Department’s inspector general. Officials involved in the
case of alleged would-be hijacker Zacarias Moussaoui had attempted to block release
of the report, asserting that it would compromise the outcome of his case. But Inspector
General Glenn A. Fine went to court and won release of the report after deleting the
section on Moussaoui.

Dana Elcar, whose struggle with glaucoma and blindness was written into the character
he was best known for portraying – Peter Thornton on ABC’s MacGyver – has died. He
was 77.

In a recent National Review Online column in which Lawrence Kudlow was forced to
acknowledge the higher incomes enjoyed by the super-rich, Kudlow fired off the follow-
ing sarcastic ripostes to a New York Times article by reporter David Cay Johnston on
the rich: “How dare they be successful earners and investors”; “Should we go out and
shoot these 145,000 [taxpayers] for their success?”; and “Germans have an ‘equality
sickness’ that makes them dependent on the welfare state. Is that what David Cay
Johnston has in mind for America?”

Speaking as a member of the liberal media, I can answer the last question very certain-
ly: Yes, yes it is. If you walk in any newsroom in America, you will find reporters whis-
pering to each other in German, humming “Deutschland Uber Alles” and scheming to

225
install somebody of Teutonic stock in the White House. (Making Arnold Schwarzeneg-
ger governor was just the first step in this plot. Shhh.)

Dumb Moves Department:

President Bush yesterday called on Congress to renew provisions of the USA Patriot
Act that expire at the end of the year and defied critics to document a single case of
abuse under the law.

A Senate committee this week voted to give the FBI new subpoena powers without prior
approval from a court – the latest step as Congress evaluates the USA Patriot Act that
passed in 2001 and moves to extend 16 provisions due to expire at the end of this year.

Let’s Not Hurry Department:

But in the midst of the heated meeting, Sen. Charles E. Schumer, New York Democrat
and panel member, charged in and complained that Federal District Judge Terrence W.
Boyle, who was nominated more than four years ago to the 4th US Circuit Court of Ap-
peals, was being rushed through the committee.

Rushed? RUSHED? Jesus H. Christ, Chuckie, you guys have had FOUR FRIGIN’
YEARS!!! I’m voting for Hillary and Hanoi Jane. The mentality of politicians never ceas-
es to amaze me. At least Hillary and Hanoi Jane won’t go starting any more dang wars.
Besides, we need our troops home to clean up after the Chinese nuke us.

Do you think Bubba jokes will every replace Polish jokes? Let me tell you why not. A
Bubba joke is about us. How many people do you know who can say, my friend Bubba?
One whole hell of a lot, that’s how many. I have a friend in AA who goes by Bubba. Be-
lieve it or not, my friend is a good ole boy from Texas. He says that my filthy straw
western hat has character. My friend Bubba is far from stupid. He has a lot of years, too.
Bubba is a stereotype, nothing more. There ARE the Bubbas in this world, but they
aren’t all named Bubba. Some of them are even named Tom.

Would I really raid armories and arsenals? You bet your sweet bippy I would. I’d do it
before the people got organized enough to protect them, too. That’s why I have a
sledgehammer in my shed. You aren’t likely to find any ammo in most armories, but if
you can get the weapons, Wal-Mart sells ammo. So do gun stores. Sandy Storm, that’s
her name, doesn’t sell anything that isn’t 100% legal in California – sorry to disappoint
you. Her store is called High Desert Storm, sort of catchy. Don’t take the M16 with the
M203 attached if you have a choice because you aren’t likely to find 40mm grenades
anywhere you shop.

If you do take the M203, take it off until you find some grenades to fit it. It can’t be that
hard to dismount and remount the dang thing. Copy the field manual for the M16 rifle

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from Global Security if you need to. The html files are: FM 3-22.9 (M16) and FM 3-22.31
(M203). Complete removal of the M203 is an armory procedure, but you can remove
most of it. According to the Army Field Manual.

The M14K is an interesting development of the US commercial made M14 type rifle. In
the late 1980s, Smith Enterprise developed the engineering and produced a small num-
ber of these rifles. They are pre-86 ban select fire M14 type rifles modified with a M60
machinegun type gas system. The M14K was marketed by Tim LaFrance. The reports
are that the rifle was very controllable in full automatic fire.

Under the title Integrated Power, their new booklet is presented as a national security
strategy for US progressives that integrates our country’s military, economic and diplo-
matic powers, and rejects the failed Bush administration approach that has weakened
the armed forces, drained the Treasury and severely damaged our global influence.

The Bush administration will not be able easily to dismiss this as soft and fuzzy Demo-
cratic thinking. Korb and Boorstin call for expanding the woefully overstretched US Army
by 86,000 troops, threaten to stop the $3 billion in aid to Pakistan until its government
provides full access to the top nuclear smuggler A. Q. Khan, and say the United States
has to be prepared to be ruthless in the war on terror with more nimble use of deadly
force.

What is smart – and different – about the strategy is that it sees the Department of
Homeland Security (Insecurity?) and the State Department, the Commerce Department
and the CIA, the Pentagon and the FBI, the Treasury and the US Trade Representa-
tive’s office as parts of a single whole that need to be singing in harmony rather than
trying to shout one another down as they vie for their share of the budget. They can’t do
that because it makes too much sense.

[rant] The way it works is I write something and then go watch TV. Later, I read the
news online, sometimes. And, sometimes I find something to back up something I just
said, such as, “I’m voting for Hillary and Hanoi Jane.” Not in THIS lifetime, I’m not. How-
ever, when in doubt, there is no doubt, I simply vote Republican. I don’t really care
whom you vote for so long as you vote, because if you don’t, what you think and say
doesn’t mean squat. I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and
to the Democracy for which it stands. Yeah, right.

My vote for the worst President in history: The worst President in history is whoever
sends my kid to Iraq and gets him killed. Zelda, make a note. Mickey Spillane was on
TV a few times. He looks more like Mike Hammer than any actor who played the part. In
the 1963 production The Girl Hunters Spillane, played his creation, Mike Hammer (one
of the only occasions in film history in which an author of a popular literary hero has por-

227
trayed his own character). I’m actually a softie. Tough guys get killed too early... I’ve got
a full head of hair and don’t wear eyeglasses. – Mickey Spillane, 2004.

Volunteering runs in the family. My old man volunteered for the Army Air Corps during
WW II. He was 4F. I joined the Air Force in ‘61 and later volunteered to go to Vietnam. I
had one of those million dollar educations and my AFSC (MOS) was too critical. I was
probably doing a geographic*. My oldest boy volunteered for the Navy and it kept him
from going to jail. My youngest son volunteered for the Army and went to Korea. It was
sort of like eating peanuts and he’s also been to Kosovo and volunteered to go to Iraq.
He wasn’t listening when his training sergeant said, Never Volunteer. I told him what my
sergeant told me in basic but he won’t listen. Our family had its hero during Vietnam and
his name is on The Wall. One family hero per lifetime is enough for me. The Iraqi insur-
gents even destroyed an Abrams tank with an IED made out of 3 155mm artillery shells.

*Alcoholics do what is called a geographic. In plain English that means he or she

moves. Once he or she has made a big enough mess of his or her life in one place, they
move to a new place and start over. I’ve moved a lot of times, but it didn’t help – the
drunk always came along. If you can drink a cold beer and it doesn’t bother you, I envy
you. If you can’t and you’re still trying, get help. AA doesn’t have any dues, but they ask
for contributions. A buck a day is far less than most drunks spend on booze. AA really
works – if you let it. I’m no more ashamed of being an alcoholic than I am of being a di-
abetic, which was probably caused by my being an alcoholic. The AMA said that alco-
holism was a disease in 1956. I partially disagree; I think it is a personality disorder.
Personality disorders can’t be cured, but they can be held in check. It is also a genetic
disorder pertaining to how your body metabolizes alcohol. [/rant]

Back to the subject at hand…

Which is trying to survive after the end of the world. We bought what we could buy and
took what we couldn’t. Flame Red? That Bruce seemed like a nice enough fella and I
visited with him a lot. I happened to mention in the spring or summer of 2009 that we
hadn’t been able to find any SINCGARS radios that worked. He asked me how many
we needed. I asked him how many did he have. He told me more than we’d ever want.
It seems that they had access to some caches of government equipment and one of the
caches, the third one, had a truckload of SINCGARS radios. I asked him where Osage
Beach was and he told me that Osage Beach was the same place it had always been. I
warmed to him immediately. I also made arrangements to drive to Osage Beach, if I
could find it on a map.

“Bruce?”

“Gary?”

“Funny, you don’t look like a spy.”

228
“What does a spy look like, Gary?”

“Sean Connery?”

“Sorry.”

“How much for the SINCGARS radios?”

“How much do you have?”

“About 25,000 rounds, mostly 7.62×51mm.”

“Do you need more ammo too?”

“You can never have too much ammo or toilet paper.”

“How much toilet paper do you need?”

“Is it Ultra Charmin quadruple rolls?”

“Sorry, Scott commercial.”

“We have plenty, but thank you.”

“Do you have any Mk 211 rounds?”

“Yep.”

“How about 40mm grenades for the M203’s and Mk19s?”

“Yep.”

“We can trade.”

“What do you have to trade?”

“A truckload of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee sippin’ whiskey that we picked up when we

went to Tennessee.”

“A lifetime supply?”

“Not for any drunk I ever knew, no. It’s sort of like 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the
ocean, a good start.”

“What else do you have?”

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“Not much. What do you need?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ve got plenty of nothing…”

“You can’t sing; don’t give up your day job.”

“Do you have any MRE’s?”

“We have lots of HDR’s”

“What’s an HDR?”

“A vegetarian Meal Refused by Ethiopians.”

“We’ll take some of those, too.”

“Well, unload that truck of booze.”

“We’ll just leave it. The truck is stolen anyway. Say, did you ever meet Bubba?”

“Bubba who?”

“Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.”

“How many radios do you need?”

“Two base stations plus, hey Damon, how many pickups have you stolen?’”

We made it work, somehow. We were doing fine until some guy named Arkady walked
up. I yanked out my M1911 and slid off the safety.

“Watch it fellas, this here guy’s a Ruskie!”

“So is my friend Vasily,” Arkady said.

“We’ve been invaded!” I yelled.

“So are our wives, Tanya and Sasha,” he continued.

“Very charming,” I said.

“How did you know they went to Mrs. Ivanova’s Charm School, are you a spy too?”

230
“Very Charming,” I repeated. “What are you doing in the United States after World War
III?”

“We work part-time for the CIA, sort of. It wasn’t the Russians; it was the Chinese.”

“Really? I knew that all of the time, I wrote the story.”

“What story?”

“Never mind.”

Jack and Bruce, Arkady and Vasily gave us everything we wanted, in exchange for a
truckload of Jack Daniel’s. We told them we could get more. They said that they weren’t
alcoholics and the Russians preferred vodka anyway. I told them we could always get a
truckload of vodka. Arkady asked if that was all we could get. We shouldn’t have taken
those HDR’s. Yuck! No wonder people hated the United States, they would probably
rather starve than eat the HDR’s. Maybe that’s why the government had so many
stored; they couldn’t give them away…

WASHINGTON, June 11 – Under pressure from the White House, the Federal Bureau
of Investigation has agreed to adopt the recommendations of a presidential commission
and will allow the director of national intelligence, John D. Negroponte, to help choose a
powerful intelligence chief at the FBI, Bush administration officials say. The intelligence
chief, who will be chosen jointly by Mr. Negroponte and the director of the FBI, Robert
S. Mueller III, would have the tentative title of associate director for intelligence and in
effect be the third-ranking official at the bureau. The FBI’s acceptance of the new pro-
posals represents a recognition within the bureau that it can no longer resist mounting
pressures for change, after a series of scathing reports that have criticized it for intelli-
gence lapses. Yeah, right.

After that, we went to Osage Beach every once in a while. We got the Ruskies a truck-
load of vodka and assured them that there was more where that came from. What it
was, was the fermented and distilled Jack Daniel’s alcohol before it went into the barrels
to age, about 130 proof. It didn’t taste right what with it not being in a Mason jar and all,
or so I was told. Mary’s cousin, Bubba, said he’d made better shine. Her cousin had a
badge and a gun so I didn’t argue with him. The rule about not giving Bubba any lip is
always true if he is packing a star and a gun. It’s called a Universal Truth. In my entire
life I’ve only met 2 men who had Polish jokes down very good. They both had Polish
last names. Maybe the Poles invented the second Universal Truth, “If you can’t beat
‘em, join ‘em.”

Nah, it was the French. Maybe the French won WW III. That could have happened, they
didn’t participate. France has never been the same since Napoleon beat his bone apart.
The French invented perfume because they were allergic to water.

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°

PHILADELPHIA, Miss. Jun 11, 2005 – Hicks. Rednecks. Racists. People who live in this
town of 7,300 have heard the epithets slung their way for decades.

And many black and white cringe as they anticipate how the world will view their town
when reputed Ku Klux Klansman and part-time preacher Edgar Ray Killen goes on trial
Monday in the 1964 murders of three civil rights workers. Killen, now 80, is the only per-
son ever indicted on murder charges in the notorious case that was depicted in the
1988 movie Mississippi Burning.

Arlene pounds Gulf Coast – 97 dead in China – 23 die in Iraq – … canceling at least
$40 billion worth of debt… Now we can lend them more. Why all the fuss over illegal al-
iens if you are just going to turn around and give them amnesty, again? Why DO we
have borders? It only inconveniences them, anyway. Maybe I’d better turn French and
take a class in Spanish. It AIN’T funny.

The chairman of the board of Amnesty International USA refused yesterday to retract
the group’s statement that the US detention facility in Cuba is the gulag of our time, in-
stead telling a congressional panel the United States is to blame for an increase in ter-
rorism. – Hey Jack and Bruce we have another job for you, in England, we’ll blame this
one on the French.

