Beyond Fear and Judgment IV

October 25, 2017

Now, come to us, if you wish, with your desire for realization. We will meet you where
you stand, and we will call to you the circumstances that you require to learn through to enable
this, this realization that you require and claim as your own as you manifest and become the
True Self that you always are. We hear your words, you see, and we comprehend the needs of
each of you, who says, ‘Yes, I am here, but I am confused. I can’t seem to find the way. I am in
doubt. I am in fear. And I don’t know who I am. If what you say I am is the Divine Self, he is
somewhere I don’t see.”
When we understand a question, we comprehend as we can the ways to answer you
that you may claim as your own. And, for many of you, how you are answered are by
experience. You are answered in your own experience, your own claim of freedom that calls to
you the very things that you seek to be free from so you may know yourself as beyond them.
The claim we make for you tonight—“You are free beyond the known, you are free beyond your
ideas of freedom”—will support you in re-identifying the self beyond fear and beyond judgment,
because the place where you come that is beyond fear and beyond judgment is where the True
Self abides. To claim the True Self in fear or judgment is a contradiction.
The aspect of you who knows full well his safety, her full well being, exists in this place
beyond the known. And your arrival here in this classroom is to support you in attending to the
lessons you require to abide here fully, the realm, we would suggest, that exists beyond fear,
judgment of self and others, the codification of ideas that you have inherited and believe to be
intractable. From this perspective, everything that you have endured or claimed in fear may be
re-perceived, re-understood from a place of freedom. The idea of fear still exists for you, but
imagine, if you wish, that you are floating a hundred feet above a field of poison ivy. You see the
impact of fear and make the decision not to lower yourself into the very thing that would cause
you such distress. You see it for what it is, simply another expression. Poison ivy, you must say,
is as divine as any other plant, but you choose not to roll around in it and infect yourself and
everything you meet.
Now that you understand the potential of this, we will do as we can to support you in this.
But the first thing you must understand is that such a place may be known, the place beyond
judgment and fear. The neutrality of this place that exists beyond condemnation of anyone or
anything, that sees the truth in all things, and can realize the truth that is present in all
manifestation where others do not or cannot, the ability to lift these things you see out of the
poison ivy patch to a realm where they may see themselves beyond what they have claimed in
fear, will be the realization of the one who knows who she is. But you cannot go here unless you
participate in the alignment that’s required for it. Here you are, stumbling around in the poison
ivy, saying, “I am free, I am free, I am free,” and, as you continue to scratch at the wounds and
re-experience pain and fear, the idea that you are not free is going to be confirmed by you
through the experience you’ve claimed. So we lift you first, so that you may know yourself as
beyond this, and from this vantage point begin to choose anew.
Now, Paul is saying, “Well, how do we know if we’re in the poison ivy?” You know it
because you’re there, because you are in fear, in the dilemmas of fear, in the crises that you
create through fear. You perceive it on the television, you go into agreement with it. You look at
the pain of your life, and you identify as that pain. And you don’t see that the part of you that
knows who he is, is present there, yes, but exists beyond it.
 The re-acclimation of identity as the True Self—“I know who I am”—supports the
realignment that is required here. You must understand, friends, that to be in the patch of the
poison ivy is a way to learn. We are not condemning it. But we are suggesting that it may be
moved beyond. You may know yourself beyond it. And the claims that you make, that you
choose to make, about who you are and who others are, is one of the things that supports you
in whatever where you want to stand in.
Now, if you can understand this, that the Divine Self as you does not judge, you can
understand very simply that, as you judge another, you lower the vibration you hold, and you
claim in alignment or energetic accord to the very thing you say you don’t like. We are showing
Paul people wrestling, falling to the ground one atop the other at that level of engagement, and
energetically that is what happens when you judge another. You have decided for him. And, in
that claim for him or her, you align at the level of vibration that they hold and you attach to the
thing you judge. The only way to release this is to release the judgment and re-perceive the one
you see as free of the thing that you would claim them as.
Now, this is perplexing to Paul. “Well, if he hurt somebody and I am judging him as the
one who hurt, I am telling the truth.” You may see him as the one who has hurt. We are not
saying he didn’t do what you say he did. But, if you render him as the act of hurt, you have
claimed him as this thing at the cost of the inherent divinity that is him as well. And to realize the
sinner as the sin is to condemn the sin and the sinner as the same. We would suggest that
when we use these words, we are not using them in a religious sense, but as illustrations of
what you claim and how you claim it. When you realize the one who has harmed another as the
True Self, you have liberated him or her from the thing that they have claimed, and released
yourself as well. If you do not believe that how you claim another supports him or her in
liberation, these teachings must mean nothing to you.
Now, Paul is interrupting again. “But if the one is hurtful, does my realization of him
make him not hurtful?” The realization of him at the higher level claims him as he is in truth, and
the act that you are witnessing, the act of harm, we would suggest, always has a basis in fear.
