"WRITING THE POLITICAL SPEECH"

PRESENTATION

TO

DEMOCRATIC COMMUNICATION STAFF: US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

BY

BOB LEHRMAN

LEHRMAN COMMUNICATIONS

RAYBURN 2167

FEBRUARY 13, 2018

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Hi, everyone:

I'm happy last year's presentation by me and Eric Schnure went so well, Jessica Gail suggested we do it
again. I spent almost five years working for Democrats on the Hill. I wrote 1-minutes, other floor
speeches, keynotes, tributes, commencements, stumps, and op-eds. I learned a lot. I'll talk about
some of that, today.

But describing how speeches work doesn't do anyone much good, any more than giving you a lecture
about how to hit a forehand in tennis turns you into Roger Federer. You have to watch others -- and hit
a zillion balls.

That's the point of this workbook. In it, you'll see examples about structure, including the structure I
suggest: Monroe's Motivated Sequence. You'll see exercises designed to fix some of the problems.

Naturally, we won't cover everything in here. We will do the exercises for Language (p. 3), examine
Monroe's Motivated Sequence (p. 11) including Cong. Crowley's brilliant 2016 convention speech (p.
21), and try the exercise for One-Minutes (p. 25). What we don't get to you can read later.

And if you have questions we don't cover today -- don't hesitate to e-mail them to me, at
RALehrman@AOL.com.

Bob Lehrman

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LANGUAGE

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 LANGUAGE: MAKE IT UNDERSTANDABLE—AND
MEMORABLE

EXERCISE 1: This exercise, tests your ability in four areas: making language colloquial, economical,
accessible, and concrete.

1. MAKING LANGUAGE COLLOQUIAL:

This is the substance of what Walter Mondale, a candidate for President, said in his 1984
Democratic Convention acceptance speech—but not what he said. Let’s see how close you can
come to what he said by rewriting it in colloquial language.

For those making less than $30,000 a year, taxes were

actually increased by the tax cuts of Ronald Reagan.

There were substantial increases in taxes levied for social

security, gasoline, and other state and local taxes as a

result of those decreases at the federal level.

2. MAKING LANGUAGE LESS WORDY:

Here is the opening of a recent speech given by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton – possibly
from talking points rather than just text. Can you take this 223 word opening, and make it crisp
by eliminating 25%?

Well, good afternoon, everyone. I think we have just wrapped up a very

productive conference and we have seen the results of cooperation in the

international community on a number of very important issues. I want to

thank Prime Minister Brown and Foreign Secretary Miliband, the

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 Government of Afghanistan, and the United Nations for bringing us all

together and sponsoring this important meeting.

And I think that what we have seen is a global challenge that is being met

with a global response. I especially thank the countries that have committed

additional troops, leading with our host country, the United Kingdom, but

including Italy, Germany, Romania. We also are grateful to all those who

made their contributions known today. There are other countries such as

Russia, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, who are providing air space rights and

other transit assistance.

3. MAKING LANGUAGE ACCESSIBLE.

This paragraph comes from Professor Elvin Lim’s book, The Anti-Intellectual Presidency, a book
arguing that political speech has been dumbed down too much for presidents to create cogent
arguments. Flesch-Kincaid tells us that he has written this 37-word sentence at a 12 th grade level—
meaning only a third of Americans could easily understand it. He has also used passive voice. Can you
rewrite it making the same points, at the same length, at an 8 th grade level, with 0% passive?

Presidential rhetoric today is linguistically simplistic, short on logos, disingenuous on

ethos, and long on pathos because the White House speechwriting office was created

and evolved in a way that facilitated the rise of the anti-intellectual presidency.

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4. MAKING LANGUAGE CONCRETE:

Closing her remarks at the National Women’s Law Center dinner in 2010, actress and activist Geena
Davis wanted to remind people of the urgency of a treaty about the global rights of women. Here’s the
substance of what she said—but not the words she used.

Our work is urgent because of women around the world who seek education,
freedom, good health for their families, fairness in the workforce.

Can you use research to find the concrete detail that would make those abstract points move listeners?
Limit: 100 words.