One doesn’t need to be able to write to write; one just needs to be able to read and
have a sense of humor. I wonder how much generators cost in Florida right about now.
Could you find one? Well, don’t buy one BEFORE the storm… You might actually find
one and be able to afford it, then. And then, you’d just have to buy gas that didn’t get
you anywhere. I’d have bought the 6kw unit, not the 3kw unit, if it were me. Then I could
buy a lot more gas that didn’t get me anywhere. Why don’t you just permanently install
the boards on hinges? They call them shutters… and it wouldn’t take so long.

I’m going to Florida and buy me some used plywood. They must sell it after every storm
because there’s always a line at the lumberyard when the next storm comes. Duh. Store
the plywood in your garage and park your car on the driveway. You can call it your
parkway. Why DO they call them parkways? All of the cars I’ve ever seen on a parkway
aren’t parked, they’re going 5 miles over and Bubba is chasing them. Hey, Bubba, did
you know that in some states the flashing Red lights are Red and not Blue? No, Bubba,
I don’t have a clip that will fit your revolver; but I can order one.

What I couldn’t figure out was why all of the packages of heirloom seeds we brought
from Walton Feed contained zucchini. Not everyone in the world likes zucchini or sum-
mer squash. Cucumbers are only good for two things: making pickles and making
boats. When I was on the farm back in the late ‘40’s and early ‘50’s, my mom always

232
used to let us make boats out of the cucumbers that were too big for pickles. 50 years? I
wanted to go to sleep and not wake up tomorrow, have you read the news lately? Oh,
that’s right; I read the news and put it in my stories so that you don’t have to, right? It
ain’t good… Think of it as a time capsule. The Jackson jury took the weekend off so
they could watch his brothers on Larry King Live. Why didn’t Michael just tell them it was
a sock in his pants, it worked for Dom DeLuise (Melvin P Thorpe). He’s still alive and
weighs about 900 pounds. He’d better stop eating his own cooking. He did, he died at
age 75. He was hospitalized at the time, suffering from kidney failure and respiratory
problems due to complications from diabetes and high blood pressure.

POZA RICA, México – The thieves are nothing if not brazen, backing their tanker trucks
right up to refinery terminals and hauling away thousands of gallons of gasoline at a
time. They mix the good gas with junk additives, including solvents and used motor oil,
and then sell the adulterated brew as diesel or gasoline to service station owners across
México, who pass it on to unsuspecting motorists.

The government of President Vicente Fox acknowledged the problems and last year
sent army and police units to guard Pemex installations. The vigilance resulted in an
11% increase in the company’s refining production for the rest of 2004, Pemex execu-
tive Juan Bueno Torio told reporters. – Then, why did they pull the guards? I know why;
they sent the guards to the borders to help the illegal immigrants get under the fence.

Pemex officials, including former director Raul Munoz Leos, have acknowledged that
the scale of the theft and adulteration was possible only with the complicity of Pemex
employees. One former Pemex executive said that beyond outright thievery, the contra-
band fuel rackets also take advantage of Pemex subsidies – discounts on fuel that are
given to agriculture, fisheries and shipping firms on the assumption that those industries
create jobs and exports. “The problem is that these people don’t use fuel for what they
say and sell it back to market for a premium,” the former executive said.

Why don’t they just give the illegal aliens jobs in México guarding the Pemex refineries?

Australia is looking better all of the time. Crocodile Dundee had a rifle and a knife, so
their weapons laws can’t be too severe. They most certainly can’t be as bad as the
People’s Republik of Kalifornia.

[Dundee is threatened by a mugger with a switchblade]

“Mick, give him your wallet.”
“What for?”
“He’s got a knife.”
[Chuckling] ‘THAT’S not a knife.”
[Dundee draws a large Bowie knife]

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“That’s a knife.’
[Dundee slashes the teen mugger’s jacket. He and his friends run away]

Paul Hogan divorced his wife of 28-years and married his co-star Linda Kozlowski. The
last movie she was in was Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. It sold 10 tickets. They’re
still married. Hogan got his start in Australian television in a recurring role as comic re-
lief on A Current Affair. I wonder what THAT means? Read… they still teach reading in
school, don’t they? Not, it would seem, in the People’s Republik of Kalifornia. In Kalifor-
nia they teach Ghetto Tactics 101. Ok, I won’t give up my day job – I’m disabled, can’t
you tell? I just tripped and spilt my coffee all over my computer table and ruined the last
cigarette I’d taken out of the previous pack and laid on the table. Life’s a bitch and then,
you die… hopefully.

The bad news is that some people don’t know when to quit. The good news is that
sometimes they figure it out.

[This is what really happened as opposed to what I told you happened. Sometimes I lie.]

234
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part III – Flippin – Chapter 1 – What Really Happened

What is the best MBR? M1A, FAL, HK91, BM59 or something else? It is whatever you
can shoot very well, preferably in .30 caliber, either the .30-06 or the 7.62×51mm NATO
round. The downside of a MBR is the weight – of the weapon and the ammo. They’re
just short of 4’ long, pretty difficult to manage when you’re in a wheelchair. During Vi-
etnam, the US went to the .223, aka 5.56×45mm NATO, round. After a few false starts,
they got a rifle that worked the M16A1 rifle. Lighter rifle, shorter barrel and the ammo
didn’t weigh as much and was only 40” long. A new term came into our vocabulary –
spray and pray. The M16 was good to a max of 300-meters. It must mean that war was
getting up close and personal.

The M4 Carbine was similar in design and functioning to the M16 family of rifles, there-
by greatly simplifying training, supply, and maintenance. Compared to the M16A2 rifle,
the M4 Carbine was 1.3 pounds lighter, 6⅝” shorter with buttstock extended, and almost
10 inches shorter with the buttstock collapsed. That piece of pipe you attached under-
neath to launch 40mm grenades cost more that the rifle. In tandem, the M16A4 with a
M203 ran maybe $1,200-$1,300 to the government. A1 = full auto, A2 = 3-round burst,
A3 = full auto, A4 = 3 round burst, M4 = 3 round burst and M4A1 = full auto. With the
M4, we ended up with a 30” rifle that, loaded, weighed 7½ pounds without the M203.
The barrel was very short, making the velocity of the ammo fall dramatically. If it was
underpowered in the first place, what did we have now? That’s probably why it was the
spray and pray model.

On July 1, 2009, the US Army took complete ownership of the M4 design. This will allow
companies besides Colt to compete with their own M4 designs. The Army planned on
fielding the last of its M4 requirement in 2010. On October 30, 2009, Army weapons of-
ficials proposed a series of changes to the M4 to Congress. Requested changes include
an electronic round counter that records the number of shots fired, a heavier barrel, and
replacing the direct impingement system with a gas piston system. As of September
2010 the Army has announced they will buy 12,000 M4A1s from Colt Firearms by the
end of 2010 and will by early 2011 order 25,000 more M4A1s. The Army announced al-
so to have open competition for the newly designed M4 bolt carrier and gas piston op-
eration system, which will be fitted to the newly bought M4A1 carbines. The service
branch plans to buy 12,000 of these conversion kits in early 2011. In late 2011 the Army
plans to buy 65,000 more conversion kits. From there the Army will decide if it will up-
grade all of its M4s

The better choice was the .30 MBR in any variation that could make effective use of full
auto as the situation required. The gun laws in the US weren’t very reassuring, the US
Supreme Court, the Congress and the Executive Branch couldn’t read – the Constitu-
tion. What is there to interpret about, “…the right of the people to keep and bear arms
shall not be infringed?” It was so bad in some states, e.g., the People’s Republik of Kali-
fornia, that weapons were banned on the basis of what they looked like. And you
thought that New York’s Sullivan Law was bad. Kalifornia might have been late coming

235
around, but when they did, they went crazy. Hundreds of gun stores in Los Angeles
closed.

Kalifornia banned magazines with a capacity of more than 10-rounds. If you needed 10-
rounds to kill a deer, you shouldn’t be hunting. What Kalifornia was really banning was
the people’s right to keep and bear arms, of their personal choice. It made the 15-round
USGI standard issue M1 carbine magazines illegal. What a deal! Who needs an Assault
Rifle anyway? Do you need to protect yourself from a charging deer? A .50 caliber rifle
is too big of a bullet and only criminals would want such a weapon. Criminals preferred
the 9mm auto and the AK-47, don’t hand me that crap.

You know me, right? I’m just your average 62-year-old WMA, Methodist and Patron
Member of the NRA. I have 4 children and 10 grandchildren. I’ve got a few minor health
issues and I have a battery-powered wheelchair with the joystick thing. I don’t use a
cane, a walker or the wheelchair, but I have one of each. I like booze but don’t drink. I
like cigarettes too, very unpopular in 2005. The wife is busy cleaning and reorganizing; I
hope we’re getting ready to move – out of Kalifornia. Lately I’ve become enamored with
the idea of moving to Arkansas. They say the housing bubble is about to burst; we’d
better sell now.

For recreation, I write Patriot Fiction Stories. They sure don’t build keyboards the way
they used to, but at $10 each, I can buy a new one occasionally. I really should put my
spare 60Gb drive in my computer and backup my HDD before it takes a dump. I could
burn the important files to a CD, if the drive worked. Life’s a bitch and then you die –
hopefully.

What if…

“It’s hot.”

“It’s not hot, that’s the humidity.”

“Why are we renting instead of buying?”

“I’m waiting for the housing bubble to burst.”

“Then what?”

“Then we’ll buy a home that some bank forecloses on and give it a paint job.”

“I want a 3-bedroom house so I can have a sewing room and we have a guest bed-
room.”

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“The only problem with a guest bedroom is that we never get any guests, except Shirley
Ann. Whatever, fine, I want a big basement.”

“I don’t want to walk up and down stairs with laundry.”

“Neither do I. We’ll put the washer and dryer on the first floor, not in the basement. The
basement is all mine. I’m only willing to share it with the furnace and hot water heater.”

“What are you going to do with a basement?”

“I’ll start off by insulating the ceiling. Next, I’ll lower the ceiling and fill the space with at
least 14” of concrete. After that, I’ll get Bubba to make me a 1½” thick basement door.”

“Bubba who?”

“I don’t know. Isn’t everyone down here named Bubba?”

“Y’all need to learn to speak their language, Gary.”

“It sounds to me like you’ve started without me, Sharon.”

“It’s hot and humid.”

“What’s the difference? We rarely leave the house anyway. I haven’t been out of the
house since we moved in.”

“You ought to get a driver’s license.”

“What for? We only have one car.”

“I thought you wanted to move to Mountain Home.”

“Too many people. Flippin is perfect.”

“How would you know, you never leave the house.”

“Now you’re being picky.”

“Mary said there was a house on the market in Gassville.”

“We can’t go there; they eat beans.”

“How do you know?”

“Where do you think the gas comes from?”

237
“It’s hot.”

“You’re repeating yourself, again. Turn the air a little lower and I’ll put on a sweater.”

We bought a nice home from the bank in Flippin. It had 4 bedrooms, 2¾ baths and a full
basement. I had to get out of the house to move. I drove my wheelchair to our new
home. On the way, a Deputy stopped me for speeding, I guess.

“Hey Bubba, what’s up?”

“Do you have a driver’s license for a wheelchair?”

“I thought that they only required those in Kalifornia.”

“Pretty fancy rig, what’ll she do?”

“Maybe 6mph.”

“What’s with the scabbard? Do you have an Assault Rifle?”

“I could only afford the scabbard.”

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Where are you coming from?”

“Home.”

“You a Yankee?”

“No, I’m a Dodgers fan.”

“You’re one them Yankee smartasses, aren’t you?”

“No sir, I’m a Dodger smartass. Hey Bubba, give me a break, I need to get to our new
home and take my insulin.”

“You sure it is insulin and not something else?”

“All of the bruises are on my belly, here look at my arms.”

238
“You drive careful, hear?”

“Yessir, Bubba.”

“The name is John, Yankee.”

“Are you related to the Yankees from up in Missouri?”

“Brown. Deputy John Brown.”

“John Brown is a mighty strange name for a southern boy to have.”

“Tell me about it. Bye.”

“Y’all take care, Bubba, hear?”

I was learning the language, albeit slowly. So far I had learned 3 words: Bubba, y’all and
hear. That new used house had a full basement. I lugged a kitchen chair to the base-
ment and just sat there trying to figure out where to start. I obviously needed a ramset
so I could attach 2x8’s to the walls, leaving about 15½” between the top of the boards
and the upstairs floor. There was a floor drain and a shower off in one corner and, a
deep sink with hot and cold running water. There was a utility closet upstairs so I had
the whole basement to myself.

Rather than rent a ramset, I bought a cheap one. Well, relatively cheap. It was cheap,
but not inexpensive. I got some wood and made forms and poured the basement win-
dows full of concrete, all except one, which I wanted to use for the inlets and outlets.
The house had its own septic system but was connected to city water. I needed a well,
first thing. I needed a huge propane tank second thing. I needed a million dollars, but
that wasn’t going to happen, unless I won the lottery. I didn’t buy tickets, so I didn’t think
that would happen soon.

I had 2 firearms, a Nazi .32 auto and a .22LR Saturday Night Special with 2 magazines
for each. I wanted a standby residential generator that ran on propane and enough pro-
pane to run it at full load for 120 days. I bought an Onan RS 30000 because the engine
operated at 1,800rpm. I had that set in the basement and the 200-amp automatic trans-
fer panel installed. The salesman had said that as a fulltime system, I could get by with
a 200-amp setup. I got Sharon to hold the 2x4’s while I ramset them to the walls.

120 days times 24 hours equals 2,880 hours. At full capacity, the RS 30000 would burn
4.2 gallons per hour. 2,880 times 4.2 equals 12,096-gallons of propane. I needed a
15,000-gallon propane tank. Figure a 90% fill, I’d have 13,500-gallons of propane,
enough for 134 days. You could buy a car for what it would cost to fill a 15,000-gallon
tank and the car lasted longer. Used is good, just as long as you can get the safety re-
lief valve replaced. I got lucky. I had them put 1,000-gallons of propane in the tank and
hooked up my new RS 30000. I thought about it some and switched all of our applianc-

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es to propane from natural gas. I had to have a plumber do the furnace and hot water
heater, so I’m glad I didn’t wait. Sears switched the stove and dryer. They charged for 2
service calls and 2 conversions. It didn’t take very long at all.

