Torne-Se Uma Bomba Motivacional - Inglês

I AM MOTIVATINAL BOMB
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INTRODUCTION
My mind always says that whenever you are going to do any

good work or going to take any big decision then you just
need motivation.
According to your Niks “motivation is a tool which is needed
to accomplish your dreams”. These dreams can be of any type
like dream of success, adventure , becoming a star ,happy
life, getting your love , having possessions of things,
becoming a doctor, engineer ,CA or IAS etc.
Whenever you feel negative and if you find nothing last in your life then I would refer you a book that
can surely change your life that is “I am Motivational Bomb”. Now you all must have a question that
why Am I talking about my own book..”arre wait kro bachcha.. ”there is a strong reason for it that
this book is written with full of motivation, adventure, dedication and burning thoughts to tear and
clear the negativity out of each reader of it.
Life is all about living it .You must be excited and crazy to live it and if u are hopeless in your journey
then plzzzzzzzzzzzz don’t tolerate such kind of torture and shout once that “I am motivational
bomb”.
Read this book to achieve your goals, get happiness and help others. people call me motivational
bomb because of my nature of collecting and providing motivational pills.so I thought to write this
book so that I can also share my approach and walking ways towards success and happiness.
I personally believe that if you have something more than you need then simply share it with those
who need it more you and I have learnt this from my inspiration “THE SANDEEP MAHESHWARI”.
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Everybody in this world is

a Motivational Bomb and
you just need to find out
your true desire..…
From:-NIks
Dedicated to my parents:-
Mr. sunil Kumar
Mrs. Veena
As well as
My wonderful teacher
CA Mukesh Singh Sir
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CHAPTER-1
Infinite Possibilities as there is no limit for success
Once you have begun to take personal responsibility (Step 1), outlined your vision
(Step 2) and decided how you will live a purpose driven life (Step 3), you can open
yourself up to thinking about infinite possibilities. Do you ever think about what
‘could be’ in your personal or professional life or what ‘could have been’? People
who take steps towards infinite possibilities are creating the right mindset to make
their dreams a reality. When we change our mindset and think about what we
desire as well as think about the ability to achieve it, we are living with the belief
of infinite possibilities. People who live such a life not only believe that their
dreams are possible, they take steps to help make them a reality.
Some characteristics of people who believe in infinite possibilities are:
 They reflect, write, listen, plan, prepare, visualize and are grateful often.
o The act of reflecting on and assessing your thoughts, feelings, actions and
the events in your life help you to better understand yourself and your
goals. A great way to do this is through journaling. Typically people
journal in a ‘long-hand’ format which is writing about everything you are
thinking, feeling and experiencing in life. Another format for journaling is
a ‘shorter-hand’ version which helps you focus on specific areas or
themes. A very good friend of mine, Liz Lassa, has created a journal
titled Spiritual Circle Journal that guides you through a shorter-hand
journaling process. Liz’s information is religious in nature, but you can
write using her journal in any way (non-religious if desired) you would
like.
 They think of abundance rather than scarcity.
o Thinking of the abundance in your life rather than the scarcity in it helps
you attract more of what you desire. Do you put more emphasis on what
you do have or could have rather than what you do not have? Do you
think about your potential for increasing your income rather than your
debt? Your mentality of living from a place of abundance versus living
from a place of scarcity (and fear) can greatly affect your ability to live a
life that offers infinite possibilities.
 They nurture the mind, body, and spirit.
o People who live a life of infinite possibilities prepare their mind, body and
soul for a life of health. They monitor what they put into their lives; they
are mindful and healthy eaters as well as being conscious of what they
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read, listen to and watch. They increase the amount of positive influences
that they have in their life and minimize the amount of negative influences.
 They serve others.
o Serving others so that we all can live fulfilling lives is a condition to living
a life of infinite possibilities. When we understand that we are all here to
support each other, whether that be in business (even highly profitable
corporations need customers and stakeholders) or our personal lives, we
can positively serve others. This mentally of service will positively come
back to us.
 They think Win-Win.
o As Dr. Stephen Covey states, “Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that
constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions.” He goes on to
explain that “Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or
you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both.”
 They are open to a variety of multiple roads or journeys to get them to their
goals.
o People who live with an infinite-possibilities mindset understand that there
may be many different roads that will get them to their end-goal. They
keep the end in mind and continuously and consciously take steps to get
there; working with all the distractions that life may have to offer.
I hope that you find that you have these characteristics and/or are comfortable to
incorporate these steps into your life. Please let me know if you take or have taken
some of the above steps and how they have affected your life.
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CHAPTER-2
Trackkkkkkkkkkk to success
A key reason that they feel this way is that they haven't spent enough time thinking
about what they want from life, and haven't set themselves formal goals. After all,
would you set out on a major journey with no real idea of your destination?
Probably not!
Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for
motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.
The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By
knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to
concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that can, so
easily, lead you astray.
Why Set Goals?
Top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields all set
goals. Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation . It
focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time and
your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the
achievement of those goals, and you'll see forward progress in what might
previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self-
confidence , as you recognize your own ability and competence in achieving the
goals that you've set.
Starting to Set Personal Goals
You set your goals on a number of levels:
 First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life (or
over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to
achieve.
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 Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must
hit to reach your lifetime goals.
 Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.
This is why we start the process of setting goals by looking at your lifetime goals.
Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then
next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.
Step 1: Setting Lifetime Goals
The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in
your lifetime (or at least, by a significant and distant age in the future). Setting
lifetime goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of
your decision making.
To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set
goals in some of the following categories (or in other categories of your own,
where these are important to you):
 Career – What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want
to achieve?
 Financial – How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related
to your career goals?
 Education – Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What
information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
 Family – Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good
parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your
extended family?
 Artistic – Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
 Attitude – Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the
way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior
or find a solution to the problem.)
 Physical – Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want
good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve
this?
 Pleasure – How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of
your life is for you!)
 Public Service – Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
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Spend some time brainstorming these things, and then select one or more goals in
each category that best reflect what you want to do. Then consider trimming again
so that you have a small number of really significant goals that you can focus on.
As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you
genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might
want. (If you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants –
however, make sure that you also remain true to yourself!)
Step 2: Setting Smaller Goals
Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that
you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan.
Then create a one-year plan, six-month plan, and a one-month plan of

progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals.
Each of these should be based on the previous plan.
Then create a daily To-Do List of things that you should do today to work towards
your lifetime goals.
At an early stage, your smaller goals might be to read books and gather
information on the achievement of your higher level goals. This will help you to
improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.
Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to
live your life.
Staying on Course
Once you've decided on your first set of goals, keep the process going by reviewing
and updating your To-Do List on a daily basis.
Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your
changing priorities and experience. (A good way of doing this is to schedule
regular, repeating reviews using a computer-based diary.)
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SMART Goals
A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While
there are plenty of variants (some of which we've included in parenthesis), SMART
usually stands for:
 S – Specific (or Significant).

 M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
 A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
 R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
 T – Time-bound (or Trackable).
For example, instead of having "to sail around the world" as a goal, it's more
powerful to use the SMART goal "To have completed my trip around the world by
December 31, 2015." Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation
has been completed beforehand!
Further Tips for Setting Your Goals
The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective, achievable goals:
 State each goal as a positive statement – Express your goals positively –

"Execute this technique well" is a much better goal than "Don't make this stupid
mistake."
 Be precise: Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you
can measure achievement. If you do this, you'll know exactly when you have
achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
 Set priorities – When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps
you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals, and helps to direct
your attention to the most important ones.
 Write goals down – This crystallizes them and gives them more force.
 Keep operational goals small – Keep the low-level goals that you're working
towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you
are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives
more opportunities for reward.
 Set performance goals, not outcome goals – You should take care to set goals
over which you have as much control as possible. It can be quite dispiriting to
fail to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control!
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In business, these reasons could be bad business environments or unexpected

effects of government policy. In sport, they could include poor judging, bad
weather, injury, or just plain bad luck.
If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over
the achievement of your goals, and draw satisfaction from them.
 Set realistic goals – It's important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of
people (for example, employers, parents, media, or society) can set unrealistic
goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and
ambitions.
It's also possible to set goals that are too difficult because you might not
appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how much skill
you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.
Achieving Goals
When you've achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done
so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress that
you've made towards other goals.
If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps
you build the self-confidence you deserve.
With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal
plans:
 If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.
 If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little
easier.
 If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
 If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether
to set goals to fix this.
Tip 1:
Our article, Golden Rules of Goal Setting , will show you how to set yourself up for
success when it comes to your goals. If you're still having trouble, you might also
want to try Backward Goal Setting .
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Tip 2:
It's important to remember that failing to meet goals does not matter much, just as
long as you learn from the experience.
Feed lessons you have learned back into the process of setting your next goals.
Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly
to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any
attraction any longer, consider letting them go.
Example Personal Goals
For her New Year's Resolution, Susan has decided to think about what she really
wants to do with her life.
Her lifetime goals are as follows:
 Career – "To be managing editor of the magazine that I work for."

 Artistic – "To keep working on my illustration skills. Ultimately I want to have
my own show in our downtown gallery."
 Physical – "To run a marathon."
Now that Susan has listed her lifetime goals, she then breaks down each one into
smaller, more manageable goals.
Let's take a closer look at how she might break down her lifetime career goal –
becoming managing editor of her magazine:
 Five-year goal: "Become deputy editor."

 One-year goal: "Volunteer for projects that the current Managing Editor is
heading up."
 Six-month goal: "Go back to school and finish my journalism degree."
 One-month goal: "Talk to the current managing editor to determine what skills
are needed to do the job."
 One-week goal: "Book the meeting with the Managing Editor."
As you can see from this example, breaking big goals down into smaller, more
manageable goals makes it far easier to see how the goal will get accomplished.
Key Points
Goal setting is an important method of:
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 Deciding what you want to achieve in your life.

 Separating what's important from what's irrelevant, or a distraction.
 Motivating yourself.
 Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
Set your lifetime goals first. Then, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you
need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Keep the process going by
regularly reviewing and updating your goals. And remember to take time to enjoy
the satisfaction of achieving your goals when you do so.
If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part
of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did
without it!
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CHAPTER-3
If you want to succeed faster, double your rate of failure.

Have you ever seen a child learn to ride a bike, or a toddler learn to walk? They
stumble and fall numerous times before getting it right. Mistakes are learning
opportunities. It takes failure after failure to create success. Believe you can and
you are halfway there. And never regret anything, because every little detail of
your life, including your mistakes, is what made you who you are today.
Here are twelve reminders to keep you motivated after a mistake or failure:
1. It’s okay. You will be okay. – Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.
Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break
free of your broken self. Never let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad
life. Just because today is painful doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be great. You
just got to get there. The best things usually happen when you least expect it.
So try to smile in the mean time. Not because life has been easy, perfect, or
exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and
grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you
don’t have. .
2. There is no success without failure. – A person who makes no mistakes is
unlikely to make anything at all. It’s better to have a life full of small failures
that you learned from, rather than a lifetime filled with the regrets of never
trying.
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3. Positive thinking creates positive results. – If you don’t like something, change
it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is
something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your
choice. Winston Churchill reminds us, “Success is moving from one failure to
another with no loss of enthusiasm.” The mind must believe it can do
something before it is capable of actually doing it. Negative thinking creates
negative results. Positive thinking creates positive results. Period. Things
always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn
out.
4. Success is always closer than it seems. – Your mistakes and failures should be
your motivation, not your excuse. Instead, place them under your feet and use
them as stepping stones. Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time
you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal. The only mistake that can
truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to
make a mistake. Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you
have the choice to get back up.
5. You are not your mistakes. – Life didn’t come with instructions. Accept that
mistakes will happen. You are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles,
and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your tomorrow.
No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide
open slate. What you do with it is up to you.
6. Life’s best lessons are learned at unexpected times. – Many of the greatest
lessons we learn in life we don’t seek on purpose. In fact, life’s best lessons
are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. So yes,
you will fail sometimes, and that’s okay. The faster you accept this, the faster
you can get on with being brilliant.
7. Mistakes are rarely as bad as they seem. – Mistakes and setbacks are rarely as
bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow
stronger. You should never let one dark cloud cover the entire sky. The sun is
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always shining on some part of your life. Sometimes you just have to forget
how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
8. Not getting what you want can be a blessing. – Not getting what you want is
sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck, because it forces you to reevaluate
things, opening new doors to opportunities and information you would have
otherwise overlooked. Remember, some things in life fall apart so that better
things can fall together.
9. You have the capacity to create your own happiness. – You can hold onto past
mistakes or you can create your own happiness going forward. A smile is a
choice, not a miracle. Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or
something to come along and make you happy. True happiness comes from
within. Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another
person or event to control your emotions.
10.Mistakes are simply a form of practice. – Every great artist was once an
amateur. The sooner you get comfortable with practicing and making
mistakes, the quicker you’ll learn the skills and knowledge necessary to master
your art. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100%
sure doing nothing won’t work. So get out there and try again. Either you
succeed or you learn a vital lesson.
11.You are making progress. – If you brush yourself off and keep pressing
forward, you will learn something and you will earn another chance to get it
right. Remember, no matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you
progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. Don’t waste
your time being upset about something you can’t change. Start over right now,
implement the lessons you have learned from your mistakes, and do it better
this time.
12.Life goes on. – Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later this
collection of mistakes, called experience, leads us to success. If it’s good, it’s
going to be wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s going to be an experience. Your
mindset is at the heart of your success. You have to take the good with the bad,
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smile with the sad, love what you have and be thankful for what you had.
Forgive yourself and others, but don’t forget. Learn from your mistakes, but
don’t regret. Life is change, things go wrong, and life goes on
Chapter-4
Success comes from experiences and experience comes from bad experiences
1) ENCOURAGES LATERAL THINKING
As we all make mistakes it makes great sense to learn from these and look for other
possible ways to resolve our situation. Failure encourages us to look for other
solutions that we ordinarily would not have thought about had things been
somewhat easier.
2) GIVES US EXPERIENCE
Do you remember going for your first job after school or after just completing
university? It was probably hard to get employed directly into the job you wanted
as the employer wanted those who had experience to work for them.
As we error and learn from our mistakes we tend to react accordingly making us a
little more aware of what needs to be done in order to achieve our objectives. If we
had succeeded immediately without tasting the disappointment associated with
failure then it's possible that we may not have not been so adventurous in looking
for other possibilities such as that outlined in the first point.
3) BUILDS CHARACTER
When we have "stuffed up" enough times one can go either way! We can choose to
throw the towel in and crawl into our shell thereby forgetting about what is most
dear and important to us or we can learn from the experience, gain confidence,
build character and become more the person that we ideally wish to be.
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Personally I like the latter of the two...
4) FAILURE ENCOURAGES THE STRONG AND DISCOURAGES THE WEAK!
If your determination, will, desire and hunger to succeed are as big as you think
then to fail along the way is simply taking a lengthy detour to where you want to
be. Nothing more! We've all been in city traffic jams. Sometimes it's easier (and
quicker) to go an extra twenty blocks out of your way to get home.
Sure, it's hard getting up after a dozen knock-downs in rapid succession but you'll
find a direct correlation between how quick you get back up and how long you stay
there as your experience increases.
(Scott's note: and it seems to be better if you find out early whether you are "cut-
out" for the endeavor as opposed to spending years and years in what you may not
be successful at accomplishing. This is NOT to say, "Don't Try" but to attempt to
generate a bit of perspective.
5) MAKES YOU HONEST WITH YOURSELF
If you find it hard or even impossible to justify to yourself why you're doing what
you're doing then maybe you're barking up the wrong tree. Try something else in
this case.
However, if your desire increases even though your successes have, to date, eluded
you then the realistic value of this goal has been determined. This is priceless. You
know you want it so for heaven's sake go and get it!!!
6) MAKES ONE MORE INTANGIBLE / THICKSKINNED
This depends if you have what it takes to go all the way. If you melt under pressure
then you'll probably give up. As things become more clearer with your experience
then nothing can touch you. You will begin to develop power from within! Your
self-confidence goes wild with "tunnel vision" offering only one outcome; that of
reaching the end. All the stuff you cop on the way you'll shake off and become a
better person for it.
Becoming thick skinned is really a by-product of character building with a bit