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7
ANSWERS

1. MONDALE”S ACTUAL REMARKS

If you’re making $30,000 a year or less under the Reagan tax package, your taxes actually
went up. You don’t think so? Look at the payroll tax. Look at the gas tax. Look at the
telephone tax. Look at the way state and local taxes had to go up to make up for the
federal aid that was cut back.

2. ELVIN LIM’S POINTS (Grade level, 8.9; passive voice, 0%.)

Today, presidents use simple language. They skimp on logic. They mislead us about their
character. They rely too much on emotion. The White House speechwriting office helps
do that. That’s why Presidents created and developed it. And that helped support the
rise of an anti-intellectual presidency.

3. SECRETARY CLINTON’S REMARKS (CUT BY ABOUT 30%.)

Good afternoon. We have wrapped up a very productive conference. Seen what happens
when the international community can cooperate on very important issues. Prime
Minister Brown, Foreign Secretary Miliband, the Government of Afghanistan, the United
Nations—thank you all. You brought us all together by sponsoring this important
meeting.

What we have seen is a global challenge met with a global response. Our host
country, the United Kingdom, and Italy, Germany, and Romania, have committed

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 more troops. We’re grateful to them. We also are grateful for the contributions
from others—for example, countries such as Russia, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan,
who will provide air space rights and other transit assistance.

4. Geena Davis’s actual conclusion:

 For at this very moment, a girl in Asia who desperately wants to read …has dropped out of
school.
 A girl in Africa who wants freedom has been sold into slavery.

 A woman in India watches her child dying because she could not find something as simple
as clean water.

 And women in the United States still suffer from the discrimination faced by Lilly
Ledbetter who sits in this audience tonight.

 We cannot wait. Too many lives are at stake.

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READABILITY STATS EXPLAINED:

Here you see a typical example of how we present "READABILITY STATS:" It measures Vice-
President Pence's commencement speech at Notre Dame University's 2017 Commencement.

1922W/2.5SPP/17.4WPS/4.6CPW/2%PAS/61.2EU/9.0GL

WHAT ARE THEY -- AND WHY DO THEY MATTER?

EXPLANATION: Readability stats refer to the analysis offered in Word. After checking spell
&grammar, readers who have enabled the stats can see a number of ways to analyze speeches for
how understandable they are -- especially the seven above, offered in abbreviated form. They are:
1) number of words 2) sentences per paragraph 3) words per sentence 4) characters per word 5)
percent of sentences in passive voice 6) percent of Americans who could easily understand the
written version of this text 7) the reading level by grade in American schools.

Why is this useful? The number of words helps us judge possible complexity. How many sentences
per paragraph shows us whether formatting is appropriate for speeches. Short sentences and
paragraphs help speakers, especially when they will be using devices of repetition. We suggest
keeping sentences at 10-13 words, and using 2 sentences per paragraph.

Words per sentence? Again: speakers need short sentences to help listeners who cannot reread
understand. Short sentences allow repetition, as well.

Characters per word: English averages 5 characters per word. But that includes one and two-
character words (a, an, the). Speeches averaging 5 CPW are generally too complex for average
Americans. 4.3-4 makes a big difference.

Passive voice: A common way to make speech sound formal and weak. A reading of 5% usually
means writers need one more revision.

EU (how many Americans can easily understand the written version of this speech), and GL (grade
level), each allow speakers to know whether their audience can grasp what they say.

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STRUCTURE

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 ORGANIZING YOUR SPEECH: MONROE'S AMAZING DOCTRINE

He didn't invent it.

He just noticed how often people used it, like Lincoln in the Gettysburg Address.
About 75 years ago a rhetoric professor named Alan Monroe suggested a phenomenally useful 5-
step way to organize what we now call Monroe's Motivated Sequence—or MMS.
Why "motivated?" Because it uses human psychology to motivate listeners. It makes them act.

Monroe's 5-step doctrine goes like this.

1. Attention: Grab their attention from the very first sentence. After 30 seconds they should be
hanging onto every word you say.