Sharon wanted a Sears 25ft³ chest freezer and I rented her space in my basement. I
took down the 2x4’s from the wall and moved them down 7½”, I’d forgotten about the
cross thingies to support the OSB. I bought enough of the adjustable steel posts so I
could support all of those solid concrete blocks. I figured it would take 2 rows of posts. I
was going to put in two layers of ¾” OSB, I ended up with 2 layers of OSB at $12 a
sheet. The guy at the store said it would work. I laminated the sheets with contractor’s
cement.

One 4’x8’x¾” sheet of OSB is heavy; try lifting 2 at once sometime. And, I already have
the hernia. I built a mold so I could make my own solid concrete blocks. I made them in
the yard and slid them through the basement window I left open. And stacked them. I
started at the other end of the basement and by the time spring of 2006 came, I had me
a genuine bomb shelter with a standby generator and 3,000-gallons of propane. I got
Bob, not Bubba, to make me the shelter door. I left an open space in the lid, by the win-
dow, until I had everything figured out and hooked up. I found every muscle I never
knew I had, and every last one of them hurt, all of the time.

I mounted a ¾” steel plate on the inside of that window with holes for the generator air
intake and exhaust plus another hole for the propane line and yet another for an air in-
take and exhaust pipes of some kind. Then, I used a form and filled in the window with
some Quikrete. I bought a pair of used 3 bar blast valves for the 6” air pipes for the
generator and the air filtration system. After I finished running pipes, I finished off the lid.
Utah Shelter Systems wanted $6 grand for a LUWA air filtration system. I told them that
I needed to see the plans for the system before I could let loose of that kind of money. I
copied the plans and sent them back with a note saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

I found an industrial Portable Extractor Fume 750, with no arm assembly, which includ-
ed a pre-filter, and 99% HEPA. The unit was used for attaching a hard central duct sys-
tem and cost $3,000. I bought the optional 3rd carbon filter and one set of spare filters.
It was cheap at half the price of the LUWA system. I was getting there, but all I had for
food was beans and rice. I had a well but no guns and ammo. Guns won’t do you one
dang bit of good if you’re dead to begin with; it was simply a matter of priorities. I put up
a wall and enclosed the air filter and the generator and insulated the walls with R-19 in-
sulation to deaden the sound.

I used a door with acoustic tile cemented in place to absorb the sound that might come
through the door. With the door closed, the noise level was tolerable. Sharon was buy-
ing 1,000-gallons of propane each and every month, slowly getting our tank filled. We
were eating a lot of macaroni and cheese these days; I think maybe she is losing
weight. Once a week, I’d treat her to a steak that she could cook for herself and get it
just the way she liked it. Saturday nights became steak, baked potato and asparagus
night, for her. I got the whole box of macaroni and cheese. It was great.

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°

Hey, nobody ever said that this getting prepared in advance stuff was easy or inexpen-
sive. Think about it. You are buying a lot of things and storing them. It isn’t like a bank
account because they don’t earn interest. You could put your money in the bank to earn
interest, but… where are you going to find what you need when TSHTF? You might
starve to death or die from radiation before you ever get the chance to go scavenging. I
only made the concrete blocks 7”x7”x12”. I hope the guy was right about that OSB and
2x8’s. The OSB was attached to the joists with 3” long screws. I figured it would make it
stronger. I painted the underneath side flat black. It’s a good thing Sharon and I are
short.

By winter of 2006, we had the basement finished and the LP tank filled with 9,000-
gallons of propane. I splurged and had pepper on my macaroni and cheese. Sharon
had a very nice New York Strip. She had planted a garden and canned. She also made
those bread and butter pickles from Gayle’s recipe I like so well. She had 161 quarts of
green beans, 70 quarts of pickles and 1,200 pounds of potatoes from the garden. We
had carrots in a sandbox in my basement, too. She had been working on filling the
freezer, but it was mostly chicken. She’d buy a bunch of chickens when they were on
sale and a pork loin that I would slice into chops and seal in vacuum-packed bags. It
was mostly cheap beef cuts – usually whatever was on sale. We also had a lot of 1-
pound packages of vacuum-packed ground round.

We have about 6 different varieties of beans and several bags of rice that I stacked on a
shelf. I was doing my 6 cartons a month on the Kool’s Super Longs 100’s, thing, too.
She wasn’t happy about the smokes and if she’d have seen in my cabinet, she would
have blown a gasket. I like chili. Hell, I love chili, with beans. You use some pinto beans,
some kidney beans and some paquitos, little pink beans. You add some onion and
ground beef and lots of chili powder. Yum. We also had large and small white beans
and the green beans, making 6 kinds of beans. Beans and my brain get along very well.
Beans and my stomach is another story. We could get 750cfm of filtered air from the air
filter, a very good thing.

We also had 200 pounds of sugar, 600 pounds of flour, jars of yeast, several 6-pound
cans of Crisco, 24 57-ounce cans of coffee and other things, like 180 boxes of macaroni
and cheese. They come 15 boxes to the bundle and we had 12 bundles. I told her to get
more coffee, we drink about a can a week. The previous winter had been mild and that
was a good thing, we turned the heat on to 55 and I wore a sweater and jacket during
the day, inside. I drink too much coffee, but would you rather have me drinking booze?

For variety, we had canned corn, asparagus, diced tomatoes and so forth. Lots of diced
tomatoes and spaghetti sauce, the kind she liked. I bought $500 worth of firewood for
our fireplace, just in case. You would probably find our diet boring, we’re meat, potatoes
and vegetables type of folks. Sharon started baking homemade bread so we could ro-
tate the flour. I could live on beans and goulash. Goulash is made from hamburger, on-

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ions, diced tomatoes (I prefer tomato sauce) and elbow macaroni plus salt and pepper. I
also love pepper steak and it is made using thinly sliced round steak, onions, frozen
pepper strips and brown gravy mix with salt, pepper and soy sauce for seasoning. It’s
served over a bed of white rice. We had about 50 bags of frozen pepper strips in the
freezer. Beans are made from beans, water, salt, pepper and a smoked hock or fresh
hock to please the wife.

Did I forget to mention the rice-a-roni and the pasta-roni? Dozens of boxes of each fla-
vor, enough for 10,000 lifetimes; what can I say – it eats. Don’t forget the coffee filters,
toilet paper, and flashlight batteries. It was nice to finish up in the spring of 2007. Fin-
ished? Not quite, I didn’t have an MBR or a pistol or a shotgun or a .22 rifle or any am-
mo except an extra box of .32Auto. Well, I was good if rabbits attacked, what can I say?
There wasn’t any doubt in my military mind that the Democrats would get elected in
2008 and you’d be lucky to own a BB gun. I saw where somebody had a pair of M1A
rifles for sale for $850 each. I called the guy and he said they weren’t accurate. I figured
that they probably needed new properly fitted stocks. I also noticed that he didn’t do a
good job of cleaning the rifles. I bought them both and the magazines he had for them.
The magazines were the USGI new surplus magazines and he had 2-dozen. They were
extra. I had the rifles restocked and could shoot well within specs after. They were the
standard model M1A from Springfield Armory.

I got a good, used Mossberg 590A1 at a gun store and added a magazine extension.
For Christmas, Sharon bought me a used 9422. I was still looking for a good pistol. I
wanted a .45ACP and she could have the rabbit gun. We were gaining with the garden
because I wasn’t eating pickles or green beans as fast as she was putting them up. We
gave Mary some of the potatoes and ate a lot of potato soup. We had to make sure the
cats didn’t get into the basement because of the sandbox for the carrots.

I loaded up on bricks of .22LR ammo at Wal-Mart and ordered Remington Express

Magnum 00 buckshot and Brenneke slugs from a gun store. This guy could get the
same ammo that Eric the Ammoman had, provided I bought enough. That turned out to
be 10 1,000-round cases of ammo. It was the Lake City overrun stuff, boxed loose. I
told him to keep his eye out for a very good used M1911 .45ACP pistol. Just in case, I
ordered a ten-pack of 7-round M1911 magazines from Eric and bought a case of 230-
grain ball .45ACP.

I was getting close. I was only a pistol, the radiation stuff from Radmeters4U and some
prescriptions away from being ready for the end of the world. I had a heart attack and
died. Not! I’m just plain too mean to die. I ain’t going unless I can take me some China-
men or Ruskies or North Koreans or wetbacks with me. We put up a flagpole and I hung
a Gadsden flag. I had a Confederate Battle Flag put away, just in case. Let me tell you,
that flag got a few comments, most of them good. I declined an offer to join the Klan; I’m
not much of a joiner. I’m now certain that had I flown the Confederate Battle Flag, the
Klan would have insisted.

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The gun store called and he has just the pistol I wanted. I told him to hold it for me be-
cause my wheelchair only went 6mph. Parkerized finish and needed a barrel, good
condition otherwise. I bought it and went looking for a 1911 swivel holster for the .45. I
ended up buying one from El Paso Saddlery for $90. It was the US Cavalry swivel hol-
ster, the “Pershing model”. I got some canvas double magazine pouches for my pistol
belt from a surplus store. I also bought some used ALICE gear and a new GI surplus
barrel and bushing for the M1911.

Derek had survived his trip to Iraq. He was lucky, if he hadn’t, I would have killed him. It
was a whole lot worse than Kosovo, which was a whole lot worse than Korea. I asked if
he’d seen enough of the world yet. Apparently not, he said that if they called, he’d go.
The boy needs to have his head examined; I think he has a death wish. I told him ok,
but only if he took his tank next time. He was now an E-6, BTW. A chest full of cam-
paign ribbons, but no medal medals. That suits me just fine. Heroes get medals, usually
dead heroes and my family already has one dead hero. More, if you count Dennis who
was a medic in Vietnam (MASH Unit). Derek was on his 5th row of ribbons. He said he
was on the fast track to Sergeant First Class.

Derek wanted an SA-58 FAL rifle. I was feeling flush so I bought him one for Christmas
of 2007. I wasn’t short of 7.62×51mm ammo, but I bought him 5 cases anyway. I actual-
ly bought 10 cases, 5 to replace what I’d shot up and 5 for him. I gave him the brass to
reload, if he wanted to. That stinker went out and bought a reloading press and the
whole 9-yards. He had enough powder (large pail), bullets (large box) and primers (sev-
eral small boxes) for the big one. As in if the Ruskies or Chinese bomb the US. If Bush
doesn’t shut his mouth, it’s going to happen, too, mark my words.

Sharon got me the package deal from Radmeters4U for Christmas. I ordered more CD
V-742 dosimeters, KIO3 and a CD V-700 and a CD V-717. I got her that long armed
quilting machine because we finally had a little money to spend and I am very good at
spending money. Derek said the ceiling was too low in the shelter. I told him to put his
head between 2 joists or sit down. I couldn’t wear my cowboy hat in the basement ei-
ther, but hey, you shouldn’t wear a hat indoors. Right?

For my birthday on 3/23/2008, Sharon bought me a Mini-14 rifle with a Butler Creek
folding stock and a flashhider. I immediately rushed out and got some (13) of the 30-
round PMI steel magazines before the elections and the new Assault Weapons Ban.
Come on, invade – I dare you! Bite my tongue. I forgot about God’s sense of humor for
a minute. Ronald is in Cedar Hill, New Mexico living next door to Robert. Clarence
moved back to Birmingham, Alabama and he keeps in touch. Not in town, on a small
farm outside of the city, to the west, I guess.

Sandy Storm got a Winchester model 70 rifle in one day in the .458 Winchester caliber.
Guess who she sold it to? Ronald should move to Africa, he has all of the right guns,
now. He keeps in touch, too. They left Kevin and John in Palmdale when they moved.
He said they hadn’t heard from them in quite a while. Brenda moved back to Ft. Smith,

243
Arkansas and remarried her former hubby, good for her. Amy finished college and is
working for the LA County Sheriff as a dispatcher. I didn’t know it took a college degree
in Criminal Justice to talk on the radio. She loves to talk on the phone so I guess the job
is perfect for her.

If you want to know what the news is, read the paper or go online, I have nothing to say
about the news, except that it stinks. North Korea tested a nuclear weapon. They did it
up by the Chinese border. That was stupid. Ain’t none of my business, I’m ready for
WW III or whatever they’ll call it. They probably call it the 80-minutes War. I figure that
that’s about how long it will take for them to nuke us and us to nuke them. Y’all come on
down to Flippin, if y’all like chili with beans, hear? I got lots. I sure do wish I could figure
out how to put a pintle mount on my wheelchair. But, that would make it front heavy.

The trust fund paid an unexpected dividend and Sharon went out and bought another of
those Sears 25ft³ freezers in July of 2008. Who does she think we’re going to feed, the
whole flippin’ town of Flippin? I got even; I ordered a whole steer butchered plus a hog
and filled that freezer for her. I also bought 50 more bags of pepper slices. Wait a mi-
nute, that’s what she wanted in the first place, dimes to donuts. I went and bought me
another Mini-14 like the first, 20 30-round PMI steel magazines and 5,000-rounds of
SS109 ammo. I got another set of used ALICE gear so I had a set of ALICE gear for
each of my 2 MBRs and the two Mini-14s. Now we’re even.

John Kerry was the nominee of the Democrat Party this year. John McCain wisely de-
clined the Republican nomination. I could have voted for John McCain, but I suppose I’ll
have to vote for whoever the Republican candidate is. I won’t vote for John Band-Aid!
And, you can take that to the bank! Hillary smillary didn’t get the nomination, thank God.
She’s already been President for 8-years. Hanoi Jane ought to run for office, in North
Vietnam. I’d vote for her if she did. That was the smartest thing Ted Turner ever did
other than buying up the MGM library.

I’m frankly very worried; I’m starting to get partial to grits. And I still only speak 3 words
of the southern dialect: y’all, Bubba and hear. Bubba stopped me again and wanted to
know about the Mini-14 in the scabbard. I told him it was a semi-auto. It wasn’t loaded
anyway; the magazines were in my saddlebags. Bubba told me to slow down until I fig-
ured out to steer the wheelchair better. I said, yessir, causin’ Bubba had him a badge
and a gun. Never argue with anyone named Bubba what has a badge AND a gun.

