DeYtH

Banger

Brain on Porn
Brain On Porn

by DeYtH Banger



Content

Brain on Porn


Part 1

1. Intention Left Empty Blank
2. Introduction
3. Facts
4. Extra Material
5. Warning
6. And it Happen (Part 1)
7. And it Happen (Part 2)
8. And it Happen (Part 3)
9. And It HAPPEN (Part 4)

Part 2

1. Porn Is A Disease
2. Probably
3. Chapter 1.1 - Too Much Porn (Part 1)
4. Chapter 1.2. - Too Much Porn (Part 2)
5. Chapter 2 - Insights
6. Chapter 3 - Shit
7. Chapter 4 - Let's Make It (Your fantasies are corrupted)
8. Chapter 4.1 - Too Much More (Part 3)
9. Chapter 5 - Porn Isn't Addictive
10. Chapter 5.1. - You are in
11. Chapter 5.2 - Too Much Porn (Part 4)
12. Chapter 5.3 - So More

Part 3


1. Chapter 6 - Stop (Forgotten)

2. Chapter 6.1. - Too Much Porn (Part 5)
3. Chapter 7 - Take Action
4. Chapter 8 - No More Excuses!
5. Chapter 8.1 - Path Of Addiction
6. Chapter 9 - Rabbit
7. Chapter 9.1 - Fake Life (Fantasies... Imaginations) [Part 1]
8. Chapter 9.2 - Fake Life (Fantasies... Imaginations) [Part 2]
9. Chapter 10 - Die
10. Chapter 10.1 - Fantasies & Haters
Intention Left Empty Blank

"We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if

we cannot change our thinking."

Santosh Kalwar



"Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be
alcohol, morphine or idealism."

C.G. Jung



"Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the
result is the same: addiction."

William S. Burroughs




"Shame was an emotion he had abandoned years earlier. Addicts
know no shame. You disgrace yourself so many times you become
immune to it."

John Grisham
Introduction

So many males... females, shemales are just sex maniacs... but

not in engaging in healthy relationship... but staying alone... in a
dark room and ... you gues what..




Masturbating... and masturbating... getting horny and doing silly
stuff. Then in the end... they start cumming... when that happens
they start feeling guilty. For example

"Why did I do this"

"How could this happen"
"This is bacK... OH SHITTTTTT."
"Oh god what did I do.."
"Oh god I am piece of shit"
"I will stop."
"One more time."
"I can't do it... I need this relief..."
"No need for outside... I got porn... a place fulfilled with naked
women, naked men and out there... there are plenty of videos... so
let's stream it up... and start doing the thing in which I am the best."

...

THis could continue...

1) First Case could be like to harsh judging and starting beating up
yourself. (To Stop... but in the end... you again fail to do it... you
could relapse over and over and over... even there are cases in which
people relapse few times in roll in a day.) (My case was... one time...
rare two times... in a day and in week it gets 3 times)

 - It's damn difficult to stop yourself from doing that... after all
there aren't plenty of books on that material + there are some posts
on the internet and who is interested in reading plenty of articles
which will need a time of 5-6 days...... porn just needs one second...
then a minute which turns into few hours.

2) Debating something which impossible to be changed! (Which
means... it has happen... before few minutes....few hours... few
seconds... you were horny... you are craving for pornographic
material
you were into other type of mindset and you start masturbating...
like a crazy freak... starting going into roles.. which are so fucked up
that in the end you are regreting all which you have done.)



3) You could start insulting yourself... (It's harsh judging)

 Like:

"I am piece of shit"
"I suck"
"I am an asshole"


4) Suicide

Here are the quick Facts (They say more than you think)

"The annual age-adjusted suicide rate is 13.42 per 100,000

individuals. Men die by suicide 3.53x more often than women.
On average, there are 123 suicides per day."


"Suicide is a major cause of premature and preventable death. ...
Depression is the most common illness among those who die
from suicide, with approximately 60% suffering from this
condition. 3,4. No single determinant, including mental illness, is
enough on its own to cause a suicide."

"Each year 44,965 Americans die by suicide"

"Close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which is
one person every 40 seconds. Many more attempt suicide. Suicide
occurs throughout the lifespan and is the second leading cause of
death among 15-29 year olds globally.
Suicide is a global phenomenon; in fact, 78% of suicides occurred
in low- and middle-income countries in 2015. Suicide accounted for
1.4% of all deaths worldwide, making it the 17th leading cause of
death in 2015. Effective and evidence-based interventions can be
implemented at population, sub-population and individual levels to
prevent suicide and suicide attempts.
There are indications that for each adult who died of suicide there
may have been more than 20 others attempting suicide."


(Note: If your brain says "Who da fack.... am I?
...

Tell him that I am the person who is going to safe your life from

- Opps... falling

(SO STOP)
(SO STOP)
(SO STOP)
(SO STOP)
(SO STOP)


(Note: Stop searching material which is going to excuse what next
you are going to do
...

In school if you can backup your argument is good thing, but
here... in the fap world it's ain't good... you are just searching bad
things so to do something which is going to make you feel like shit in
the end of the process.)


- Masturbating, jerking off... or whatever you call it... is causing
depression...

- Depression by itself is leading suicide... (SO FUCKEDDDDDD UP)

AND THE FACTS COMMING

"There is one death by suicide in the US every 12 minutes.

(CDC)"
"Depression affects 20-25% of Americans ages 18+ in a given
year. (CDC)"
"Suicide takes the lives of over 38,000 Americans every year.
(CDC)"

"Only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major

depression receive treatment. (NAMI)"
"80% -90% of people that seek treatment for depression are
treated successfully using therapy and/or medication. (TAPS
study)"
"An estimated quarter million people each year become
suicide survivors (AAS)."
 "There is one death by suicide in the world every 40 seconds."
"Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for
those aged 15-24 years."
"Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide."

So yeah we could continue with more and more data... on the
way you gonna find more and more data about what happens from
too much pornographic material.

In the end the porn add ups...


- Anxiety
- Depression
- Low Self Esteem (Which means low confidence...)

This should explain why when you try to talk with girl you start
overthinking which causes anxiety by itself it causes depression, then
flow in your body starts rushing, you start sweating...

- Oh god it's fucked up!




Shy - That's why you are shy... porn makes u shy


Facts

Age Disparities

1 in 100,000 children ages 10 to 14 die by suicide each year.

(NIMH)
7 in 100,000 youth ages 15 to 19 die by suicide each year.
(NIMH)
12.7 in 100,000 young adults ages 20-24 die by suicide each
year. (NIMH)
The prevalence of suicidal thoughts, suicidal planning and suicide
attempts is significantly higher among adults aged 18-29 than
among adults aged 30+. (CDC)
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year old
Americans. (CDC)
Suicide is the 4th leading cause of death for adults ages 18-65.
(CDC)

The highest increase in suicide is in males 50+ (30 per 100,000).

(CDC)
Suicide rates for females are highest among those aged 45-54 (9
per 100,000). (CDC)
Suicide rates for males are highest among those aged 75+ (36
per 100,000). (CDC)
Suicide rates among the elderly are highest for those who are
divorced or widowed. (SMH)

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

Lesbian, gay, and bisexual kids are 3x more likely than straight
kids to attempt suicide at some point in their lives.
Medically serious attempts at suicide are 4x more likely among
LGBTQ youth than other young people.
 African American, Latino, Native American, and Asian
American people who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual attempt
suicide at especially high rates.
41% of trans adults said they had attempted suicide, in one
study. The same study found that 61% of trans people who were
victims of physical assault had attempted suicide.
Lesbian, gay, and bisexual young people who come from families
that reject or do not accept them are over 8x more likely to
attempt suicide than those whose families accept them.
Each time an LGBTQ person is a victim of physical or verbal
harassment or abuse, they become 2.5x more likely to hurt
themselves.

LEADING ReASONS for Suicide

Some of the negative life experiences that may cause depression,
and some other causes for depression, include:

The death of a loved one.

A divorce, separation, or breakup of a relationship.

Losing custody of children, or feeling that a child custody

decision is not fair.

A serious loss, such as a loss of a job, house, or money.



A serious illness.

A terminal illness.

A serious accident.

Chronic physical pain.

Intense emotional pain.

Loss of hope.



Being victimized (domestic violence, rape, assault, etc).

A loved one being victimized (child murder, child

molestation, kidnapping, murder, rape, assault, etc.).


Physical abuse.

Verbal abuse.

Sexual abuse.

Unresolved abuse (of any kind) from the past.

Feeling "trapped" in a situation perceived as negative.

Feeling that things will never "get better."

Feeling helpless.

Serious legal problems, such as criminal prosecution or

incarceration.


Feeling "taken advantage of."

Inability to deal with a perceived "humiliating" situation.

Inability to deal with a perceived "failure."

Alcohol abuse.

Drug abuse.

A feeling of not being accepted by family, friends, or society.

A horrible disappointment.

Feeling like one has not lived up to his or her high

 expectations or those of another.

Bullying. (Adults, as well as children, can be bullied.)

Low self-esteem.
Extra Material

Books


(Note: Don't be a piece of shit... and think that extra material is
bad for you. so yeah... I will suggest you to read, also and )

Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn

Obsession, and Shame

(Note: 5 stars out of 5

Opinion:
"February 3, 2018 – page 232
100%
February 1, 2018 – page 225
100%
February 1, 2018 – page 224
100.0%
January 16, 2018 – page 200
89.29%
January 14, 2018 – page 159
70.98%
January 2, 2018 – page 96
42.86%
December 22, 2017 – page 80
35.71% "One child needs first to know that all Letters from A To Z
exist and then to see that what happens his/her life needs a
change.... It depends if we look it from this POV, if you have this
compulsion, the answer is within this book."
December 22, 2017 – page 80
35.71% "It destroys people - mentally, it ruins all ways of being
social, it ruins life, families and it creates thoughts of self-
destruction."
December 22, 2017 – Shelved
December 22, 2017 – Started Reading"

P.S. - Very Useful book... it helps a lot in conquering this addiction.)

Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson, Anthony Jack

Warning

The Material which you are going to see next

is for +18


There very graphic nude images in the following next sections.... !
...

Be careful with the next following sections... If needed... you could

skip those sections...

...

And go for the theory... but if you an addict this sections are going to
strike your mind... and then your mindset = porn which puts you in
watching pornographic material to self-pleasure yourself.



- But try while you read this book... to ignore all of this desires

and listen to me... and what I want to say to you






...

If you have some experience into not watching porn for example
for 13 days... or lets say 30 days (Which is a nice step) or (90 Days)...
2 weeks... or whatever... this is good it won't trigger your addiction,
but still be careful.

...

BUT to get over your addiction you should now focus on the all of
the material in this book... don't skip one chapter or skip a page or
pages or skip image/s.. within each page there is material which is
going to help you to overcome your problem.

Part 1

How and What?

And it happen

(Note: Guess what... my dick was hard and now all my hand is
covered with cum... strangely enough... I can't admit it... I feel very
guilty... but i spit on my dick.)




(Note: Guess what... my vagina is fucking wet... and strangely
enough... I have white stuff from my vagina inside my mouth

...)


Being horny is a moment in your life when.
- You can't reason at all


DeYtH Banger
And it Happen



(Note: You sucker, you watch porn like it's some kinda sweets
which you can't taste them, but... it makes your brain feel great...
your dick...


- Feels great


Your vagina

- Feels great


Enough... to got there...


why you don't use the same method when you talk to people?



 Come on:

Today is the moment in which you gonna start to be direct with
people


Which means when you see a girl

you won't stop over thinking, but you gonna start doing (For
Boys)

...

Chat... chat for god sake

...

If you see a boy... you gonna chat with him (For girls)


...

You gonna go there and start the coversation...

If you are a boy and you want to talk with girl


Tell her:

That you want to fuck her.
That she is hot.
That she is sweet.
That you want to facial abuse her.
That you want to touch her slowly.


Tell him:

Oh god... there isn't any scenario... just don't be like others 1) and
2) Talk about everything
don't worry.






And It Happen



(Note: Yeah she is fucking hot... but playing with yourself won't
get any closure to her... you won't touch her... you won't play with
her... if you are male you most likely end up... covered in cum and
playing with yourself... so sex is all about 2 roles.. sex isn't made for
solo games.)

- I am not sure what type of fantasy are you going to fulfill by
having sex with her... or she giving you a blowjob... but


OKAY.... GIVE IT A GO... GO...









(Note: So yeah... froom so much graphic images... it possible
another relapse... but look buddy... this shit is bad... you are losing 2
hours to find porn and 2-3 minutes or more or less... to start
masturbating!?

You could use that time to do better stuff... for example start
having hobbies


Like

Eating more
Sleeping More
Reading a book
Playing a game
Going out with friends

,but look yourself... you decline all that shit like

"I don't need that... I am great with porn."

"It's useless..."

"THey do stupid stuff... it's pointless..")

(Note: normal people relapse by jokes... people aka freaks by jerk
off... what type are you?)



- iN THE END YOU END UP WITH EXCUSES WHICH SAFE YOU FROM
NOT DOING COOL STUFF




And It HAPPEN

(Note: Porn IS INNOCENT, BUT WHAT PORN WON'T TELL YOU THAT
CONSTANT WATCHING IT... WILL EMOTIONALLY CAGE YA.)

(Note: THe more graphic and better quality images get the more
you desire for more and more and more... your addiction can't be
silenced from just one shot... it will go like that... but it will not end
like that... for example you could say "Today it will be my last day of
masturbation"... "Today will be my last day of jerking off"... but still
one day pass... you could do it again or even the most interesting
case after few weeks...

for example 14 days or let's say

21 days pass and what does happen?




P.S.: You can't say some words... and magically this addiction to
stop... you need will




You crave for this content... you start going into more deeper
content so to get boner... or let's say to get horny once horny... you
are like a baybe... that's your state... which means you are out of
control in other words... the content which you watch really... really
doesn't matter... you will go as deep as more... to ejaculate if you are
woman you gonna become type: lesbian

if you are a male more likely type: gay that's what your sexual
preferences are going to be...)

(Note: The End isn't really the end... you could stop for 10 days...
again to be there... 20 days and again come back... you even could
get worse... that's the most worst case let's say that you stop for a
period of time like 30 days... after this 30 days... (if you mind isn't
out of sexual mindset) you could crave soooooo much that you
gonna do the most stupid things.

For example gays they don't see each other as male and male... The
first guy see himself as a female and the second guy is dominating...

so in other words... gay couples... it's role playing game


The First is dominant which is typical for behavior of heterosexual
male... and the second person behavior of heterosexual female.

...

(THis is theory... and it sucks when I am right)





 (Note: Let me define it... so sloppy job is... a blowjob which within
it you could find piss... cum and spit... so your dick could be covered
with spit.. (aka human), pee (yours), cum (yours).) - It's disgusting!


(Note: This shit is disgusting, but that's what most men get on...
the more you watch the more disgusting stuff you start watching so
your dick or your pussy to get erected and from them...

masturbating...

YOU ARE NOT REALLY A LESBIAN
YOU ARE NOT REALLY A LESBIAN

...

YOU ARE NOT REALLY A GAY
YOU ARE NOT REALLY A GAY)

Porn Is A Disease

This below are the categories of this disease...

and it KEEPS GROWING

10 inch cock
18 21 year old
3d
3some
4some
69 pos

A
Accident
Acrobatic
Adorable
Adult
Adultery
African
Aged
Alien
All holes
Allure
Amateur
American
Anal
Anal beads
Anal creampie
Anal first time
Anal fisting
Anal teen
Anal toying
Angry
Anime
Antique
Arab teen
Arabian
Argentinian
Army
Asian
Asian amateur
Asian anal
Asian bbw
Asian big tits
Asian ladyboy
Asian lesbian
Asian mature
Asian old and young
Asian orgy
Asian swingers
Asian teen
Ass
Ass to mouth
Assfingering
Assfucking
Asshole
Asslick
Athletic
Audition
Aunt
Australian
Awesome

B
Babe
Babysitter
Backroom
Backseat
Ballerina
Banana
Banging
Bathing
Bathroom
Bbw
Bdsm
Beach
Beads
Beauty
Beaver
Bed sex
Bedroom
Behind the scenes
Belly
Bend over
Best friend
Beurette
Big ass
Big black cock
Big clit
Big cock
Big natural tits
Big nipples
Big tits
Biker
Bikini
Bimbo
Birthday
Bisexual
Bitch
Bizarre
Black
Black amateur
Black anal
Black ass
Black bbw
Black big tits
Black butt
Black granny
Black lesbian
Black mature
Black orgy
Black shemale
Black swingers
Black teen
Blindfolded
Blonde
Blowjob
Blue eyed
Boat
Body
Bodybuilder
Bombshell
Bondage
Boobs
Boots
Booty
Boss
Bottle
Bound
Boyfriend
Bra
Braces
Brazilian
Bride
British
British amateur
British anal
British big tits
British fetish
British lesbian
British mature
British orgy
British swingers
British teen
Brunette
Brutal
Bukkake
Bulgarian
Bunny
Bus
Bush
Business woman
Busty
Busty teen
Butt
Buttfucking
Butthole
Buttplug

C
Cage fetish
California
Cameltoe
Canadian
Candid
Candy
Car
Caribbean
Cartoon
Cash
Casting
Caught
Cbt cock ball
Centerfold
Cfnm
Changing room
Cheating
Cheerleader
Chicks
Chinese
Chocolate
Choking
Chubby
Chunky
Church
Cigarette
Cinema
Classic
Classroom
Classy
Cleaner
Climax
Clinic
Clit
Close up
Clothed sex
Clown
Club
Coed
College girl
Colombian
Come
Comic
Competition
Compilation
Condom play
Contest
Corset
Costume
Cotton panties
Couch
Cougar
Country
Couple
Cowgirl
Crack whore
Crazy
Creampie
Croatian
Crossdresser
Crotchless
Crying
Cuban
Cuckold
Cucumber
Cum
Cum covered
Cum drenched
Cum gargling
Cum in her eyes
Cum in mouth
Cum swallowing
Cum swapping
Cumshot
Cunt
Curly haired
Curvy
Cute
Czech

D
Dancing
Danish
Dare
Dark hair
Deepthroat
Desi
Desk
Dick
Dildo
Dirty
Dirty talk
Doctor
Doggystyle
Doll
Domination
Dominatrix
Dominican
Dorm
Double blowjob
Double fisting
Double fucking
Dped
Dped anal
Dped pussy
Dressing room
Drilled
Drinking
Drunk
Dude
Dungeon
Dutch
Dyke

E
Ebony
Egyptian
Electrified
Emo
Enema
Enjoy
Erotic art
Escort
Ethnic
European
Ex girlfriend
Exhibitionists
Exotic
Experienced
Extreme
F
Face fuck
Face fucked
Face sitting
Facial
Fake tits
Fantasy
Farm
Farting
Fast
Fat
Fat amateur
Fat anal
Fat asian
Fat ebony
Fat granny
Fat lesbian
Fat mature
Fat orgy
Fat swingers
Fat teen
Feet
Female ejaculation
Femdom
Fetish
Ffm
Fight
Filipina
Fingering
First time
Fishnet
Fisting
Fitness
Flasher
Flat chested
Fleshlight
Flexible
Flogger whip
Floor
Florida
Food
Footjob
Foreplay
Forest
Foursome
Freckled
French
French amateur
French anal
French arab
French bbw
French fetish
French lesbian
French mature
French orgy
French swingers
Friend
Friends mom
Fucking
Funny
Fur
Futanari

G
Gagged bite or ball
Gagging
Game
Gangbang
Gape
Gaping hole
Garage
Garden
Garter belt
Gay men
German
German amateur
German anal
German fetish
German mature
German orgy
German swingers
Ghetto
Girdle
Girl nextdoor
Girls
Gives
Giving head
Glamour
Glasses
Gloryhole
Gloves
Goddess
Gorgeous
Got
Goth
Grandfather
Grandma
Grandmother
Grandpa
Granny
Granny anal
Granny bbw
Granny big tits
Granny lesbian
Granny orgy
Greek
Grinding
Group orgy
Group sex
Gun
Gym
Gymnast
Gyno exam

H
Hairless
Hairy
Hairy anal
Hairy asian
Hairy ass
Hairy bbw
Hairy ebony
Hairy granny
Hairy legs
Hairy mature
Hairy redhead
Hairy teen
Halloween
Handcuffed
Handjob
Hardcore
Having
Hawaiian
Hd
Hentai
Hermaphrodite
Herself
Hidden cam
High heels
Hogtied
Holes
Holiday
Home
Home alone
Home made
Homeless
Hooker
Hooters
Horny
Hospital
Hot
Hot mom
Hotel
Hottie
Housewife
Huge cock
Huge dildo
Huge tits
Huge toy
Humiliation
Humping
Hungarian
Husband
Husbands friend
Hypnotized

I
In both
Indian
Indian amateur
Indian anal
Indian big tits
Indian fetish
Indian lesbian
Indian mature
Indian orgy
Indian swingers
Indian teen
Innocent
Innocent teen
Insertion
Instruction
Interracial
Interview
Intro
Iranian
Irish
Italian
Italian amateur
Italian bbw
Italian mature
Italian orgy
Italian swingers
Italian teen

J
Jacuzzi
Jail
Japanese
Japanese amateur
Japanese anal
Japanese big tits
Japanese lesbian
Japanese mature
Japanese orgy
Japanese swingers
Japanese teen
Jav
Jeans
Jerking
Jewish
Jizz
Juggs
Juicy
Jungle

K
Kinky
Kissing
Kitchen
Knockers
Korean
L
Labia
Lace
Lactating
Ladyboy
Lap dancing
Latex
Latin
Leashed
Leather
Leggings
Legs
Lesbian
Lesbian anal
Lesbian bbw
Lesbian gangbang
Lesbian orgy
Lesbian seduction
Lesbian strapon
Lesbian teen
Lesbian toys
Lezdom
Librarian
Lick
Limousine
Lingerie
Lips
Lipstick
Lockerroom
Lollipop
Long hair
Long legged
Lotion
Lovely
Loves fuck
Lucky
Lustful

M
Machine fucking
Maid
Maledom
Married
Mask
Massage
Masseuse
Master
Masturbating
Mature
Mature amateur
Mature anal
Mature and teen
Mature asian
Mature bbw
Mature big tits
Mature fetish
Mature lesbian
Mature orgy
Mature swingers
Mature teacher
Melons
Messy
Messy facials
Mexican
Midget
Milf
Military
Milk
Miniskirt
Mirror
Miss
Missionary
Mistress
Mmf
Moaning
Mom
Monster cock
Monster tits
Morning
Mother in law
Mothers friend
Mouthful
Muff diving
Muscled

N
Nasty
Natural boobs
Natural pussy
Nature
Naughty
Needs
Neighbors
Nerdy
Nice
Nipples
Noisy
Nude
Nudist
Nun
Nurse
Nuru massage
Nylon
Nympho

O
Obese
Office
Oiled
Old farts
Old lady
Old man
Old woman
Old young
On her knees
On top
Open pussy
Oral
Orgasm
Orgy
Oriental
Outdoor

P
Pain
Pakistani
Pale
Panties
Pantyhose
Park sex
Party
Passion
Peaches
Peeing
Penetrating
Penis
Perky
Persian
Phone
Piano
Pierced nipples
Piercing
Pigtail
Piss drinking
Pissed on
Pissing
Pizza
Plumper
Police
Polish
Ponytail
Pool
Poor girl
Pornstar
Posing
Pov point of view
Pregnant
Pretty
Princess
Prison
Privat
Prostate
Prostitute
Public
Puffy nipples
Punished
Punk
Pussy
Pussy stretching
Pussy to mouth
Pussylips
Pussypump

Q
Quickie

R
Ranch
Raunchy
Ravage
Real doll
Reality
Receives
Rectal exam
Red bottom
Redhead
Retro
Revenge
Rich
Riding
Rimjob
Rocco
Romanian
Rough
Rubber
Russian
Russian amateur
Russian anal
Russian big tits
Russian fetish
Russian lesbian
Russian mature
Russian orgy
Russian swingers
Russian teen

S
Saggy tits
Sailor
Sandwich
Satin
Sauna
Scandinavian
Scissoring
Screaming
Secretary
Security cam
Seduce
See through
Session
Sex tape
Sexy
Shaved
Shaving
Shemale
Shoes
Shop
Short hair
Shorts
Shower
Shy
Silicone tits
Silk
Skank
Skinny
Skirt
Slave
Sleeping
Slim
Slut
Small cock
Small tits
Smile
Smoking
Snatch
Sniffing panties
Snowballing
Socks
Sofa sex
Softcore
Solo
Sologirl
Sons friend
Sorority
Spandex
Spanish
Spanked
Speculum
Sperm
Spit
Sports
Spreading
Spring break
Spy
Squirt
Stewardess
Stockings
Story
Stranger
Strap on
Stripper
Student
Stupid girl
Submissive
Sucking
Sunbathing
Super
Surprise
Swedish
Sweet
Swimsuit
Swinger
Swollen pussy
Sybian

T
Takes
Tall
Tan lines
Tanned
Tattoo
Teacher
Tease
Teen
Teen amateur
Teen anal
Teen and mature
Teen asians
Teen bbw
Teen big tits
Teen lesbians
Teen orgies
Teen swingers
Tennis
Tgirl
Thai
Thong
Threesome
Throat
Throat fucked
Throbbing
Tickling
Tied up
Tight
Tight pussy
Tiny tits
Tits
Titty fuck
Toes
Toilet
Tokyo
Tong
Toon
Topless
Toys
Trailer girl
Train
Tranny
Transsexual
Transvestite
Trib
Tricked
Trimmed pussy
Turkish
Twins
Two girls

U
Ugly
Uncle
Underwater
Underwear
Undressing
Uniform
University
Untrimmed
Upskirt
Used

V
Vagina
Vampire
Vegetable
Vibrator
Vietnamese
Vintage
Vip room
Virgin
Vixen
Voyeur

W
Waitress
Watersport
Webcam
Wedding
Wet
Wet t shirt
Whip
White
Whore
Wife
Wife swap
Wifes friend
Wild
Wine
Wired pussy
Workout
Worship
Wow
Wrapped bondage
Wrestling

X
Xmas

Y
Yacht
Yoga
Young

Amateur
Anal Fisting
Anal Sex
Anime
Arab
Asian
Ass to Mouth
Babysitter
Balloons
Bathroom
BBW
Beach
Behind the Scenes
Bi-Sexual
Big Ass
Big Cocks
Big Tits
Bikini
Black
Blonde
Blowjob
Bondage
Brazilian
British
Brunette
Camel Toe
Cartoon
Casting Couch
Celebrity
CFNM
Cheerleader
Chubby
Classroom
College
Compilation
Construction Worker
Cosplay
Cougar
Couples
Creampie
Cum Swapping
Cumshots
Deep Throat
Doggy Style
Double Blowjob
Double Penetration
Dressing Room
Dungeon
Emo
Ethnic
Face Sitting
Family Roleplay
Farm
Feet Cumshot
Feet Massage
Fingering
Fishnet Stockings
Food
Footjob
French
Gag
Gangbang
Gaping
Gay
German
Girlfriend Experience
Glamour
Glasses
Glory Hole
Goth
Granny
Group Sex
Gym
Hairy Pussy
Handcuffs
Handjob
Hardcore
High Heels
Homemade
Hospital
Hot Wax
Indian
Industrial
Interactive
Interracial
Italian
Jail
Japanese
Kissing
Kitchen
Korean
Lactating
Lap Dance
Latex
Latina
Leash
Leather
Lesbian
Library
Licking
Lingerie
Locker Room
Maid
Male Strap-On
Massage
Masturbation
Mature
Midget
MILF
Mini Skirt
Music Studio
Nurse
Office
Oil / Lotion
Outdoors
Panties (Other)
Parody
Party
Photo Studio
Police
Pool
Porn Studio
POV
Pregnant
Public Flashing
Punk
Pussy Fisting
Pussy Spreading
Redhead
Restaurant
Reverse Cowgirl
Russian
School
Scissoring
Shaved Pussy
Shaving
Short Shorts
Sixty-Nine
Skinny
Small Cocks
Small Tits
Smoking
Solo
Spanking
Spitting
Spreadeagle
Squirting
Stockings
Strap-On
Strip Club
Stripping
Swedish
Teen
Thai
Theater
Thong
Threesomes
Titty Fucking
Toys
Transsexual
Turkish
Uniform
Up-skirt
Vintage
Voyeur
Webcam
White
Probably

Yeah... some of them are the same... but still just look... look...
look ... count them for god sake... they are tooooo MUCH!


THE PORN INDUSTRY WANTS YOU IN...
WANTS TO BUY SEX PRODUCTS
TO FUCK PROSTITUTES
THE PORN INDUSTRY KNOWS THAT YOU WANT MORE AND MORE
MATERIAL THAT'S WHY THEY ARE PROVIDING 10000000000 VIDEOS
ONLINE AND ALSO ON DVD (THE EXCLUSIVE TYPE) ... WHILE YOU surf
ON THE INTERNET YOU COULD GET AROUND AD WHICH HAVE GOT A
NAKED WOMAN

...

AND IT CONTINUES...

THE INDUSTRY DOESN'T WANTS YOU OUT
YOUR FRIENDS PUT YOU IN
YOUR STRESS PUTS IN
BEING ALONE PUTS YOU IN

...

EACH FACTOR PUTS YOU IN

...

(Note: I am not talking bullshit... let's be honest... games are
stressful... doesn't it make you angry when you lose a couple of 1000
times?... by itself it leads to stress... anxiety (of not being good...) by
itself it makes in state "Let's Relief".)


 LET's SAY IT

For example your mother is angry and few days she is
home 24/7
...

and in that time

she shouts from 3 up to 4 hours.... 5 days...


...

She is going to create within ya... stress
...

Once that happen you start searching for a way to relief
yourself... SO most cases lead to ... watching explicit porn
...

...

By itself explicit porn... it leads to masturbating.

You can't just not masturbate... the first video won't trigger...
second too

...

3 - too, 4... but somewhere around 13 video... already your brain
craving for more and for more and for more and for more creative
ways to relapsing
...

If you ask me... do it for last time... take that pussy or whatever you
have... and do it






(Note: Nothing is really lovely in the pornographic world.

- Fake Expectations about life - That's what this whole thing is all
about







Chapter 1.1 - Too Much Porn (Part 1)

This is what porn does to your brain

By Melinda Carstensen

Figuring out the risk-to-benefit ratio of watching pornography may

just top the ranks of controversial topics that scientists can’t seem to
completely agree on. But one thing’s for sure: Americans like
watching porn — and lots of it.

According to the website Paint Bottle, 30 percent of all data

transferred online is porn. In a 2015 infographic, the porn site
detailed that 70 percent of men consume the content compared to
30 percent of women. And the number of people consuming porn is
rapidly increasing every week, according to the site.

After lawmakers in Virginia recently proposed legislation that aims

to implement greater restrictions on watching porn, Fox News talked
to three psychologists to learn more about what scientists know —
and don’t know — about the potential health effects of its
consumption.

How does porn affect the brain?

Studying porn and determining its health effects are tricky, experts
say. That’s because several parties — neurobiologists, psychologists,
sociologists and others — are weighing in on the topic, and their
methodologies and study cohorts can vary vastly.

“One big-picture question has to do with how confident one can be —

scientifically — that pornography consumption is causally related to
the various harms identified in the resolution,” Paul J. Wright, an
associate psychology, socialization and media use professor at
Indiana University Bloomington, told Fox News in an email. “To
answer this question, one would have to identify a philosophy of
cause that all agree to, standards for acceptable evidence, and then
engage in systematic reviews of the literature associated with each
hypothesized harm. In short, this would be a monumental effort,
and likely would still lead to some disagreement among scientists,
because although the promise of science is consensus, scientists
rarely 100 percent agree on anything.”

In their proposed legislation, Virginia lawmakers claim pornography

is “addictive,” promotes normalization of rape, may lessen the “desire
to marry,” and “equates violence with sex,” encourages “group sex,”
“risky sexual behavior” and infidelity, among other effects.

Dr. William Struthers, a psychology professor at Wheaton College, a

Christian liberal arts institution just west of Chicago, said that while
much of the legislation’s tenets “seem to be pretty reasonable,”
another challenge that researchers face is that technology is
outpacing scientific studies.

“Any kind of pornography research is incredibly muddy water,”

Struthers told Fox News. “A lot of the research being drawn on was
published 20 to 25 years ago, and that is very different from the
pornography that is being consumed by young people now. The
unfortunate truth is we can’t keep up with the pornography that is
being produced.”

Can you be addicted to porn?

When it comes to alcoholism, gambling and drugs, the answer is

clear: Addiction exists. Studies show a clear association between
those behaviors and alterations in brain chemistry, which is coupled
with physical withdrawal effects if the given behavior is restricted.
But “There really isn’t the science to demonstrate that porn is in and
of itself harmful and addictive,” Ian Kerner, a licensed
psychotherapist and sex counselor, told Fox News. “That has not
been, in my estimation, scientifically or clinically proven.”
Rather, Kerner argued, excessive porn viewing often presents as a
comorbidity with another health issue, like anxiety, depression or
bipolar disorder.

“When people get depressed, they may get lonely and tend to
masturbate,” he said. “If they’re having anxiety, the problem occurs
when the only way you know how to calm yourself is with
masturbation … in those cases, porn is the symptom, not the
problem.”

In fact, in Kerner’s experience, ethical, so-called feminist

pornography — which often features storylines, and always
contracted, paid adults having consensual sex — can enhance
couples’ sexual experiences by helping partners get warmed up and
be creative in the bedroom.

Perhaps counterintuitively, watching porn may also help keep some

relationships intact, he said.

“I know a lot of men who travel and are happy to masturbate to

porn rather than potentially pursue infidelity,” Kerner said. “When
there are natural libido gaps in a relationship — maybe one partner
is interested in sex more than the other partner, maybe one just had
a baby and can’t have sex, or maybe illness is involved — porn is
actually a really positive way to smooth over those libido gaps.”

As for adolescents consuming porn, the Virginia legislators argue

that the average age of exposure to porn is 11 to 12 — a stat that
certainly would scare any responsible parent, yet one which Kerner
argued, if true, suggests a deeper issue for discussion.

“If kids are learning about sex through porn, well, that’s not a
problem with porn — that’s a problem with a lack of proper sex
education,” he argued. “If we live in a country that teaches abstinence
only, the problem is there’s no competing script to porn.”

What don’t we know about porn?

And yet, experts like Struthers argue that basic psychological science
suggests frequent exposure to something like porn may indeed lead
to normalization of harmful behaviors.

“The more you’re exposed to something, the more you tend to see it
as acceptable, whether it’s violence, gambling or sexuality,” Struthers
said.

His concern, however, is the psychological effect that frequent

exposure may have on developing brains.

“I think the questions we really need to be asking are, ‘What are the
secondary effects that porn has, not in what they do for a person’s
sexual behavior, but does viewing porn influence our ability to detect
nonverbal nonconsensual sexual cues, or instrument objectivity?’”

Wright, the professor at Indiana University, who has conducted

research on porn’s potential influence on youths’ behavior,
speculated that most scientists in this area and at this level of debate
would agree with some of the lawmakers’ claims yet disagree with
others.

But he said one thing most would agree on is that more can be done.

“Is there enough suggestive evidence of harm in terms of compulsive

use and socialization toward attitudes and behaviors that most
people perceive as antisocial that scientists should support policy
efforts calling for further research, community and school education
programs, and programs aimed at the prevention of harmful
effects?” Wright said in an email. “I think the majority of scientists
familiar with the research in this area would say, ‘Yes.’”




....



How Porn Changes The Brain

Rewire itself. It triggers the brain to pump out chemicals and form
new nerve pathways, leading to profound and lasting changes in the
brain.

Believe it or not, studies show that those who consume pornography

more frequently have brains that are less connected, less active, and
even smaller in some areas. [1]

To be fair, the studies only show that there’s a correlation between

porn consumption and smaller, less active brains, but they raise the
question: Can porn literally change your brain?

Scientists used to believe that once you finished childhood, your

brain lost the ability to grow. [2] They thought that nothing except
illness or injury could physically alter an adult brain. Now we know
that the brain goes on changing throughout life, [3] constantly
rewiring itself and laying down new nerve connections, and that this
is particularly true in our youth. [4]

See, the brain is made up of about 100 billion special nerves called
neurons, [5] that carry electrical signals back and forth between
parts of the brain and out to the rest of the body. Imagine you’re
learning to play an E chord on the guitar: your brain sends a signal
to your hand telling it what to do. As that signal zips along from
neuron to neuron, those activated nerve cells start to form
connections because “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Those
newly-connected neurons form what’s called a “neuronal pathway.”
[6]
Think of a neuronal pathway like a trail in the woods. Every time
someone uses the trail, it gets a little wider and more permanent.
Similarly, every time a message travels down a neuronal pathway,
the pathway gets stronger. [7] With enough repetitions, your
neuronal pathway will get so strong you’ll be strumming that E
chord without even thinking about it. That process of building better,
faster neuronal pathways is how we learn any new skill, whether it’s
memorizing math formulas or driving a car. Practice makes perfect.

But there’s a catch. Your brain is a very hungry organ. It may only
weigh 2% of your body weight, but it eats up 20% of your energy
and oxygen, [8] so resources are scarce up there in your head. There’s
some pretty fierce competition between brain pathways, and those
that don’t get used enough will likely be replaced. [9] Use it or lose it,
as they say. Only the strong survive.

That’s where porn comes in.

Porn happens to be fantastic at forming new, long-lasting pathways

in the brain. In fact, porn is such a ferocious competitor that hardly
any other activity can compete with it, including actual sex with a
real partner. [10] That’s right, porn can actually overpower the
brain’s natural ability to have real sex! Why? As Dr. Norman Doidge,
a researcher at Columbia University, explains, porn creates the
perfect conditions and triggers the release of the right chemicals to
make lasting changes in the brain. [11]

Conditions

The ideal conditions for forming strong neuronal pathways are when
you’re in what scientists call “flow.” Flow is “a deeply satisfying state
of focused attention.” [12] When you’re in flow, you get so deep into
what you’re doing that nothing else seems to matter. [13] You’ve
probably experienced it before, playing a game or having a
conversation with friends or reading a great book. You were so
focused on what you were doing that you lost track of time, and
everything around you disappeared. You wanted it to keep going
forever. That’s flow.

When you’re in flow, it’s like you have superhuman abilities. Athletes
call it being “in the zone,” when you seem to do everything right.
Your focus is intense. Your memory is phenomenal. Years later, you’ll
still recall exact words of the conversation or details of what you
read.

Now imagine someone sitting in front of the computer at 3:00 in the

morning, looking at porn. That person is so absorbed in his or her
porn trance that nothing else can compete for the consumer’s
attention, not even sleep. This person is in the ideal condition for
forming neuronal pathways, and that’s what they are doing. Clicking
from page to page in search of the perfect image, not realizing that
every image seen is reinforcing the pathways the consumer is forging
in his or her brain. By now, those images are burned so deeply into
their mind that they will remember them for a long time to come,
maybe the entirety of their life.

Chemicals

Like other addictive substances and behaviors, porn activates the

part of the brain called the reward center, [14] triggering the release
of a cocktail of chemicals that give you a temporary buzz. [15]
(See How Porn Affects The Brain Like a Drug.) One of the chemicals in
that cocktail is a protein called DeltaFosB. [16]

Remember when we said that building neuronal pathways is like

making a trail in the woods? Well, DeltaFosB is like a troop of
mountaineers out there with picks and shovels, working like beavers
to groom the trail. With DeltaFosB floating around, the brain is
primed to make strong mental connections between the porn being
consumed by individuals and the pleasure they feel while consuming.
[17] Basically, the DeltaFosB is saying, “This feels good. Let’s be sure
to remember it so we can do it again.”

DeltaFosB is important for learning any kind of new skills, but it can
also lead to addictive/compulsive behaviors, [18] especially in
adolescents. [19] DeltaFosB is referred to as “the molecular switch for
addiction,” [20] because if it builds up enough in the brain, it switches
on genes that create long-term cravings, driving the user back for
more. [21] And once it has been released, DeltaFosB sticks around in
the brain for weeks or months, which is why porn consumers may
feel strong cravings for porn long after they’ve stopped the habit.
[22]

The good news is, neuroplasticity works both ways. If porn pathways
aren’t reinforced, they’ll eventually disappear, so the same brain
mechanisms that lay down pathways for porn can replace them with
something else. [23] If the time has come for you or someone you
love to begin that healing process, learn more about how to get help.


....






Many porn consumers find themselves getting aroused by things
that used to disgust them or things that they might have previously
considered to be inappropriate or unethical. As individuals consume
more extreme and dangerous sex acts, they gradually begin to feel
that those behaviors are more common and acceptable than they
really are.

As you’d probably guess, rats don’t like the smell of death.

But a researcher named Jim Faust wondered whether that instinct

could be changed, so he sprayed female rats with a liquid that
smelled like a dead, rotting rat. When he put them in cages with
virgin male rats, a strange thing happened. The drive to mate was so
powerful that it overcame the instinct to avoid the smell, and the
rats hit it off. Actually, that’s not so strange. The strange part was
what happened next.

Once the male rats had learned to associate sex with the smell of
death, Faust put them in cages with different objects to play with.
The male rats actually preferred to play with the object that smelled
like death, as if it were soaked in something they loved! [1]

We know what you’re thinking: “Now I know what I should have done
for my science fair project!” No, seriously, that’s pretty gross, right?
You’re probably wondering how rats could possibly be trained to go
against such a powerful natural instinct. Well, here’s how:

Rats, humans, and all mammals have something in their brain called
a “reward center.” [2] Part of the reward center’s job is to promote
healthy living by rewarding you when you do something that either
keeps you alive (e.g., eating) or creates a new life (e.g., sex), or
enriches your life (e.g. building satisfying relationships). [3] The way
it rewards you is by pumping a cocktail of “pleasure chemicals”
through your brain. [4] (See How Porn Changes The Brain.)

Those chemicals do more than make you feel great. While you’re
enjoying that good feeling, your brain is also building new nerve
pathways to connect the pleasure you’re feeling to the activity you’re
doing. [5] It’s the brain’s way of making sure that whatever you’re
doing, you’ll come back to it again. The association between the
activity and the “reward” happens automatically, even if you don’t
intend it, because “neurons that fire together, wire together.” [6]
(See How Porn Affects The Brain Like A Drug.)

The reward center is usually a pretty great thing, even if it didn’t

work out so well for those poor rats. Normally our brain attracts us
to healthy behaviors and encourages us to form life-supporting
habits. [7] But when those reward chemicals get connected to
something harmful, it has the opposite effect.

The same process that rewired those rats’ preferences—connecting

the pleasure they felt during sex to the stench of death—is triggered
in human brains by porn. Porn consumers may think they’re just
being entertained, but their brains are busy at work building
connections between their feelings of arousal and whatever’s
happening on their screen. [8] And since consumers of porn typically
become accustomed to the porn they’ve already seen and have to
constantly move on to more extreme forms of pornography to get
aroused, [9] the kind of porn consumed usually changes over time.
[10] (See Why Consuming Porn Is An Escalating Behavior.)

