all the words on the record

ABSOLUTELY FREE
THE COMPLETE LIBRETTO
ABSOLUTELY FREE

THE M. O. I. AMERICAN PAGEANT

both complete librettos to accompany the VERVE recording V/V6-5013 by THE MOTHERS of
INVENTION.

words & music by FRANK ZAPPA

© 1967 FRANK ZAPPA MUSIC BMI

a subsidiary of
Third Story Music BMI

FOREWORD

Music has always shown how people think and feel, according to John Tasker Howard.
He is probably right. The music of the MOTHERS speaks of the feelings of what might
be described as THE VAST MINORITY. The feelings of the people on the fringe of
everything . . . the ones who don't care if they're IN or OUT . . . don't care if they're HIP,
HEP, SWINGIN' or ZORCH. This is the audience the MOTHERS want to reach . . .
those few who have the power within themselves to cause or motiviate social change but
have never used it for one reason or another. If you are reading this and understand it
(even if you have short hair and watch TV 18 hours a day), it is time that you realized
WHO and WHAT YOU ARE. It is time you realized what the words to our songs mean.

This album was recorded the week before Thanksgiving, November 1966 in Los
Angeles at the Sunset-Highland Studios of T.T.G. Inc., in a series of 4 sessions (about 25
studio hours). It was edited and re-mixed in New York City at the MGM Studios in 5
sessions (about 35 studio hours) the following week. The album was finally released
around May 26, 1967 . . . the reason for the delay? Partly because of this libretto. The
original plan was to include within the album, the words in this brochure. The record
company attempted to censor the words and a long involved discussion ensued. We were
forced to manufacture this product.
The music itself took several years to compose (AMERICA DRINKS & GOES HOME
was written in 1964 . . . most of the other segments were written before or shortly after
FREAK OUT, our first album, was released in 1966). We hope that this material will
help you to enjoy our work on a more personal level.

Thank you

Frank Zappa
for the MOTHERS of Invention
 ABSOLUTELY FREE

(#1 In a Series of UNDERGROUND ORATORIOS)

SIDE ONE (total time 19:34)

EPISODE 1: "PLASTIC PEOPLE"

FRANK: Ladies & Gennelmen . . . the PRESIDENT of the
UNITED STATES!
RAY: Fella Americans...DOOT, DOOT, DOOT...
FRANK: He's been sick.
RAY: DOOT! DOOT!
FRANK: And I think his wife is gonna bring him some chicken
soup.
FRANK & RAY: PLASTIC PEOPLE
OH BABY, NOW...
YOU'RE SUCH A DRAG
FRANK: (I know it's hard to defend an unpopular policy every
once in a while...)
FRANK & RAY: PLASTIC PEOPLE
OH BABY, NOW
YOU'RE SUCH A DRAG
FRANK: (And there's this guy from the CIA and he's creeping
around Laurel Canyon...)
A FINE LITTLE GIRL SHE PAINTS HER FACE
SHE WAITS FOR ME WITH PLASTIC GOO
SHE'S AS PLASTIC AND WRECKS HER HAIR
AS SHE CAN BE WITH SOME SHAMPOO
FRANK & RAY: PLASTIC PEOPLE
OH BABY, NOW
YOU'RE SUCH A DRAG
FRANK: (I dunno...sometimes I just get tired of ya, honey...
it's - - - Ah - - - your hair spray...or something.)
FRANK & RAY: PLASTIC PEOPLE
OH BABY!
YOU'RE SUCH A DRAG
FRANK: (I hear the sound of marching feet...down SUNSET
BLVD. to CRESCENT HEIGHTS, and there, at PAN-
DORA'S BOX, we are confronted with...a vast quan-
tity of PLASTIC PEOPLE.)
TAKE A DAY THEN GO HOME
AND WALK AROUND AND CHECK YOURSELF
WATCH THE NAZIS YOU THINK WE'RE
RUN YOUR TOWN SINGING
'BOUT SOMEONE ELSE
...but you're
FRANK & RAY: PLASTIC PEOPLE!
ROY: Woooooooooooooooooooh!
FRANK & RAY: OH BABY, NOW...
YOU'RE SUCH A DRAG
RAY & ROY: Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooooooooh!
FRANK & RAY: ME SEE A NEON I'M SURE THAT LOVE
MOON ABOVE WILL NEVER BE
I SEARCHED FOR A PRODUCT OF
YEARS PLASTICITY
I FOUND NO LOVE A PRODUCT OF
PLASTICITY
A PRODUCT OF
PLASTICITY:
FRANK: PLASTIC! PLASTIC PEOPLE!
PLA-HA-HA-HA-HA...
 PLASTIC!
RAY: You are. Your foot. Your hair. Your nose. Your arms. You
suck. You love. You are. Your being is...you're PLASTIC
...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...plastic pepples...
FRANK: A prune is not a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable...
makes it O.K. PLASTIC PEOPLE . . . PLASTIC
PEOPLE!
RAY: You dream of...you think only of...you eat...you
are...
FRANK: Ooo-Hoo-Hoo...etc.
RAY: PURPLE PRANCING. PLASTIC PEOPLE:
FRANK: Pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-peep!