You know about Mary’s people, right? Funny, I’d thought that they’d limp when they
walked on a flat surface. They didn’t, not even her cousin Bubba. That’s the Bubba
without the badge. He has him a gun all right, an M14 rifle what fell off’n a truck, he
says. I don’t believe it for a minute. What are the odds of two cases of M14 rifles falling
off a truck? I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck. No sir, Bubba stole those rifles. I sure wish
he’d sell me one of them. I’d get me a tri-comp and add a pintle mount and use it on my
wheelchair. But, Mary says that Bubba won’t sell me one ‘cause I’m a Yankee.

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part III – Flippin – Chapter 2 – Countdown

It happened on July 31st, local time. I always figured that Bubba was a good guy and I
bought me a tri-comp, just in case. It only cost me $59 plus shipping. Anyway, Bubba
tossed me a brand spanking new M14 rifle with 2 magazines and told me not to hurt
myself with it. I’d also bought some more of the M14 magazines (13), just in case, and
another 5,000-rounds of that 7.62×51mm ammo. I should have run up the Confederate
Battle Flag sooner. Bubba was impressed with my new flag. All of a sudden, I had me a
basement full of people. I had Derek and Mary and their 3 kids. I had Brenda and her
hubby and their kid. I also had Jennifer and Ronnie Joe and their 3 kids. Ronald called
to say that Amy and her 2 kids and David and Lorrie and their 5 kids were at his house.
I should have kept reading the news instead of pouting. It was about 172 miles, give or
take from Fort Smith to Flippin, so I guess everyone must have known what was hap-
pening, except me.

The Chinese were po’d at the United States because good old George had interfered
with their invasion of Taiwan. I should have kept reading CNN, even after I figured out
that Fleataxi was right and that they were the Communist News Network. Not me, no
sir. And I’d have run up the Confederate Battle Flag a whole lot sooner if I’d had known
about Bubba. I had my head stuck so far up my butt that I had absolutely no idea what
was happening about anything. I was out of touch. Yeah right, in the pig’s right eye!
Why do you think I filled the freezer? Why do you think I had the extra ammo and mag-
azines for the M14 rifle?

The wakeup call that had apparently come when Brenda and Jennifer had shown up
with their families and Ron had called and talked to Sharon wasn’t a surprise; I’d lis-
tened in on the phone conversations. Amy and Lorrie had called the previous day and
told their mom everything and she’d told them to head to Ron and Linda’s, pedal to the
metal. I listened in on that phone conversation too. All we were missing was Damon and
his bimbo and his 3 kids. They turned up about an hour after Brenda and Jennifer and
their families. The only surprise was the M14 rifle, but Bubba had given Derek and Mary
2 and I had high hopes. (Frank Sinatra)

I was the prophet of doom most of the time and I appeared not even know that all hell
had broken loose. And that was why I had gone to Wal-Mart the previous day and
bought 25 cartons of Kool’s cigarettes to go with the 25 cartons I already had. The only
real surprise was that Bubba, the deputy, hadn’t stopped me for speeding in my wheel-
chair and that I managed to get 25 cartons of cigarettes home in my wheelchair. The
check I wrote at Wal-Mart had come back approved. The only thing that surprised me at
Wal-Mart was that they had 25 cartons of Kool’s in the first place. If they hadn’t I would
have bought Marlboro’s and a jar of Vicks.

I was only surprised at the M14. Derek had tri-comps on both of his M14’s and they
couldn’t be installed. They lugged the wheelchair down to the basement and set it in
front of my table with my Kenwood TS-2000 and other radios and receivers. I switched
the antenna switches to ground and checked the batteries in my CD V-700, CD V-715

245
and my CD V-717. I didn’t have a SINCGARS radio, but we weren’t out of the shelter
yet and the bombs hadn’t started falling. There wasn’t an armory close to Flippin any-
way, that I knew of. I didn’t say there wasn’t an armory; just that I didn’t know of one. My
sledgehammer was handy and we were ready to begin salvage operations the minute
the radiation level was low enough.

The top thing on my list was a Dodge RAM 3500 with the Cummins turbo diesel engine
and 4WD. If Damon got me Flame Red, I’d kill him. That gun store had a half pallet of
the 7.62×51mm Lake City overruns and the guy assured me that if I bought it all, he’d
take my check on the Iowa bank account. Since the bombs or warheads or whatever
hadn’t started to fall, I wrote a blank check and sent Damon to get it. He was just setting
the last box in the basement when the first flash came from the south. There went Little
Rock, I figured. I gave Damon permission to use the shotgun later and we locked down
and turned the radio to an AM radio station to listen to the end of the world.

In the movie, Fail Safe they told Henry Fonda the phone would melt when the weapon
hit Moscow and melted the Ambassador’s phone. The radio stations in Little Rock gave
off a similar squeal when we saw the flash from the south. It was a very short squeal.
Movies may just be Hollywood hype, but they occasionally get some things right. The
really scary movie was By Dawn’s Early Light (1990) starring Powers Booth, Rebecca
De Mornay, James Earl Jones and Martin Landau; that and The Day After. Sorry, I
started school in 1948 and graduated High School in 1961, and I can’t remember a sin-
gle Duck and Cover exercise. A fat lot of good a desk would do!

Sharon was thawing meat for supper and soaking a pot of great northern beans. We
were actually ready when TSHTF. Well, as ready as one can be in that type of situation.
What made China think that the US would let them attack Taiwan with impunity? Maybe
China figured that with their population of 1.3 billion people, give or take, they would
come out on top. Who knows and who cares?

Body count: Sharon and me (2); Derek, Mary and the kids (5); Damon, the bimbo and
his kids (5); Brenda’s family (3); Jennifer’s family (5); and, Mary’s parents (2) for a total
of 22 people in a basement shelter that was designed for 10. We are sleeping in shifts.
Food, water, etc. wouldn’t be a problem. Propane at 13,500-gallons wouldn’t be a prob-
lem, especially if we kept the electrical usage down. We could maybe go 6 months in
the latter case. Coffee wasn’t a problem because we now had 60 cans, and we could
make it little on the weak side, just in case. I started a diary. I got the idea from another
of the squirrel’s stories. jeber431?

Day One: There is general disbelief that the inevitable happened. Thinking it could and
being prepared were good. Actually believing it would happen wasn’t in the equation.
There is a lot of disbelief and excited talk. I had 1,200 Xanax and passed them out to
everyone except the little kids. They got a movie on the TV. Sharon and the other gals
kept the coffee pot full. No one had much of an appetite. I was hungry, go figure. I put

246
my fancy padlock on the door to the gun cabinet to make certain no one tried to open
the door. Everything was working as planned. The CD V-717 is barely registering radia-
tion so we opened up just long enough to bring the upstairs TV and dual player to the
basement. Now we have a TV for the kids and a second for the adults. The CD V-717
started to record more radiation. I gave everyone a second Xanax after supper and we
all tried to sleep. Many did, but I was used to the Xanax, so I stayed up.

Day Two: Cottage fries, the last of the fresh eggs and milk, toast, cereal for breakfast
and boiled beans and goulash for lunch. Appetites a little better, but not much. Some
soft crying, which everyone is pretending to ignore. No radio stations on the air. But it’s
way too early for that. The phone is dead and I don’t have an Internet connection. I real-
ly hadn’t expected to have one. I was very happy for the Xanax as well, I was handing it
out TID. Not to everyone, people who obviously had a buzz could wait until after supper
for a second pill. No one was going to get more than TID. It was in my desk under lock
and key. I was only taking it QPM and I was used to the stuff and only needed it to
sleep. I was very tired and took a nap in the afternoon, but still needed my pill. The
smaller kids were antsy. I quartered some Xanax for them in case the parents wanted to
give them 125µg. Brenda was the only person to ask for extra Xanax, but I declined to
give her extra. I warned Derek about that very thing before I turned in around 1400. He
now had the key to the gun safe but not to my desk. I left out a few tabs of the quartered
Xanax and 4 of the whole tablets.

I was back up at 2000, the Xanax wore off and it was a little noisy. Sharon had fixed
pepper steak for supper and had saved me some. I ate it cold and liked it just as well. I
took Brenda aside in the generator room and pointed out that I knew her history and if
she didn’t stop pushing for extra Xanax, I’d cut her off completely. From the look on her
face, it appeared that Brenda was going to protest, but after a moment, she nodded and
left the generator room. I had 4 batteries and an inverter. It would power everything long
enough for us to service the Onan RS 15000. I had several cases of oil and enough oil
and air filters to match the volume of oil. I told you I was prepared.

Day Three: Most of the people didn’t want any more of the Xanax. The downside of tak-
ing Xanax can be severe. That suited me just fine; I wasn’t trying to turn the other 21
people into addicts. Even Brenda passed. I locked up the loose pills in my desk and the
subject of Xanax didn’t come up for a while. It was oatmeal with instant milk for break-
fast; the last of the goulash and beans for lunch and Sharon got out both crock-pots and
put in 2 beef roasts, frozen, for supper. She also added an onion to each pot and salt
and pepper. The potatoes and carrots were standing by ready to be peeled. No way
was food going to be a problem, not right now anyway. Today was James Bond Day, I
guess. Amy and Udell had given me a 14 VHS set of the movies for Christmas 2003. I
took my pill at noon and hit the sack at 1400. I slept through dinner but there was a mi-
crowave to reheat it. Derek and I were alternating 12 on and 12 off. Sort of.

I gave Derek a chain with 3 keys on it. The keys were to my desk, my storage cabinet
that held the drugs and cigarettes and the gun safe. In the storage cabinet were my 50
cartons of Kool’s, a dozen cartons of Marlboro’s and the drugs. The Xanax was in the

247
desk and the guns in the gun safe. The pill kicked in and I slept until 2100. I got up, did
the 3 S’s and reheated my dinner. In the basement was a Sears’s stacking washer/dryer
unit. It wasn’t very efficient and didn’t take big loads, but I insisted that everyone shower
once a day and wear clean clothes every day. It was good for morale and it helped keep
the stink of 22 bodies down. I had a separate plastic bag for as many as 25 people.
Each bag contained a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, 3 disposable razors and a stick
of unscented deodorant. There were feminine supplies on one of the shelves, pads and
tampons. I tried anyway.

My drug supplies included Sharon’s and my prescriptions, 300 tablets of Vicodin ES,
100 tablets of Cipro, 100 capsules of Keflex, the 1,200 tablets of Xanax and not much
more. Well, there were 4 IV administration sets and 4 1000-ml bags of saline. My medi-
cal equipment was limited to a trauma first aid kit, a stethoscope, 2 blood pressure
measuring units, a wrist device and a regular cuff with aneroid dial and 3 blood sugar
devices. I had my oxygen machine and a CPAP plus a nebulizer. Not much really. In
order to get an oxygen concentrator that had a potential output of 10 liters, I had to buy
my own. My oxygen Rx was for 2 liters so they wouldn’t rent me a 10-liter machine.

I had syringes with short needles and enough insulin for a year. Ditto on my other pre-
scriptions and Sharon’s. Gunny Highway said improvise, adapt and overcome. It was
pretty hard when you’re depending on a doctor for prescriptions for some of those
things. The 10LPM concentrator ran almost $1,700 including shipping. I had one spare
set of filters for it. My shopping list was growing. It included more antibiotics, morphine,
syringes and needles, a home defibrillator, and any other medicine that stuck my fancy
when we raided Wal-Mart’s pharmacy. I definitely wanted Ringers, D5W, normal saline
and a lot of IV admin sets. Derek could use them, thanks to his military training.

Day Four: The CD V-717 is no longer pegged. Actually, it had only been pegged for a
few hours. When the radiation reading started to drop, I wanted to start a countdown
timer in an Excel Spreadsheet. It took me the better part of a day to figure out that I
didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t say it couldn’t be done, I said I didn’t know how to do it.
I miss my Lotus 1-2-3. Plan B was to write down the date and time and add 343 hours
to get a target date and time.

I almost always have a Plan B; I’m not a terrorist. However, I calculated the serial num-
ber for NOW()+14.29167 and entered the date/time serial number into a cell. I put the
NOW() function in a second cell and the difference in a third cell. The difference was in
days and factions of a day and was close enough. It was all a matter of perspective.
Every time I pressed the F9 key the countdown clock up dated. To display the serial
number of the NOW() function, change the cell format to general. Now you know. To get
the exact amount to add to the original NOW() function; divide 343 (7³ hours) by 24. I
must be autistic because I see numbers. The number to add is 14.29167.

Day Five: I gave everyone ½ of a chill pill TID, people were starting to get a little bit
antsy. Me too. There was an AM radio station on the air, but it was too far away or too
weak of a signal. I guess that means that more than just us survived. I told Derek to use

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the earphones and to keep trying to find a radio station. It was a way to occupy our time
and not be so concerned about what had happened. Yeah, like anyone could forget
what had happened? A very large pot of chili was going. Good, I was wondering when
she would get around to it. I was getting into a routine. I was up at 2100, on duty at
2200 and stayed on duty until 1200 when I took my pill. I stayed on duty until about
1300 and Derek took over until 2200 again. I wore the earphones as much to block out
the background noise as to listen for a radio station.

My God, it just occurred to me. What if we had to stay in this shelter for 2,401 hours? I
wonder if I have enough Xanax? I created a second formula to calculate the countdown
to 2,401 hours. All I can say is that it was a spooky number. I counted out 300 Xanax for
myself and put them up. I was starting to get mellow and I turned the desk duties over to
Derek and Ronnie Joe.