In a survey of 1,500 young adult men, 56% said their tastes in porn
had become “increasingly extreme or deviant.” [11] Just like the rats,
many porn consumers eventually find themselves getting aroused by
things that used to disgust them or things that they might have
previously considered to be inappropriate or unethical. [12] In many
cases, porn consumers find their tastes so changed that they can no
longer respond sexually to their actual partners, though they can
still respond to porn. [13]

Once consumers start viewing extreme and dangerous sex acts,

things that they thought were disgusting or degrading can start to
seem normal, acceptable, and more common than they really are.
[14] One study found that people exposed to significant amounts of
porn thought things like sex with animals and violent sex were twice
as common as what those not exposed to porn thought. [15] And
when people believe a behavior is normal, they’re more likely to try
it. [16]

Research has also found that watching pornography affects attitudes

and beliefs toward sex, women, and relationships. [17] Porn
consumers are more likely to express attitudes supporting violence
against women, [18] and studies have shown a strong correlation
between men’s porn consumption and their likelihood to victimize
women. [19] In fact, a 2015 peer-reviewed research study that
analyzed 22 different studies from 7 different countries concluded
that there is “little doubt that, on the average, individuals who
consume pornography more frequently are more likely to hold
attitudes [supporting] sexual aggression and engage in actual acts of
sexual aggression.” [20] (See How Consuming Porn Can Lead to
Violence.)

Obviously, not everyone who looks at porn is going to turn into a

rapist, but the reality is that even casual pornography
consumption has the power to change ideas and attitudes. [21] When
that happens, changes to behavior aren’t far behind. But spreading
the truth about the harmful effects of porn helps limit its influence.
Porn can corrupt our deepest, most basic instincts, but deep down at
that same instinctive level, we know and want what’s healthy. We
crave happiness and love. And every individual decision to focus on
real love and real relationships moves us back toward the robust,
natural lives we’re wired to pursue.


(Note: What's so good in this pictures?
...

watching explicit pornographic content, than going out, playing
games, reading a book,
watching tv, laughing, talking with your friends.)



...



Alot of people are convinced that there’s no such thing as an
addiction to porn. But science disproved the old belief that in order
to have an addiction to something it has to involve a substance that
is physically put into the body; like with cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs.
Excessive consumption of internet porn bears all of the signs, and
dangers, of a true addiction.

Is pornography addiction even a thing?

There’s an ongoing debate right now in the media, and even in
academic circles, over whether compulsive porn consumption is truly
an addiction. Part of the problem is simply that people don’t agree
on exactly what the word “addiction” means. [1] But Dr. Nora
Volkow, director of the United States’ National Institute on Drug
Abuse (NIDA), is convinced that porn addiction is real. She even
suggested changing NIDA’s name in order to recognize “addictions
such as pornography, gambling, and food.” [2]

In fact, research shows that of all of the forms of online

entertainment—like gambling, gaming, surfing, and social
networking—porn has the strongest tendency to be addictive. [3]

Doctors and scientists used to believe that in order to have an

addiction to something it has to involve a substance that is physically
put into the body; like with cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. [4] But once
scientists started to look inside the brain, it changed our
understanding of how addictions work. [5] What’s important, we now
know, is not necessarily what gets inside the body or how it got
there, but rather what reactions it triggers in the brain. Cigarettes,
alcohol, and drugs bring foreign chemicals into the body in a myriad
of ways: sniffed, injected, drunk from a glass, or lit on fire and
smoked. Porn and other behavioral addictions, like gambling, on the
other hand, bring no new chemicals or substances into the body that
weren’t already there. But, these behaviors initiate strikingly similar
processes inside the brain like substance addictions, and that’s what
makes them potentially addictive. They hijack the brain’s reward
pathways. [6] (See How Porn Affects the Brain Like a Drug.) That’s
what every addictive substance and habit do. [7]

Porn may enter through a different “how” and be a different “what,”

but it ultimately does the very same things. [8]

See, your brain comes equipped with something called a “reward

center.” [9] Its job is to motivate you to do things that protect and
promote your survival—things like eating to stay alive or having sex
to produce babies. [10] The way it rewards you for doing those things
is by flooding your brain with dopamine and a cocktail of other
“pleasure” chemicals each time you do. [11]

But your brain doesn’t always reward you for the right things. For
example, it produces higher levels of dopamine when you have
chocolate cake than it does for whole-wheat bread. [12] Why?
Because 3,000 years ago, high-calorie foods were really hard to
come by, so when our ancestors found them, they needed to eat a
whole bunch while they had the chance. [13] These days, a bag of
Oreos is only as far as the nearest supermarket. If we gorged on
them every chance we got, we’d have heart disease and a lot of
other health problems.

Porn is basically sexual junk food. When a person is looking at porn,

their brain is fooled into pumping out dopamine just as if they really
were seeing a potential mate. [14] Sure, filling your brain with feel-
good chemicals might sound like a great idea at first, but just like
with junk food, it’s more dangerous than it seems.

When porn enters the brain, it triggers the reward center to start
pumping out dopamine, which sets off a cascade of chemicals
including a protein called DeltaFosB. [15] DeltaFosB’s regular job is to
build new nerve pathways to mentally connect what someone is
doing (i.e. consuming porn) to the pleasure he or she feels. [16] Those
strong new memories outcompete other connections in the brain,
making it easier and easier to return to porn. [17] (See How Porn
Changes The Brain.)

But DeltaFosB has another job, and this is why its nickname is “the
molecular switch for addiction.” [18] If enough DeltaFosB builds up, it
flips a genetic switch, causing lasting changes in the brain that leave
the user more vulnerable to addiction. [19] For teens, this risk is
especially high because a teen’s reward center in the brain responds
two to four times more powerfully than an adult’s brain, releases
higher levels of dopamine and produces more DeltaFosB. [20]
Overloaded with dopamine, the brain will try to defend itself by
releasing another chemical called CREB [21] (It’s called CREB because
no one wants to have to say its real name: cyclic adenosine
monophosphate response element binding protein!) CREB is like the
brakes on a runaway reward center; it slows the pleasure response.
[22] With CREB onboard, porn that once excited a person stops
having the same effect. [23] Scientists believe that CREB is partly why
consumers have to keep increasing their porn intake to get aroused.
[24] That numbed-out state is called “tolerance,” and it’s part of any
kind of addiction. [25]

As porn consumers become desensitized from repeated overloads of

dopamine, they often find they can’t feel normal without a
dopamine high. [26] Even other things that used to make them
happy, like going out with friends or playing a favorite game, stop
providing enjoyment because of the dulling effects of CREB. [27] They
experience strong cravings and often find themselves giving more of
their time and attention to porn, sometimes to the detriment of
relationships, school, or work. [28] Some report feeling anxious or
down until they can get back to their porn. [29] As they delve deeper
into the habit, their porn of choice often turns increasingly hard-
core. [30] And many who try to break their porn habits report finding
it really difficult to stop. [31]

If this sounds like the classic symptoms of addiction, well….the head

of the United States’ National Institute on Drug Abuse agrees.



....











Frequent porn consumers usually need an ever-increasing dosage
over time in order to feel the same level of enjoyment, and they
often have to seek out more extreme and hard-core forms of porn.
Porn consumers can reach a point where they enjoy porn less and
less, but want it more and more.

Have you ever wondered how pornographers who charge for their
material stay in business when there’s so much porn available for
free? As Wendy Seltzer—an attorney and fellow at Yale Law School—
explained, the answer is actually pretty simple: once porn consumers
get hooked, they’ll want more and more. “Seeing [free porn] just
whets their appetite for more,” Seltzer said. “Once they get through
what’s available for free, they’ll move into the paid services.” [1]

How can pornographers be so sure? The answer is right there inside

the brain.

Like any potentially addictive substance, porn triggers the release of

dopamine into a part of the brain called the reward center (a.k.a.
reward pathway or system). [2] Basically, the reward center’s job is
to make you feel good whenever you do something healthy, like
eating a great meal, having sex, or getting a good workout. [3] The
“high” you get makes you want to repeat the behavior again and
again. [4] (See How Porn Affects The Brain Like A Drug.) Your brain is
hardwired to motivate you to do things that will improve your health
and chance of survival. [5] Simple.

Well…not quite so simple. Researchers have recently discovered that

the reward center is actually two different brain systems, a “Liking”
system and a “Wanting” system, that work in different—sometimes
opposite—ways. [6] Understanding how they work helps explain why
porn can be habit-forming and why consuming porn is often an
escalating behavior.
Liking

The “Liking” system is a tiny portion of the reward center. [7] It

provides the enjoyable feelings you get when you win a game, share
a kiss, or experience any natural, healthy reward. [8] Unfortunately,
it also lights up for counterfeit rewards like cigarettes, drugs, or
porn, which is why addictive substances feel enjoyable at first. [9]

When something activates your reward center and you feel that
intense high from the “Liking” system, your brain starts producing a
chemical called CREB. [10] CREB acts kind of like a set of brakes on
the reward system. [11] Normally it makes the pleasure fade and
leaves you feeling satiated and ready to get on with your life.
(See How Porn Can Become Addictive.)

But if the “Liking” system gets stimulated too much over time (as
often happens with drugs or porn), CREB levels build up until your
whole pleasure response goes numb. [12] Some researchers believe
that an excess of CREB is the reason addicts experience tolerance,
which means that they feel less enjoyment from the stimulant and
need to use more of it to reach a high. [13] In fact, too much CREB
floating around in your brain can dull the enjoyment of anything,
which may be why addicts often feel bored, detached, and
depressed. [14]

Wanting

The “Wanting” system is a much larger area in the reward center, and
it causes the brain to rewire itself in response to intense pleasure.
[15] With the help of a protein called DeltaFosB, the “Wanting”
system builds new brain connections so you can remember the
experience and repeat it later. [16] (See How Porn Changes The Brain.)

It’s called the “Wanting” system because those new nerve connections
make you crave the pleasurable experience. [17] The more often the
experience is repeated, the stronger those nerve connections become,
and the stronger the cravings grow. [18] DeltaFosB is sometimes
called “the molecular switch for addiction” because it reinforces
cravings and, if it builds up enough in the brain, it can switch on
genes that leave the consumer more vulnerable to addiction. [19]

DeltaFosB doesn’t just make you remember the pleasurable

experience itself; it also forms connections to details associated with
the experience. These associations (called “cues”) are found with all
kind of addictions. [20] For a smoker, a cue may be the smell of
cigarette smoke. An alcoholic may develop pathways triggered by
the sight of a bottle or the voice of a drinking buddy. Cues can be
anything the brain associates with the experience. For a porn
consumer, it may be the memory of a porn scene or a place or time
of day he or she can be alone with the internet. For an addict, the
whole world starts to seem like a collection of cues and triggers
leading them back to their addiction. [21] Gradually, the porn
pathways become sensitized, meaning they are easily triggered by
the cues that are all around. [22]

Wait! Didn’t we say that CREB dulls the nerves, making

them less sensitive? Now we’re saying that DeltaFosB makes them
more sensitive. Well, which is it?

Actually, both. Remember, we’re talking about two different brain

systems. With repeated exposure to porn, the “Wanting” system
grows more sensitive to the cues that cause cravings. At the same
time, the “Liking” system grows less sensitive to pleasure. That’s the
awful irony of any addiction: the user wants it more and more, even
while he or she likes it less and less. [23]

Porn is an escalating behavior because as some consumers develop

tolerance, the porn that used to excite them starts to seem boring.
[24] Predictably, they often try to compensate by spending more time
with porn and/or seeking out more hardcore material in an effort to
regain the excitement they used to feel. [25] Many porn consumers
find themes of aggression, violence, and increasingly “edgy” acts
creeping into their porn habits and fantasies. [26] But no matter
how shocking their tastes become, you can bet there will be
pornographers waiting to sell it to them.

If you are, or know someone who is, being pulled into more and
more porn, it’s not too late! It’s possible to quit porn and replace it
with healthy habits. The brain can start to heal, and consumers can
regain the ability to fully feel and enjoy their lives again. Thousands
already have.




....



It may be surprising, but porn affects the brain in ways very
similar to harmful substances, like tobacco. Studies have shown that
porn stimulates the same areas of the brain as addictive drugs,
making the brain release the same chemicals. And just like drugs,
porn triggers pathways in the brain that cause craving, leading users
back for more and more extreme “hits” to get high.

On the surface, tobacco and porn don’t seem to have much in

common. One is kept behind the counter at the gas station or
supermarket because of its well-known harmful effects; the other is
available virtually anywhere. One can quickly become an expensive
habit while the other comes free with an internet connection. And
let’s be honest, Hugh Hefner doesn’t exactly conjure images of a
secretive tobacco executive.

So where’s the similarity? Inside the brain.

In case you’re not a neurosurgeon, here’s a crash course in how the

brain works. Deep inside the brain, there’s something called a
“reward center.” [1] You’ve got one. Your dog’s got one. For
mammals, it comes standard. The reward center’s job is to release
“pleasure” chemicals into your brain whenever you do something
healthy, like eating tasty food, doing a hard workout, or enjoying a
kiss. [2] The “high” you get from that chemical rush makes you want
to repeat that behavior again and again. [3] Thanks to your reward
center, your brain is hardwired to motivate you to do things that will
improve your health and chances of survival. [4] It’s a great system…
normally.

The problem is, the brain can be tricked.

When addictive substances are used, they give the brain a “false
signal.” [5] Since the brain can’t tell the difference between the drugs
and a real, healthy reward, it goes ahead and activates the reward
center. [6] An important chemical called dopamine is released, which
makes the brain start developing a craving for the fake reward. [7]
As long as there’s a lot of dopamine floating around in the brain, the
cravings will keep getting stronger, and the consumer will feel super-
motivation to keep pursuing more of the drug. [8] Essentially,
addictive drugs hijack the brain, turning it around and forcing it in a
direction it was never meant to go. Instead of encouraging the
consumer toward healthy behaviors, drugs lead the consumer into
things that aren’t healthy at all, and can even be dangerous. [9]

Want to guess what else does that? Porn.

Researchers have found that internet porn and addictive substances

like tobacco have very similar effects on the brain, [10] and they are
significantly different from how the brain reacts to healthy, natural
pleasures like food or sex. [11] Think about it. When you’re munching
a snack or enjoying a romantic encounter, eventually your cravings
will drop and you’ll feel satisfied. Why? Because your brain has a
built-in “off” switch for natural pleasures. “Dopamine cells stop
firing after repeated consumption of a ‘natural reward’ (e.g. food or
sex),” explains Nora Volkow, Director of The National Institute of Drug
Abuse. [12] But addictive drugs go right on increasing dopamine
levels without giving the brain a break. [13] The more hits drug users
take, the more dopamine floods their brain, and the stronger their
urges are to keep using. That’s why drug addicts find it so hard to
stop once they take the first hit. “[O]ne hit may turn into many hits,
or even a lost weekend.” [14]

What else has the power to keep pumping dopamine endlessly into
the brain? You guessed it: porn.

Scientists have long known that sexual interest and performance can
be increased simply by introducing something new—like a different
sexual position, a toy, or a change of partner. [15] That’s because the
brain responds to new sexual stimuli by pumping out more and more
dopamine, flooding the brain just like a drug would. [16] And “new”
is exactly what internet porn sites provide: an endless stream of fresh
erotic images delivered at high speed, in vivid color, 24/7. Before
consumers even start to get bored, they can always give themselves
another dopamine boost just by clicking on something different,
something more stimulating and hardcore than before. [17]

In fact, porn consumption follows a very predictable pattern that’s

eerily similar to drug use. Over time, excessive levels of “pleasure”
chemicals cause the porn consumer’s brain to develop tolerance, just
like the brain of a drug user. [19] In the same way that a junkie
eventually requires more and more of a drug to get a buzz or even
feel normal, regular porn consumers will end up turning to porn
more often or seeking out more extreme versions—or both—to feel
excited again. [20] And once the porn habit is established, quitting
can even lead to withdrawal symptoms similar to drugs. [21]

....




Chapter 1.2. - Too Much Porn (Part 2)

15 Scientifically Explained Reasons Why Porn Isn’t Healthy For

Viewers Or Society

Portrait of sad young woman looking at the mobile phone screen in

total darkness at her homePortrait of sad young woman looking at
the mobile phone screen in total darkness at her home

Just like it took decades for society to believe the science that
proved that smoking cigarettes was harmful, we are learning a
similar lesson with porn in our world today. And since we’re an
awareness campaign, first and foremost, we’re all about getting
these facts into the light.

With all this new information gathered from research and scientific
studies, it is time for society to accept that pornography is harmful.
Science and research are showing us how porn harms the brain,
damages relationships, and negatively affects society as a whole.

Here are just fifteen reasons why porn is anything but harmless
entertainment. If you’d like to learn and read more in-depth about a
specific reason, and see more empirical sources on the issue, click the
image associated with each one. After all, knowledge is power in this
fight against porn.

1. Porn Can Change & Rewire Your Brain

Believe it or not, studies show that those of us who make more

frequent use of pornography have brains that are less connected, less
active, and even smaller in some areas. [1] Thanks to modern
science, now we know that the brain goes on changing throughout
life, [2] constantly rewiring itself and laying down new nerve
connections, and that this is particularly true in our youth. [3]

There’s some pretty fierce competition between brain pathways, and

those that don’t get used enough will likely be replaced. [4] Use it or
lose it, as they say. Only the strong survive.

That’s where porn comes in.

Porn happens to be fantastic at forming new, long-lasting pathways

in the brain. In fact, porn is such a ferocious competitor that hardly
any other activity can compete with it, including actual sex with a
real partner. [5] That’s right, porn can actually overpower your
brain’s natural ability to have real sex! Why? As Dr. Norman Doidge,
a researcher at Columbia University, explains, porn creates the the
perfect conditions and triggers the release of the right chemicals to
make lasting changes in your brain. [6]



2. A Porn Habit Can Escalate Into Twisted Territory

Like any potentially addictive substance, porn triggers the release of

dopamine into a part of the brain called the reward center (a.k.a.
reward pathway or system). [7] Basically, the reward center’s job is
to make you feel good whenever you do something healthy, like
eating a great meal, having sex, or getting a good workout. [8] The
“high” you get makes you want to repeat the behavior again and
again. [9] (See Why Porn Is Like a Drug) Your brain is hardwired to
motivate you to do things that will improve your health and chance
of survival. [10]

Porn is an escalating behavior because as some users develop

tolerance, the porn that used to excite them starts to seem boring.
[11] Predictably, they often try to compensate by spending more time
with porn and/or seeking out more hardcore material in an effort to
regain the excitement they used to feel. [12] Many users find themes
of aggression, violence, and increasingly “edgy” acts creeping into
their porn habits and fantasies. [13] But no matter how shocking
their tastes become, you can bet there will be pornographers waiting
to sell it to them.

3. Porn Can Be Addictive

Research shows that of all the forms of online entertainment—like

gambling, gaming, surfing, and social networking—porn has the
strongest tendency to be addictive. [14]

When porn enters the brain, it triggers the reward center (like we
talked about before) to start pumping out dopamine, which sets off
a cascade of chemicals including a protein called DeltaFosB. [15]
DeltaFosB’s regular job is to build new nerve pathways to mentally
connect what you’re doing (i.e. the porn you watch) to the pleasure
you feel. [16] Those strong new memories outcompete other
connections in the brain, making it easier and easier to return to
porn. [17] (See How Porn Changes The Brain.)

As porn users become desensitized from repeated overloads of

dopamine, they often find they can’t feel normal without a
dopamine high. [18] Some report feeling anxious or down until they
can get back to their porn. [19] As they delve deeper into the habit,
their porn of choice often turns increasingly hard-core. [20] And
many who try to break their porn habits report finding it “really
hard” to stop. [21]

If this sounds like the classic symptoms of addiction, well….the head

of the United States’ National Institute on Drug Abuse agrees. [22]
4. Porn Can Heavily Affect Your Sexual Tastes

The reward center (like we’ve talked about before) is usually a pretty
great thing. Normally, our brain attracts us to healthy behaviors and
encourages us to form life-supporting habits. [23] But when those
reward chemicals get connected to something harmful, it has the
opposite effect.

Porn users may think they’re just being entertained by sexually

explicit content, but their brains are busy at work building
connections between their feelings of arousal and whatever’s
happening on their screen. [24] And since porn users typically
become accustomed to the porn they’ve already seen and have to
constantly move on to more extreme forms of pornography to get
aroused, [25] the kind of porn a user watches usually changes over
time. [26] (See Porn is an Escalating Behavior.)

In a survey of 1,500 young adult men, 56% said their tastes in porn
had become “increasingly extreme or deviant.” [27] Just like the rats,
many porn users eventually find themselves getting aroused by
things that used to disgust them or that go against what they think
is morally right. [28] In many cases, porn users find their tastes so
changed that they can no longer respond sexually to their actual
partners, though they can still respond to porn. [29]

Once users start watching extreme and dangerous sex acts, things
that were disgusting or morally shameful can start to seem normal,
acceptable, and more common than they really are. [30] One study
found that people exposed to significant amounts of porn thought
things like sex with animals and violent sex were twice as common as
what those not exposed to porn believed. [31] And when people
believe a behavior is normal, they’re more likely to try it. [32]

5. Porn Can Affect Your Brain (Similar To A Drug)

Researchers have found that Internet porn and addictive substances
like tobacco have very similar effects on the brain, [33] and they are
significantly different from how the brain reacts to healthy, natural
pleasures like food or sex. [34] Think about it. When you’re munching
a snack or enjoying a romantic encounter, eventually your cravings
will drop and you’ll feel satisfied. Why? Because your brain has a
built-in “off” switch for natural pleasures. “Dopamine cells stop
firing after repeated consumption of a ‘natural reward’ (e.g. food or
sex),” explains Nora Volkow, Director of The National Institute of Drug
Abuse. [35] But addictive drugs go right on increasing dopamine
levels without giving the brain a break. [36] The more a drug user
hits up, the more dopamine floods his brain, and the stronger his
urges are to keep using. That’s why drug addicts find it so hard to
stop once they take the first hit. “[O]ne hit may turn into many hits,
or even a lost weekend.” [37]

What else has the power to keep pumping dopamine endlessly into
the brain? If you’ve ever sat in front of a computer screen for hours
in a porn trance, you already know the answer.

(Note: Nothing is really sexy... in staying in dark room... and

masturbating like crazy BASTARD.)


6. Porn Can Damage Your Sex Life

Doctors are seeing an epidemic of young men who, because of their

porn use, can’t get an erection with a real, live partner. [38]

Study after study has shown that porn is directly related to problems
with arousal, attraction, and sexual performance. [39]. Porn leads to
less sex and to less sexual satisfaction within a relationship. [40]
Researchers have shown a strong connection between porn use and
low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble reaching orgasm. [41]
Many frequent porn users reach a point where they have an easier
time getting aroused by Internet porn than by having actual sex with
a real partner. [42] One recent study even concluded that porn use
was likely the reason for low sexual desire among a random sample
of high school seniors. [43] Who ever heard of that? Low sexual
desire among high school seniors!

This trend of sex problems is especially serious for teens and young
adults. Their brains are particularly vulnerable to being rewired by
porn, [44] and they are in a period where they are forming crucial
attitudes, preferences, and expectations for their future. [45]

7. Porn Is Full Of Lies

Sex is natural and normal. Porn is something entirely different.

Make no mistake, porn is a product. Pornographers have a lot to

gain by driving traffic to their sites, so they dress up their product to
grab your attention. That “dressing up” is exactly what makes porn
so unnatural.

Professional porn actors have a whole team of people to make every

detail look perfect, from directing and filming to lighting and
makeup, maybe even a plastic surgeon or two to thank. With some
careful editing, a typical 45 minute porn flick that took three days to
shoot can appear to have happened all at once, without a break.
Film the right bodies from the right angles at the right moments, edit
out all the mistakes, Photoshop away any imperfections, add a
catchy soundtrack, and you have something most definitely NOT like
“natural” sex with “normal” people.

Porn also makes it look like no matter what a man does, the woman
likes it even though so many of the sex acts shown in porn are
degrading, painful or violent. And these are just a couple of
the countless lies porn sells.
8. Porn Can Damage Love

Research shows that pornography use is linked to less stability in

relationships, [46] increased risk of infidelity, [47] and greater
likelihood of divorce. [48] Men who are exposed to porn find their
partners less sexually attractive and rate themselves as less in love
with their partners. [49] A recent study tracked couples over a six
year period, from 2006 to 2012, to see what factors influenced the
quality of their marriage and their satisfaction with their sex lives.
The researchers found that of all the factors considered, porn use
was the second strongest indicator that a marriage would suffer. [50]
Not only that, but the marriages that were harmed the most were
those of men who viewed porn heavily, once a day or more. [51]

Why do porn users struggle so much in real life relationships? The

science is pretty clear.

Research shows that porn users report less love and trust in their
relationships, are more prone to separation and divorce, and often
see marriage as a “constraint.” [52] Overall, they are less committed
to their partners, [53] less satisfied in their relationships, [54] and
more cynical about love and relationships in general. [55] They also
have poorer communication with their partners and are more likely
to agree that, in their own relationships, “little arguments escalate
into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name-calling, and
bringing up past hurts.” [56]

And if all that weren’t enough, porn also ruins a couple’s sex life. [57]


9. Porn Can Leave You Lonely

“The more one uses pornography, the more lonely one becomes,”
says Dr. Gary Brooks, a psychologist who has worked with porn
addicts for the last 30 years. [58] “Any time [a person] spends much
time with the usual pornography usage cycle, it can’t help but be a
depressing, demeaning, self-loathing kind of experience.” [59] The
worse people feel about themselves, the more they seek comfort
wherever they can get it. Normally, they would be able to rely on the
people closest to them to help them through their hard times—a
partner, friend, or family member. But most porn users aren’t exactly
excited to tell anyone about their porn habits, least of all their
partner. So they turn to the easiest source of “comfort” available:
more porn.

10. Porn Can Hurt Your Partner

Studies have shown that most women—even if they believe that

pornography use is okay for other people—see no acceptable role for
porn within their own committed relationship. [60] And no wonder!
The evidence that porn can harm relationships and partners is
overwhelming. [61]

The fact is, porn reshapes expectations about sex and attraction by
presenting an unrealistic picture. In porn, women always look their
best. They are forever young, surgically enhanced, airbrushed, and
Photoshopped to perfection. [62] So it’s not hard to see why,
according to a national poll, six out of seven women believe that
porn has changed men’s expectations of how women should look.
[63]

As writer Naomi Wolf points out, “Today real naked women are just
bad porn.” [64]

11. Porn Can Warp A Healthy View Of Sex

While porn is often called “adult material,” many of its viewers are
well under the legal age. [65] In fact, the majority of teens are
getting at least some of their sex ed from porn, whether they mean
to or not. [66]

Researchers are finding that porn’s influence can and does find its
way into teenager’s sexual behaviors. [67] For example, people who
have seen a significant amount of porn are more likely to start
having sex sooner and with more partners, to engage in riskier kinds
of sex that put them at greater risk of getting sexually transmitted
infections, and to have actually contracted an STI. [68]

Sociologist Dr. Michael Kimmel has found that men’s sexual fantasies
have become heavily influenced by porn, [69] which gets awfully
tricky when their partners don’t want to act out the degrading or
dangerous acts porn shows. [70] As a result, men who look at
pornography have been shown to be more likely to go to prostitutes,
[71] often looking for a chance to live out what they’ve seen in porn.
[72] In one survey of former prostitutes, 80% said that customers
had shown them images of porn to illustrate what they wanted to
do. [73]

12. Porn Is Inseparably Linked To Prostitution & Sex Trafficking

Defenders of pornography make the argument all the time, that no

matter how a woman is treated in porn, it’s okay because she gave
her consent. [74] In some cases it’s obvious when victims haven’t
given consent, like when child pornography and human trafficking
are involved. Pimps and sex traffickers often use porn to initiate their
victims into their new life of sexual slavery, [75] and then they force
their victims to participate in making new porn. [76]

The point is, when you watch porn, there’s no way to know what
kind of “consent” the actors have given. You can’t assume, just
because someone appears in a porn video, that they knew
beforehand exactly what would happen or that they had a real
choice or the ability to stop what was being done.
“I’ve never received a beating like that before in my life,” said
Alexandra Read after being whipped and caned for 35 minutes. “I
have permanent scars up and down the backs of my thighs. It was all
things that I had consented to, but I didn’t know quite the brutality
of what was about to happen to me until I was in it.” [77]

We’re not claiming that all porn is non-consensual. We’re just

pointing out that some of it is and some of it isn’t, and when you
watch it there’s no way to know which is which.

So, would you buy from a company if you knew that some, but not
all, of their products were made with child labor? Would you support
a store that abused some, but not all, of their female employees?

How can it be ethical to say that “porn is okay because participants

give their consent,” when we know for a fact that some—probably
much more than you think—do not?

13. Porn Can Seriously Hurt Your Family & Personal Life

Study after study has shown that porn viewers are less stable in their
relationships [78] and have higher rates of infidelity [79] and divorce.
[80] They are also less committed to their partners; [81] less satisfied
in their relationships, [82] and more cynical about marriage, love,
and relationships in general. [83]

All of those factors can gradually eat away at the love, trust, and
mutual respect at the core of any relationship. But porn has other
effects that are not nearly so subtle, like the humiliation,
abandonment, and betrayal that someone feels when their spouse’s
porn habit is discovered. [84] (See How Porn Can Hurt Your Partner)
Even if they don’t consider it technically cheating, it’s hard not to feel
some sense of betrayal at learning their spouse has been using
someone else’s body to get aroused. [85]
14. Porn Is Connected To Violence

Not all porn features physical violence, but even non-violent porn
has been shown to have effects on viewers. The vast majority of porn
—violent or not—portrays men as powerful and in charge; while
women are submissive and obedient. [86] Watching scene after scene
of dehumanizing submission makes it start to seem normal. [87] It
sets the stage for lopsided power dynamics in couple relationships
and the gradual acceptance of verbal and physical aggression
against women. [88] Research has confirmed that those who watch
porn (even if it’s nonviolent) are more likely to support statements
that promote abuse and sexual aggression toward women and girls.
[89]

But porn doesn’t just change attitudes; it can also shape actions. In
2016, a team of leading researchers compiled all the research they
could find on the subject. [90] After examining twenty-two studies
they concluded that the research left, “little doubt that, on the
average, individuals who consume pornography more frequently are
more likely to hold attitudes conducive [favorable] to sexual
aggression and engage in actual acts of sexual aggression.”

15. Porn Is Changing To Be More Shocking & Hardcore Than Ever

As Internet porn grew more popular; it also turned darker, more

graphic, and more extreme. With so much porn available,
pornographers tried to compete for attention by constantly pushing
the boundaries. [91] “Thirty years ago ‘hardcore’ pornography
usually meant the explicit depiction of sexual intercourse,” writes Dr.
Norman Doidge, a neuroscientist and author of The Brain That
Changes Itself. “Now hardcore has evolved and is increasingly
dominated by the sadomasochistic themes … all involving scripts
fusing sex with hatred and humiliation.” [92] In our post-Playboy
world, porn now features degradation, abuse, and humiliation of
females in a way never before seen in the mass media. [93]
“[S]oftcore is now what hardcore was a few decades ago,” Doidge
explains. “The comparatively tame softcore pictures of yesteryear …
now show up on mainstream media all day long, in the pornification
of everything, including television, rock videos, soap operas,
advertisements, and so on.” [94]

Technology has changed not only the content of the porn young
people watch, but also how, when, and at what age they watch it. By
the time they turn 14 years old, two out of three boys in the U.S.
have viewed porn in the last year, [95] and many are watching it on
devices they have with them 24 hours a day. Wow. How can any of
this be healthy?

​How Porn Kills Love

Sure, porn is fake, but what’s wrong with a little harmless fantasy?
The problem is, porn isn’t harmless at all. Studies show that viewing
porn makes consumers more critical of their partner and less
satisfied with their romantic relationship and sex life. Not only does
porn impact romantic relationships, but porn influences the ways
individuals view themselves, as well their friends, family members,
and others around them. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, porn
also changes the ways that individuals view the hobbies and passions
they used to love!

Porn looks like a newer, slicker version of love. Love 2.0. It’s like love,
but easy, fast, and cheap.

In porn, finding a “partner” is effortless. He or she is always ready,

willing, and longing for your attention. This partner has nothing else
to do with their time but wait for the consumer, breathless and
perpetually aroused. He or she is young, attractive, sexually
adventurous, and anxious to please. This partner will never get bored
or annoyed, never have an “off” day or need a listening ear. In fact,
all he or she will ever want is wild, ecstatic orgasms that look real!
And if this porn-partner ever fails to keep the consumer entertained,
they can simply be exchanged with the click of a computer mouse. [1]

Sure, it’s all fake, but advocates of porn say, “So what? What’s wrong
with a little harmless fantasy?” The problem is, it’s not harmless. The
problem is that internet pornography has a number of unique
properties, such as limitless novelty, on-demand accessibility, and
easy escalation to more extreme material, that can condition
someone’s sexual arousal to aspects of pornography consumption
that do not readily transition to real-life partners. As this happens,
real life sex may not register as meeting expectations, and arousal
declines.

Maybe that is why counselor’s offices and divorce courts are filling
up with couples who have found that, in reality, porn is killing love in
their romantic relationships.

An increasing number of couples in therapy report that pornography

is causing difficulties in their relationships. [2] Research shows that
pornography consumption is linked to less stability in relationships,
[3] increased risk of infidelity, [4] and greater likelihood of divorce.
[5] While this applies to men and women, studies have found that
men who are exposed to porn find their partner less sexually
attractive and rate themselves as less in love with their partner. [6] A
recent study tracked couples over a six year period, from 2006 to
2012, to see what factors influenced the quality of their marriage
and their satisfaction with their sex lives. The researchers found that
of all the factors considered, porn use was the second strongest
indicator that a marriage would suffer. [7] Not only that but the
marriages that were harmed the most were those of individuals who
viewed porn heavily, once a day or more. [8]

But it’s not just married couples who are harmed by porn. Unmarried
couples in romantic relationships who view pornography together
experience twice the rate of infidelity as couples where partners
watch it individually and alone, and three times more than couples
who don’t watch porn at all. [9] A recent study of romantically
involved people (most of whom were not married) found that those
who used porn frequently were most likely to have lower satisfaction
and intimacy in their relationship. [10]

Why do porn consumers struggle so much in real life relationships?

The science is pretty clear.

Research shows that porn users report less love and trust in their
relationships, are more prone to separation and divorce, and often
see marriage as a “constraint.” [11] Overall, they are less committed
to their partners, [12] less satisfied in their relationships, [13] and
more cynical about love and relationships in general. [14] They also
have poorer communication with their partners and are more likely
to agree that, in their own relationships, “little arguments escalate
into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name-calling, and
bringing up past hurts.” [15]

And, as if that’s not enough, porn also ruins a couple’s sex life. [16]
(See How Porn Damages Your Sex Life.)

But is this just a “chicken and egg” scenario? Is porn really damaging
relationships, or are people turning to porn because they’re in
relationships that are already suffering?

Probably both, according to Dr. Ana Bridges, a psychologist at the

University of Arkansas. [17] When a couple hits a rough patch, one
partner may use porn for distraction or relief, and their partner may
be hurt by their porn use because it makes them feel unattractive
and insecure, like he or she is being compared to porn performers
and the fantasy of porn. [18] The hurt partner may pull away
emotionally, which might make the porn-consuming partner feel
more distant, so he or she deals with their stress by turning to more
porn, and round and round they go. (See How Porn Hurts A
Consumer’s Partner.)

No wonder many partners of porn users end up depressed, anxious,

and feeling like they can never measure up to the impossible
standard of porn. [19] (See How Porn Can Hurt Your Partner.) The
truth is, they have good reason to worry. In porn, mistakes are
edited out and flaws are Photoshopped away. Porn actors have a
whole team there to make them look fantastic, and once their best
performance is captured on film, it never ages. Who wants to
compete with that? [20]

Regardless of how a consumer’s romantic relationship is being

impacted by porn, as human beings, we interact with different
people daily, in a number of ways. One of the dangers of porn is that
it can distort the way a consumer sees people, causing him or her to
see friends, family members, coworkers, or strangers on the street
only as a sum of body parts, discarding their humanity. [21]
Essentially, porn tells consumers that people are objects with the sole
purpose of providing sexual satisfaction, and that’s unhealthy for
relationships, romantic or otherwise. [22]

Not long ago, Princeton psychologists performed a study showing a

group of men pictures of men and women, some barely clothed and
some not. The psychologists monitored their medial prefrontal
cortex (mPFC), which is involved in recognizing human faces and
distinguishing one person from another. For the most part, the mPFC
was activated with each picture. However, when the subjects of the
study were shown the pictures of scantily clothed people, it was not
activated. [23] Basically, the automatic reaction in their brains
suggested that they didn’t perceive the sexualized people as fully
human. Just as a body, a sum of parts.

Obviously, porn is not the best representation of how real men and
women look or how real sex and intimacy work in a real-life
relationship. And yet, whether they realize it or not, porn consumers
are affected by the portrayals they see in porn even after the
browser window is closed. [24]

While it may not always be “romantic love,” porn can kill love in
friendships, relationships with family members, and others in porn
consumer’s lives. And it doesn’t stop there, porn also has the
potential to kill the love consumers have for themselves. Ultimately,
this often leaves porn consumers feeling lonely. [25]

There is a healthy amount of love every individual has for themselves

that promotes good self-esteem, confidence, and overall a positive
quality of life. Since porn depicts men and women as being nothing
more than sex objects, porn consumers can start to subconsciously
think of themselves that way, as nothing more than sex objects. [26]
Because it can be hard to reach out to friends and family to explain
how they are feeling and how they are struggling with porn, many
people turn to the easiest source of immediate “comfort” available:
more porn. This can lead to a vicious cycle of isolation and self-
loathing. [27]

As a porn consumer finds himself or herself further down this cycle,

an isolating porn habit can lead consumers to skip out on interacting
with friends, trying new hobbies or participating in old ones, and
ultimately connecting with the people in their lives. [28] This is all
because consumers’ brains have become so reliant on porn that it can
start to make them think they will be happier watching porn than
participating in those real-life experiences. [29]

Breaking free of this cycle, reaching out for help, finding support,
and establishing healthy forms of intimacy in one’s life can eliminate
the poor self-esteem caused by porn. Many people who have broken
free of a porn habit have reported greater happiness, better self-
esteem, improved mental health, and happier relationships.

“I can see beauty in so many different forms now... real forms. I'm
back at composing music, studying, my grades have boosted, have
way more energy... I take more care of myself, exercise… When I
meet a girl now, sex is not my goal. There's no goal. The present is
the only goal, so a cool conversation, or maybe just a flirty smile can
make my day.

23 YEAR OLD MALEAFTER 2 MONTHS OF QUITTING PORN

CONSUMPTION [30]

Who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t want a healthy amount of

love and respect for himself or herself that is free from porn’s
isolating and harmful effects? Who wouldn’t want a healthy view of
potential romantic partners and relationships in general? Real love
requires real commitment to real people, including yourself.
Choosing real love over porn gives people greater freedom and
control to decide what they really want to do with their time and
energy. Instead of someone sitting in front of a computer for hours,
consuming a product that can isolate and damage their
relationships, they can focus on reality. Keeping porn out of your life
gives you the freedom and time to try that new sport you have been
interested in, take that class that sounds really interesting, travel to
a new place with family members, invest in friendships, or find the
one you want to spend time loving and growing old with—the real
way. Real life, and real life-giving experiences have so much more to
offer than porn ever will.





Why This Matters

All of these issues show why we’re raising awareness and shining a
light on the immense, measurable harms of porn. Don’t fall into the
trap of believing that porn is harmless entertainment that has no
effect on individuals or society. Get educated and fight against an
industry that is tangibly harming individuals, relationships, and
society. We deserve better than what porn has to offer. We deserve
real love, untainted by the toxicity of pornography. Join this global
fight for love and become a Fighter








....




How Porn Damages Consumers’ Sex Lives

According to research and personal accounts, instead of increasing

sexual enjoyment, porn often leads to less satisfying sex in the long
run and, for many porn consumers, no sex at all.

Porn promises a virtual world filled with sex—more sex and better
sex. What it doesn’t mention, however, is that the further a porn
consumer goes into that fantasy world, the more likely their reality
is to become just the opposite. [1] Porn often leads to less sex and
less satisfying sex. [2] And for many consumers, porn eventually
means no sex at all. [3]

How? Well, it starts in the brain.

You see, your brain is full of nerve pathways that make up what
scientists call your “brain map.” [4] It’s kind of like a hiking map in
your head, with billions of tiny overlapping trails. These pathways
connect different parts of your brain together, helping you make
sense of your experiences and control your life.

When you have a sexual experience that feels good, your brain starts
creating new pathways to connect what you’re doing to the pleasure
you’re feeling. [5] Essentially, your brain is redrawing the sexual part
of your map so you’ll be able to come back later and repeat the
experience. [6] (See How Porn Affects The Brain Like a Drug ). The
same thing happens the first time someone consume’s porn. The
porn consumer’s brain starts building new pathways in response to
this very powerful new experience. [7] It’s saying, “This feels great!
Let’s do this again.”

But here’s the catch: brain maps operate on a “use it or lose it”
principle. [8] Just like a hiking trail will start to grow over if it’s not
getting walked on, brain pathways that don’t get traffic become
weaker and can even be completely replaced by stronger pathways
that get more use.

As you might expect, consuming porn is a very powerful experience

that leaves a strong and lasting impression in the brain. (See How
Porn Changes The Brain.) Every time someone consumes porn—
especially if they heighten the experience by masturbating—the part
of the brain map that connects arousal to porn is being
strengthened. [9] Meanwhile, the pathways connecting arousal to
things like seeing, touching, or cuddling with a partner aren’t getting
used. Pretty soon, natural turn-ons aren’t enough, and many porn
consumers find they can’t get aroused by anything but porn. [10]
How bad is the problem? Put it this way: doctors are seeing an
epidemic of young men who, because of their porn use, can’t get it
up with a real, live partner. [11]

Thirty years ago, when a man developed erectile dysfunction (ED), it

was almost always because he was getting older, usually past 40. As
his body aged it became more difficult to maintain an erection. [12]
Chronic ED in anyone under 35 was nearly unheard of. [13] But those
were the days before internet porn. These days, online message
boards are flooded with complaints from porn users in their teens
and 20s complaining that they can’t maintain an erection. [14] They
want to know what’s wrong with their body, but the problem isn’t in
the penis—it’s in the brain. [15]

Study after study has shown that porn is directly related to problems
with arousal, attraction, and sexual performance. [16]. Porn leads to
less sex and to less sexual satisfaction within a relationship. [17]
Researchers have shown a strong connection between porn use and
low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and trouble reaching orgasm. [18]
Many frequent porn users reach a point where they have an easier
time getting aroused by internet porn than by having actual sex with
a real partner. [19] One recent study even concluded that porn use
was likely the reason for low sexual desire among a random sample
of high school seniors. [20] Who has ever heard of that? Low sexual
desire among high school seniors!