more; it shows the development of the individual and reflects the change in attitude
that brings the best out of us all.
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7) SUCCESS TOO SOON CAN GIVE FALSE CONFIDENCE
I've seen this time and time again with different types of businesses. They become
too big too quick. Normally their size increase is inversely proportional to their
ability to read books (of accountancy).
This is really a question of experience. Those who worked hard for a start then
followed this up by working smarter to get where they are at today will have a
much higher chance of succeeding in the long term than someone who made a
couple of right decisions early on but didn't develop due to a lack of exposure to
other possible problems etc. I don't mean that we should all struggle for a start to
make a success of what we're doing what I'm saying is that generally speaking
those who have had problems, learned from them and solved them have a better
chance of developing further simply due to their exposure and experience.
Succeeding too quickly may actually blind one's potential...
8) FAILURE ENCOURAGES IMPROVEMENT & PLANNING
If I keep "stuffing up" what I'm doing then obviously it's the operator who's lacking
and not the tools. Failing is one thing, but making the same futile mistake
repetitively is just plain ridiculous. So, if this seems to be happening it probably
makes good sense to sit down and re-analyze your approach. Sure it's possible to
do this when you've succeeded as well to look when looking to the next task and
goal but there's a sense of urgency about this when things aren't going to plan.
Failing is simply a way of finding out that your methods of the day didn't work. It's
not a bad thing, it just requires a gentle grease an oil change, a lubrication here
and there and then you can put your vehicle back on the road and test the re-
alignment once again. Through careful planning and observation, failure will
ALWAYS push you in the direction of success if you use it as the stepping stone for
goal achievement that it so rightfully is.
9) FAILURE REVEALS YOUR WEAKNESSES
Are you someone who passes on all the stuff you don't do very well or would you
rather stick at it, making a few errors along the way to eventually master the art?
Take a simple tennis match for example. Do you run around your backhand to use
your forehand and develop half a game or do you feed your backhand until it
becomes as good as your forehand?
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Use failure as a chance to strengthen those areas that are letting you down.
By better understanding your weaknesses, you can more easily convert them into
strengths.
10) SUCCESS IS THE ATTITUDE FAILURE IS THE LEVER
Develop a successful attitude and let failure lever and assist you with it's strength
and power of learning and understanding. Do not allow failure to absorb and
destroy your spirit. Gain strength from knowing your desired outcome is one step
closer.
If you have 100 ways you would like to try to get your desired result then one
wrong turn just involves backing-up a tad and altering your game plan with your
newfound knowledge. The world provides you with an abundance of opportunity so
for heaven's sake don't take the easy way out and let yourself down because you
screwed up a few times. Build on your knowledge; apply it, use it, do it, make it, be
it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Chapter-5
Dream Book
How did you make your Dream Book? I have been asked that question so many
times over the past 13 years ever since I designed “My Life Goals” Book and am
surprised I didn’t think to post this sooner, but as they say “better late than
never”.
It is flattering that most everyone who sees it wants to have a book just like it.
When I tell them how much effort was required to make it, very few are willing to
put in the time to make it happen. So, with this understanding I am going to
condense my process into 4 steps to help you build and designed your own
Dream/Goals Book.
Warning: For those who have done this, happiness and success has followed. If
you are prepared for this then please read on….
1) Create a Be, Do, Have List – Before you create a book you will need to
determine what it is that you want. It is important to decide what you’d like to truly
BE, the activities you’d most like to DO and the possessions (emotional and
material) you want to HAVE. Take all the time you need as this list should be very
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expansive and have little regard for what is “realistic”. I mean, this is DREAM
Book, right?
Here are a couple examples:
BE - father, basketball coach, millionaire, healthy….
DO – climb mountain, skydive, watch Sumo wrestling match, visit Egypt etc….
HAVE – Mercedes, million dollars checking acct, 3 kids, all my teeth for life…
2) Highlight Your Top Picks – Once you have this massive and unedited list
created the next step is to then pick the ones that really “feel right” with you.
Hopefully, if you are really diving into this you will have created such a list that it
will probably take 2-3 lifetimes to complete. This is great ’cause it allows you to go
over the list again and sort through the items that most resonate with you. So,
simply read over what you created and start highlighting the ones that stick out the
most to you, the things you could see yourself in THIS LIFETIME accomplishing
and getting super excited about.
(3) Gather Images for each

Dream – Now that you have your starting list it is time to find images through
magazines, internet, or personal photos that represent each of the items you
highlighted on your BE, DO, HAVE lists. Once you have images for each one you
create a book. However you’d like to create the book is up to you, but I bound mine
together in a way that it was durable so I could carry it with me wherever I’d like
to go.
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4) Stamp it a Success – You could certainly leave it at that, but I take it one step
farther. If I have the ability I take a picture of me accomplishing the dreams/goals
in my book and substitute the old image with my pictures. I then use my red stamp
titled SUCCESS on each of the items I have accomplished. It is so awesome to go
through the book and track all the DREAMS I am accomplishing and fill my book
up with successes.
I wish you all the best as you create the life you want and strive towards your
dreams. The fun is in the journey so happy travels.
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Chapter-6…
Trusting Yourself More (When Making Big Decisions)
There’s a voice deep inside us. A soft voice that tells us our truths. An all knowing
voice that comes from a place of self-love. Not the shallow but louder voice of self-
doubt but a voice born into our soul that comes from love, purity, compassion and
wisdom. Let’s call it our “soul voice”. It wants to guide us, it wants what’s best for
us, it wants us to fulfill the longings of our soul.
Yet too often we ignore it. We hear the opinions of others, loudly washing out that
quiter inner voice of love. And those outside opinions create a conflict with our
soul voice, often paralyzing us when it comes to making important decisions.
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Trusting yourself is particularly difficult for people who feel things deeply. People
who bruise easily. People who absorb the emotions of those around them, who feel
the pain of others as if it is their own.
This ability to feel deeply, empathize, absorb, and take it all in so profoundly (the
very qualities that help us heal and serve others so well), is often what leads to our
own self doubts and blocks. Blocks that prevent us from feeling secure in ourselves,
from feeling trustworthy in our own eyes.
Just as easily as we can absorb someone else’s sadness, we also absorb criticism,
especially if it was given during vulnerable times in our life. We take it in, deeply,
and let it perculate through our cells until it becomes embedded in our
programming.
The qualities we’re able to give so well and freely to others are often the hardest
things to give to ourselves. So while we so easily help others to feel comforted,
secure, understood, validated, and respected, we dump the doubts of the world
upon ourselves. We can help others connect to their own soul voices but we often
can’t hear our own.
And so we wonder around in confusion when important decisions are on the line.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We can use the gifts we give to the world and direct
them to ourselves.
We can learn to trust ourselves and make decisions with clarity. But this is not a
switch you turn on and off, it’s a practice, a nurturing.
Here are five steps to growing your sense of trust in yourself:
1. Connect with Your Soul Voice.
It’s not easy to hear our soul voice through all the doubt and confusion circulating
around in our head.
To access it think of when you’re helping someone you cherish with a problem.
You see them struggling, you want to fix it all for them, you want to heal every
aspect of their pain, you see nothing but their potential, you offer nothing but
helpful solutions. That place of love you’re approaching them from is often straight
from your soul voice.
When your attention is directed outwards towards helping someone else, your
blocks are often released, allowing you to approach their problem with purity and
clarity.
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Find that voice. That egoless voice born of pure compassion and respect. Find that
voice and practice using it on yourself. This is a practice you must do every day
until your soul voice is the loudest one you hear.
2. Substantiate Your Trustworthiness.
Think back to times when you followed your inner instincts against the opinions of
others and you experienced a favorable outcome. And think back to the times when
you followed the opinions of others against your inner instincts and you suffered
because of it.
List out those times. What impact did each of those decisions have on your life?
What would your life be like if you had chosen differently?
Your soul voice never lets you down. When you truly connect to it it will lead you
to where you need to go time and time again. You may not realize it as it’s
happening, but if you look back at some of the decisions you’ve made in the past
based upon a longing deep within you, you’ll like see just how knowing your soul
voice truly was. You’ll likely see that it’s been guiding you effectively all along,
helping you to grow and evolve along the way.
When you’re faced with a big decision, think of those times and your trust in
yourself will grow.
3. Stretch and Expand.
When faced with an important decision, ask yourself which path will stretch and
expand you the most. Which path will challenge you to grow – professionally,
spiritually, personally, or in whatever way your decision focuses on.
Which path pushes you outside of your comfort zone in a positive way versus the
path that makes you feel like you want to crawl inward, shrink or run.
The path that challenges you to grow may be scary but it is likely the path you’re
being called to take. In analyzing it this way you’ll be able to see if you’re basing
your decision on fear based thinking or on the deeper voice that believes in you
and sees your potential.
4. Align Yourself with People Who Understand and Support You.
There’s no faster way to stifle your soul voice than if you’re surrounded by people
who don’t get you, who criticize you, who belittle your opinions and smother you
with theirs, who make you shrink. This can be particularly damaging if it’s coming
from family members.
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It’s hard to hear your soul voice in such a hostile environment. And so you shrink,
smother and quiet your inner wisdom instead of working on expanding it.
Surround yourself with people who love, support and nurture you, people who help
you stretch and expand, and your soul voice will thrive.
5. Let Go and Look Forward.
Make your decision. Make it from a place of love. And then let go. Don’t try to
move forward while looking backward. Trust in the process of life. Trust that your
soul voice is conspiring with the Universe to get you to go exactly where you need
to be.
The more faith you put into your decision, the better your outcome will be. Make
your decision and then only look forward. See the end in sight and your soul will
continue to conspire with the Universe to get you there.
And when voices of doubt and judgment inevitably come flooding back through,
just stop and pause. Close your eyes. Meditate Go for a walk in nature Go
through these steps again and wait for your soul voice to rise back up. Welcome it
back in.
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CHAPTER-7
True secret of success
This one is a little long and has no pictures, but it’s IMPORTANT!
If I had to choose one quality that increases a person’s chances at success more
than anything else, it would be TAKING ACTION.
ACTION is THE KEY to SUCCESS. Absolutely nothing is more important than
being proactive.
No amount of positive thinking, studying, reading books, attending webinars
(although these things are important) will EVER substitute your taking action.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m big on self-improvement and person
development.
I constantly get caught in cycles of over-learning and under-doing. You don’t

actually gain any real knowledge, perspective, and insight until you
actually TRY the things you learn about. Then you can begin to build an applicable
understanding of the subject.
If you are serious about being successful, never let a SINGLE DAY pass without
you proactively getting your message out to your target market.
Do this CONSISTENTLY, day in and day out. Consistency in taking action is the
dominant reason behind success in any business or skill.
ACTION TRUMPS EVERYTHING.
While almost everybody is looking for the next magic bullet, the next shiny
object…theDOERS just keep on DOING.
If you do nothing else but focus EVERY DAY on getting something done to move
your business forward, you wont be able to stop your eventual success.
The ability to JUST GET THINGS DONE supersedes intelligence, talent, and
connections in determining the speed of advancement in anything.
Despite the simplicity of this concept there is a perpetual shortage of people who
excel at putting ideas into action RIGHT NOW.
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Don’t wait for conditions to be perfect for you to take action, because they will
never be. Something will always feel off, and your subconscious mind will always
justify complacency. You must BEAT your subconscious into SUBMISSION.
Practice doing things rather than learning about them. Like this article…this
article took me 25 minutes of thinking to even open up my laptop and begin
writing. THAT IS TERRIBLE. I finally realized that I need to be WRITING
SHIT rather than THINKINGabout doing it.
The longer an idea sits in your head without being acted upon, the weaker it
becomes. After a few days, details will start to become hazy. After a week, it is
forgotten completely, and will likely never be touched upon seriously again. If you
would have taken action on that idea, it could have ballooned instantly, bringing
you instant success, fame, riches, but you will never know now because you did not
take any action. You will only have a memory of having a decent idea, rather than
the ability to test, experiment, learn, and grow with that idea.
Ideas alone do not and can not bring success. Ideas are important, but they are
only valuable after they have been implemented. One mediocre idea that’s been put
into action is infinitely more valuable than a dozen brilliant ideas that you’re
saving for “some other day” or the “right timing”. If you have an idea that you
really believe in, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Unless you take action, your idea
will remain WORTHLESS.
Once you are in action, implementing ideas, it is hard to stop. An object in motion
tends to stay in motion, and you want to use that to your advantage. After you get
the ball rolling, you’ll build confidence and things will continue to snowball and
become easier and easier. Kill your fear by taking action and then build on that.
If you wait for inspiration to slap you into action, your work sessions will be few
and far between. Instead of waiting, start your creative motor mechanically. If you
need to write something, force yourself to sit down and write. Put pen to paper.
Brainstorm. Doodle. By moving your hands you will magically stimulate the flow
of ideas and begin find inspiration in yourself, where it truly exists.
Focus on what you can do in the present moment. Don’t worry about what you
should have done last week or what you might be able to do tomorrow. If you
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speculate too much about the past or the future, you wont get anything done.
Tomorrow or next week turns into never more often than not.
Get down to business immediately. When I opened my laptop to write this article, I
went around and sat on Facebook for 15 minutes, went through some emails and
RSS feeds, and checked my to-do lists (as if something changed). Why did I do
this? What a complete and utter WASTE of my time. I should have been writing
this article to bring value to you! These distractions will cost you serious time and
money if you don’t learn to bypass them and get down to business immediately! By
becoming someone who gets to the point you’ll be more productive and people will
look to you as their leader.
It takes real courage to take action without instructions, permissions, or support.
Perhaps that is why initiative is a rare quality that’s coveted by managers and
executives everywhere. Seize the initiative. When you have a good idea, start
implementing it without being told to. Once people see you are serious about
getting things done, they will want to join in. The people at the top don’t have
anybody telling them what to do. If you want to join them, you should get used to
taking MASSIVE independent action, with absolutely no support (or often, negative
support).
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CHAPTER-8
Success Comes After Big Goals and Bold Actions
It’s easy to look at successful, high growth companies and think, “I want
that.”
But what’s missed in examining a company’s current success is the steps
they took to create the conditions for growth.
Success is a result
Success comes after you make Big Goals and take Bold Actions.
National Logistics Services (NLS), for example, is the go-to logistics
provider for fashion and footwear companies. The company is growing in
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excess of 30% year-over-year, and every month has been profitable since
June 2010. In fact, they hired over 100 employees in the first quarter of
this year alone — growing their team to 450 people.
But to achieve this level of growth started with a choice.
Prior to 2008 NLS were generalists. Peter Reaume, CEO of NLS explains,
“We were doing a bit of everything: entertainment, healthcare, food, and
pharmaceuticals. We were growing, but we had no brand. It wasn’t
sustainable. We were not experts in anything.”
To tilt the odds in their favor they made a choice: grow a brand.
Big Goals take sacrifice

NLS made deep, painful sacrifices to grow a brand.
To create the conditions for growth they repositioned the company from
being generalists to experts in the fashion and footwear category. And i t
cost them.
Many companies experience a terrifying lull after they commit to a niche
— what I call sales purgatory. NLS went eighteen months with virtually
no new sales, and they did it with over 250 employees!
It was a painful and scary transition, but they knew they had to commit to
their Big Goals if they wanted to grow a brand.
No Guts, No Glory
Creating a high growth company is not accidental. It takes guts to commit
to such big, audacious goals. It takes guts to stick to your goals when
your company is suffering and making deep sacrifices. It takes guts when
everyone else in your industry isn’t following the same path.
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But the few companies with the guts to commit to Big Goals and take Bold
Actions have an opportunity to outperform their peers.
CHAPTER-9
Make the life heaven
If you could just pick one or two (or seven) habits to create in the next few months
— habits that will have the most impact on your life — what would they be?
I often get asked this question, because people are overwhelmed when it comes to
starting positive life changes.
They ask me: what one or two habits should they start with?
It’s not an easy question. There are so many changes I’ve gone through, from
quitting smoking to simplifying my life to reducing debt to many more. And they’ve
all seemed life-changing, and they’ve all seemed important.
But if I were to start again, and had to pick one or two, it would be the one or two
listed below. The list that follows is in order of what I think I’d do the first 6-7
months of changing my life … but realize that every person is different. No one
should follow my choices exactly — you’ve got to figure out what works for you.
That said, if you followed the program below, and worked to develop these habits,
you’d probably do pretty well.
“Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.” – Confucius
How to Develop the Habits
I’ve written a number of times about developing habits, but here are the basics:
 Do a 30-day challenge, focusing on just ONE habit.
 Write it out on paper, along with your motivations, obstacles, and strategies for
overcoming them.
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 Commit fully, in a public way.