Day Six: I must be taking too much Xanax, as I can hardly get awake. I am taking it ex-
actly as prescribed, 0.5mg TID, e.g., one tablet every 8 hours. The shower wakes me
up if I leave the water a little on the cool side. Since I don’t have the duty anymore, I de-
cided to revert to a normal schedule. I have to admit that I’m dying to try out the M14
rifle. One short burst will tell the entire story. It’s going to be very embarrassing if it
doesn’t work. Sure makes for a weird looking rifle. Take a note Zelda: We need ear-
phones for all of the kids for next time. These things happen in three’s you know. The
number to add to NOW() for 2,401 hours was 100.04167. Today I needed the comfort of
an old friend so I sprayed the pits with some Old Spice deodorant.

Day Seven: Derek tells me he picked up a radio station in Missouri. They were playing
Country Music and giving news updates at the top of the hour. The Chinese must have
dumped most of their 400 nuclear weapons on the US. He said that there wasn’t a Chi-
na anymore. Well, I didn’t figure there would be, to be perfectly honest. We could fire all
50 Peacekeepers and all 500 Minuteman missiles and still have 2,688 warheads where
no one could find them. He says we wiped out North Korea, too. Right, one Peacekeep-
er would do that. If you screw with the bull, you get the horn. I wonder what Beijing was
thinking? I don’t really give a flip, but I am a little curious. Come to think of it, I don’t real-
ly give a crap about much of anything; I’m going to cut the Xanax tablets in half. The CD
V-717 is looking good; we may be about to get out of this zoo in 343 hours. I occurred to
me that if we got all of their warheads, Russia must have gotten a free ride. Except that
if Carl Sagan was right, nobody got a free ride.

Day Eight: The lower dose of Xanax is better. Now I’m only a little groggy. This stuff isn’t
for the timid. When we get a little closer to 343 hours, I’m going to cut out everything but
the one tablet 2 hours before bedtime. I got the kid (Derek) to load up all 39 of my M14
magazines with 18 rounds per. When we went out, I’d top each mag off with 2 extra
rounds; maybe, I would follow Derek’s recommendation. At least Damon had enough
meds for 30 days. It sort of helped. I didn’t really realize how many M14 mags I had, the
2-dozen I bought with the M1A rifles and the extra 13 I bought from Eric the Ammoman,
plus 2 more that the M14 came with. He loaded the 30-round magazines for the Mini-
14s with 27 rounds per of SS109 (M855). Ditto if we went out, I’d top them off, too. Don’t

249
forget I had 11 7-round magazines for my M1911. I guess that if I tried to take too much;
I’d need a trailer for my wheelchair. They make trailers for motorcycles, do they make
trailers for wheelchairs; it would be pretty handy if you bought a lot of groceries.

Day Nine: On a scale of 0-10, 10 being the highest level of aggravation, we were run-
ning about a 13. I told everyone to do 30 minutes on my exercise machine. They ig-
nored me and Derek and Ronnie Joe enforced the suggestion. If I had been thinking, I
would have had them doing that all along instead of feeding them ½ tablets of happy
pills. Our home was 60’ long and 36’ wide. The basement had 2,160 square foot of floor
space or 90 gross ft² per person. The Swiss said that you needed 10 ft² per person. I
sure wouldn’t want to be in a Swiss shelter. Most of the folks weren’t short like Sharon
and me. I really think that was the problem.

Several of the people smoked. Sharon didn’t like that one dang bit. Fortunately, I had 6
smokeless ashtrays and we sent everyone to the little generator room to smoke. Mary’s
mother was helping with the cooking and Brenda and Jennifer were doing the dishes 3
times a day. So, what was the big deal? The big deal was probably the lack of privacy.
There isn’t any such thing, not since they passed the USA Patriot Act. The Bill of Rights
doesn’t enumerate a right of privacy. It is inferred from the Bill of Rights, primarily the
4th Amendment. Are you still checking out library books? Silly boy, you’re on the FBI list
now. Idle hands and idle minds are the Devil’s playground. If you think I was po’d when
they sent Derek to Kosovo and Iraq, it was nothing compared to now since Dubya had
gotten us nuked.

Day Ten: Four days to go, right? Wrong! Five days, minimum. The CD V-717 hadn’t
stopped going up and started back down until Day Two. That’s when I programmed the
spreadsheet. I was trying to create a macro to force it to recalculate every 30 seconds.
The spreadsheet shows Days, Hours and Minutes, not Seconds. We still had over 100
hours to go. Derek had changed the range on the survey meter down one click. It was
starting off as another 3 Xanax day. There was squabbling and petty bickering. Appar-
ently it went with the territory of being young. When Sharon and I were squabbling and
bickering, we did it in silence.

I had time to do some figuring. 300R in 120 days translated into 2.5R per day. The radi-
ation level would be 0.1% in 343 hours. I figured that would be about 500mR per hour.
That would give everyone 5 hours a day out of the shelter. If they don’t quit their bicker-
ing, I’m going to lock them out. I wonder how Bubba is doing? Not the cousin, the cop
who stopped me for speeding in my wheelchair so he could see my Mini-14. You re-
member, Deputy John Brown, the abolitionist, from Harper’s Ferry, Virginia. He talked a
little bit like James Bond.

I took whole pills, not halves. Come on clock, tick. Faster! I didn’t want to know what
Derek and Ronnie Joe were hearing on the radio. It would look just like it had outside
when we went into the shelter. Flippin wasn’t on anybody’s target list. All Missy wanted
to do was sit on my lap. Chili for supper, yeah. Someone told Sharon to add spaghetti. I

250
gave Sharon the look. I never figured out why anyone would want to ruin chili by adding
spaghetti.

Day Eleven: The clock is running mighty slowly. It felt like it was taking the second hand
an hour to make a single sweep around the dial. I need a drink. It’s just a good thing I
don’t have any booze in the basement. Not even those little airline bottles of medicinal
brandy. Derek had a couple of bottles in his basement gun safe. Derek didn’t have the
air filtration system, yet. He’d run out of time and money. That’s why they were here and
not there. We’d have to jury rig something so they could move half of the people to Mary
and his basement. Maybe we could rig a series of HEPA filters that we could borrow
from Wal-Mart. Does Wal-Mart sell Wranglers? Dang.

I’ve decided to retire the greasy straw hat. From now on, I’m wearing my black hat. You
can call me Black Gary. I need a Winchester lever action rifle, a .45 Colt revolver and a
horse named Salina to make everything perfect. I don’t ride, but Salina didn’t walk. That
horse must have known I was terrified. I hadn’t been on a horse since and that was in
‘76. Tick, clock, that’s an order. How long to supper? What do you mean, eat your
breakfast? Quit looking at that package of spaghetti. I need 2 drinks, but I’m getting by.
Xanax is nothing but freeze dried alcohol.

Day Twelve: Derek has his M40 gas mask and MOPP suit – at home. I could have
found room in the shelter, trust me. I had charged up the sole CD V-138 200mR dosim-
eter I had and I was making sure we weren’t getting any radiation in the basement. I
built it good. The 2x8’s were 12” on center. They held the concrete very well. It is pretty
hard to overbuild something like that. Not with concrete weighing 145 per ft³.

I borrowed Sharon’s CD player, got out my box of CD’s and listened to my set of Time
Life 50’s and ‘60’s music. The good old days, when music could be understood and
made sense. It was mostly the boy-girl stuff. Johnny didn’t wait and Roy had his Pretty
Woman. Angels were popular for a while. Teen Angel and Earth Angel, remember? My
favorite was Only the Lonely. I wonder why? No I don’t, I figured that out a long time
ago. It must be hell to get old. I sure hope it never happens to me. Get a move on,
clock.

Day Thirteen: We dug out the CD V-715 and the CD V-742 dosimeters. I wasn’t quite
sure when to pass out the KI, so I did it today. They’d better get some of that stuff in
their thyroids now. What do you mean, read the label? I can’t – I left my reading glasses
upstairs. It got really rushed towards the end, waiting for the world to end. Maybe this
was all a dream and I was going to wait up any minute. I should be so lucky. I stopped
taking Xanax because I’m going to need a clear head in a couple of days. I told Derek to
take the padlock off the door. If they want to make a run for it, it’s fine with me.

First thing I’m going to do is run a magazine through the M14 and find out if it works.
They must have scared the living crap out of me in the ‘50’s. I’ve been planning for the
end of the world since I was 13-years-old. I long ago decided that it isn’t if, it’s only
when. I think that I came to that conclusion in October of 1962, 12 B-47 bombers with

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nuclear weapons aboard. I guess they would have gone to Cuba. They called the B-52
a BUFF. It was an acronym for Big Ugly Fat, er, ‘Fellow’. Personally, I like the B-1B
bomber, if you could keep them in the air. 3 weapons bays. Sleek, swing-wing, they
looked fast, nap of the earth at a jillion miles an hour. Come on, clock.

Day Fourteen: Less than 36 hours to go. They’re bickering again. Who cares WHO
started it? It happened. It’s over. It only lasted 80-minutes. Now is when we’re going to
have the real trouble. Ever heard of Carl Sagan? Nuclear Winter? Isotopes with half-
lives of forever? EMP? Why do you think I gave you the KIO3? We aren’t going outside
and have a Labor Day picnic, you know. I didn’t drop the M14 when Bubba tossed it to
me and I was never any good at playing catch. However, I could visualize Jack Webb in
my face about me dropping my rifle. This is my rifle and this is my gun… this one’s for
shooting and this one’s for fun. Don’t get old – it’s very unbecoming.

Wait for me wait for me Johnny please wait for me

I’ll grow up just as fast as I can…

Day Fifteen: The countdown clock is down to a single digit in hours, Thank God! I’m
rearing to go. They can lug that wheelchair up the stairs, they got it down here. I should
have ordered a left-handed M1911 holster. Then I could be 2-gun Black Gary. Wait, I
only have one M1911. For now. I used tape and a brush and got all of the lint off of my
black hat. I sprayed it with ScotchGard. Maybe the lint won’t stick, now. I’m fussing like
a little old lady. Anxious? Who’s anxious? I shined up my Laredo boots and oiled the
zippers. Just a little drop of gun oil. I found my pair of Wranglers after all. Memo to self:
Don’t breathe. I know where I can get a .45 Colt Winchester rifle and a .45 Colt caliber
revolver. We’ll swipe a pickup and I’ll be a modern cowboy. Green or brown, Flame Red
won’t cut it.

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last! This will be the day
when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning “My country ‘tis of
thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pil-
grim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”

I have a dream today. It’s more like a nightmare. Everything looks normal, but the CD V-
715 says 500mR. We rushed to Wal-Mart, busted down a back door and did our shop-
ping. I stood guard with my trusty M14 rifle. They got everything on my list. It was a
short list. We hit the hospital and got IV stuff. We hit the gun store and got me the rifle,
revolver and all of their .45 Colt ammo. They even had a fast draw rig that fit. Derek had
Rambo III to a razor’s edge for me – top and bottom. I ain’t Jim Bowie or Paladin. I’m
just a senile, crazy old Iowan from Kalifornia living in Flippin, Arkansas. I speak 3 words
of the southern dialect: y’all, Bubba and hear. Not a difficult language to master.

Damon and Derek and their families moved to Derek’s basement and they got the
HEPA filters working. I lent him my CD V-715. Mary’s folks went with them. We were
down to 10 people in our basement, the ones that bickered. I’m starting to like grits and
southern fried chicken. We left a note at Wal-Mart and told them, Thanks. Wal-Mart has

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plenty of weapons; but they’re a little short on certain sizes of ammo, now. They ran out
of Xanax, Vicodin, antibiotics, Humalin and a few other drugs when we left. The hospital
had plenty of morphine and syringes and a regular defibrillator. We borrowed the entire
crash cart. They didn’t object either. I don’t know if it was the masks or the guns. I said
Hey to Bubba on the way back home in my shiny new Brown Dodge RAM 3500 Crew
Cab with the Cummins 5.9L turbo diesel engine and the 12k Warn winch lying in the
long bed. Bubba was going the other way, someone had held up the hospital.

It must have been some junkies. They took morphine, syringes, IV admin sets, IV solu-
tions, including antibiotics, and of all things, a crash cart. The hospital had 3 and I fig-
ured that they could spare one. BTW, Wal-Mart is out of cigarettes, Folgers coffee and a
lot of things, including some Wrangler look-a-likes. First come, first served. That’s the
way it’s always been and that’s the way it will always be.

I did talk to some guy named Bruce. I lied and said we were from Mountain Home. It’s
just down the road a piece. We didn’t go to Osage Beach; I lied again, for the sake of
the story. We should have, I heard later that they had access to a bunch of government
caches. We didn’t get the SINCGARS radios, at first. The ones we found didn’t work.
Damon did take a Flame Red pickup, but he kept it. He found it in Mountain Home,
along with our other new pickups. They were having a fire sale or something. Said he
got them really cheap. He even got both sets of keys for each pickup so I can only im-
agine he bought them. We sent Brenda and Jennifer and their families to Cedar Hill and
got Amy and Lorrie and their families in exchange. Can I swap back? I want an elephant
gun, too!

On November 9, 2008 the CD V-717 wasn’t registering hardly anything, even on the
lowest scale. We were finally out of the basement, full time. That was the ultimate free-
dom. It was pretty darn cold and it snowed early on until the atmosphere exhausted the
moisture. After, it was very cold and very windy. I liked that Bruce fella on the radio but I
was leery. For all I knew, he could be a Russian spy. I most certainly wasn’t about to
find out.

Derek and Mary started out by renting a home is Gassville. They later bought a home in
Flippin. She did that while he was in Iraq trying to commit suicide. And no, I don’t think
the calderas really blew up. Maybe, but I really think it was a rumor started by the media
so they could grab a headline. Yes, the sky got dark for a while, but I just thought it was
the weather. It did get pretty cold for a couple of years. I was busy working in my base-
ment, you know. Pouring concrete and making blocks. Getting reacquainted with mus-
cles I didn’t know I had. I wore the back brace because it held in my hernia. That came
from the Whipple Procedure I’d had.