EPISODE 2a: "THE DUKE OF PRUNES"

introduction & allegro (2:12)

RAY: (first time slowly...second time fastly)

A MOONBEAM THROUGH THE PRUNE
IN JUNE
REVEALS YOUR CHEST
I SEE YOUR LOVELY BEANS
AND IN THAT MAGIC GO-KART
I BITE YOUR NECK
THE CHEESE I HAVE FOR YOU
MY DEAR
IS REAL
AND VERY NEW!
FRANK: (after the second time fastly) Doh-Doh-Doh Doh-Doh
Doh!
RAY: PRUNE!
FRANK: Pah-Da-Dahhh!
RAY: IF IT IS A REAL PRUNE...
FRANK: Pah-Da-Dahhh!
RAY: KNOWS NO CHEESE!
FRANK: Chunka Chunka Chunka...
RAY: AND STANDS...
FRANK: Oh No-o-o-o!
RAY: TALLER & STRONGER AND I KNOW
THAN ANY TREE THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU
OR BUSH! WILL GROW & GROW &
GROW
I THINK
AND SO MY LOVE
I OFFER YOU
A LOVE THAT IS STRONG
A PRUNE THAT IS TRUE!

EPISODE 2b: AMNESIA VIVACE

(1:01)

(The dashing Duke is on his way home from a foot-ball game when he tries to make
it with some cheerleaders who beat him in the face & armpits near the parking lot
which leads to amnesia.)

RAY: LA LA LALA LA LA LALALA LAH LAH LAH LA LA

LA LA LA LA OOOOOOOOH!
FRANK: CHUNKA CHUNKA CHUNKA
RAY: My darling . . . you mean so very much to me . . . I love
you so deeply!
FRANK: LA LA LA LA LA LA etc.
DUKE, DUKE, DUKE
DUKE OF PRUNES
PRUNES
RAY: I'll never forget you, my darling . . . Oh I suppose I will
eventually . . . In fact, I've already forgotten you . . . What
was your name? Nice to see you again.
FRANK: AND YOU'LL BE MY DOUCHESS
MY DOUCHESS OF PRUNES

EPISODE 2c: TEMPO II--

THE DUKE REGAINS HIS CHOPS
RAY: A MOONBEAM THROUGH THE PRUNE
IN JUNE
REVEALS YOUR CHEST
I SEE YOUR LOVELY BEANS
AND IN THAT MAGIC GO-KART
I BITE YOUR NECK
THE CHEESE I HAVE FOR YOU
MY DEAR
IS REAL
AND VERY NEW!
FRANK: NEW CHEESE!
RAY: PRUNES!
FRANK & ROY: Pah-Da-Dahhh!
RAY: IF THEY ARE FRESH PRUNES...
FRANK & ROY: Pah-Da-Dahhh!
RAY: KNOW NO CHEESE!
FRANK: Chunka Chunka Chinky Chunky Stinky Stanky...
RAY: AND THEY JUST LIE THERE
DROWNING & SICKENING
AND IT'S JUST...I DUNNO
OH-H-H-H-H!
AND I KNOW
I THINK
THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU
WILL NEVER END
Well...MAYBE
FRANK: WHAH!
RAY: AND SO MY LOVE
FRANK: I OFFER YOU
RAY: A LOVE THAT IS STRONG
A PRUNE THAT IS TRUE!
ROY: Ha Ha!
FRANK: This is the exciting part...
RAY: It's like the SUPREMES...
FRANK: See the way it builds upS BABY BABY
BABY BABY
RAY: D'ya feel it? MY PRUNE IS YOURS,
MY LOVE
MY CHEESE FOR YOU
FRANK: MY BABY PRUNE
MY BABY CHEESE etc., etc.
RAY: YOU KNOW I DO
MY DEAR
I LOVE YOU etc., etc.