This trend of sexual problems is especially serious for teens and

young adults. Their brains are particularly vulnerable to being
rewired by porn, [21] and they are in a period where they are
forming crucial attitudes, preferences, and expectations for their
future. [22]

Young people imitate what they see in porn, and when teens learn
about sexuality from porn, they are in danger of adopting the
misleading, harmful biases embedded there. [23] Many teens never
have the chance to learn what a healthy relationship is like before
porn starts teaching them its version—which is typically filled with
domination, infidelity, abuse, and violence. [24] Since most people
aren’t too excited about entering a relationship with someone who
has attitudes like that, teens who get their sex ed from porn often
find that they struggle to connect with real romantic partners. [25]

Fortunately, the brain is a resilient organ. The sexual dysfunction

caused by porn can be reversed, [26] and a brain map can be rewired
to work well again once porn is out of the picture. [27]



....



Why porn porn is full of lies?

they have sex—is a fantasy. Porn consumers often become so

obsessed chasing the fantasy that they miss out on actual love and
relationships.

Back in the 1950s, two researchers named Tinbergen and Magnus

played a trick on butterflies. [1] After figuring out which marks on
female butterfly wings were most eye-catching to males, the
researchers created their own cardboard butterfly models. They
exaggerated the patterns on the wings to make them brighter and
flashier than would ever be found in nature. Essentially, they created
the world’s first butterfly supermodels.

And the male butterflies fell for it. They went straight for the
cardboard mock-ups and tried to mate with them. Ignoring the real
female butterflies that were right there in plain sight, the males gave
all their attention to the exaggerated pictures. [2] Sound familiar?

Like the duped butterflies, porn consumers can get so obsessed

chasing flashy fantasies that they miss out on real life and real
relationships. Call it the first great lie of porn:

PORN LIE #1

You can have it both ways; you can enjoy the immediate gratification
of thousands of virtual sex partners and the long-term satisfaction
of a real relationship.

The truth is, porn often takes a heavy toll on real-life relationships.
[3] When they discover that their loved-one is using porn, many
partners feel shocked, rejected, abandoned, humiliated, and
betrayed. [4] (See How Porn Hurts A Consumer’s Partner.) The idea
that “porn is a personal decision that affects no one else” is simply
wrong.

But even if your partner has no problem with porn, it can still
damage your relationship. Studies have clearly shown that porn
erodes a person’s ability to love and feel loved with a real partner.
[5] When men are exposed to porn, they rate themselves as less in
love with their actual partners, [6] and less satisfied with their
relationships and sex lives. [7] They become more critical and
dissatisfied with their partner’s appearance, sexual performance,
sexual curiosity, and displays of affection. [8] Ironically, porn is
directly related to problems with attraction, arousal, and sexual
performance, [9] as well as lower sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and
difficulty reaching orgasm. [10] (See How Porn Damages Consumers’
Sex Lives.)

One recent study examined men who used internet porn compulsively
and found that, in 11 out of 19 subjects, porn consumption had
lowered their sex drive and/or ability to maintain erections in
physical relationships with real women. [11] Oddly enough, those
men were still able to respond sexually to porn. [12] Like Tinbergen’s
butterflies, porn can leave people preferring internet porn over an
actual partner. [13] Chances are, your partner is not okay with that.
PORN LIE #2

Porn is just watching people have sex—what could be more natural

and normal than that?

Actually, sex is natural and normal. Porn is something entirely

different.

Make no mistake, porn is a product. Pornographers have a lot to

gain by driving traffic to their sites, so they dress up their product to
grab your attention. That “dressing up” is exactly what makes porn
so unnatural.

Professional porn performers have a whole team of people to make

every detail look perfect, from directing and filming to lighting and
makeup, maybe even a plastic surgeon or two to thank. With some
careful editing, a typical 45-minute porn flick that took three days
to shoot can appear to have happened all at once, without a break.
Film the right bodies from the right angles at the right moments, edit
out all the mistakes, Photoshop away any imperfections, add a
catchy soundtrack, and you have something most definitely NOT like
“natural” sex with “normal” people. You end up with something more
“cardboard” than “butterfly.”

PORN LIE #3

Porn is just an innocent distraction and a harmless pastime.

Leading relationship experts, Doctors John and Julie Gottman have

expressed serious concern about the effects of pornography on
couple relationships. They explain, “Pornography may be just such a
supernormal stimulus. With pornography use, much more of a
normal stimulus may eventually be needed to achieve the response a
supernormal stimulus evokes. In contrast, ordinary levels of the
stimulus are no longer interesting. This may be how normal sex
becomes much less interesting for porn users. The data supports this
conclusion. In fact, use of pornography by one partner leads the
couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship
satisfaction.”

Once a person is aware of the damage they are doing to themselves,

(See How Porn Changes the Brain) their loved ones (See How Porn
Hurts A Consumer’s Partner,) and society (See How Porn Fuels Sex
Trafficking), using porn can hardly be called harmless or innocent.

PORN LIE #4

Porn is a safe way to learn about sex.

This lie is especially troubling because many young porn consumers

really do rely on the warped fantasy of porn to form their ideas and
expectations about sex. [14] That’s scary for a lot of reasons. Young
people who consume porn often expect their partners to act out
what they’ve seen, even if it’s painful, degrading, or dangerous. [15]
They tend to believe that what they see in porn is normal and
acceptable, even as their tastes in porn grow more extreme over
time. [16] (See How Porn Affects Sexual Tastes.) And as people adopt
the unrealistic standards of porn, they end up feeling bad about
themselves [17] and dissatisfied with their partners. [18]

Learning about sex from porn also means absorbing a lot of

dangerous ideas about sexuality and women. [19] (See How Porn
Warps Ideas About Sex.) Amateur porn, which claims to be more
natural and real, actually teaches the same attitudes and reproduces
the same false stereotypes as professionally produced porn—
sometimes worse! [20]

Ultimately, porn doesn’t deliver the satisfaction and healthy

enjoyment it promises. [21] It leads to damaged relationships,
disappointment, and isolation. [22] (See Why Porn Leaves Consumers
Lonely.) Tinbergen’s butterflies were simply reacting to instinct when
they were fooled by the “supermodel decoys,” but humans are not
victims of their evolution. You can choose to recognize porn for the
deception it is. You can reject porn’s lies and choose real life, real
relationships, and real love.



(Note: Nothing is really enough.)



Porn promises immediate satisfaction, endless excitement, and
easy intimacy, but in the end, it robs the consumer of all three. The
more pornography an individual consumes, the more he or she tends
to withdraw emotionally from real people and rely on porn.
Eventually, it becomes more difficult to be aroused by a real person
or to form a real relationship, and the resulting isolation and
loneliness fuel the need for more porn.

Author and political activist Naomi Wolf has traveled all over the
United States talking with college students about relationships.
“When I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on
audiences of young men and young women alike,” she says. “They
know they are lonely together … and that [porn] is a big part of that
loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out.” [1]

But what does porn have to do with loneliness?

“The more one uses pornography, the more lonely one becomes,”
says Dr. Gary Brooks, a psychologist who has worked with porn
addicts for the last 30 years. [2] “Anytime [a person] spends much
time with the usual pornography usage cycle, it can’t help but be a
depressing, demeaning, self-loathing kind of experience.” [3] The
worse people feel about themselves, the more they seek comfort
wherever they can get it. Normally, they would be able to rely on the
people closest to them to help them through their hard times—a
partner, friend, or family member. But most porn consumers aren’t
exactly excited to tell anyone about their porn habits, least of all
their partner. So they turn to the easiest source of “comfort”
available: more porn.
“When one partner uses porn at a high frequency,” explains
researcher Dr. Ana Bridges, “there can be a tendency to withdraw
emotionally from the relationship.” [4] That’s partly because porn
consumption causes the brain to rewire itself to connect sexual
arousal with porn’s fantasies, [5] (see How Porn Changes The Brain)
making it more difficult for the consumer to become aroused by a
real person in a real relationship. [6] (See How Porn Damages
Consumers’ Sex Lives.)

According to Bridges, as a porn consumer withdraws from his or her

relationships, they experience “increased secrecy, less intimacy and
also more depression.” [7] Studies have found that when people
engage in an ongoing pattern of “self-concealment,”—which is when
they do things they’re not proud of and keep them a secret—it not
only hurts their relationships and leaves them feeling lonely, but also
makes them more vulnerable to serious psychological issues. [8] For
both male and female porn consumers, their habit is often
accompanied by problems with anxiety, body-image issues, poor
self-image, relationship problems, insecurity, and depression. [9]

That may be one reason why porn consumers struggle so much in

their closest relationships. Studies have consistently shown that porn
consumers tend to feel less love and trust in their marriages. [10]
They also experience more negative communication with their
partners, feel less dedicated to their relationship, have a harder time
making adjustments to their partner, enjoy less sexual satisfaction,
and commit more infidelity. [11] Meanwhile, spouses of porn
consumers report decreased intimacy in their marriages and a feeling
of being less understood by their porn-consuming partners. [12]
Relationship experts, Doctors John and Julie Gottman explain, “there
are many factors about porn use that can threaten a relationship’s
intimacy [which] for couples is a source of connection and
communication between two people. But when one person becomes
accustomed to masturbating to porn, they are actually turning away
from intimate interaction.”
A second reason porn consumers struggle with relationships is
because of the nature of porn itself. Porn portrays both men and
women as little more than bodies with a single purpose, to give and
receive sexual pleasure. [13] Whether porn consumers like it or not,
those perceptions often start creeping into how they see themselves
and other people in real life. [14] The harder it becomes for users to
see themselves and others as anything more than sexual objects, the
harder it is to develop and nurture real relationships. [15]

“There’s a certain way of experiencing sexual arousal that is the

opposite of closeness,” Brooks says. “At best, it can be managed
somewhat by some people, but most of the time it creates a barrier
that poisons relationships.” [16] The Gottmans go on to explain,
“when watching pornography the user is in total control of the
sexual experience, in contrast to normal sex in which people are
sharing control with the partner. Thus a porn user may form the
unrealistic expectation that sex will be under only one person’s
control… the relationship goal of intimate connection is confounded
and ultimately lost.”

Porn promises immediate satisfaction, endless excitement, and easy

intimacy, but in the end, it robs a consumer of all three.

The kind of intimacy porn offers is nothing more than sexual

titillation. Real intimacy offers so much more. Real intimacy is a
world of satisfaction and excitement that doesn’t disappear when the
screen goes off. It’s the breathtaking risk of being vulnerable with
another human being. It’s inviting them not just into your bedroom,
but into your heart and life. Real intimacy is about what we give, not
just what we get. It’s other-centered, not self-centered. Intimacy is
understanding someone at a level porn never attempts, and having
the life-altering experience of having them listen—really listen—to
you in return. It’s seeing yourself through other eyes, and caring
about others as much as you care about yourself. It’s the astonishing,
baffling, wonderful experience that artists and philosophers have
been trying to describe ever since our lonely human tribe began.
It’s the opposite of loneliness. It’s love.




The Porn Industry’s Dark Secrets

(Note: You should be sick... if abusive turns you on... )

Would you support a business if you knew that they abused some
(but not all) of their female employees? Pornographers don’t want
you to think about it, but even if some of the humiliation,
degradation, and sexual violence you see in porn is consensual, some
is not.

I got the &*%$ kicked out of me …. Most of the girls start crying
because they’re hurting so bad …. I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit
and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They kept
filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept going.

REGAN STARRFORMER PORN ACTOR [1]

In the spring of 2004, during the American occupation of Iraq, the

world was shocked to learn that US soldiers were abusing prisoners
in Abu Ghraib. Hundreds of leaked photos showed Iraqi prisoners
being made to crawl on the floor wearing leashes, wear panties on
their heads, masturbate for the camera, touch other men’s naked
bodies, and even more degrading behaviors that we are not
comfortable mentioning here. What horrified the public was not only
the human rights violations themselves, but the fact that the soldiers
recorded the abuse with obvious glee. In many of the photos, soldiers
grinned and flashed a “thumbs up” to the camera as they stood over
their victims. After an investigation, several soldiers were
dishonorably discharged from the military and others served time in
prison for what they had done at Abu Ghraib. [2]

That same year, pornographers video-recorded and photographed

thousands of women enduring nearly identical treatment and worse.
Those images were published on the internet and viewed by millions
of porn consumers. There was no public outcry.

Comparing porn to what happened in Abu Ghraib will ruffle some

people’s feathers. A knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Those are totally
different! In porn, women give their consent!”

But do they? Do we know for sure that anyone in any porn content
gave their consent? Defenders of pornography make this argument
all the time, that no matter how a woman is treated in porn, it’s
okay because she gave her consent. [3] But what if she didn’t? What
if she really didn’t want to be painfully dominated, humiliated, and
sexually used for the world to see? The truth is, there’s often much
more going on than what you see on the screen. That is, perhaps, the
porn industry’s biggest, darkest secret: it’s not all consensual.

There is a tendency to believe that “human trafficking” refers to a

Third World problem: forced prostitution or child pornography rings
in some far-off, developing country. The truth is, sex trafficking is
officially defined as a “modern-day form of slavery in which a
commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which
the person induced to perform such an act is under the age of 18
years.” [4] That means anyinstance in which the individual on screen
was forced, tricked, or pressured. By that definition, human
trafficking is everywhere. [5] (See How Porn Fuels Sex Trafficking.)

The examples are chilling. In 2011, two Miami men were found guilty
of spending five years luring women into a human trafficking trap.
[6] They would advertise modeling roles, then when women came to
try out, they would drug them, kidnap them, rape them, videotape
the violence, and sell it to porn stores and businesses across the
country.
That same year a couple in Missouri was charged with forcing a
mentally handicapped girl to produce porn for them by beating,
whipping, suffocating, electrocution, drowning, mutilating, and
choking her until she agreed. One of the photos they forced her to
make ended up on the front cover of a porn publication owned by
Hustler Magazine Group. [7]

So sure, you could say the handicapped girl “agreed” to participate.

You could argue that the women voluntarily responded to an ad. But
do you really think those victims gave their consent? We all know
that’s not real consent, that’s coercion.

In porn, the question of consent can be tricky (and the growing

phenomenon of amateur porn makes it even trickier). For example, if
one of the participants doesn’t know there’s a camera running, then
the porn is not consensual, even if the sex is. Right? What if a person
consented to be filmed, but not to have the film shown to anyone
else? What if someone manipulated their partner into being filmed in
the first place, like making him or her worry that they’d blackmail
them if they didn’t cooperate? Or what if a person agreed to have
sex, but in the middle, their partner suddenly started doing
something that the person who initially gave consent didn’t expect?
Did he or she still give consent?

The point is, when you consume porn, there’s no way to know what
kind of “consent” the actors have given. You can’t assume, just
because someone appears in a porn video, that they knew
beforehand exactly what would happen or that they had a real
choice or the ability to stop what was being done.

“I’ve never received a beating like that before in my life,” said

Alexandra Read after being whipped and caned for 35 minutes. “I
have permanent scars up and down the backs of my thighs. It was all
things that I had consented to, but I didn’t know quite the brutality
of what was about to happen to me until I was in it.” [8]

Did you catch what Alexandra said there? “It was all things that I
had consented to.” That’s the problem with treating consent like it’s
“all-or-nothing.” She consented to do X. She didn’t consent to do X,
Y, and Z².

We’re not claiming that all porn is non-consensual. We’re just

pointing out that some of it is and some of it isn’t, and when you
watch it there’s no way to know which is which.

So, would you buy from a company if you knew that some, but not
all, of their products were made with child labor? Would you support
a store that abused some, but not all, of their employees?

How can it be ethical to say that “porn is okay because participants

give their consent,” when we know for a fact that some—probably
much more than you think—do not?





Chapter 2 - Insights

Insights

"I can totally relate to ‘wanting to watch 10 videos all at once,

streaming at the same time...’ It's amazing to hear someone else say
it. It's like this sensory overload, or hoarding, or just overstuffing
yourself with your favourite junk food."



...



"It also goes without saying that an attraction to transgender
people, an interest in being dominated, and any number of other
things, can form part of a durable and happy sexual identity. The
problem is in the effects of porn on the brain, not in any particular
aspect of human beings' astonishing diversity in matters of desire."


...


"I'm tired of hearing, ‘You like what you like’ from people. A lot of
the things I look at I don't like. I just can't get off to the normal stuff
anymore. I never thought I'd wank to girls pissing on each other –
and now it doesn't do it for me anymore. Sexuality is tricky and I
think we've only begun to look at the effects that internet porn has
on human beings. All of us are test subjects and from what I've read
over and over, people are noticing changes."

...

 "(Day 46) For the last three days I have felt that strong, natural
sexual attraction to real women while out and about. I just naturally
notice a woman's figure and it turns me on without me having to
think about it. Duh, that's how it's supposed to work! Damn, it's
amazing how porn screws you up! My penile sensitivity has been off
the charts, too. I honestly don't remember ever feeling like this.
*
I'm known as the ‘unrealistic-high-standards-on-chicks’ guy among
my friends, yet I hardly score. After 40 days, I'm approaching more
girls than ever, not only for their looks, but the way they are and
what they talk about. Before, girls weren't special. They were ‘just
ok’."

"In the past I noticed beauty, of course, but never FELT a DESIRE
to be with a girl. I directed all my sex drive toward porn. Everything
sexual for me WAS porn. I could never think about me, this guy with
this cock, having real sex with a real girl. Now, I feel like sex is the
most natural thing to do. ‘Hell yeah it's possible for me to have sex.
Hell yeah there's a lot of girls out there wanting to have it with me!’
Suddenly, self-defeating thoughts seem so stupid and time-wasting.
I finally feel what most males feel. And it's awesome."



Chapter 3 - Shit

The more deeper I start diving into the topic the more insane it gets.
Pornography it's not just really only pornography...

1) It uses Coercion (Which is psychologic mind control, so the angency

could benefit from them.)

2) Yeah we know the story

"It's great life."

- U Express yourself by participating in adult movie.

- The truth is that you have role, but what in porn is safed.. . From
the public eye that most porn stars are sex SLAVES, they are doing
that job because they are forced.

- Sounds like a piece out of one those crime docs, or TV Series... like
Blacklist, Criminal Minds. But this isn't "Action"... it's the face of
reality. By watching porn you are just taking part in sex traffic,
without even knowing. Everything looks good, feels good... it's like a
drug.

3) Behind

- But behind this deep corners there is more crazier than ever.

* Make Up Crew
* Photo editing
* Video Editing
* Social Engineering

And Much... much more.

...

4) Sex

- Sex in pornography is expressed as pleasure...

...

But deep down ...

Around the moans, groans it's forced

...

1.1 Do you know about micro expressions.. .

Just take a look at a video there are some expressions which you
can't fix... they say too much.

(Note: It could be wrong theory or not... but nothing is certain. -

DeYtH Banger.)

...

5) Being Horny

- It makes you to do crazy stuff

* Sucking Horse dick (Which it's fucked up.)

* Ending with wrong image about yourself
* Feeling guilty (Come on... who da fack enjoys whole sack of shit on
the body or legs... face...? - It's fucking screw up to thing that.)

* The more you watch - the more you desire. - It's horrendous!
* Your last time won't be really yours - Sex industry is going to force
you to come back and back... in it's spider web.
- "I don't want you out."... - You are goods from which I can profit.

You did that relapse... HOW IN FUCKING HELL DID IT HELP?

...

- You are more depress

- You ain't social
- You desire screw up shit
- You are more violent (Mainly because you see violence as a door of
pleasure... by itself... pleasure should be good = violenice is Good.)
- Screw Up sexual fantasies

By now no positives...
...

Don't go on the internet and watch hours of pornographic

compilation... don't watch motivation to jerk off... you are JUNKIE
you need medcs.



Chapter 4 - Let's Make It (Your fantasies are corrupted)

So yeah if you are thinking that you are gay, let me tell you
something... you are not... what you want is just because of
pornographic material. It ruins your waint of envisioning things.


For example this is way more cooler



E.G.















(Note: So yeah you are male... (aka boy), which means you
shouldn't have fantasy of doing gay shit...

YOU SHOULD HAVE FANTASIES ABOUT FUCKING GIRLS... NOT
REALLY IN A GRUESOME AND ABUSIVE WAY, BUT HAVING SEX WITH
FEMALE... MALE FUCKS FEMALE... FEMALE HAVE SEX WITH MALE... -
THAT'S REALITY. )



...

When you are gay... you think that you are female... and ... let's say
something like shemale fetish...


...

you don't see the real picture... you see yourself like that

...

BUT THE TRUTH IS

...


(P.S. - I want to vomit... what type of shit you are... just look...
just look what's so sexy in


this


I mean ... if you have sex with male... few things you can do


1) Suck a cock (aka getting cumshot)
2) Fucking the ass (aka... the place from which poop comes out...)
3) Mouth kissing (Ughhhhhhhh)


...

So that's all

nothing sexual in this at all... being a gay... highers the chances of
early suicide...





(NOTHING SEXUAL AT ALL IN THIS... it's one of the most fucked
fetish... - One person could have)


Chapter 4.1 - Too Much More (Part 3)

How Porn Fuels Sex Trafficking

In a worldview of slavery, society generally agrees that it

is inhumane and degrading, and most people are astonished that

there have been times in history where slavery was accepted as
normal and acceptable. Somehow, still, many people are accepting
of a form of modern-day slavery: human sex trafficking. And while
many people claim to be opposed to human sex trafficking, what
many don’t know is that the demand for human sex trafficking is
fueled by pornography and the porn industry.

Though no one knows its true origins, The Willie Lynch Letter declares
itself over three-hundred years old. [1] According to the story,
Virginia colonists in 1712, unable to control their slaves, reached out
to a slave owner named Willie Lynch for help. “Your invitation
reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies,” he
responds, “where I have experimented with some of the newest, and
still the oldest, methods for control of slaves.” The letter is
essentially a slavery instruction manual—how to “break” slaves, how
to organize, brainwash, and set them against one another to make
them easier to subject.

Despite questions about its authenticity, [2] the letter has found its
way into everything from Hollywood scripts to political speeches,
and from college reading lists to Hip-Hop albums. It’s as if the letter
takes all of the objectification, dehumanization, and inhumanity in
the worldview of slavery and encapsulates them in just a few short
pages. “We will use the same basic principle that we use in breaking
a horse,” the letter explains. “What we do with horses is that we
break them from one form of life to another; that is, we reduce them
from their natural state in nature.”

Whether or not the letter is real, it seems noteworthy that when

Corey Davis, a New York pimp, was arrested by federal investigators
in December of 2006, a copy of The Willie Lynch Letter was sitting in
his Mercedes. Other titles on Mr. Davis’ reading list included The 48
Laws of Powerand Whoever Said Whoring Wasn’t Easy?

The books weren’t the only things seized. Investigators also took his
$91,000 watch, the Timberland boots he used to stomp girls when
they didn’t obey (pimps call it “timming”), and of course, the tee shirt
Davis was wearing when he was arrested. It said, “The Beatings Will
Continue.” [3]

Why would a modern New York pimp be reading a 300-year-old set

of instructions for how to break a slave? Considering the degree of
intimidation, coercion, brainwashing, and violence that that
accompanies sex trafficking today, it makes a lot of sense.

How bad is the problem of modern-day sex trafficking?

Sex trafficking activists occasionally have to defend their use of the

word “slavery.” [4] Some people don’t believe the sex trafficking
problems we have today rise to a level that would merit such an
emotionally charged word. Others feel the word somehow
romanticizes the problem. In fact, believe it or not, arguing about the
word “slave” is just one small part of the larger debate about sex
trafficking, especially in the United States. Some people question
whether the problem is really as bad, or as big, or as widespread, as
the reports make it sound. [5] Others question the motives of the
abolitionists and human rights activists on the front lines of the
fight. [6]

Here at Fight the New Drug, we know sex trafficking is a huge global
problem and that this modern form of slavery is inherently,
inseparably linked to the problem of pornography. Because this is an
underground issue numbers are harder to come by, but if anything,
the numbers reflecting what is actually happening around the globe
are bigger than what has been reported. And isn’t even just one
person being trafficked, one too many?

Our goal is to give you the facts, so consider this your one-stop read
to learn all the basics about sex trafficking and its relationship to
porn. Then you’ll and have the information you need to draw
conclusions and join the conversation about how porn fuels sex
trafficking.

What is sex trafficking?

The legal definitions get technical, but sex trafficking is a type

of human trafficking, and human trafficking is exactly what it sounds
like: trafficking in humans. If “trafficking” means buying and selling
things, or moving things so they can be used for profit, then “human
trafficking” means buying or selling humans, or moving humans so
they can be used for profit. It’s the purest form of objectification—the
literal commoditization of a person.

Whether you knew it or not, chances are very good that, at some
point in your life, you have eaten fruit that was picked by a slave,
worn a shirt that was made by a slave, used a device that was
partially produced by a slave, or stood in a building that was built by
a slave. Estimates of the number of slaves worldwide are between 21
and 32 million. [7] The vast majority of them come from vulnerable
populations like immigrants, refugees, the impoverished, and
children. They may be forcibly taken or lured away with promises of
good jobs, only to find themselves powerless, in a foreign place, with
nowhere to turn. Often they owe money to the people—the
traffickers—who brought them. Traffickers will hold the debt over
their heads, confiscate their immigration papers, threaten them with
legal action or deportation, threaten them or their families with
violence, and even inflict violence if the victims do not place
themselves in servitude. The traffickers are often the only ones
around who speak the victims’ language, and the victims find
themselves in a foreign land, cut off from home or help. Working in
these circumstances, they earn an estimated $150 billion every year
for their abusers in all kinds of industries and settings, from factories
and farms to hotels and brothels—even in the United States. [8]

Of those millions of global human trafficking victims, a little less

than a quarter—about 22 percent—are trafficked for sex acts. (Those
22 percent earn a whopping 66 percent of the global trafficking
profits! [9]) That’s what sex trafficking is: the roughly 22 percent of
human trafficking wherein the victims are exploited for sexual
purposes.

Now, before we go any further, we know what you’re thinking. This is

the part where most people start visualizing the Hollywood version
of sex trafficking: young boys and girls kidnapped or tricked in some
Third World or Eastern European country, kept in chains and forced
to perform in black market pornography, or to work as prostitutes in
some massage parlor, seedy motel, or other makeshift brothel—or
boys and girls from the same backgrounds, smuggled into the United
States and abused in similar ways.

And yes, those stories do exist. They’re not just real; they’re closer to
home than you imagine. Just read the way one police raid of a quiet
little house in a middle-class New Jersey suburb was described in the
New York Times:

On a tip, the Plainfield police raided the house in February 2002,

expecting to find illegal aliens working an underground brothel.
What the police found were four girls between the ages of 14 and
17. They were all Mexican nationals without documentation. But
they weren’t prostitutes; they were sex slaves. The distinction is
important: these girls weren’t working for profit or a paycheck. They
were captives to the traffickers and keepers who controlled their
every move. … The police found a squalid, land-based equivalent of
a 19th-century slave ship, with rancid, doorless bathrooms; bare,
putrid mattresses; and a stash of penicillin, ”morning after” pills and
misoprostol, an antiulcer medication that can induce abortion. The
girls were pale, exhausted and malnourished. [10]
Those are the types of situations most people envision when they
hear the phrase, “human sex trafficking.” And you can see why
filmmakers would gravitate to that version. It’s viscerally disturbing.
Most people would be shocked just to learn that a scene like that
was possible right in the heart of a modern American suburb.

But here’s the thing: if that “Hollywood” version is all you know
about sex trafficking, then you’re only seeing one part of a much
more complex picture. Many Hollywood depictions, and even many
of the examples of sex trafficking in this article, represent situations
where women and girls were victims, but it’s important to note that
men and boys are also victims of human sex trafficking and part of
this bigger, more complex picture. And to understand that picture,
you have to understand the TVPA.

What is the TVPA and why is it important?

In the year 2000, in response to reports of international human

trafficking, one of the broadest bipartisan coalitions in history came
together to pass the Trafficking Victims Protection Act, or TVPA. [11]
The landmark legislation identified “severe forms” of human
trafficking, imposed harsh criminal penalties for offenders, and
provided support systems for the victims. [12]

The TVPA defines sex trafficking as a situation in which “a

commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which
the person induced to perform such act has not attained 18 years of
age.” [13] It was designed in response to internationalsex trafficking
like the New Jersey example we just described, but it had an
interesting result. It ended up shining a light on everyform of sex
trafficking in the United States. Here’s how one article described the
effect:

One positive blowback of the T.V.P.A. was that it brought attention to

domestic sex trafficking—pimping—which follows the same models
and patterns as its international counterparts. “The logic was: if you
get weepy-eyed about a young girl in Cambodia, why not feel the
same way about the girl trafficked from Iowa?” [14]

Remember Corey Davis? The pimp with the slavery manual in his
Mercedes? His victims weren’t smuggled from other countries. They
weren’t held in servitude by complicated immigration situations or
kept constantly imprisoned by armed guards. They were Americans.
At various times in their ordeals, they were physically free to come
and go. Davis kept them in servitude through a combination of fraud,
physical violence, and psychological intimidation to the point that
they felt they had no choice but to obey. [15] Another pimp who was
prosecuted under the TVPA had victims ranging from a twelve-year-
old runaway to a university coed on a track scholarship. [16] By
identifying the practices that constitute human trafficking, the TVPA
brought attention to all instances of trafficking, regardless of where
the victims were from.

But there’s more. Look again at the TVPA’s definition of sex

trafficking: “a commercial sex act induced by force, fraud, or
coercion.” That last word, coercion, is important. It means that a
commercial sex act can be sex trafficking, even if no one was
physically assaulted, even if no one was tricked or defrauded. All it
takes is coercion. The moment a victim is coerced or intimidated into
a commercial sex act against his or her will, sex trafficking has
occurred.

Once again, this aspect of the TVPA cast new light on all the little
forms of pimping and exploitation that might otherwise fly under the
radar. An individual bullies their spouse into prostituting themselves.
Trafficking. A boyfriend or girlfriend pressures their partner into
stripping on a live webcam show and then threatens to show the
partner’s family and friends if they don’t do it again. Trafficking. A
porn performer shows up on set to discover that the scene is much
more degrading than they’d been told, and their agent gets them to
go through with it by threatening to cancel their other bookings.
Again: trafficking.
And this is where the connections to pornography begin.

How is sex trafficking connected to pornography?

I was in California and I had a blowjob scene. […] I go there and he’s
like, “Oh yeah, it’s a forced blowjob,” And I’m like, “What?” Just one
guy, one little camera on a tripod. […] I was scared. I was terrified. I
didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I could tell him no. Or the
fact that we already recorded 15 minutes of it, if I could just f—ing
leave. Then what? That’s when I understood that’s how rape victims
feel. Like, they feel bad about themselves. [17]

There are all kinds of connections, big and small, between

pornography and sex trafficking. There are incidental connections,
like the fact that exposure to pornography has been shown to make
viewers less compassionate toward victims of sexual violence and
exploitation.[18] (See How Consuming Porn Can Lead To Violence.)
There are “supply-and-demand” connections: the simple fact that
pornography—especially when viewing habits and fantasies involve
violence or other fetishes—increases the demand for sex trafficking,
as more and more viewers want to act out what they see. There is
the “training manual” connection: the well-documented fact that
porn directly informs what goes on in trafficking. Traffickers and sex
buyers get ideas from porn, and then make their victims watch as a
way of showing them what they’ll be expected to do, so that the
violent fantasy concocted by some porn director and his or her actors
becomes the reality for some trafficking victim. [19] And then there is
the risk factor connection: the fact that, along with poverty and
substance abuse, a child growing up in a home where pornography is
regularly consumed is far more likely to be trafficked at some point
in his or her life. [20]

But what’s the biggest, most surprising connection between

pornography and trafficking? It’s this: they’re often the same thing.
We can spend hours and hours pointing out these cause-and-effect,
symbiotic relationships between trafficking and porn. Those
connections are real, and that’s an important conversation to have.
But let’s not allow that to entrench the idea that porn and sex
trafficking are always separate. Far more often than people realize,
they’re not.

How are sex trafficking and porn the same thing?

To begin with, nearly half of sex trafficking victims report that

pornography was made of them while they were in bondage. [21]
The victim is not going to turn to the camera and announce they are
being trafficked, and these images and videos make their way onto
mainstream porn sites, where they are indistinguishable. In fact, even
if the victim does register their distress, it’s still impossible to know,
because rape and abuse-themed porn have now become
mainstream. One female survivor, whose captor slept on top of her
at night so she wouldn’t escape, watched her through a hole when
she went to the bathroom, and listened to her phone calls with a gun
pointed at her head, was forced to appear in a video that made the
Sinclair Intimacy Institute’s list of “sex positive productions”! [22]
“Every time someone watches that film,” she said, “they are watching
me being raped.” (See The Porn Industry’s Dark Secrets.)

Two more examples: The July 2007 issue of Taboo, a publication

owned by Hustler, featured a multi-page feature of a young woman
being held prisoner and severely sexually abused by her captors.
They took photos and videos of her and sold them as porn. [23] In
another case, a Miami jury convicted two men of luring women to
Florida to audition for modeling jobs, drugging them, filming them
being raped, and selling the footage as porn online and to stores
across the U.S. This went on for five years. [24] How many of those
videos, in five years, were viewed by individuals who would never
dream of contributing to human trafficking, who assumed they were
watching the work of consenting performers?

But “consent” is a slippery word in the world of porn. And of all the
ways pornography and sex trafficking overlap, the darkest, most
surprising secret of all might be this: even in the production of
mainstream porn, sex trafficking is a regular occurrence. Remember,
it doesn’t require kidnapping or threats of violence. All it requires is
coercion:

“I was threatened that if I did not do the scene I was going to get
sued for lots of money.”

“[I] told them to stop but they wouldn’t stop until I started to cry and
ruined the scene.”

“He told me that I had to do it and if I can’t, he would charge me and

I would lose any other bookings I had because I would make his
agency look bad.” [25]

None of those quotes is from someone who was chained in a room.

None of them are from victims who were beaten into submission or
held at gunpoint in some dingy brothel. Each of those actors drove
home at the end of the shoot and collected a paycheck. But does it
sound like consent? Or does it sound like coercion? (See The Porn
Industry’s Dark Secrets.)

This aspect of the porn world is so common, you don’t even have to
go to anti-pornography websites, or talk to ex-porn performers, to
hear about it. Current porn performers tell the same stories. It
speaks volumes about the culture and expectations of the porn
industry that often, when you hear these same complaints from
people still inside the business, they frame them in terms of an
“unprofessional” agent, director, or actor. As a legal matter, under
the TVPA, these aren’t just people being bad at their jobs; these are
potential sex trafficking crimes, punishable by up to twenty years in
prison. In fact, according to the United Nations definition of human
trafficking, it doesn’t even matter whether the victim said no: “the
consent of the trafficked person becomes irrelevant whenever any of
the ‘means’ of trafficking [coercion, fraud, threat of force, etc.] are
used.” [26]

Conclusion
Is sex trafficking modern-day slavery?

We’ve seen that the term “sex trafficking,” as a legal matter, can
apply to all kinds of situations, from the dungeon-like conditions of
a black market brothel to the simple coercion and intimidation that
can take place on the set of a modern porn shoot. With such a broad
range of offenses, it’s understandable if it seems heavy-handed
stamping the word “slavery” across the whole thing. Even in the
ugliest examples, the abusers don’t “own” their victims. Governments
don’t sanction the behavior. One could reasonably ask: Why even
make the comparison?

But then again, why does a modern-day pimp have a slavery

manual sitting on the back seat of his car?

Survivor’s advocate, Minh Dang, makes an interesting point.

Sometimes we have a tendency to define human trafficking only in
the legal terms of what the perpetrator does, instead of what the
victim experiences: “If we compare slavery and human trafficking, we
need to be clear about whether we are talking about slavery as an
institution, slavery as an economic activity, or slavery as the
condition of the person being enslaved.”

She continues, “Not everything is slavery, and that’s okay. […] This
doesn’t mean that the activities just outside of slavery aren’t as
horrendous.” [27]

So what is slavery and what is merely horrendous? How long does a

person have to exploit the body of another human being before it
qualifies as slavery? A decade? A year? An hour? How awful do the
victims’ experiences have to be?

In the old days of the unimaginable Atlantic Slave Trade, slave

traders used to scatter trinkets and bright red scraps of fabric along
the beaches of West Africa and right up the ramps of their ships.
Their victims walked up the ramps and into slavery, lured by luxuries
and shiny charms beyond anything they had ever seen. [28]
What are the lures today?

“Come to Florida to start your modeling career!”

“Come to America for a better life!”

“I’ll make you a star!”

Sex trafficking is the experience of being lured away from safety and
into a situation where a person can be dominated and exploited by
another human being. The victimization may last years, it may last
minutes, but that common thread remains the same.

Long before the American Civil War, millions of Americans had come
to the realization that slavery was evil. They condemned it. They
preached sermons about it. They published abolitionist books,
pamphlets, and tracts. They rescued slaves. They went to Congress.
So why did the problem persist for decades?

Because all while they were condemning, preaching, and publishing

about the evils of slavery, they were also wearing the cotton shirts it
produced.

Modern sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic connections to

pornography. Often they’re one and the same. You can hate a thing.
You can be outraged by it. But if you continue to sustain and engage
with the industry that helps give it life, what is your outrage worth?
Make it count, be a voice against modern-day slavery. Be a voice
against sexual exploitation and stop the demand for sex trafficking
through pornography.



The more you watch,
The more you want,
....
 The more you want,
The more time you need,
...

- DeYtH Banger



Life isn't made up from violent pornographic material, porn is
corrupted. It will make you lose interest in activies, lose interest in
talking to people, lose interest in going out, lose interest in living,
lose interest in sex, lose interest in life... COME ON ... COME ON... THIS
AIN'T GOOD... AT ALL.


- DeYtH Banger


(Note: You could be doing something more interesting... very
useful... than playing with your ninja (aka your penis, dick)


How Consuming Porn Can Lead To Violence

It’s no secret that much of porn is violent, but many people

don’t understand the extent to which porn’s underlying messages

influence behavior. Porn is full of people, particularly women, being
disrespected, coerced, and physically and verbally abused, and that’s
shaping how society thinks and acts.

A few years ago, a team of researchers looked at 50 of the most

popular porn films—the ones purchased and rented most often. [1]
Of the 304 scenes the movies contained, 88% contained physical
violence and 49% contained verbal aggression. On average, only one
scene in 10 didn’t contain any aggression, and the typical scene
averaged 12 physical or verbal attacks. One particularly disturbing
scene managed to fit in 128!

The amount of violence shown in porn is astonishing but equally

disturbing is the reaction of the victims. In the study, 95% of the
victims (almost all of them women) either were neutral to the abuse
or appeared to respond with pleasure. [2]

In other words, in porn, people are getting beaten up and they’re

smiling about it.

Of course, not all porn features physical violence, but even non-
violent porn has been shown to have effects on consumers. The vast
majority of porn—violent or not—portrays men as powerful and in
charge; while women are submissive and obedient. [3] Watching
scene after scene of dehumanizing submission makes it start to seem
normal. [4] It sets the stage for lopsided power dynamics in couple
relationships and the gradual acceptance of verbal and physical
aggression against women. [5] Research has confirmed that those
who consume porn (even if it’s nonviolent) are more likely to support
statements that promote abuse and sexual aggression toward
women and girls. [6]

But porn doesn’t just change attitudes; it can also shape actions.
Study after study has shown that consumers of violent and
nonviolent porn are more likely to use verbal coercion, drugs, and
alcohol to coerce individuals into sex. [7] And multiple studies have
found that exposure to both violent and nonviolent porn increases
aggressive behavior, including both having violent fantasies and
actually committing violent assaults. [8]

In 2016, a team of leading researchers compiled all the research they

could find on the subject. [9] After examining twenty-two studies
they concluded that the research left, “little doubt that, on the
average, individuals who consume pornography more frequently are
more likely to hold attitudes conducive [favorable] to sexual
aggression and engage in actual acts of sexual aggression.”

If you’re wondering how sitting in a chair consuming porn can

actually change what a person thinks and does, the answer goes
back to how porn affects the brain (See How Porn Changes The
Brain). Our brains have what scientists call “mirror neurons”—brain
cells that fire not only when we do things ourselves, but also when
we watch other people do things. [10] This is why movies can make
us cry or feel angry or scared. Essentially, mirror neurons let us share
the emotion of other people’s experiences as we watch. So when a
person is looking at porn, he or she naturally starts to respond to
the emotions of the actors seen on the screen. As the consumer
becomes aroused, his or her brain gets to work wiring together those
feelings of arousal to what is seen happening on the screen, almost
as if he or she was actually having the experience. [11] So if a person
feels aroused watching a man or woman get kicked around and
called names, that individual’s brain learns to associate that kind of
violence with sexual arousal. [12]

To make matters worse, when porn shows victims of violence who

seem to accept or enjoy being hurt, the viewer is fed the message
that people like to be treated that way, giving porn consumers a
sense that it’s okay to act aggressively themselves. [13]

Consumers might tell themselves that they aren’t personally affected

by porn, that they won’t be fooled into believing its underlying
messages, but studies suggest otherwise. There is clear evidence that
porn makes many consumers more likely to support violence against
women, to believe that women secretly enjoy being raped, [14] and
to actually be sexually aggressive in real life. [15] The aggression
may take many forms including verbally harassing or pressuring
someone for sex, emotionally manipulating them, threatening to end
the relationship unless they grant favors, deceiving them or lying to
them about sex, or even physically assaulting them. [16]
And remember that porn use frequently escalates over time, so even
if consumers don’t start out watching violent porn, that may change.
(See Why Consuming Porn Is An Escalating Behavior.) The longer they
consume, the more likely they’ll find themselves seeking out
increasingly shocking, hardcore content. [17]

Not surprisingly, the more violent the porn they consume, the more
likely they will be to support violence and act out violently. [18] In
fact, one study found that those with higher exposure to violent porn
were six times more likely to have raped someone than those who
had low past exposure. [19]

Of course, not every porn consumer is going to turn into a rapist. But
that doesn’t change the fact that pornography is hitting us with a
tidal wave of dehumanizing violence. It makes no sense for our
society to accept the messages of porn, while at the same time
calling for full gender equality and an end of sexual assault. A large
portion of the porn consumed by millions of people every day is
reinforcing the message that humiliation and violence are normal
parts of what sex is supposed to be. [20] It’s wiring the minds and
expectations of the upcoming generation, making it harder for many
young people to prepare for loving, nurturing relationships [21] and
leaving both women and men feeling like they can’t express the pain
it’s causing them. [22] (See Why Porn Leaves Consumers Lonely.)

Saying no to porn is helping to build a less violent world; one that’s

more loving, connected, humane, sexy, and safe.



Porn’s Harm Is Changing Fast

Skeptics of pornography’s danger point out that porn has been

around a long time. After all, the ancient Greeks painted sexual
images on their pottery. But comparing paintings on Greek vases to
today’s endless stream of live-action, hardcore videos is like
comparing apples to…um…kumquats. Technology is changing not
only the content of porn, but how, when, and at what age it’s being
consumed.

The year was 1953, and Hugh Heffner had just published the first
copy of Playboy.