 Log your progress.
 Remain publicly accountable — report on your progress each day.
 Have support for when you falter — either in real life or online.
 Reward every little success.
 If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again.
 Autopilot Achievement: How to Turn Your Goals Into Habits
The Seven Little Habits That Can Change Your Life
OK, so now you know how to form a habit — and remember, only do them one at a
time — but you want to know the seven little habits. Here they are, in my order of
preference (but yours may be different):
1. Develop positive thinking. I put this first because I think it’s the keystone habit
that will help you form the other important habits. Sure, positive thinking by itself
won’t lead to success, but it certainly goes a long way to motivate you to do the
other things required.
I learned this when I quit smoking — when I allowed myself to think negative
thoughts, I would end up failing. But when I learned how to squash negative
thoughts and think positive ones instead, I succeeded. This discovery lead to me
practicing this over and over, until I was able to form just about any habit I
needed. It’s been invaluable to me, and I think it could be to most people.
Focus on this habit first, and you’ll have a much easier time with any of the others.
Start by becoming more aware of your negative self-talk — do a little tally sheet
throughout the day, marking a tally each time you notice a negative thought. Soon
you’ll recognize them, and you can squash them.
2. Exercise. People who’ve been hearing me harp on about exercise might roll
their eyes. Sure, exercise is healthy and all that, but how exactly is it life
changing? I’m glad you asked:
 It makes you feel better about yourself, and more confident. That leads to better
success with other positive changes.
 It reinforces the positive thinking habit — you need to think positive in order to
sustain exercise.
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 It relieves stress and gives you time to think — this leads to better mental well-
being in your life overall.
 It helps with creativity. Don’t ask me to prove it, except to say that my best ideas
and brainstorming sessions come from when I exercise.
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CHAPTER-10
We make habits & habits make us
I have previously written about how the habit of exercising every day has helped
me tremendously. Doing something every day is such a powerful way to form a
habit that I thought I would make a list of 24 habits that are worth doing on a daily
basis. Note: I have divided these into morning, day and night although some could
obviously be under different headings.
The Morning
1. Wake Early: I am a big fan of waking at 5am and spending time working on
myself before going to work.
2. Exercise: when I had the goal of exercising 4 times a week I found it was very
easy to tell myself I will exercise tomorrow instead. Setting the expectation of daily
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exercise removed this as a potential excuse and I have since reaped the benefits of
this daily habit.
3. Review or (even better) Rewrite Your Goals: each day I try to get closer to
achieving my short, medium and long term goals. Starting the day by reviewing or
rewriting my goals means that I have better awareness of them throughout the day.
As Robin Sharma says:
“With better awareness you can make better choices and when you make better
choices, you will see better results.”
4. Read and/ or Listen to Motivational Material: in the morning a whole day of

endless possibilities lies ahead. I motivate myself to play my best game by reading
and listening to inspirational books/ audiobooks. For audiobooks I recommend the
free introductory offer from Audible.
5. Visualize the Day Ahead: I like to take a few minutes to shut my eyes and
visualize what I want happen in the coming day. It’s amazing how often my desires
become reality when I do this.
6. Write a “To Do” List: I like to write out a list in my diary of the important tasks
I need to do that day. As they are completed I put a line through them. So simple,
yet so effective.
7. Check the News Headlines: I think it’s important to have an idea of what is
happening in our community and the world. Also if don’t at least check the main
stories, I find it is easy to feel left out of conversations throughout the day. Having
said this, much of the news is negative and I’m careful not to spend too much time
digesting it unless there is a particular story of note.
8. Blog: I find there are many benefits to blogging. Starting a blog can help you
gain clarity, be creative, make new friends, and may even generate you some
income. If you would like to start a blog I recommend Squarespace.
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9. Take Time to Look Good: it’s a reality of life that people judge us by our
appearance. I take a few minutes each morning to ensure I go out into the world
looking the best I can.
The Day
10. Smile. You’ve probably heard about the importance of smiling, but as the
saying goes“common sense is often quite uncommon.” I try to carry a smile with
me on throughout the day. I find that not only does it make me happier, but it can
make other people smile and open the door to conversations with people I haven’t
talked to before.
11. Put First Things First: I try to avoid having my day controlled by tasks that are
urgent , but not necessarily important. The habit of putting first things first is about
organizing and executing your life around your deepest priorities.
12. Under-Promise and Over-Deliver: at work I try to go the extra mile on my
projects, especially on the details many people might miss. I set reasonable
deadlines for myself and, when possible, try to get them done early.
13. Be Proactive: being proactive means showing initiative and taking the
responsibility to make things happen. Whenever I want to get something done, I
ask myself: “what can I do to make this happen?”
14. Snack Well: I substitute the chips, candy and chocolate with fruit, vegetables
(carrots and celery are great to chomp on) and nuts.
15. Connect with Nature: I find spending time outdoors in nature is great for my
sense of well-being. On work days I like to go for a walk during my lunch break.
16. Ping a Friend: I try to send a quick email or text to a friend each day. It’s a
great way to stay in touch with friends when I am extremely busy.
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17. Save: I save at least 10% of each paycheck. A great way to find the money to
save is to break it down to a daily amount, for example $10-15. By taking account
of the Latte Factor I find it easy to save this much.
The Evening
18. Have Family Time: I believe it’s important to be present most evenings. Family
time is about quantity and quality.
19. Take Time for Myself: I also believe it’s important to spend a little time each
day just for me. Some things I like to do: read, write, meditate, yoga, play music
and/ or visit the gym.
20. Tidy Up: a cluttered house can lead to a cluttered mind and fuzzy thinking. I
find it’s best to stay on top of things by tidying up each day.
21. Wind Down: I try to switch off the computer and the TV about 30 to 60 minutes
before bedtime and let my brain have some down time after a long day. I sleep far
more peacefully when I do this.
22. Review My Day: I find this is a great way to hold myself to account for taking
action throughout the day. Did I get closer to achieving my goals? Did I complete
my to do list? Did my day go as planned? If not, why not?
23. Say I Love You: don’t just assume that your family members know you love
them. I say these words to my wife and sons at least once per day.
24. Go to Bed At A Reasonable Time: the first habit of this list (waking early)
begins by going to bed at a reasonable time and getting a good nights sleep.
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CHAPTER-11
Hapinesssssssssss is only in today
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
I have recently come face to face with mortality—not my own, my friend’s. At only
37, Daniel left behind an army of people whose lives he had touched in some way,
including my own.
At 33 I have just qualified as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist. At the time
Daniel passed away I was working as a Human Resources Manager, a profession I
had originally trained in and remained in for over 10 years.
A number of factors and events led me to make the leap and set up my own practice
as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist, but the overriding reason was simply
to follow my dreams.
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Many of my friends told me how inspiring I was to them, others told me I was
brave, and the rest gave me a look of awe that suggested I was crazy.
Words of well meaning advice were spoken.
“Why don’t you work part time while you get the business underway?”
“It’s going to take time for you to get regular clients you know; they won’t come
overnight.”
“You can always go back to human resources if it doesn’t work.”
All of this came from my nearest and dearest friends and family! I didn’t listen to
any of them because I knew from the depths of my soul that this was the right thing
to do, and I knew their words were only echoes of their own fears about life and
striking out—not my own.
Every day we are faced with stories that remind us of our own mortality as human
beings, but when youlose someone you love with all your heart, it changes
something deep within you.
The everyday drama we allow into our lives falls away and suddenly seems
insignificant. We find ourselves reaching out and opening our heart to let others
in. We start to notice the simple pleasures.
We become acutely aware that we never really know when our time might be up,
and we make a pledge to let joy into our life.
That was the pledge I made.
I can’t bring back my darling friend, but I can honor him every day by ensuring
that my journey is filled with people and experiences that make my heart sing; by
letting my emotions and intuition guide metoward what feels good; by choosing
freedom over fear; and by remembering that I am the only thing that can stop me
from making those choices.
What dreams, desires, feelings, or needs of your own have you pushed aside? And
if you followed your own dreams and bliss, how would your life change for the
better?
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You are the driver of your own life, and as you journey through, you have choices
about which paths to take. The people you pick up along the way can influence
your life, but you still remain in control.
These ideas may help you start creating more joy in your life:
1. Tell a new story.
What’s your current story, and how does it make you feel? If it doesn’t make you
feel good when you tell it, then stop telling it. Instead, tell a story that makes you
feel inspired and positive. Maybe you haven’t found your calling yet and feel as if
every day is ground hog day.
You can change that.
I stayed working in Human Resources for 10 years but I had always been
interested in Life Coaching. Up until two years ago I had done nothing about that
interest until one day I decided to make a change and looked into some local
evening courses.
I found one starting a few weeks later and got the last place on it. A coincidence? I
think not! Spending a few hours a week learning something new, just for the
pleasure of it, was exhilarating.
I changed my story from “I just work in HR” to “At the moment I work in HR, but
I’m doing a course in Life Coaching and I’m not yet sure where that may lead me,
but it sure is exciting!”
What have you always wanted to do in life but have been too afraid to attempt?
What activities throughout your life have given you the greatest feeling of
achievement? If you could do anything what would you do and what would bring
you a step closer to that?
2. Feel the thoughts that make you feel good.
Sometimes it can feel that our thoughts are thinking us and that we have no control
over them. How many of the 60,000 thoughts you have each day are anxious,
critical, defensive, or frustrated?
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Most of our everyday thinking is driven from the unconscious mind, which is far
greater than the conscious mind. This is why it may feel an impossible task to rein
your thoughts in. But as with most things, a little practice can go a long way.
Reach for the thoughts that make you feel good and then practice holding on to
them. If, for example, you have had a bad day at work, don’t tell the story about it
because that won’t make you feel good!
Don’t ruminate on the conversations or events of the day because that will only
serve to make you tenser and may affect your ability to have a good night’s sleep.
Instead let go of the thoughts and think of something else that makes you feel good.
It may be something you have planned for the weekend. It may be a memory of time
spent with your partner. Or it could just be an inner knowing that you don’t have
to think this way, followed by good feelings about that.
The more you can get a hold on your thoughts, the greater control you will gain
over your emotions. After all, why would you choose to feel anything but joyful,
elated, on top of the world, clear-minded, creative, enthusiastic, or eager? What
will it be like when you can feel like that for most of your day?
3. Spring clean your belief system.
We are powerful creators of our own reality, but so many of us don’t realize our
own true potential. We are all equal; not one of us is more “special” than
another.
The only difference is that there are some people who have learned to shine a
beam on what they really want in life and then have the belief to make that happen.
When you believe it, you feel it right through to your very core. Many people
believe they have to live with the cards they have been dealt, that life is tough, or if
you want something you have to fight for it.
Yet beliefs are only thoughts that we keep thinking. No belief is set in stone.
As humans we have a great capacity for sticking to false beliefs. We once believed
that the world was flat until someone convinced us otherwise. I have run two
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marathons in the past two years. Yet if you asked me five years ago if I could run
even a half marathon, I wouldn’t have believed it.
What beliefs have you got that are holding you back? If you really challenge those
beliefs you will see them start to crumble, allowing you to build new, stronger,
more positive beliefs.
Ask yourself “Where has this belief come from?” “What does this belief cost me on
a daily basis?” “What would happen if I let go of this old belief?”
4. Get happy now!
So many times I hear people say “I’ll be happy when I lose some weight.” “I’ll be
happy when I retire.” “I’ll be happy when I get a boyfriend.” “I’ll be happy when
I get a place of my own.”
What about being happy now? Happiness is an emotion. If you reach for thoughts
that make you feel happy, you can be happy right now! When you focus your
attention on feeling happy now, the rest falls into place, and you find yourself
attracting new things into your life.
My tried and tested “happiness pill” is to think of the time I went travelling in
South America. I close my eyes and imagine I am back there with no more than a
backpack, feeling the sun warm against my skin, sitting outside a cafe sipping a
cool drink as I soak up the sights and sounds before my eyes. It never fails to raise
a smile on my lips and a glow in my heart.
5. Get into gratitude.
Be grateful for what you have in your life now. Take a few moments every day to
really savor what makes you happy and give thanks for it.
It could be waking up in a warm bed, enjoying a piece of cake in a cafe while
watching the world go by, walking with your dog in the fresh air, or simply being
healthy.
When you create feelings of gratitude, you change the feeling in your heart. Just
think what effect having a heart bursting with gratitude can have on your mind and
your body!
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6. Create a bliss board.
Take a large sheet of cardboard and fill it with pictures, captions, or words that
you want your life to reflect. So many of us know what we don’t want, but are not
clear what we do want.
Pin it to a wall in your home so that every day you are reminded of what you want
in life. I found a wonderful caption in a magazine that read “educating body, mind,
heart, and soul.” Every morning I see it on my bliss board and it sets my day off
with the right intention.
7. Take a leap of faith.
To move forward and allow new experiences, new energy, and new people into
your life you have to let go of whatever isn’t working for you.
It does take confidence and self-belief, but this is where banishing the old beliefs
and replacing your old negative thoughts with positive ones comes in. If practiced
regularly, this will create the self-worth and self-reliance needed to make that leap
of faith.
Take a moment now to reflect on the above and on your life. Remind yourself of
just how wonderful this rich tapestry of life is, that there is a sea of opportunity
ripe for the taking out there, if only we would take it.
But above all, remember that no matter what is happening to any one of us, the
only thing that really matters at the end of it all is that our lives were filled with
joy.
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CHAPTER-12
Three things are needed
Excitement,excitement and excitement
If someone were to write a book about your life, would the title be something
like The Predictable Tale of (Insert Your Name Here)’s Monotonous Existence —
or would it be The Exciting Escapades of (Your Name)’s Wild and Adventurous
Life ?
Your real life probably falls somewhere in-between agonizing moments and
wanton exhilaration — perhaps long stretches of boredom (or busyness)
interspersed with moments of joy. (And even fun and joy can become predictable
with repetition.)
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As creatures of habit, our routines are comfortable and comforting. We humans

tend to resist too much excitement even while we long to live a more exciting life.
Living an exciting life appears great in theory, but it’s a bit daunting when we’re
faced with the possibility of actually doing something to make it exciting.
Want to live an exciting life?

Does it mean we have to take up skydiving?
Become a spy?
Drive an expensive red sports car?
Those are exciting for sure, but most of us don’t have the money or the stomach for
that kind of excitement on a regular basis. In fact, I think excitement is relative to
our individual personalities and life circumstances.
At age 26, excitement for me was moving to New York for a fashion career. At age
36, with two toddlers under age three, my thrill was leaving the house for a couple
of hours to walk around WalMart.
You don’t have to do or be something dramatic to have a more interesting and
exciting life. Small and simple changes, shifts in thinking, and self-
improvement stretches can shake up your world enough to make it more fun,
fascinating and adventurous — on your own terms.
You can get out of the rut of your everyday routine and put some sparkle into your
lifestyle with just a little creative thinking and planning.
PLZZZZZZ make life more exciting.
1. Make room. It’s hard to add excitement to your life if your life is overflowing
with mindless tasks and chores. Can you simplify, delegate, or eliminate any of
these boring and mindless tasks to make room for excitement? Sometimes we fill
our lives with these things in order to avoid stretching ourselves toward happiness.
Is that you?
2. Shake up your morning routine. Instead of following the same wake-up routine
every day, do it differently on occasion. Get up ten minutes early and have
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breakfast outside. Turn off the TV and put on music. Make love before work. Drive
a different way. Just starting your day differently will give you a little thrill.
3. Be the host. Take the initiative to entertain, and invite friends or family over for
dinner or something different — like a wine tasting or game night.
4. Move your furniture. Rearrange or redecorate a room, switching things up

enough that it feels new and different.
5. Go cheer. Attend a competitive, fast-paced sporting event like tennis, basketball,
or racing where the energy and excitement of the sport is contagious.
6. Get a makeover. Get a new haircut, have your make-up done by a pro, buy a
new outfit, or try a new style. It’s even more fun if you do this with a friend.
7. Cut a rug. Now wear that new outfit or haircut to go out to a dance club — or
just dance at home with great music and friends.
8. Find exciting people. Look around at people you know whose lives seem
interesting and exciting. Take the initiative to get to know them so that you can be
included in some of their excitement.
9. Plan an adventure trip. Even if you can’t afford to take a trip now, just
researching, planning, and dreaming can give you a boost and build excitement for
the time when you can afford to go. Include saving money as part of your
planning!
10. Learn something new. Study a new language, a new skill, a hobby. You will
open doors to meeting new people who share your interests and abilities and gain
a sense of confidence and achievement.
11. Shake up your sex life. Be adventurous. Read the Kama Sutra. Join the Mile
High Club. Find a new location. Just do it.
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12. Get out of the house. Step away from the TV or computer and do something.
Take a walk with a friend. Go to the bookstore and browse. Visit a local gallery or
museum.
13. Go on a weekend excursion. Plan a fun getaway for 2-3 days for some outdoor
or indoor adventure. REI offers a variety of adventure travel including some great
weekend getaways if you want some ideas.
14. Test drive a sports car. Ok, so you may not be able to buy one, but that doesn’t
mean you can’t try it out. Go take a spin behind the wheel of your favorite car.
15. Arrange a secret rendezvous. Surprise your beloved with a romantic evening or
overnight hotel stay.
16. Try an unusual recipe. Cook something that you’ve never tried before or order
something unusual at a restaurant that you wouldn’t normally try.
17. Read an adventure novel or thriller. Enjoy your excitement vicariously through
a juicy, good book.
18. Go to a comedy club or mystery dinner theater. Have an exciting evening of

laughs or thrills to shake up your routine weekend.
19. Write down your life vision. Spend some time thinking about your ideal life
filled fun, excitement and adventure. Write down your vision and the actions you
could take to get yourself there.
20. Adopt a pet. This is excitement plus responsibility, so be sure you are ready for
both. A pet (especially a puppy) will be great company and provide fun
opportunities to meet other pet people.
21. Go to a rock concert. Get tickets to your favorite band and take your favorite
person to listen to some body-moving music.
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22. Go skinny dipping. Night time is best if you don’t want the excitement of an
arrest. Find a pool or a hot tub, strip down, and bring a loved one. Add a bottle of
champagne for even more excitement.
23. Try a random act of kindness. Do something unexpectedly nice for a friend or a
complete stranger. Pay for someone’s coffee. Send balloons. Leave a love note.
24. Be curious about people. Ask people (old and new friends) questions about
their lives. Learn what other people do and what makes them tick. You might
discover something intriguing about them and yourself.
25. Don’t wait. Don’t wait to try something, to initiate, to take action. Stop playing
it safe or looking for someone else to take the lead. Be a creative creator of your
life. You can make it as exciting and thrilling as you wish.
26. Do that one big thing. Is there one big action you’ve been holding back on that
could turn your life from boring to amazing? Maybe it’s a job change, a move, a
proposal, a change of scenery, a new relationship in your life. Whatever it is, take
the first step. Action creates momentum, and momentum builds excitement.
For the most part, an exciting life doesn’t happen to you.
(And when it does, it may not be the kind of excitement you want!) You need to
find ways to jazz up your life in small ways by shifting your perspective — and
changing some of your daily actions.
Small and fresh change can enliven you and create a new and exciting outlook on
life.
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CHAPTER-13
We must have kill-dil life to make it meaningful
Does Your Life Even Matter?