When you liberate another, you are claiming them as free of the thing that they have believed
themselves to be. When you claim “I know who you are in truth, I know what you are in truth, I
know how you serve in truth,” you are claiming what is always so. And, as we have said so
many times, in truth a lie cannot be held. The lie is separation. The lie is fear. And the claim that
you make for them is the realization of the True Self that is still present, despite what you would
see, despite what you would claim, despite what you are taught to see.
When you see someone who knows another, who truly knows another, you are seeing
one who has learned to judge beyond the surface impression to realize what can only be true,
and that is a judgment we would confirm as beneficial. To decide that each human being,
whether or not you agree to them, has the right to be is a claim of truth. To decide that the
inherent truth of each man and woman is the Divine Self is a claim of truth and will support the
one you see in his passage, in her expression of liberation. You must understand, friends, that,
as you seek to be forgiven, to be released from the pains of your lives, from the self-judgment
you hold, you must become willing to extend the same to all you meet and all you see.
Now, when we teach you about moving above and beyond the claims that the small self
has used to justify or rationalize his fear or judgment, you must understand that you have
attached to these things in a communal way. “We all have the right to judge, but please don’t
judge us.” “We all have the right to exclude those we do not like, but please do not exclude us.”
Your true nature, the Divine as you, is as the same of each human being you will ever meet.
The seed of God that is impressed in each at their incarnation as a soul is always present, and
you may know it by making the claim for them, “I know who you are in truth.”
Now, the numbers that you need to understand what realization can manifest as will be
spoken to you now. Paul is confused by numbers. Some of you believe that a threshold must be
met. There must be so many of you present at a certain level of vibration to reclaim this
manifest world. And we will say that that is not how we perceive it. The realization of each of
you, those who come to us or any teaching of truth that enlivens you and emboldens you to
realize others, is the class that we recommend all take. The claim for others—“We know who
you are”—will support the world in its alignment, and that must happen before the individuals
who are asleep must awaken to their true natures. It is not about numbers. It’s about the current
of freedom and the alignment to it that is available to you all now.
Now, the teaching we will offer you has to do with your own choices. We invited you two
weeks ago to write down your fears, and then we invited you to perceive them, each and every
fear, through the eyes of the True Self. The key to this witness is, as the Divine Self is not in
fear, the reasoning that fear would use to justify itself will be seen in the fraudulent ways it
presents. Because the True Self knows who he is and knows who everybody else is as well, the
fear you hold of your fellows, or what you believe could happen to you, can be re-understood
from the higher place that we spoke of prior. All of those things exist in the poison ivy patch,
and, as you witness it from above, you may perceive it for what it is and then release yourself
from the obligations you have made to it. And, by that act, you have lifted yourself beyond its
grasp.
The rising we offer you is in awareness that everything you have chosen, in whatever
way it was claimed, has been in support of your development. So there can be no judgment of
self, only in an agreement to learn and move beyond what you have known thus far. When we
teach you about freedom, we teach you freedom from the known, or what was claimed as the
lower self that is operating in fear. We don’t condemn the choices. We don’t condemn the
individual. We don’t condemn at all. We suggest instead that everything that you have
encountered has been an opportunity to learn and will continue to be so.
He has a question. We will take it. “When we lift above the briar patch or the poison ivy
patch, how do we stay above it? How do we not fall back to what we have known and created
and known through fear?”
The simplest answer we can offer you to this is that you must be willing to remain. You
must forego the delight that you actually take in sliding back into the old. You must decide that
you are worthy of the higher, and that what you get from your reliance upon the old is the
known. And what you claim from that place, while you will learn from it, may not be the highest
way for you to claim your freedom. Understand, friends, that this is school. You are all in it, and
you are all learning the lessons you came to claim. Some of you choose to learn through fear.
Some of you decide you will learn in other ways. You may choose no longer to learn in fear, and
then align to the possibilities that would sustain you.
We will offer you this, now. When you decide that you have the right to be free of what
you have claimed in fear, you will call to you the circumstances to liberate you. You may call it to
you in form. You may call it to you in vibration. You may know it. You may have an experience
of it. But you will know that you have chosen this because you will experience it as such. In
some ways, what you do through an encounter with the things you fear, or the things you judge,
is give yourself the permission to move beyond them. As we have said many times, those things
you bury in the garden that you hide from yourself will create strange flowers in the garden.
They will show you that they are there through the blooms that come. You cannot clip the buds
of the strange flowers of fear. But you can release the things that have taken root by giving them
the permission to be revealed to the light, and therefore liberated, re-known, reclaimed in a
higher way.
We would like you to say these words with us, if you choose. We will speak them first,
then you may repeat them:

“On this day I choose to give myself permission to move freely from fear, to lift to the
high octave where I am not engrossed in fear, not being taught through fear, not being
distorted by fear. And, as I say these words, I give permission to believe myself as
worthy of this and commence to receive the blessing that I now know is mine. I am free
of fear. I am free of the seduction of fear. I am free of all the things fear names itself as
to delight me or deceive me. And, as I say yes, I allow myself to bloom as the True Self
that I have always been. I know who I am in truth. I know what I am in truth. I know how I
serve in truth. I am free. I am free. I am free.”

Now, when we teach you, we teach you in several ways. The language we use is there
to serve you, but the broadcast you are engaging in goes beyond language to the idea behind it.
And the idea behind it is as simple as can be. You exist in a higher octave beyond these things
that have caused you pain. As you align to the True Self who exists there, you claim your world
from this perspective. You liberate the world. You catalyze the world. You sing the song of
freedom because it is where you abide.
Imagine, if you wish, for a moment that you are existing in a higher octave at a place
beyond fear where the neutrality that you hold may give you the opportunity to perceive your
world with neither judgment or fear, and say, if you wish, to all of humanity the following words:

“I see you in your beauty. I see you in your right to be, in all you have known and may
know. Regardless of what you’ve chosen, I give you permission to claim your true
inheritance, the Divine as you who is here to be known. I know who you are in truth. I
know what you are in truth. I know how you serve in truth. You are free. You are free.
You are free.”

We thank you each for your presence. When we teach you next week, as we promised,
we will attend to self-judgment and the release of it beyond the known. Thank you and
goodnight. We will return with your questions in a moment. Period. Period. Period.

Q: My question is again about my neighbors or relationship to my neighbors. They are living

with me in the same house and it’s always an atmosphere of war and whatever I do, I do a lot
what the Guides suggested, it doesn’t really seem to work, it’s like coming back in waves, and I
really want their opinion about it. What can I do?

A: Let me see if I can get him [the neighbor]. Well this is the energy here and this is, “See what I
can do,” so it’s about himself and it’s a “screw you.” This doesn’t feel like war, it feels like a
decision has been made, so it’s a rather imperial energy. It’s the energy of “I am right.” So I’m
going to go from you to this. There’s a part of you, if I’m reading this correctly, that comes in
somewhat meekly saying, “I don’t want to be wrong. Don’t make me wrong.” And this is to as if
who’s on the other side of the wall. So he’s showing up as powerful and you’re showing up as
worried about him to a certain extent. So let me see if there’s anything you can do here.
 They’re saying tell the young lady that she’s telling other people who they should be, as
she would have them be, and that will not do this, that is not this teaching. To claim the divinity
in another is to know who they are beyond what they claim or present as. It is not to get them to
do what you want.
So I’m going to ask if there’s anything that you can do for yourself here. Are you able or
allowed to move? Is this a possibility for you? I’m not telling you to do this. I’m asking you a
question.

Q: I love this place very much.

A: Understood. Because what I’m actually hearing is if you want to move on you are allowed to.
Now, you don’t have to stay here and you can bless them as they are and decide that it’s safe to
be as you are with them or without them. Once the investment is released in who they should
be, so that you feel better about yourself or your home, you can move beyond the current
arrangement.
They’re telling me I can say this if I want. I’ve moved a bunch, but I have a real issue
around noise, and I’m highly sensitive to it, and I’m sure it just stinks to be my neighbor
sometimes, especially when you want to throw a lot of parties, so sometimes I can do
something about it and sometimes I can’t, but when I’m able to say, as other people do, “Live
and let live,” I’m actually fine because my expectation of how they’re supposed to be goes out
the window. One of the things the Guides have taught again and again and again is that we
have to forgive other people for not being who we want them to be. So I’m just going to go back
to this guy one last second to see if I can hear anything on what he wants from you. The feeling
I get from this person is, if you mind your own business, he’s okay, but it feels a little bit like that.
But I feel as if that if I feel you’re minding your own business I will actually shift my behavior as
well. In a funny way it’s almost like there’s so much communication going on energetically right
now that you’re both in a heightened awareness. They’re saying that that’s accurate. Beyond
that I’m going to just suggest, pray for peace, and I’m going to move on. Good luck to you.