Sex had just started to become a more prominent part of American’s

cultural conversation, partly because of Dr. Alfred Kinsey who, five
years earlier, had published a controversial but extremely popular
book on sexuality. [1] He was heralded as one of the first scientists
and writers to talk so openly about sexuality, and his books went
flying off the shelves. [2]

Heffner saw a chance to make money from the changing cultural

views about sex. But to maximize sales of his new magazine he had
to change porn’s image from something your friend’s creepy relative
might read to something sophisticated and mainstream. So Heffner
put his pornographic photos next to essays and articles written by
respected authors. In Playboy, porn started to look like nothing more
than harmless pleasure engaged in by respectable and successful
individuals.

Flash forward to the 1980s, when VCRs suddenly made it possible for
people to watch movies at home. [3] For porn consumers, that meant
that instead of having to go to seedy movie theaters on the wrong
side of town, they just went to the back room at their local movie
rental place. Sure, they still had to go out to find it, but porn was a
lot more accessible.

And then the internet changed everything. [4][5]

Once porn hit the Web in the 1990s, suddenly there was nothing but
a few keystrokes between anyone with an internet connection and
the most graphic material available. [4] The online porn industry
exploded. Between 1998 and 2007, the number of pornographic
websites grew by 1,800%. [6] By 2004, porn sites were getting three
times more visitors than Google, Yahoo!, and MSN Search put
together. [7] It was “big business” in a way the world had never seen
before. Thirty percent of all internet data was related to porn, [8]
and worldwide porn revenues (including internet, sex shops, videos
rented in hotel rooms, etc.) grew to exceed the incomes of Microsoft,
Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, and Earthlink
combined! [9]

As internet porn grew more popular; it also turned darker, more

graphic, and more extreme.(See Why Consuming Porn Is An
Escalating Behavior.)With so much porn available, pornographers
tried to compete for attention by constantly pushing the boundaries.
[10] “Thirty years ago ‘hardcore’ pornography usually meant the
explicit depiction of sexual intercourse,” writes Dr. Norman Doidge, a
neuroscientist and author of The Brain That Changes Itself. “Now
hardcore has evolved and is increasingly dominated by the
sadomasochistic themes … all involving scripts fusing sex with hatred
and humiliation.” [11] In our post-Playboy world, porn now features
degradation, abuse, and humiliation of people in a way never before
seen in the mass media. [12] “[S]oftcore is now what hardcore was a
few decades ago,” Doidge explains. “The comparatively tame softcore
pictures of yesteryear … now show up on mainstream media all day
long, in the pornification of everything, including television, rock
videos, soap operas, advertisements, and so on.” [13]

As the popularity of internet porn grew like wildfire, so did its

influence. Network television shows, pay-per-view channel series,
and movies began to up the ante with more and more graphic
content as they scrambled to keep the attention of audiences
accustomed to internet porn. [14] Between 1998 and 2005, the
number of sex scenes on American TV shows nearly doubled, [15] and
it wasn’t just happening on adult programs. In a study conducted in
2004 and 2005, 70% of the 20 TV shows most often watched by
teens included sexual content, and nearly half showed sexual
behavior. [16] And for the first time, porn was becoming a routine
part of teen life and a major way adolescents learned about sex. [17]
By now, porn’s effects have soaked into every aspect of our lives. [18]
Popular video games now feature full nudity. [19] Snowboards
marketed to teens are plastered with images of porn performers.
[20] Even children’s toys have become more sexualized. [21]

Technology has changed not only the content of the porn, but
also how, when, and at what age they consume it. Young men and
women are all presented with the issue of today’s porn, and studies
show that by the time they turn 14 years old, two out of three boys
in the U.S. have viewed porn in the last year, [22] and many are
watching it on devices they have with them 24 hours a day.

And for all of these changes to the nature and reach of today’s
pornography, we haven’t even mentioned the most disturbing
development of all: human trafficking. The modern-day slave trade
(and there is one) is fueled by pornography. Over two-thirds of all
calls to the National Human Trafficking Resource Center involve sex
trafficking—an estimated 21 million victims worldwide [23]—with 49
percent of all trafficking victims and 70 percent of underage
trafficking victims reporting that pornography was made of them
while they were enslaved. [24]

This is not a Third World problem. Sex trafficking, and its

dissemination through online pornographic sites, extends beyond
prostitution and child trafficking rings to the many “revenge porn”
sites, to the coercion, drugging, and/or physical abuse of porn
performers, wannabe models, and runaways right here in the United
States. Human trafficking includes any“commercial sex act induced
by force, fraud, or coercion.” [25] (See How Porn Fuels Sex
Trafficking.)

In fact, exposure to porn has been found, along with poverty, drug
abuse, and homelessness, to be one of the most consistent risk
factors associated with human trafficking. [26] And after victims are
ensnared, porn is often used to desensitize them to the acts in which
they will be forced to engage. Quite literally, porn feeds human
trafficking and human trafficking feeds porn. [27]

The argument that porn is nothing new—that it’s been around forever
and never caused any great harm—seems pretty silly when you think
about how different today’s porn is from anything that existed
before. Porn is incomparably more accessible, more widespread, and
more extreme than anything that existed even a generation ago.
Those centerfold magazines that were passed around among youth
in previous generations were nothing compared to what youth have
access to today, [28] and the consequences of looking today go far
beyond young people hoping their parents don’t find out.

The good news is that in response to the unprecedented spread of

pornography there are an unprecedented number of resources and
people who want to help, whether by spreading facts about
pornography or helping those who feel caught in its undertow.
Today’s pornography is a new phenomenon, unlike anything
humankind has ever seen, but the things that can push porn back are
as old as humanity itself: wisdom, vigilance, and a commitment to
real love.



Chapter 5 - Porn Isn't Addictive

Porn isn'T Addictive (Via The Porn Myth (book) by Matthew Fradd)


The media, it seems, never tire of talking about the latest
celebrity sex addict. Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, Michael Douglas,
David Duchovny, and many others have been branded by the media
as sex addicts. In 2009 VH1 premiered Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, a
reality show featuring sex addicts of all stripes: former porn stars,
models, musicians, film directors, wakeboarders, butchers, bakers,
and candlestick makers (just kidding on the last three). Sex addiction,
it seems, is as common as alcoholism in Hollywood.
The concept of “sex addiction” has been around for a long time.
Sigmund Freud considered masturbation the original addiction—
something common to us all—and that all other addictions were a
substitute or replacement for it.

Many, however, doubt that sex or porn can truly be addictive. Sexual
pleasure is, after all, as natural as the day is long. Sex is not
something we inject into our veins or snort up our noses. People may
use sex in unhealthy ways, but sex addiction, they claim, is a total
fiction.
Dr. David J. Ley believes that sex addiction is an imaginary disorder,
and his 2012 book, The Myth of Sex Addiction, attempts to explain
why. Ley agrees with other therapists that people do engage in
relationally destructive behavior when it comes to sex.1 Yes, people
habitually look at porn behind their spouses’ backs, they cheat, they
lie, they go to prostitutes—but none of these behaviors alone is a
marker of addiction. What many call sex addiction, he says, is just
being human. Human beings enjoy sex, some of us enjoy taboo sex,
and, when horny, all of us can make stupid choices. Sex addiction, he
says, is just pathologizing high libido and socially unacceptable
sexual behavior.
Psychotherapist and certified sex therapist Dr. Marty Klein agrees:
I don’t use the diagnosis of sex addiction. In thirty-one years as a sex
therapist, marriage counselor, and psychotherapist, I’ve never seen
sex addiction. I’ve heard about virtually every sexual variation,
obsession, fantasy, trauma, and involvement with sex workers, but
I’ve never seen sex addiction.
New patients tell me all the time how they can’t keep from doing
self-destructive sexual things; still, I see no sex addiction. Instead, I
see people regretting the sexual choices they make, often denying
that these are decisions. I see people wanting to change, but not
wanting to give up what makes them feel alive or young or loved or
adequate; wanting the advantages of changing, but not wanting to
give up what makes them feel they’re better or sexier or naughtier
than other people. Most importantly, I see people wanting to stop
doing what makes them feel powerful, attractive, or loved, but since
they don’t want to stop feeling powerful, attractive, or loved, they
can’t seem to stop the repetitive sex clumsily designed to create
those feelings.2
For seven years the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders (DSM) included “sexual addiction” under the

general diagnosis “Sexual Disorder Not Otherwise Specified”, but it

was removed later because of “insufficient research”. Since its
removal, the American Psychological Association has not recognized
sex addiction as a diagnosis.3 Dr. Ley says the reason is simple: the
science doesn’t support it. After all, there are already plenty of
classified disorders that include a hypersexual component. These are
often the problems that undergird and drive what many experience
as sex addiction. Why do we need an additional diagnosis, an
additional disease to add to the mix?
It is true that not every person who cheats on a spouse should use
the label “sex addict” as an excuse—what is often labeled an
addiction is just a person’s selfishness. It is also correct that there are
often other underlying issues that drive someone’s unhealthy sexual
habits.
Writing off the idea that sex can be addictive, however, simply
doesn’t line up with modern addiction medicine. Dr. Robert Weiss
comments about Dr. Ley’s theories:
Dr. Ley seems to be of the opinion that since sex does not introduce a
foreign substance into the human body, it can’t be an addiction. Yet
gambling is commonly recognized as an addiction, one that is listed
in the DSM (as pathological gambling), and no foreign substance is
introduced there. Gambling addiction, like sex addiction, is all about
fantasy, euphoria, and emotional escape.
Dr. Ley is equally misinformed about the nature of sex addiction.
(In fact, he seems to not understand the nature of addiction in
general.) He states: “There’s no evidence of a tolerance effect with
sex. An orgasm never stops feeling good.” What Dr. Ley fails to
understand is that sex addiction is not about orgasm per se, much
like gambling addiction is not about winning or losing.
Like all process or behavioral addictions, sex addiction is a process
that utilizes fantasy-based euphoria and ritualistic behavior to
escape and/or manage what feel like intolerable emotions, stressors,
and psychological conditions. Sex addicts engage in their addictive
behaviors as a temporary distraction from loneliness, low self-
esteem, anxiety, depression, and other triggers related to past
emotional and/or physical trauma.

In order to understand why sex can become an addiction, one first

needs to understand why things like drugs are addictive. The very
reason drugs are addictive at all is because they “trick” the brain:
they activate the brain’s natural neural pathways, which are involved
in reinforcement and pleasure. Neuroscientist Dr. William Struthers
says that pornography “hijacks” the brain in the same way: it tricks
the brain into thinking it is getting sex—and like a drug, the forced
high can become a deadly habit.5 In other words, pornography can
make us addicted to our own neurochemistry. Pornography triggers
powerful neurotransmitters such as epinephrine—also known as
adrenaline—dopamine, and others, so that when pornography is
used compulsively, it becomes addictive. In 2011, the American
Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) modified its definition of
addiction, saying that it is “a primary, chronic disease of brain
reward, motivation, memory and related.
circuitry”. This new definition now includes, for the first time,
behavioral addictions—not merely substance abuse. This is why the
ASAM now considers sex addiction a possibility: though sex is
naturally neurologically rewarding, someone addicted to sex is
engaged in the “pathological pursuit of rewards”.6
Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter (brain drug) involved in
the reward pathways in the brain. Dopamine is involved in our
cravings for food, exercise, and sex. According to Neurosurgeon Dr.
Donald L. Hilton:
Dopamine is essential for humans to desire and value appropriate
pleasure in life. Without it, we would not be as incentivized to eat,
procreate, or even to try to win a game.
It’s the overuse of the dopamine reward system that causes
addiction. When the pathways are used compulsively, a downgrading
occurs that actually decreases the amount of dopamine in the
pleasure areas available for use, and the dopamine cells themselves
start to atrophy, or shrink. The reward cells in the nucleus accumbens
are now starved for dopamine and exist in a state of dopamine
craving, as a downgrading of dopamine receptors on the pleasure
cells

occurs as well. This resetting of the “pleasure thermostat” produces a

“new normal.” In this addictive state, the person must act out in
addiction to boost the dopamine to levels sufficient just to feel
normal.7
What does this mean? It means that just like a drug addiction, porn
addiction causes a person over time to use the substance more and
more. The porn addict needs to watch more porn or more hard-core
porn to get the same high he could get with smaller doses.
Dr. Eric Nestler, head of neuroscience research at Mount Cedar Sinai in
New York, agrees. In his 2005 paper for the journal Nature
Neuroscience, he said that the dopamine reward system is involved in
not only drug addiction but also “natural addiction”—that is, the
compulsive consumption of a natural reward, such as the pleasure of
eating food or having sex.8
Added to all of this is one of the biggest components of modern porn
addiction: the Internet. To date, there have been

well over a hundred studies showing the impact of overuse of the

Internet on the brain. Internet overuse has been shown to impair
cognitive function, decision-making, information integration,
working memory, and impulse control.9
Moreover, sex and porn addicts show all the telltale signs of
addiction: tolerance, withdrawal symptoms (such as irritability,
violent dreams, mania, insomnia, violent mood swings, paranoia,
headaches, anxiety, and depression), desensitization, and repeated
failed attempts to quit, despite the negative consequences of their
behavior.
Sex and porn addictions are realities, and just as with alcoholism or
drug addiction, the label “addict” does not excuse a person for his
actions. Addiction is slavery, to be sure, but it is a chosen slavery.
Addicts find freedom not by denying the power that porn has over
them, not by denying that their addiction is real, but by admitting it
to others and asking for help.




Chapter 5.1. - You are in

(Note: This is disgusting... nothing sexual... in this... this shit is
fucked up.)

Let's throw up more Porn material




(Note: It's normal to see violent behavior... craving inside your
body... THERE ISN'T AN EXAMPLE OF PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT
WHICH ISN'T VIOLENT... EACH IMAGE, VIDEO IS VIOLENT... RECOGNIZE
IT OR NOT... JUST LOOK WHAT HAPPENS... IT LOOKS LIKE ALL OF
THEM HAPPY AND READY TO TAKE ALL OF THE CUM... BUT THIS ISN'T
REALLY THE WHOLE SCENARIO... DEEP THROAT IS - ABUSIVE... (aka
choke)... blowjob (disgusting), facials... something like slavery.... (The
whole idea of pornographic material is women to don't have rights...
THE SHOULD EXECUTE MALE FANTASIES... that's why they are here.)


- PORN DOESN'T HELP LEARNING ABOUT SEX... IT HELPS IN
CRAVING FOR THINGS WHICH ARE WHOLE WHOLE A LOT HIGHER
LEVEL THAN WHAT SEX IS ALL ABOUT.

AND


Yes... you are fucking in,... you are seeking for pleasure. In the end
after hour of pornographic material you end up covered in cum... like
your body... or even go so silly in such stupid as doing facials ..
The more you watch... the more non brainer you become

- "You are on drugs" - But you don't recognize it... because it's as
good as sexual pleasure.

- People end up feeling guilty... stress needs relief.. relief aka relapse
makes you feel guilty.

IT GOES HANDS IN HANDS

.....



Chapter 5.2 - Too Much Porn (Part 4)

The scary effects of pornography: how the 21st century's acute

addiction is rewiring our brains

n the late 1980s, it is thought there were just three kinds of
people using the internet: civil servants, academics and people
looking for pornography. Presumably, they were not mutually
exclusive either.
It is students we have to blame, or thank. From the beginning, the
‘internet’ – then a rudimentary platform rooted in bulletin board
systems and file transfer protocol – was being harnessed on college
campuses across America as much for research purposes as it was for
the sharing of explicit, copyrighted images from the porn industry.
Where there was demand, supply followed, and it grew.
Over the next few years, sex sites began pioneering every
incoming technological development, adopting text and visuals
before many other sectors, innovating file sharing, and making huge
amounts of money. By 1995, when the US entrepreneur Gary Kremen
(that’s Kremen like ‘Werder Bremen’, not Kremen like ‘semen’)
registered sex.com, the industry was already a dominant force.
Experiment - Students react to watching porn with friendsh
Today, it is believed the online porn sector is worth around $15
billion, and it reaches more people, and younger people, every year.
In 2016 the analytics report of just one website, Pornhub, revealed
that its videos were watched 92 billion times last year, by 64 million
daily visitors. It works out at 12.5 videos for every person on the
planet, and if you tried watch all of them consecutively – don’t –
you’d be busy for 524,641 years.



It’s a very thorough report, and fascinating. In the site’s ranking
of the most popular search terms, ‘lesbian’ once again conquered all,
while ‘step mom’ gained the second spot from ‘MILF’ and ‘teen’ for
the first time.
Meanwhile, for another year, porn users in the Philippines spent
the most time per visit, clocking up a full 12 minutes and 45 seconds
on average. Here in the UK, where ‘british chav’ is the 9th most
popular search term and requests for the word ‘giantess’ increased
by 354pc over that 12 months, we stick around for just 9 minutes 40.
It is a middling effort: better than the French, worse than the
Aussies.
Today marks the start of Sexual Health Week in the UK, with a
specific focus on the role of porn in 21st century society. So, with
ease of access all but guaranteed, and appetite apparently
unceasing, what effect is pornography having on users’ brains?


More children are exposed to pornography below the age of 16
than ever before CREDIT: GETTY

Undeniably, heavy consumption can have clear consequences,
especially for those already inclined toward compulsive sexual
behaviour. In 2014, a Cambridge University study found that
pornography triggers brain activity in sex addicts in the same way
drugs trigger drug addicts.
“Compulsive behaviours, including watching porn to excess, over-
eating and gambling, are increasingly common. This study takes us a
step further to finding out why we carry on repeating behaviours
that we know are potentially damaging to us,” said Dr John Williams,
Head of Neuroscience and Mental Health at the Wellcome Trust,
which funded the research. “Whether we are tackling sex addiction,
substance abuse or eating disorders, knowing how best, and when, to
intervene in order to break the cycle is an important goal.”
While it wasn’t enough to declare pornography inherently
addictive, the same study did draw a correlation between brain
activity and age. The younger the user, the greater the neural
response to porn, potentially for the long-term. Last year, it was
found that 53pc of 11-16 year-olds have seen explicit material
online at some stage.
Enjoying real-life sex less is perhaps the best-known consequence
of porn over-consumption, and a well understood problem in the
21st century. In the 1980s, anti-porn protesters always argued it
would turn men into monstrous pests. If anything, it seems to have
done the opposite; it is not uncommon to hear of young men so
accustomed to viewing porn of whatever variety, whenever they want
it, that the labour of having actual sex is seen as unnecessary.

An increase in erectile dysfunction complaints is often attributed
to porn use CREDIT: GETTY



Then there’s a physiological impact. A 2015 study by researchers
at the University of California found a rare positive correlation
between porn watching and libido, but the consensus is on the
opposite side. Last year, for instance, NHS experts noted an increase
in erectile dysfunction in otherwise healthy young men, and thought
excessive porn use was the most likely factor at play.
“These young men do not have organic disease [so] one of the
first assessment questions I’d always ask now is about pornography
and masturbatory habit, because that can be the cause of their issues
about maintaining an erection with a partner,” psychosexual
therapist Angela Gregory told the BBC.
 Given that, it is perhaps no surprise that organisations
like NoFap – an online support community for men attempting to
abstain from porn, sex and masturbation – are more growing in
popularity.
The problem with grand, sweeping statements about
pornography’s effects on its consumers, though, is that one form of
pornography is not the same as another. Reading Playboy daily is
not the same as watching Pornhub, for instance, just as watching
Pornhub every once in a while is not the same as logging onto an
illegal torture site in your work toilet.
While many would argue the strength of porn doesn’t matter, as
long as it is purely fantasy and consensual, it’s likely even a mild
consumption fundamentally alters the way a person views sex.
Studies have confirmed that the dopamine increase resulting from
porn potentially means users require a greater and greater sensation
from real sex in order to match what they can so easily access.
“An entire generation is growing up that believes that what you
see in hardcore pornography is the way that you have sex,” Cindy
Gallop, an advertising executive, said in her 2009 TED talk on the
matter. “Because the porn industry is driven by men, funded by men,
managed by men, directed by men and targeted at men, porn tends
to present one world view: that this is the way it is.”




In 2009, Gallop launched Make Love Not Porn, a ‘social sex
revolution’ providing a counterpoint to the male-focused videos
predominating. Now, ‘feminist porn’, designed to rethink how women
are presented in mainstream videos, is reported to be on the rise.
Studies are generally in agreement that pornography influences
real-life practice, to worrying degrees. A report in 2014 found a link
between watching unprotected sex occur on screen and going on to
have unprotected sex in real life, for instance, while the number of
women who underwent a ‘labiaplasty’ – a surgical procedure to
reduce the size of the vaginal opening – rose by almost 40% last
year in the US, and is believed to be elected by women wishing to
look more like the often cosmetically-enhanced performers.
Porn-watching was linked to infidelity in another study, again
American, which found that seeing multiple sexual partners on
screen subtly wounds a committed relationship by convincing the
watcher that the grass will be greener on the other side, no matter
how happy you are with your current situation.
The conviction of Jamie Reynolds, who murdered 17-year-old
Georgina Williams in Shropshire in 2013, brought the topic acutely
into public debate. Reynolds, a court heard, had been watching
extreme pornography immediately prior to strangling Williams to
death.
Giving evidence to MPs, Lord Thomas, the Lord Chief Justice,
stopped short of blaming porn directly, but said he was left “in no
doubt at all that the peddling of pornography on the internet had a
dramatic effect on the individual.”


The headlines have never been good, ever since rumours of hairy
palms started spreading. Some might remember the alarming
suggestion, in 2014, that people’s brains shrink the more they watch
pornography.
As it happens, the research in question was also deeply
flawed, something the study's own lead scientist appeared to
identify, claryifying, "it's not clear [...] whether watching porn leads to
brain changes or whether people born with certain brain types watch
more porn.”
That led to other researchers to criticising studies that are too
small-scale and quick to leap to conclusions.
“Everything is going to be bad in excess and it’s probably not
terrible in moderation,” Dr Gregory Tau of the Columbia University,
said. “It is possible that there are individuals with a certain kind of
brain that are more susceptible to these kinds of behaviors. Or, it’s
possible it’s the excessive use (of porn) that’s perpetuating itself to
causing brain changes. Or, it could be both.”
And that's about the best summary we have.


 IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT WATCHING PORN WILL SHRINK YOUR
BRAIN?


A HUNDRED YEARS ago they said that masturbating would make
you go blind. We've progressed. Today, we're told that watching
moderate amounts of pornography will shrink your brain. The claim
arrives courtesy of a brain imaging paper published last month in
JAMA Psychiatry, a respected medical journal.
Among the global hyperbolic headlines that followed, my
favourite was from a German site: "Pea brain: watching porn online
will wear out your brain and make it shrivel." Others included
"Viewing porn shrinks the brain" (from the reliably untrustworthy
Daily Mail) and Watching Porn Linked To Less Gray Matter In The
Brain (from Huffington Post).
The study that triggered all this concern was published by a
German pair: Simone Kühn, a psychologist, and Jürgen Gallinat, a
psychiatrist. They scanned the brains of 64 healthy men (average age
29) in three ways. Note the word healthy. In fact, all the men who
participated were free from any psychiatric or neurological disorders.
So if they had shrunken brains (we'll come onto that later), it wasn't
causing them any major problems.
The first scan was a simple structural brain scan. The second
looked at patterns of brain activation when the men viewed sexual
or neutral images. The third scan looked at brain activity while the
men relaxed in the scanner for five minutes (a so-called resting-state
scan). The men also answered questions about how much porn they
watch. They averaged four hours per week, and none of them met
the criteria for Internet sex addiction according to the "Internet Sex
Screening Test".
Here's what's caused all the fuss. The researchers found that hours
spent watching porn was negatively correlated with the amount of
grey matter in a subcortical region near the front of the brain - the
right striatum - that's known to be involved in the processing of
reward (as well as lots of other things). In other words, men who
said they spent more time watching porn tended to have a smaller
amount of grey matter in this part of their brain. Also, the more avid
porn viewers showed less activation in their left striatum when they
looked at racy images, and they appeared to have reduced
connectivity between their right striatum and their left dorsolateral
prefrontal cortex.
So, does watching porn shrink your brain? The researchers think it
probably does. "One may be tempted," they wrote "to assume that
the frequent brain activation caused by pornography exposure might
lead to wearing and down regulation of the underlying brain
structure, as well as function ...".
One may be tempted, but one should really know better. The
most glaringly obvious problem with this study is of course its cross-
sectional methodology. It's just as likely that men with less grey
matter in their striatum are more attracted to porn, as opposed to
porn causing that brain profile. The researchers know this. "It's not
clear ... whether watching porn leads to brain changes or whether
people born with certain brain types watch more porn,” Kühn told
The Daily Telegraph (and yet that paper still ran the headline:
"Watching pornography damages men's brains").
A further problem with correlational studies is not just that the
causal direction can run either way, but that an unknown or
uncontrolled third factor (and others) could be causally involved. In
the case of this study, the elephant in the room is personality.
Unsurprisingly, personality is linked with media use (including porn
consumption) and with brain characteristics. Asking men how much
porn they watch is a crude indicator of their extraversion, (lower)
conscientiousness and desire for sensation seeking. For instance, men
who watch porn in work hours tend to be less conscientious and
more impulsive. Last year, a study reported: "Neuroticism,
agreeableness, conscientiousness, and obsessional checking all
significantly correlated with a latent measure of compulsive behavior
upon which use of Internet pornography use also loaded."
Amazingly, although Kühn and Gallinat checked their participants
were free from depression and addiction, they otherwise failed to
measure their participants' personality traits. Had they done so, they
would likely have found strong associations between personality and
brain structure and function. Past research has already shown that
high sensation seekers have reduced sensitivity to high arousal
pictures (including nudity and gore). Other research has documented
differences in resting-state brain activity according to personality.
Still further research has shown how extraverts, and those more
open to experience, are more persuaded by advertising that uses
sexual imagery.
By failing to measure or control for personality, the results of this
study are virtually meaningless. The men's self-reported time spent
watching porn is little more than a rough proxy for their personality
profile, including their willingness to diverge details about their
private habits. And we already know that key personality traits such
as extraversion and sensation seeking are linked with distinct
patterns of brain structure and response. By failing to follow up
participants over time, the research also provides no evidence that
watching porn has any effects whatsoever. Moreover, by also
neglecting to measure any other media consumption, then even if
before/after evidence were available, we wouldn't know if it were due
to porn consumption or to other media activities correlated with that
porn use, such as watching violent movies and online gambling (to be
fair, the findings did still hold after the researchers controlled for
overall levels of internet use).
The researchers have witnessed newspapers spread headlines of
brain shrinkage and brain harm, and yet they know that they
specifically recruited psychologically and neurologically healthy men.
In fact, therein lies the only really meaningful insight from this study.
Look at it this way. In a survey of 64 men who answered recruitment
adverts for a brain scanning study, it was found that they viewed an
average of four hours porn a week. They do so with no apparent ill
consequence - screening confirmed no psychiatric, medical or
neurological problems. Of course there is a debate to be had about
the merits and harms of porn for individuals and society. This study
does not make a helpful contribution. Suggested new headline:
"Watching moderate amounts of porn won't hurt your brain".
Chapter 5.3 - So More

So after all you watch so much explicit porn

that


and





...

In the end the guy ends up with girl in which he finishes + he gets
blowjob, sex, ass fuck, pussy fuck... and you you...

...

Like sick freak ... continuing to watch some kinda image and jerking
off... or let's say masturbating... you end up... cum all over you... or
even in your pants ... your hand covered in cum and what's cool in
that?


...

It's like you are on funeral



- And you start jerking off... masturbating.... it's as sick as doing
that... while you watch porn


Your mind suggest plenty of shit why to watch it...

like


1) "Let's watch one..." - Just one
2) "Okay... let's now watch something like cumshots eating." - It's
the last
3) "Few More"
4) "Just one More"
5) "Let's check out shemale pornographic video."
6) "I lomost... I promise.. .we won't jerk off.... masturbate... just
watch."
7) Touchy and luchy
 - Scenario of... let's touch ourselfs... just a touch... put your hand
in your pants... just start touching... FEEEL IT
FEEL IT... FEEIL IT...

NO MASTURBATING
NO MASTURBATING

- AND in the end


You get so much horny or aroused that you are going to do
anything just to finish off




YOUR BRAIN KNOWS THAT
YOUR ADDICT KNOWS THAT,


BUT YOU DON'T KNOW

I mean that you end up

with expectations that you ain't gonna jerk off, ain't gonna
masturbate, ain't gonna get cum...

but in the end you finish off...


...

Your addict is proud, your brain likes that process and you
you fucking damn you... you end up feeling guilty... who knows
how far this strike did went.



 It's starts from the most innocent like from soft porn or images,
then it escalates.


Up to more and more and more and more and more and more...

(But you think that each video is going to be the last... but
NO...NO.NO...NO - dUDE)



....

You see female as a sexual object which purpose is to

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK


AND

...

FUCK

...

 WHICH MEANS IT SHOULD EXECUTES YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES
...

YOU DON'T SEE IT LIKE FEMALE IS THERE TO CONNECT... NOT TO
FUCK ONLY


WRONG PERCEPTION KILLS IT ALL!



...

This porn won't satisfy you always your desires... you will go
higher and higher...

...

and what then?






Intention Left Empty Blank

“In all these assaults on the senses there is a great wisdom — not
only about the addictiveness of pleasures but about their
ephemerality. The essence of addiction, after all, is that pleasure
tends to desperate and leave the mind agitated, hungry for more.
The idea that just one more dollar, one more dalliance, one more
rung on the ladder will leave us feeling sated reflects a
misunderstanding about human nature — a misunderstanding,
moreover, that is built into human nature; we are designed to feel
that the next great goal will bring bliss, and the bliss is designed to
evaporate shortly after we get there. Natural selection has a
malicious sense of humor; it leads us along with a series of promises
and then keeps saying ‘Just kidding.’ As the Bible puts it, ‘All the
labour of man is for his mouth, and yet the appetite is not filled.’
Remarkably, we go our whole lives without ever really catching on.

The advice of the sages — that we refuse to play this game — is

nothing less than an incitement to mutiny, to rebel against our
creator. Sensual pleasures are the whip natural selection uses to
control us to keep us in the thrall of its warped value system. To
cultivate some indifference to them is one plausible route to
liberation. While few of us can claim to have traveled far on this
route, the proliferation of this scriptural advice suggests it has been
followed some distance with some success.”
― Robert Wright, The Moral Animal: Why We Are the Way We Are:
The New Science of Evolutionary Psychology



“May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re
dead.” – Traditional Irish toast















Chapter 6 - Stop (Forgotten)

And the side effects!

you want that



If there's one thing that almost every guy is an expert at,
it's masturbation. After years of extensive, hands-on experience, you
think you know everything there is to know. But according to the
experts, maybe you don't. Here are some that may surprise you.

1. Masturbation doesn't have the health benefits that sex does.

"It appears that not all orgasms are created equally," says Tobias
S. Köhler, MD, MPH, an associate professor at Southern Illinois
University School of Medicine in Springfield.
Study after study shows that intercourse has all sorts of benefits
for men -- for your blood pressure, heart and prostatehealth, pain,
and more. You'd think that masturbation would, too. But it doesn't.
Why would it make a difference whether you ejaculate
during sex or on your own? No one's sure. But your body seems to
respond differently. Even the makeup of semen is different if you
masturbate instead of having sex.
Still, does it really matter? Have you honestly been masturbating
all these years only because you wanted to boost your prostate
health? Didn't think so. But one study, Harvard’s Health Professional
Followup, showed that Masturbation may help lower risk of prostate
cancer.

2. Masturbation is not risk-free.

Sure, it's low-risk. It's the safest form of sex possible. No one ever
caught an STD from himself or made himself pregnant. But like other
low-risk activities (chewing, walking), it still has some risks.
Frequent or rough masturbation can cause minor skinirritation.
Forcefully bending an erect penis can rupture the chambers that fill
with blood, a rare but gruesome condition called penile fracture.
Köhler has seen guys with it after vigorous masturbation.
"Afterward, the penis looks like an eggplant," he says. "It's purple and
swollen." Most men need surgery to repair it.

 3. There's no "normal" amount of masturbation.
Guys can get hung up on whether they masturbate too much. But
it's not how many times you masturbate in a week (or day) that
really matters, says Logan Levkoff, PhD, a sexologist and sex
educator. It's how it fits into your life.
If you masturbate many times a day and have a healthy,
satisfying life, good for you. But if you masturbate many times a day
and you're missing work or giving up on sex with your partner
because of it, consider seeing a sex therapist.
Even then, there's nothing specific about masturbation that's the
problem. Compulsive masturbation is like any behavior that disrupts
your life -- whether it's compulsively playing poker or checking your
social media every other minute.


...



1. Porn Means You Can’t Get Aroused by “Just” Your Spouse

Do you remember reading about Pavlov and his dog in
Psychology? Pavlov would give the dog a nice juicy steak, but right
before he did he would ring a bell. He conditioned the dog to
associate ringing the bell with getting great food. Eventually Pavlov
took the food away, but kept ringing the bell. The dog kept salivating
at the bell, even though there was no steak, because the dog
associated the bell with the food.

The same thing happens when we see porn. Porn stimulates the
arousal centers in the brain. When it’s accompanied by orgasm
(sexual release through masturbation), then a chemical reaction
happens and hormones are released. In effect, our brains start to
associate arousal with an image, an idea, or a video, rather than a
person.
When you don’t watch porn and save yourself until marriage,
then all of those chemicals and hormones are released for the first
time when you’re with your spouse, and it causes you to bond
intensely (and sexually) to your spouse. But when you spend a ton of
time teaching your brain to associate arousal and release with
pornography, your brain can’t associate arousal and release with a
person anymore. Either you have to fantasize about the porn, and
get those images in your brain, or you have to watch porn first.
Often people can “complete the act”, but it’s not intense for them the
way porn is. You’ve rewired your brain, and now you’re salivating at
the wrong thing.

2. Porn Wrecks Your Libido

It’s only natural, then, that many people who use porn in the
past, or who use porn in the present, have virtually no libido when it
comes to making love to their spouse. The spouse is not what turns
them on, and so the natural drive that we have for sex is transferred
somewhere else. I get so many emails from young women in their
twenties who say, “my husband and I were both virgins when we
married, and I thought he’d want sex all the time. But after our
honeymoon sex went to maybe twice a month, and that’s only if I
pressure him. He says he just isn’t interested.” With so many men
growing up on porn, this is just to be expected.

3. Porn Makes You Sexually Lazy

In porn, everyone is turned on all the time. You don’t have to
make any effort to arouse someone; it’s automatic. There is no
foreplay in porn. And so if your spouse isn’t aroused you start to
think that it’s somehow their fault. There’s no expectation that we
will have to “woo” someone or be affectionate and help jumpstart
that arousal process. It’s almost as if we approach sex as two
different beings and we’re just using each other, rather than thinking
of each other. And thus we never learn how to please the other or
become a good lover because we’re always thinking that the other is
somehow “frigid”. Pornography teaches you that sex is about getting
my needs met; it isn’t about meeting someone else’s needs or
experiencing something wonderful together.

4. Porn Turns “Making Love” into a Foreign Concept

Those arousal centers and pleasure centers in our brain are
supposed to associate sex with physical pleasure and a real sense of
intimacy. But the intimacy doesn’t happen with porn, and so the
pleasure is all that registers. Thus, porn makes sex all about the
body, and not about intimacy. In fact, the idea of being intimate isn’t
even sexy anymore; anonymous is what’s sexy. We may call “having
sex” “making love”, but in reality they aren’t necessarily the same
thing. Someone who has used porn extensively often has a difficult
time experiencing any intimacy during sex, because those arousal
and pleasure centers zero in only on the body. And that’s another
negative effect of porn: porn users often need to objectify or degrade
their partner in order to achieve pleasure, the exact opposite of
intimacy.
God made sex to actually unite us and draw us together; He even
gave us a bonding hormone that’s released at orgasm so that we’d
feel closer! But if that hormone is released when no one is present, it
stops having its effects. Sex no longer bonds you together.

 Save


5. Porn Makes Regular Intercourse Seem Boring

An alcoholic drinks alcohol for the “buzz”. But after a while your
body begins to tolerate it. To get the same buzz, you need more
alcohol. And so the alcoholic begins to drink harder liquor, or drink
larger quantities.
The same thing happens with porn. Because porn teaches us that
sex is all about the body, and not about intimacy, then the only way
to get a greater “high” or that same buzz is to watch weirder and
weirder porn. I think most of us would be horrified if we saw what
most porn today really is. It isn’t just pictures of naked women like
there used to be in Playboy; most is very violent, extremely
degrading, and very ugly.
“Regular” intercourse is actually not depicted that often in porn,
and so quite frequently the person who watches porn starts to get a
warped view of what sex really is. And often they start to want
weirder and weirder things.
Now, I’m not against spicing things up, and I do think lots of
things can be fun! But when we’re wanting “more” because we’ve
programmed ourselves to think “the weirder the sexier”, there’s a
problem.

6. Porn Makes it Hard to Be Tender When You Have Sex

It’s no wonder, then, that people who use porn often have a hard
time being tender when they have sex. Sex tends to be impersonal,
rushed, and “forced”. I’m absolutely not saying that all porn users
rape their wives, but porn itself is often violent. There’s no foreplay.
There’s no waiting to arouse someone. It’s just taking what you want.
Being tender means to be loving. It’s to give and to express
affection. Because these things aren’t paired with sex in the porn
users brain, tenderness and sex no longer go together.

7. Porn Trains You to Have Immediate Gratification and Have a
Difficult Time Lasting Long

With porn, when you’re aroused you reach orgasm very quickly,
because porn users tend to masturbate at the same time. Thus,
orgasm tends to be very fast. The porn user hasn’t trained his body
to draw out sex so that his spouse can get pleasure; his body is
programmed to orgasm quickly. Many porn users, then, suffer from
premature ejaculation.
Some porn users go to the other extreme when they start
suffering from erectile dysfunction. They have a difficult time
remaining “hard” enough during sex because the stimulation isn’t
enough. In their case, orgasm can take an eternity, if it’s possible at
all.
While both seem like polar opposites, the simple fact is that
sexual dysfunction of some sort is one of the big negative effects of
pornography.

 8. Porn Gives You a Warped View of what Attractive Is

Sex is supposed to bond you physically, emotionally and
spiritually with your spouse. But if porn has made the chemical
pathways in your brain go haywire, then sex becomes only about the
body. And porn shows you that only certain body types are
attractive. It’s not about the whole person; it’s just a certain type of
person.
If a woman gains even ten pounds, then, she’s no longer
attractive, and the porn user has an honest to goodness difficult time
getting aroused, because he associates only a certain body type with
arousal. Porn has taught your brain that sex is only about the body,
and not about the relationship, so if someone’s body isn’t exactly
right, no arousal happens.

9. Porn Makes Sex Seem Like Too Much Work

All of this combines to often make sex with your spouse too much
work. You’re not aroused; you find your spouse not attractive; sex is
blah; and sex requires you to make an effort for your spouse, while
you’re used to immediate gratification.
Thus, many people who use porn retreat into a life of
masturbation. Even if the porn use stops, they often find it easier to
“relieve” themselves in the shower than to have to work at sex.

10. Porn Causes Selfishness

All of this causes a spiral of selfishness where the person ignores
his spouse’s needs and is focused only on getting what he wants, and
getting it instantly. Often this manifests itself in other areas of the
relationship as well, where the spouse becomes annoyed if they have
to wait for something, or if they don’t get what they want. Porn has
sold them the message: you deserve pleasure when you want it. You
shouldn’t have to work to get what you want. Your needs are
paramount.
It’s no wonder that shows up in other areas of your relationship.

 People who think that porn is harmless and simply helps people
“get in the mood”, or “relieves frustration”, are kidding themselves.
The chemical processes in our brains are really complicated, and
when you start messing with them, it’s really difficult to develop a
healthy sexuality again.



Chapter 6.1. - Too Much Porn (Part 5)

This former porn star is exposing porn’s secrets: and it should

make you very, very uncomfortable

“If porn is as bad as you say it is, why does anyone still work in
porn?”
This is a common response to anti-porn advocates who argue
that pornography is sexually violent, the visual celebration of rape
and a perverse glorification of the degradation of women and girls.
There are, of course, many answers to this question: Some women
are desperate for money; many, if not most, have been sexually
abused; still others have been deceived into thinking that the porn
business is a glamorous and sexy business (the mainstreaming of
Playboy and the increasing crossover of porn stars into other
entertainment industries has certainly contributed to that).
But to find out what women experience inside the porn industry
firsthand, I decided to call someone who’d been through it herself:
Shelley Lubben.

"I can’t tell you how many porn addicts have lost their families and
jobs. It’s really sad. And they’re contributing to children being raped.
I’m like—for a better reason not to click on porn, [think about] child
porn. Just think, right now as I’ve been talking to you, there are little
children that are being drugged and raped. How could anyone click
on porn knowing that?”


Shelley Lubben was a porn star in the 1990s, having entered the
industry as a prostitute at a very young age. The “sexual exploitation
industries,” as Dr. Mary Anne Layden refers to the various aspects of
the sex business, soon began to take their toll.



“It’s a vicious circle [being] a sex worker, because you’re stripping,
taxi dancing, and you just get burned out in prostitution,” Lubben
told me. “After prostitution I got burned out, and I was lied to that I
would be safe from STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and I would
make all this money. I was a single parent, so what the heck, might
as well do sex on camera. But it was completely and utterly the
worst, darkest thing I’ve ever been involved in.”

For starters, Lubben had assumed that unlike in prostitution,
where many of the johns didn’t want to use condoms, the porn
industry would at least keep her safe from STDs. It didn’t—and that’s
because, as Lubben tells it, the entire porn industry is rife with them.

“We didn’t use condoms in porn,” she said bluntly. “There’s no
condoms allowed, so we’re forced to do unprotected sex—and I can’t
tell you how many people alter their tests. Just last year, they had 4
HIV cases, a high bunch out of a very small group of people…we
know that most of the porn stars have had an STD at one time or
another, and they estimate between 66% to 99% have herpes. They
don’t test for herpes, so all these people are involved with rampant
STDs.


“Even the LA Public Health Department shows they’ve been
monitoring and they came up with thousands and thousands [of
cases] of chlamydia and gonorrhea. They’re the highest group in
California to have that many STDs. So when people click [on porn],
they’re contributing to sex trafficking, they’re contributing to STDs,
they’re contributing to people who are mostly alcohol to drug
addicts. Now I’m speaking of the majority. Not every porn star’s a
drug addict, but the majority of them are. And I can’t tell you, when I
went through recovery, I had PTSD. I had all kinds of disorders,
serious traumas.”