Go to work. Come home. Eat Dinner. Go to sleep. Wake up.
Rinse, recycle, repeat.
Do you ever wonder…
Does my life even matter?
There is magic and fear behind this question.
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Deep down inside – you know that you matter! You know your life has meaning!
You know you have a purpose!
But if your life matters, has meaning, and purpose… You’re forced to ask yourself:
Why am I living each day stuck on repeat?

Choose to Live a Meaningful Life Today
You have to be intentional about the life you want to live. It’s just too easy to fall
into the “rinse, repeat, recycle” pattern.
Therefore the first step to living a meaningful life is to choose to live a meaningful
life.
Once you have made this choice, then you have to take action.
Below I have listed 10 specific actions you can do today that will start to bring
meaning to your life. Don’t try to do all 10 at once. Adopt one item from the list,
and then slowly add others as time goes on. The journey of a 1000 miles starts with
one step.
10 Ways to Start Living a Meaningful Life… Today

1. Focus on Being a Better Person
What type of human being do you want to be? A trustworthy friend? A loving
partner? filled with gratitude?
The key is to step back and to ask these two questions:
1) What type of character do I want to have?

2) If I was that person, how would I act?
Then immediately start acting in a manner consistent with your answer.
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We are what we do. Therefore, if you begin to act in a specific manner and
continue to act like in that, then you are that person.
2. Commit This Moment

I mentioned this earlier but it bears repeating. Find somewhere quiet to sit. Take a
few full breaths in and out. Become present in the moment.
Then with conviction start having an intense dialogue with yourself. In this
dialogue you are going to explain that “This moment is it! This is the moment
when O commit to living a meaningful life!” Then explain why you are going to
commit.
Tony Robbins calls these “incantations”. They are not affirmations. Incantations
are not statements that are merely said. They are words driven by deep emotions
and passion. They are a commitment to the most important person in this world:
yourself
3. Donate Your Time

One of the greatest way’s to bring meaning to your life is to help others in need.
You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, help a friend move, read books to
children at the library, the list goes on and on.
When you give your time to make the world a better place it brings immense
meaning to your life. Imagine being part of the reason the world is improving!
Now, that’s cool.
4. Listen When People Talk To You

Very few people actually listen during a conversation. We are social creatures. We
all want to be heard. By showing how much you value others, you will bring
greater meaning to your own life.
5. Make Today “Book Worthy”
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Have you ever read a book and thought to yourself “Wow! That was awesome!”
Well, what if you could make today worthy of a chapter in a book.
Think about this question:
What would make today worthy of a Chapter in “The story of my life”?
Answer that question than take action on the most viable thing you can do.
6. Do The Simple Things That Make You Smile

What makes you laugh? What makes you smile? What fills your soul with joy?
Maybe you like to watch sesame street, listen to cheesy music, watch old episodes
of Seinfeld. What it is, doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it truly brings joy to
your life.
7. Write out a “Future Gratitude List”

This works best if you do it in the morning. Sit down with a pen and paper. Then
write down everything you are thankful for that is going to happen today.
The key is to write down everything you want to happen. For example “Have a
wonderful lunch with a friend”.
Write down 5 things (the more the better). Then fold up the list and put it in your
pocket. Carry it with you throughout the day. Then be intentional about making it
happen.
Essentially this is a fun way of planning out your day.
8. Write Out Your “Life Dream List” and Take The First Step
This is awesome! Take out a piece of paper, pen, and stopwatch. Set the timer for
15 minutes.
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Then start writing down everything you want to achieve in your life. Have fun with
it, nothing is too big!
Then at the end of 15 minutes, look at the list and ask this question.
1) Which achievement (from the list) would have the single greatest impact on my
life right now?
Then follow that with this question
2) What is the very first step I can take today to move in that direction?
Then immediately take the first step.
9. Tell Those You Love… That You Love Them

The danger is that It’s easy to get caught in the trap of assuming “they already
know I love them”. But in reality, they might not know.
Write down a list of the people that you genuinely love. Then identify which of
them you have not told lately “I love you”. Then go say it! It might be a little bit
weird at first, but it will also be very powerful.
10. Ask this Question and adjust based on your answer

What would the world be like if everyone was like me?
Take a look at that question. Answer it openly and honestly. Then start making the
necessary corrections this very moment.
Hint: If you said “The world would be great!” Then humility and the ability to be
honest with yourself are skills you should work on.
Choose 1 Thing
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This list can ignite the first step towards a life of meaning and purpose… Or it can
do nothing for you. That’s on you.
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CHAPTER-14
Are yor crazy…If not then U must be
As awesomely different as hyper-successful people are, they have one super-thick,
unbreakably strong, common thread holding them together as a united force of
nature: They’re all bat sh*t f*cking crazy.
I can hear your thoughts penetrating through the static screen of the computer.
You’re teeming with irritation, rolling your eyes oh-so deeply, once again finding
yourself offended that yet ANOTHER girl is tossing around the term “crazy” with
the frivolity of yesterday’s dirty laundry.
Not so fast, PC Police, because I happen to love the term “crazy” and am going to
use it with a fabulous, reckless abandon through the duration of this article.
Craziness is synonymous with success, so I decided to reclaim it a long time ago.
If the ignorant masses of society are going to deem all those who unabashedly
think for themselves, break free from the fashion norm and are madly burning with
the blazing fire of inextinguishable ambition as CRAZY entities, well then f*ck it
and f*ck them.
Let’s snatch the term out of their boring, basic fingers and re-empower “crazy.”
Look at the great expanse of human history — haven’t all the game changers of
love, life and business all been labeled crazy at one point or another in their lives?
Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath, Steve Jobs, Angelina Jolie, Oscar Wilde, Sophia
Amoruso, Lena Dunham, James Franco, Laverne Cox, Salvador Dali, Andy
Warhol and Karl Lagerfeld are all gloriously out of the box.
Whether it’s love, career, art, relationships, activism or poetry — all of these
notoriously “crazy” megastars have been massively groundbreaking and
undeniably successful.
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I’ll take it.
After all, “madness” is the ultimate breeding ground for creativity, and creativity
is the driving force behind fresh, exciting ideas.
And aren’t those “irrational” souls with stars in their eyes the ones who wind up
finding true love?
The true love everyone so dreams of attaining but never finds because he or she
is blindfolded by cynicism and normalcy?
Aren’t the fantastic, colorful “weirdos” who speak their magnificently outspoken
minds with marvelous candor of the universe the ones who become the
international icons of the world?
Here is why:
1. Crazy people don’t give a f*ck what other people think

Crazy people are privy to the ultimate secret life has to offer: Once you let go of
caring about what others think, you’re free to do what you truly want to do.
When you’re not shackled to the handcuffs of societal “appropriateness,” you will
do what you please without fearing disappointing the masses.
This gives you the courage to fearlessly embark on new business

projects and recklessly dive into the arms of the love of your life, regardless of his
or her gender, sexuality or what your friends and family think.
2. Crazy people think outside the confines of a box

Most people reserve their thoughts into that of a tiny, minuscule, little box. A box is
a square made up of four restrictive lines.
Crazy people attain the capacity to think beyond the confines of a box and instead
find razor sharp edges and soft curves in everything.
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3. Crazy people don’t know or care what the rules are, let alone feel the need to
abide by them
“Rules” were created by the imagination-less populous as a way to control
brilliant, creative minds.
People who are free of independent thought vehemently fear creative creatures —
it’s the very reason books are burned and art is banned.
How can you have a thriving, authentic love life if you’re following “rules” of the
relationship timeline and protocol, and it’s not working for you or your partner?
How can you be a good friend if you’re judging?
How can you be a groundbreaking entrepreneur if you’re perpetually following

orders and afraid to think beyond what’s already been done?
4. You say, “no,” and a crazy person hears “I Dare You.”

I dare you to tell a crazy person “NO.” Say, “NO,” to a crazy, and he or she will
simply take it as a challenge to prove your sorry ass wrong.
Isn’t it the undying relentlessness, the refusal to be shot down, the inability to settle
and the downright confidence to keep trucking along after you’ve fallen rejected
exactly what it takes to be successful in anything at all?
5. Crazy people are crazy enough to believe in themselves

It’s an insanely competitive world. The world is teeming with pools of
incomprehensible talent.
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When we realize how huge this world is and how many masses of people are
fighting for the same job, the same person, the same dream home — it’s enough to
make us want to throw up our hands and give up.
Yet there are only few who “make it”– whose dreams come to fruition.
It’s not because they’re more talented or brilliant; it’s because they’re the only
ones crazy enough to believe they are, indeed, powerful and special enough to
break through and be seen.
6. Crazy people aren’t shackled by the fear of failure

The pressing fear of failure is what holds us back from ever taking a glorious risk.
We can’t imagine it’s ever going to be possible to recover after a cracked heart or
the cold stone fist of rejection, so we choose to protect ourselves from love instead.
Crazy people aren’t afraid to fall. Crazy people aren’t afraid to taste the concrete.
They aren’t perfectionists; they understand there is nothing in the world that can’t
be healed.
They recklessly dive in, while the rest of us hide beneath the comfort of our 1,000-
thread-count sheets, protecting ourselves from feeling the bad — but also from
feeling the otherworldly good.
7. Crazy people don’t ask for permission

Crazy people never ask for permission; they live by the saying, “I would rather beg
for forgiveness than ask for permission.”
They go for it. Maybe they’ll end up in jail. Maybe they’ll end up with an Oscar.
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Maybe they’ll up married on a beach in Fiji, or maybe they’ll end up starting a

highly successful customized headband company — who the f*ck knows?
Either way, the fear of getting into “trouble” doesn’t stop a crazy from embarking
on a revolution.
8. Crazy people are glittering entities with heaps of star power

When I was a little girl, I used to get lost in wonder at what exactly it was that
made actors “movie stars.”
What did these mega famous entities attain — besides talent and good
management — that made society so deeply infatuated with them?
As I got older, I realized star power lies in individuality. Their success is a direct
result of the fact that they don’t blend in. They’re something different, something
we haven’t seen or can’t explain.
9. Crazy people are rich with wild integrity

Every leader of every social revolution was called “crazy.” Crazy people are
unable to ignore the truth and be silenced in the face of adversity.
10. Crazy people are driven by passion, not money

When money is the ultimate goal, there is only so far a person can go.
You may achieve financial success, but you will burn out. It’s not enough to sustain
you.
When you’re passionate, nothing can snuff out your fire, and inevitably, that will
lead you to longer, more powerful success.
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11. Crazy people are crazy enough to trust themselves