2. Problem: Show voters a problem that's so urgent they need to take steps right now to solve it.

3. Solution: Solve the problem! And don't just state the solution. Show listeners it's practical, and
better than other ways.
4. Visualization: Can you really succeed? Let them see success by envisioning it in the future as
Martin Luther King did with "I have a dream.” Or show that this has succeeded in the past.

5. Call To Action: Okay, said Monroe. You won them over. Don't let them off the hook. Urge the
crowd to act. In other words, get them involved.

Perfect for politics where you're in the business of finding solutions, and getting people involved. You
can use it on the stump, in a floor speech, or keynoting a dinner. When you only have 10 minutes to
think of something, you have a structure to use. But of course in politics you need to:

 Praise your audience and salute their achievements.

 Give audiences a roadmap of what's ahead
 Come up with a great last line. A clincher.

How do we do all that?

Let's see how MMS works in a typical stump speech for the 2012 campaign.

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EXAMPLES

ABE LINCOLN FOR FREEDOM:

ATTENTION: LINCOLN BEGINS WITH HISTORY: A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT

THE FOUNDING FATHERS DID -- AND WHAT THEY HOPED.

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new
nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are
created equal.

PROBLEM: LINCOLN POSES ONE PROBLEM: CAN THE UNITED STATES

ENDURE?

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation
so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield
of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-
place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is
altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

LINCOLN NOW POSES A SECOND PROBLEM: HOW CAN WE THE LIVING

"CONSECRATE" THIS CEMETERY.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow

this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it
far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long
remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.

SOLUTION:

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It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which
they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

CALL TO ACTION: Lincoln reverses Monroe's definition, calling on listeners for

action. He will close with a vision of the future

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us --

that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which
they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that

VISUALIZATION: ...these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under
God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the
people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.

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BILLY MAYS FOR OXYCLEAN:

IN LESS THAN TWO MINUTES, BILLY MAYS DEMONSTRATES CLASSIC

OXYCLEAN—AND MONROE'S MOTIVATED SEQUENCE:

ATTENTION: Mays wins attention by having women exclaiming that they are "on the ball."
Listeners don't know what they're talking about which produces suspense -- and attention.

WOMAN: I'm on the ball.

WOMAN 2: I'm on the ball

MAYS: Are you on the ball?

WOMAN: Wow! What's this?

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: Mays announces his message.

 MAYS It's new Oxyclean detergent! Get on the ball. And you'll never have to pour or measure
detergent again!

BACKGROUND: Mays provides technical background we need to understand.

 WOMAN: So -- how's it work?

 MAYS: Just place the Oxyclean detergent ball in the blue Toss'n'go dispenser. Just toss and go. It
stays in your washer while it cleans over 25 loads. Laundry just got easier.
 SKEPTICAL WOMAN: This is all I need. Twenty-five loads. That's great!
 MAYS: That's right. It's so easy even your kids can do laundry. (VISUALIZATI0N 1)

PROBLEM: Skeptical woman—and MAYS—present objections: dissolving too fast, rinse cycle, soapy
residue.

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WOMAN: So how do you know it's not going to dissolve more than what you need?

MAYS: It's patented formula delivers oxygen and detergent throughout your wash cycle, whitening and
brightening your clothes.

MAYS (cont): I know what your thinking. What about the rinse cycle?

SOLUTION:

MAYS: Watch this. Ordinary detergent uses lots of suds. But Oxyclean detergent cleans without leaving a
soapy residue. I'll put 'em both in the rinse cycle. Ordinary detergent still leaves suds while Oxyclean
detergent always rinses clean.

Visual: Mays stands behind two bulky detergent displays. In foreground are the small balls of Oxyclean
dramatizing the contrast.

MAYS : A year supply of powder or liquid takes up all this space.. Weighs over 50 pounds. A year's supply
of Oxyclean detergent takes no space at all.

WOMAN: Those other brands? They better watch out. Because this Oxyclean detergent ball? This is it!

VISUALIZATION:

MAYS: Four detergent balls. A dispenser. A huge value. Enough to do over 100 loads of laundry. For only
19.99!