RELATED: The James Deen porn scandal is so much worse than
what’s being reported


It’s a story I have read time and time again in my research on the
porn industry, so I had to ask: why did she get involved in the sexual
exploitation industries in the first place?
“Well I’d been sexually abused at nine years old by a teenage boy
and his sister,” Shelley Lubben replied. “So I experienced very shocking
heterosexual and homosexual activity at a very young age, and at
the same time I was raised by the television - I was allowed to watch
R-rated movies, horror movies, movies with sexual content, so I
learned about love and sex from abuse and from basically parental
neglect, because they would just allow us to watch these things.
“And then as I got older, I was rebelling because my dad was not
very involved in my life, and I began to look for sex with boys
because the boys would say they loved me. So it was this cycle that I
felt in my head that I’m loved if I have sex with a person. My dad
kicked me out on the street for being rebellious, and I ended up in
San Fernando, LA, which is Porn Valley, and a pimp lured me in, and I
was very naïve. No, I was rebellious, I was not naïve. He lured me in
for 35 dollars, and then he… you know, I had to escape from him
physically, because he became very abusive, and then a Madame
found me, and it just spiraled on.”
Once she was embedded, Lubben felt trapped in a cycle of
degradation and destruction.
“I would hate prostitution, feel guilty, then I would do stripping to
survive,” she said. “I had no education - most of these girls that enter
porn do not really have an education, there’s gonna be maybe a few
that say they have degrees, although I have yet to see one - but
most of the girls don’t come from, like, healthy families, where they
have a healthy self-esteem. I haven’t really met porn stars with
really healthy families. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but
maybe they exist in their mind because of course different girls are
gonna wanna say they’re empowered by their sex work, because
what you can’t beat, you’re gonna join. You don’t want people to
think you’re weak when you’re in porn; you wanna act like you love
it and you love rough stuff, and you love being violated, and called
degrading names. It’s all just a pack of lies. People do porn because
they need the money, and most of them don’t have other options or
education.”
The porn industry is dark, evil, and incredibly violent—and it has
been that way for a very long time. I read Lubben some of Dr. Gail
Dines’ research on how pornography is becoming more violent, and
then asked her if that reflected her experience.



“Absolutely,” she replied. “It was even violent back in my day, but I
got involved in hardcore porn just because I was still filled with rage
from my parents. But yeah, in my day I would have never let anyone
rip my mouth or put some weird gadget in my mouth or do
something where they’re causing a rectum prolapse, I wouldn’t have
done that. I would’ve walked away. Nowadays, girls have to end up
doing that stuff, ‘cause that’s what sells. So it’s really sad this is a lot
of our society that, but you know, everyone’s so desensitized to
vanilla sex now. They want it harder, and grosser and darker, and
you know, I can’t imagine what our society will be like in 20 years
from now. I can’t, I don’t think I… I’ll have to like move to the
mountains or something, because I doubt any normal girl could walk
the street at that point.”


It’s shocking in some ways that the porn industry is so
mainstream and so popular, considering that at the same time there
had been a chorus of voices speaking out against sex trafficking.
Doesn’t the porn industry, I asked Lubben, feed into sex trafficking?

“A lot of people think that pornography fuels sex trafficking and
it does,” Lubben said firmly. “But it does that because it is sex
trafficking. It’s called [a] cutthroat business because it’s trafficking;
all of us have been coerced into doing a scene we didn’t wanna do.
We went to fraudulent doctors or fraudulent clinics they sent us to.
In fact, their clinics - the main porn star clinic closed down a couple
years ago, because a lot of us were standing against it - but we had
a former porn actress who has a PhD in sexology, and she would put
on a white lab coat and tell the girls, ‘Call me Dr. Sharon Mitchell.’ So
all these girls think that she’s a medical doctor, and they would go
there for her medical advice and for STD treatment and testing. So
that’s just one way they’re fraudulent.
“Another way [is that] pornographers make false promises: ‘If you
do this scene I promise that you’re going to get this money, or you’re
going to get the box cover’ or, ‘You won’t have to do this kind of
scene anymore.’ It’s all based on lies. And so you’ve gotta be tough
to be in that business.


“You know, most of these films are made in private locations, and
private mansions, or hotel rooms where’s there’s no government
access. So it’s like two young girls, 18, 19, 20-year-old girls on a
mostly older male set. The producer’s male, the crew’s male…so of
course, we’re intimidated into doing scenes we don’t wanna do. I
can’t tell you how many times I’ve showed up and they said, ‘You
need to do this scene,’ [and] I said, ‘No, that’s not what my agent
said,’ or ‘That’s not what I was told to do,’ and they’re like, ‘Well,
you’re gonna do it or we’re not gonna pay you, we’re going to sue
you.’ And now with the Internet they tell the girls, ‘If you don’t do
this scene, we’re going to send your porn to your family members,
we’re gonna ruin your reputation, you’re never gonna work again,
we’re gonna take away your finances, we’re gonna physically hurt
you,’ or they threaten to sue them. This is sex trafficking. Every porn
star has been trafficked at least at one time or another in the porn
industry.”
It is because of this that Shelley Lubben, after eight years, finally
left the porn industry after meeting a pastor, who later married her,
sticking with her through ten long, painful years of recovery. In 2007,
she started the Pink Cross Foundation, which works to bring porn
actresses and porn actors out of the porn industry, offering them
hope and healing, and warning young people enamored with the
industry of the darkness and pain that awaits them within.

Before I hung up the phone, I asked Shelley Lubben one final
question: “If you could say one thing to someone who’s looking at
pornography, what would you say?”
 She barely had to pause. “You’re contributing to your demise,” she
answered. “And to your family’s demise, and your wife’s. I can’t tell
you how many porn addicts have lost their families and jobs. It’s
really sad. And they’re contributing to children being raped. I’m like—
for a better reason not to click on porn, [think about] child porn. Just
think, right now as I’ve been talking to you, there are little children
that are being drugged and raped. How could anyone click on porn
knowing that?”

And indeed, after hearing Shelley’s story, many, many people
have come to just that conclusion: Porn is a destructive force. Porn
has ruined many lives. For the good of our families, our society, and
ourselves—it’s time to count the cost, and cut porn out for good.



“In addition to being coerced, lied to and repeatedly exposed to non-
curable life-threatening diseases, many women experience severe
damage to internal body parts.”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn

“The truth is there is no fantasy in porn. It’s all an illusion. A closer
look into the hardcore scenes of a porn star’s life will show you an
act the porn industry doesn’t want you to see. The real truth is we
porn actresses want to end the shame and trauma of our box office
lives but we can’t do it alone.”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn


“Damaged little girls are exactly what the porn industry preys upon
and depends upon. It is estimated that 90% of porn performers are
sexual abuse survivors and the average age of a porn actress is 22.8
years old.”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn


“Furthermore, when the deaths of 129 porn stars over a period of
 roughly 20 years were analyzed it was discovered that the average
life expectancy of a porn star is only 37.43 years whereas the
average life expectancy of an American is 78.1 years.28”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn


“The porn industry was never supposed to happen this way. But 1
out of 4 Americans made it happen. While women and men in porn
destroyed themselves with drugs, alcohol and suicide we sat idly by
at our computers with “popcorn” in one hand and our mouse in the
other greedily clicking away at their lives. May God forgive our evil.”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn


“In fact, porn can literally kill you. Since 2000, there have been at
least 34 drug-related deaths among performers...”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest
Illusion on Earth


“...It’s hardly surprising America’s children, most having been well
groomed in sexual immorality over 40 years, have ended up on
MySpace or Facebook uploading sexy pictures of ourselves. Where
else can a hyper sexualized kid get so much attention?”
― Shelley Lubben, Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest
Illusion on Earth




Porn is fuelling a new, violent sexual ideology in our teens. It has to
stop.

April 28, 2015 (LifeSiteNews.com) -- I’ve been saying for quite
some time that pornography is dangerous for more reasons than
those that we typically discuss. Pornography is not dangerous just
because it is spiritually dangerous. Pornography is not dangerous
just because it is addictive, unhealthy, and unrealistic. Pornography is
dangerous because it is becoming a new ideology of sex, in which
women are objects to be abused and consumed and men are sexual
aggressors, using the girls and women to physically extract as much
so-called “pleasure” as possible.

When I first spoke on this issue at the University of Ottawa with
my fellow anti-porn colleagues Daniel Gilman and Peter Mahaffey,
many people showed up angry, desperately wanting to refute the
idea that porn fuels rape culture. But when it came time to take
questions, there were none. As we heard from many people
afterwards, the fact that pornography is a celebration of
degradation was just too obvious.

I’ve had this sick and disturbing fact confirmed by expert after
expert. When I talked to Dr. Mary Anne Layden of the University of
Pennsylvania, she explained to me that the sexual exploitation
industries teach men something very simple: If you can buy
something, you can steal it. And in ten years of working with sexual
trauma victims, she’s discovered that pornography played a part in
every single situation. Dr. Paul Jensen of the University of Texas told
me that when he speaks to men, he just asks them a simple question:
Does porn help you become the man you want to be? Men know
instinctively, he says, that pornography does something dark and
awful to them.

My personal conversations with hundreds of high school
students across the country have given me a heart-breaking and
personal glimpse of how this generation struggles with the virus of
pornography that has spread through their homes and their schools,
their social networks and their entertainment. And thus, an article in
the Daily Telegraph of the United Kingdom this week called
“Pornography has changed the landscape of adolescence beyond all
recognition” did not surprise me at all, in spite of the appalling
details it revealed.

Columnist Allison Pearson was describing a recent conversation
between herself and a number of other parents. “Porn has changed
the landscape of adolescence beyond all recognition,” she noted.
“Like other parents of our generation, we were on a journey without
maps or lights, although the instinct to protect our children from the
darkness was overwhelming.”

It was when a doctor in the group spoke up that the group was
stunned into silence. According to Pearson:
A GP, let’s call her Sue, said: “I’m afraid things are much worse
than people suspect.” In recent years, Sue had treated growing
numbers of teenage girls with internal injuries caused by frequent
anal sex; not, as Sue found out, because she wanted to, or because
she enjoyed it – on the contrary – but because a boy expected her to.
“I’ll spare you the gruesome details,” said Sue, “but these girls are
very young and slight and their bodies are simply not designed for
that.”

Her patients were deeply ashamed at presenting with such
injuries. They had lied to their mums about it and felt they couldn’t
confide in anyone else, which only added to their distress. When Sue
questioned them further, they said they were humiliated by the
experience, but they had simply not felt they could say no. Anal sex
was standard among teenagers now, even though the girls knew that
it hurt.
And where are these brutal expectations coming from? Every
adult knew without asking: From pornography. Anal sex, especially
of the violent variety, is now mainstream in porn, as the research of
Dr. Gail Dines and others show us.

This is resulting in a sharp upswing in emotional problems among
girls, something I’ve seen time and time again when interacting with
high school students as well. Researchers with the Journal of
Adolescent Health, Pearson reports, have been shocked to see a 7%
spike in emotional issues in a mere five years—and in girls between
the ages of 11 to 13. In a culture saturated with pornography, girls
especially feel the pressure to conform to the fantasy that has
consumed the minds of the boys and spilled out to invade their
reality.


All of these problems are interconnected. “Take female insecurity,
warp and magnify it in the internet Hall of Mirrors, add a longing to
be ‘fit’ and popular, then stir into a ubiquitous porn culture, and you
have a hellish recipe for sad, abused girls,” Pearson writes. “It
explains why more than four in 10 girls between the ages of 13 and
17 in England say they have been coerced into sex acts, according to
one of the largest European polls on teenage sexual experience.
Recent research by the Universities of Bristol and Central Lancashire
found that a fifth of girls had suffered violence or intimidation from
their teenage boyfriends, a high proportion of whom regularly
viewed pornography, with one in five boys harbouring “extremely
negative attitudes towards women.”

Up until now, the response has been a feeble attempt at further
sex education, which many experts think may have a hand in the
problem to begin with—once you open the Pandora’s Box of teen sex,
it’s very hard to unring that bell. And once those teenagers start
taking their cues from an increasingly misogynist entertainment
culture, a hypersexualized marketing industry, and violent
pornography, you have all the ingredients you need to create a rape
culture. The sex education being used now is not working, Pearson
writes angrily—“not when tens of thousands of girls are revealing
‘serious distress and harm following abusive behavior from
boyfriends.’”

The result? That is what Pearson’s doctor friend deals with, the
medical treatment of young girls who got treated like porn stars—
brutally abused and coerced into things they didn’t want to do.
“Young girls—children, really—who abase themselves to pass for
normal in a grim, pornified culture,” says Pearson. “Another study of
British teenagers found that most youngsters’ first experience of anal
sex occurred within a relationship, but it was ‘rarely under
circumstances of mutual exploration of sexual pleasure.’ Instead, it
was the boys who pushed the girls to try it, with boys reporting that
they felt ‘expected’ to take that role.”

In times past, porn theatres and smut shops were labeled “for
adults only.” But the sad reality now is that children, adolescents and
teenagers are being forced to grow up in an adult world—and those
adults have unleashed a tsunami of depravity unrivaled in human
history for sheer accessibility. The Sexual Revolution is a revolution
no longer, with all of its central tenets institutionalized by the
authorities and educational system.

But I have to wonder—does nobody think that when we have to
teach teens not to hurt each other through violent sex acts that we
may have done something terribly wrong? I feel pity for those who
have reduced sex to “consent.” Humanity once knew that we could
transcend mere consent. Consent, yes. But also dignity. Love.
Compassion. When we revisit those timeless values, then we will start
to recognize our new ideology of sex for the crude and insidious
imposter that it is.


The Pain within us

- Chemical Unbalances


I kept learning intellectually about what causes depression and
anxiety.

And that it’s much deeper than the story I’d been told by my
doctor—that it’s just a missing chemical in your brain.

But I think it really emotionally fell into place when I went and
met an incredible South African psychiatrist called Derek
Summerfield. So Derek was in Cambodia when chemical
antidepressants were first introduced there. And the Cambodian
doctors didn’t know what they were, right? They’d never heard of it.
So he explained it to them and they said, “Oh, we don’t need them.
We’ve already got antidepressants.”

And Derek said what do you mean?

He thought they were going to talk about some kind of herbal
remedy or something.

Instead they told him a story. There was a farmer in their
community who one day, a rice farmer, who one day had stood on a
landmine and had his leg blown off. And so they gave him an
artificial limb and he went back to work in the fields. But it’s
apparently very painful to work in water when you’ve got an
artificial limb. And I imagine it was quite traumatic—He’s going back
to the fields where he was blown up.

And he started crying all day. He didn’t want to get out of bed.
Classic depression, right? And so they said to Derek, “Well we gave
him an antidepressant.” Derek said what did you do? They explained
that they sat with him, they listened to his problems, they realized
that his pain made sense. He was depressed for perfectly good
reasons. They figured if we bought him a cow he could become a
dairy farmer then he wouldn’t be so depressed. They bought him a
cow. Within a few weeks his crying stopped, he felt fine.

They said to Derek, “You see, Doctor, that cow was an
antidepressant.” Now if you’ve been raised to think about depression
the way that we’ve been indoctrinated to, that it’s just the result of –
there are real biological factors but it’s just the result of a chemical
imbalance in your brain—that sounds like a joke, a bad joke. They
gave the guy a cow as an antidepressant and he stopped being
depressed?
But what those Cambodian doctors knew intuitively is what the
World Health Organization has been trying to tell us for years.
Depression is a response to things going wrong deep in our lives and
our environments. Our pain makes sense.

As the World Health Organization put it, mental health is
produced socially. It’s a social indicator. It requires social as well as
individual solutions. It requires social change, right?

Now that is a very different way of thinking about depression and
anxiety but it happens to fit with the best scientific evidence.
And it really required me to reassess how I’d felt about my own
pain and how I tried to deal it unsuccessfully and open up a whole
different way of responding to my depression and anxiety that
worked for me.

And I think as the World Health Organization says and the UN
says, if we talk less about chemical imbalances and more about
power imbalances we will get more at the heart of depression and
anxiety and we’ll find better solutions.

This was a—this was such a personal and difficult journey for me.
There were these two mysteries that were really kind of haunting me,
and it’s a sign of how afraid I was to look into them. I wanted to
start doing this seven years ago and I figured it would actually be
easier to do a book that required me to go and spend time with the
hitmen for the Mexican drug cartels instead, which I then did.

And the first was: why was I still depressed? I’d gone to my
doctor when I was a teenager and I’d explained I had this feeling like
pain was kind of leaking out of me. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t
regulate it. I was very afraid of it. I was very ashamed of it.

And my doctor said, “We know why you feel this way. There’s a
chemical called serotonin in people’s brains and it makes people feel
good. Some people naturally lack it. You’re clearly one of them. We’ll
give you these drugs. They’ll boost you back to a normal serotonin
level.”

And I felt such relief when I was give that story and even more
relief when I was given the drug. And for a few months I felt radically
better.

 And then this sense of pain started to kind of bleed back in. So I
went back to the doctor and he said, “We didn’t give you a high
enough dose.” I took a higher dose. Again—got relief again, and the
pain came back. And I was really in that cycle until I was taking the
maximum possible dose for 13 years. And at the end of it I still felt
terrible.

The second mystery, and to me the much more important one, is:
why are so many other people in our culture feeling such profound
despair and anxiety? One in five Americans will take a psychiatric
drug. One in four middle-aged women in the United States is taking
a chemical antidepressant in any given year.

And I thought, I began to think, “Could it really be that just so
many people are just mysteriously lacking a specific chemical in their
brain? Why does it seem to be rising so much if that’s the cause?”

So I forced myself to go on this journey over 40,000 miles for my
book Lost Connections.
I met the leading scientists in the world who studied the causes of
depression and anxiety and the solutions. The first thing I learned is
that story my doctor told me is not true.

Professor Andrew Scull at Princeton University says it is deeply
misleading and unscientific to say that depression is just caused by
low serotonin.

Dr. David Healy in Britain says you can’t even say that idea has
been discredited because it was never credited.
There was never a time when half of the scientists in the field
believed that. It doesn’t mean there’s no value to chemical
antidepressants. There’s some value, but what I learned is actually I
had been wrong about depression all my life.
Until I went to my doctor when I was a teenager I thought it was
“all in my head,” meaning you’re weak, you’re just not tough
enough.

 And then for the next 13 years I thought it was “all in my head,”
meaning it’s a chemical imbalance.
What I learned is: it’s largely not in our heads. There are real
biological factors that can make it worse, but the main causes of
depression and anxiety are in the way we’re living today.






Our society is beginning to realize how awful porn is. It’s about time
men did, too.

April 6, 2017 (TheBridgehead) -- Society at large continues to
grapple with the fact that the wide-scale pornification of our culture
is coming at a brutally high cost—especially to girls and
women. Alabama, for example, is taking a look at legislative ways of
addressing the problem:
When Alabama lawmakers return to the Capitol next week they
will consider a bill that would criminalize the sale of a smartphone
or other internet access device without a pornography filter. Adults
wanting to turn off the filters would pay a $20 fee and request the
deactivation in writing…
Williams’ bill would make it a class A misdemeanor, punishable by
up to one year in jail, to sell an internet access device without a filter
to block out obscene material, child pornography, images used for
sexual cyber harassment, or sites used for human trafficking. Selling
a device without a filter to a minor would be a class C felony –
punishable by 10 years in prison.
Similar bills have been introduced in South Carolina and North
Dakota.
On top of that, last week the state of Arkansas joined Utah and
the Republican Party in recognizing the porn plague as a public
health crisis:
A panel of lawmakers unanimously pass a resolution Wednesday
declaring pornography a public health crisis. The bill cites an array of
individual and community problems that proponents say are
associated with pornography, including sex trafficking and child
exploitation.
A supporter for the bill, a former adult film actress, testified in
front of the committee warning about the negative impacts of that
and other industries. “The pornography industry, strip clubs, hooters
and all forms of exploitation prey upon the vulnerable,” said Jessica
Neeley, an adult film actress.
The resolution is non binding, but does encourage the state to
seek education, prevention, research and policy change to reverse
problems associated with pornography.
Besides the fact that pornography is creating an online rape
culture that is beginning to spill over into the sex lives of porn
consumers, we’re just starting to discover what the impact of a
pornified culture is on those who feel forced to live up to its
standard. A horrifying story in the Daily Mail revealed a huge spike in
women seeking plastic surgery in their attempts to model their own
appearances after the porn stars their male peers so voraciously
consume:
Increasing numbers of women are going under the knife to have a
‘Barbie vagina’ as a result of watching internet porn, experts claim.
Becoming accustomed to what looks ‘normal’ as a result of the
abundance of x-rated images online, many are seeking an
unachievable look.
In 2015, nearly 100,000 across the world underwent a
labiaplasty, which involves trimming back the inner ‘lips’ to give them
the look of a pre-pubescent teenager. And a further 50,000 had
vaginal rejuvenation – the tightening of the canal, figures from the
International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS) showed.
But both procedures to give women a designer vagina come with
health risks, including bleeding, infections and scarring.
The physical risks of emulating and engaging in porn culture go
far beyond plastic surgery. Gwyneth Paltrow’s appropriately-named
“Goop” Magazine, for example, recently released a sex issue which
advocated for so many bizarre sexual practices that one
commentator noted it that it was “normal sex” that was now
abnormal. One of those practices was anal sex, which brought to
mind the horror stories being presented via testimonies and briefs to
the Standing Health Committee of Canada, which is currently
examining the impact of violent pornography on sexual assault. One
of the trends highlighted for the Committee was that rough and
violent anal sex was resulting in girls ending up in the hospital with
prolapsed rectums, damage that could be permanent.



It’s stories like those that make me increasingly frustrated with
the way we discuss the issue of pornography. Porn “addiction,” for
example, is a very helpful way of explaining the way porn
consumption rewires the brain, creates compulsive users, and results
in such manifestly self-destructive behavior. But on the other hand,
we have to be careful that porn users don’t use the term “addiction”
as an enabling one, as an excuse for their seeming helplessness in the
face of ongoing porn consumption. Some of the guys who approach
me genuinely want to get help freeing themselves from porn. But
others seem to use open conversation about the problem as
catharsis, and actually expect people to feel sorry for them. That I
have begun to find somewhat nauseating. Men are called to fight for
those that they love and to make society a better place. The idea
that men could instead snivel about their inability to stop
masturbating is a sad picture of where a pornified culture can lead.
What would our grandfathers and great-grandfathers say about
such men?
Fortunately, our culture is beginning to recognize that
pornography is immensely destructive, from academia to the halls of
power. Repulsive stories of the damage porn culture is doing to girls
and women are hard to read, but men, especially, need to read them
and realize that pornography is the biggest threat to real masculinity
in the history of Western Civilization. Porn consumption is, at the end
of the day, fundamentally predatory behavior that involves the
systematic dehumanization and degradation of women. Stop
whining, stop struggling, and start fighting.



Ten reasons to reject Wynne’s sex education curriculum



As the Ontario government gets ready to bring back the radical
sex education curriculum for Ontario's children, here are ten reasons
why parents should reject it in spite of the political correctness
propaganda that supports it.
1. Children don't need to know all the mechanics of sex before
they are emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually old
enough to understand what they are being taught. Scrap the
curriculum and spend the money on properly counselling students, in
making sure there is help for students who have mental issues and
feeding those that come to school hungry.
2. The morally misguided idea that elementary children can give
consent to sex is evil. Children are being abused when they are
introduced to explicit sex. This isn't a healthy and responsible way to
teach about human sexuality. Consensual sex doesn't necessarily
make sex safe, moral and appropriate. Even the absurd idea
of consent to rape or any kind of sexual abuse never justifies it.
3. What has "gender inequality" got to with sex education? Who
gets to define the term and the meaning? Parents should not even
recognize the word "gender" and refer only to the two sexes, male
and female. Catholic parents have the constitutional right to do so.
The government should say what they really intend to do. Tell
Ontarians that the curriculum pushes homosexuality, "gender
identity" and teaches kids dangerous sexual acts such as anal and
oral sex.
4. No Ontarian should swallow the lie that the new sex education
is needed to deal with Internet and safety issues. If some students
have gotten into trouble with revealing pictures they have posted on
the Internet, how is teaching them about the disputed "gender
theory" of self-defining sexuality based on feelings and the will
going to solve the problem? It's not.
5. Parents should not be misled and confuse school violence,
bullying and the proper use of social media with the need to teach
children all the details about sex at a young age. To address
cyberbullying and sexting issues can best be done with the help of
companies that provide the service and parental involvement. Let's
not confuse school safety with the perverted notion of children being
used as objects of sex because the agenda of political correctness
entitles them, and even some groups at the United Nations agree, to
have "sexual rights." This right is just as false the "reproductive right"
to kill a baby in the womb. This corrupts language and leads to
behaviour that's immoral.
6. Yes, it's a good idea to try to stop a student from harm because
they posted an inappropriate photo on a social media site and sent it
to a friend. The photo somehow gets to others who were never
intended to view it or it reaches a person who misuses it to blackmail
the sender. There's no easy solution, but the answer isn't this: teach
the children an explicit sex education curriculum. No educator in his
or her right mind believes this nonsense. Children need the proper
and loving guidance of parents and teachers in order to best deal
with this serious issue. Often these students need special help
because they are suffering from emotional, psychological and social
problems which lead to the inappropriate photo posting in the first
place.
7. Sadly today some university and college students are sending
graphic and explicit message about sex. At Dalhousie University, for
example, social messages like would you like to "hate f__," have been
used. But this is the result of a society that has oversexualized
children too early and at some point we are bound to see the evil
fruits. We live in a very sexualized society and more explicit sex at a
younger age is hadly the answer. Instead, the solution begins with
parental and teacher guidance. As a society, we need to encourage
our young to show proper respect for themselves and the dignity of
the person.
8. The fact that Benjamin Levin helped develop the sex-ed
component of the Health and Physical Education curriculum ought to
be reason enough to reject it. Levin has been charged with seven
counts of child exploitation, including charges of possessing and
accessing child pornography. It's fair to say that he's currently on
trial and the accusations have not been proven in court. But wouldn't
a good and caring government want to distance itself from any
connection whatsoever to this sordid and perverted mess?
9. Parents as First Educators, Real Women of Canada and a
network of parental rights advocates that includes Campaign Life
Coalition, have all come out strongly to condemn the limited
parental consultation process being used by the Wynne Liberals to
get the curriculum approved even before it's officially released. The
sex ed curriculum should have been an election issue so that voters
could have had a real and transparent consultation process with
their vote. But why bother to let democracy get in the way of
political correctness. Ontarians have been misled.
10. School board trustees in the province have had no say
regarding the proposed new curriculum. Unless major changes are
made, Catholic trustees should reject the curriculum because it
contradicts the teaching of the Church on human sexuality, the
family and marriage. Catholic teachers have the right to refuse to
teach the curriculum and Catholic parents have the right to outright
reject it. Our children must be physically and morally protected.


A revolution based on a lie




Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness
for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet
for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20)
June 13, 2016 (HLI) -- How much more bizarre can our society
get? It’s a question that many have been asking for a long time, but
these days it’s hard to keep up with the answers, which change
hourly.
In Alaska, a boy who thinks he’s a girl is allowed to participate in
the girls’ track meet, and he wins. The girls are not happy, but are
not quite sure how to express their protest since they don’t want to
be branded as bigots for calling a boy a boy when that boy wants to
be called a girl.
There are a growing number of reports that the man formerly
known as Bruce Jenner, who now goes by the name “Caitlyn,” is
having second thoughts about “transitioning” to womanhood and is
contemplating returning to identifying himself as what he still
actually is, a man. This regret is actually common for people who
adopt the appearance and lifestyle of the opposite sex. These reports
have not been confirmed, but were this to occur, does anyone really
think that the fascistic LGBT movement will support such a
transition?
A famous homosexual couple has adopted children (apparently
two men cannot naturally conceive a child) and projected a carefully
cultivated image as a “happily” “married” couple with the help of
media who desperately want to tell such a story. Yet as it turns out,
their private lives are more sordid than the story allows, and the
couple is suing to silence media who would report certain ugly and
inconvenient facts, so that their adopted children would be spared
the pain of knowing what their adoptive parents actually do.
The idea that the LGBTQQ… movement is about to implode has
been discussed recently, and there are signs of sanity coming from
progressives who have been supportive of the movement but are
starting to recognize its totalitarian and anti-human nature. Better
late than never, I suppose.
How much more bizarre can it get? I’m not sure the question is
meaningful anymore, since all bets are off. There are many
conversations going on about how we arrived here, with a great deal
of interesting histories of cultural Marxism, Communism, feminism,
and other anti-Christian ideologies whose goal has been to “liberate”
men and woman from the oppression of religion, marriage,
traditional roles of men and women, etc.
I’m not sure the girls in Alaska, Mr. Jenner, or the famous couple
and their children feel all that liberated.
When your revolution is based on a lie, it will certainly fall, but it
can do a lot of damage to nations, lives and souls before it does. We
“got here” because we turned our backs on God. We happen to be
living through a deluge of degradation almost unimaginable even a
few years ago.
Except that the Church did imagine this collapse. Specifically,
Cardinal Ratzinger, later Pope Benedict XVI, said something that
could have been written yesterday, in 1984’s The Ratzinger
Report (summarized by Christopher West):
What we are living through in our day is the result of an ideology
that has completely severed body and soul. And that’s the very
definition of death. Barring a divine intervention, we must now
endure the full consequences of the “uprooting of the human person
in the depth of his nature” – an uprooting that stems from the fact
that “sex has remained without a locus and has lost its point of
reference” since the cultural embrace of contraception (The Ratzinger
Report, p. 84).
By detaching sex from procreation, the essential meaning and
natural orientation of the gender distinction is lost and one’s sex is
eventually “viewed as a simple role, interchangeable at one’s
pleasure,” Ratzinger observed. From there, people end up demanding
the right of “escaping from the ‘slavery of nature,’ demanding the
right to be male or female at one’s will or pleasure” (p. 95).
Call this an update of Humanae vitae 17, in which Blessed Pope
Paul VI famously predicted — against the spirit of the age — that the
wide embrace of contraception would have a host of negative
consequences. Those who dismissed Pope Paul, and later Cardinal
Ratzinger, simply couldn’t imagine what we are actually seeing
happen today, when we call evil good, and good, evil. When we don’t
know God, how can we know ourselves?
I love serving a Church that knows the true nature of man and
woman because she knows the One in whose image we are made. I
love serving a Church that knows what is true and good, a Church
that knows Christ because she was founded by Him. I am grateful for
her social and moral doctrine, which are rooted in Holy Scripture,
and offer true liberation by guiding all people of good will to live in
love and truth.
If you are looking around for a rock to hold onto as the flood
waters rise and currents seem to pull you away, know that you have
it in the One, Holy, Catholic Church. Avail yourself of God’s mercy in
the Sacrament of Penance and in His body and blood, soul and
divinity in the Blessed Sacrament. Choose from among the many
devotions available to the faithful and make your faith central to
your life, and invite others to do the same. Be an example of joyful
and intelligent faith, and a source of strength for your family and all
whom you meet.
Don’t be afraid! Live with courage, faith, hope and love.




Chapter 7 - Take Action

Now is the time

Now is the moment
Now is the time
Now is the moment


Now is the time
Now is the moment




It's time to take a step if you can't start watching motivational
videos


Youtube Channels like those have plenty of material:

Subscribe to these chanels

1) Video Advice:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAwylBbx8RiRD3VsaYdwNTw


2) Fearless Soul:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0nOQ1R3Z-vRO7K6g-
W7Jkg

3) Team Fearless:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf9_s9ii6BZ-klpgmtIi3WQ

4) Motivation2Study:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8PICQUP0a_HsrA9S4IIgWw

 5) Epsilon:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClGJIdImwPi_ipKegiRBI8Q

6) Healthy Mind:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6iG9q4_TrDAEmNroL3yIvw

7) The Difference
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC17AbFNLBAvbc-
43hM_Ybvw

8) Basquiat Picasso
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCORp0Fxa5lHFuZfLHxfeLuQ

9) MulliganBrothers
https://www.youtube.com/user/mulliganbrother



10) Prince Ea
https://www.youtube.com/user/thamagicsho2003


Also and my Youtube Channel


11) Vonder Gong
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtw__4ra3oHhIB5KHbK-opA

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/GordanFreem






Chapter 8 - No More Excuses!

Stop with the excuses, you always say to yourself excuses...

I was like you


"I won't do that... because now I am not in the mood."
"I won't do that... because here I have plenty of obstacles."
"Give me one more chance... next time I am going to do it."
"Not now... later..."
"It's not big deal I really don't need it..."
"I won't do it... I done it once... I can't do it one more time."
"It's enough..."
...

As far you go as more reasons come in your mind and you

start nourishing all this thoughts... by taking your time not in action
but in theory saying

stupid stuff like


1. "I won't do that... because now I am not in the mood." - This
thought willl put you
like
- My mom said... "BYEEEEEEEE..." - IT REALLY CHILDISH THING
THIS ZEROES MY CONFIDENCE

Reasons could be as shitty as this one...

- Your mother could make you feel like piece of shit

- Your friends will make you feel piece of shit - BUT FRIENDS
MAKING YOUR PIECE Of shit.. means that... they are your enemy
 - You start saying that it's time for school... no time for girls
- Then school finish you are going home... you see a cute girl and
you say...
"Okay tomorrow... I am going to do it..."
"Tomorrow... goes in another tomorrow... the other in other in
and other... and so on..."
- YOu stop yourself just from stupid reasons...
- you say "Now is time for home."
- You don't stop with excuses

you could say

"Too Much people."
"I look like a freak."
" I feel like a creep"
"It's too crowdy."


then it comes the moment in which you go in a deep stress

putting yourself down... down... a state of mind of an addict... in
the end you end up here...

- JUST GO AND READ THE TITLE OF THIS BOOK
What is it?


...

.......





......







.........




.....


You have plenty of time... better to clean up the mistakes... done
playing and doing the same mistakes over and over

- This book isn't about dating
- This book isn't about how to get a woman
- This book isn't about how to get muscles
- This book isn't about chess. (I like chess... but still not so damn
good to make such type of book.)
- This book isn't about tastes of food.



This book is about:

- How you get in anxiety and depression
- It's simple it's starts from denial and end ups in the dark
room... with blue screen and what you really "fuck" is bunch of pixels.

You say to yourself

- I... I don't need a girl... it feels great with porn.
- I can do it and without them... I feel fine... without them.

 then comes the examples... which go hand in hand
"he Said"... "She said"

- My uncle was a lone aka... single
- My father didn't got married until he got 30
- My mom says that there is plenty of time


even there is time of ... I want do it..., but

- What to say?
- How to start?
- Is that good?
- Are you sure?
- Then what?


and getting rejected

- Nothing, is more stressful than getting rejected
...

It makes your feel worse and + it adds few more minutes like 40
minutes or even 2-3 weeks... to get in the same mindset and start
getting results.




Today is the day you give up the story
The story you made up,
About why you aren’t there yet.
The story you made up,
About why you can’t do it
The story you made up,
About why you are not good enough
Today you will give up that story!
Today there are NO EXCUSES
today I make the commitment!
Today I know I am the creator
The creator of my life experience
Today I know I DECIDE
I decide how I react to challenges
I don’t give up
I don’t give in!
I accept responsibility for my circumstances
I make NO EXCUSES
I FOCUS ON WHAT CAN BE DONE
and I MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

Failures suffer setbacks and stop growing

Winners suffer setbacks and keep going!
When challenges appear I keep going!
When I look back at my life in 10 years I want to know I CHOSE
MY LIFE, I didn’t settle for it.
When I look back, I will know that I made no excuses, and because of
that I have no regrets.
NO EXCUSES!
NO PROCRASTINATION!
NO HESITATION!
NO DOUBT!
NO REGRETS!
IT’S TIME! To take my life to the NEXT LEVEL!
No more excuses. No hesitation.
I will reach my goal!
I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!
Things aren’t always going to work out as planned. That’s life.
None of us can escape life’s challenges and hardships
What separates those who succeed and those who fail is how we
RESPOND to life’s challenges.
The STRONG make NO EXCUSES.
I AM STRONG
YOU ARE STRONG.
WE MAKE NO EXCUSES!
No matter how hard it gets. We ask: ‘How can we use this?’
‘How can we win?’
WE WIN, BECAUSE WE MAKE NO EXCUSES!



....


......



I Made It




i made it, not because of a b or c
I made it because of ME!
I made it, not because I had no obstacles
Not because I suffer no setbacks,
Not because everything went right,
I made it despite the obstacles.
Despite the huge challenges.
I made it BECAUSE I GOT FIGHT!
I made it, not because I stepped on others to get there
I made it because I helped others.
Because I know the truth that lies in the statement: help enough
people get what they want and the world will give you what you
want.
Add value. Get rewarded.
I made it because the fire inside me was stronger than the storms
outside of me
I made it, because of my appetite to learn and grow everyday.
I’m not content with OK-living
I’m not content with expectations of others
I’ve got my own expectations. I’ve got my own standards!
I’m not OK with average!
I’ll leave that crap for someone else!
I expect more out of life, I deserve more and I will get more!
I made it because I made NO EXCUSES.
If something goes wrong ITS ALL ON ME!
ALL ON ME to find a solution!
All on me to find a way to win, REGARDLESS OF THE
CIRCUMSTANCES!
I made it.
You didn’t!
You made excuses.
I didn’t!
I grew.
You didn’t!
I sacrificed.
You didn’t!
You made excuses.
I didn’t!
I didn’t quit because YOU said i couldn’t make it.
I made it BECAUSE you said i couldn’t
I used your negativity as FUEL.
I made it DESPITE you.
I didn’t get lucky.
I made my own luck!
Only the successful will understand that
The weak believe in luck
The successful believe in whatever it F-N takes
I didn’t make it cause i had the magic pill!
I made it cause i was willing to kill!
Cause i got real. Real with myself.
Real with responsibility. Real with belief.
Real with work. HARD WORK!
Not talking, but doing. Not lip service, but real purpose!
Hard working! Always working!
Never resting. Never settling. Never stopping
There’s not one reason, there’s many.
I can tell you the secret… it’s simply called HARD WORK!
I made it.
You didn’t!
You made excuses.
I didn’t!
I grew.
You didn’t!
I sacrificed.
You didn’t!
You made excuses.
I didn’t!



2. "I won't do that... because here I have plenty of obstacles."


- He is watching... they are watching...

Nah... nah... nobody gives a fuck.. it's a scrutiny

3. "Give me one more chance... next time I am going to do it."

- Why you don't go there and say to that girl

"Fuck you..."
"I want to fuck you in your hot legs... I want to fuck your feet..." -
Say it... you gonna get slapped... but at least to done something,
right?




4. "Not now... later..."

- Ohhh... god ... a lie...

why you don't say never?
...

Say never or not later... you won't really do it.. later...

if you are like me... I know you very well.


5. "It's not big deal I really don't need it..."

- Yes you need it... if you really didn't need it.... why in first place
did you even come here and start reading this book... and it's
contents?
...
This book knows who you are...

...

6. "I won't do it... I done it once... I can't do it one more time."

- Start acting dominating

- Not in weak way... but a way in which you are self-confident...
you belief in what you say...

7. "It's enough..."

- Enough of porn.. - yes... but not enough of girls... cherish this
idea.



...

Just take one day... re-think all this and in other day... start applying
this... before I got in this worst state
aka watching porn... aka... bad with girls
...

I was social... I know what happen... I thought that by staying and

playing games... my life will improve... but what happen... is just it
made me social awkward....

and made me crave for content... aka theory... than action... -
aka practice.


Chapter 8.1 - Path Of Addiction

Struggling? Here Is Some Great News About Your Brain

We’ve mentioned so far how porn can impact the brain in a
negative way. Some people might wonder, “If my brain is involved in
this problem, is change even possible?” After what might be a long
time struggling for some of you, we don’t blame you for asking. If
you’re feeling especially discouraged about change, this is for you.
Sometimes just having someone say, “Hey, don’t give up!” isn’t
enough. So today, we’ve got another concrete, rock-solid reason for
you to stay hopeful. Are you ready?
Here it is: your brain is remarkably, surprisingly changeable. Did
you know that? Almost no one knew just how malleable and pliable
the brain was until the 1990s when some new scientific discoveries
took place.
Researchers used to believe the brain was pretty much fixed and
unchangeable. People knew that the brains of younger children
changed, of course, but the belief at the time was that once you
became an adult, your brain was set in place with fixed
neurochemical levels and stable pathways. Basically, this meant if
someone’s brain got messed up along the way, people expected the
damage to remain permanent for the rest of someone’s life.
Scientists simply don’t believe this anymore. The biggest discovery
in neuroscience in the last two decades is a juicy
word: neuroplasticity, neuro meaning “brain” and plasticity meaning
“changeability.” Neuroplasticity refers to your brain’s ability to
change with each thing you do. Like a never-ending game of Tetris,
the brain is constantly putting down new layers and pathways based
on the choices we make.
Each time we learn something new or experience something
different, a fresh connection is forged in the brain—with constant
rewiring happening all the time.
 Over a long period of time, pornography use can start to literally
rewire the brain, making it more and more difficult for any one of us
resist using. But the opposite is also true! As we begin to live
differently, we forge new pathways in the brain. As we leave negative
habits behind, these old pathways get grown over like a boring
hiking trail no one uses anymore.
All this is another reason we’re here to tell you: you can do
this! No matter how deep you are into this stuff and no matter how
long you’ve been struggling, there is hope. As long as you don’t give
up the fight, and as long as you don’t try to do this alone, your brain
can totally change and rewire itself back to a healthy state over
time.
And THAT is just one more reason to celebrate…and get excited
about what lies ahead for you!
Are you ready to make the change? GET STARTED TODAY





How Self-Esteem Issues May Be Fueling Your Struggle With Porn


Do you ever wonder how you reached this point in life? After all,
nobody plans out their life as a kid, and says, “I sure hope I develop
a pornography addiction!” Of course not! And yet, here we are. What
do you think has brought you to this point?
Many factors come into play, of course, but we’re going to focus
on one in particular: self-esteem.

How Does Self-Esteem Fuel Addiction Exactly?

Did you know that low self-esteem can actually make you more
vulnerable to addictive behaviors? Why do you think that is? After
you think about it for a second, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?
The worse you feel about yourself, the more you’re going to seek
out ways to feel accepted, important, and in control. Often, we turn
to pornography because it gives us a false sense of connection with
those on the computer screen. However, by turning to pornography
or any other potentially addictive behavior to escape from feelings of
worthlessness, we are actually pouring fuel on the fire.
One guy who struggled with low self-esteem and pornography
addiction described the vicious cycle that the two conditions created
this way: “It’s funny. Because of my low self-esteem, I found myself
turning to pornography for relief, but afterward, I would actually
feel worse, and my self-esteem would get even lower. So without
seeing the connection between the two, I would turn back to the very
thing that was making it worse.”
His observation is consistent with the ironic pattern that many
have experienced for themselves: turning to things like alcohol, street
drugs, or pornography for relief from depression, loneliness, or self-
hatred pushes individuals deeper into those same emotional ruts.
The deeper we go, the more intensely we look for an escape. Do you
see the downward spiral?

A Vicious Cycle Of Self-Loathing

Due to this pattern, our sense of purpose and self-worth can take
a beating in any negative habit or addiction. When we’re giving our
brain a dopamine rush over and over in response to an image, what
do you think happens when we get up from our chair and turn back
to real life?
That’s right, it’s boring! Think about it. Real life can sometimes
seem dull when compared to those videos and images. We can start
to feel less and less enthusiastic about anything, and that includes
ourselves—our worth and well-being.
People whose habits have progressed to pornography addiction
simply stop caring much about their own lives. They report feeling a
loss of their sense of hope, purpose, and meaning in life.
And the cycle continues. This low mood then sets us up to think
we want and need more of that artificial dopamine rush of
pornography. After all, when any of us feel low and terrible, we’re
going to want relief.
And when we try to escape those bad feelings through
pornography or other harmful substances, we’re launching into the
addiction cycle we discussed earlier. Is there another way to handle
this emotional pain?