Crazy people are keyed into their sixth sense, the inner voice, the gut, the heart, the
instinct. We all have it, but most of us don’t trust it.
This is where we go direly wrong. This is when we end up f*cked over and in
trouble.
Crazy people trust their gut and don’t intellectualize themselves out of it.
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CHAPTER-15
Things You Must Do Before You Turn 30
Worrying about life is a lot like coleslaw: It sucks, it’s an ugly mound of crap that
somehow shows up on all of our plates, people who swear by it still know deep
down that it sucks, and most of us give into tasting it at some point despite the
putrid smell wafting over from zombies nearby.
I’m 22. I worry about life — decisions, happiness, legacy, etc. — a lot more than I
used to. And you know what? I’m tired of it. I know there are many people who are
almost 22/are 22/were 22 who are tired of it too. It’s time we had much, much
more fun.
So I’m sitting here, writing this list to myself … of great stuff to pile on my plate to
drown out the coleslaw. Of things to get done before I’m doughy, “Daddy,” and
dead. And I’m having the time of my life.
Consider the below an aggressive bucket list for your average “young-ass old
person.” It’s a salute to enjoying and exploring your most formative adult years —
it is wide-ranging, experimental, and chaotic, yet thoughtful, passionate, and
precautionary, as these upcoming years will hopefully be. Enjoy, in somewhat
random order, 20-something things to do while you’re 20-something:
1. Be very alone for at least 3 months.
New place, new environment, new situation, no close friends. Live alone, hang out
alone often. Have regular contact with friends, but go somewhere so that your day-
to-day is spent mostly away from those that you grew up with, went to school with,
etc. You are around close friends most of your life through your 20s … What are
you like outside of that, left to your own devices?
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2. Do something sexually taboo.Not because I condone any specific taboo sex acts
in particular, and not because I follow any kinky sex movements. I’m just saying, if
you don’t think your future spouse or partner would be down, probably best to do
it now. Your spouse will probably accept "... but I was in my 20s!" a lot easier than
any following decades. (If that's not the case, you'll have a REALLY fun
retirement.)
3. Swim with great whites.Sharks, not Bieber or Gosling or whoever. You can be in
the cage. But look deep into the eyes of a nonhuman who wants to rip you apart
and kill and eat you. Good perspective to have. It'll also help you if you want to go
into politics.
4. Try your dream job.
Or as close as you can get to it. Do that job that you'd do if you were a Mega
Millionaire. Do it on the side, do it once per week, but do it. If it doesn’t affect
your happiness, it probably isn’t your dream.
5. Take a standalone interest class.
Learn a language, a technical skill, a creative outlet, a new type of exercise ... find
one that's affordable, take it on winter Mondays, whatever. Great way to give you
non-monetary goals to achieve, and a new reason to get up in the A.M. when the
mundane is starting to drive you insane.
6. Grow some plants.
Learn how to take care of stuff before you have kids. Nurture them, watch them
grow up to be beautiful, and protect them from pests — like young hooligans with
no manners covered in tattoos — woops, I meant weeds and fawns and bugs and
what not.
7. Jump out of a plane or jump off a bridge
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If not literally, figuratively. Face your worst fears. Tell 1 person you've always had
a crush on (and who you know is out of your league) that they oughta give you a
crack at ‘em. Demand a raise. Something like that.
8. Plan at least the outline of your retirement.
Or at least, plan to plan it. I'm all for having fun right now, but one month of
partying could one day be a minivan — 100% electric — for your grandkids to pee
in and your robot to vacuum up.
9. Re-read books from your high school reading list.
We probably couldn’t grasp their profundity back then, and we probably wish we
had time to read them now. Lots of them are about life discoveries and phenomena
we’re currently experiencing. I just re-read Brave New World, and some James
Baldwin books … and yeah, I missed a lot last time.
10. Be a mentor.
To younger people. In whatever capacity you can, educate on what you already
know this early in life. You may think you know nothing, but to a younger person,
whether or not they want to hear it, it’s probably gold.
11. Get some mentors.
Ones that you aspire to be like in the future. Who you want to be. Then, get some
who you don’t want to be. Figure out what they did right, or what they messed up.
Take them to dinner. Then, go to the bathroom right when the bill is coming.
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12. Date somebody 10+ years older than you.
Maybe your mentor. Won’t get boring.
13. Get in crazy crazy nasty shape.
Older you get, harder to do. Hard to do when you travel for work, hard to do with
a kid, hard to do when your high school graduation photos look like someone else.
So why not see what potential you have now? Eat some plants, lift some stuff, run
somewhere, get on a machine to nowhere, whatever. Define "crazy crazy nasty,"
an ambitious goal that's attainable for you. It’s a goal you can see and feel, and
lessons from it often translate well to career or other goals. Oh, and try boxing.
14. Make a product and sell it from scratch.
Take an idea and turn it into a product. Make little dolls in your free time,
like Lester Freamon from The Wire. He seemed happy and fulfilled (though in that
wise, peaceful, defeatist kind of way), right? But anyway, the product can be
tangible or intangible, professional or sloppy ... just know that you made it, and
try to sell it.
15. Own a motorcycle.
Not gonna tell you to ride one.
16. Go to most continents (kangaroos and igloos optional).
Figure out how to get to some, and get there. And get out of the 1st world safety
net. Yes, long enough to have people write on your wall confirming that they “miss
youuuuuu!” and long enough to add it to your resume ... but then spend some more
time. Time actually learning and adapting. Measure in months, minimum.
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17. Fall in love > 0 times.
Not necessarily productive in every case, but YOLO. I hate roller coasters with a
passion ... and I go on roller coasters every time I'm near one. Know what I mean?
18. Put out a song.
Make a song, album, or music video, alone or with your friends. Music holds
within it a legitimacy and creative right that other mediums don’t have to the same
extent. People can present themselves in nonsensical ways in music pieces, and
they can be as abstract or as classic as they’d like. Seeing how you’d present
yourself as a musician can be telling.
19. Visit one of the world’s tallest mountain ranges.
Any view from that high up, when it’s that quiet and peaceful, is at once surreal
and serene.
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CHAPTER-16
Make Your Life An Adventure
I have to tell you – it’s been extraordinary. It’s an absolutely amazing, brilliant,
beautiful world out there filled with dazzling wonders that are readily available for
you to experience. You don’t have to be rich. You don’t have to be exceptional. If
you want to experience it all, you just have to make a decision, set some goals, and
make it happen.
Here’s how:
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Step 1: Discover Your Vista’s of Adventure
First get a clear vision of what the word ‘adventure’ means to you. Take 30
minutes, put on some inspiring music, get excited and write down everything that
comes to mind when you think about an adventure. What movies inspire you?
Indiana Jones? James Bond? The Bourne Series? What types of adventures
appeal to you? Adventurous sports? Travel? The great outdoors? What specific
activities sound like a heart-pounding blast? Bungee jumping? Exploring ancient
ruins? Heli-skiing (skiing areas you can only get to by helicopter)?
Step 2: Choose 5 Specific Adventure Goals
Life is short! Now is the time to get real. Now is the moment to make a
commitment to experience the life adventures you want to experience before you
die. Choose 5 adventure goals from your brainstorm that you’re most excited
about. Pick one that you will do within 3 months, one that you will do by the end
of the year, one within 2 years, one within 3 years and one within 5 years. The
first 3-month goal should be exciting, but reasonable, so it’s actually possible to
achieve in a short time frame. This one is very important because it will help you
build momentum and faith in yourself.
Also, be firm and DECIDE that you WILL give yourself the gift of an adventurous
life. Spend an additional 5 minutes writing out why this is important to you, and
then write a formal commitment to yourself and hang it where you’ll see it every
day.
Step 3: Learn How to Take the First Step
Now take your first 3-month goal and figure out what you need to do to make it a
reality. One of the most common reasons people don’t make their life more
exciting and adventurous is that they don’t know how to start. But that’s okay –
you can learn. Search the Internet, the library, or talk to people who’ve done what
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you’re planning to do. Ask questions. Make calls. Figure out what steps you need
to take. There are companies that arrange everything from local rock-climbing
and white-water rafting trips to round-the-world, multi-month adventures.
Step 4: Create a Plan for Your First Adventure
Once you understand the initial steps that are required to embark on your first
adventure goal, create a clear plan. Make a detailed list of what actions you need
to take and set a date for completing each action so that you’ll be off experiencing
this first adventure in exactly 3 months from today.
Step 5: Jump into Action Immediately
If you’re like most people, you’ve probably just read the previous 4 steps without
actually doing anything. And guess what? You’re in danger of finishing this
article without ever taking action. Here’s how to make sure that doesn’t happen:
 Take action immediately! Yes, right now! Start brainstorming your adventure
goals.
 Pick your top 5 goals. And then do one more step…
 Figure out what the logical first step is towards your first adventure goal.
Additional Tips on Living an Adventurous Life
1. Overcoming your fears is half the fun of adventuring. The adrenalin rush can
be exhilarating! And when it passes, and you realize you’re still standing, you
feel a great sense of accomplishment. Remember most fears are not real.
Fear could stand for: “False Experiences Appearing Real.” Fear is also a
great way to get people’s attention and motivate them to do things; so the
media, politicians, companies and many other organizations spend a lot of
time and money trying to make the world seem like a scary place. It’s not.
Even for people living adventurous lives, disaster rarely strikes. That’s why
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when it does strike it makes the evening news… because it’s rare. Ultimately
the secret to fear is: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
2. Whenever you have a choice of activities to do, pick the one that will make for
a better story.
3. Don’t have the time? Instead of going to see an action movie, take action in
your own life. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, sit on a ski lift. Instead of
sleeping in your bed, sleep on a bus on the way to the Grand Canyon. Instead
of going out to the park, go out rock climbing. Instead of vacationing at
Disneyland, vacation in Thailand.
4. Don’t have the money? International travel is much cheaper than it seems.
Just give up a few luxuries and don’t try to keep living exactly the same way
you do at home. You will keep costs down and have a much more profound
experience if you eat what the locals eat, sleep like the locals sleep and travel
like the locals travel. Visit countries that are more affordable than your home
country. As for adventure sports, most of them are filled with specialized,
expensive gear that you don’t need. You need SOME to be safe, but don’t be
fooled into a thousand dollar shopping spree for a weekend camping trip.
Rent, borrow or go without. Yes you can!
5. For additional advice on doing the impossible, I recommend reading (or
rereading) Marc and Angel’s excellent post “How to Walk on Water.”
6. And one last tip from someone who’s been there: As your life unfolds with new
excitement, experiences and adventure, you must, must, must keep a journal of
your experiences. Also, take thousands of pictures and lock those precious
moments into your memory forever. Someday, when you’re sitting with your
children or grandchildren, you’ll be so happy you did.
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CHAPTER-17
Aimbition????????????????????????????????????
"Ambition is the generator that powers motivation and instigates the will to
achieve"
-Audrey Marlene
Ambition is a burning desire to accomplish a goal or a dream - a desire to lose

weight, gain financial freedom, earn a job promotion, or get a better education.
You can have ambition not only for yourself but for the people you love, for your
children, your family. Your ambition for them drives you to assist them to excel.
When you are ambitious, you have a vision. You envision your life a certain way.
You dream of your future and hope to aspire to your dreams. You sense the
urgency to take action. You feel a void within that nudges you to elevate yourself to
a higher level of existence.
Your ambition won't allow you to become complacent or settle for less. Even when
adversities arise, the ambitious person is resilient and will eventually rekindle that
ambitious flame. You yearn to climb the ladder of success or achieve the vision you
have for yourself. When you are ambitious, you are constantly in search of
opportunities to take you to that next level. You feel a restlessness to investigate,
inquire. Your thirst for learning and knowledge intensifies.
Is Ambition Inherited or a Learned Behavior?
There has been tremendous research about the nature versus nurture issue of
personality traits. There are studies that support the strong genetic influence on
personality traits such as ambition. However, environment can play a significant
role in one's level of ambitiousness as well. In my opinion, I believe one's degree of
ambition is a combination of both genetics and environment.
There may be situations where one inherits their fair share of the ambitious gene
(if there is such a gene) but circumstances can arise in their lives that can suppress
their ambitions. Or there may be someone that didn't inherit that ambitious gene
but because they was raised in or exposed to a goal-oriented environment, their
level of ambition was encouraged to flourish.
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If you happen to inherit your parents' level of ambition be thankful and enhance it
to the best of your ability. For those who can feel that ambitious spark burning
within but someone or something stifles it, find out how you can remove yourself
from those kinds of situations. If you recognize that it is indeed your level of
ambition that needs to be addressed, find ways to improve it. Remember, your
success in life is determined by how ambitious you are.
Factors Influencing Ambitions
Here are some factors you need to be aware of that can negatively influence your
level of ambition:
Stress- Stress comes in many different forms. Physical or psychological stress can
paralyze you, robbing you of your ambitions. If you think stress is stifling your
ambitions, find ways to learn how to cope with stress.
Illness- Illness in any form physical or mental, can influence your ability to
function to your optimal potential. For this reason, it essential that you pay special
attention to your health. If some form of illness is getting in the way of your
ambitions, seek out the help you need to triumph over it.
Emotional Trauma- Emotional trauma psychologically affects the human spirit. It

inhibits the ability to recognize any talent or ambitions you may have. This is an
area you must attend to if you seek to rise to your level of ambition. Click here to
analyze your emotional health. If you recognize that your emotions are hindering
your ambitions, it may be time to address and resolve the issues standing in your
way.
Friends and Associations- Without realizing it, the company you keep can greatly
influence your ambitions. Think about it. If you hang around unmotivated,
lackadaisical people, after a while you can begin to adapt and adopt their
behaviors. If you associate with motivated, goal seeking, action-oriented
individuals, your ambition is more likely to become stimulated.Do an analysis of
the company you keep. Are their behaviors rubbing off on you or vice versa?
Drugs and Alcohol- It's no secret what drugs and alcohol can do to your life. Even
though you have been bestowed with a great, genetic, ambitious character, drugs
and alcohol can undermine it. You must learn to discard excessive, destructive
behaviors that can diminish your level of ambition. If you feel drugs and alcohol
are stifling your ambitions, get the help you need immediately.
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Guidance- A lack of or the wrong guidance can interfere with your ambitions. If
you follow the wrong advice you may fail at the task you undertake. This can
demotivate you, minimizing your confidence and your level of ambition. Learn to
do the research for yourself. There is so much information available to us
nowadays. Always get an objective second opinion before pursuing anything.
How to Improve Ambition
A Life Coach- A life coach can help you organize your life and clear all the
cobwebs so you can begin to peel away the layers that bury your ambition.
Remember your success begins with the your level level of ambition.
Your Associations- Analyze the people you associate with. If these people are not
helping to elevate you to a higher level of ambition, think about finding new people
to associate with. Start hanging around people who are optimistic about their
future, who are goal oriented and make a positive contribution to your life. Avoid
people who inject negative poisons into your psyche.
Read Books- Read inspirational books of triumph, about the indomitable human
spirit we carry within us. Also, read books and material about people who have
achieved success. Allow this information to awaken your ambitions.
Attend Seminars- Attend seminars on motivation. These seminars have the

tendency to rekindle the sparks of ambition that reside within you. At these
seminars and workshops you also have opportunities to meet ambitious people and
bathe in the positive synergy.
Selectively Share your Ambitions- There may be times in your life when your
ambitions begin to awaken and you feel motivated to do something with your life.
When you feel your ambitions in action, be selective with whom to share these
ideas to. Share them with people who will support you or give you the constructive
feedback you need to follow through with your ambitious plans. For example,
uncle Ted a real pessimist hears of your plans and immediately begins to pour cold
water on your ambitious spirit. He has never really aspired to any greatness in his
life but he very often seems to have so much to add to your creative ideas. In
addition, your coworkers who are already jealous of you for whatever reason, may
want to sabotage you by minimizing any creative ideas your ambitions have
instigated you to generate.
Ambition drives motivation, determination, and all the ingredients to achieve

success in your life. Take this opportunity to analyze your level of ambition. If you
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truly want to achieve success in your life, you must realize that it is your ambition
that creates the yearning. Your level of ambition prevents you from settling for
mediocrity. Your level of ambition will determine who you or your children will
become.
Analyze Your Ambitions!
you aspire to for you and your children? You have read what it means
to have ambition. You've seen ways to strengthen your ambitions. Now it's your
turn to define your ambitions.
Ambition drives motivation, determination, and all the ingredients to achieve

success in your life. use this information to analyze your level of ambition. If you
truly want to achieve success in your life, you must realize
that it is your ambitions that creates the yearning. Your
level of ambition prevents you from settling for mediocrity.
Your level of ambition will determine who you or your
children will become.
You can achieve when you allow your ambitions to move

you to act.
Quotes on Ambition by My inspirations…..
succeed"-Audrey Marlene
-Marcus Aurelius
fulfilling it. The step may only be a tiny one, but trust that it may be the largest one
possible for now." - Mildred McAfee
t the moon, it's ok. But you've got to shoot for
something. A lot of people don't even shoot." – Robert Townsend
perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principles which direct
them." – Napoleon Bonaparte
-
William Shakespeare
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- Bill
Bradley
tion is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A
man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive."
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CHAPTER-18
Self-Confidence everywhere
The key to being able to accomplish our goals in life is having unshakable self-
confidence and a belief in ourselves. Without confidence, we would never have the
courage to apply for jobs, go to college, or even commit to a serious relationship.
We may find ourselves holding back on pursuing our dreams, sabotaging our own
efforts, or even refusing to try at all.
Building up our self-confidence doesn't have to be a daunting task; it can actually

be quite fun. It may take time and practice before we see big results, but if we keep
at it, we will eventually notice positive changes.
Try these suggested techniques to jump start your own self-confidence, and be on
your way to creating success for yourself.
Use creative visualization – Rest your mind and imagine a situation where you are
confident and successful. Go over the details thoroughly in your mind. What did
you do? What did you say? You can also try to remember a time in the past when
you acted with a lack of confidence. Go over the situation in your mind, changing
whatever details you would need to alter the outcome to a desired one. Visualize
yourself strengthening your self-confidence and acting the way you wish you would
have acted. Don't judge yourself - simply re-create the situation and envision
yourself with strong self-confidence, and having the outcome be better.
Practice affirmations – Believing you have what it takes to be successful in life

means embedding it so far in your subconscious mind that you can no longer deny
it. One way to accomplish this is to practice affirmations that make you feel
empowered and strong. Write down statements such as "I can do anything I set my
mind to," and "Nothing can hold me back." Say these nightly before bed, and any
time during the day when you feel fearful or hesitant, and they will stick in your
subconscious, which will ultimately remind you of these truths when you need them
the most.
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Act "as if" – This is similar to creative visualization, but a little more specific.
Pretend you are already what you want to become. Do you want to lose ten pounds
and fit into your old jeans? Picture yourself ten pounds lighter, and actually take
the time to imagine what it is like to slip those jeans on. Take in all the senses of
being ten pounds lighter. On a side note: Did you know that basketball players
who visualize the ball going into the net prior to throwing it are far more likely to
actually make the throw than those who don’t? It’s true.
Graciously accept praise – When people offer you praise for a job well-done,
accept politely and don’t add any negative comments. For instance, if a friend
compliments your new hairstyle, say "Thank you," not "Thanks, but I think it looks
funny." People almost always mean what they say, especially if they say it
unprovoked. Don’t second guess their praises of you. If you graciously accept, the
result is that you will appreciate yourself just as much as others appreciate you.
Finally, allow yourself to believe you have the ability to accomplish anything, and
you will be rewarded with feelings of confidence and courage. Remember that your
thoughts have tremendous power! If you believe yourself to be confident and
strong, guess what? You will be.
Loving yourself is the key to believing that you can do anything, so frequently pat
yourself on the back to affirm what you knew was true all along: you can do it!
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CHAPTER-19
U MUST HAVE HEALTHY SEXXXXXXX LIFE
Make Dates
couples that have been together for a while need to plan time for sex.
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"Make a date for sex," says Castleman, a health journalist who previously
answered questions about sexuality submitted to thePlayboy advisor. "Don't let it
be an afterthought, "Do whatever you like to do beforehand, go to a movie or
dinner, take a walk, have a glass of wine by candlelight, whatever the couple likes
to do as a couple. But set aside that time."
But, you might cry, isn't scheduling unromantic? Isn't sex supposed to be
spontaneous? Rare is the lover with a daily planner fetish, after all.
"Grow up," he says. "What's the problem with making a date for sex? People
make plans for other things they enjoy, like ski trips or dinners out."
"I think most people, especially couples with kids, have to plan ahead because
they already have so much jammed into their schedules, "Sure there are times
when things spontaneously fall together, but those are happy accidents."
Get Out of the House
One good suggestion for a better love life is to take regular nights away
Most of us can remember the hot -- and frequent -- spicy moments when
the romance was new with our partner. But eventually the fire of a good love life
may die down. Over time, the sexy nightie languishes hidden in the sock drawer,
the massage oil gathers dust next to theathlete's foot powder in the medicine
cabinet, and you and your partner have what feels like a humdrum sexual life.
So what is the secret to a better love life that lasts? We asked for some suggestions
from two experts on sexuality
CHAPTER-20
Connection of strength and weakness of teamwork
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Team Strengths and Weaknesses
 Strengths
o Connection: Our group was extremely good at keeping in contact
with each other. Any thought, idea, or question was emailed to our
entire group via an email thread we set up in Gmail.
o Innovation: Our group was able to quickly come up with innovative
ideas for all projects.
o Dedication: Dedication was a big part of our group. Once a project
was started, there would be a team member working on that project
almost all day every day.
o Skill Set: Each group member had a different set of skills which
allowed for us to work on multiple aspects of the project at the same
time allowing for a high efficiency of getting work done.
 Weaknesses
o Personality Conflict: Different personality types occasionally led to
disagreements. However, we never let these disagreements get out of
hand.
o Organization: Even though all ideas and thoughts were shared, it
sometimes became confusing which idea we were acting upon.
So it all happened with your niks….have u all experienced it
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CHAPTER-21
The Power of Initiative
Think of something you want to achieve that is really important to you? (Don’t
continue without selecting one of your top goals.)
Now imagine having achieved it? You’re basking in the satisfaction of a job well
done. What does it look like? What does it smell like? What does it taste like?
What does it feel like? How do you feel?
The ONLY way in which you will experience the joy, beauty, and fulfillment that
will come by achieving this goal is if you use your personal initiative. It won’t
happen without it.
What is Personal Initiative?
a newspaper columnist, defines it this way: “Initiative is a force of personal energy
that arises from deep within and flows forth into positive, goal-oriented action.”
Your personal initiative is your inner power that starts all action. It is the enemy of
procrastination. It’s the spark that initiates your productive actions. Without
personal initiative, you cannot be successful.
How Does One Achieve Success?
“Success is something you must achieve without someone telling you what to do
or why you should do it.”
Success comes to those who are proactive. Instead of drifting through life doing
only what is required, successful people do the extra things that bring more
meaning to life.
No one pushed me every day to do the things that were required of me to achieve
my goals; it was the consistent use of my personal initiative that allowed me to
achieve them.
No matter what your goal is—becoming a remarkable mom, an honor student, an
outstanding athlete, a top-producing sales person, or the owner of your own
business—if you are going to be successful you must use your personal initiative to
do the little things required of you to succeed. Sorry, but it won’t happen any
other way.
Why Do Little Things Matter?
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Personal initiative is more than a fundamental requirement to achieving your