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CALL TO ACTION:

MAYS: So get on the ball. The Oxyclean detergent ball. I guarantee it!

 Flashing call to action onscreen: CLICK HERE TO BUY NOW!

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OPENINGS: OPRAH'S GALVANIZING START:

ATTENTION THROUGH STORY;

In 1964, I was a little girl sitting on the linoleum floor of my mother's house in Milwaukee,
watching Anne Bancroft present the Oscar for Best Actor at the 36th Academy Awards. She
opened the envelope and said five words that literally made history: The winner is... Sidney
Poitier.
Up to the stage came the most elegant man I had ever seen. I remember his tie was white
and of course his skin was black, and I had never seen a black man being celebrated like that.
And I've tried many many many times to explain what a moment like that means to a little
girl, a kid watching from the cheap seats, as my mom came through the door bone tired from
cleaning other people's houses.
But all I can do is quote and say that the explanation in Sidney's performance in Lilies of
the Field — amen amen, amen amen.
In 1982, Sidney received the Cecil B. DeMille award right here at the Golden Globes, and it
is not lost on me that at this moment there are some little girls watching as I become the first
black woman to be given this same award.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND THANK-YOUS
It is an honor— it is an honor and it is a privilege to share the evening with all of them and
also with the incredible men and women who have inspired me, who challenged me, who
sustained me and made my journey to this stage possible.
Dennis Swanson who took a chance on me for A.M. Chicago. Quincy Jones, who saw me on
that show and said to Steven Spielberg, yes she is Sophia in 'The Color Purple.' Gayle, who's
been the definition of what a friend is and Stedman who's been my rock, just a few to name.
I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, because we all know that the
press is under siege these days. But we also know that it is the insatiable dedication to
uncovering the absolute truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and to
injustice. To — to tyrants and victims and secrets and lies.
PRAISE
I want to say that I value the press more than ever before as we try to navigate these
complicated times, which brings me to this: what I know for sure is that speaking your truth is
the most powerful tool we all have. And I'm especially proud and inspired by all the women who
have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories.
Each of us in this room are celebrated because of the stories that we tell, and this year we became
the story.
But it's not just a story affecting the entertainment industry. It's one that transcends any
culture, geography, race, religion, politics, or workplace.
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the women who
have endured years of abuse and assault because they, like my mother, had children to feed and
bills to pay and dreams to pursue.

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 THE FOUR-PART CLOSE: DEFINED

The four-part-close often appears in speeches that use the wildly popular Monroe Motivated Sequence.
That's the five-step structure popularized by rhetoric professor Alan Monroe, useful for persuasive
speech. Why is it popular? Because it uses human psychology to not just persuade listeners but get them
to act.

It's got five steps.

 ATTENTION: You can't persuade anyone unless you get their attention -- and audiences don't wait long.
You can use jokes, stories, startling statistics, questions and a lot of other ways. But be compelling right
from the first sentence. Within 30 seconds you want listeners to think: "Wow!"

 PROBLEM: In politics you solve terrible problems -- jobs, health care or the other candidate.. People won't
listen to your solutions until you show them how bad things are. When you're done you want them to think
"That's terrible! How can we solve that?"

 SOLUTION: Giving them a solution doesn't mean stating it. You need evidence to show it works -- better
than the other side's. Listeners should think "Sounds like it could work. But will it?"

 VISION: You can get them to imagine a vision of the future —"I have a dream"—seemed to work well. Or
remind them of the past as President Obama did in his 2008 Inaugural (At Valley Forge..."). You can also
give listeners a vision of disaster if your bill fails or you lose at the polls.

 CALL TO ACTION: You've persuaded them about the issue -- and about you. Don't let them off the hook.
Give them specific steps. You don't want them to cheer. You want them to say, "march.

The four-part-close amplifies steps 4 and 5 of MMS. In what follows you'll see a great variety in the way
speakers use each step. But generally you'll see each of the four.

 INSPIRATION: Speakers use a variety of devices -- story, example, quotes, literary references -- to
move listeners, often reminding them of past success, though sometimes to remind them of
tragedies to avoid.