Take A Different Approach— Acceptance

What if we saw a low mood or a feeling of hopelessness as an
alarm system going off in the body? When your finger touches a hot
stove, the pain you feel hurts — but it’s also telling you something,
right? It’s telling you to take your finger off the hot stove! What if
your body didn’t send you this message? We would have far more
serious injuries and probably be missing a few limbs, wouldn’t we?
It’s a good thing we feel pain because it helps us make adjustments.
Instead of trying to force feelings by simply saying, “You’re great,
just tell yourself that,” we’re talking about going to work building a
life you can believe in, a life where you are offering something to the
world, where your energies matter, where you are making a
difference for someone. As you do so, it will change everything.
You’ll notice a deep sense of purpose and contribution.
For many who face serious addiction, spirituality— whatever you
define that to be— can also play a crucial role in finding freedom.
Many find strength in turning to a higher power. If this is something
that works for you, use it!
While it’s important to break free from a habit like this, having
light to fill the void in your life that pornography used to fill is what
is really going to give you meaning and purpose.


Note: Reading, watching videos about the bad sides of porn is
very beneficial in your recovery. So what you need first to
understand is the main problem, from where did it came then you
need to find out what really happens to your brain and as last steps
no more excuses, action + replace this habbit with new habbit.



4 Scientific Studies That Prove Porn Can Be Beaten


We talk a lot about the doom and gloom of porn addiction. How
it will affect our brains, ruin relationships, etc, etc. That information
can be important and help us create better strategies for our
recovery but let’s be honest; it can also be really depressing. So let’s
look at the other side of the equation, most of the science that
supports how harmful porn can be also proves that recovery is
possible. More than possible; biological.

Once porn is left behind, the brain pathways it created will start
to fade. ● Doidge, Norman. The Brain that Changes Itself. New
York: Viking, 2007. —

Have you heard the “feed the right wolf” analogy? If not, it’s
pretty simple.
If there are two metaphorical wolves locked in a power struggle,
you can decide the outcome by choosing to feed one or the other. As
one influence or “wolf” becomes stronger the other becomes weaker.
This is exactly what happened when we started getting involved with
porn, we kept feeding it and it got stronger. If we turn the tables it
can be our way out.
As we build positive influences into our lives and gain more and
more distance from pornography the pathways in our brain that tell
us we need it will start to shrink. It will be slow but it will happen.

When a brain that has become accustomed to chronic

overstimulation stops getting that overstimulation,
neurochemical changes in the brain start happening. As a result,
many users report withdrawal symptoms. ● Avena, N. M. and P.
V. Rada. “Cholinergic modulation of Food and Drug Satiety and
Withdrawal.” Physiology & Behavior 106, no. 3 (2012): 332–36.
—

This might sound bad but it is actually very good. Like a

marathon runner who learns to love the burn because it means they
are growing stronger and faster we can celebrate the pain.
Withdrawal sucks and it can be frustrating but it means our brain is
changing. Instead of looking at it as evidence of how messed up you
are think of it like burning calories or soreness after a workout.
And guess what? People have found that when they approach
their withdrawal symptoms with this type of positivity they find
them less powerful and shorter. So it’s a win-win.

The brain can regain sensitivity to healthy, everyday activities. ●

Lisle, Douglas and Alan Goldhamer. The Pleasure Trap.
Summertown, TN: Healthy Living Publications. —

One of the main parts of our brain that is affected by porn use is
our reward center. Basically what happens is that thing gets over-
clocked. This results in it producing less of the the “happy chemicals”
(dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, etc) and also becomes less
responsive to them. Which means it takes more to make us feel
good.
If we eliminate porn as our main source of these chemical releases
our brain will start looking for new ones. We need start to
connecting to positive things in our live that support our physical,
emotional, mental and social health. These connections might start
off small but they will grow and eventually replace the old neural
pathways.

Research indicates that damaged frontal lobes can recover once

constant overstimulation stops. ● Kim, Seog Ju, In Kyoon Lyoo,
Jaeuk Hwang, Ain Chung, Young Hoon Sung, Jihyun Kim, Do-
Hoon Kwon, Kee Hyun Chang, and Perry Renshaw. “Prefrontal
Grey-matter Changes in Short-term and Long-term Abstinent
Methamphetamine Abusers.” The International Journal of
Neuropsychopharmocology, 9 (2006): 221–28.

Addiction can cause actual brain-damage, the most common of

which is frontal-lobe shrinkage. This is the part of the brain that
deals primarily with choice, logic and reasoning. This change is one
of the main reasons scientists believe addictions can become so
powerful, it’s like we’re missing the part of our brain that helps us
make good choices.
What’s the silver lining?
It grows back!
Like anything it takes time but victory after victory will make a
difference. The coolest part is that as our brain gets healthier it can
theoretically get easier. Recovery teaches us core principles and
builds specific habits that support the development of that decision-
making part of our brain. Think of it like a muscle that gets bigger
and stronger the more you use it.
All it takes is practice.


My Story: The Girl Who Beat Her Addiction To Porn



My story is probably one you’ve heard a thousand times. When I
was way too young, I heard words I didn’t understand and saw some
things I shouldn’t have. Porn planted a seed in me that grew and
grew until it took over and robbed me of my happiness, my
relationships and countless other things. I found myself repeatedly
seeking things that shocked and disgusted me but I kept going back.
The crazy part was that I was so overwhelmed by the desire for more
that I didn’t even realize what it was doing to my life. It wasn’t until
a role model from my church taught us about the harmful effects
about pornography that I realized I had a problem. It was the first
time someone talked to us girls about it openly and honestly. It hurt
to understand what I was doing to myself but it was just what I
needed to understand I really needed to change.

After this realization, it still took me a while to understand I could
not beat this alone. My family relationships had always been rocky
so I turned to a trusted leader. I remember him telling me that I
would always be tempted by porn but if I could really work at it,
those feelings would grow smaller and smaller. This actually inspired
me. It wasn’t rainbows and sunshine—it was real hope. He became
my accountability partner and we met regularly to review my
progress. He always believed that I could change and he helped me
to believe it myself.

The biggest help to me was my fateful run in with The Fortify
Program. I had somehow found out about Fight The New Drug online
and so it was always all over my Facebook feed. But what really
started a new change in me was when FTND posted something about
their Fortify Program, specifically designed to help teenagers all
around the world like me escape the strangling hands of
pornography. I signed up for admission and was accepted. The
Fortify Program was absolutely amazing for me. It was exactly what
I had been looking for to help me. It shared so many new bits of
information I had never seen and it gave great analogies about the
harmful effects of pornography. It had a setback/victory calendar
that could be filled out daily and any setbacks could be marked with
a how, where, what time, to help you know when I was most
vulnerable. One thing I loved that might not mean much to others
but was encouraging to me was that the marker colors for a setback
is pink and a victory is blue. This is something I loved because it
wasn’t red and green simply representing “bad” and “good.” This let
me know that I wasn’t just passing and failing but that i was slowly
and surely recovering. It was a more subtle message that was
powerful for me. It may seem like a small thing, but for me, it made
a huge impact.

The Fortify Program talked me through new ideas for how to deal
with temptation. It gave detailed information about the addiction
cycle (talk about mind blown) and it gave places for me to write
about my experiences and what I thought about what was being
said. If you reached a certain goal, you got a new badge to motivate
you to keep trying and keep doing better. To sum it all up, I love The
Fortify Program. Without it, my recovery would not have been
anywhere near as rapid or permanent.


 It was a long couple of years. I had a lot of setbacks. I wanted to
cry a lot of the time. I wanted to give up so many times. I wanted to
be done with the struggle and just finally be free. But as difficult as it
was in those times, my hope, my accountability partner, and Fortify
kept me going. I am proud to say that it I am nearly one year porn
free. I have been able to crawl most of the way out of a deep
depression that I had throughout my addiction, and my relationships
with the people around me have gotten much stronger.
If you or someone you know is addicted to pornography and
needs help getting free, the first thing you need to know is that it is
tough. Ending an addiction to pornography is the most difficult thing
I have ever done in my life. But the temporary satisfaction of seeing
a picture on the computer screen is absolutely nothing compared to
the freedom of being able to choose something productive, fun, and
social. It is worth it to have a boyfriend or girlfriend who loves you
for you, and not because he/she just wants to try something he/she
saw in porn. It is worth it to be able to control your emotions around
your family and friends, rather than feeling angry or depressed all
the time. It is worth it to not feel the need to lock yourself in a room
so you and your computer screen can have some privacy. It is worth
it because lasting happiness does not come from a screen, and it
does not come from viewing fake sex from strangers. I promise you,
it is worth it to escape pornography.

Pornography harms. Porn kills love. I know it from personal
experience and I would never go back.
Thank you FTND and Fortify for helping me to change my life for
the better.


Recovery Gets Difficult Sometimes; Here’s How To Handle It


Whenever we begin something new—whether it’s a new school
semester, a new job, or a new relationship—it’s easy to feel excited
and gung ho.

 Then life happens! As time passes, feelings of newness naturally
go away, excitement can settle, and other feelings can arise—
including feelings we don’t always like. School can start to get hard
or boring, a new job can start to feel dull, and a relationship can get
challenging as two people figure out how (and whether) to love each
other when the initial excitement starts to fade.
Something similar can happen while moving through your own
change process. By now, you may have spent some real time making
progress as part of the Fortify community—assuming you haven’t
been rushing too fast! Maybe you felt some excitement as you
started Fortify.

As you’ve learned new things about the brain, tried out new
practices and strategies and created your own Freedom Plan, we’ve
also talked repeatedly about the many reasons for hope in what lies
ahead for you. But what do you think? Is any of this stuff really
going to matter and make a longer-term difference? It’s worth
talking about. As the newness of what you’ve heard dies away, what
will all of this mean—really mean—for your life?

Let’s talk about that a little: the messy, frustrating, up-and-down
parts of this journey we’re on together. After years of this struggle,
someone might look at Fortify and think, “Do these people know
how incredibly hard it is just to start turning away from this stuff?
Do they realize I still can hardly go a week—even a day—without
using?”

Maybe you’ve tried STAR or Urge Surfing and haven’t quite been
able to get them down. And you’re still having a tough time. If that’s
where you’re at, then listen up: we—the people behind Fortify—know
what you’re going through. We know what this is like for you; not
only from reading books, but also from our own lives.

What this means is we are not naive about how hard this can be
for you. We absolutely realize how difficult it can be to move even
just a few steps in the right direction! That’s why we’re not saying,
“Just try harder and this will all go away,” or “Just finish Fortify and
your life will be changed instantly!” We understand that freedom
takes time.

Remember that celebration at the beginning as you started
Fortify for the first time? Those celebrations need to continue each
time you take even a small step forward. And when you fall back?
Well the very next moment can be different – a whole new moment.
The real celebration will come a year from now, three years from
now, and ten years from now, when you will see the results of all
your smaller steps now.

If your desire to stop viewing porn is small and inconsistent today,
don’t worry. It can grow. If you’re streaks of victory are erratic, keep
your chin up. That’s how we all start. And that’s why we’re doing
this together. Trust the practices and ideas we’re exploring together.
And trust the process.
It sounds cliché, but don’t try to fight tomorrow’s battles today.
Take it one moment at a time.


Note: People won't come in home and say... "Yo bro... come over
in my place and we can chat."

Most cases they say "I am pretty busy", "I can't now.."... "Talk to you
later..."

...

And in the day finishes and what we have in our pockets ...
#Nothing.

...

They never call... they always have a reason to explain themself...

and to protect their bold heads.

...
If start caring... stress is what next is going to happen in our mind.




Learning To Live In A Porn-Filled World


For tough moments in this fight, we explore different kinds of
practices to help ground yourself, let urges pass and get back up
again. In some cases, however, something even simpler may be all
you need—you can learn to simply turn away.
You heard us right! When something triggering comes into our
line of sight—especially out of the blue—what about getting good at
that ninja skill of turning away—or what some people call “bouncing
the eyes.”

In Greek mythology, monsters like Medusa were feared because
their powers paralyzed and petrified anyone who gazed upon them
directly. In spite of Medusa’s reputation, people were so awestruck by
her appearance that they said, “Oh, well I’ll be alright if I just look at
her …a little bit.”

In a similar way, people seeking freedom often allow themselves a
gray zone where they flirt with just-a-little sexualized material in
magazines, or on TV, or different general websites.

Setting Some Guidelines

This isn’t about getting fearful or beating on ourselves when we’re
not perfect. But it is about setting our sights higher and adopting a
zero-tolerance mindset. This means getting serious about learning
to bounce your eyes.
What does that mean? Well, you know all those small moments,
when something “technically non-pornographic” comes up? Instead
of letting the eyes linger, what if we learned to literally bounce our
eyes away from what we don’t want to see?
As simple as it sounds, this skill can be honed, polished and
refined as a killer move powerful enough to cut porn off at the pass.

Practice Makes Perfect

For most people, this does take some real practice. Sometimes it
can be helpful to say something out loud, like “Nope, not gonna
happen” or “Not what I want”. Or, you can choose a physical gesture
that is an outward reminder of what you really want— like putting
your hand up, moving your head, or closing your eyes— anything to
help reaffirm your resolve to turn away.
Try thinking of your mind like a stage. There can only one main
act at a time, and you’re the director, off stage, running the show.
You may not always get to decide what thoughts and images go up
on stage at first, but if you don’t like it, you don’t have to sit back
and watch. You decide what you’ll entertain and what you’ll applaud
on the stage of your mind— and what gets booed off in a hurry!
There’s a Chinese Proverb that says, “You can’t stop a bird from
flying over your head but you don’t have to let it build a nest in your
hair!” It’s the difference between having a thought or image that
comes up in the mind (which is not a choice) and focusing and
dwelling on it— which is a choice!

So give it a try: Will you get consumed and stew over something,
or just let it pass?
It Is Never Too Late To Turn Away

Even if you find yourself moving toward the addiction cycle,
remember that you can catch yourself and turn away at multiple
choice-points along the way. Even right before using, many people
describe a moment where there’s a little space inviting you to go in
another direction— a final “turn back” point. Watch for it, it’s always
there!

And when you succeed in really turning away, it’s time to
celebrate! Each time that happens, you’re laying a new pathway in
the brain— and a new powerful habit in your life.

So in other words, even one moment of turning away should be
seen for what it is: Big news! You might even track this as part of
your progress: How many times was I able to turn away today, this
week, this month?
No Matter What, Don’t Give Up

Rather than feeling nervous or worried about moments like this,
maybe it’s time to be confident for the next time you get hit…
realizing you really are on the path to learning how to do this!

If turning away feels challenging, it’s helpful to remember that
this is also about turning toward what you really want. In other
posts, we’ve touched on anchors—people, passions, and purpose—
and what you love more than porn.
As you learn the skill of bouncing your eyes and turning
away, don’t fall apart in a moment where you mess up.
Learn from it. And turn back to the life you really want.
Again and again. Sooner or later, that habit will become stronger
than whatever else has been driving you.
 We’re rooting for you!

(Note: So that happen....

...

....

Something motivated you to go in your room... something in your

mind strike to start a porn video and after few you are on... your TV
Was on... and your computer monitor was on... and what next was
comming on the way... was from a result of a thought.)




 How You Can Help Unmask The Porn Industry’s Dirty Secret


One reason porn has spread across the world is that its core
“message” is so attractive. It goes something like this: “No matter
what you’re feeling or facing, come join the fun! Why waste time
with the dreariness of normal life, when you can join in so much
happiness and good times with simple click of a mouse?”

If that were all true, it would be pretty hard to resist accessing all
of that with a simple click. Pretty no-brainer, right?
Maybe that’s why the industry works so hard to convince people this
is all true— “preaching” the message that porn is all about happiness
and fun.

Unmasking the Industry’s Secret

From the outside, pornography certainly looks like a fantasy
world of pleasure and thrills with participants seeming to experience
constant bliss and rapture at the highest of levels.
But check out how one porn star described her experience of
working in this[the] “industry of pleasure”:
“I got the *&%$ [crap] kicked out of me . . . most of the girls start
crying because they’re hurting so bad . . . I couldn’t breathe. I was
being hit and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They
kept filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept
going.”

Wow. Really? That sounds extreme. Maybe this is an exception—
just one bad porn studio?
Or maybe it’s not.
You wouldn’t believe how many personal e-mails we’ve received
from former porn stars confirming what we’re about to tell you. One
participant of pornography films told us that she had personally
witnessed “victims and survivors who have been drugged and forced
into this ugliness against their will” adding, “I realize that this
statement flies in the face of the mainstream … mentality that porn
is voluntary and that ‘she likes it,’ ‘she asked for it’, ‘she chose it.’
Although that may be true for some, many are coerced into
agreeing with whatever their [agent or pimp] says just to stay alive.
We have been humiliated beyond description and carry that with us
24/7. Our minds are numbed and, in many cases, drugged into
stupor…for the painful [use of] our bodies…to be filmed.”

A Trend of Violence and Exploitation

Let’s be very clear—this person is not an unusual, isolated case.
This kind of experience shows up over and over and over in the
industry—and not just in “fringe” porn. In fact, an analysis at the
University of Arkansas of 50 best-selling adult videos showed that
88% of scenes showed aggression towards women – and in many
cases physical aggression and violence.
One woman told us: “The abuse that goes on in this industry is
completely ridiculous. The way [people] are treated is totally sick … I
left due to the trauma I experienced…[after being] beaten half to
death.”
So if porn hurts people this bad, why would people ever get
involved in the first place?
For some of the actors and actresses, they are told this is their
ticket to high-class living and even celebrity status. Once they start
filming and getting involved, that’s when the forcing starts. Many
former porn stars talk about being booked to do a scene only to
have conditions changed on the spot, which often led to horrific
experiences with brutal, unprotected sex.
In order to prevent the police and the public from finding out about
these situations, we’ve been told that it’s common for agents or
pimps or employers to use intimidation or blackmail as weapons to
silence the participants. They also crop out the especially severe
physical and emotional pain actors experience.

Doctors are also employed by the industry to “watch over” the
actors and actresses – and prescribe whatever they need to numb
out and suppress the pain. Former participants told us:
“It’s an empty lifestyle trying to fill up a void…. Seventy-five
percent [of porn stars] . . . are using drugs. They have to numb
themselves to go on set. The more you work, the more you have to
numb yourself.”

Understanding the Magnitude of Global Slavery and Trafficking

You might be thinking, “OK, so if it’s really this bad, why
would anyone stay involved?”
This is where it starts to get shocking to the point of almost being
unbelievable. But we need to talk about this…
By now, you’ve almost certainly heard of human trafficking- the
trading of actual human beings who are coerced or forced into a
literal modern slavery for different reasons – including and
especially for sexual purposes.
It’s hard for most people to understand how something like this
can exist in the modern world. Didn’t we get rid of slavery in most
parts of the world a long time ago? Sadly, rather than fading into
history, sex trafficking only seems to be growing. The overall human
trafficking problem is estimated by the United Nations to be a $32
billion per-year industry that ensnares many millions of people
around the world—including young boys and girls. The majority of
trafficking victims (79%) are exploited sexually in different ways,
including being forced into doing porn.
When these individuals experience pain in the filming, their lives
are often threatened if they show pain on camera. So they are again
forced to make it look like they are enjoying what they are doing.

You Can Make A Difference

If this is where the pain stopped, it would be bad enough. But
think for a moment about how many people who end up watching a
video like this decide to try it out with vulnerable people in their own
lives. I mean, let’s stop pretending it’s a mystery where some of this
abuse is coming from.

Of course, not everyone in the industry experiences these same
awful things. And obviously yes – for some, it is a conscious decision
to get into the porn industry. But what about those who did not
choose this life?
What are we going to do about them?
How about this: let’s stop fueling this horrific problem. Rather
than spending another day or hour or minute supporting this
industry, let’s take a stand and do whatever it takes—for as long as it
takes—to say goodbye forever to a system that is literally destroying
and enslaving human lives all around the world.
Let’s do this. It’s too important to ignore.

Note: People don't give a weak a chance... they give to the most
strongest people.

...

School is a aggressor, stressor

Securing Your Home Base In the Fight Against Porn

Have you ever played the game Sim City, where you’re the
supreme ruler? Well, it’s up to you what happens with your
imaginary world when it comes to food, trade, employment,
development, and all sorts of other stuff.
Imagine, though, just for a moment, if the game took a turn to
the dark side and your new mission was to create a society that sets
people up for addiction. And just for fun, let’s be more specific and
focus on pornography addiction. Are you up for it? Okay, let’s do
this:
First of all, let’s remove as many barriers as possible finding a
way to make porn free and quickly available in every single home.
Even better—how about portable access wherever people go?
Second, let’s surround people (especially young people) with
messages that make porn seem completely normal—even healthy!
And above all, we’ve got to find ways to discourage people from
connecting on a deeper, emotional level. That could ruin our plan, so
we’ve got to do whatever it takes to make them avoid real intimacy.

This Game Is Real

Well, the thing about this “game,” as you’ve probably noticed, is
that this isn’t actually a game. The society we currently live in is
setting people up to struggle with pornography.
Now if that’s true, then maybe it’s not about you or me being
weak? In fact, you’ve got to be pretty strong to rebel against a force
sweeping so many people away, right? Instead of just fighting inner
weakness, then, maybe we should ask: how are we going to live well
in this world? Even if nothing changes in the larger society around us,
are there ways to counteract or even neutralize surrounding
influences so we can live the lives we really want?
The Battle Starts at Home

The environment immediately around us—our own home—is, in
most cases, something we have more influence over. What happens,
though, when the places that are supposed to be our safe-havens
have become compromised?
Everyone needs places of real safety. No army, however it tough
may be, has ever won a war without places of refuge and
rejuvenation. Like a smoker trying to quit in a house of smokers, it’s
hard to find real freedom from this stuff when you’re surrounded by
sexualized media all the time.
If your army had been infiltrated with spies, your first question
would be: How are they getting in? Where are we vulnerable to
future attacks?
In the battle against porn, you can ask a similar question: How
has porn infiltrated your home now or in the past? What kind of
triggers surround us on a daily basis?
Make Specific Goals

Start by making an inventory of what’s going on around you day
by day—the people and situations surrounding yourself at school or
work or home. By knowing the details and patterns of your life, you
can discover where you are vulnerable. Although it’s nice to believe
that ‘we’re strong enough,’ this is about being aware of our
limitations– that for instance, you may not be someone who can
spend lots of time surfing the internet randomly.
Based on this, you can then work to create a firewall between you
and porn – and we mean more than just a technological firewall.
This includes your set of rules, practices and routines that make your
living environments—especially your home-base— start to “work for
you.”
One individual decided his bedroom would become a “screen-free
zone” without cell phones, computer or a TV allowed. He told us, “It
just creates a safe space in your house and whenever you’re anxious,
stressed, tired, you can retreat to your bedroom and not worry
about relapsing there.” He said it was a game changer for him, and
added that it also helped him sleep better.

Do Whatever It Takes

It would be easy to make a half-hearted effort at this—but we’re
encouraging you to give this a real shot. Imagine for a moment
having a broken door at home, the same door where you’ve been
attacked over and over. How committed do you think you would be
to fixing that door and installing deadbolts and security systems?
You may have to be bold in our efforts to stop the porn
infestation in your home, being brutally honest with yourself about
your own home-turf vulnerabilities. Are you willing to make some
hard choices—like moving computers into public places or removing
chatting software? How about getting rid of a friend or switching
jobs?And if there’s porn in your home right now, are you willing to
destroy it?
Compared to the “ah, I can handle it” attitude, this is about a new
awareness of our limitations and how much we can face before we’re
overcome. That knowledge allows us to create barriers and
protections we might not otherwise have.
As one author said, “cut out anything within your control that
causes you to stumble. Don’t compromise on the small things. Many
continue to [struggle] because they refuse to adopt a take-no-
prisoners approach.” Take drastic measures to achieve your goals. Be
bold. Don’t sacrifice what you want most for what you want now.
 Let’s do this. It’s time to make your home environment work for
you—rather than the other way around.



Building Your Porn-Free Future, One Day At A Time

For many Fortifiers, it can feel like they’ve been on this journey to
freedom for an incredibly long time, with no light at the end of the
tunnel. Some people think that this will always be the case—that
you’ll always struggle with pornography. Do you believe that? We
don’t! With a smart, focused effort, you can get to a place where you
no longer struggle and eventually feel completely free from your
addiction.
The Future Is Promising

Amazingly, the brain is capable of healing itself and erasing those
years of damage, thanks to a fascinating characteristic
called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity (“neuro” meaning brain, and
“plasticity” meaning changeability) refers to your brain’s ability to
change with each thing you do. Like a never ending game of Tetris,
the brain is constantly putting down new layers and pathways based
on the choices we make. Over a long period of time, for instance,
pornography use can start to literally rewire the brain, making it
more and more difficult for any one of us resist using. But the
opposite is also true! As we begin to live differently, we forge new
pathways in the brain. As we leave negative habits behind, these old
pathways get grown over like a boring hiking trail no one uses
anymore.

Related: How To Change Your Brain

If the actual physiological patterns in our brain can change, what
does that mean about other patterns in our behavior, thoughts, and
even our desires? You got it—they can also change and evolve over
time. Although you may still have more vulnerability to pornography
than someone else, over time, the weight of a destructive habit can
eventually get lighter and lighter to the point where you don’t even
feel its presence in your life.

How To Get Started

If you’re serious about pursuing this deeper level of change and
freedom, then it’s time to take this to the next level of the fight.
What exactly do we mean? Rather than hacking at the branches of
this problem, let’s dive deeper, getting at the roots of your challenge
in a way that will help you move out of this trap for good.
Think about the last time you were in a dark room. If you wanted
that to change, what did you do? Did you try “turning off” the
darkness? No, of course not.

Obviously, it makes no sense to attempt to make physical
darkness go away by shutting it off—and yet we often assume this
will work with emotional and mental darkness. Rather than trying to
“turn off” the darkness in a room, the answer is turning on a light. In
the laws of the universe, light governs darkness—once light comes,
darkness has to leave. You see, darkness cannot exist where light is.
In fact, darkness, by definition, is the absence of light.

Simply put, if we want to really get away from pornography or
other unwanted sexual behaviors, we can’t focus all our energies on
battling the “darkness” itself. We have to focus some energy, not only
on turning away from porn, but also on turning toward something
else. What if you started filling up your life with other things—
activities and habits that begin to fulfill you—and start to form the
life you always wanted to live? Could moving this direction actually
mean the habit eventually has to leave—each step strangling and
choking its power?

Take It Slow And Steady

You may not even feel like you can leave pornography behind
forever quite yet. But how about dedicating some extra care to how
well you sleep or what you eat? What about your level of exercise?
Or improving the relationships in your life? Even if you can’t walk
away from pornography yet, you can walk toward other changes in
your life that can strengthen you. In a sense, every moment becomes
a chance to move toward or away from this habit.

If you can begin to make these adjustments and you’re serious
about them, your days of pornography use may be numbered
because it can’t withstand a truly healthy, vibrant life. Pornography
habits only survive in emotional darkness and emptiness. As you fill
your life up with good stuff, the pornography habit doesn’t have a
chance!

Related: What Sleep, Food, And Exercise Have To Do With
Recovery

From uplifting books, music, movies, hobbies, and activities to
more connection with friends and family and renewed spiritual
practices, you have lots of options for positive and healthy ways to
focus your time and energy. Filling your life with this kind of light
will mean the darkness will have far less opportunity to bully you.
Ultimately, this is about building a life that’s so good that
pornography becomes a nuisance rather than a temptation.
Bottom line: rather than simply trying to resist pornography,
creating healthy habits and embracing a life that is even better is the
one of the real deeps secret to recovery and freedom







Chapter 9 - Rabbit

(Note: The first step should be from your side... I stopped

watching porn... after my relapse... I used... abundance of the
material and while it's on... I do

something like 20-30... then break 5 minutes... then again and
again and again and again

- That's the way an addiction can be stop....)

... Or let's say this was my case of stopping my addiction.


...



1. DON'T COUNT THE DAYS
 2. DON'T THINK ABOUT PORN
3. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
4. IF YOU FEEL BORED... GO START SEARCHING EXTREME STUFF
(COME ON... IF YOU ARE ON THE EDGE OF A

50 Story Building

like this ... I doubt that somebody from you will start jerking
off...)

5. Randomnize (Do random stuff..)
6. Reward yourself
7. Don't OVERTHINK



4 Choice Points: Learning to Escape the River of Porn Addiction


As the momentum of past experiences drags a person towards
using again and again and again, it’s understandable that any of us
can start to feel a bit hopeless. After months and years of being
pulled into the cycle, it can feel like there’s no way out. No options,
no way forward.
When you’re in the middle of the currents of a strong cycle, that
feels true—especially when you’re not even aware of what’s
happening. It’s one thing to be stuck in a strong river current; it’s
entirely different to be lost in something you didn’t even recognize as
a river!
But what if you did realize you’re in a cycle that’s leading you in
circles? What if someone handed you a paddle and started showing
you where you were going wrong—and how exactly to escape for
good?

Escape Is Possible

Like a prison that seems impossible to escape, if you watch and
listen carefully, there are places to chip away and finally break out
of it. These moments of possible freedom can arise at different times
and in moments that will surprise you. As you take advantage of
these escape routes, you will find more and more opportunities to
slip out of the tight hold of the addiction prison and walk free.
Victor Frankl, a renowned therapist and Holocaust survivor, once
said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space
is our power to choose our response, and in our response lies our
growth and our freedom.” This may sound strange at first, but read it
once more—and think about what this means for you: “Between
stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to
choose our response, and in our response lies our growth and our
freedom.”

If you’re like most people, it can be hard to find any spaces or
options in our struggle. Like being caught in a riptide, it can seem
easier to just give up, and let the current take us for a ride. It’s no
wonder we get discouraged!

Understanding Choice Points


Are you ready to get back on dry land? You’ll notice at least four
choice points throughout the cycle that give us moment-by-moment
opportunities to step out of the river’s momentum and move in
another direction toward freedom. In a way, they act like branches or
rocks along the river bank, giving us something to grab and stop the
momentum that pulls us along.
Let’s walk through the points of the addiction cycle, and learn
how you can use those choice points to escape the pull of this river.

Choice Point 1: Before You Rationalize

Imagine you’re feeling anxious, hungry, bored, tired, or sad, and
you decide you want a distraction. So, you get on the Internet—not
to search for porn, of course….just to browse. But then you start
scanning for things that feel exciting and a thumbnail for a triggering
Youtube video catches your eye. A thought comes, Oh, it’s not a big
deal, or, This doesn’t hurt anyone.
Depending on what happens in that moment, our discomfort can
grow and get worse over time – or the opposite can happen. We can
learn new, creative ways to work with discomfort in a way that
softens and alleviates it over time.
Will we choose to try and push away or escape from challenging
feelings – trying to make ourselves feel good right now! OR, will we
turn to other things that help us work through tough moments such
as talking with friends, getting outside, reading something or finding
some quiet time?
For the sake of this illustration, let’s pretend that the current
pushes you past this first choice point, and you open that triggering
Youtube video.

Choice Point 2: Before The Ritual Begins

 At that moment, another choice point exists. Of course, if you
don’t see what’s going on and instead go along with it, more
thoughts will pile on: You know, everyone’s into this. No one’s going
to find out about this. This is going to be totally fine. This will be the
last time!
But if you’re paying attention, this moment presents another
possibility of freedom—another chance to step away from this
all. If these thoughts and feelings were undeniable, natural urges,
well then of course, there’s little sense in resisting. But what if they’re
more like a programmed script that is being fed to you, a script you
can notice and reject? For now, just realize that you just discovered
another moment of possible freedom – another place where you
don’t have to be blindsided anymore. Another choice
point: “Hmmm…that’s just a thought. Just a feeling. No thanks!”

Choice Point 3: Before Using

Right before using, there’s another choice point waiting for you.
Many people struggling with pornography or other unwanted sexual
behaviors report that in the moment right before using there is one
last impulse to stop – a thought or feeling they have to push away
to keep going: “Is this what I really want?” As you begin to pay
closer attention to the details of your experiences, you can pinpoint
where you are in the momentum of this cycle and notice the choice
points all along the way.
Watch those thoughts – as well as others that can come up too: Is
this really what you want to do? Do you really have to continue? In
that very moment, you can still answer: No! This is not what
I really want….

And look, even if you keep going, there are still choice-points
available—possibilities of turning away sooner rather than
later: “Hey, I’m better than this!”

Choice Point 4: Before The Cycle Repeats

Remember: it’s never too late to catch yourself and step away.
And check it out: that includes the moment after you’ve started to
use! When you fall, you might be tempted to think, There, now
you’ve blown it; no use holding back anymore. You’ve done it again.
Of course, the earlier you respond in the cycle, the easier it will be
to take a step back and move in another direction.
Freedom Takes Time
If and when setbacks happen, pay attention to the details of your
experience and watch for lessons and insights along the way: How
do I feel after using? What else in my life keeps pushing me back into
the cycle?
While deep habits won’t likely change overnight, trust us: they
can and will change over time. As you keep watching your experience
carefully, learning all you can and doing your best to make strategic
adjustments in your life as a whole, you can gain more and more
strength over time: strength to decide you won’t be dragged around
anymore, strength to insist on the life you really want, and strength
to not be bullied or forced against your will.

Are you ready to get out of the river?


...

YOu should see this whole as a addiction... by doing that move you
are one step away from the problem...
Then you should see how this addiction makes your life worser
than it should be.



So here is mine story:

I never saw that as the problem ... I saw it as normal... plenty of
people were saying that it's normal...

So most scenarious you go home... you lock yourself up in your
room and starting jerking off...

so here it happens... the horrible and non logical path... jerking
off like some kinda screw up person... hands covered with cum or in
other case my desk was getting covered with cum. ... I thought it as
normal, because

1. My mom said it's normal
2. I got a book which was telling me how good is masturbating.
3. Plenty of people at school were doing it
...

It's enough evidence which could motivate me to do it...

Which put us in: We as human beings we search people which are
doing the same activity... we don't want to be looners... alone... so
when we do it...
...

It strikes a thought... that if we do it... we gonna end up in a group...

if we don't we will end up alone... but still


...



This is what we see on our screen... a damn good image... which
makes our mind to think that we are the male or female in this +18
video, image... but when we start jerking off/ masturbating.. we start
feeding our brain with false perception... first... 2,3...4...5... it feels
okay... and as inoccent as you think it can be... but then comes 20-
25... then.... 30-35... then around 40-45... around roughly said...
cum comes out... that's the moment when we feel less horny and
more likely:




...

Shameful, guilty and starting giving false promises... - to our
selfs

- We won't do it again
- We will stop it
and so on and so on






- By addiction you weaken your insticts... once weaken you get
vulnerable



Top 25 At-Home Exercises


Life can get busy, and oftentimes we find ourselves traveling or
otherwise unable to get to our preferred health and fitness facility
for a workout. ACE Certified Professional Ted Vickey offers these 25
moves to help you stay on track, no matter where you find yourself.
Using only your own body weight, these versatile moves can help
you create a total-body workout that fits your needs and abilities.

1. Supermans
Who doesn't want to think they have super powers? Great
stretch as well when you picture trying to touch the opposing
walls with your fingers and toes.
View Exercise »
2. Push-up
The Push-up is an oldie but goodie. You can modify intensity
by changing hand placement.
View Exercise »
3. Contralateral Limb Raises
Don’t let the name scare you – this is great for toning those
troubling upper body areas.
View Exercise »
4. Bent Knee Push-up
A great starting option if you struggle with the correct form
using a full Push-Up.
View Exercise »
5. Downward-facing Dog
Slow and controlled movement very important – wonderful
calf stretch.
View Exercise »
6. Bent-Knee Sit-up / Crunches
Most people don’t know how to perform a proper sit-
up/crunch – that is until now. Core Power!
View Exercise »
7. Push-up with Single-leg Raise
A great progression from a regular Push-Up but remember to
keep proper form.
View Exercise »
8. Front Plank
This is harder than it looks! Your back and abs will love you.
View Exercise »
9. Side Plank with Bent Knee
Great way to add in hips work without the need for any
equipment other than your own body weight.
View Exercise »
10. Supine Reverse Crunches
Advanced crunch that targets the entire core region. If you feel
pain in your back – STOP.
View Exercise »
11. Cobra
This is my “good morning, time to wake up” exercise – great
way to get ready for a busy day.
View Exercise »
12. Squat Jumps
A bit of heart rate work while working on total body
movement.
View Exercise »
13. Forward Lunge
If I could only do one leg exercise for the rest of my life, a
lunge would be my choice.
View Exercise »

14. Forward Lunge with Arm Drivers

Start with the regular lunge and work up to this advanced
exercise hitting some core areas.
View Exercise »
15. Glute Activation Lunges
Often missed, this Gluteus workout is the MAXIMUS.
View Exercise »
16. Glute Bridge
Real people do yoga – and this is a great entry exercise to the
power of slow and controlled movements.
View Exercise »
17. Hip Rotations (Push-up Position)
I’ve always had problems finding a good hip exercise – do this
before any push-up exercises so you can stabilize your body
before fatigue.
View Exercise »
18. Side Lunge
Advanced in terms of needing to include some movement into
what becomes a static pose.
View Exercise »
19. Side Lying Hip Abduction
A common mistake is raising the leg too high in this exercise.
Small but effective movement.
View Exercise »
20. Side Lying Hip Adduction
Even smaller movement than Abduction but equally important.
View Exercise »
21. Side Plank (Modified)
Advanced exercise that brings together a combination of core
exercises. If you feel joint pain, STOP.
View Exercise »
 22. Side Plank with Straight Leg
Don’t forget to breathe on this exercise – exhale on the
exertion.
View Exercise »
23. Single Leg Stand
I do this one while brushing my teeth in the morning – some
call it crazy, I call it multi-tasking.
View Exercise »
24. Standing Calf Raises - Wall
My shins are my weak points, thus finding a great exercise like
this to improve that area is important.
View Exercise »
25. Supine Pelvic Tilts
May not look like an abdominal exercise, but you will feel the
burn after a set of these.
View Exercise »

Chapter 9.1 - Fake Life (Fantasies... Imaginations) [Part 1]

Life is not about:



The whole thing that you say:

- Just few games
- Just two films
- Just for few hours
- Just to see few pornographic images
- Just to read few pages of a book
...

Games are not just games... they consume your time.

Just two films ... in the end... it's around 4-5 PM... which means
it's around 16:00 or 17:00...

- Too Late for outside

- Too late to go backward
- Too late to change that

 So you stay at home... bored, fulfilled with anxiety... within it
there is depression... And that kind of feeling which makes you
distant from the world.

And what happen... you pull of the trigger!

And that happens... just look what happen your dick is up and
ready to strike the cumshot... your brain is saying
...














GO ON
GO ON
GO ON
GO ON

...

YOUR MIND CAN'T REASON WITH YOUR ADDICTION
...

YOU FEEL LOCK IN CAGE... YOU CAN'T MAKE A DECISION...

AFTER ALL THE GAMES LOST YOUR TIME IT'S TOO LATE FOR OUT
YOUR PARENTS WON'T LET YOU
OUT
FILMS - THE SAME IMAGE AND HERE
TV SERIES THE SAME AND HERE
TV SHOWS - THE SAME AND HERE
...

AND WHAT HAPPENS YOU COULD START BEATING UP EVERYONE
AND THIS TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER OR IN OTHER CASES TO START
FUCKING WITH YOURSELF BY
...

MASTURBATING... THIS IS SELF-TORTURE

THIS IS SELF-TORTURE


THIS IS SELF-TORTURE


THIS IS SELF-TORTURE


THIS IS SELF-TORTURE


THIS IS SELF-TORTURE


THIS IS SELF-TORTURE

- read it few times just read it... there is a message within that


Porn

- Watching one, two videos... or few images...

FUCKING LIE

- YOu ain't gonna do that for few minutes... what you are saying
is lieing... you gonna escalate this whole behavior... from simple like

seeing a image... will end up in more disgusting images... which
will end up into watching videos... and up to masturbating.

That's the whole mindset... all starts from a small thought and it
gets deeper and deeper


Books

Are depressing... you read what somebody has done... will do...
but in the end you end up in one spot... no move at all...

READ
READ
READ

theory
...

But you need practice... as you follow this book... it's time to change
your mindset.


Your father, mother, grand father, mother, teacher or whoever you
know won't come to you... and say that masturbating is bad.
THat it effects life... it makes you anxious, depressed, it will ruin
your communication skills... and will self-destroy you... Like all
other addictions...

Slowly and genuine

If they come great... this is called a luck... but if they don't it's
very bad




Note: If you know somebody who have addiction with
masturbating... give him this book.
...
But still don't give him a book which will make him proud about
this addiction... to masturbate isn't a state of being proud it's a state
which ruins you inside...


The Porn Addiction Spectrum: What It Means And Where You Fit


With more and more talk these days about “porn addiction,” you
might be wondering whether that even applies to you. You may be
asking yourself, “Do I have an addiction?”
Many people tend to talk about addiction like a light switch that
is either on or off—either you’re addicted or you’re not.
Researchers have actually found that pornography habits—like
other problems—fall along more of a spectrum. This makes sense,
since our body, minds and past experiences are all unique.

On one end of the spectrum is, “I’m free and I don’t even think
about it” – and on the other end is feeling completely stuck. No one
is fixed in a certain place on the spectrum, but we also don’t slide up
and down this continuum quickly.
That’s because of the brain’s ability to develop habits, which are
defined as a behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become
almost involuntary.

Rather than an on-off light switch, forming habits is more like a
dimmer switch that gradually changes from light to dark and back
again—leading both your brain and behavior in a certain direction
over time.
If that’s true, then maybe freedom won’t necessarily come all at
once, although it can happen that way for some. While staying open
to exciting shifts, these insights about the brain and body can invite
us to stay patient in the change process and encourage us to
welcome small, gradual changes as part of our journey to eventually
reaching lasting freedom.

Where Are You On The Addiction Spectrum?

Rather than only asking “Do I have an addiction?”, the better
question is, “How deep of a habit have I formed?” Or “where am I on
this addiction spectrum?”
One way to answer that is to ask, “how long have I been using
pornography – a couple of months, a year, multiple years?”
Obviously, that has an impact on the depth of the habit.

Another thing to ask yourself is “how often do I turn to porn –
occasionally, regularly or frequently?”
For some people, they may go a long while – even months,
without turning to porn – but eventually, they go back to it. We
would call those occasional users. Other, more regular, users may
have a hard time staying away for a month. By comparison, frequent
users may turn to porn multiple times a week—and on a more
compulsive level.

At this most intense level, the pattern becomes “addictive” or
what the medical field calls “dependency,” which is an irresistible
compulsion that takes priority over almost everything else in life.

There Is Hope

No matter how strong of a habit, realize this: there’s a way out.
Fortify has been designed with this broad spectrum of struggle in
mind—from milder to stronger levels of intensity. And whatever the
details, we’re going to do everything we can to help you create a
plan unique to your own situation—gathering together everything
that may possibly help you, specifically, move towards freedom.
No matter the details, one thing we probably all have in common
is knowing how it feels to be controlled and driven by an outside
force. Even if the label of “addiction” doesn’t apply, getting
completely away from this stuff can be frustrating and even feel
impossible at times.
So what do you say? Have you ever joined a rebellion? Are you
with us?
You make the call. If you’re in, we’re ready!