EPISODE 3a: "CALL ANY VEGETABLE"

(2:19)
RAY: CHEESY, CHEESY!
FRANK: (This is a song about vegetables . . . they keep you
regular; they're real good for ya.)
RAY: CALL ANY VEGETABLE
CALL IT BY NAME
CALL ONE TODAY
WHEN YOU GET OFF THE TRAIN
CALL ANY VEGETABLE
AND THE CHANCES ARE GOOD
OOOOH! THAT THE VEGETABLE
WILL RESPOND TO YOU
FRANK: (Some people don't go for prunes . . . I dunno . . . I've
always found that if they . . . )
RAY: CALL ANY VEGETABLE
PICK UP YOUR PHONE
THINK OF A VEGETABLE
LONELY AT HOME
CALL ANY VEGETABLE
AND THE CHANCES ARE GOOD
THAT A VEGETABLE WILL RESPOND TO YOU-HOOOO
JIM: RUTA-BAY-AY-AYGA RUTA-BAY-AY-AYGA RUTA-
BAYYYYY...
FRANK: (A prune is not a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable.)
RAY: NO ONE WILL KNOW
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LET 'EM KNOW
FRANK & RAY: NO ONE WILL KNOW
'LESS IT'S YOU THAT MIGHT TELL 'EM SO
RAY: CALL AND THEY'LL COME TO YOU
COVERED WITH DEW
FRANK & RAY: VEGETABLES DREAM
OF RESPONDING TO YOU
RAY: STANDING THERE
SHINY & PROUD BY YOUR SIDE
FRANK & RAY: HOLDING YOUR HAND
WHILE THE NEIGHBORS DECIDE
WHY IS A VEGETABLE
SOMETHING TO HIDE?
YAR-R-R-R-R-G-H!

EPISODE 3b: "INVOCATION & RITUAL DANCE of the YOUNG

PUMPKIN

(6:57)

(A young pumpkin sacrifices herself dancing crazy and sweats: wiping it on the desk
leading to amnesia.)

EPISODE 3c: "SOFT-SELL CONCLUSION & ENDING of SIDE. #1"

(1:40)

FRANK: A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the

VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, "What can i say?
What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?" But
the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and
tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS,
WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS
AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A
NEW RAPPORT! You and your new little green & yellow
buddies . . . grooving together! OH NO! Maintaining
your coolness together! Worshipping together in the
 church of your choice! ONLY IN AMERICA! Woh-oh-oh-
ah-agh-h . . .
CALL ANY VEGETABLE
CALL IT BY NAME
YOU GOTTA CALL ONE TODAY
WHEN YOU GET OFF THE TRAIN
CALL ANY VEGETABLE
AND THE CHANCES ARE GOOD
AR-R-H-R THAT THE VEGETABLE
WILL RESPOND TO YOU...
OH NO! Can you see them responding?
The PUMPKIN is breathing hard:
HUFFA PUFFA HUFFA PUFFA etc.
what a pumpkin . . .

THE M. O. I. AMERICAN PAGEANT

(#2 In a Series of UNDERGROUND ORATORIOS)

SIDE TWO (total time 18:35)

EPISODE 1: "AMERICA DRINKS"

(3:40)

FRANK: 1-2-Buckle my shoe...

RAY: Da Doop Doop Doop
FRANK & RAY: DA-DOOP DOOP DOOP
DA-DOOPY DOOPY DOOPY DOOPY DIDDLY
DOOPY etc.
FRANK: OH NO! OH NO-O-O!
RAY: I TRIED TO FIND
HOW MY HEART
COULD BE SO BLIND, (wanna buy some pencils?) DEAR
HOW COULD I BE FOOLED
JUST LIKE THE REST
YOU CAME ON STRONG
WITH YOUR FAST CAR
AND YOUR CLASS RING
SAD EYES & YOUR BRAN FLAKES
I FELL FOR THE WHOLE THING
I DON'T REGRET
HAVING MET
UP WITH A GIRL WHO BREAKS
HEARTS LIKE THEY WERE
NOTHING AT ALL (Here's one for MOTHER!)
I'VE DONE IT TOO
AND I KNOW
JUST WHAT IT FEELS LIKE...