 LESSON LEARNED: A way to make the inspirational material relevant to today.

 CALL TO ACTION: Speakers urge listeners to act

 CLINCHER: Speakers close reminding listeners of the broader importance of action.

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THE FOUR-PART CLOSE: ILLUSTRIOUS ANCESTORS

ABE LINCOLN: 1863

(INSPIRATION) The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have
consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little
note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did
here.

(LESSON LEARNED) It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the

unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.

(CALL TO ACTION) It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task

remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion
to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we
here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain ...

(CLINCHER)... that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom,
and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish
from the earth.

JOHN F. KENNEDY: 1961

(INSPIRATION)Since this country was founded, each generation of

Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty.
The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service
surround the globe.

(LESSON LEARNED) Now the trumpet summons us again...Can we

forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and South,
East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind? Will
you join me in that historic effort?
In the long history of the world, only a few generations have
been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum
danger...The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this
endeavor will light our country and all who serve it—and the glow from
that fire can truly light the world.

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(CALL TO ACTION) And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your
country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.
My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do
for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man....
Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the
world, ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice
which we ask of you.

(CLINCHER)With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history

the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love,
asking his blessing and his help,

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Remarks as Prepared for Delivery by The
Honorable Joseph Crowley
Democratic National Convention

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

ATTENTION:

It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. It was just after 9:00 a.m. I was waiting on the
runway at LaGuardia to fly back to Washington. Then I got the news. Two planes had crashed
into the World Trade Center.

I raced out of the terminal. I tried calling my two cousins, both members of the New York City
Fire Department. We had grown up together in working class Queens, New York. They were
supposed to be off duty. But, then the call came in. Both brothers responded. Only one came
home.

PROBLEM;

On September 12th, I stood at what had been the World Trade Center. All that remained was ash
and smoke. My cousin, Battalion Chief John Moran, was listed among the missing, but deep
down I knew he wasn't coming back. Neither were the other 342 missing firefighters. The weight
of his loss felt heavy.

SOLUTION:

But there beside me that day was Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton, the New York Senator. Hillary Clinton, my friend. She understood the pain my
family, our city, our nation were under. She fought to help our city rebuild. And she delivered.

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People forget, but the assistance package that was first proposed didn't have a dime for New
York. Hillary helped turn that around — securing $20 billion we needed to get New York going
again. But, she didn't stop there.

Hundreds worked on the Pile in the days after 9/11. They came first to find survivors, but
eventually searched for remains.

They didn't worry about their own health. They were told the air was fine. But, it wasn't. And
when health issues emerged years later, Hillary Clinton was still by their side.

She brought families and first responders to Washington. She took them door to door, never
letting her colleagues forget the consequences of that terrible day. For almost a decade, Hillary
never gave up, and she was there with us when the 9/11 Health and Compensation Act was
finally passed.

But let me ask you something. Where was Donald Trump in the days, and months, and years
after 9/11? He didn't stand at the Pile. He didn't lobby Congress for help. He didn't fight for the
first responders. Nope. He cashed in. Collecting $150,000 in federal funds intended to help small
businesses recover — even though days after the attack Trump said his properties were not
affected.

Hillary sought these funds to help local mom and pop shops get back on their feet. Donald
Trump sought a payday for his empire. It was one of our nation's darkest days, but to Trump, it
was just another chance to make a quick buck.

VISUALIZATION;

Hillary has never and will never forget the reality of that day. And that's why she will never give
up on making us a better and stronger nation.

FOUR PART CLOSE: INSPIRATION:

My cousin John carried with him a quote from Teddy Roosevelt. It reads, in part:

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man
stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs
to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and
sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;

LESSON LEARNED:

My friends, this is the Hillary Clinton I know. The doer of deeds — who I've stood and worked
and fought alongside. This is the Hillary Clinton I believe in. The proven fighter, who has
devoted herself to helping American families, American workers, and cops, and firefighters, and
first responders. Helping all Americans.

CALL TO ACTION (IMPLIED)

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And this is the Hillary Clinton I support. The one who has been in the arena, demonstrating the
leadership and determination we need in our next president.

