Family is beyond the definition lies in the oxford dictionary that sounds “a group

consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit.” It is beyond
sharing the same last name, blood and genes that enables us to inherit wealth and
titles in society. It is what happen when two people fall in love, and from there
family is born. And that’s what makes family going ; Love, is the root of a close-knit
family and it takes additional persistent endeavours to make a family grow in unity,
just like how we took care of our flowers by routinely water it and give it adequate
sunlight to flourish. However, currently we are swamped with the news headlines
saying “parents abuse their child to death” and other countless terror rivalries
between relatives that leads insultation to one another across the globe. These is all
due to the lack of the main essence in togetherness which creates gap and cracks in
between family members. Thus, in my opinion, I do agree to a certain extent that
families are not close as they should be, as there are many facets to this issue but let
us focus on the time, gadgets over gathering, individuality and family upbringing.

As family grows and life progresses, it gets harder to find ways to connect and spend
time together. Even recently married couples can find it challenging to carve out
space in their schedules for togetherness. For instance, an endless pursuit of
material things requires increasing amounts of money. This translates into more
hours at work. Consequently, parents will caught in their busyness which creates
fatigue and deflects attention from pressing relational issues. Hence, children will
feel free to retreat into their electronic simulation, recreation and leisure-time-
activity or in other words ; Isolation in their own rooms. Plus, some children are even
sent to the boarding school or the university abroad, hence knock down the quantity
of time they can spend together. Without these quantity of time, we could not
create a safe environment where youngsters can feel accepted and valued for who
they are. Quality time, on the other hand, is essential to the process of family
bonding and yet the thing to note is that it is difficult to have quality without
quantity. It is not always possible to cram meaningful memories and life changing
conversations into a few minutes of contrived quality time, as the more family time
we create, the more oppurtunities we have to touch each other’s lives in profound
ways.

Shifting to the next point, these days in family gathering, there was no more the
sound of laughter, running children, sharing of jokes and stories or women gossiping
in the other room. It was just people glued to their smartphones, either busy
messaging people away from them rather then talking to the ones right in front of
them , or it was children sitting together and playing on their tablets and if they
speak to each other it was about which gadget they own, and what games or
features are present in the same. Nowadays, when people visit each other, it is no
longer “Hi, How are you?” Its more “Hi, what’s your WiFi password?”. Besides, as a
family, all of us go to restaurants for recreation but how many times do we actually
talk or see each other’s faces? All we do is just sit there and use our phones.
Moreover and recently, restaurants have begun to give free WiFi, which encourages
the usage of smartphones rather than face-to-face interaction. Gone are the times
when people would talk to each other, share stories and people actually looking out
of the window to see what’s happening in their surroundings. While these gadgets
have certain benefits too, but at the end, where are they leading us? These gadgets
have given us materialistic happiness, but have in return taken away our emotional
happiness. Needless to say, these gadgets are not only affecting our health and
isolating us from the world, but they are also emotionally tearing us apart and
contribute to the loose in family ties.

Nonetheless, while looking from another angle of perspective, individuality, subtlely

does not make time factor and physical means entirely define family closeness. The
chemistry between family members depends on oneself awareness of its importance
and willingness to sacrifice by all means, because when we do love someone, no
matter how busy we are, we will always make time for them. Time and distance
does not measure closeness when we acknowledge someone is very important and
dear to our life. We will make that single call everyday, miles away from home just to
celebrate how close we are, and thus strengthen the bonds we have, just like a
simple call to our mother asking how was her day, will keep her heart warm as it
gives her assurance that we will always keep the bond between family members,
safe and strong. An individual who are attentive and reflect well upon his ups and
downs in life, will be mould into a wise and caring being towards his surrounding,
and family will undeniably be on top of the list. Taking a doctor as an example, who
spent most of their time saving patients who are struggling to live, simultaneously
witness death everyday, has sensitize their idiosyncrasies to cherish every moments
they have and willing to go extra miles for their loved ones, as a quote sounds “you
will only realize you have lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stone” is
inevitable.

Last but not least, the environment that we have been brought up to will determine
our attributes because family is where we all belong and where our identity comes
from. A person is valued based on his family and upbringing. Therefore, those who
are raised up in the most affectionate atmosphere are more likely to be affectionate
and easily affectioned towards others, thus produce a family person who bonds
effortlessly. It is through a family that we learn the values of love, trust, hope, belief,
cultures, morals, traditions and every other little matter that concern to us. Looking
in retrospect, we tend to learn by example the sense of togetherness that was
potrayed and nurtured by our elders. It is the habit of enjoying our favourite meal
seasoned with love by our mother, taking part in the congregational prayer lead by
our father and even being a good listener to the nag of our little sister ; which grown
us into a person who stand the principle of “ family comes first”. These upbringings
of routines and rituals give families a sense of identity and help establish values
especially togetherness, as we are home cultured by our family members that
prioritizes interpersonal interactions and experience.

As a conlusion, there are no specifc measurement that validate family closeness as it

depends on personal belief and how we look upon things according to our situation
because some might live under the same roof but are not close to each other and
some may live faraway from home but close by heart. Yet on top of all, it is the small
gestures and effort to touch ones heart in rekindling and strengthening the
relationship beyond the title of the same flesh and blood. If we want to escape from
this numbing gap between families, we need to start revamp our schedule and
engage in some serious lifestyle planning, such as bringing childeren to take part in
charity and volunteering as serving the community reinforced prosocial behaviour
and empathy towards others. There is no shame to go back to square one and
revisit our basic values and priorities. Launch out the steps to reduce our outside
commitments and block out weekly family time on calendar. Life can get hectic and
relationships might get caught in the day-to-day rush, but a close-knot family is not
just born ; it is nurtured and encouraged. As The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu
said, "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." You can begin your
journey to a better family situation by, taking these initial steps.

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