(There follows a magnificent orchestral ejaculation during which a few of you might
fancy a peanut butter & jelly sandwich . . . THEN:)

EPISODE 2: "STATUS BACK BABY"

(2:52)

GROUP: Ooo-Ooo-Ooo etc., etc., AH-AH WA WA WA WA WA WA

WAH!
FRANK & RAY: I'M LOSIN' STATUS AT THE HIGH SCHOOL
I USED TO THINK THAT IT WAS MY
SCHOOL...
GROUP: BOW WOW WOW WOW!
FRANK & RAY: I WAS THE KING OF EVERY SCHOOL
ACTIVITY
BUT THAT'S NO MORE...OH MAMA!
WHAT WILL COME OF ME?
THE OTHER NIGHT WE PAINTED
POSTERS
THEY PLAYED SOME RECORDS BY THE
COASTERS
GROUP: BOW WOW WOW WOW!
FRANK & RAY: A BUNCH OF POM-POM GIRLS LOOKED
DOWN THEIR NOSE AT ME. THEY HAD
PAINTED TONS OF POSTERS; I HAD
PAINTED THREE. I HEAR THE SECRET
WHISPERS EVERYWHERE I GO
MY SCHOOL SPIRIT IS AT AN ALL-TIME
LOW...BLA-A-A-A!

(Rockin' sax solo . . . swingin' groovy guitar solo with group mumblings & clean fun . .
. orgasmic ensemble statement . . . This whole section is very ZORCH & Solid
Jackson . . . THEN: THE REST OF THE SONG)

FRANK & RAY: I'M LOSING STATUS AT THE HIGH SCHOOL

I USED TO THINK THAT IT WAS MY
SCHOOL...
GROUP: BOW WOW WOW WOW!
FRANK & RAY: EVERYONE IN TOWN KNOWS I'M A HAND-
SOME FOOTBALL STAR
I SING & DANCE & SPRAY MY HAIR &
DRIVE A SHINY CAR
I'M FRIENDLY & I'M CHARMING...I BE-
LONG TO DE MOLAY
I'M GONNA TRY LIKE MAD TO GET MY
STATUS BACK TODAY!
STATUS BACK BABY
STATUS BACK BABY
STATUS BACK BABY
STATUS BACK BABY

EPISODE 3: "UNCLE BERNIE'S FARM"

(2:09)

RAY: I'm dreaming...

FRANK: OH NO-O-O!
THERE'S A BOMB TO BLOW YO MOMMY UP
A BOMB FOR YOUR DADDY TOO
RAY: (Ouch.)
FRANK: A BABY DOLL THAT BURPS & PEES
A CASE OF AIRPLANE GLUE
JIM & ROY: A HUNGRY PLASTIC TROLL
RAY: TO SCARF YO BUDDY'S ARM
FRANK: A BOX OF UGLY PLASTIC THINGS MARKED:
GROUP: UNCLE BERNIE'S FARM!
FRANK: THERE'S A LITTLE PLASTIC CONGRESS
THERE'S A NATION YOU CAN BUY
RAY: (I'll take two.)
FRANK: THERE'S A DOLL THAT LOOKS LIKE MOMMY
SHE'LL DO ANYTHING BUT CRY
RAY: (I seen her.)
FRANK: THERE'S A DOLL THAT LOOKS LIKE DADDY
GROUP: HE'S A FUNNY LITTLE MAN
FRANK: PUSH A BUTTON & ASK FOR MONEY
GROUP: THERE'S A DOLLAR IN HIS HAND
RAY: (Check his wallet.)
GROUP: WE GOTTA SEND SANTA CLAUS BACK TO THE
RESCUE MISSION
CHRISTMAS DON'T MAKE IT NO MORE
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT MURDER & DESTRUCTION
SCREAM THE TOYS IN EVERY STORE
FRANK: (Think this'll sell in New York?)
THERE'S A MAN WHO RUNS THE COUNTRY
THERE'S A MAN WHO TRIED TO THINK
AND THEY'RE ALL MADE OUT OF PLASTIC
WHEN THEY MELT THEY START TO STINK
THERE'S A BOOK WITH SMILING CHILDREN
GROUP: NEARLY DEAD WITH CHRISTMAS JOYS!
FRANK: AND SMILING IN HIS OFFICE
GROUP: IS THE CREEP WHO MAKES THE TOYS...
FRANK: (We got this car: when it hits the wall you see the guy
dying...got the little plastic puddles of blood...)
RAY: I'M DREAMING...
GROUP: (mumbling free association) Plastic intestines you can
stuff back in his stomach . . . I've got bombs. I've got
rockets, I've got a stilson wrench & plastic brass
knuckles; plastic tape recorder & sound effects . . . I've
got a '39 Chevvy . . .

