Japanese Table Manners

By Anna Lynn Sibal

The display of proper manners is often said to be the mark of an educated and
civilized person. Each country and each culture has their own set of what they
consider to be good manners that should be adhered to. While people vary from
strictness to leniency with regards observing manners, perhaps there are no other
people in the world who take manners seriously than the Japanese. The Japanese
may cut a little slack for the gaijin, which means “foreigner” in their language, but
even a gaijin may lose face if he displays what are considered to be bad manners in
Japan in front of his Japanese hosts.

Displaying good manners at the table is just one of the ways that a gaijin can
impress his or her host in Japan. What are considered good table manners by the
Japanese?

Seating arrangement. When dining with a group either in a restaurant or in a

private home, the Japanese observe a seating arrangement. The most important
guest is always seated farthest away from the entrance, usually with his back to the
front of the tokonoma, the raised alcove that contains decorative scrolls, bonsai and
ikebana. The host, on the other hand, is supposed to sit nearest to the entrance to
the room.

Way of sitting. While many homes in Japan are already furnished the Western
style, there are still homes where the traditional low tables are used during
mealtimes and everyone joining the meal sits on the floor. In this case, women are
supposed to sit with their knees folded and their legs to one side. Only men are
allowed to sit cross-legged.

Greetings and thanks. Before starting a meal, the Japanese say itadakimasu,
which is an expression of gratefulness for the food served. After eating, they say
gochisosama deshita, meaning “Thank you for the meal.”

Chopsticks. Chopsticks are simple to use with practice. The etiquette surrounding
the use of chopsticks, however, is not so simple. Here are the reasons why:

 Chopsticks are held at the end, not in the middle or on the tip.
 Chopsticks are not supposed to be used to point at people or at things.
Waving chopsticks about in the air, playing with them and using them to
move objects on the table are also frowned upon.
 It is bad manners to stick chopsticks into food, especially rice. Chopsticks
are poked through rice only at funerals. It is also the height of bad manners
to give people food directly to their chopsticks. That is because during
 funerals, the bones of the cremated person are passed along from person to
person in that way.
 After the meal, chopsticks are supposed to be laid down with the tips
pointing left.

Serving food. In the west, when food is served, they are either served individually
or placed in platters accompanied by serving utensils. In Japan, food is seldom
served individually and the diner is supposed to serve himself. Unless there are
serving chopsticks provided, if the diner has already eaten with his chopsticks, he
should use the ends of his chopsticks when getting more food.
Do you need to learn the basics of how to hold and use chopsticks before going on?

 Do use chopsticks to cut or break apart large pieces of food. Hold both chopsticks
closer together in one hand and cut by pressing down. Don't separate them and try to
cut things as you would with a knife and fork.
 Do place chopsticks together on a chopstick rest,a small piece of ceramic or wood
(see below left), if one is available. Most restaurants, however, use disposable
chopsticks which come wrapped in paper that can be folded into a makeshift chopstick
rest.

 Do rest your chopsticks together across the lowest plate at your place setting when
you are finished eating.
 Do use chopsticks to pick up pieces slightly too large to eat in one bite. While most of
your food should already be in bite-sized pieces, when you encounter something
larger, simply bite off what you can and then return the rest to your plate.

 Don't play with chopsticks. They are not swords, drumsticks, etc.
 Don't stand chopsticks up in a bowl. Standing chopsticks up in a bowl of rice connotes
an offering of food for the dead.
 Don't use chopsticks to gesture or point.
 Don't take something directly from someone else's chopsticks.
 Don't use chopsticks to pull plates or dishes closer to you.
 Don't use chopsticks to skewer or spear food.
 Don't wave them over your food or poke at your food while you decide what to eat next.
 Don't lick your chopsticks. (Licking one's chopsticks has a sexual connotation --
proceed at your own risk.)
 Don't use the ends you are eating with to take something from a communal plate.
Reverse your chopsticks and use the other ends to take something from a dish that is
being shared.