Cancer saves a lot of lives. It saved Ron’s and later mine; except that it turned out I
didn’t have cancer. They took out the parts anyway. Life is full of contradictions. So is
this story. Tough, that just means the story is more like life, in some ways. It is intended
as entertainment and perhaps contains a lesson or two. Take what you can use and
leave the rest behind. Buy a generator. Store some food. Toilet paper. At least get a

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shotgun. You don’t have to buy a survey meter; you can use the 7/10 Rule. When will it
happen? When it happens, and not a minute sooner. Will it happen? I’ll put my money
on it, even if it’s a long shot. Will we know in advance? Yes or no – that’s the answer,
not a question. Watch Geraldo, he’ll draw you a map.

If you can get out early while everyone is still ducking and covering, you can do pretty
well and they will blame it on looters. Leave them a note and tell them you’ll pay for it
later. They like that, you know. On second thought, don’t leave the note. They use fo-
rensic science these days and they’ll get you. John Law has very long arms and a mi-
croscope. LAPD SWAT has Kimber .45s. They also have unserviced Barrett rifles. Don’t
even think about stealing rifles from Ronnie Barrett. Unless you can get all of the weap-
ons and ammo from his factory and the several he undoubtedly has at home. That’s be-
cause if he ever figures out it was you, he’ll probably arrange a product demonstration
at no charge. Guess what Ronnie will use for a target? 600-yards…

If Flippin, Arkansas got 500R, how much radiation did a place like Little Rock get? What
if it were 10 times as much? That’s 5,000R and the 7/10 Rule still applies. 7=10%,
7²=1%, 7³=0.1%, etc. 10% of 5,000 = 500. 1% = 50. 343 hours = 5R. 2,401 hours =
500mR. At 500mR, you can’t be exposed to radiation for more than 5 hours per day.
2,401 times 7 = 16,807 hours. That is equal to 700 days and 7 hours. That will get the
radiation level to 50mR. The daily limit is, again, 2,500mR. Or, no more than 104mR per
hour for 24 hours a day and that will get you to the limit of 300R in 120 days. You don’t
want to get the limit. Half of the limit would be more than enough. How much food is in
your shelter? If you live in a place like Little Rock, WW III happens and they nuke you,
you’ll have to leave town. Period.

Did you think I attached the OSB to the bottom of those joists? How could Derek have
put his head between the joists if I had done that? Derek is about yea so tall, I have to
look up to him and I’d have to stand on a stool to look him in the eye. Sorry if there was
a misunderstanding. The screws were to hold them in place. There wasn’t room to
swing a hammer and did you ever try to drive a nail through OSB? If you have to drill a
hole anyway, so why not use a screw?

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 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part III – Flippin – Chapter 3 – Freedom

Is a seven-letter word. Dr. Martin Luther King had a dream and he wanted freedom.
James Earl Ray set Dr. King free. I rather doubt it was what Dr. King had in mind. How-
ever, Dr. King was indeed free. No longer would he have to look into the faces of people
who scorned him and what he represented. Do you dream when you die? I could care.
When you’re dead you’re dead. Anything else is a bonus. I have a new coal shovel, just
in case. I also have a new M14 rifle and a new Beretta Colt .45 SAA with a 5½” barrel
and a Winchester model 94 in .45 Colt (Legacy with a 24” barrel). No horse named Sa-
lina, but I named my new pickup Salina. They aren’t real cowboy boots, but they sort of
look like it. I’m not a real cowboy, either, but I try to dress like one. I rubbed dog poop on
the boots and tossed on some dust so I sort of look like a cowboy. Saturday Night Cow-
boys don’t have poop on their boots. Poop is poop, who cares what kind of poop it is?

Jerry’s question on the particleboard was very legit. Personally, I hate particleboard but
it’s inexpensive and 2 laminated sheets were strong, as long as you didn’t get it wet.
However, 2 sheets of particleboard cost about the same as one sheet of ¾” plywood.
People don’t always use their heads for more than holding their hats, I didn’t. Still don’t.
I don’t have a driver’s license in Arkansas, either. I hope Bubba doesn’t really want to
see it or my registration, because I don’t have either. Nice pickup, if you like a Dodge. I
happen to like the Cummins engine more than anything else. It’s a diesel, you know. I
only have a single alternator and battery because they don’t come with two. Not off the
lot anyway. Or maybe Damon’s picker is broken. It runs in the family. Broken pickers.
Damon’s problem is that he looks like me and thinks a lot like me.

Michael’s glove didn’t fit and Arnold wants a special election, which the Democrats say
is wasteful. So is having a legislative session and not passing any meaningful legisla-
tion. Media circus on TV tonight. I wonder if the jury enjoyed Larry King Live?

This is the town…

Flippin, Arkansas…

I live here…

I’m disabled and retired…

I ain’t a detective, but I heard some are looking for me… They’d better be wearing bul-
letproof vests. I have a whole cabinet full of guns and thousands of rounds of ammo.

I was working the day watch out of my living room. It was the week before Thanksgiv-
ing. The world had ended on July 31st, 2008 around 4:40pm, local time. Well, not my

255
world, I’m really a Martian named Uncle Martin (He died in 2001 of Lupus). I’m just visit-
ing, like my friend FT. It was snowing; big white flakes. I was worried because I was
down to my last 150 cartons of cigarettes and last 300 cans of Folgers coffee. Not all of
the cigarettes were Kool’s, but I had a jar of Vick’s. Humor might seem out of place in
the scenario, but what are you going to do? You can’t undo it and getting on your knees
and praying will comfort your soul but not protect your body.

The M14 rifle protects a body. So do most large caliber firearms. The problem is that
there are about 200 million firearms in the United States and I don’t own them all, con-
trary to rumor. I was 65 years old on my last birthday and have a couple of minor health
issues. I’m relatively certain that I’m going to live until I die. I’m not in any hurry to do
that, die I mean. I’m not above doing whatever it takes for my family and me to survive. I
sent Derek the long way around to get to the Pine Bluff Arsenal. I told him nothing too
exotic, just the usual survival story stuff.

Do your kids listen to you? Mine listen just fine, but they don’t hear so well. He brought
back M16A4 rifles with the M203 grenade launchers attached. He had a ton, literally, of
.223 ammo, all of it the M995 AP and M996 Dim Tracer rounds, in belts. He had both
types of C-4, the blocks and the sheets, 40mm grenades, M67 hand grenades, smoke
grenades, incendiary grenades, and a box of M9 Beretta pistols, perhaps to use as
doorstops. By the usual, I meant M2HB, M240B and M249 machine guns – he didn’t
have any. An Mk 19 would have been nice – nope. We had enough .22 (.223) caliber
rifles to set up a shooting gallery. I forgave him because he had a dozen SINCGARS
radios and the antennas.

After Kosovo and Iraq, Derek didn’t think much of land mines and he didn’t get any
Claymores. I made a list of what Derek didn’t get and sent Damon. Anyone need a ma-
chinegun? LAW rocket? Claymore mine? The 180-pound (including ammo) Ma Deuce
with tripod? An 81-mm mortar? See Damon. He has it in the semi tractor-trailer rig he
borrowed. He takes gold and silver, if you’re from out of town.

Need some of the M821A1/M889A1, HE Cartridges that are used with the M252 Mortar
System? How many? Need a M252 mortar? Same question. The mortars are $25
grand, that’s what they cost the military. They weren’t as easy to use as I thought. The
number of propelling charges varied according to the range, max was about 6 klicks.

What inevitably won every war until modern times, and maybe then, was the infantry-
man and his weapon, these days, his rifle. Air power may be nice, but what do you do
when you don’t have a Squadron of F-22 Raptors? You put on your boots and ALICE
gear and grab your – rifle. Why would we need that kind of armament in Flippin? The
radiation level in Little Rock reached 5,000R. People weren’t stupit, they ran. I’m
danged if I know why the Yankees won the Civil War, maybe the Rebs ran out of ammo.
Arkansas fielded 17 units, mostly Regiments, including 4 Calvary, 2 Artillery and 11 In-
fantry. Company A, Flippin’s Battalion Arkansas Cavalry, CSA, was one of those units.
You wouldn’t find many rifles around Flippin that people didn’t know how to use. Nice

256
little town, a little hilly, very few straight roads and Ozark Mountain country. The fishing
is very good, when it’s warm enough.

I didn’t bother getting another M1911. My left hand is too numb to hold a handgun. The
ScotchGard worked a lot better than whatever I used before, nothing, I think. The Lare-
do’s really hurt my feet so I wasn’t wearing them, except when people were looking.
When they weren’t looking, I had on my bedroom slippers, the moccasins. Carly Simon
was never around when you need a lyric – You’re so vain… It was music that made
sense, not a lot of sense, but… maybe 1972 - 73?

I had a total of bunch of PMI magazines and I had 7 of those 3-magazine magazine
pouches on my web gear, plus the other in the rifle. Do you have any idea how much 21
mags of .223 ammo weighs? About 3½-times as much as the usual 7 magazines of
.223 ammo, that’s how much. It does add up. I made a bracket for the wheelchair and
hung 3 magazine pouches on each side. Then, I could carry either 12 M14 magazines
or 24 Mini-14 magazines. AR15 and M16 magazines won’t work in a Mini-14. That’s ok,
Mini-14 magazines won’t work in an AR15 or M16. If you shoot 24 30-round magazines
through your Mini-14, you’ll probably melt the barrel. To test the M4-FA suppressor,
Surefire fired 1,500 rounds through a M4/M16 as fast as they could load the magazines.
The suppressor glowed cherry red. The barrel of the M16 was burnt out. But the sup-
pressor passed the test. It was as quiet at the end as it was in the beginning of the test.

So successful was the M4-FA, Surefire brought out FA suppressors for the 7.62mm ri-
fle. Is a Springfield M25 Sniper rifle the same thing as a M1A? The new number of the
M4-FA is the FA556A. The model number of the 7.62 suppressor is the FA762S (Fast-
Attach, 7.62, sniper). The claim is that the baffles in 556 suppressor are good for 30,000
rounds. Assuming the 762 suppressor uses the same patented baffle material… the
product is warranted for one year. The Surefire suppressors seem to lack that first
round pop, or so I’ve heard. Take that any way you want to.

Yes sir, I needed me some suppressors. Ain’t gonna happen, unless I can find a class
III dealer around here. I guess I should have thought about that before the end of the
world. The laws are far too complicated, to understand. It more or less gives one a
choice of, well never mind… Since I don’t have anything remotely like any class III
weapons, I’d better not suggest that I do. They will come looking and tear apart the
walls of my house, looking for what I don’t have. And then, they’ll say tough. It’s has
happened before. It will happen again. It happened in LA not all that long back. They
(LAPD) said tough. It was on the news.

Like I said, I had the day watch. I was sitting in my wheelchair in the living room keeping
an eye on the road. We didn’t know if anyone made it out of Little Rock or not. If they
had a shelter and hunkered down for a couple of weeks, they might be able to make a
mad dash for it. They could possibly end up in our area because we weren’t all that far
from Bull Shoals. 500R/hr for a brief period might not kill you. I’m not really certain be-
cause we’re talking about 500R/hr. If they showed up and wanted hep and asked rather
than insisted, we might hep them. 5 words now, I guess. They might not have a survey

257
meter and might be depending on the 7/10 rule. Remember, the rule is a statement ra-
diation decay levels. For every 7 fold increase in time the radiation is reduced to 10% of
the previous level.

If they showed up and tried to take what they wanted, they’ll learn about Derek and
Damon’s little trips to Pine Bluff, the hard way. I’m an Iowan from Kalifornia, just trying
to fit in with some people, some of whom still think the Civil War hadn’t really ended. I’ll
let guys like Bubba take the lead and I’ll back up best I can. Of course living on the west
side of town puts me in the position to notice visitors first. Any of the locals who wanted
anything that either of the boys brought back were welcome to share, free. I had what I
wanted, the select fire M14 and the Cowboy Guns. I’d never fired an automatic weapon
until I test fired the M14. I’d held it tightly to my shoulder and it still kicked the crap out of
me. I was 65, not a snotty nosed 20-year-old kid built like Arnold. And the rifle was
heavy, around 11+ pounds with a 20-round magazine. I had hoped none of this would
happen in my lifetime. Wish in one hand… see which one fills the fastest. Be sure to
wear rubber gloves.

Stores like Costco and Wal-Mart sell latex exam gloves. They aren’t sterile. But, like a
condom, they prevent the transmission of disease, both ways. They aren’t that expen-
sive, buy a box. They come small, medium and large. A few simple products like Beta-
dine, Hydrogen Peroxide, 90% (not the 70% standard stuff, but it will do) Isopropyl Al-
cohol are inexpensive and should be in your first aid kit. Betadine Microbicides are the
leading antiseptics in US hospitals today. Only povidone-iodine, as in Betadine Microbi-
cides, is capable of killing all classes of pathogens responsible for nosocomial infec-
tions: gram-positive and gram-negative bacteria, including antibiotic-resistant strains
and spores (both bacterial and fungal), as well as viruses, mycobacteria and protozoa.
Today, gram-negative strains comprise over one-third of bacteria isolated from hospital-
acquired infections, and some commonly used antiseptics are ineffective against these
organisms.

Sixteen ounces of Betadine costs about $6. You can get the 90% Alcohol at Target. It’s
less expensive. Get the 70% if you can’t find the 90%. You can also add suture kits and
the like. There may come a day when you have no choice except to sew up a wound
yourself. Sterilized needle and thread will do in a pinch. So might a disposable scalpel
or two and some hemostats. If you keep an Epi-pen, remember, when they expire,
they’re expired. Period. I am not a doctor, and this is not medical advice; it is some of
what my curious mind picked up over the years. Antibiotics also get old and ineffective.
You can push the expiration date, a little. Learn what triage means and learn to do it.

Heart attack patients should be given 325mg of aspirin, immediately and nitro if they
use it. A defibrillator isn’t cheap, a couple of grand at least. They work by stopping the
heart and allowing the heart to restart with a normal sinus rhythm. You may have to use
CPR to get it going if it doesn’t start on its own. Certain types of heart attack are fatal,
period. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. Take a class. They’re moderately in-

258
expensive. Take a Combat Lifesaver class if you can find one. You will learn to estab-
lish an IV and some very important information about the types of wounds you see in a
war-like situation. Pop with the dough and buy a Special Forces Medical Handbook, it’s
worth it. Don’t put anything in your kit you don’t know how to use. Dessert Doc was a
specially trained Combat Medic. Even he has his limits.