Q: I just tuned in in the middle of this, but I heard tonight about this is a school and we’re all
learning lessons unique to each being, and I’m just wondering, it feels like there are a lot of
things to learn and I’m wondering if the Guides could help me prioritize about which are the
wisest to focus on now.

A: They’re all being presented to you in order. The day brings the lesson of the day. You’re
looking at a set of encyclopedias wondering which one to read first. We would recommend the
one that falls at your feet is the one with the answer you seek. The day brings the lessons of the
day. Period. Period. Period.

Q: I have a hard time distinguishing between the voice of my higher self and my personality self,
and in the last fifteen years I’ve had a pull to leave the state that I live in and move back to New
Mexico and continue in the healing profession that I’m in and doing my service work, but I can’t
tell if this is a divine inspiration or if it’s a mental thought and if that’s something that my higher
self is pulling me to do.
A: Let me see if I can get you. You come through sort of smiling saying, “I want it to be my way,
so it better be.” And you say it with a smile and a game smile. And then there’s also the sense,
“Does it really matter?” As long as you’re not choosing in fear, what’s the harm in making a
choice and learning through it? I’m being told if you want to do this work you may. You may live
wherever you like. If the True Self is informing the choice, if you are genuinely being called,
there will be no question. The small self thinks, the True Self knows, and, if you are truly being
called, you will go because you will not be able to say no. Now, this does not mean that you
don’t have choice, and, until you braid the will, until you work as one with the higher, you will
have opportunities to choose in different ways. What gives you the most joy would be a simple
way to look for the claim of the True Self. Now, the claims for the True Self are often
uncomfortable because they are not adhering to the known in the ways that the small self would
like, so do not confuse joy with comfort. The True Self may call you forth beyond the
comfortability that you have utilized to know the self in certain ways. So I’m just going to ask
what part of you is calling you forth. But they’re saying it really doesn’t matter as long as you’re
not operating in fear. You’re telling me, “Well, you know, it’s a bit of both, but I want what I
want.” In other words you can have it. Do you understand that?

Q: I’m not sure exactly what that last part means.

A: “I want what I want” means even if in this case I kind of get that even if it was your small self
saying, “I want to move to Santa Fe,” you want it, so there’s not really a dilemma here. I actually
hear none at all because there’s really no fear informing this.

Q: It feels so fearful, though.

A: This would be fearful: “I’m running away from my past so I’m moving to Santa Fe.” “I never
want to see my ex again so I’m leaving town.” Those would be fearful choices and I’m not
hearing that. What the Guides did say was that when you’re called forth to the new it’s not
always comfortable. I’ll give you an example. When I was deciding to leave teaching, I woke up
one morning and knew it was time to do it and I was totally in my knowing and it felt completely
resolved and then immediately I debated it for the next three or four months, and I made do lists
and check lists and everything else and drove myself happily crazy for some period of time, and
I could have avoided that. The True Self knows, the small self thinks.

Q: I have four kids. They go from 11 to 23. And I’ve always been the spiritual leader in my
house. When I had an awakening a little over two years, my understanding of things shifted
drastically. Now, I still take my kids to church, but my two youngest seem to ask a lot of
questions and they seem to be very awake from my viewing them. By my taking them to church
like this and I’m not really believing what I’m hearing anymore, I think differently, I think the way
the Guides talk about why we incarnate and things like that, if the conversation allows, should I
tell them what I really believe and why I believe why they’re here on the planet, too, or do I not
do that? Are they too young for that kind of stuff? My two youngest are 11 and 12.

A: When I was 11 and 12 you couldn’t tell me anything. I think if you were saying 2 and 3
reincarnation might confuse them. I’m getting a smile. I’m hearing they’re not too young at all.
But I do hear are you courageous enough to tell the truth and understand that they may not
choose to agree with you, and that is their prerogative. You are not preaching to them, you are
telling them the truth of what you know. Now, the truth of what you know does not need to be
based in any doctrine. It is helpful if it is based in your experience, because then you can share
what you’ve experienced and they will believe you. Paul is interrupting. “Is there a better
church?” If he wishes to find a church where the things we teach are understood, there are
many to be found. You may claim them and go to them and find community there. There is great
beauty to be learned and comprehended at the basis of any religion. When a religion teaches in
fear, when it teaches to exclude, when it teaches damnation, you would do very well to tell your
children the truth and to take them someplace that teaches love. Period. Period. Period.
I’ll just say this for anybody, because I have a practice and read for people and speak to
people all over the country and there are people who have not heard of, say, Unity or the
Centers for Conscious Living, which are both places that are nondenominational, they’re highly
inclusive, and it’s where I would be going, I suspect, if I could.