Japan

 Never place chopsticks stuck vertically into a bowl of food, as this is the traditional presentation
form for an offering to one's ancestors.
 One should wait for the host or hostess to tell you to eat three times before eating.
 Accepted practice in helping oneself to a communal dish such as a salad, is to reverse the
chopsticks. However this is regarded in an all male, or casual situation, as too formal and
additionally, a female habit.
 Women should cup their other hand beneath their serving when using chopsticks when conveying
food from dish/bowl to mouth. Men should not do this.
 In communal dining or drinking, the youngest person present should pour alcohol for the other
members of the party, serving the most senior person first. The server should not pour their own
drink, rather they should place the bottle of sake, beer, wine or spirits, back on the table or bar,
and wait to be served by a senior. The receiver of the drink should hold up their glass/cup whilst
the drink is being poured.
 One should always clean one's hands before dining with the hot steamed towel provided.
 Japanese soup is eaten holding the bowl to one's mouth, never with a spoon. The exceptions to
this are o-zoni, the traditional soup served on New Year's Day; soups with noodles are served in
larger bowls, such as ramen, are acceptable to eat using chopsticks, although the soup itself is
still consumed from bowl to mouth.
 If something might drip onto the table while being transferred in the chopsticks, use the bowl of
rice in your other hand to catch the liquid. It is important to not allow this liquid to remain, and so
the discolored portion of the rice must be eaten. Rice (in a bowl) should remain white if it was
served as such.
 It is usually polite to finish all sections of a meal served at around the same time. It is suggested
that one should take a bite from one container, and then take a bite of rice. One should then take
a bite from another container, have another bite of rice, and so forth.
 It is perfectly acceptable, and rather encouraged to make a slurping noise when eating hot
noodles such as udon, ramen or soba. This is standard behavior in Japan, and Japanese
maintain that inhaling air when eating hot noodles improves the flavor. One should not, however
make any noise when eating soup.
 When taking a break from eating during a meal, one should place one's chopsticks on
the chopstick rest (hashi-oki) provided. A hashi-oki is usually a ceramic rectangle about four
centimeters long, or in some restaurants, a halved wine cork is provided.
 It is acceptable to cradle one's rice bowl in one hand when eating.
 One should not gesture using chopsticks.
 Never pass food from one pair of chopsticks to another. This technique is used only in Japanese
Buddhist funerary rites when transferring cremated bones into an urn.
 When pouring wine or beer, the hand holding the bottle should pour forward, not backward (over
the back of the hand) which is considered an insult.
 In traditional restaurants, one needs to sit in seiza, on less formal occasions sitting is also done in
tailors style (Indian style) or with 2 legs together on 1 side (females-only)
 There is no tipping in Japanese restaurants.

Table manners are the rules of etiquette used while eating, which may also include the appropriate
use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners. Many table manners
evolved out of practicality. For example, it is generally impolite to put elbows on tables, since doing so
creates a risk of tipping over bowls and cups.[1] Each family or group sets its own standards for how
strictly these rules are to be enforced.

Chopstick rest
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A pair of chopsticks made from yew on a wooden chopstick rest

A typical Japanese meal: chopsticks on a chopstick rest at the front side of the dishes, pointing to the left

A chopstick rest (箸置き Japanese: hashioki?) is tableware, similar to a spoon rest, used to
keep chopstick tips off the table and to prevent used chopsticks from contaminating or rolling off
tables. Chopstick rests are found more commonly in restaurants than in homes. They come in various
shapes and are made from clay, wood, glass, porcelain or precious stones such as jade. If the
chopsticks come in paper sleeves, some people fold the sleeves like origami in chopstick rests.[1][2]

In Japan, chopstick rests are usually used at formal dinners and placed on the front-left side of the
dishes. The chopsticks are placed parallel to the table edge with the points toward the left.

2. Chopsticks Etiquette

Japanese people use knives and forks for western food such as spaghetti and steak. Also, spoons are used for eating certain
dishes, such as stew, curry rice, and desserts. However, chopsticks are the most frequently used utensils in Japan.
Restaurants in Japan serve disposable wooden chopsticks. The step by step description of how to use chopsticks is available.

One of chopsticks etiquettes is not to directly pass food from your chopsticks to somebody else's chopsticks or vice versa.
The reason this is taboo is that the bones of the cremated body are passed in that way from person to person in Japanese
funerals. It's also important not to stand chopsticks up on food, especially up in a bowl of rice.

When you get food from large serving dishes, you may use the clean top ends of your chopsticks, if serving chopsticks are
not available. Then, you use the other ends to bring food in your mouth. It sounds weird, but it is considered to be polite in
Japan.

Seiza – the traditional Japanese sitting posture

Original article by CHYI LEE
(Adapted for Eyes on Japan by David Appleyard)

Seiza, written in two Chinese characters , means the ‘proper’ or ‘right’ way of
sitting. This is the posture adopted on formal occasions in traditional Japanese
culture, especially when sitting on tatami mats. In this position, the knees are
bent 180 degrees with the calves tucked under the thighs so that you sit on your
heels, toes pointed.

At the beginning and end of Japanese martial arts classes, e.g. aikido, karate,
judo, etc., participants will sink into this position, teachers and students bowing to
each other in respect. Seiza is also integral to traditional Japanese arts such as
the tea ceremony, flower arrangement or calligraphy. It is used during Buddhist
meditation and while performing on traditional musical instruments such as the
koto. In the past, the Japanese had their daily lives based around seiza and always
adopted this formal posture for eating, reading, writing, making conversation, and
various other indoor activities.
As with the wearing of the traditional kimono, seiza is no longer popular in modern
Japanese life, and in its strictest form is usually only practiced at funerals and
other Buddhist ceremonies. Some modern-day parents openly discourage their
children from adopting this posture out of fear their legs will 'go to sleep' after a
while. Seiza is blamed for blocking proper blood circulation and stunting growth,
although I have my doubts about this from a medical point of view.