Having all the rifles or weapons in the world won’t do you any good if you don’t have
ammo and know how to use the weapon. I’ve never killed anybody, except in my sto-
ries. I think I could if the situation called for it. That’s a very large maybe. I hope that if it
comes to that, I haven’t just eaten. They say you get used to it, I hope not. Some things
are easier talked about than done.

“Ronald McDonald calling Gar-Bear. Ronald McDonald calling Gar-Bear. Are you
there?”

“Hey butthead, what’s happening in Cedar Hill?”

“Same stuff, different day. Did your kids get there?”

“Yeah, do you want them back? I’ll buy the gas.”

“Negatory, good buddy. I got mine, ain’t that enough? How many armories have you
hit?”

“None.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“We hit an arsenal.”

“How many Wal-Marts?”

“One, so far.”

“You’re losing your touch.”

“We didn’t need much.”

“Any heavy duty firepower?”

“The usual.”

“Bouncing Betty’s?”

259
“Couldn’t find any. Claymores. LAWs.”

“Is old Ma Deuce visiting?”

“Both of them. They brought some smaller friends.”

“Do tell.”

“Not over the radio, do you have a SINCGARS?”

“Negatory.”

“Get one, then we’ll talk. What about John and Kevin?”

“I’m not worried about John, he’s an armed guard by profession. He wouldn’t even have
left for work when the balloon went up.”

“What about Kevin?”

“He’s not here, that’s all that counts.”

“Right, same stuff, different day.”

“Rog. Keep your power dry.”

“Hey, shoot any elephants yet?”

“Negatory, got me a Hummer.”

“Close enough. KD6GDQ clear.”

“Same time plus 72. Ronald McDonald clear.”

Did he mean he acquired a Hummer or killed one with his elephant gun? I’ll have to ask
him in 3 days. They moved the radio equipment upstairs for me. I couldn’t be on the day
watch and talk on the radio at the same time if they hadn’t. First shift is 8am to 4pm, etc.
We call it the day watch. My computer desk is in front of the winder and the radios are
one side and the monitor the other. That way I can see out the winder and watch for
those MZB’s.

Damon had a reproduction German Imperial War Helmet with the spike. One day some
bikers came rolling into town. He put on the German helmet, fired up his Harley and
joined them. All they wanted was some gas and had silver coins to pay for it. It only
seemed prudent to the town elders to sell them some gas. Two silver quarters and 3 sil-

260
ver dimes per gallon. Silver was way up, I guess. Remember, before TSHTF, silver was
trading at an average 5 times face value and it had to be worth double that by now
($8.00 per gallon). Gas must be getting hard to find. Not all bikers are MZB’s – is it just
the ones from Texas? No, it’s mostly the ones from Kalifornia.

“My Momma told me not to judge a book by its cover.”

“What else did your Momma tell you?”

“My Momma always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what
you’re gonna get.’” (The most used line in the movie.)

Make that 6 words now: y’all, Bubba, hear, hep, stupit and winder. One of these days,
you’ll have to start calling me Johnny Yuma. Amy said that the only difference between
Linda and Sharon was that there wasn’t any difference between Linda and Sharon.
They were both codependents, big time. That probably explains why they married Ron
and me. A codependent will drive you to drink; she’ll also drive you for a drink or buy it
for you and then bitch if you drink it. Hey, I don’t make it all up. Codependents ain’t like
a box of chocolates, you always know what you’re going to get. They say ain’t in Iowa,
too, as in I ain’t got no… Yankees aren’t all that different, it was the Yankee politicians,
they didn’t like. Reconstruction meant: take all you can get.

“Hey Gar-Bear, you there?”

“Hey uglier than me, did you shoot a Hummer with the elephant gun or acquire one?”

“Yep.” – I’m glad I asked.

“What kind of Hummer did you shoot, male or female?”

“An up-armored Hummer.”

“What did you buy?”

“Borrowed. 2006 H1-Alpha.”

“When are you coming to Flippin?”

“Not until spring – maybe never, I’d have to tow a trailer of fuel.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can get to the store, and back, on a half tank.” – Figures, the store was 20
miles away.

261
“Damon got me a pickup.”

“Brown or green?”

“Brown. Cummins 5.9L turbo diesel.”

“I never cared for a Dodge.”

“I named it Salina.”

“You must have gotten the cowboy guns.”

“I borrowed some, yes.”

“Did you get a M82A1?”

“I’m afraid of Ronnie Barrett.”

“Gotta go, Linda is calling me for breakfast.”

“It’s the middle of the afternoon.”

“It’s lunchtime here. Ronald McDonald clear.”

“KD6GDQ, clear.” – Breakfast? Linda must have been hungry. Sharon fixes me lunch at
3pm and dinner at 5pm; and then wonders why I’m not hungry. I have a pout on. I got
the last scoop of ice cream out of the carton and then Sharon wanted to know if there
was more. That ice cream never got eaten. My pouter doesn’t have an off switch.

We had turkey for Thanksgiving. It looked more like Iowa than Iowa did. The snow had
stopped falling, until the next time it snowed. Some people showed up from Little Rock
with guns insisting we hep them. We heped them, into a grave. Didn’t even shoot and I
still puked.

“Pass the dressing. Why do you always fix 2 kinds of potatoes for Thanksgiving?”

“I don’t like gravy on sweet potatoes.”

The bad news was that there wasn’t any good news. Dubya was holed up at one of
those super-secret shelters they’d built. Probably hiding from the public. I’m taking both
of my votes back. It was just like eating peanuts and who could vote for Band-Aid John?
Kalifornia finally went to computers for elections. They were more complicated than the

262
punch cards. No, they didn’t hang (Chad Everett) – he was still making movies, block-
busters like Star Command. What does straight to video mean?

“What do you want for supper?”

“I haven’t had breakfast.”

“I can fix pancakes.”

“With Aunt Jemima and real butter? Ok.”

“How many do you want?”

“Why does it matter? You always fix me two. You make them too big to fit on the griddle
and the first one gets cold before the second is finished. Did you ever think of making
them a tiny bit smaller and making 4 at once? Why don’t you make enough batter so
you can have 2 pancakes, too? You only ever make enough batter for three pancakes
and then give me a dirty look.”

“The recipe on the box says it’s for 4 pancakes.”

“Then divide the batter 4 ways.” – It’s rocket science.

They put me to sleep and the doctor used his tube to see if the sun was shining. I told
him to wake me when it was over and that I didn’t require him to return the parts he’d
removed. He said I was full of beans. I could have told him that, kidney beans, pinto
beans and paquitos. He couldn’t find the sun and wanted to come down from the top.

“It’s too cold.”

“Six months ago it was too hot. Wait, the weather will change, it always does.”

“If we’re going to have a Nuclear Winter, shouldn’t we keep taking KIO3 tablets?”

“It refers to the cause, not the effect.”

“Could you explain that?”

“No. I’m going to be 66 on my next birthday. I don’t have time.”

263
°

“Why do you insist on having so many Assault Rifles?”

“Someone might Assault us?”

“You’re just looking for an excuse to shoot someone.”

“Are you volunteering?”

It was a match made in Heaven. They shovel coal in Heaven, did you know? Trust me
on this. I wasn’t a bargain either. They don’t put people like Ron and me on sale. Spring
came. It was right after the Nuclear Winter. It couldn’t have been too nuclear; the CD V-
717 never clicked once.

“Let’s drive out to Cedar Hill and see Ron and Linda.”

“Can we get fuel?”

“I have one of those 98-gallon cross-bed fuel tanks in Salina.”

“Where did you get that?”

“I borrowed it.”

“Why?”

“For a while.”

264
 TEOTWAWKI, Too! – Part III – Flippin – Chapter 4 – Cedar Hill

The boys got me an auxiliary fuel tank for Salina for Christmas of 2008. Not the in the
bed kind, the other kind that held 35-gallons that fit underneath something. I borrowed
the 98-gallon cross-bed tank, all on my own. I got Bubba to install it. 70 + 98 = 168. I
figured I had a cruising range of 2,500 miles. Fuel was $4 a gallon, unless you had a
motorcycle and were from out of town. Then, it was $8 a gallon. It was only discrimina-
tory if you didn’t sell them fuel, not if you gouged them. Besides, our guns were bigger
than the bikers’; a Ma Deuce wouldn’t fit on a Harley, Damon tried. Bubba is ok, as long
as you fly the Confederate Battle Flag and try to learn the language. He’ll overlook you
being a Yankee, as long as you’re not a Yankee politician.

Arizona didn’t exist at the time of the Civil War, as a state. If it had, it probably would
have been a Southern State like Texas. John McCain is from Arizona, consequently,
Bubba considered John McCain to be a Southern Senator. Bubba voted for John
McCain for President in 2008, even though he wasn’t on the ballot. Bubba said that waz
wut pincils waz fer. I really like Bubba; the guy that gave me the rifle, not the Deputy. If
the Deputy had given me a rifle instead of a hard time, I’d have liked him, too. Bubba,
the Deputy came back that day and asked us if we’d seen any masked men carrying
guns in or around the hospital. We told him no, we’d been looting Wal-Mart at the time.
Maybe I do like the Deputy after all. He was real smart and understood that we couldn’t
be in two places at the same time.

On the 1st of May, when the Ruskies have their big parade, we set off to see Ronald
McDonald in Cedar Hill. I made the mistake of asking where Cedar Hill was on the ra-
dio. You obviously know what he told me, except he added a damn. I didn’t know that
Ronald was into hydro electrical power. (Same damn place it’s always been.)

Sharon was still mad at me because China attacked the US. We didn’t talk the entire
drive from Flippin to Cedar Hill. Or, maybe she was angry because the CD V-717 hadn’t
clicked once during the Nuclear Winter and I kept insisting that Carl Sagan had been
right and we were having a Nuclear Winter. Or, maybe she was angry because I was
pushing the pickup really fast and going 55mph. Or, maybe she was still mad over the
bowl of Spumoni ice cream in the freezer I refused to eat.

Or, maybe she didn’t appreciate my sense of humor and the crack that Damon and
Derek didn’t have anything contagious. She explained to me all the way back from the
doctor’s office how many sacrifices she’d made for the boys and how they never sent
me Christmas Cards or anything. I made the crack when she told me I was only dream-
ing if I thought she’d move to Arkansas. She’d buy me an airplane ticket and I could visit
Derek in Arkansas. I said I wouldn’t go without her and they didn’t have anything conta-
gious. It was a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease, but I may recover, eventually.

265
Next Christmas, I’m just going to tell her not to spend any of my income on presents for
my boys. She can spend all of my income for presents for her girls. Amy is only my
daughter when she does something wrong. The boys are mine, all of the time, regard-
less of what they did, good or bad. We’re talking a mixed marriage here, hers, mine and
ours. It worked in the movies. Twice. Yours, Mine and Ours (1968) and With Six You
Get Eggroll (1968). It worked on TV, The Brady Bunch (1969); why didn’t it work for us?
It probably wasn’t supposed to. Up to her death, my first wife, a religious woman, had
been praying every day that Sharon’s and my marriage would not work. It may have
comforted her soul, but she died of lung cancer even though she didn’t smoke. Praying
will save your soul; you need a M14 to protect your body.

“Long time.”

“3 years.”

“How have you been?”

“Better.”

“Better than what?”

“Now. Why don’t you shut up and let me see your elephant gun.”

“Can I trust you?”

“God, I hope not.”

“What did you bring me?”

“A select fire M14 rifle with 7 magazines. I brought brass Robert and you can reload for
ammo.”

“Did you bring bullets, powder and primers?”

“No. If I was going to do that, I would have brought you new ammo.”

“Let me see your Colt.”

“Here. Have you hit Barstow yet?”

“Can’t get the fuel. How do you like the truck?”

“Not half as much as I like that H1 Alpha.”

266
“Wanna trade?”

“Wanna a fat lip?”

“I just asked.”

“I just answered. Steal anything from Wal-Mart lately?”

“Not since tomorrow, no.”

“Let’s go to Barstow, it is only 700 miles. We’ll leave the women here and Sharon can
tell Linda what a butthead I am and Linda can tell Sharon all about you.”

“What do we need at Barstow?”

“You need some 7.62×51mm ammo. I need some bouncing betties.”

“What do you need those for?”

“A while.” – It’s the same question as why. “I can give them back it they don’t blow up.”

“Well Gar-Bear are you sure you have enough gas?”

“I have plenty of gas, we eat lots of beans. I have about ⅔ of my diesel fuel left, too.”

“Who’s on first?”

“Have you heard from Clarence?”

“Nope.”

“John?”

“Nope.”

“Kevin?”

“Fortunately, no. You got a smoke?”

“I brought you 25 cartons.”

“Where did you steal those?”

“Wal-Mart, they used to have everything.”

267
“We have the same problem here. Wal-Mart isn’t what it used to be. Not since we went
shopping.”

“Why didn’t you steal smokes?”

“Somebody beat us to it.”

“Figures. You’re going to be late for your own funeral.”

“Is that a promise?”

“All I can promise to do is get you there early.”

You can tell we’re friends, right? I’m holding his Winchester model 70 African .458 rifle
and he has my SAA. Both are loaded. No shots have been fired. They make those
Surefire Suppressors in Kalifornia, but you knew that, right? The factory is only a couple
of hours from Barstow in Fountain Valley. I’m sure glad Fountain Valley didn’t take a di-
rect hit. Surefire also makes a suppressor for the M240B.

Emergency newsbreak:

7.0 - moment magnitude (Mw); Tuesday, June 14, 2005 at 07:50:54 PM (PDT). It was
off the northern California coast (Crescent City). The USGS issued a tsunami warning,
but cancelled it after an hour. The USGS knew better. Do you remember what I taught
you? That 7.0 earthquake isn’t “likely” to generate much of a tsunami; however, what if it
had been a 9.3? Sis’s fiction would be a reality. All of our horror stories about doom and
gloom can come true. Most of them will, eventually. You’d better wait on that generator;
the hurricane is still 5 miles off the coast. Using candles in the wind might be hard, but
hey…

Update: After grilling by the FOX News channel, USGS confessed that the movement in
the quake was lateral (slip-fault), not vertical. There is only a 5% chance that the earth-
quake was a precursor to something bigger. FOX News seemed disappointed.