EPISODE 4: "SON OF SUZY CREAMCHEESE"

(1:33)

FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE

OH MAMA, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
SUZY YOU WERE SUCH A SWEETIE
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: ONCE YOU WERE MY ONE & ONLY
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: BLEW YOUR MIND ON TOO MUCH KOOL-
AID
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: TOOK MY STASH & LEFT ME LONELY
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE
OH BABY, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
ROY: YEA-YEA-YEA-YEA-YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE
OH MAMA, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
GOT TO FIND MY SUZY CREAMCHEESE
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: THINK I'LL GO AND START MY CAR
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: REALLY DIG HER; SHE'S SO FREAKY
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: HEARD THE HEAT KNOWS WHERE YOU
ARE
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE
OH BABY, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
ROY: YEA-YEA-YEA-YEA-YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE
OH MAMA, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
CRUISED THE STRIP & WENT TO
CANTER'S
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE, PLEASE COME
HOME
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: VITO SAYS SHE SPLIT FOR BERKELEY
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: PROTEST MARCHING STYROFOAM
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE
OH BABY, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
ROY: YEA-YEA-YEA-YEA-YEAH!
FRANK & RAY: SUZY CREAMCHEESE
OH MAMA, NOW...
WHAT'S GOT INTO YA?
GROUP: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

EPISODE 5: "BROWN SHOES DON'T MAKE IT"

(7:26)

GROUP: BROWN SHOES

DON'T MAKE IT
BROWN SHOES
DON'T MAKE IT
QUIT SCHOOL
WHY FAKE IT?
BROWN SHOES
DON'T MAKE IT...
RAY: TV DINNER BY THE POOL
ROY: WATCH YOUR BROTHER GROW A BEARD
JIM: GOT ANOTHER YEAR OF SCHOOL
RAY: YOU'RE OKAY--HE'S TOO WEIRD
FRANK & RAY: BE A PLUMBER
HE'S A BUMMER
HE'S A BUMMER
EVERY SUMMER
RAY: BE A LOYAL PLASTIC ROBOT FOR A WORLD THAT
DOESN'T CARE...
FRANK: SMILE AT EVERY UGLY
YADA YADA YADA
RAY: SHINE ON YOUR SHOES & CUT YOUR HAIR
FRANK: BE A JOIK
GROUP: AND GO T' WOIK
FRANK: BE A JOIK
GROUP: AND GO T' WOIK
FRANK: BE A JOIK
GROUP: AND GO T' WOIK
FRANK: BE A JOIK
GROUP: AND GO T' WOIK
FRANK: DO YOUR JOB & DO IT RIGHT
GROUP: LIFE'S A BALL
FRANK: TV TONIGHT...
FRANK & RAY: DO YOU LOVE IT?
 DO YOU HATE IT?
THERE IT IS...
THE WAY YOU MADE IT...
GROUP: YARRRRRRRRRRRGH-H-H!
FRANK, RAY & ROY: A WORLD OF SECRET HUNGERS
PERVERTING THE MEN WHO MAKE
YOUR LAWS
EVERY DESIRE IS HIDDEN AWAY
FRANK: IN A DRAWER...IN A DESK
BY A NAUGAHYDE CHAIR
ON A RUG WHERE THEY WALK AND DROOL
PAST THE GIRLS IN THE OFFICE
RAY: HRATCHE-PLCHE
HRATCHE-PLCHE
HRATCHE-PLCHE
HRATCHE-PLCHE
FRANK: WE SEE IN THE BACK OF THE CITY HALL MIND
THE DREAM OF A GIRL ABOUT THIRTEEN
OFF WITH HER CLOTHES AND INTO A BED
WHERE SHE TICKLES HIS FANCY ALL NIGHT
LONNNNNNNNNG
HIS WIFE'S ATTENDING AN ORCHID SHOW
SHE SQUEALED FOR A WEEK TO GET HIM TO GO
FRANK, RAY & ROY: BUT BACK IN THE BED, HIS TEEN-
AGE QUEEN
FRANK: IS ROCKING & ROLLING & ACTING OBSCENE
RAY: BABY BABY
HRATCHE-PLCHE HRATCHE-PLCHE
BABY BABY
HRATCHE-PLCHE HRATCHE-PLCHE
AND HE LOVES IT! HE LOVES IT! IT CURLS UP HIS
TOES
SHE BITES HIS FAT NECK AND IT LIGHTS UP HIS
NOSE
BUT HE CANNOT BE FOOLED, OLD CITY HALL FRED
SHE'S NASTY! SHE'S NASTY! SHE DIGS IT IN BED!