One has to look in depth at this body position to fully understand its meaning. The
propo- nents of seizabelieve it leads to an alert mind and body. According to
Ogasawara Kiyonobu, author of Nihon no Reihou(Japanese Manners), when we
consider its mental and spiritual aspects, seiza is a peaceful and calming posture,
but not one of complete rest. Being peaceful and calm, one can adjust one’s mind
and pay good attention to the activities one is engaged in.

In the tea ceremony, adopting this 'correct posture' means not only showing
courtesy and sincerity toward the guests or tea master; it also has a significance
related to one’s field of vision and the direction of one's eyes. During the
ceremony they believe that all attendees are of equal status, and so in the tatami
room, where everybody sits at the same height on the ground, they should be able
to observe everything at the same level. There is usually a hanging scroll of
calligraphy on the wall and out of reverence participants should never look down
on it, always up to it. This is why seiza is believed to be the ideal sitting position;
it allows us to see others in the room as equals and to look up to something to be
revered.

Owing to the modernization (or westernization) of Japanese society, the style of

architecture and clothing has changed drastically. People no longer live in tatami-
matted rooms and no longer wear the traditional kimono in daily life. Nowadays
most Japanese eat, read and write at a table and sit down on a chair. Despite the
inherent advantages of seiza, to most people it seems strangely out of place in
modern-day society.

At the same time as Japan’s architecture and clothing have undergone this visible
trans- formation, the invisible culture of this society has also been changed,
sometimes to an extent not fully realized.

And this is not only happening in Japan; changes to our environment and our way
of doing things inevitably affect our lifestyles wherever we are in the world. New
ways of doing things may not be so much of an issue, but changes in our core
values always deserve close attention. Practicing seiza is no longer of key
importance, but being alert in mind, feeling a sense of equality between others
and ourselves, and showing respect for something worthy of respect are all
essential values we should never forget.

These values should be preserved in new shapes and forms when the traditional ones are
no longer appropriate.
Sitting techniques and rules
Sitting techniques

Most Westerners are not used to sitting on the floor, however, in Japan sitting upright on the floor is
common in many situations. For example, meals are traditionally held on a tatami floor around a low
table. Sitting on the floor is also customary during the tea ceremony and other traditional events.

The formal way of sitting for both genders is kneeling (seiza) as shown on the picture below. People
who are not used to sit in seiza style may become uncomfortable after a few minutes. Foreigners are
not usually expected to be able to sit in seiza style for a long time, and an increasing number of
Japanese people themselves are not able to do so either.

In casual situations, men usually sit cross-legged, while women with both legs to one side. The
former sitting style is considered exclusively male, while the latter is considered exclusively female.

women only seiza men only

Seating order

The most important guest sits on the honored seat (kamiza) which is located farthest from the
entrance. If there is a tokonoma in the room, the guest should be seated in front of it. The host or
least important person is supposed to sit next to the entrance (shimoza).

 The first thing that you need to learn before eating in Japan comprises of the two phrases - Itadakimasu
and Gochisosama (deshita). Whilst the former is said before beginning the meal and means, ‘I gratefully
receive’, the latter is said after the meals and stands for ‘Thank you for the meal’
 You may be provided with an o-shibori or a damp hand towel, before the meal. This is basically used to
wipe your hand before eating. Although men might wipe their face as well, a woman should only wipe
her hands with o-shibori. Once you are done with it, just fold it and put it back on tray.
 Rather than serving each person on an individual plate, Japanese share several dishes of food at the
table. Whilst you are having from shared dishes, you can move some dish from the opposite end of your
chopsticks onto your own plate.
 Using the chopsticks in the right manner is very important, while you are having food with Japanese
people.
 Lift your bowl of rice or soup while eating. It is considered to constitute good table manners.
 Making slurping noise whilst having noodles is not considered bad in Japan. Instead, Japanese people
believe that noodles taste better if they make slurping noises.
 If you have two to three varieties of food in your plate, alternate between the dishes. For instance, have
a bite of fish, then a bite of vegetable and then a bite of rice. This is preferred to finishing one dish
completely and then beginning with the other.
 Emptying the dishes till the last grain is considered to be good manners. Try not to leave any scraps in
your plate.
 Blowing nose, making burping sound and talking about toilet-related or similarly unappetizing topics are
not liked while having meals.
 Once you have finished eating, move the dishes back to the same position as they were before the start
of the meal. Replace the lid on dishes and put your chopsticks on the chopstick holder or back into their
paper slip.