Q: My question is about the exercise of writing down fears. I wrote a very long encyclopedic list,
but I am confused about when I’m seeing these from the higher self and when I’m just trying to
be good or be high minded or virtuous in looking at them.

A: Because there is no fear at the higher level, you will see these things as simply what they
are, creations and agreements, things that you have invested meaning in that don’t require
them, the directives of history. “You should be afraid.” To look at it from the higher vantage point
is to allow things to be seen without the investment that the small self has created. You are not
denying what was. You are simply realizing yourself, the True Self as you, who doesn’t align to
them, so you may become instructed by your experience now. The young child who was
frightened of the dark had every reason to believe there were things to be frightened of. The
woman that you have become does not hold that fear. She can see the child’s fear, comprehend
it for what it was, but because she no longer invests in it, or acts upon it, the fear itself is no
longer part of her experience. Now, when you do this with your list, you are simply observing
how you believed what was claimed by you at a different level of consciousness. Your job is not
to eradicate them, but to perceive them from a higher vision so that you no longer invest in them
as you have. Do you understand this, yes?

Q: There are a couple of groups here that read your books and I go every week and I’m taking
my son, who is recuperating from a severe brain injury, and the question is am I, I would like for
this to help him and I know what his conscious self thinks of it, but I’m wondering if you could
tune in to him and see if there’s something higher and better going on.

A: So he’s just not liking what he’s hearing? Is that what you’re saying?

Q: Yeah, it’s kind of a placeholder, gets him out of the house kind of a thing.

A: Well, he comes through actually saying, “So what? I don’t care. So what? I don’t care. So
what? I don’t care.” But it actually sort of comes through as a bit of a litany, a mantra, to a lot.
Now this back and forth walk actually is okay. This is just somebody on their path. So I feel as if
these things that are showing up for him through you are things that are just showing up on the
path. It’s kind of like the scenery, frankly, to him, right now. It’s curious, he may want to peer in.
But truthfully the image is of him sort of walking down his path and somebody, I suppose it’s
you, tossing a book at him, it’s going to go bang, and it’s like he gets it, it’s like “alright already,”
and then he just wants to do his thing. The funny thing about this guy, when he’s ready I think
he’s going to sit down and read. I don’t know that he’s going to read the books that come
through me. I actually don’t think he is. He’ll find it for himself. The teaching that appeals to him
will be very different than what we teach and very appropriate for him. There are many ways in,
and there are many different ways to understand consciousness. He will call it to himself. I hear
he will ask you to bless it, and you would do well to, even though it’s not what you would choose
for him. It will give him what he requires to start. Period.
So it feels like, whatever this guy comes to himself, and I don’t know what it is, it could
be anything, I think, it feels to me perhaps a little pop culturey, like one of those books, but it
feels like it’s a moped, it’s not the car he’s going to end up driving, but it lets him learn how to
navigate a new little path, and I think that that’s positive for him. In other words I want to suggest
let him enjoy the scenery. Something may stick, but do let him find his own way.

Q: I feel a bit confused. I heard the Guides talking about being confused and being in doubt and
I feel like I’m doing a lot of work on myself and I doubt the connection to my higher self and I
doubt my decisions. Right now I’m going through something with my husband and I’m feeling
like I need to leave, I need to leave this relationship, but again there’s that doubt.