(THE ORCHESTRA SOCKS IT TO YOU)

RAY: DO IT AGAIN AND DO IT SOME MORE

THAT DOES IT BY GOLLY, IT'S NASTY FOR SURE
NASTY NASTY NASTY, NASTY NASTY NASTY
FRANK: (only thirteen and she knows how to nasty...)
FRANK, RAY & ROY: SHE'S A DIRTY YOUNG MIND
CORRUPTED, CORRODED
WELL SHE'S THIRTEEN TODAY
AND I HEAR SHE GETS LOADED
FRANK: P-PUM-M-MUM-M-MUM-M-MUM
P-PUM-M-MUM-M-MUM-M-MUM
P-BUM
FRANK: IF SHE WERE MY DAUGHTER, I'D...
SUZY CREAMCHEESE: WHAT WOULD YOU DO DADDY?
FRANK: IF SHE WERE MY DAUGHTER, I'D...
SUZY CREAMCHEESE: WHAT WOULD YOU DO DADDY?
FRANK: IF SHE WERE MY DAUGHTER, I'D...
SUZY CREAMCHEESE: WHAT WOULD YOU DO DADDY?
GROUP: SMOTHER MY DAUGHTER IN CHOCOLATE SYRUP
AND STRAP HER ON AGAIN, OH BABY!
SMOTHER THAT GIRL IN CHOCOLATE SYRUP
AND STRAP HER ON AGAIN
FRANK: SHE'S A TEEN-AGE BABY AND SHE TURNS ME ON
I'D LIKE TO MAKE HER DO A NASTY ON THE
WHITE HOUSE LAWN
GROUP: GONNA SMOTHER THAT GIRL IN CHOCOLATE
 SYRUP--AND BOOGIE TILL THE COWS COME HOME
RAY: TIME TO GO HOME--MADGE IS ON THE PHONE
FRANK: GOTTA MEET THE GURNEY'S
AND A DOZEN GREY ATTORNEYS
JIM: TV DINNER BY THE POOL
I'M SO GLAD I FINISHED SCHOOL
GROUP: LIFE IS SUCH A BALL
I RUN THE WORLD FROM CITY HALL!
FRENETIC MOTRICITY FRENETIC MOTRICITY

EPISODE 6: "AMERICA DRINKS & GOES HOME"

(2:43)

RAY: Here's a special request...hope you'll enjoy it!

I TRIED TO FIND I DON'T REGRET
HOW MY HEART HAVING MET
COULD BE SO BLIND, UP WITH A GIRL WHO
DEAR BREAKS HEARTS
HOW COULD I BE FOOLED LIKE THEY WERE
JUST LIKE THE REST NOTHING AT ALL
YOU CAME ON STRONG I'VE DONE IT TOO
WITH YOUR FAST CAR AND I KNOW
AND YOUR CLASS RING JUST WHAT IT FEELS
SOFT VOICE AND YOUR LIKE
SAD EYES AND
I FELL FOR THE WHOLE JUST LIKE I SAID
THING THERE'S NO REGRETS
. . . Well, it's about time to close . . . I hope you've had
as much fun as we have. Don't forget the jam session
Sunday . . . MANDY TENSION will be by, playing his
xylophone troupe. It's really been a lot of fun. Monday
night is the dance contest night: THE TWIST CONTEST
. . . we're gonna give away peanut butter & jelly & ba-
loney samwiches for all of ya. IT REALLY HAS BEEN
FUN. I hope we've played your requests . . . the songs
you like to hear . . . LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL! Drink
it up, folks. Wonnerful. Nice to see you, Bob . . . how's
it goin'? How's the kids? Wonnerful. Nice to see ya. Yes.
BILL BAILEY? Oh . . . we'll get to that tomorrow night.
Yeah. CARAVAN (with a drum sola)? Right. Yeah . . .
we'll do that. Wonnerful. Nice to see you again. Yeah.
LA LA LA LA LAH-H-H-H!
DOWN AT THE POMPADOUR A-GO-GO
LA LA LA LA LAH-H-H-H!
VO DO DEE OH PEE PEE
SHOOBE DOOT-N-DAH-DAH-DAH
YA DA DA-A-A-A-H-H-H-H-H!
NA NYA DA DA DA DA DAH-H-H-H-H-H!
Nite all.