CLINCHER:

My fellow Democrats, my fellow Americans — I'm with Her. I'm with Hillary. Because, Hillary
has always, always been with us.

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 THE ONE MINUTE: GOOD

Not all 1-minutes need to follow the Monroe structure. Here is an excellent one which focuses
only on the problem. What makes it good?

Congressman Joe Kennedy III Prepared Remarks

Energy & Commerce Hearing on ACA repeal
March 15, 2017

(201 WORDS/1.6SPPP/13.4WPS/4.1CPW/80.EU/GL5.3)

ATTENTION:
I was struck last night by a comment made by Speaker Ryan.
He called this repeal bill 'an act of mercy.'
With all due respect to the Speaker, he and I must have read different scripture.
The one I read calls on us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless and comfort the
sick. It reminds us that we are judged not by how we treat the powerful but how we care for the least
among us.
Mercy. Defined in purely secular terms: compassionate treatment for those in distress. It’s kindness.
And it is grace.

PROBLEM;
There is no mercy in a system that makes health care a luxury.
There is no mercy in a country that turns their back on those that most need our protection: the
elderly, the poor, the sick, the suffering.
There is no mercy in a cold shoulder for the mentally ill.
There is no mercy in a policy that takes for granted the sweat, tears and sacrifice working Americans
shed every day so that they might provide for their families basic needs: food, shelter, health, and
hope for tomorrow.

CLINCHER

This bill is not an act of mercy. It is an act of malice.

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 THE ONE-MINUTE: BAD

This one does follow Monroe,—mostly. Here are some reasons why this example doesn't measure up.

Mr. BILIRAKIS.

ATTENTION: Flooding and flood insurance are major issues for Florida and my

district. Our community along the coast is prone to experiencing

hurricanes and tropical storms on a regular basis. Flood insurance is a

must where we live.

Mr. Speaker, I rise today to discuss important

legislation I will soon be introducing in this Congress, the Flood

Insurance Integrity Act.

PROBLEM: But right now, the National Flood Insurance Program bases its flood

insurance rates on maps that can be 50 years or older. Many are

completely out of date and often inaccurate. It is also one of the

reasons that NFIP is over $23 billion in debt.

SOLUTION: The Flood Insurance Integrity Act will require an open and

transparent annual review of flood maps. It sounds good.

VISUALIZATION: Americans who need flood insurance

should be able to trust that their flood insurance premiums accurately reflect their flood risk. It is the

least we can do.

CLINCHER: So that is why this bill seeks to do that.

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REWRITE:

Mr. Speaker:

ATTENTION

(ANTITHESIS TO CREATE INTEREST)You don't have to go to my state to see what floods do.

Go to You Tube.

(BRIEF, CONCRETE, VISUAL EXAMPLES)See car roofs poking out of brown water. Washed out roads. Homeowners
returning to the front door of their homes -- in a rowboat.

And funerals.

(STATISTIC TO SHOW URGENCY )Floods kill Americans. They cost survivors about $6 billion every year.

That's why we need flood insurance -- at rates people can afford.

PROBLEM

(ANALOGY) But the maps we use to decide rates? They were drawn up 50 years ago. They're as old as I am!

And even more out of date.

SOLUTION

The Flood Insurance Integrity Act will bring those maps up to date.

It's a small step with a big result. (ANTITHESIS)

VISION

(CONCRETE REASONS THE SOLUTION IS USEFUL):

It means fairness for land owners.

It means premiums that reflect risk.

CALL TO ACTION

Let's pass it.

CLINCHER

(MEMORABLE LANGUAGE)We can't stop every flood. But we can stop hurting flood victims.

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THE OP-ED:

An under-used communication tool, op-eds have attracted wide audiences because of the
Internet and social media. one such example appears below.

"It's a Lock"

op-ed

by

Ann Brown

Former Chair

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

June 28, 2016

768 words

755 words/2.3sentences per paragraph/11.2words per sentence/4.7 characters per

word/1%passive/64.8 easily understand/Grade level: 7.0

ATTENTION (STORY) (9.2/4.6/0%/4.9)

This time it was Christopher, a 4-year old in New Jersey, playing with his older brother. Their
mother wasn't with them. But last Saturday the kids found her loaded gun. Christopher's brother
picked it up, aimed at Christopher's head—and pulled the trigger.