goals, it’s also about doing the little things that make your life and the lives of
others, both at work and at home, more enjoyable.
It’s doing the simple things like picking up your dirty clothes, cleaning the dirty
windows or emptying the overflowing trash can. It’s taking three minutes to clean
the coffee mugs in the sink at the office. It’s taking time to express your genuine
gratitude to someone who did something for you. It’s offering to help a friend in
need.
In a sense, your personal initiative is noticing and being aware of the things that
need to be done without being asked.
One of my fundamental beliefs is that the only way you will have personal initiative
to do big things is by first using it to do the little things. Every big success is made
up a great number of little successes, each of which requires personal initiative
and many of which are so small and insignificant that only you notice, but they all
add up.
What Are the Hidden Benefits?
Using one’s personal initiative has more benefits than meet the eye.
1. People who use their personal initiative are more respected and have greater
influence.
2. No other method for building one’s self esteem is more effective than using your
personal initiative to do the little things that make you a better person.
3. People who consistently use their personal initiative to advance their careers
are those who are at the top of the pay scale in their profession.
4. You will have the edge at everything you do because you will stand out as a
person worthy of being noticed.
Why Wait to Use Your Personal Initiative?
I not sure of the reason, but I see fewer people using their personal initiative to
advance their lives forward than at any time in my life. It’s like everyone is sitting
in a holding pattern waiting for something to change.
This is your opportunity to step up your game and distinguish yourself from the
growing number of apathetic people. This is your chance to use your unique talent,
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skill, and ability to achieve the things that are important to you.
Don’t let the lethargic environment around you keep you from
stretching yourself to be your very best.
I want to challenge you to start doing the little things that require personal
initiative. As you build your confidence in doing the little things, then start
stretching yourself to do the bigger things. Continue this process and allow each
success to build on the prior one.
“There comes a time when you need to stop revving up the car and put it in
gear.” Now is the time to put your life in gear and go conquer your dreams.
“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be
waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
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CHAPTER-22
Burning Desire
Whether it be getting out of debt, running a marathon, taking a much needed

holiday or simply getting in shape, we all have goals. Yet whilst we do have them,
and we would love to achieve them, life or other priorities sometimes get in the
way.
Whatever the reason for this may be, it’s no secret that goals can be difficult to
work towards and at times we need a little motivation to keep going. In this post I
want to share exactly how you can build a burning desire towards your goals
which will help spur you into action and get the results you’ve been waiting for.
Following are five steps that have helped me focus on and complete many of the
goals in my life, I see no reason why they can’t help you do the same …
1. Make Sure You Pick the Right Goal. This is usually obvious, but if you aren’t
focusing the following points on something you’re really passionate about then
they aren’t going to help. Just like I couldn’t make a keen basket baller get a
burning drive to compete in the knitting world championships, this is no different.
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To put it simply: if you’re focused on the wrong goal, you’ll never produce a
burning desire to achieve it. How do you know if you’re focused on the right goal?
Well, of course, there will be different answers for different people, but usually the
following test works quite well:
 If money didn’t exist would you still do it? (if your goal is a career / hobby)
 Are you working towards it already in your life?
 If I gave you $10m tomorrow would it still be in your plans?
The last question is a deal breaker because too often people have a desire for
money, rather than the act that gets them to a place of financial abundance. Money
won’t make you happy, but the process to get there just might. If you answered no
to any of those (that apply) then you may need to re-think your desires.
2. Know that You Can Do It. If you asked most people how much they would love
to complete their goals, they would tell you how amazing, fantastic and life
changing it would be. How they would love to be on the journey of their ‘purpose’
and achieve the things they want in life.
So why don’t most people do it? Simple; we don’t believe that we can, so we don’t
even try.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of
failure.”
I spent my time just watching others become successful while I jumped from one
failed project to the next. As soon as I changed my beliefs things really started to
turn around for me, and now I’m working from home full-time. As afriend recently
said to me, “Get out of your own way”.
You are the only one holding you back. You can complete your goals, every single
one of them. Yet, until you firmly believe this, it won’t sink in because knowing you
can complete something is one of the best catalysts for generating the
pure drive needed to be successful.
3. Keep Notes of Success by Others. It’s very likely that whatever you want to
achieve, someone has came along and done it before you. Who are they? How did
they do it? What helped them along the way? These are questions that you need to
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answer, as in the answers may lie some valuable help to aid you in your own
journey.
Not only will it help in getting to your destination, but seeing others do it is a great
way to know that you can do it as well. I want to make my living online so I follow
others who have been able to do the same; I see what works for them and see how I
can apply their tactics to my own journey.
This is something very easy to do and I’m sure you’ll find it to be highly effective.
4. Find Companions on the Same Journey. One of the most comforting things in
times of need is when you find other people with the same ‘problems’ or other
people on the same ‘mission’ as you are. And when you want to produce that extra
focus for achieving your goals, it’s no different.
When I got into internet marketing it was nice to find others on forums that were
just starting off and in the same position as me. When I wanted to become more
social and pushed myself to do just that (public speaking, going out more etc) then
I know my less social friends really appreciated knowing that I had once been in
their position.
Finding others on the same journey will help you have someone you can measure
up against and someone who will keep you encouraged to stay on track.
5. Make Use of your R.A.S.. Our RAS, which stands for Reticular Activating
System, and, without getting too technical, has a job to basically to ‘home in’ on
things that we should be focusing on. For example if you are reading a newspaper
in your living room and one of your children is playing quietly with their toys, it
probably won’t affect your attention.
On the other hand, if whilst reading your paper a brown grizzly-bear walked into
the room, your attention would be on it instantly and your body would start taking
necessary action to help you get out of the situation. Our R.A.S. focuses on things
of known importance and priority to us, so if you like you could also ‘train it’ to
become a goal-seeking mechanism of sorts.
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Every morning, for no more than 5 minutes I visualize what it would be like to
achieve my goals. I see myself being successful, having my preferred end result
and how it would feel. This keeps me focused on my goal and tells my body “This
is what is important to me, stay focused on it”.
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CHAPTER-23
Fall seven times, stand up eight
This is very normal in CA exams .I am telling you this because I am also doing CA.
CA students get failed many times in exams but they know the value of patience.
Failure isn’t really something I give much thought to when I come up with a new
idea and want to execute on it. I don’t let fear prevent me from trying something
new (more often, I fear doing something that everyone else is doing). I don’t worry
that I might make mistakes. Of course I will. Not only do I assume I’ll make
mistakes, I count on it. Without mistakes, I wouldn’t be prepared for the “real
stuff” when it comes along. Failure isn’t a consideration, though.
Have I failed? You bet. When I fail, I do so in a glorious blaze of disaster that
spreads far and wide. People shake their heads in disappointment that I did so
poorly. They chastise me for attempting something that was obviously futile-my
failure proof of that (never mind the tautology in that argument). I believe only my
parents and a few close friends accept my failures without much more than
a murmur (I believe they secretly think as everyone else did, that I was nuts).
I don’t let this bother me. As you have no doubt read, or at least heard, failure is a
pretty good learning tool. Those who fail perform better in future activities than
those who don’t. That’s why the “A” student in high school does so poorly in
college-they are not accustomed to failure and what it takes to avoid it. They are
surprised and caught off guard by the challenges of college. High school jocks
have the same problem; they are surprised that they are no longer hot shit and
popularity requires more than just being able to score-a personality is needed.
On average, the most successful business leaders in the US have failed at seven
previous businesses before actually being successful. That might sound bad, but
banks love it. They prefer to lend to business people who have failed a few times.
They are far more reluctant to lend to someone who hasn’t. This may all seem
counter-intuitive if it weren’t for the simple fact that people who fail go out of their
way to avoid failure again in the future. Who would you rather lend money to?
Someone that knows how to avoid failure or some dopey-eyed nitwit that is fresh
out of college with a shiny new MBA?
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Failure means experience. Experience comes from doing. How many times have
we heard, “It can’t be done.” and then someone goes out and does it? The person
who “did it” probably failed at it several times before finally getting it right.
People that fail don’t make excuses for their failure. Perhaps they hedge their
remarks a bit (“My timing was off.”), but they still admit it was they who
misjudged. They won’t make that mistake again. Therein lies the key: failure is
fine, just don’t repeat it. Learn your lessons. Don’t be afraid to take chances and
do something different. Even if you fail, you still gain valuable knowledge useful in
future endeavors. Failure isn’t something to worry about or fret over. Accept that
it may happen. Do what you can to prevent it, learn from it when you can’t.
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CHAPTER-24
Try to feel wonderful alwayssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Isn’t it sad how much time we spend putting ourselves down?
If we had a nickel for every time we felt inferior, stupid, unattractive, or

unworthy, most of us would be millionaires.
We land on this Earth full of exuberance and wonder. All we need is a little food,
a little comfort, and a clean bottom. But if we are deprived of those things, or if
later on we are told we don’t measure up in some way, we learn to feel “less
than.”
With enough negative reinforcement from others and ourselves, we become

trained to see only our flaws and failures. Everything else fades into the
background or has just a fleeting positive impact on our self-esteem.
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If we’ve become trained to feel bad about ourselves, is it possible to retrain