Level Up: The Quest For A Porn-Free Life


One thing we’ve noticed in some people trying to get away from
porn is a kind of fearful, tense, anxious mindset— a tendency to
constantly be watching out for triggers and stay scared of urges.
Although this kind of vigilance is understandable, but any kind of
a constant, chronic tension can be exhausting, and it may even push
us right back into the problem.
What if there were a way to face and overcome
pornography without so much anxiety or emotional burden? What if
there were a way to approach recovery in an entirely different way?
Research has shown that “gamifying” a tough challenge can
change it in surprising ways. Instead of only viewing recovery as a
heavy burden, we can take a fresh view of our situation as a real-
life, mysterious adventure. Rather than some boring program to “get
through”, maybe we could see this as the ultimate challenge— the
Quest for a Porn-free Life.
This might sound crazy— but hear us out.

1. Embrace Challenges and Quests

One unique thing about a game is that rather than getting
flustered by a challenge, we embrace it. In the face of a difficult
challenge we might usually avoid, the game draws us into another
mindset— one where we can face the obstacle head-on.
If that sounds weird in real life, that’s because it is, at least
compared to how we usually think about hard things. What if we
approached our own challenges like the next intriguing level of a
new video game— just another exciting quest ahead of us?
Even when things look bleak in a game, there’s always a larger
vision that carries you forward, something bigger that reminds you
that life’s not over and there is no reason to be hopeless when a big
challenge hits us.
Instead, the difficulty of a particular day can push you forward,
and make you even more determined to fight until victory is
achieved.

2. Find and Battle the Bad Guys

Bad guys are really what makes a good video game— even while
making the game challenging. In real life, “bad guys” may trigger
urges, decrease our strength to resist or get in the way of continued
growth and well-being.
 One person said that every time he ate junk food, he felt
vulnerable. Another admitted that when she’s physically exhausted
and not sleeping well, her defenses are easily overcome. For a third
individual, getting consumed in the daily news led him into a
vulnerable place.
What are your bad guys? Overworking? Staying up late? Eating
tons of sugar? Watching lots of TV? Reading news for too long? Too
much work? Too little work? Getting angry, depressed, or anxious?
While it’s true we sometimes talk about Porn itself as the Enemy,
think of these things as the minions or storm troopers that
effectively drag us back into battle.

3. Collect and Activate Power-Ups

Anyone serious about beating their mortal enemy needs more
than guts and courage. This means looking around for anything we
can do – even and especially on our worst days.
For some, this could include getting better sleep, or having a killer
meal or an uplifting conversation with a friend. For others, it could
mean a bit of meditation, time in a book or praying. Still for others,
engaging in one of their passions or hobbies does the trick.
Be on the look-out for power-ups in the days and months ahead.
Like most games, your ultimate victory in this fight might depend on
getting replenished – over and over again!

4. Find and recruit your allies

Without allies, all gamers know how crazy impossible it would be
to slay the dragon or beat the end-level dude. In ‘real life,’ that is no
less true, with victory often just-as-dependent on gathering around
us people who understand the challenges we’re facing and “have our
back.”
What do we mean by allies? These are confidantes – insiders who
will assist you in this journey. Allies give you information – and
power-ups. Allies rally to support you. Allies back you up.
Anyone who loves and supports you generally can be a great ally.
And you can decide how much allies know. Check out the ally feature
that helps facilitate communication with your allies – and provides
updates so they can follow your progress and know how you’re
doing.
So be on the lookout for allies right for you – people you trust to
share what you need, and what would be most helpful to you,
personally.

How This Can Help In Recovery

Remember, only boring and meaningless quests that are
accomplished in a few days with little effort.The truly life-changing
ones usually take time, and they take all you can give.
By changing your perspective and looking at recovery as the next
game to be figured out and completed, you will be much better
equipped to conquer the challenges involved. Setbacks will become a
new level to be conquered, triggers will turn into bad guys to be
taken down, and allies will turn into your trusty sidekicks, helping
you every step of the way. By “gamifying” the recovery process, you
can completely revolutionize your path to freedom.
So what are you waiting for? Your new high score awaits.



Why Life Is Better Without Porn


When we spend a lot of time viewing pornography, we often
rationalize why we can’t afford to stop. We say, “It calms and
soothes me”, or “It helps me deal with my problems better”. We think
that a life without porn would be unmanageable, overly stressful, or
emotionally exhausting.

But is that really true? Let’s take a closer look at what porn
actually gives us in the moment. When we try to avoid our stress or
negative feelings through pornography, those feelings are multiplied
and worsened. And when we try to cope with feelings of shame or
loneliness, porn further isolates us from the people we love the most.
 ‘But wait,’ others might say — ‘this really does feel good in the
moment. No matter what happens later, we turn to it because of
what we get in the moment’.

Let’s talk about that for a minute – because it’s true that in the
moment, there is an immediate relief that can come as the craving is
‘satisfied.’ Like a smoker puffing a cigarette, they take a deep
breath…”ahh. I can relax.”
And some would argue that it’s that very moment of relief that
can drive both a smoker and a porn user to keep using for years:
‘Hey, this is how I relax. This is doing something for me.’
Allen Carr, a key figure in the Stop Smoking world, tells people
who smoke, “There is nothing legitimate that a cigarette is doing for
you at all. The apparent ‘relief’ is only a masking of feelings—
pushing them away in a way that complicates them. You are walking
away from nothing valuable”.

Could this same insight help us kick the porn habit for good?
What if the “relief” and “stimulation” we often see porn providing
was only really distracting us from other things happening — like a
mirage covering up the fact that it is making your life harder.
There is a lot more going on in the moment than just “relief”.
Beneath the stimulation happening in the body, we are wreaking
literal havoc in our mind, body, and relationships — deadening the
heart, numbing the body, and alienating relationships.
Pornography is doing absolutely nothing fundamental or real for
us. The only thing it brings into life is heartache, pain, and grief.
When we rid our lives of its influences, there is room for real,
meaningful happiness to take its place.

This point is powerfully illustrated in the experiences of one of our
Fortifiers:

For the 10 years of my addiction, I didn’t pursue my dreams. I
didn’t discover my hobbies. For 10 years I played video games,
watched tv, and watched porn. That was pretty much my life. Yes, I
went out with friends and did social things, but when no one was
around, that’s all I did. Now that porn is out of my life, I can pursue
my dreams again. Before porn, I used to love writing. I abandoned
writing for the high that pornography provided. With my extra time,
I’m beginning to write again. I’m reading a lot too. Reading helps me
grow and develop into a better a person. Reading and writing are
helping me live the life I want to live.
For years I was only attracted to women physically. I don’t
consider that to be true attraction. Now that porn is out of my life,
I’m starting to be truly attracted to women again. Not just attracted
to them physically, but also attracted to them emotionally and
intellectually. I can finally be attracted to woman because of who she
is, not just because of what she looks like.
Porn no longer has any control over me. Porn no longer has any
place in my life. For 10 years I was addicted. Those 10 years of my
life were wasted. Those 10 years of my life vanished before my eyes.
I thought I’d never get out, but [now], I’m free. I’m finally free from
porn. And I’m NEVER going back. -B.
Contrary to what we often tell ourselves, we can’t afford not to
quit watching porn. In reality, the harmful effects of porn far
outweigh any momentary relief that only makes things worse.
So next time that voices to your head saying, “What else makes
you feel this good?!” You can answer, “Peace. Freedom. Relationships.
True intimacy.” Life really is better without porn.




Note: "Relationships, too, are affected by porn use, which makes
sense. Too much stimulation can interfere with what scientists call
pair-bonding, or falling in love. When scientists jacked up pair-
bonding animals on amphetamine, the naturally monogamous
animals no longer formed a preference for one partner.[30] The
artificial stimulation hijacks their bonding machinery, leaving them
just like regular (promiscuous) mammals – in which the brain circuits
for lasting bonds are absent.
Research in humans also suggests that too much stimulation
weakens pair bonds. According to a 2007 study, mere exposure to
numerous sexy female images causes a man to devalue his real-life
partner."

"*
(Age 19) Even though I watched porn I was never really one to want
sex. TWO guys managed to grab my interest. However, I think
porn/masturbation was suppressing my longing to be with either of
them."

"(Age 30) In the past, sex wasn't emotional. On some level it was like
nobody else was there because I was in my own head the whole time
for one reason or another (fantasizing, DE issues, etc...). Girlfriends
during my mid 20's to early 30's just didn't arouse me anywhere close
to what high-speed porn offered, no matter how good they looked. I
didn't recognize these things at the time of course, but since
beginning this journey

4 months ago, I can honestly say I'm shocked how good sex can be
with your girlfriend when you eliminate the constant, steady pattern
of porn use.
*
(200 days) I now have an undeniable sex drive. I want my wife more
than ever. If a long time passes without sex, I feel this thing called
'sexual tension', which is apparently real. I notice things I never
noticed before. Hair tossing, quick glances, breathing patterns, body
language. It is a different world. And let me tell you – when you get
to this point, you really won't care about whatever super-specific
porno fetishes you thought were the only thing you could get off to,
because just the word WOMAN (or man or whatever) will make you
feel urges."


What Sleep, Food, And Exercise Have To Do With Recovery


When you think of ways to help in your fight against
pornography, how often do sleep, food and exercise come up?
 You might be surprised at how often research connects compulsive
patterns to these basic lifestyle factors—especially what we call the
Big Three— sleep, food and exercise. Each of these makes a huge
difference in the quality of our mood and our overall mental and
emotional well-being — including depression and anxiety, or how
well we can focus our attention at any given moment.
But you don’t need any scientist to tell you that. Think of the last
time you binged on sweets or spent the whole day sitting around
inside. When we’re paying closer attention, something that seems
pleasant in the moment can actually really tank our mood over time.
And when we don’t feel well, it’s all too easy to scramble for some
way—any way—to feel better. Let’s take a closer look at each of the
Big Three, and how they can help you on your journey to freedom.

Get Some Sleep

Research studies consistently find that both teenagers and adults
are seriously deprived of sleep. For most of us, we’re simply not
getting what we need.
Sufficient sleep is especially crucial for anyone wanting to find
freedom from addiction. Not only does the brain recharge and repair
during sleep, there are rippling effects that impact the whole body.
Going without sleep has been connected to lower immune function,
serious disease and weight gain – as well as impaired ability to
reason and think clearly.
When you’re tired you’re just not yourself; your brain’s not
running at full capacity.
Bottom line: a tired body and cloudy mind will leave you
vulnerable and less prepared to fight.
Make healthy amounts of sleep a top priority. If anything is
getting in the way of getting enough sleep, take it very seriously,
because if it’s interfering with your sleep, it’s probably messing with
your freedom, too.

Get The Right Fuel

In addition to sleep, another way to recharge your body is to
check out what kind of fuel you’re giving it.
How far would you get in your car if you put maple syrup or
Coca-Cola in the gas tank? It sounds dumb, but let’s be honest: we’re
sometimes just as dumb with our own body by taking in stuff the
body hardly recognizes as nourishment. And then we act surprised
when the body doesn’t run so well…
Want to build strength in this battle? Take a look at the food
you’re taking in.
Rather than only listening to others tell you what to eat, why not
listen to your own body – try paying closer attention to what your
body needs and wants.

Get Moving

Alright, one more example. While recharging your body through
rest and good fuel is important, if you really want to supercharge it,
then try something reallyradical: move around more!
Although there is a lot of discussion about physical activity these
days, we still do a ton of sitting around.
You might be asking what the problem is with sitting so much. So
let’s look at the facts: without enough movement and activity, we are
starving our brain in another way and setting us up for the same old
patterns.
What about the reverse? What if we bumped up our activity level?
In the late 1990s, Dr. Van Praag and his colleagues at the Laboratory
of Genetics at the Salk Institute in San Diego, California, showed that
exercise increases neurogenesis (or the birth of new brain cells).
When you exercise, a flood of oxygen heads to your brain and a
number of other processes are triggered that help your brain grow.
So by exercising, we’re actually rewiring the brain in a healthy way
and giving our brain an extra boost to function at peak performance.

Get Started

Studies are showing that poor health can cause us to be more
susceptible to impulsive decisions. When we are tired, hungry, or in
bed all day, it can be much harder to resist those cravings when they
come. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Even simple
adjustments in the Big Three – sleep, diet and exercise – can super-
charge your path to freedom in surprising ways.
There are countless ways to strengthen your defenses and Fortify
yourself. By recharging your body with the sleep, fuel, and energy it
needs, you can give yourself an even better shot at kicking porn to
the curb, for good. We may not be running this marathon with you,
but we are cheering for you the whole way.





The Science of Getting Stuck



Let’s talk about the brain. It seems like every day, scientists are
discovering another way the brain influences our daily lives –
shaping our choices and ultimately influencing who we become. So
it’s pretty important that we protect the brain.
There are a lot of things that we can do to damage the brain, of
course. We’ve all probably lost a few brain cells, whether from a bad
fall, a helmet-to-helmet hit in football, wrecking hard on a
mountain bike trail, or getting a roundhouse kick to the face by
Chuck Norris. OK, maybe not that last one—you’d be dead.

How It Starts

Think back on a time when you were younger—before you even
saw pornography: Did you feel your day was ruined if you couldn’t
watch porn? Did you feel nervous or uncomfortable, or unable to
concentrate because you couldn’t check out a video?
Of course not!
Your life went on just fine as a non-porn viewer. You were able to
get on with your life without giving the slightest thought to porn.
But then the problem started. And like a new smoker or drinker,
your body got a shock. The reason for this is that pornography is a
powerful example of what scientists call a “supranormal” or “super”
stimulus – something designed to be so artificially intense that it can
quickly overpower and hijack the attention of most human beings.
By “mimicking” real sexual intimacy, pornography – when we let it
in – tricks the brain into releasing powerful neurochemicals like
dopamine into the “reward pathway” of the brain, which is what
provides that momentary rush.
You see, in the beginning, this intense dopamine punch leaves
people feeling a little overexcited, shocked or even sick at first
exposure to porn. Some also report some kind of internal resistance,
like – “I’m not sure about this.”

The Cycle Continues

Over time, as people continue to use, the body gets so used to
that dopamine spike that it starts to demand more and more. It’s
like that guy who ate McDonald’s every meal for thirty straight days
in that documentary Super Size Me. At first, he got really sick, but
after a while, his body got used to the grease and the fat – to the
point where he actually started to crave it.
If your body can start demanding fast food, it’s no surprise that
this can happen with pornography, right? Thus users go from not
needing porn, to trying it, to wanting it, to eventually to feeling like
they need it.
And remember, the brain by this point has become so used to all
that dopamine, that it requires large amounts just to feel a rush
anymore. And that is how addiction gets started. It hijacks your
brain’s natural appetites and slowly starts to take over your life,
robbing you of your freedom to make your own choices.
Not cool!
This is more than just a physiological shift, by the way. As we go
back to something like pornography over and over, our desires,
interests, and motivations also start to change—to the point that a
new appetite begins to emerge….introducing cravings and urges,
until we think we “really want” what we used to be repulsed and
shocked by…

There Is Hope

Notice something important here: we don’t start off loving
porn. We start off trying it. At some point, however, this new
appetite can become almost impossible to distinguish from our own
deeper desires—leading some to just decide, “Hey, this is just what I
want” or “This is just who I am.”
No wonder it’s not so easy to step away from this stuff…we’ve
been trained in another direction – both in our desires and in the
brain itself – to chase after this super stimulus anytime we don’t like
how we’re feeling, anytime we want to escape.
Regardless, the good news is that this process can be reversed. A
good starting point is understanding the basic scientific reasons why
we’re feeling stuck in the first place.
No matter how deep you are into this stuff and no matter how
long you’ve been struggling, there is hope. As long as you don’t give
up the fight…and as long as you don’t try to do this alone…your
brain can totally change and rewire itself back to a healthy state
over time.


Note: Sounds impossible... , but it's possible just build a healthy
habbit, which replaces the bad habbit.



3 Tips To Fight Smarter, Not Harder



Freedom in any form, as you’ve heard before, never comes easy;
there’s always a price.
So what will it take for you to find freedom from your addiction?
It’s not like you haven’t made real efforts before, right? Have you
ever tried to rally yourself into stopping by saying, “Enough! No
more!” attempting some kind of dramatic, night-and-day shift?
 Most of us have. Like the Incredible Hulk, we think we can just
clench our fists, gather our willpower, and suddenly change ourselves
by sheer force. Most of the time, these efforts only make it worse.
Like quicksand, sometimes the harder we struggle against something,
the deeper we’re pulled into it. Instead of making progress, we can
become easily frustrated and discouraged. In a similar way, those
who run directly at a strong habit—trying to battle it back with sheer
willpower and force—almost always become exhausted before long.
For a day or two after a dramatic declaration of “No more!”, we pat
ourselves on the back for being able to control ourselves as this “new
person.” Then, when that new person isn’t looking, we’re often right
back where we started.
Rather than simply “fighting more” or “fighting harder” – this is
about fighting smarter. If you’re serious about getting to a new
place, it’s going to call for a new and different way of fighting. One
that goes deeper than behavior alone, one that takes the full picture
of your life serious – and one that strengthens your mind as heart as
much as your muscles. While this is by no means a comprehensive
list, here are three tips to get you started on your way to fighting
smarter.

1. Fortify your home base

The environment immediately around us – our own home – is, in
most cases, something we have influence over. What happens,
though, when the places that are supposed to be our safe-havens
have become compromised by the exact thing that we’re trying to
battle? It’s not uncommon for people’s own home environment to be
full of all kinds of triggers.
So what are we going to do about it?! This is where you might
need to make some tough decisions. For example, one person who
had a struggle with porn for many years finally realized that his all-
access-digital home environment was like an “alcoholic living in a
bar.” So he decided to make some changes that made his home more
of a safe zone. New barriers that made it harder to access porn acted
as a “massive deterrent” for him, setting up a system that he said,
“worked in [his] favor.” Whatever you do, the key is to make your
environment work for you, not against you.

2. Mobilize your allies

Addiction feeds on secrecy and isolation – and that’s one of the
patterns common to nearly everyone facing this problem. Let’s be
honest, trying to overcome this problem all by ourselves may well be
the fast track to keeping this around in our lives for many years to
come.
For most of us, pornography has driven us apart (to some degree)
from people who care about us, and it may have even created some
tension or resentment. Is it time to counterbalance that force? To
move back in the other direction, to see our friends and family as
allies, not opponents?We’re talking about that courageous moment
when you sit down with someone close to you in full honesty as a
potentially huge turning point in this path we’re all on. Trust us!
Being open and honest will help you tackle this harmful habit so that
you don’t have to live with skeletons in your closet anymore.

3. Deepen your other connections

Think now of all the people in your life – and imagine every one
of those relationships deepening, expanding and strengthening.
What would your life look like then? Are you open to giving it a go?
Obviously, getting free from porn would make a difference in the
connections you feel. That’s a no-brainer, but what we’re talking
about here is something a little different – strengthening
relationships around you as a way to step towards freedom. You see,
as long as you are isolated and distant from people, you are that
much more vulnerable to turning to this stuff again – over and over
again. This fight for freedom is tough enough on your own, so why
go it alone? For many people, loneliness can be a huge trigger to
use. So, simply by focusing on the relationships in your life, you can
avoid being in situations that can pull you back into old habits.
Let’s be honest, recovery is not easy. There are moments where we
all feel exhausted, frustrated, and discouraged. Sometimes, we just
run out of motivation, and we feel like we’ll never get through this.
However, it doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t need to have
strength like the Incredible Hulk to recover from a pornography
addiction; instead, we just need to fight smarter. By avoiding the
battles that you don’t need to fight, you can save your strength for
the ones that you do. Recovery is hard enough as it is, so why make
it harder?


Finding Your Reason To Fight Against Porn



Think about the first time that you saw pornography. How did
you feel? For many people, that first experience with pornography
was definitely not the last, and started a process of deepening usage
that ultimately turned compulsive. Maybe you are at that point right
now and you don’t know what to do. Don’t worry, you are not alone.
We’ve had nearly 60,000 people in 150 different countries join
Fortify since we launched the community in 2012. These are people
who have fallen into a destructive porn habit and are now doing
everything they can to break free.
Recently, we received a message from an individual who decided
to share what prompted him to get porn out of his life. We asked
permission to share his story here:
I first encountered porn when I was 11. I was shocked, excited,
and very curious. So I kept looking. For seven years I looked for ever
more unnatural and hardcore images and videos. I couldn’t imagine
stopping and I didn’t want to. I had heard about FTND and how porn
was an actual problem for relationships, but I never gave it any
serious thought.
Then, one night, I was in my room. I had been looking at my
Facebook feed and thinking about watching porn later, when I saw a
pregnancy announcement photo shoot. The wife was surprising the
husband with the news, and there was a photo of the moment the
guy heard he was going to be a dad. He was crying tears of joy. That
instantly brought tears to my eyes, because suddenly I knew that I
could never have that if I kept up my porn addiction. I would never
be able to love a woman without bringing in the filth that came with
porn.
I realized then that I needed to fight. That I needed to end the
tyranny of porn in my life so that love could live.
This individual struggled with a pornography addiction for years,
unaware of all its subtle consequences on the rest of his life. All of
that changed when he saw the happiness that real, sincere love could
bring into his life.


Think about your own life experiences: What motivates you? What
drives you to be better? When you get tired or discouraged, what
thoughts or ideas push you to keep going? What do you love more
than pornography? Who do you want to be in life?
Take some time today to solidify your commitment to freedom.
Write down the reasons that motivate you to step away from
pornography. In the Fortify community, we refer to these as
“anchors” because they help keep you grounded in your commitment
to keep moving forward and not giving up.
Remember that compulsive pornography habits don’t arise over
night, and, unfortunately, they won’t go away overnight either. It will
take time for those habits and cravings to lessen and vanish. Your
brain is made up of millions of pathways that, to some degree, have
been conditioned to want and need porn. Be patient, but persistent
as well. Cling to those meaningful anchors in your life. The journey
towards freedom is never easy, but we promise it will be worth it.



Note: My mum.. bought me a book which about how normal to
relapses...

...

But ain't normal to relapse...

...

I should got in that day... a book how bad is too much... doing that.



Note:

"Social anxiety, self-esteem

As users manage to abstain from porn, their desire to connect with

others generally surges. Often, so does their self-esteem, their ability
to look others in the eye, their sense of humour, their optimism, their
attractiveness to potential mates, and so forth. Even those formerly
suffering from severe social anxiety often explore new avenues for
social contact: smiling and joking with work colleagues, online
dating, meditation groups, joining clubs, nightspots, and so forth. In
some cases it takes months, but for others the shift is so rapid that it
catches them by surprise."

"Now that I look back at my life there has ALWAYS been connection
between porn consumption, masturbation and my social anxiety.
Before porn, I had a lot of friends, a couple of girlfriends, and I felt
like I was on the top of the world. There was nothing that could
bring me down. I felt like I had my own way to react to everything
that could happen. Then I got a new computer... After a year or two I
found myself in REALLY deep social anxiety, combined with too much
pot and nothing interesting to do with my life.
*
I'm not your generic self-diagnosed socially awkward penguin. I've
been to a psychiatrist, diagnosed with moderate to severe social-
anxiety and was put on medication. I know about the adrenaline.

rush you get when a stranger gets near you, the almost heart attack
you feel when you try to talk during a class or a meeting (as if you
ever do), the long lonely walks you take not to deal with strangers,
the unfounded shame when you look another person in the eye, the
huge wall you put between strangers. Sweating, trembling, panic
attacks, self hate, suicidal impulses, I've been through it all. I've been
attempting quitting for two years now and this is the longest I've
abstained. I no longer experience the ‘torture’ I described above. No
I'm not a new person, not a social butterfly. I'm still myself but I'm
free of the shackles we call social phobia. In this past two years I've
made more connections, hit on more women, made more friends
than I did in my first 25 years. I feel content and comfortable in my
own skin, and the wall I put between myself and other people has
crumbled."






Chapter 9.2 - Fake Life (Fantasies... Imaginations) [Part 2]

Note: "After 7-10 days without porn this feeling went away. My
mind became very clear, thoughts easily controllable, and I became
much more relaxed in general."

"Now, after no-porn, it's a pleasure. So easy and free. I have more
words at my disposal, probably because my memory has improved
in general.
*
Memory – I always had a good one, but quitting put it through the
roof. I could enter a room of 15 people and learn + recall specifically
all their phone numbers in under 5 min. Marks perfect. Social anxiety
and BS negative thinking – > out with the trash.
*
For those of you who are in uni, NoFap is a miracle for the brain.
Before, I used to have to force myself to concentrate in class and
would still end up ‘zoning out’. Now, I can concentrate in a 3-hour
lecture with almost no issues (it's still improving)."


Note: "Depression, low energy, discouragemen

Scientists now view depression as a condition of low energy and little
motivation. Recent research confirmed that the ‘go get it!’
neurochemical dopamine is the main player.[38] In fact,
impaired/restored dopamine signalling may be behind many of the
symptoms/improvements reported by recovering users. Again, I'll
have a lot more to say about that in the next chapter:.
I'm finding I experience depression and feelings of worthlessness far
less often. I'm able to get up more easily in the morning and find the
motivation to do the bloody dishes more often before going to bed.
*
I'm happier. Much, much happier. I typically suffer from SAD and was
diagnosed with minor clinical depression a few years back, but

this autumn/winter I'm feeling great. I have more energy.

*
As a man with genetic depression, being porn free has done more for
me than any drugs I have ever had to take. It is as if this makes me
more alert, attentive, and happier than Wellbutrin, Zoloft or the
other drugs I was cycled through."




Videogames and Porn causing a 'Crisis amongst young men'



If playing some video games and watching porn sounds like a
thrilling weekend plan, you might have a problem. According to
psychologist Phillip Zimbardo, young men’s brains are being
“digitally rewired”, creating a new form of addiction through the
excessive use of pornography and video games.
Is watching porn and playing video games related amongst young
male gamers? Can playing cooperative games be the answer to
decrease possible porn addiction?

The relation between video games and porn addiction


Phillip Zimbardo’s latest study is showing some interesting results.
It is an in-depth look into the effects of video games and
pornography with a sample size of 20,000 young people, of which
75% are male. In an interview on the BBC World Service weekend
program, Zimbardo spoke about the results of the study:
“Our focus is on young men who play video games to excess, and
do it in social isolation - they are alone in their room.
And now, with freely available pornography, which is unique in
history, they are combining playing video games, and as a break,
watching on average, two hours of pornography a week." – Source
When asked what Zimbardo considers “to excess”, he noted that
they consider anything above seven hours a day “to excess”. As an
individual with a degree in psychology, I can safely say that social
isolation can cause a wealth of problems and lead to addiction,
especially if a person already suffers from Addictive Personality
Disorder.
Freely available pornography fills the internet; no one can argue
that fact. What effect does it have on a gamer? Any type of
addiction can lead to a decrease in pro-social behavior. It doesn’t
matter what a person is addicted too, addiction is never a good
thing.

Zimbardo notes that there is a “crisis amongst young men”, who
are experiencing a “new form of addiction” via excessive use of video
games and pornography. He continues by stating that: “It begins to
change brain function. It begins to change the reward centre of the
brain, and produces a kind of excitement and addiction. "What I'm
saying is, boys' brains are becoming digitally rewired." - Source
Phillip Zimbardo is a world renowned psychologist, famous for
the Stanford prison experiment in 1971, where students took on the
roles of guards and prisoners. He is a respected member of the field
of psychology, noting that the issue can lead to porn-induced erectile
dysfunction (PIED): “Young boys who should be virile are now having
a problem getting an erection.”
The connection between watching pornography and erectile
dysfunction is a disputed issue, for example an article from
Psychology Today, shows no scientific links between the use of porn
and erectile dysfunction.

In the video below, Phillip Zimbardo talks about the problems
facing young men with regards to their academic achievement and
social development, citing excessive use of pornography, video games
and the internet as the main culprits.

An example of the mindset of a young male addicted to
pornography: “When I'm in class, I'll wish I was playing World of
Warcraft. When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography,
because I'll never get rejected." - Source
Gaming addiction can lead to antisocial behavior, for
example World of Warcraft players were jailed for child neglect last
year. If social isolation while playing videogames leads to
pornography addiction or vice versa, what could help lighten the
load on young male gamers?
Thankfully, gaming could be the answer to the pressing issue!
Instead of leaving gaming behind, playing with friends can actually
increase pro-social behavior.
Increasing pro-social behavior via cooperative games
Players can give each other a “helping hand” by teaming up for
some cooperative gameplay experiences. Not only will it help
someone stay away from pornography (you probably won’t watch
porn at a LAN), but a new study has found that cooperative
games increase pro-social behavior. Two or more people working
together toward a common goal and benefit could be the key in
decreasing anti-social behavior caused by gaming and porn
addiction.

Assistant professor of journalism and electronic media at Texas
Tech University, John Velez, conducted a study which shows a positive
relation between playing cooperative video games and an increase in
pro-social behavior; in both violent and non-violent video games.

“I did this study to figure out in general why cooperative play
was so powerful in creating that positive effect. That expectation (of
reciprocation) is very powerful in determining pro-social behavior
but it also seems that playing with a helpful teammate can inspire
players to behave pro-socially without the expectation of receiving
anything in return.” - Source
The relation between porn and gaming addiction, according to
Phillip Zimbardo, is due to the social isolation of playing video
games alone in your room. Therefore, increasing pro-social behavior
via cooperative play could be the answer to decreasing porn
addiction brought on by the apparent “isolation” due to playing
video games.
 Do you think there is a relation between video game and porn
addiction? Do you prefer to game alone or with friends? Let us know
what you think in the comment section below.


An Open Letter From A Porn Addict


We hear from our Fortifiers all the time and their stories inspire
us. The struggles they go through, the steps they take to recovery.
But what does it take? What do you have to really do to make it
porn-free?
The answer to that question might be a little different for
everyone but our buddy Brent has been through the ringer and come
out on top. He has some suggestions for those currently struggling
and those who want to support their friends and family.

Hey Friends,

You may have noticed my Porn Kills Love t-shirt. It’s definitely a
conversation starter. Let me tell you why I wear it. Not many people
want to talk about it, but people everywhere and over 70% of men
struggle with pornography. It’s the elephant in the room, yet we
pretend it doesn’t exist. I am here to tell you that it does exist — and
for years it controlled my life.
The first time I was exposed to pornography I was 12 or 13 years
old. I was at a friends house surfing the internet and we accidentally
came upon a porn site that we quickly shut off. When I went home
that night I couldn’t get the image out of my head and I was curious
enough to search the website again for a second glance. I only
looked for a minute or two before realizing that it was a site that I
most definitely shouldn’t be looking at online (I can still vividly recall
the image more than 10 years later). After that night, I didn’t look
again or think much of it— until my college years.
When I was 23 years old I was going through a difficult time in
life and I found myself looking at porn as a way to distract myself
from the pain and hurt that I was feeling. Many people believe that
only perverse, highly sexualized, dirty minded people look at porn —
and that simply isn’t true. I didn’t look at porn to be sexually
stimulated, but to avoid the sadness, depression, and loneliness that
I was feeling. As it developed into my method of escape, I needed
more and more porn to feel, “Normal”. It became a vicious cycle —
the more I looked at porn, the more isolated and depressed I felt,
which ultimately led to more hours of porn.

I finally decided that enough was enough. I was tired and
exhausted of swearing off porn, only to find myself on those same
sites a couple of weeks later. I knew that I needed to find help
outside of what I was currently doing; thankfully I was blessed to
find a great therapist that specialized in men’s issues and
pornography addiction.
When I first walked into John’s office I knew that I had a problem,
but when he told me that I had an addiction I was a little taken back.
He gave me some material and a book to read and in the following
weeks, I learned about my addiction and how similar it was to other
addictions. An alcoholic doesn’t drink for the fun of being drunk. He
drinks to escape his out of control life, numb his pain, and to forget
about his worries — and that’s exactly what I was doing.
I wish I could say that all it took was a couple of sessions with my
therapist and several hours of reading, but overcoming my addiction
to porn was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. For over a
year, I frequently met with my therapist to work through my
addiction. I got an accountability partner, joined an online recovery
program, met with my ecclesiastical leaders, counseled with trusted
friends, and I even tried hypnosis. It was a constant struggle of
finding the strength to make good choices when everything else in
my mind, body, and addiction told me to do otherwise.
In the deepest, lowest point in my recovery I remember laying in
bed crying and contemplating taking my own life. I couldn’t live
another day as a prisoner to this addiction. I wasn’t me anymore; I
didn’t want to look at those images and videos anymore; I wanted to
be me. I wanted happiness and to finally be free from this thing that
was so shameful that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone about it.
At first I failed — a lot. There were setbacks, defeats, and a good
amount of struggling that took place. Each time I acted out and
viewed porn, I had to remind myself to be patient. This was an
addiction that I had built over years and it was going to take a good
amount of time to learn healthy new habits, put them into practice,
and change my behavior.
Slowly, I started having small, but crucial moments of success — a
day, a week, a month with no setbacks. I started to trust myself and
believe that change was possible; that life could be different and step
by step I started to regain my freedom. I started to be me again and
prove that I could do hard things. I no longer felt the same intense
urge to view porn, escape, or numb out. I started to find joy again in
living and no longer felt quite as enslaved by my addiction. I started
to fill my life with the things that I love to do.

Some time has passed since I’ve been caught in the addiction
cycle, but honestly I still have moments of weakness. I still have
setbacks, but they are far and few compared to the days that I am
strong. I can’t say that I will never slip up again, but I can say that I
will never again let porn control my life. I now have the tools, skills,
and support to learn from my mistakes and setbacks. I know when I
need to make life adjustments, find greater balance, and when I need
to reach out for help.

I am sharing this story with you because I trust you and despite
my weakness, I want to be seen and loved for who I am — a guy
trying everyday to be a better man, brother, son, and friend. I am
sharing this with you because there is too much shame and silence
around this topic in our society. For years, I was terrified and too
ashamed to confide in anyone that I had a problem. For too long, I
faced this battle alone. There are too many good guys out there
struggling in quiet desperation for help — lets help them.

As I have opened up about my porn addiction to friends and
family, I have found that I am not alone and some of them have
struggled or currently struggle with pornography. It has been
extremely rewarding to be a support to others, whether its being an
accountability partner, sharing my story, or directing them to
external resources.
On my journey to recovery, I learned a thing or two about
overcoming addiction that I think could be beneficial for others to
know.

–No one can overcome a pornography (or any other) addiction on
their own. I have met a lot of people who struggle with this issue and
I’ve yet to meet someone who has recovered without help from
others. In most cases, individual counseling, group support, trusted
friends, and an accountability partner are needed.

–The biggest barrier to recovery is often shame — Shame is so

destructive. When you feel so ashamed about your addiction and
don’t talk about it, you isolate yourself from others and often find
yourself more trapped in the addiction. If you have a loved one
struggling with pornography, Do Not Shame Them. Create a safe,
non-judgmental space for them to share their struggles and express
their feelings. They need to know that they are loved and that you
are there to help, not criticize or condemn.

–Addictions are established over a period of time. It often takes just

as long to overcome an addiction. Don’t expect someone to get
better in a matter of days, weeks, or even months. It took me more
than a year before I started really getting a grip on things. There are
going to be setbacks and failures in the process — patience and
forgiveness is crucial with yourself and others.
–I have found that therapists (And programs) who specialize in
addiction recovery are best suited to assist in the recovery process.
Ecclesiastical leaders can be a good support and can help in the
healing process, but are not a substitute for licensed professionals
who have been trained in addiction recovery. Spirituality can be an
important aspect of creating a healthy balanced life, but overcoming
a porn addiction will take more than reading sacred texts, daily
prayer, and attending religious meetings. It will require new habits,
skills, and practices in all aspects of your life.
–Journaling and tracking daily progress is vital. I found writing about
my journey to be very therapeutic and healing. It helped me
understand my addiction, triggers, and emotions. Keeping a record
helped me to recognize my accomplishments .

–It is also extremely important to have an accountability partner — a

trusted individual who will hold you accountable for your progress
and will walk with you along the journey to recovery.
–No real progress in recovery can take place until a person’s desire to
get better is greater than the short term gratifications of porn. I
think sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom before healing can
start to take place. Humility and an acknowledgement that others
are needed for success is a game changer. I definitely hit this point
after months of trying to get better on my own.
–I believe that people look at porn because we often lack the
necessary tools and life skills to deal with the hardship, stress, and
demands of life. Teach people healthy skills and they will handle
hard situations in a healthy way.

It is my hope that people will start talking more about the
harmful effects of pornography and approach it in a way that
eliminates shame and grows understanding. It is my hope that we
will start educating ourselves and others on how to navigate this
new drug that plagues our generation. Only by speaking up will
those who silently struggle learn of the resources, skills, and tools
necessary for recovery. For those who have lost hope, know that you
are not alone – help and recovery are in sight.

Stand with me to Fight the New Drug!


World of Warcraft players jailed for neglecting their children


Note: I am still here... and the stories continue and continue


...
as vicious as never.... have they ever been!

You gonna end up... in jail


Lester Louis Huffmire and Petra Huffmire are World of
Warcraft (WoW) addicts. Not addicts in the casual sense of the word
like we sometimes use to affirm our devotion to a game, but real
addicts - the kind that would abuse to get their fix. They are also
parents to two girls, a 10 year and 5 year old. Last
week KTLA reported that the Huffmire couple was found guilty
on "two felony counts of child abuse, two misdemeanor counts of
false imprisonment, one misdemeanor count of contributing to
delinquency of a minor, and sentencing enhancements for great
bodily injury."
The abuse has gone on for three years...

Lester Louis Huffmire and Petra Huffmire

The couple from Anaheim, California were sentenced to 5 years
and 3 years respectively for child abuse due to neglect that lasted
more than 3 years in which the children were abused and
imprisoned, not being allowed to go to school, became malnourished
and went unwashed. A neighbour finally contacted the Police when
they became worried. The 2 daughters have been taken into
protective custody. There is no excuse for this behavior but what has
me worried is that no one approached the police about this, like
schools normally do when children don't show up to school for
awhile, this abuse could have been caught sooner had the child
protection services/school/neighbours been attentive to what was
going on and didn't take 3 years to call the Police
Remember Justin Carter? He made that Facebook comment about
a League of Legends match which got him arrested in July 2013. He
is looking at 10 years jail time for making a really bad joke (it was
reported as a terrorist threat), while the Huffmire couple only got
two and three years for child abuse. That really does not make
sense. What do you think?
What do you think we can do about gaming addiction? Should
there be a Gaming Anonymous for people who need help? For
starters, how about reporting it when you see something like child
abuse.




An Anxious Comedian Attempts to Talk about It



Being anxious is awful. And one of the worst parts is being too
afraid to even talk about it.
Sometimes this reluctance is due to fear of judgment. It’s easy to
imagine that others will think less of me if I am honest with them
about it.
Sometimes it’s a more nameless fear. I know it’s not rational, but
it can feel as if the simple act of talking about anxiety — of
acknowledging its existence — might somehow make it stronger. Even
sharing with a close friend can feel next to impossible.
 When I was at my most anxious, I sat behind my defenses and
quietly hoped that people would read my mind and understand my
feelings without me needing to say anything. (Which never
happened, obviously.) All of this makes me all the more confused
that I’ve somehow managed to give a TED talk about my anxiety.
This would have come as a huge surprise to my past anxious self. But
a big part of what I’ve learned is that opening up is important.

The other part of what I’ve learned is that it helps a surprising
amount to compare anxiety to custard. See my video at the end of
this post.
Okay, once you’ve seen the video you’ll know a few more things
about me, including that I apparently can’t operate very simple
slide-changing machinery. But let’s ignore that for now. I want to
return to the importance — and difficulty — of sharing our struggles.
We all know that it’s good to share. But we also know that
sharing requires vulnerability, and that not every situation is safe to
share in. It can be hard knowing when to trust, particularly if our
trust has been betrayed before. And there’s often that critical voice in
our mind saying “nobody cares — you’re just being a burden.” This all
adds up to paralysis, and to bottling up our struggles, often for
years.
We shouldn’t feel bad about finding it hard to talk. It’s natural,
it’s common, it’s human to struggle with vulnerability. But it doesn’t
have to remain this way.
It might be hard to share. It might be hard to find someone to
trust. It might be hard to be vulnerable. But it’s not impossible, and
the benefits are huge: a chance to start untangling the anxious mess
in our heads, as well as maybe making a new ally on the journey,
not to mention taking a small step toward creating a world where
more people feel free to say “I feel that way too!”
The more I’ve spoken publicly about anxiety, the more people
have said to me: “Me too!” At first, I was a little surprised by this. But
now I realize that we are more similar to one another than we
realize, and we’re all very good at hiding our vulnerabilities.

Our anxieties protect themselves by making us too anxious to face
them. However, we can use this to our advantage: it means that once
we start coming to grips with our anxiety, it loses this power to
protect itself. And, often, the very first step to reduce the power of
our anxiety is to begin talking about it with someone, or some
community, that we trust. It’s a long journey from there to
peacefulness, but it’s a long journey I hope we can share with one
another.





Video: A new plan for anxious feelings: escape the custard! | Neil
Hughes | TEDxLeamingtonSpa









COMEDIANS OFFER THEIR BEST ADVICE ON DEALING WITH
DEPRESSION


Whatever the reasons for the death of Robin Williams, one thing
that's clear is that depression is a serious illness that can affect
anyone, at any time. And though experiences may vary, a large part
of the discussion I've seen online has been spurred on by comedians
who, like Williams, also experience the disorder.
We reached out to several prominent comedians and authors to
find out more about how they deal with the disease and work
through it, and to offer some advice for anyone else out there who
might feel like they're suffering on their own:

 What Depression Feels Like

Jamie Kilstein (Citizen Radio, Friend of Robin Williams):Depression
is sorta like a ninja. A really mean shi--y ninja. Even when you or
your friends seem fine and are joking around, a lot of time it's a
cover. That doesn't mean if you have a sad friend open every
conversation with 'ARE YOU OK?' but always show them you care.

Sara Benincasa (Author, "AGORAFABULOUS!" and "Great"): I've
suffered from depression on and off since I was fourteen. During my
teens and early twenties, it was especially hard. These are vulnerable
years, even for "tough" people who pride themselves on being strong.
The thing is, depression doesn't care if you're strong, any more than
cancer or diabetes will care if you're strong. Depression is a very real
illness and it can strike anybody.

Who Gets Depressed?

Chris Distefano (Guy Code): "The people that bring the most
laughter into the world, are usually the ones hiding the most pain."
As a comedian I can not agree with this statement more. As a child I
always knew I was "weird" because instead of dealing with my
emotions the "normal" way like crying or getting angry I would
instead bury them deep inside of me and mask them with laughter.
As I grew older these suppressed emotions began to surface and I
would often, and still do, fall into deep depression.