A few hours later, Christopher died in a Newark hospital. Police said the shooting seemed to be
"accidental."

I don't agree.

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PROBLEM

A toddler in Florida. A six year old in Chicago. A five-year old in Louisiana with a gun she'd found
under a pillow. Children die in such "accidents" about four times each week.

Back in 2001, when I chaired the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, I saw the staggering
number of times guns killed children. Almost 3500 times a year—nine deaths every day.

Some were homicides. Some were suicides.

That year, 214 were unintentional.

The Constitutional arguments about gun ownership dominate the policy debates. But at least back
then it seemed like we could prevent many of the unintentional ones.

SOLUTION

The solution? Gun locks.

They resemble a small bike lock. You could get them free from gun safety groups or the police.
Holding one in my hand, I thought it looked so simple it was hard to believe it worked. But it did. It
would keep children alive.

We wrote a regulation that established safety standards for operating firearms, including a mandate
that families with guns keep them locked and away from kids.

And that was when I learned the NRA was more than just a lobbying group. It blocked that simple
step. When Smith & Wesson agreed on its own to create some small gun safety measures, the gun lobby
boycotted the company.

Heartless.

And in the years since, while I waited for common sense to overrule these despicable acts, nothing
happened. Last year unintentional discharges killed 278 children like Christopher. We've had 84 more
since New Year's Day.

22 million kids live in houses containing a gun. But less than half of those homes keep guns
unloaded, locked, and separate from ammo. When the gun lobby can block something so sensible, is it
any wonder one study showed the rate of gun deaths among American kids is 12 times higher than
those in 25 other countries?

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 I have devoted my life to consumer product safety. At our little agency we helped keep kids from
suffocating in cribs, choking on toys, chewing on lead-based paint, and many other ways to keep families
safe in their homes.

Leave aside the other (to me infuriating) issues about gun ownership. There may be solutions for
which the technology is impractical or the constitutional complexities baffling.

The gun lock solution is not one. It was available when I was U.S. CPSC Chair. That regulation we
drafted would have prevented so many of the 3000 unintentional deaths since then —and thousands
more.

So in this presidential election year, it was galling to hear Jeb Bush say about gun control a few
months back, "We don't need to add new rules," – and the now presumptive nominee of his party say,
"Jeb is absolutely correct. Guns don't pull the trigger. It's the people that pull the trigger."

Yes. Christopher's brother was one of those people. Doesn't that entitle Christopher to protection?

Such deaths are no "accident." They result directly from the deliberate steps by the NRA and
cowardly candidates who intentionally and energetically block this simple move, knowing the thousands
of tragedies it would cause.

And let me depart from Christopher's story to mention something personal. You are reading a piece
written weeks ago. Then came the devastation in Orlando overshadowing a story that would involve only
one child. "Wait for the next time," people suggested.

Was it too manipulative to be watching the news for someone's tragedy? But I didn't have long to
wait.

VISUALIZATION

Seeing Christopher's story buried deep inside the paper, I thought: more people must know.

The family has started a fund for Christopher's burial. Police arrested his mother for a weapons
violation. A six-year old will live his life shadowed by remorse.

In a story about an earlier but similar incident one police officer talked about kids and guns. "They
don't know what they're doing," he said.

They don't. But the NRA, and its political allies do.

CALL TO ACTION:

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 In the four months before November we should demand candidates gutsy enough to defy the
NRA and at least support this simple measure which can save hundreds of lives a year.

Because in addition to Christopher's brother last week, theirs were on the trigger, too.

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BOB LEHRMAN

Novelist, White House speechwriter, journalist, and award-winning teacher, Bob Lehrman has spent
over four decades writing speeches for national Democratic politicians, publishing articles, stories and
books under his own name, and teaching. He is best known for having influenced the field of
speechwriting, especially through his highly-acclaimed book, The Political Speechwriter’s Companion (CQ
Press, 2009).