ourselves to feel good? Can we unlearn old beliefs and refocus our attention to
see our own beauty and worthiness?
Yes, yes, yes!
It is not only possible, it’s imperative for our mental and physical health. Our
well-being and happiness hinge on our ability to have positive self-esteem.
We desperately long for for an exit ramp out of the land of self-loathing.
Fortunately, our minds and hearts are malleable, and we can learn to love and
accept ourselves. It is exhausting to live up to illusory expectations and
disappointments. But with a combination of positive thought and positive action,
you can lead yourself out of the dark side and into the light.
As with any new skill or new habit, you must start small and practice regularly.
It may feel unnatural at first, but as you change your thoughts and actions, your
feelings will follow.
You don’t have to wait to start feeling good about yourself. You can start with
small,simple life actions every day that will help you see yourself for the
awesome and amazing person you are.
Want some ideas? Here are some ways to feel good about yourself which your
niks does:-
1. Call your mother. For most of us, this is the person who loves us the most and
has our back. Ask her for some positive words. If not mom, then call that
someone who is your support person.
2. Look in the mirror. Instead of finding your physical flaws, look at your best
features. Your eyes? Your hair? Your smile? Focus on that for a minute and be
grateful for it.
3. Write a love note. Let someone you care about know how you feel. Spill your
guts. Be mushy. Sharing your love makes you feel lovable.
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4. List your accomplishments. Go on, write them down. Everything from winning
the spelling bee to completing a project on time. Write down anything you can
think of that you feel proud about. Look at you!
5. Clear your desk. It clears your brain. It helps you think and opens the creative
channels. Now you’re buzzing. And you have a nice clean desk.
6. Do 5 minutes of exercise. Yes, 5 minutes. It’s not intimidating, but it will get
the ball rolling. Even a little bit of exercise will boost your energy and could be
the start of a routine for you.
7. Meditate or pray. Go within. Let your ego drop away. Just be and step outside
of self-judgement for a few minutes.
8. Fix your hair and make-up. Darn if it doesn’t make you feel better. When you
look your best, you see yourself differently.
9. Apologize. If you’ve done something wrong, apologize. Guilt and shame are
such unhealthy emotions. Take care of this right away.
10. Find something to give away. If you have something you don’t need or use,
and it might be something someone else might need or use, give it to them. It
feels good — like good Karma.
11. Lift someone’s spirits. You can turn around bad feelings about yourself right
away when you channel your energy into making someone feel good about
themselves. It’s crazy how that works.
12. Change one thing. If there’s something really bothering you about yourself,
then pick one small action to change it and do that now. Go ahead. Just a little
thing
yourself. Now turn it around and state the opposite. There IS truth in the opposite.
So write that down and repeat it until you believe it. Carry it around with you.
14. Dance in front of a mirror. How can you feel bad about yourself when you are
dancing in front of the mirror? I mean really, just look at yourself.
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15. Phone a friend. What are friends but walking, talking antidepressants? One
dose of friend a day, and you are good to go!
16. Talk to yourself (like a friend). No friends home? Then be your own friend.
How would a friend talk to you about your perceived faults? Have that
conversation with yourself, and be a really loving supportive friend.
17. Follow through with a promise. If you’ve made a commitment, do it today. Get
it off your plate. It feels good to be reliable.
18. Compare yourself. Look around you. You have more than most. You have many
good things. Much of the world lives in abject poverty and suffering.
19. Don’t compare yourself. But don’t compare yourself to the 1% of the
population (or less) than might have more or look better or seem smarter. Focus
on your full cup.
20. Write a vision. If you want to feel good about yourself every day for the rest of
your life, then write out a plan for that. What is your life vision? Start writing it
down.
21. Relive your best memory. Pull up a wonderful, happy memory and take a few
minutes to dwell on it. Go through all of the details and feel the feelings you had
then. Now there’s a little boost for you.
22. Feed the birds. Go get a piece of bread and walk outside and feed those
birdies. They will love you. You will be their little birdie god. They will sing your
praises. It’s nice to be a bird deity.
23. Make your bed. You have a neat bed. It makes your room look neat. You are a
neat person. So feel good about that.
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24. Praise your children. Sometimes when we feel bad about ourselves, we take it
out on our children. Don’t do that. Lift them up. Tell them everything you wanted
to hear as a child.
25. Hug someone. Hugs are magical feel-good potions that infuse us with joy. If
you have time, hug someone for the entire day. If not, just once will do.
26. Smile. Just the act of smiling tells your brain you are happy. Really. Try it.
27. Visualize loving kindness. This is a Buddhist meditation that helps you have
compassion and selfless love for yourself and others.
28. Turn of the computer and connect. It’s hard to feel warm fuzzies about yourself
when your only companion is a computer screen. Go find a living, breathing
person and interact with them. They may say something nice to you.
29. Give just a bit more today. Today, go above and beyond. Do just a bit more
with something at work or at home. Give more than is expected.
30. Adjust your expectations. You don’t have to be perfect or near perfect. You can
screw up and still be just fine.
31. Let someone else decide. Relinquish responsibility to someone else every now
and then. They can be right or in the spotlight, and you can let them. That’s OK.
32. Offer your seat. Isn’t it nice to see someone do that for a lady, or an elderly
person, or a pregnant woman? Doesn’t it seem gracious and kind? Do it if you
have the chance.
33. Sow peace. Find a way today to create peace. Negativity is all around. Sprinkle
peace over it.
34. Hold your tongue. Don’t say it. You may want to. You may have the right to.
But just smile instead.
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35. Change your self-talk. Be a detached observer of the things you are saying to
yourself.Change your words to words of loving kindness.
36. Pretend. Don’t feel great about yourself? Pretend that you do. Act like you
do. Pretty soon you really will.
37. Plan a party. Parties are fun. People like parties. People like the people who
throw parties. It doesn’t have to be a big one. Just get fun people together.
38. Balance your checkbook. I know, yuck. But it’s important, so get it out of the
way, and you’ll feel better.
39. Choose healthy. If you have a choice between healthy and unhealthy today,
choose healthy. That’s a positive thing.
40. Define your integrity. What does integrity mean to you? Write it down. Are you
living in it?
41. Do something out of the box. Shake things up a bit. Change your routine. Try
something new. It will make you feel like a mover and shaker.
42. Appreciate beauty. It’s all around you. Just look for it. When you see it on the
outside, you may feel it on the inside. Beauty is catching.
43. Show humility. Bask in just knowing your own greatness inside without the
need to have it reinforced publicly.
44. Share some wisdom. Your life experiences have taught you many things. Share
what you’ve learned with others in a way that is useful.
45. Read something uplifting. Divert your mind from negative thinking. Find a
great book that will inspire and uplift you.
46. Surprise someone. Do something fun and unexpected for someone you care
about. Just planning this will life your spirits.
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47. Have empathy. Go beyond sympathy for someone. Put yourself in their shoes
and see the situation through their eyes. Empathy breeds compassion, and
compassion sows the seeds of love and healing.
48. Go out of your way. Do something a little extra, even if you don’t really want
to or feel like it. It will make you feel good.
49. Simplify. A complicated, task-oriented, stuff-filled life will not make you
happy or provide long-lasting self-esteem. Give yourself the time and space to
live within your authentic value system.
50. Make amends. If you are on the outs with someone, even if you are not at
fault, extend the olive branch. Open yourself for healing.
51. Find a mentor. Find someone whose life or work you aspire to emulate.
Watch and learn. Then copy.
52. Be a mentor. Be that person for someone in your life — someone who could
really use your guidance and example.
53. Put family first. In the end, what else really matters? Every single day,
connect with them through your time, love, and attention.
54. Put yourself first. Part of putting your family first is treating yourself with
loving kindness. Give enough to yourself so you have energy for them.
55. Say no. Don’t allow yourself to be bullied, guilted, or shamed into doing
anything. Say no when you mean no.
56. Say yes. Say yes to life, to new adventures, to new friends, to creativity, to
spontaneity. Don’t say no when you long for yes.
57. Start a new habit. Pick one habit you’ve wanted to accomplish. Start very
small. Set up accountability. Don’t think ahead.
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58. Breathe deeply. Learn proper breathing techniques. It is healing for the body
and mind.
59. Ask for a back rub. A loving touch reminds you that you are connected to
others and that your physical happiness is important.
60. Be present right now. Get out of your head. Stop dwelling on the past or
worrying about the future. This “right now” is all you really own. So shift your
entire focus on it.
61. Be kind to your spouse. Just be kind. Kindness goes a long way in a
relationship.
62. Hang up your clothes. Clean up your space. Take care of yourself and your
environment. Respect the time and money it took to purchase what you wear.
63. Pay those bills. If you have outstanding bills, do what needs to be done to get
them paid. The energy and stress of them hanging over your head will pull you
into a hole.
64. Make the appointment. If you need to go to the doctor, the therapist, a coach,
a lawyer, an accountant, whatever — stop stalling and make the appointment.
Today.
65. Don’t give up. Whatever it is, hang in there just a little longer. Find the
strength, the emotional or mental reserve. Ask for help if you need it.
66. Release tension. If you feel it building up, stop what you are doing and go
release it. Exercise, sing, scream, beat a pillow. Get it out in a healthy way before
you do something to get yourself arrested.
67. Bake cookies. Freshly baked cookies are the salve for anything that ails you.
Try it, you’ll see what I mean.
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68. Remind yourself, it will be OK. It usually is. In spite of all of your fretting
and worry, most of the time things work out.
69. Let the universe catch you. Just give in and let circumstances unfold as they
may. Fall back and let the universe catch you.
70. Embrace frailty. Feeling weak, scared, alone, and like a failure is part of the
human condition. We all experience frailty in mind and spirit. Embrace it so that
you can overcome it for now. And embrace it the next time, and the next . . .
71. Get out of your head and do something. Stop thinking and act. Action moves
you forward. Thinking keeps you stuck.
72. Watch a funny video. You can’t be laughing and feel bad about yourself at
the same time. Watch something funny. Like this video.
73. Step away from your work. Sometimes just a break from the stress of your
job, even for 10-15 minutes, can rejuvenate you and make you realize that there
is so much more to life than the goings-on of your job.
74. Don’t drink too much. Alcohol is a depressant. If you are feeling bad about
yourself, too much will make you feel worse.
75. Eat something healthy. Sometimes when you feel bad, you are missing
nutrients and/or energy. Eat foods that will sustain your body and mind.
76. Drink water. Lots and lots of it. Just increasing your water intake is a good
habit. Good habits make you feel good about yourself.
77. Take the steps. Break it down. Start small. One at a time. Now take the first
one. That’s all. It’s a start. Good for you.
78. Hire a coach. A coach will work with you to go farther, to stretch yourself, to
get there faster, to discover more of your own greatness.
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79. Scale back. Spend less. Save. Do without some unnecessary things. Un-
complicate your life.
80. Journal. Get it out on paper. Release the thoughts and worries bottled up
inside. It will feel freeing.
81. Have a cup of tea. Sit quietly and sip your tea. Just enjoy this experience for
what it is. Pleasant and soothing.
82. Play with your pet. Your pets love you unconditionally. Bask in that love and
attention.
83. Dress up. Reflect a put-together, attractive person on the outside and you
may begin to feel it on the inside.
84. Plan your day. Have 2-3 things you know you want to accomplish. Plan those
in the morning or the night before. Not a huge list, but just 2-3. You may
accomplish more, but if you check off those 2-3, it will feel great.
85. Reveal yourself. Don’t hide behind your fears or false expectations of
yourself. Be real, flaws and all. A real person is much more attractive.
86. Compliment someone. Just say something nice. Make someone’s day with
your words, and it will make yours.
87. Give yourself gold stars. It’s amazing how satisfying it is to line up gold stars
for a task accomplished or a new habit.
89. Work on your flexibility. Stretching reduces pain, increases blood flow,
improves your posture, and protects you from injury.
90. Add one more serving of veggies. You probably don’t get enough, so add one
more today. Choose something with micro-nutrients like spinach, kale, or bok
choy.
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91. Start a dollar a day savings jar. Just put one dollar a day in a jar. Throw in
some change for fun every now and then. Watch it grow.
92. Surround yourself with light. Visualize yourself surrounded by a white,

peaceful, loving light.
93. Plan an adventure. Come up with a fun trip or weekend getaway that is new
and exciting. Just planning it makes you feel good.
94. Send a funny text. Make someone else laugh with a surprise message.
95. Examine your intentions. Look carefully at why you are doing something. Do
your intentions match your values? If not, reconsider.
96. Learn a new word. Improve your vocabulary and impress yourself with your
acumen with the lexicon!
97. Create a sacred space. Create a special place in your home for meditation,
prayer, journaling, reading, and reflection.
98. Rest for ten minutes. Just rest. Do nothing. Allow yourself to just be in the
moment.
99. Know you are loved. You are . . . and sometimes that’s all you need to know
to remember how wonderful you are.
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CHAPTER-25
ASKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk?????????
As a personal coach, I use pointed and thoughtful questions to help my clients

gain more clarity about themselves and to help me better understand my clients
and their goals.
I generally ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes”
or “no” so that the client is encouraged to dig deeper and uncover answers they
may not have realized previously. Often after I ask a question, a client will say,
“I’ve never thought about that before.” Once they ponder the question and their
feelings about it, it can lead to a profound insight or an “ah ha” moment.
Even in social or casual settings, asking the right questions can stimulate deeper
and more interesting discourse. It can set the stage for discovering common
interests, developing a more authentic connection, and fostering mutual
empathy and understanding.
There is an art to asking good questions. No one wants to feel as though they’re
in a job interview or being grilled for information. A big part of asking questions
is listening mindfully to the reply in order to hear beyond the words spoken.
Mindful listening requires watching body language, hearing tone of voice, and
being sensitive to what is left unspoken. It also requires asking thoughtful
follow-up questions or making reflective or supportive statements. By learning to
ask good questions and taking the time and interest to listen mindfully, you are
setting the stage for more intimate, fulfilling, and enjoyable relationships.
Here are questions to ask people to draw them out . . .
1. What is your best childhood memory?

This question always makes people smile and often leads to a humorous or
poignant exchange about family, travel, holidays and traditions, hopes and
dreams, and friendship. You learn a lot about someone when they share aspects
of their childhood.
2. If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently?
This question gives insight into a person’s state of mind about who they are,
their vulnerabilities, and their hopes and dreams. Often sharing regrets or unmet
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desires opens doors to considering new possibilities or the confidence to make

needed change.
3. How did the two of you meet?
This is a great question to ask a couple. Quite often sharing the story of how they
met draws them together in a mutual happy memory. It gives them a reason to
reconnect and allows you to learn more about their past and how they interact
together as a couple.
4. What do you feel most proud of?
This question makes people feel you are really interested in them and who they
are. Everyone wants to feel accomplished and proud, and we all want an
opportunity to share our successes without looking like a braggart. The answers
give you great insight into what the person values most in life.
5. What is your favorite music?
The music we enjoy helps define us and reflects the dreams and attitudes of our
generation. What we listen to reflects what speaks to our souls. It reveals who we
are and what we believe — in an illuminating and honest way that’s often hard
to put into words.
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6. If you could travel anywhere, where

would you go and why?
This question not only allows you to discuss and share travel experiences, but
also it affords insights into the other person’s interests, personality, and sense of
adventure.
7. If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be?
This question really makes people think. We are so attached to our possessions,
but truthfully there are only a few that matter deeply to us. When people are
forced to define those few, it gives insight into what they value most.
8. What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?
Teachers can play a pivotal role in helping us develop a love of learning,
discover our life passions, and draw out our innate skills. Sometimes they are
people who inspire us or who simply believe in us and want the best for us.
9. What do you want your tombstone to say?
Although this is a morbid question, it does go right to the heart of what we want
for ourselves. At the end of our lives, how do we want to be remembered and
what legacy do we want to leave?
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10. What was one of your most defining moments in life?

This is a great question to invite sharing on a deeper and more vulnerable level.
Often defining moments come during profound life transitions like death,
divorce, job loss, etc. It is during these times we are called to make a huge
mental, physical, or emotional shift.
11. Why did you choose that profession?
The story of how someone landed in a particular profession opens the door to
learning a lot about a person and their motivations, interests, education, and
ambitions. We spend most of our days working, so the answer to this question
also reveals how a person chooses to define their lives.
12. How do you spend your free time?

This is a great follow-up question to the previous question. It rounds out the
picture of how this person has created his or her life and what hobbies, interests,
and obligations they have created for themselves.
13. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
This is a fun question that reveals so much about a person and their attitudes
about money, work, and life passion. Would they leave their job? Buy their
dream home? Do something altruistic? Would they be happy about having a lot
of money or want to avoid it?
14. Who do you most admire in life?
This is a great question to learn more about the kind of person someone wants to
emulate. We admire people whose actions and character reflect what we want in
ourselves. This will tell you a lot about the true character of a person.
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15. What are your top three favorite books and why?
Sharing favorite books opens the door for interesting conversation and finding
common ground between you. It gives you and the other person a chance to
learn something new and potentially to understand a new perspective or interest
you haven’t pursued.
16. What are you most afraid of?
This is a very probing and enlightening question. Everyone has fears, and our
fears reveal our vulnerabilities and pain. When someone shares this with you,
you must respond with care, kindness, and trustworthiness. You must treat their
fears with dignity so they feel safe connecting with you on this more intimate
level.
17. What feels like love to you?
Everyone has their own “love language” — the words, behaviors, and attitudes
that make them feel loved and that reveal how they express love. This is a great
question to ask your spouse, romantic partner, or a potential romantic partner.
18. What is your strongest personal quality?
Most people feel uncomfortable with this question at first because they want to
appear modest. But truly we all want to feel validated about our positive
qualities and have others recognize this about us. People will usually follow up
by asking this question of you, and it creates a positive feeling and bond between
you.
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19. What was your most embarrassing moment?

This is a fun question that can lead to laughter and connection. Most people
enjoy telling funny stories about themselves if there isn’t shame or guilt involved.
Occasionally someone will reveal something painful or shameful, and this is the
time to show empathy and caring.
20. If you were president, what is the first thing you would do?
You can learn a lot about someone’s political beliefs, ideals, worries, and values
when you ask this question. If you want to connect and invite open discussion,
just be sure you don’t challenge or put down the response you get if it happens to
be different from what you would do.
21. What age do you feel right now and why?
Ask this question of someone over 50, and you’ll get some interesting responses.
As we get older, most people don’t “feel” their chronological age. It’s
enlightening to learn how people perceive themselves internally even though
externally they may be at a completely different stage of life.
22. If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it
be?
This is a fascinating question that invites interesting discussion. You can learn
about someone’s interests and goals, and perhaps you’ll be inspired to delve into
a new interest yourself.
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23. What is a skill you’d like to learn and why?

Most of us have something we want to learn to improve ourselves or for simple
enjoyment. This question gives the person the opportunity not only to share that
desire, but also to examine why they haven’t pursued learning the skill.
24. What does a perfect day look like to you?
Thinking about this question requires us to dig around in our memories for
previous perfect days. It’s a feel good question that gives both people an infusion
of happiness and maybe even the desire to recreate that perfect day.
25. How would your friends describe you?
This question allows the other person to talk about themselves from an outside
perspective. It invites self-awareness and self-honesty and opens the door to
more authentic conversation.
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CHAPTER-26
BE SELF OBSESSED
Why is it that we have such a hard time loving ourselves?

Even when we know in our heads we are worthy, we don’t feel it in our hearts.
We don’t believe it when a loved one says, “You’re beautiful, smart, and
capable.” Instead, we believe that little inner voice whispering, “You’re ugly,
stupid, and unlovable.”
Underlying most of the emotional challenges we face, from depression to
relationship problems, is the struggle for self-love. When we don’t feel worthy
and can’t accept our flaws and weaknesses, we either shove down our feelings
(which manifests in depression and anxiety), or we express them in unhealthy
ways (through anger, passive-aggressive behaviors, or dysfunction).
Self-worth is essential for being a fully-actualized individual. When we don’t
love ourselves, we compromise our relationships and every other part of our
lives. We simply can’t function at an optimal level and fulfill our potential for
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happiness and success. Low self-worth undermines our happiness with a variety
of self-sabotaging behaviors, such as:
 Neediness, insecurity, and people-pleasing
 Defensiveness and hypersensitivity
 Difficult, chaotic relationships
 Eating disorders
 Hypervigilance, extreme fear of making mistakes
 Passive-aggressiveness
 Perfectionism
 Poor personal boundaries
 Poor communication skills
 Poor social skills
 Promiscuity
 Sexual dysfunction
 Underachievement
 Workaholic behaviors
 Inauthenticity, wearing a mask
Self-love is so difficult because the world often doesn’t reflect back to us what
we’d like to believe about ourselves. We may accept the concept that we are
worthy, and hopefully loving family and friends reinforce that. But out in the
harsh world, we encounter criticism, comparisons, and judgements. We are told
we aren’t good enough, and eventually we believe it.
We’ve forgotten how to trust ourselves and rely on our own beliefs and
judgements. Instead we look to others to build us up and manufacture our self-
esteem. If others don’t like the person we are, we struggle to become someone
else who meets the world’s approval.
Also we get trapped in “the negativity bias,” an evolutionary adaptation in which
we pay much more attention to negative beliefs and events than positive. We are
simply wired to focus more on our flaws and shortcomings than on our positive
qualities.
With all of these challenges undermining our efforts for worthiness, it’s no
wonder so many people suffer with low self-esteem. In order to embrace our true
worthiness, we have to learn new ways of thinking and responding to the input
we receive from the world around us.
love yourself:
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1. Define worthiness for yourself.