A: When I tune in to you, you come through actually just saying, “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t do
it anymore.” It’s not coming through with any drama, a bit more with some resignation, so I’m
assuming this may be about the marriage and I’m getting a yes. But the sense here is that he’s
not changing and you’re not changing either. I feel like I’m sitting at a table with somebody and
the food has just gotten cold and nobody’s moving to clear the table. It’s just there. It feels a little
stuck. Let me see if I can get him. He’s denying it. He’s like no, no, no, push, push, push away,
no, no, no, I don’t see it. But I’ve got to tell you when I come to this guy I’m not really seeing
anything much beyond myself right now. I feel like I’m in my stuff and that’s all I really see, so
anything you would try to tell me is going on I think I would disagree with you about, and this
comes with a little bit of a sense of “You can’t be right with me,” and some of this connects with
the idea of “I’m not going to let you because I don’t want to be wrong.” It’s not that he’s trying to
do this to you. He’s protecting himself. Let me go from you to him now. This is what you just
said. “I don’t want you to love me anymore because if you don’t love me it’s so much easier for
me to leave.” Does that make any sense? It’s just like exhaustion. When I come to you, I feel as
you that I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m going to see if I can get you at a higher place.
You’re saying, “It’s not that I want to leave, I want to be free of what doesn’t work in the
relationship, and if I can’t do that I have to leave. It’s really that simple.” Basically you’re saying
if you don’t work this out you have to move on from it, but it’s not that you want to leave him, you
want to release what’s not working. So let me ask if that can happen. What I hear is only if he
becomes accountable to his own actions. Do I think he has the capacity for that? I actually do. I
feel kind of like, when I go to him, I’m going “huh, what, huh, what?” like I’m getting hit with it
again and again like it’s going to wake me up a bit with a sense of “do you really mean this?”
Have you guys gotten counseling?

Q: Yes, but he feels that it’s about me, it’s not him.
A: Well that’s what I was getting. I think he’ll realize what he’s doing if it comes to that. I feel that
if this doesn’t change you’ll have to take care of yourself because you feel stuck.

Q: I don’t feel free, I feel like I have a calling with Spirit.

A: Well, everybody does. I’m going to say something. My old shrink, when I was about 26 years
old, her name was Hurricane Harriet, God bless her, she’s gone now, she was great, she was a
tough old broad, back in the days when you could smoke she was a bleached blonde, she
smoked these cigarettes in the office, she was a trip, but she said to me once, “The only real sin
is standing in the way of your own growth or somebody else’s” and that really stuck with me. If
we need to move away from something, a job or a person or a situation, there’s a good chance
that that person or situation needs to move away from us as well.

Q: I feel like there’s going to be growth on both our parts if there’s separation.

A: I get absolutely yes, but come to that when you choose to and don’t be frightened of change,
okay?

Q: In my journey, which has been rather dramatic and tumultuous and punctuated by very
painful episodes which have provided me with deep learnings, I was married to somebody who
it was clear to me from the very first time I looked into her eyes I had known for many, many
lifetimes. We had a very tumultuous marriage. She was the child of a violently abusive and
emotionally abusive alcoholic mother and could not separate herself from me, so that I often felt
like I had a monkey on my back. I had no experience of this and didn’t know how to handle it.
Since we’ve been divorced she’s continued in the same vein. We have four children. My
greatest desire would be to heal our family so that we could actually get along. But I keep sort
of, I ran into walls. The divorce was occasioned by her, in a disassociated state I now realize,
holding off and whacking me so hard that her hundred pounds knocked me six feet tall through
the air about three or four feet, producing a concussion that was responsible for waking me up,
also for ending my career. And I have gone a long way to forgiving her for that. But I still am
confused about how I can proceed from here.

A: I’m going to tune in to you first. You come through saying that you don’t want to be the one
who makes her wrong again. So in some ways you’re accountable to her. You have to look at
the parts of you that blame yourself that are actually sort of keep you in this dynamic. I want to
say as you “Of course I can’t fix her and I have to be there for her and she needs me.” So you’re
still sort of bound here. Let me see if I can get her. She comes through saying, “You did this,
you did this, you did this.” And stunned. But it’s accusation, it’s accusatory, and now it comes to
this idea of “You made me this way.” It’s not terribly rational when I go to this. So the question is
what do you do about this? I want to say love her as she is and release her to the light. Don’t
play the game anymore. Release the obligation. Love her as she is. In terms of reuniting the
family, I don’t really see that as possible right now, or wise, necessarily, but I do want to suggest
you may be able to give her permission to be herself free of you. I would work, if you can find a
way, the idea of releasing her, because in some ways you may be the one holding on here. Do
you understand this?
Q: I do. I understand what you say. I find myself at a loss to know how to go about it.

A: Let me see if I can get anything quickly. This may be something that doesn’t get done in a
two-minute chat. I hear the best thing to do is to pray for her safety and know that you’re not the
source of that. Do you understand this? It’s a way to release her. Pray for her safety. You know,
in twelve-step land, which I know, people used to say things when you’d be worrying too much
about somebody else, and they’d say, “You know what? You’re not her higher power.” And that
was always a good reminder and would bring some humility into the picture. I wish you well and
I’m sorry I can’t take longer with this.