After growing up in New York and graduating from Tufts University, Lehrman attended the
University of Iowa’s Writers’ Workshop where he studied with Kurt Vonnegut and Richard Yates, then
entered politics where he was Chief Speechwriter for the Governors of Illinois ( Dan Walker) and New
York (Hugh Carey). After seven years in corporate life he re-entered political life. He wrote for Senator
Lloyd Bentsen (D-TX) and two Democratic Majority Whips, including David Bonior (D-MI), before
becoming Chief Speechwriter for Vice President Al Gore in the White House.

As a White House aide Lehrman wrote over 250 speeches for Gore and supervised hundreds more
before leaving to create Lehrman Communications, in 1996.

Since then, Lehrman has written well over a thousand speeches for national politicians, corporate
and non-profit CEOS and celebrities. He has also published four well received novels, three for young
adults and one for adults. Juggling (Harper&Row, 1982) was an American Library Association Best Book
for 1983, while The Store That Mama Built (Macmillan, 1988) one of three finalists for the National
Jewish Book Award for Young Adults.

Lehrman's book on political speech has sold steadily since publication, winning wide acclaim
from Democrats, Republicans, journalists and academics.It will go into a second edition in early 2019,
this time with speechwriter, long-term collaborator and co-teacher, Eric Schnure.
A frequent source for reporters, a guest on TV and radio, and a journalist. Lehrman has appeared
has written articles and op-eds for the New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, Politico, The
Forward, The Observer, AOL News, and other places. He has written six widely read cover stories for The
Christian Monitor Weekly Magazine, and in 2012 won Narrative Magazine's Winter 2012 short story
contest.
Lehrman teaches public speaking and speechwriting at American University and has taught at
George Washington, and Georgetown. He has run workshops for diplomats in South Korea, Vietnam and
other countries, and conducted webinars and workshops for the World Speechwriting Association. In
2010 AU named him Adjunct Professor of the Year.
Recently, Lehrman joined the Board of the Lab Safety Institute, a nonprofit organization
dedicated to promoting laboratory safety in schools and the workplace.
Lehrman lives in Washington DC with his wife, Susan Thaul, an epidemiologist specializing in
prescription drugs with the rigorously non-partisan Congressional Research Service. they have two
grown children, and one adorable grandson.

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ERIC SCHNURE

For close to 25 years, former White House speechwriter Eric Schnure has counseled leading
executives and organizations, helping make their messages more memorable, their words more
effective and their delivery more powerful.

In addition to strategic communications and speechwriting, Eric lectures and conducts

workshops around the world on storytelling, presentations and the art and science of
persuasion. He has developed and run seminars and training sessions for global companies
including Google, GE, UPS, HP, Hearst and Airbus, as well as international institutions such as the
European Commission. Eric also teaches as an adjunct at Johns Hopkins University and American
University.

Prior to opening his own firm in the fall of 2013, Schnure served as Director of Executive
Communications at GE. In that role, he was responsible for creating communications platforms
for the CEO and other leaders, as well as helping develop and execute strategies that helped
build, enhance and protect the global industrial conglomerate’s reputation and brand.

Before joining GE, Eric was a principal at the Dewey Square Group where he assisted some of the
nation’s biggest organizations meet their communications challenges. Eric Schnure began his
communications career in the White House in 1993 as a speechwriter for Vice President Al Gore.
After leaving the White House, Schnure served in senior communications roles at the United
States Department of Housing and at NASA. He continued in the communications field as a
consultant to top elected officials, Fortune 100 corporations and nationally and internationally
recognized non-profits.

Schnure is known in Washington for incorporating humor into speeches, and in 2004 he co-
founded the Humor Cabinet, a communications consulting firm. He has written countless one-
liners and roasts for celebrities and politicians, prompting Roll Call, the newspaper of Capitol Hill,
to describe Eric as one of Washington’s “go-to guys” for political humor.

Eric Schnure graduated from Hobart College and received a master’s degree in International
History from the London School of Economics. He lives in Chevy Chase, MD with his wife and
their two sons.

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