Examine your own values. Define your integrity. Get clear on what YOU believe,
what kind of person you want to be, and how you want to live your life — within
the context of what is realistically attainable. Create your own personal
operating system for life, without relying on what others think is best for you.
2. Become aware of your thoughts.
Start paying attention to the nature of your thoughts and how often you think
negative things about yourself. Simply this awareness will help you disengage
from the thoughts, if only for a few minutes. Diminish the reality and power of
your negative thoughts by identifying them. Say something to yourself like,
“There are those negative thoughts again. Look at what they are doing to me.”
3. Filter your perceptions.
As you become more aware of your thinking patterns, begin to filter your
thoughts by applying the light of reality to them. Ask yourself, “Is my thought
really the truth? Is it the entire truth or just my perception of the truth?”
Challenge all of your negative thoughts, and seek out evidence that contradicts
your negative beliefs. Do what you can to loosen your grasp on self-limiting
beliefs.
4. Create new environments.
If certain environments or situations highlight or reinforce your feelings of low
self-worth, change your environment. Put yourself in situations more often
where you feel successful, confident, accepted, and happy. Play to your
strengths, and focus on your natural aptitudes rather than struggling against
something that constantly brings you down.
5. Find the right tribe.
If you are surrounded by critical, judgmental people, this will further entrench
your feelings of low self-worth. Find supportive friends who are easy to be
around, caring, fun, and happy. Let go of people who put you down, try to
manipulate you, or treat you poorly. This isn’t always easy to do, but letting go of
just one negative person can have a huge impact on your day-to-day feelings.
6. Practice realistic optimism.
When you really don’t believe you’re lovable, affirming that you are lovable feels
false. Rather than making blanket statements about your self-worth, identify
more honest, but optimistic affirmations you can say to yourself. For example,
you might say, “Today I’m not as accomplished as I want to be, but I know I can
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improve and feel better about myself.” Improvement is always possible, and
working on an improvement goal will make you feel better about yourself.
7. Learn the power of acceptance.
Maybe you don’t like your face or your body. Maybe you aren’t the funniest or
most engaging person in your circle. You might look at other people and long to
be like them. There are some realities in life that will never change. You can
struggle against them or learn to accept them. By accepting, you free your
energy to focus on other more productive, positive endeavors. You practice
acceptance by facing your flaws honestly and relaxing your heart and mind.
8. Change what you can.
If positive change is possible, then do whatever you can to change your
behaviors, choices, and actions to support your feelings of self-love. Just
remember that outward change alone won’t make you feel more lovable. You’ll
feel better about yourself for taking action, but that action must be supported
with inner work on your thoughts and beliefs.
9. Celebrate your differences.
Sometimes the very thing we loathe about ourselves is considered our best, most
unique quality by others. If you were the black sheep of your family, you might
believe you are the “odd” one. But as an adult, other people regard your
personality or lifestyle as interesting and attractive. Don’t strive to fit in.
Celebrate being unique.
10. Practice gratitude.
During the times when you catch yourself in negative thinking, switch gears
entirely and focus on gratitude. Make a list of everything you are grateful for in
your life — from the most insignificant to the most important. Don’t just jot
things down quickly. Really focus on each item on the list, and think about how
you’d feel without it. Study after study has shown that the regular practice of
gratitude helps improve your outlook and feelings of happiness.
11. Show compassion for yourself.
Pretend you are your own best friend, and show the kind of compassion to
yourself you would show to someone you care about. Rather than putting
yourself down, use words of encouragement and support. You are as deserving
of kindness as anyone, so set the stage for that by treating yourself kindly.
12. Learn healthy communication skills.
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Being able to communicate your feelings and fears in mature, non-

confrontational, healthy ways is critical to self-esteem and improved
relationships. Everyone has insecurities, but rather than hide or diminish them,
improve your emotional intelligence so you are less reactive and more authentic.
13. Be willing to set boundaries.
When we don’t love ourselves, often we let others take advantage of us.
Sometimes we don’t even know this is happening because we haven’t
created firm boundaries. Decide how you want to be treated and what you will
and won’t tolerate. This may be difficult if you’re accustomed to letting others
have their way. Start by communicating one new boundary at a time and
practicing holding firm with it.
14. Speak up for yourself.
Part of creating and following through on your boundaries is learning to speak
up for yourself. If others say or do things you don’t like, or if you have ideas or
input you previously held back for fear of offending someone, try stepping out of
your comfort zone and speaking your mind. You can do this calmly but
decisively, even if you have to pretend at first.
15. Take care of yourself.
You show love and compassion for yourself when you treat your body, mind, and
emotions with care. That means eating healthy foods, exercising, getting enough
sleep, going to the doctor, taking care of your hygiene, having a support system,
and finding ways to stimulate your mind. When you treat yourself as someone
with value, you’ll feel more valuable.
16. Find your passion.
When you find something you love as your career or even as a hobby, you’ll
have a new purpose for your life. A passion gives you a reason to get up in the
morning, as you’re eager and engaged in what you are doing. You’ll find you
use your natural skills and aptitudes with your passion, and this reinforces a
positive self-perception. Knowing your passion allows you to be authentic and
express yourself through your interests and endeavors. You don’t have to
pretend to be something you aren’t.
17. Simplify and create balance.
A complicated, overly scheduled life drains your energy and creates anxiety.
Decide how much order and balance you want in your life, and begin cutting
back on the tasks, obligations, and material things that don’t add to your life.
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This will give you breathing room to pursue your passion, work on yourself, and
redefine how you want to spend your time and energy. Giving yourself this space
is a way of showing love to yourself.
18. Deal with past wounds.
If there’s something from your childhood or more recent past that has impacted
your self-esteem and restricted your ability to love yourself, then take action to
heal those wounds. Find a professional counselor who can help you navigate
through the past pain and work with you to learn new ways of relating to
yourself and others.
19. Practice forgiveness.
To love yourself, you must first forgive yourself and forgive others who have
hurt you. You forgive yourself in the same way you forgive a loved one who
genuinely seeks forgiveness. You offer it freely and with compassion. Beating
yourself up over and over again is an exercise in futility. Do what needs to be
done to right any wrongs and regain your integrity, and then let it go. If others
have wounded you, offer the same forgiveness to them — even if they don’t seek
it. The ability to forgive is a huge step toward self-respect and wholeness.
20. Show the love you want to others.
If you want love, understanding, and compassion, treat others with the same.
Become the kind of person you want to surround yourself with. Don’t offer love
in order to be validated or get something in return. Offer unconditional love with
no expectations. The more you can give love freely, the more love you have for
yourself.
Learning to love yourself is a process. As you begin to trust yourself and define
your needs and desires, you’ll find you need less and less validation and
reinforcement from others. You’ll create experiences and relationships that
match your values and authentic desires, reinforcing your essential worth and
lovability.
With every mindful effort and shift in thinking, you’ll find you respect yourself
and see yourself as deserving of your own love.
Be Connected
CHAPTER-27
BAD HABITS SUCKS
Before you know it, that one decision has mushroomed into big, bad habit. We
become physically or mentally addicted to substances, food, spending, nail biting,
and any number of actions that don’t reflect our best selves.
You know what your bad habits are, don’t you? It’s kind of embarrassing you can’t
stop them. You don’t really want to admit they’re habits, but in your heart of
hearts, you know they have a hold on you.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably tried many times to quit, to break the habit and
set yourself free from limiting, unhealthy actions or thoughts. Maybe you’ve had a
little success, but eventually you go back to that stinking habit like a crow returns
to carrion.
And boy does that do a number on your self-esteem. Why oh why don’t we have the
self-control to just STOP??
If it makes you feel better, bad habits are really, really hard to break. That’s
because you’ve spent a long time “teaching” your brain to embrace the routine.
You’ve carved out deep and solid neural pathways for this habit.
Imagine walking through the woods on a clear and easy path. Then you decide to
get off the path and make your way through the brambles and thick forest. Pretty
quickly you find yourself jumping back on the beaten path. That’s what
happens when you try to jump off the bad habit path and forge new behaviors.
So is it possible to get off the bad habit path for good and not return to it? Yes . . .
it is if you understand the very specific skills involved.
Here’s how to break bad habits using good habits:
Identify the bad habit.
If possible, for your first try at breaking habits, you want to start with a relatively
easy bad habit. If you smoke or drink too much, don’t start with these as they
involve strong physical addictions. Begin with something like biting your nails or
snacking before bed so you increase your likelihood of success the first time
around. If your only real bad habit is something difficult, just realize it will take
more time and patience.
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Recognize your prompts.

Ok, this might seem crazy, but make a note of every time you crave your bad habit
by using an app on your smartphone or a note card. Ask yourself where you are,
what time it is, what you are doing, and who you’re around.
The answers to these questions will reveal the prompt for your bad habit. For
example, if biting your nails is your bad habit, you might observe that you do this
every time you sit down to watch TV or when your mother-in-law walks in the
room.
Isolate the reward.
Every bad habit satisfies some need or desire. You might bite your nails to relieve
stress. You might overspend to get the satisfaction or thrill of having something
new. Maybe you eat chips because you love that salty, crunchy taste. Think about
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exactly what you get from performing this bad habit, and how it makes you feel.
Find a positive replacement.

One reason it rarely works to drop a bad habit cold turkey is that you leave an
empty void — one that longs to be filled. If you don’t replace your bad habit with
something else, you’re bound to go right back to the old behavior.
Find a new, positive behavior you can substitute in the place of bad habit. Remind
yourself of the rewards you get from the bad habit, and find a positive habit that
might give you the same or similar rewards.
For example, if you bite your nails because you’re nervous, maybe you take up
knitting or some other hand skill that occupies your fingers and works off that
nervous energy. If you like crunchy, salty snacks, maybe you eat cucumbers with
hummus rather than potato chips.
If you can’t find a similar replacement habit that’s positive, then choose a reward
that’s the complete opposite of your bad habit. For example, if you surf the net too
much after you get home from work, go out and take a long walk instead.
Your reward won’t completely satisfy the craving for your bad habit, but it
provides a similar substitute action to help you ride out the urges and redirect your
behavior.
Keep a journal.
Studies show when you measure behavior and keep records of your progress, you
are more likely to follow through and succeed. Measuring your actions and
watching your successes (and failures) to change the habit provides motivation
and awareness.
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Every day, write down whether or not you were able to identify your triggers and
replace the bad habit with the good one. Make a note of your feelings and how
difficult it was to skip the bad habit and perform the new one. Give yourself a
score from 1-10, with one being very easy and ten being very hard. In time,
you’ll notice your scores getting lower and lower.
Ride out the cravings.
You will have strong cravings in the beginning and feel the overpowering urge to
perform your bad habit. Rather than thinking this means you can’t be
successful, force yourself to wait fifteen to twenty minutes.
Do some deep breathing, perform your positive habit, and even phone a friend to
distract you. If you can ride the wave of your craving, you’ll notice it diminishes
on its own. Over the coming weeks, these cravings will be less and less powerful,
especially if you’re performing your substitute habit regularly.
Plan for life difficulties.

Life inevitably throws curveballs our way — we get some bad news, we feel blue,
or we’re in an unfamiliar or stressful situation. These are the times when we
might adopt a “what the hell” attitude and fall back into our old habit patterns.
If you plan for these situations in advance, then it’s much more likely you can
maintain your new habit and not disrupt the routine you’re so carefully
developing.
Think about how you tend to react to stress, mood swings, or other life
difficulties. Have you found yourself relying on the bad habit to get you
through? If so, how can you use positive self-talk, support from friends and
family, and other positive means of coping to get through difficult times without
resorting to your old ways? Create your own “emergency plan” for these
situations.
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Expect slip-ups.
Breaking bad habits is hard, and it’s quite likely you’ll have a few slip-ups, even
when you’ve planned carefully and know what to do. Don’t allow a setback to be
an excuse for quitting. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure or incapable of changing
the habit. It just means you had a momentary lapse. The method outlined here
WILL work, so remind yourself of that. Refer to the successes you’ve outlined in
your journal, and use positive self-talk to help motivate you to start again.
Depending on the difficulty of your bad habit, it can take a few months before
you feel it has lost is grip on you and the new habit is firmly established. Be
patient with yourself. Stay the course, and return to these steps when you have
setbacks. With consistent effort, you’ll free yourself from this bad habit — and
you’ll have a brand new positive habit that further improves your life.
Be Connected
CHAPTER-28
WISH U SUCCESS
--These are keys for your successssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

KEY 1: I Have a Positive Attitude! Learn what attitude is, what aspects of your life
are controlled or directed by your attitude, how to determine your attitude at any
given moment, and what specific strategies make a positive attitude a permanent
habit in your life. I wrote about the importance of attitude in yesterday’s post.
KEY 2: I Believe in Myself! Understand the nature of human potential through a

simple process of identifying your personal talents and abilities; developing
academic strengths and personal interests to create personal fulfillment and
economic opportunities for your future.
KEY 3: I Build Positive Habits! Understand the process of how habits are created.
Learn to identify and remove self-defeating habits and create habits that will make
all aspects of your life easier and more successful. I wrote about the power of
positive habits in a recent post.
KEY 4: I Make Wise Choices! Learn the dramatic relationship between any
current circumstances in your life and the choices that created these
circumstances. Develop a personal proactive plan for desired outcomes through
conscious, wise choices.
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KEY 5: I Set and Achieve Goals! Recognize the difference between a wish and a
goal. Make a commitment, plan and take action, and recognize completion.
KEY 6: I Use My Creative Imagination! Extend your physical ability to accelerate

problem solving and goal achievement in all areas of your life.
KEY 7: I Am Persistent! Track progress, develop the focus and determination

required to succeed, create an attitude of gratitude as the access to fulfilling your
dreams, and link the Seven Keys to Success together in everyday life.
The Go For It! Institute is in business to bring these keys to young people and their
parents. But as a career success coach, I think they are important ideas for anyone
interested in creating life and career success. The Go For It! Institute’s Seven Keys
to Success bare a remarkable similarity to the ideas behind one of my four keys for
career success; commitment to taking personal responsibility for your life and
career success.
Since we’re at Tweet 40 (of my book, Success Tweets), it makes sense to do a quick
overview of my four keys to life and career success, the “4Cs:” Clarity,
Commitment, Confidence and Competence.”
Here they are in a little more detail…
 Clarity of purpose and direction

 A sincere commitment to taking personal responsibility for your life and
career
 Unshakeable self-confidence
 Competence in four key areas:
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1. Creating positive personal impact

2. Outstanding performance
3. Dynamic communication
4. Relationship building
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I AM MOTIVATINAL BOMB

My mind always says that whenever you are going to do any

Everybody in this world is

Why Set Goals?

Starting to Set Personal Goals

You set your goals on a number of levels:

Step 1: Setting Lifetime Goals

Step 2: Setting Smaller Goals

Then create a one-year plan, six-month plan, and a one-month plan of

 S – Specific (or Significant).

Further Tips for Setting Your Goals

 State each goal as a positive statement – Express your goals positively –

In business, these reasons could be bad business environments or unexpected

Example Personal Goals

Her lifetime goals are as follows:

 Career – "To be managing editor of the magazine that I work for."

 Five-year goal: "Become deputy editor."

Goal setting is an important method of:

 Deciding what you want to achieve in your life.

If you want to succeed faster, double your rate of failure.

Personally I like the latter of the two...

4) FAILURE ENCOURAGES THE STRONG AND DISCOURAGES THE WEAK!

5) MAKES YOU HONEST WITH YOURSELF

6) MAKES ONE MORE INTANGIBLE / THICKSKINNED

Becoming thick skinned is really a by-product of character building with a bit

7) SUCCESS TOO SOON CAN GIVE FALSE CONFIDENCE

Succeeding too quickly may actually blind one's potential...

8) FAILURE ENCOURAGES IMPROVEMENT & PLANNING

9) FAILURE REVEALS YOUR WEAKNESSES

10) SUCCESS IS THE ATTITUDE FAILURE IS THE LEVER

Here are a couple examples:

BE - father, basketball coach, millionaire, healthy….

(3) Gather Images for each

True secret of success

I constantly get caught in cycles of over-learning and under-doing. You don’t

Big Goals take sacrifice

 Commit fully, in a public way.

4. Read and/ or Listen to Motivational Material: in the morning a whole day of

1. Tell a new story.

2. Feel the thoughts that make you feel good.

3. Spring clean your belief system.

4. Get happy now!

5. Get into gratitude.

6. Create a bliss board.

7. Take a leap of faith.

As creatures of habit, our routines are comfortable and comforting. We humans

Want to live an exciting life?

PLZZZZZZ make life more exciting.

4. Move your furniture. Rearrange or redecorate a room, switching things up

18. Go to a comedy club or mystery dinner theater. Have an exciting evening of

Does Your Life Even Matter?

Rinse, recycle, repeat.

Do you ever wonder…

Does my life even matter?

There is magic and fear behind this question.

Why am I living each day stuck on repeat?

10 Ways to Start Living a Meaningful Life… Today

The key is to step back and to ask these two questions:

1) What type of character do I want to have?

Then immediately start acting in a manner consistent with your answer.

2. Commit This Moment

3. Donate Your Time

4. Listen When People Talk To You