The only tsunami to ever hit the continental US hit Crescent City after the 1964 Alaskan
Earthquake and killed 11 people. It took from 7:50pm until 8:14pm, 24 minutes, for
Crescent City to activate their sirens and begin to evacuate. The quake was maybe 90
miles away. How fast does a tsunami move? If it’s faster than 150mph, Crescent City
has a problem. A tsunami is not a single wave, but a series of waves that can travel
across the ocean at speeds of more than 500 miles an hour. In the deep ocean, hun-
dreds of miles can separate wave crests; many people have lost their lives during tsu-
namis after returning home thinking the waves had stopped. Oh, oh.

268
Now that Michael’s glove doesn’t fit, what are they going to report? No sweat, Geraldo
works for FOX; he’ll make up something. Did you see Al Capone’s safe? The stuff from
the Titanic? The map in the sand? Any questions?

We don’t have hurricanes or tsunamis in Arkansas, just humidity. We found fuel at a

truck stop in the Barstow area. Ron held them off with his elephant gun while I filled my
tanks. The guy insisted that he didn’t want any money; he just wanted us to leave. I
didn’t argue. The M-16 mine is a neat little gadget. I picked up a few extra; see Damon.

The M16A2 is a cylindrical, steel bodied, bounding Anti-personnel mine, which is de-
signed to wound or kill by fragmentation. The mine resembles a large tin can; it has a
crimped upper edge and a threaded fuze cavity offset from center on top of the body. A
tubular pronged fuze (M605 pull/pressure) is screwed into the cavity and the mine is
ready for use. Pull of 1.5 kg on a tripwire or pressure of 3.5 kg on one of three prongs
on top of the M605 actuates the mine. When actuated the mine bounds approximately
1.5 meters into the air and explodes, scattering fragmentation to a radius of 30 meters.
The mine has an emplaced life expectancy (70% chance of functioning as designed) of
8 years in temperate zones with clay soil and up to 12 years in a tropical environment.
The M16 series of bounding mines can be located visually or with metal detectors under
most field conditions. The M16A2 is the latest of the M16 series bounding mines, which
have been developed since the 1950’s. Earlier versions include the M16 and M16A1,
which are heavier and have the fuze cavity centered on top. The basic concept for
bounding mines was first used by the Germans in WWII and has been widely copied.
Present Status: Fielded.

Clinton lied, again. And you want to put her in office for 8 more years? Remember,
they’re a matched set. …and to the Democracy for which it stands. I’m a political crea-
ture, what can I say? I also know a little history. I can read, too – it says the right of the
people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. The NRA elected me to their NRA-
ILA Defender of the 2nd Amendment Award. Translation: they need money. I can spare
$20 for the mass produced certificate. They can put my name in the NRA-ILA Hall of
Freedom and make it easier for the ATF to find me. I can join that; all it takes is money.

Where was I, Barstow or Fountain Valley? Since we held up the truck stop after we got
back from Fountain Valley after we’d been to the Marine Corp Depot, we must be just
outside of Barstow going eastbound, pedal to the metal at 55mph. You get better fuel
economy at 55mph, or so Richard Nixon claimed. I didn’t know that the USMC intended
to field the M82A1 or the M107; I thought that those were Army programs. Both of the
weapons weighed more than Ron’s elephant gun. We each had two pair – the hand was
a draw. See how much fun ambiguous statements can be? We got Ron some of the
M993 ammo for his M14. The M993 is a 7.62-mm AP cartridge, which provides an AP
capability for the M60 machine gun, and the M24 sniper rifle. It works just fine in an

269
M240B and an M14. We also had some of the Raufoss .50 caliber ammo, in for a penny
(d), in for a pound (£); they could only lock us up once.

Sharon was anxious to leave because Ron and Linda smoked in every room of their
home. I slipped her a chill pill in some coffee; we stayed a while longer. Ron and I did
our 3 years of catching up on the way to and from the People’s Republik of Kalifornia.
Summary: same stuff, different day; some babies got born and some people died. He
had a SINCGARS now. I told him channel 1200 plus the date plus the military time in
whole hours. I explained what I meant by that, e.g., on the fifteenth of the month at
11pm, it was channel 1200+15+23 = 1238.

“Hey, Bubba, here’s a silencer for your rifle.”

“Ain’t they illegal?”

“No more than the rifle.”

“How many yu got?”

“‘nuff.” - 7 words. “Yu want some AP ammo for that rifle of your’n?” – 9 words.

“Ain’t they illegal?”

“I won’t tell if’n yu don’t.” - 10 words. Johnny Yuma was a rebel; he roamed through the
west… stealing stuff from the government (and Surefire, but not Ronnie Barrett).

“I done took 2 cases of rifles.”

“I done took 30 silencers. Yu can have 20 to pass out.” (24 less 2 for Derek, 1 for me
and 1 for Ron)

“Yu got xtree?”

“Nope.” – They work on any 7.62 caliber rifle. The only thing that varies is the FA mount
for the rifle.

“Dang it”

“Yep.” – It’s a very easy language to learn. Buying a Confederate Battle Flag is smarter
than learning the language, but learning the language heps. If you buy one, show it re-
spect; it’s an honorable flag.

270
Despite our concerns over people coming to Flippin, we didn’t have any serious prob-
lems. We buried the few that we had. Y’all come back, hear? Oh, you’re staying? That’s
ok; it’s a big field. They didn’t have a chance; we got to the Arsenal first, twice. Some-
body had picked over Barstow pretty good. We wanted what they didn’t. I can only as-
sume that they missed the M107s. We hadn’t been greedy on the rifles; we only took 4
of each. I miss living in Kalifornia. Not! Sharon just loved living on the San Andreas
Fault in 120° weather because it was dry heat. It gave her something else to bitch
about. I love my wife; however… Moving to Flippin with its humidity should have made
her ecstatic. No Virginia, I didn’t tell the Chinese to nuke the US; that’s just a rumor
started by my wife. I didn’t cause the tsunami that never happened off Cascadia either.

Do they give the condemned man factory-made cigarettes to go with his last meal? Just
curious, I smoke Kool’s Super Longs 100’s. Wait a minute, please; I’m on a coughing
jag. If’n the doctor says I’m going to live forever, I’ll kill him. My lab test said I was a
quart low. That’s why the doctor is looking for the sun. I have a brand spanking new
coal shovel. I shot my M14 rifle at that last bunch that came into town insisting we hep
them out. I missed; it must have been over 100-feet. I’m real good at doing the day
watch thing. Sharon heps. Her nose is about 3’ long. That heps, too.

The latest concern is that the earthquakes in Chile, Alaska and Cascadia during the last
week are significant. I already knew that. They impressed the hell out of people in Chile,
Alaska and Crescent City. Tuesday’s quake interested seismologists studying so-called
trigger earthquakes because it came after several significant quakes struck in recent
days. On Sunday, a 5.2 magnitude quake hit 20 miles south of Palm Springs in Anza.
On Monday night, a 7.8 magnitude quake hit Chile, killing at least 11 people. On Tues-
day morning, a magnitude 6.8 quake struck the Aleutian Islands, both preceded and fol-
lowed by smaller quakes.

Why do they call it the Ring of Fire? Probably because they don’t called it the Ring of
Earth, Water and Air. Those were the four original elements before they invented scien-
tists. Aristotle had 5; he added the aeather, which was anything that wasn’t one of the
other 4. They taught you that in school, right? What do they teach in school these days?
It sure isn’t reading, writing and arithmetic. They teach English as a second language to
people who won’t use it anyway. ¿Si?

A bomb detonates from inside a Buick station wagon Saturday alongside a runway at
the Charles City airport. The detonation was part of a simulation that placed area law
enforcement agencies, as well as fire and rescue personnel, in position to deal with a
real terrorism attack. While the activity was staged, officers treated it like an actual
event, simulating step-by-step the actions that would have taken place in the event of
the real thing, from hostage negotiation to the proper handling of a deadly small pox vi-
rus.

“It just started raining phone calls,” said Huntington Beach Police Watch Cmdr. Sgt.
Craig Bryant. “They wanted to know what to do, where to go, what to do with the dog….
It was very hectic.” – I hope no one got wet; will a towel absorb a phone call?

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LONDON – In March 2002, the Bush administration had just begun to publicly raise the
possibility of confronting Iraq. But behind the scenes, officials already were deeply en-
gaged in seeking ways to justify an invasion, newly revealed British memos indicate. –
Sorry, I couldn’t hep myself.

WASHINGTON – Erasing a lingering financial burden, former President Clinton and

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) in 2004 paid the last legal debts that arose from
investigations of them during their White House years, a financial statement released
Tuesday showed. – Keep saving.

A day after the biggest legal defeat of his career, Santa Barbara County District Attor-
ney Tom Sneddon was still smarting. After hearing jurors speak on morning talk shows,
Sneddon said in a lengthy interview that he was disappointed at the way evidence was
considered. He said jurors set such a high bar that his case was doomed from the start.
– His eyes were bigger than his stomach.

Why do you suppose Michael Jackson looked almost as unhappy leaving the Santa Ma-
ria courthouse with 10 acquittals in his pocket as he did when he walked in maybe 45
minutes earlier with 10 criminal charges over his head?

He’s a smart businessman; even in his relief, I expect he was scanning his options:
What to do after an acquittal that arguably leaves him with fewer good choices than
other people have after a conviction?

The Arbuckle option: Slapstick master Roscoe Arbuckle – “Fatty” to silent-film fans –
was tried three times and finally acquitted on charges of killing a “starlet” (the word had
quote marks around it even then) during a weekend bender. Nonetheless, he was dam-
aged goods. Even his run-of-the-mill eccentricities – like an extra-big Pierce-Arrow to
make him look daintier – were marshaled as evidence of suspect character. He wound
up directing two-reelers under the pseudonym Will B. Goodrich – Will B. Good, get it? –
and later just William Goodrich.

And what of post-acquittal career prospects for Jackson, whose eccentricities tip over
into the diagnostic? The now-what speculation is that the Jackson Five could reunite for
a “family values” overseas tour. Or Jackson could play Vegas, if Vegas will have him.

Whatever his oddities, Jackson is immensely talented, and the ultimate Arbuckle incar-
nation would be offstage, off-mike – as a music producer.

The Colson option: Charles Colson was a Nixon White House lawyer who went to pris-
on for his part in the Watergate crimes. There, he found Jesus and began a Christian
counseling program. Jackson, unconfined, might practice his Jehovah’s Witness faith

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more publicly, as a gesture of sincerity. Answer your doorbell – it might be Jackson with
a copy of “The Watchtower.”

The Martha Stewart option: Single glove or double oven mitts, both Stewart and Jack-
son have proclaimed their innocence. But Stewart’s was a victimless crime, and prison
gave her a martyr’s garnish. Jackson stood accused of distasteful acts with boys; a
couple of the jurors even believed he’d probably molested “somebody somewhere….”

Stewart acknowledged that she came across as haughty and was not “the nicest person
on Earth.” If Jackson’s stock is not to plunge further, he had better drop the “who, me?”
hubris and listen to Jesse Jackson and Project Islamic Hope’s Najee Ali, who have said
Jackson needs to wise up and get those boys out of his bedroom. As a Chicago Sun-
Times headline read, “Congratulations, Michael, Now Please, Get Help.”

The King Edward/Wallis Simpson option: Jackson could just beat it. Did you see all
those French flags his fans were waving outside the courthouse? The land that wel-
comed an ex-king of England would surely welcome the exiled King of Pop. He could
shed Neverland, saying it now has too many unhappy memories (not to mention unhap-
py cash flow) and hike himself off to Old Europe, where he is still popular in a way he
has ceased to be here.

The O.J. option: Not that we’re going to hear about Jackson pledging to find the real
molester. Simpson’s acquittal put him back in the black – into the embracing fold of Afri-
can Americans. Jackson, whose mirror has been telling him that he is the fairest one of
all, has for a long time been a stand-up guy at black entertainment events and has writ-
ten checks to African causes. Jesse Jackson remarked that neither he nor the singer
believed that the prosecution’s motives were racial. Yet, grandiosely, Jackson’s website
ranks his acquittal date among such historic events as “Martin Luther King is born” and
“Nelson Mandela is freed.”

The Donna Rice/Monica Lewinsky option: The woman in Gary Hart’s lap and the wom-
an who fiddled with Bill Clinton’s lap both managed to cash in on infamy. Rice endorsed
“No Excuses” jeans, and Lewinsky became a poster girl for Jenny Craig. Don’t go naked
waiting for a Jackson clothing line (prep schools already have a lock on that blazer-and-
badge thing), nor for a Jackson “Jesus Juice” bottled beverage. But there is that African
animal theme park notion. He’s already got the livestock.

The Richard M. Nixon option: Get in front of the media and blame your win (loss) all on
them. Tell them they won’t have Michael Jackson to kick around anymore; and then, run
for President in 2008. Bring your dog, Checkers along, they like that.

The John W. Dean III option: Write dozens of books trying to guess who really was in
bed with you and be wrong every time. All of Jackson’s children, or so I’ve been told,
were conceived by in-vitro fertilization.

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The last-stop option: If ever you hear a voice saying “Michael Jackson to block,” you’ll
know that Jackson’s star is truly in eclipse, for he will have moved from Neverland to
Never, Ever Again Land: “The Hollywood Squares.” – Adapted from an LA Times © arti-
cle.

That’s all folks. I really do quit this time. I haven’t run out of things to say but it’s all just
male bovine feces. I didn’t take any offense, not that anyone cares, and I thought it was
an astute observation. Life is nothing but male bovine feces and then you die, hopefully.

© 2011, Gary D. Ott

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