Benincasa: It's especially prevalent in people who have a family
history of depression, but since many people understandably try to
hide their depression or drink it away or smoke it away, it's not
always diagnosed when it should be. So people suffer and feel so
alone, because no one in their family wants to talk about it.
Sometimes folks in your family will act like it's not real, and that's
not right. It is real. And it makes you feel like garbage. It makes you
feel like you are worthless. You know when you have the flu and it's
so bad that for a moment you can't remember what it feels like to
feel well? That's what depression is like.

Nat Towsen (UCB, CollegeHumor): There's a misconception that all
comedians are depressed. The truth is that a lot of people are
depressed, but comedians express their personal experience, not just
for laughs but to connect to their audience.

The relationship between comedy and depression is complicated.
Creating (and even just watching) comedy can ease the symptoms of
depression, but it's much more difficult to use comedy as a tool in
dealing with the source of depression. It took me seven years of
standup before I was comfortable talking about my anxiety onstage,
and almost nine years before I started talking directly about
depression, about having suicidal impulses, about feeling pathetic for
struggling to do things that come naturally to most people.
Talking about these things has helped me – especially when an
audience laughs, indicating that I'm not alone, that they're glad to
know that they're not either – but it's not enough. In that time while I
was learning to use comedy to address my mental state, my
depression got a lot worse, and I started seeing a therapist again.
Comedy can help you feel better, it can help you process things, but
there is no replacement for professional help.

You don't need to be unhappy or depressed to be funny. People
romanticize the connection, and that's extremely unhealthy; gives
comedians an excuse not to seek help. Our culture needs to let go of
its "tears of a clown" obsession and realize that depression is not a
tragic superpower.

How To Deal With Depression

Benincasa: I was very fortunate in that my friends told my
parents what was going on when I was in college, and we were able
to address it as a family. I've taken medication for years, and done
lots of therapy, and both things have helped enormously. I wrote a
book called "Agorafabulous" about all this stuff, and it was tough to
write because I had to remember all of the hard stuff I'd tried to
forget. But it's important that people with depression come out
about it and share our stories, because we can really help each other.

Jordan Carlos ("Guy Code"): Being a comedian means that you
always wrestle with what's called "the god complex" -- little g of
course. It's a fancy way of saying that, like a god, you have the
capacity to create (laughter) and also like a god you have the
capacity to destroy (yourself). Knowing that - understanding those
impulses - has kept me from the ledge many, many a night

Distefano: I chose stand up at first to help deal with the pain.
Instead of drinking or doing drugs to get over the fact my parents
weren't together, or 9/11 gave me paralyzing anxiety, I chose to write
jokes about it. I tried to turn my pain into art.

I don't think many people know, that usually comedians have to
go into an extremely dark place to find the funniest material. I can't
tell you how many times I've been writing jokes while simultaneously
tearing up because in the process of going into my past to get the
funny, I discovered the pain. The pain that I pushed down years ago,
just came up. Only this time I'm older, and understand more, and feel
every piece of it. Now I see the consequences of it. Now I see how
that pain shaped me. For better or worse.
Most of comedy isn't funny. Most of it is watching a person show
you their suffering in a funny way. Sit at a table of comedians after a
show, more than likely we will be in silence. Buried in our notebooks
or in our thoughts. Most of us didn't want to be comedians, we HAD
to be comedians. My mind was leading me this way long before I
ever took the stage for the first time.
I am in no way comparing myself to Robin Williams, or saying
that I can even comprehend emotionally what he must've been going
through. Rest in Peace brother, you were one of the true greats, and
whether you knew it or not, you helped me find happiness at some
of my darkest times.
Anyone out there dealing with depression, do not be afraid to go
get help. Do not be afraid to cry. The most cathartic thing I do is cry.
Let it all out. And keep it all out. Don't run from the pain, feel it. Just
know there are people around who can help you. People who have
been to the darkest depths and survived. You do not have to do any
of this alone. Lean on us. I say again Rest in Peace to Robin Williams
and prayers to his family and to anyone else who took their own life
on account of this disease.

Kilstein: We need the weirdos, the artists, the sad kids. We are
already down in numbers. We can't lose some of the only unique
caring people we have left. I know it feels low. But know that you
feel this way cause you are different and special. If people don't get
you, good. Who wants to be like everyone else? Own that s--t.
Surround yourself with good people. If you can't in real life, find
them on Tumblr or Twitter, or podcasts, or comics until you can. Stay
brave. Appreciate the little things you get from life and give. Keep
making the planet a little less boring.

Towsen: Depression is a real thing. Naming it doesn't create it,
make it worse, or make you weak. If anything it makes you stronger,
braver. Having depression doesn't mean that there is something
wrong with you, that you are flawed. It is simply one of the things
that we deal with as human beings, and is something that gets much
worse if we attempt to ignore it. Not everyone experiences
depression, and those who don't should have the decency to realize
they are lucky and be sympathetic to those to do. Those who do
experience it should seek help.
There is still a stigma about therapy, which is entirely misguided,
as therapy is a good thing for mental health, even in people who
don't suffer from depression. A therapist is not someone who is going
to analyze and diagnose you. They are someone rational you can
speak to who can help you put your thoughts in order. Sometimes,
they are simply someone who has spoken to a lot of people, and can
tell you when your feelings are common, even if they feel isolating.
You are not alone in this, and anyone who mocks you for it is
probably more scared than you are.

Andrew Schulz ("Guy Code"): I've always felt the best way was to
attack the depression. I have a little list of things I do:

 1) Socialize with people I don't know. There's something about
human interaction that I need -- especially laughing with strangers
lifts my spirits. This can't be a comedy club setting. It's got to be part
of my day. Online at Starbucks. At the gym. A two minute connection
with a stranger can change everything.
2) Exercise until the only thing I can think of is my next breath.
Once you put the brain in survival mood s--t changes. When you're
depressed it's hard to find the motivation for that, but if you can
push your body to the limit (cardio is good, a boxing class) there is
an amazing release after. I do this kind of exercise at least 3 days in
a row. The deeper the depression the more constant exercise I need.
3) Smile. I literally force myself to smile. It sounds stupid but it
works.
4) Make lists of things to do and get them done. The feeling of
accomplishment is rewarding. Feeling productive is great.
5) Talk about my feelings. This is more for anxiety but if there's
something on my mind I have to let it out. The second I do I feel a
release. If I don't feel comfortable talking about it I write on it. I write
exactly what I feel and have a conversation with myself through the
writing. It allows me to really explore my feelings and what's
bothering me.




Note: YOu are not the only one suffering from depression







SELENA GOMEZ IS TAKING A BREAK FROM MUSIC TO RECOVER FROM
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION



Selena Gomez has been all about Revival for the past year, but
now she’s taking a break to focus on recovery.
The 24-year-old, who announced last year that she battles
lupus, is planning to take time off after suffering side effects from
the autoimmune disease.
“I’ve discovered that anxiety, panic attacks and depression can be
side effects of lupus, which can present their own challenges,” Gomez
said in a statement to People on Tuesday.
“I want to be proactive and focus on maintaining my health and
happiness and have decided that the best way forward is to take
some time off,” she continued. “Thank you to all my fans for your
support. You know how special you are to me, but I need to face this
head on to ensure I am doing everything possible to be my best. I
know I am not alone by sharing this, I hope others will be
encouraged to address their own issues.”
Gomez first revealed her lupus diagnosis in a Billboard interview
last October, after her canceled Stars Dance tour sparked rumors of
substance abuse. “I wanted so badly to say, ‘You guys have no idea.
I’m in chemotherapy. You’re assholes,’” she said at the time. “But I
was angry I even felt the need to say that.”
Gomez is currently in between international legs of
her Revival world tour, which is slated to run through December 18.
She wrapped up her Australian leg earlier this month, and has shows
scheduled throughout Europe, Asia, North America, and Latin
America this fall and winter.
No word on whether Gomez will play any of those remaining tour
dates, or how long she plans to retreat from the limelight, but
hopefully she’ll come back feeling healthier and happier than ever.













Chapter 10 - Die

Note: By not changing... not accepting the change... soon ... very
soon you gonna die from depression... It won't make you feel
better.... porn... porn won't get you happiness it will give you a
feeling to crave for more and more and more. Today doing it... won't
be the end... it will be just the point of the beginning... and it will
continue.


1) No Kid: Should get a book which shows that porn is good... it
teaches you that and that
- The truth is...

Sex is always rough

The same content won't satisfy you forever
You gonna crave for disgusting things
Your mindset will be feeling for more

2) Life is Rough: Porn makes it more rougher than it's for real




- You just feel helpless... distant... depressed
...

Emotionally locked



But yeah!



Porn looks like:



- She is hot...hot as hell!


and that:






- Everything looks great... it looks like they all like it


...

 but we just miss the fact that they don't like it


...

1) First of all male porn starts.... and female porn stars have 1000 of
orgasm... they do it... at least each scene for few times

2) Pornstars look like:









But in the end


it happens that

...

Note: Yeah you had your day... you were happy... you went home
and you started watching porn from one ... comes another... few
hours have passed and you are already watching deep shit +
masturbating... you finish in the next hour... the hour which is the
next hour of the next.... you start feeling guilty...

shame... that's when and depression comes

YOu see that:

Which is not really what porn model really looks like



The porn world is fulfilled with disgusting fantasies + doing
fucked up shit.


...

He: He played with her pussy... he started sucking it... he touched his
dick .... then he started touching her then kissing her - Ughhh
disgusting
- His dick is dirty, the same goes and for the pussy... come on...
dick and pussy piss... nothing clean about that



She: Her facial expression is like she getting sexually abused first,
she puts the dick in the mouth - FUCK , SHE TOUCHES
HERSELF... after touching the dick, she touches her hair after playing
with the dick. - Ughh... nobody cleans himself upp... parasites... all
over them.

Most of the pornstars gets often starving and abused

- If this is not enough listen


YOU JERK OFF OR MASTURBATE WHILE YOU WATCH WOMEN
WHICH AREN'T REALLY WOMEN, ARE TEENS WHICH TEENS ARE
PROBABLY AROUND

15-16 YEARS OLD KIDS... - THIS CALLED HUMAN TRAFFICKING

PROMISE FOR A GOOD LIFE, BUT IN THE END...

- FACIAL ABUSE
- FUCKED UP LIFE
- ENDLESS CYCLE
- SHAME
- GUILT
- CAN'T QUIT




AND IT'S LIKE:



Saying: This here image is like okay... I gonna do it...


But this image isn't as the female enjoying what she is doing




But when you don't have education, money... you gonna end up
there
...

YOu think is great... until you end up in room 101... - Gruesome and
disgusting things, that's the room which makes you vomit.

And so far in this images.. .above... there is piss, vomit and cum











It's too much!



And what's good in watching... blowjob with vomit - Disgusting as
hell!















Comedy therapy: laughter is the best medicine


Recent research shows most mental health issues are the result of
a genetic predisposition coupled with a triggering event. The
triggering event is subjective. In other words, neither you nor I have
to agree that a given incident causes addiction, depression,
or anxiety—it's all relative. Clinically, "triggers" are also subjective.
Best-case scenario: if you have a genetic predisposition, avoid the
triggering event. The question is, can we avoid external pressures
that may cause anxiety? To some degree yes, but truth be told, we
don't know how we will react to a situation until it happens. For
instance, the clinical definition of trauma is not what you or I
consider traumatic. Trauma is subjective. If I feel traumatized by a
hangnail, clinically I am experiencing "trauma." The best way to cope
with anxiety pre or post triggering event is to shift our point of view
(P.O.V.) and change the way we view the world. As a comedian, I take
situations that scare me, make me angry or sad, and turn them into
a joke. Shifting the way we view an event can change our experience
of the event.
As a woman, it's hard not to feel like there is an unspoken and
horribly outdated contract when a man takes me out on a date—this
defunct notion that the more money he spends on me, the more
obligated I feel to have sex with him. Intellectually, I realize having
sex is never an obligation; it is a subjective choice. Emotionally, I
dread a possible negative reaction if sexual activity is not the
outcome of our date. The act of dating triggers my anxiety, so I
wrote a joke about it:
"A guy thinks if he picks us up in a nice car, buys us a meal, and
takes us to a show he is actually upping his chances for getting laid.
Let me bust this myth wide open, guys. We decide if you're getting
laid way before the date begins. We decide if you're getting laid while
we are putting our underwear on. If we're wearing the granny panties
up to our waist and the bra with the safety pin that holds the whole
apparatus together we don't care where you take us, what you feed
us or what you drive us in, we are not having sex. But if we're
wearing that thong thing up our butt all evening, honey, you can
take us to a tractor pull. You are getting screwed."
Sexual tension is a common cause of anxiety. Through humor, I
can shift my P.O.V. and remind myself that I am in control of the
situation, which helps the experience seem less daunting.

Teaching Comedy as a Tool for Overcoming Anxiety

I believe we can ameliorate or eradicate anxiety and depression
by shifting their worldview, otherwise known as an individual's
perspective of the world. I am teaching stand-up comedy to at-risk
teenage boys. One of my students, let's call him "B," wrote a joke
about Crips and Bloods, which are rival gangs in his neighborhood.
His premise: ice cream trucks naming flavors that resonate with kids
from his neighborhood. Hip Hopsicle, Red Dye #2 and Crips (blue). As
a 16-year-old boy living in an area with high gang activity, B is
threatened by gang members on a daily basis. Does his reality
change after writing these jokes? No, but he doesn't have to be
overtaken by anxiety.

Another student, "D," talks about "hating second dates because
that's when you have to meet the parents." D talks about picking up
his girlfriend only to have her father say she can't go out with him. D
knows full well it is a hard sell to have a father allow his precious
daughter to go out with a self-proclaimed "poor black kid from the
ghetto." The anticipation of a negative experience is anxiety
provoking. Shifting his P.O.V. by making it funny allows him to laugh
at the snap judgments born out of prejudice. D is able to normalize
his experience and put it in the past as a humorous event. D talks
about the father yelling at him in Spanish. D has no idea what the
father is saying, but everything sounds like he's offering something to
eat. Every word he hears sounds like food. In his joke, D has no idea
he is being berated. All the venom spewed by his girlfriend's father is
lost on him.

The Science of Comedy and Anxiety

Simon Wiesenthal, Austrian writer and Holocaust survivor, once
said, "Humor is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who
are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them." We
have emotional triggers that cause happiness, sadness, anger, and
fear. Once those triggers are tripped we fall into patterns of behavior
hoping to alleviate negative emotions. A trigger causing fear and
anxiety may cause us to want to become violent. The more we
experience anxiety the more we may use violence to provide a feeling
of comfort. Neuropathways are literal ruts in our brains which make
it easy for us to fall into a pattern of behavior. Changing the
neuropathway is difficult. For example, in scary, anxiety provoking
events we have to create a reward that trumps the comfort we feel
when we physically defend ourselves. The reward of making
someone laugh is more enjoyable than resorting to physical violence.
Many comedians were bullied as kids and used humor as their
defense mechanism. When people laugh it changes the experience for
everyone. Pleasing chemicals are released in the brain such as
Dopamine.
My work with at risk teenage boys is an ongoing process. As a
pilot project, we have learned a lot. The good news: there is already
a shift in the way these boys handle themselves. They are more
playful and less anxious. Their anxiety triggers are still around them
but they have learned ways to change their point of view.




Porn is:

1) Forced Smile
2) Forced Orgasm
3) Insane
4) Too bad... to feel good

How pregnancy loss can increase the risk for anxiety disorders





While most pregnancies result in the birth of a healthy baby, up
to 15% of births result in a miscarriage, and another 1-2% of
women have a late pregnancy loss before delivery (stillbirth) or an
early infant death in the first month after birth. While we know these
losses can be devastating for families, there have not been many
formal studies examining whether women with stillbirth or early
infant death are at high risk for clinical mental health disorders,
particularly anxiety disorders. Mental health problems
like anxiety can have serious health effects on these women, and
these disorders are often not properly recognized, diagnosed, or
treated.

 Assessing Anxiety Risk in Women Who Have Faced Pregnancy Loss

Since stillbirth and early infant death ("perinatal death") are often
traumatic experiences, my team and I wanted to measure how
frequently women with these losses developed symptoms of mental
health disorders on top of their grief. We worked with the Michigan
Department of Community Health to survey 900 women in Michigan
who had a perinatal death (stillbirth or early infant death), and 500
women who had given birth to a healthy live infant. We asked these
women about how they were coping with these experiences, and
assessed their mental health symptoms.
My team and I also made sure to take into account outside
factors which could influence the risk of anxiety disorders: a woman
might have clinical depression or past mental health disorders,
limited social support from friends and family, or partner violence,
among other problems. We included those details in the analysis so
we could see if anxiety was due to the perinatal loss or if it could be
explained by one of these other factors.

Pregnancy Loss Can Double the Risk of Clinically-Significant
Anxiety Disorders

Our study showed that even when we considered all of these
other risks, mothers with a perinatal death were still twice as likely
as non-bereaved mothers to have symptoms of Social Anxiety
Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder nine months after their
loss. However, they were not any more likely to have Panic
Disorder or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Sadly, of all the women who met criteria for any of these anxiety
disorders, only about a quarter were getting any type of treatment
(such as counseling, medication, group therapy, or other treatment).
This percentage highlights a critical shortcoming and indicates a
current lack of proper care for women who have faced pregnancy
loss. Recognizing that women with stillbirth and infant death can
also be at higher risk for some anxiety disorders can help us develop
ways to better help women who have a loss.

 What You Can Do to Cope with Pregnancy Loss

1. Find the time and space to heal. Recovering from an experience

like this takes time. Finding time and space to grieve is critical,
and healing is different for everyone. Large life changes, like a
move or a new job, may not be the best idea immediately
following a pregnancy loss when your life may feel upside down.
You and your partner may cope with grief in different ways, and
this is also normal.
2. Create memories of your baby. Some families may receive items
from the hospital to help them remember their baby—locks of
hair, footprints, a cap the baby wore, or photos. Other families
choose to have a memorial or remembrance service after a loss
or have a family gathering on the anniversary. Finding a way to
help others who have been through this experience may be
therapeutic, like through donations to research or to funds to
help bereaved families. On an anniversary, you may choose to
plant a tree or a garden. Even if you didn't do any of these
things when your baby died, you can still go back, even years
later, to make memories which may offer comfort in difficult
times.
3. Consider visiting a healthcare professional if you are struggling
and don't feel you have adequate support from family or
friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your family doctor,
obstetrician, or midwife, or to use mental health resources such
as a therapist or psychiatrist. Some women may find support in
their church or from a religious leader. It is normal to have
intense symptoms of anxiety and depression after losing a baby,
but if these symptoms are not gradually improving over time or
if you find yourself thinking seriously about hurting yourself or
planning for suicide, it's very important to let your health team
know immediately or seek out a counselor who can help you
process your grief.
4. Expect your grief to intensify at certain times. Most women
report that grief symptoms worsen around key anniversary
dates such as the baby's expected due date, the anniversary of
 the birth, holidays, or meaningful family events. Seeing other
babies or going to baby showers may be difficult. You may think
your grief is better and then find that something triggers an
intense outpouring of emotions - this is normal and something
most women experience. It does not mean you are not "coping"
with your grief or even that you are clinically depressed or
struggling with a clinical anxiety disorder.
5. Be prepared for the fact that other people may not know what
to say to you or may be afraid that talking about your baby will
make you think about your loss. This is particularly common in
the months and years after the loss or in a next pregnancy. You
can help friends and family support you by letting them know
directly what is helpful to you. If it helps you to share memories
of your baby or to talk about your feelings when it's a hard day,
say that. Guide people by explaining that they don't have to "fix"
anything, but it just helps when they can be with you and be
caring, even if they don't feel like they know exactly the right
thing to say.
6. Consider on-line support, whether it is information about loss or
a peer support group, an on—line support group or chat room,
or educational information. This allows you to connect with
other mothers who may have been through similar experiences,
and women who use these sites report that communicating with
other parents helps them to realize they are not alone. These are
some useful places to start:

National Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support: information,

resources, support groups, Facebook closed on-line support
group.
First Candle: a nonprofit which offers support to parents with
infant death.
March of Dimes: medical information and emotional support
resources.
Still Birth Alliance: International Stillbirth Alliance provides links
to research and news about stillbirth prevention.






Making Porn Powerless



Porn instills us with an incredible sense of entitlement born from
an unrelenting tide of self-gratification. We learn that we get what
we want and we get it now. We never have to work, wait, worry for
anything.

Does this sound to you like a healthy life-view to you?
Didn’t think so.
Now, when nothing in our lives can give us what we think we
deserve. All of our other positive, healthy connections dissolve at the
corrosive touch of pornography. This leaves us hollow, sad and
shameful. We hate ourselves and believe ourselves to be worthless.
But we still want it all and we want it all now. This mindset is
twisted, dangerous, overwhelming and it just plain hurts.
This combination of entitlement and insecurity leaves of us
dependent to our addiction. It robbed us of our power and teaches us
a belief system that supports our dependency. In this powerless state
addicts find themselves floundering, often unable to break their
chains, or even try.

So how do you get the power back? Or how can you help
someone find their strength?

Well, like everything there are probably a thousand ways to
answer that. Take this story from one of our Fortifiers, Jesse, to get
started.
I was born just before the internet, and long story short, I was
addicted to porn by the time I was eleven. It totally and completely
sucked. My parents found out but none of us knew what to do. I got
stuck in counseling but I just lied. That was easier, I wasn’t letting
people down and I didn’t have to feel guilty, not in the open. I always
wanted to be better but I never felt safe enough to try. I was so
convinced that my worth as a person was contingent on my full
recovery. Basically, I believed that I could eventually be good, but I
wasn’t good right now. Right now, I was broken.
Finally, I started to find good help. I guess there were enough
people like me popping up everywhere that we started to understand
what was happening. Once I started my real recovery, where I could
separate myself and my identity from the shame of my addiction, I
started to get better. And that all happened when I learned to talk
about it. Open, honest, healthy communication. It was like oxygen.
And I’m not talking about spilling my guts to strangers, details were
irrelevant. No one needed to see my search history. I just started to
prove to myself that I was a real, worthwhile person. I was enough,
at every stage of my addiction and recovery. I was enough.

For Fortifiers

Nothing will make it harder for you to make it through this
addiction than trying to go it alone. Trust us. We know you want to
wait until you’re more under control, when it’s less scary, but there
will always be a reason not to talk about this and it will always be
scary. But just at first. Opening up about your addiction takes the
power away from your shame and guilt. It will get easier and easier
to talk about with more and more people. You might be an addict
but you are not your addiction. And people will see that. It will be
hard and it might hurt at first but it will be worth it.

For Parents

The time of “the talk” is gone. Considering the level of sexualized
media we view everyday, by accident or otherwise, a metaphor about
birds and bees is not going to cut it. The solution isn’t extremism
either. Kids need to feel comfortable and shame free, they need to
know that you trust them. If your home is a place where your kids
have both a clear warning of the dangers of porn but also the
comfort to discuss any questions, worries or mistakes.
Jesse reported that now, his family talks about porn all the time
(in a good way), and almost all of them have FTND shirts, even some
cousins. It stopped being this shapeless, terrifying thing and because
something they understood and knew how to deal with. We
understand this is a big box to open so if you need help getting
started check out The Guideline on the FTND store. It’s a free PDF for
parents.

For Partners

A lot of the same rules apply, open honest communication.
Anyone close to an addict has a lot on influence to help them
remember that they are a worthwhile person. The catch is, anyone
close to an addict has dealt with serious betrayal and heartache. You
could probably use a lot of support and affirmation coming your
way as well. And you should get it!
Don’t feel bad about needing help and support too. You and your
partner should support each other and work to clean all of that
toxicity out of your relationship. This can be tough so you might
want to think about enlisting some help, professional or otherwise.
For starters you could check out Bloom for Women, an online service
that specializes in betrayal trauma recovery.

For Fighters

Sometime conversations need to happen in our community. We
may encounter resistence or plain indifference. The thing is, people
suffer in secret with this problem. If we don’t talk about it, they
could stay lost and alone for a long time.
Our pal Jesse has a younger brother, and he has a bit of a story
of his own.
My little brother, Trevor, is 14. If I can think of anything good that
has come of my addiction is that now he understands what I went
through. I gave him a “Love Can’t Be Clicked” T and he wears it all
the time. My mom said that when he sits down he adjusts it so you
can clearly see the message.
 Anyway, he was getting so mad that no one ever asked about it.
This kid wanted to be a warrior and other kids at his middle school
would talk about porn all the time, but mostly which sites they liked
best. Finally, he got a chance to talk about it. He explained so stuff
about what porn can do to you and told his friends to look it up. He
was so freaking proud. Now, if one of his little buddies is struggling, I
hope they go to him because he will send them to Fortify.
I got him a big, red “Porn Kills Love” T as a reward. I told him that
one will really turn heads.


Top 4 Porn Addiction Myths: Q&A



Q: Do only people with “Addictive Personalities” have a problem
with porn?

A: So there is still a lot of debate on this one. A recent study by
Simone Kühn, and Jürgen Gallinat, found that frequent porn users
had a significant reduction in grey matter in areas of the brain like
the frontal lobe. They also found a decrease in neural connectivity in
those areas. The important thing to know about this is these are the
areas of the brain that control logic, reasoning and decision making.
All things that contribute to compulsive behavior. The catch is that
this was not a “before and after” study. Meaning the scientists didn’t
take a look at people’s brains before they had watched porn
regularly for a few years, only after. Because of this they couldn’t
unequivocally conclude that the porn addiction caused the
underdeveloped brain makeup. It is still possible that people are
predisposed to porn use because of the structure of their brains at
early stages of their lives.

There are a couple reasons this is unlikely.

1. After porn use stops, the neural pathways in the brain that were
 being inhibited begin to grow and develop. This shows that even
if porn wasn’t the initial cause of underdevelopment, it was
creating an environment that stunted neurological growth.
2. Porn acts almost exactly like a drug, as far as chemical release
in the brain. This is important when answering this question
because we do have “before and after” science for drugs. These
studies show that susceptibility to drug use has more to do with
your environment than your personality.

This chicken-or-the-egg question can be a little frustrating but
honestly, why is it so important? If you have noticed that porn is
causing negativity in your life the question should be “what are you
going to do about it?” Besides, having an “addictive personality” just
sounds like people are going to be addicted to hanging out with you.

Q: Is porn addiction just about sex?

A: Not nearly as much as you would think. The above video talks
about a lot of misconceptions towards addiction and the concludes
that addiction is about a lack of healthy connections. Sex is a
powerful way to connect with another person. When it is healthy and
reciprocated, that level of intimacy can help us feel important,
powerful, wanted, and useful. Who doesn’t want to feel those
things?
Author John Steinbeck said that “Most of the vices of men are
attempted short cuts to love.” When someone is caught in an
addiction it becomes the only way their brains know how to seek out
connection. Even though it is a short cut, and there is no real
reciprocation, we still try and fake it. Remember, most of the things
that drive people to porn addiction started as good, healthy, human
desires that have been twisted into something dark.

Q: Is there such thing as healthy porn use?

A: We’re going to go with a solid no with this one. First off, the
whole “I watch porn all the time and I’m fine” argument has some
pretty big holes in it. Our first question to that would be if you have
ever tried going without porn for a while. A month? What about 90
days? Not admitting you have a problem because you never tested it
is not the same thing as not having a problem.
The second reason is that porn will always affect how you see
others. This has huge play in current or future romantic
relationships. Studies have shown that after viewing porn, people
experience less attraction to their partner and less sexual
satisfaction. Even in situations of infrequent porn use. Basically, porn
contributes to intimacy FOMO (Fear of missing out). If we’re always
on the lookout for bigger, better, shinier, we’ll never be able to enjoy
with what we have.
Last reason; there is no such thing as “Free-Trade” porn. While a lot
of industries are pushing to make sure their products come from
reliable, socially conscious sources that do not contribute to poverty,
slavery or violence, the porn industry is on it’s way back into the
dark ages. Open source porn sites are becoming more and more
popular and what that means is regulation is almost non-existent.
Anyone, from anywhere, can upload anything. If a subject’s age,
consent, and compensation are not recorded, we have no real way of
truly knowing. Seeing is not believing when it comes to porn. Are we
really going to trust an industry whose greatest safeguard is an “Are
you 18?” button?

Q: How long does it take people to “fix it?”

A: This is a bit of a loaded question. Usually what people actually
mean by this is one of two things: can you quit cold turkey, or how
long do you need to be sober before you don’t have a problem
anymore?
It is important to remember that cold turkey is another way of
saying “eventually I had a last time”. Some people get around to
their last setback faster than others. The idea that you can declare a
setback to be officially the very last is just silly. What matters is
making a plan, learning and being patient, focusing on the positive
and building healthy connections. This is not an excuse, it is a
reality. Recovery is not simply a result of willpower, it is the result of
practice.
Ready for a hard truth? Porn will probably always be something you
have a weakness for. That does not mean it will always be a problem
for you or that you will always have setbacks. Recovery done right
will fill your life with positive habits, supportive atmosphere, and
strengthen your character. Porn w]may be just as accessible and
destructive, but you can become stronger. The problem is, asking how
long that will take is like asking how long it takes to get a six-pack.
It depends. Everyone is different and everyone will have a different
journey but that doesn’t make it any less possible.






Chapter 10.1 - Fantasies & Haters

Note: If you start masturbating... because there are plenty of

haters... they gonna fulfill their goal to ruin you and in the same
time you gonna self -destroy yourself.

P.S. - People who are haters... are most likely the people who
want to destroy you or let's say they are people which envy on what
you have.

Note: Life is not a fantasy... stop staying at home




Like this and thiking one day a girl is going to knock, knock on
your door and will ask you out. - THis is not a film (In film this is
written on the screenplay... so the knocking, is a possiblity in the
movie, but in real life - NAAH), stay home on the coach... a
minimizing all type of ways contancting with somebody face to face.


YOu decide to stay on the coach or on the chair and start
watching TV
start chatting
on social media
start wasting
time



Stop fantasizing things which won't happen... try to live in
reality... because fantasy won't leave you anywhere...
Yeah I did on fantasy
Yeah ... I got accepted
Yeah I had some kinda relationship


- Fantasy (That's what happen)


I can't do it
It's too hard
Ohh god... what now



- Reality (That's RW - Real World)

Note: You ain't gonna get attention watching such type of stuff

I mean pornography

Images
Videos
 Webcams
Sexcams

...

Look she or he knows that there are people who gonna watch her...
but she/he doesn't know "You"
...

She doesn't know what type of guy are you

How you look
What you do... what type of hobbies
and so on and so on..


That you all masturbate... this is a process of 3 hours... then the
other 21 hours what do you do?

Let's say 10 hours for sleeping... and the other 11?
...

Come on ... come on?

What do you really do?


All day, all night


only pornography... this is an addiction



















Overthinking

Anxiety and Overthinking Everything.Anxiety and overthinking tend
to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type
of anxietydisorder is the tendency to overthinkeverything.
The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for
anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome.






Anxiety and Overthinking Everything


Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the
horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to
overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on
the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome.
I’ve been accused of making problems where there aren’t any. To me,
though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes
me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in
many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn’t helpful
at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn’t have
to be a permanent part of our existence.

Ways Anxiety Causes Overthinking

An effect of any type of anxiety is overthinking everything. There
are common themes to the way anxiety causes overthinking. Perhaps
this generic list will remind you of specific racing thoughts you
experience and help you realize that you’re not alone in overthinking
everything because of anxiety.

Obsessing over what we should say/should have said/did

say/didn’t say (common in social anxiety)
Worrying incessantly about who we are and how we are
measuring up to the world (common in social and performance
anxiety)
Creating fearful what-if scenarios about things that could go
wrong for ourselves, loved ones, and the world (common
in generalized anxiety disorder)
Wild, imagined results of our own wild, imagined faults and
incompetencies (all anxiety disorders)
Fear of having a panic attack in public and possibly thinking that
you can’t leave home because of it (panic disorder with or
without agoraphobia)
Worrying about a multitude of obsessive thoughts, sometimes
scary ones and thinking about them constantly (obsessive-
compulsive disorder)
Thinking — overthinking — a tumbling chain of worries, vague
thoughts, and specific thoughts (all anxiety disorders)

Result of Anxiety and Overthinking

With anxiety, not only are these thoughts (and more) running
through our brains, but they are always running through our
brains, non-stop, endlessly. Like a gerbil hooked up to an
endless drip of an energy drink, they run and run and wheel
around in one place, going absolutely nowhere. Day and night,
the wheel squeaks.

Anxiety and overthinking everything makes us both tired and
wired. One result of the thinking too much that comes with
anxiety is that we are often left feeling physically and
emotionally unwell. Having these same anxious messages run
through our head everywhere we go takes its toll.

Further, another dangerous result of anxiety and overthinking
everything is that we start to believe what we think. After all, if
we think it, it’s real, and if we think it constantly, it’s very real.
Right? No. This is a trick anxiety plays. Anxiety causes
overthinking, but with anxiety, these thoughts aren’t always
trustworthy.

You have the power and the ability to interfere in anxiety’s
overthinking everything. It’s a process that involves many steps,
but a step you can take right now to slow down that gerbil is to
have something with you or around you to divert your attention.
Rather than arguing with your thoughts or obsessing over them,
gently shift your attention onto something else, something
neutral. By thinking about something insignificant, you weaken
anxiety’s ability to cause you to overthink everything.
I explain this further in the below video. I invite you to tune
in.



Anxiety & Overthinking


Note: The most cases of overthinking if we are talking about
porn and relationship, is that you start thinking that

They already know
If they know you gonna get fucked up
THey see you
They think about you
They gonna laugh


They gonna find out


....

But the truth as Mark J from the Kezia Noble team said nobody
really cares... if you want make a try

...

Go out side

say dumb things which come in your mind

...

People will suprise... for few minutes then... everything ends... so

you are going to be famous for few minutes then forggoten
forever.



If somebody wants to ruin your day... will start pointing out
your leaks, then

to try to depress you


like


People care what you say
Nobody likes you
How can you do that
You are bad boy
You are a bad girl
You are awful
You are disgusting


and so on and so on...

why to get on overthinking (when.... I am who I am.... that's
me... I can make some changes... but to care what people say
won't
get me anywhere... my mom want me to work, my friends
say to study, my teacher want me to learn... and in the end
some people don't get satisfy...

life is not other people's satisfaction, it's your life

Not somebody else life... so you decide what next to do... and
who to satisfy and who not... or in other cases... satisfy
yourself...




 And it happen



16. Erotica is a healthy alternative to hard-core porn.

In 2011, the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey was released. In

March 2012, it hit the top of the New York Times bestseller list,
where it would stay for thirty weeks.News agencies labeled it
“mommy porn”, and some said that, coupled with the perceived
discretion of e-readers, it completely changed the way women
consume porn.People might be hesitant to sit in a public area
with an erotic book in full view, but when they are simply staring
at words on a screen, no one can tell whether they are reading
sadomasochistic material or War and Peace.
While the Fifty Shades craze was in full swing, a movie featuring
a shirtless, sculpted Channing Tatum hit the box offices. Magic
Mike netted almost $40 million during its opening weekend.

Women flocked to see it. As one writer said, “We are in the
golden age of mom porn. The Fifty Shades trilogy has surpassed
10 million copies sold worldwide, and Magic Mike is looking to
become the biggest R-rated, G-stringed movie of all time. It’s
literally a mom pornucopia.” This one-two punch in support of
women’s rights to sexual expression sparked debate over cultural
double standards on sexuality, and it peeled back a corner of a
world not often discussed—erotica and softcore pornography.
Erotica has been around for thousands of years. Strictly
speaking, the term is used to describe sexually explicit material—
whether in painting, photography, sculpture, or literature—that
is perceived to be tasteful. This form of art, while it can result in
the sexual arousal of the viewer, is ultimately defined by a desire
to elevate sexuality to something captivating and beautiful.
Today, when the average person mentions erotica, he is not
talking about
Michelangelo’s David. More than likely, he is talking about a mild
form of pornography. It’s not hard-core, because it doesn’t
blatantly show certain aspects of sexuality, and it may involve
an element of intellect and romance. The line between erotica
and pornography, especially soft-core, is often blurred, and the
two overlap.67
Like the line between erotica and pornography, the line between
soft-core and hard-core pornography is also undefined. Soft-
core, like hard-core, consists of film and photographed images.
Unlike hard-core pornography, soft-core does not generally
show genitalia and may use strategic camera angles and prop
placement to hide body parts. Still, “someone who is unused to
viewing pornography may view some soft-core works as hard-
core. An individual who regularly consumes porn may feel that
some porn in the hard-core category is actually soft-core.

Take, for instance, pro-sex porn movements such as Make Love

Not Porn. This movement recognizes pornography itself is a poor
sexual educator. So, instead of showcasing mainstream
pornography with its bronzed, big-busted blondes, Make Love
Not Porn showcases “real sex” between real couples in order to
show viewers what real sex is like and how it differs from the sex
in the porn industry.9 This may seem like a healthy alternative
to aggressive and misogynistic mainstream pornography.
In this sense, both erotica and soft-core pornography have
existed for millennia. In the nineteenth century, so-called French
postcards were a type of precursor to Playboy, which was
originally soft-core pornography.10 Since it predates the
Internet and is missing many of the aggressive elements that
make up hard-core pornography, it may seem to be a healthier
alternative.


After all, it is only words, or only pictures. But does that
really mean it is a healthier choice?
If we take Fifty Shades of Grey as an example, the answer would
be no, for a number of reasons. Since its publication, much has
been said about the violent nature of the sex portrayed in Fifty
Shades. Although we might think that words are not as
damaging as pictures, it turns out they can be. In a recent study,
psychologists found that women who read Fifty Shades of Grey
were more likely to accept behaviors found in abusive
relationships. Among other things, the women were 25 percent
more likely to have verbally abusive partners. Those tendencies
may have existed before they read the book or as a result of
reading the book, but either way, the book clearly endorses the
beliefs that undergird abusive relationships.11 It turns out that
words can be just as effective as pictures and movies when it
comes to normalizing abusive behavior
A study published in the Journal of Women’s Health found that
emotional abuse is present in nearly every interaction in Fifty
Shades, including stalking, intimidation, isolation, and the use of
alcohol to compromise consent. The main character, Anastasia,
experiences the typical reactions of an abused woman, including
nausea induced by the sense of menace she experiences in her
sexual encounters.12
Some might say that Fifty Shades is an extreme form of erotica.
But the novel got its start as a piece of online fan fiction, a form
of writing that is often highly sexual in nature. Fan fiction has
been called a phenomenon of the digital age, with millions of
authors worldwide.13 Its authors essentially write spinoff stories
based on characters from popular movies, books, or TV shows.
Fifty Shades of Grey was originally published as Twilight fan
fiction. (And it’s worth noting that Twilight also received some
flak for normalizing an abusive sexual relationship.14)
To the casual observer, fan fiction might seem harmless. There is
nothing wrong with amateur authors practicing story writing
with existing characters or public figures. But fan-fiction stories
are typically not tame by any stretch of the imagination. On one
popular fan-fiction site, roughly 75 percent of the stories are
sexual in nature.15 “When Disney was trying to promulgate the
story that the Jonas Brothers were strict Christians who wore
rings to symbolize their commitment to not putting it about, fan
fiction sites were full of stories of girls being ravished by the
band in incestuous foursomes.”16
But why does it matter? Shouldn’t we celebrate creativity and
allow people to express themselves sexually?
Fifty Shades of Grey is a perfect example of a piece of
erotic / pornographic literature that went mainstream.

It is the fastest-selling paperback ever.17 After this piece of

“mommy porn” was turned into a movie (rated R, mind you), sex
stores saw an increase in sex-toy sales—and not just any sex
toys but bondage sex toys, just like those used in the book, and,
subsequently, the movie. One store reported a 92 percent
increase in sales of such toys, and as one customer said, “The
book definitely inspired me. I want to buy the handcuffs, the
beads, the feather. It was all so hot.”18
So, instead of asking whether erotica is a healthier alternative to
pornography, perhaps you should be asking whether it is an
alternative at all.




Note: Few minutes of relief... let's put it like a god complex...
few minutes... just few minutes... and the next few
hours... scrutiny

...



6 Tips to Stop Overthinking


Note: So for few drops of happiness... we want and in the
end we get shame, disgust, fucked up, screw up and even angry.




Whether they beat themselves up over a mistake they made
yesterday or fret about how they’re going to succeed tomorrow,
overthinkers are plagued by distressing thoughts—and their
inability to get out of their own heads leaves them in a state of
constant anguish.
While everyone overthinks things once in a while, some
people just can’t ever seem to quiet the constant barrage of
thoughts. Their inner monologue includes two destructive
thought patterns—ruminating and worrying.

Ruminating involves rehashing the past:
I shouldn’t have spoken up in the meeting today. Everyone
looked at me like I was an idiot.
I could have stuck it out at my old job. I would be happier if I
would have just stayed there.
My parents always said I wouldn’t amount to anything. And
they were right.
Worrying involves negative—often catastrophic—predictions
about the future:
I’m going to embarrass myself tomorrow when I give that
presentation. My hands will shake, my face will turn red,
and everyone will see that I’m incompetent.
I’ll never get promoted. It doesn’t matter what I do. It’s not
going to happen.
My spouse is going to find someone better than I am. I’m
going to end up divorced and alone.
Overthinkers don’t just use words to contemplate their lives.
Sometimes, they conjure up images. too. They may envision their
car going off the road or replay a distressing event in their minds
like a movie. Either way, their tendency to overthink everything
holds them back from doing something productive.

The Dangers Of Overthinking

Thinking too much about things isn’t just a nuisance; it can
take a serious toll on your well-being. Research(link is
external) finds that dwelling on your shortcomings, mistakes,
and problems increases your risk of mental-health problems.
And as your mental health declines, your tendency to ruminate
increases, leading to a vicious cycle that is hard to break.
Studies(link is external) also show that overthinking leads to
serious emotional distress. To escape that distress, many
overthinkers resort to unhealthy coping strategies, such
as alcohol or food.

If you’re an overthinker, you likely already know you
can’t sleep when your mind won’t shut off. Studies(link is
external) confirm this, finding that rumination and worry lead to
fewer hours of sleep and poorer sleep quality.

How To Stop Overthinking

Putting an end to rehashing, second-guessing, and
catastrophic predictions is easier said than done. But with
consistent practice, you can limit your negative
thinking patterns:

1. Notice When You’re Thinking Too Much

Awareness is the first step in putting an end to overthinking.
Start paying attention to the way you think. When you notice
yourself replaying events in your mind over and over, or
worrying about things you can’t control, acknowledge that your
thoughts aren’t productive.

2. Challenge Your Thoughts

It’s easy to get carried away with negative thoughts. Before
you conclude that calling in sick is going to get you fired, or that
forgetting one deadline is going to cause you to become
homeless, acknowledge that your thoughts may be
exaggeratedly negative. Learn to recognize and replace thinking
errors before they work you into a complete frenzy.

3. Keep The Focus On Active Problem-Solving

Dwelling on your problems isn’t helpful, but looking for
solutions is. Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from
a mistake or avoid a future problem. Instead of
asking whysomething happened, ask yourself what you
can do about it.

4. Schedule Time For Reflection

Stewing on problems for long periods of time isn’t productive,
but brief reflection can be helpful. Thinking about how you could
do things differently or recognizing potential pitfalls to a plan,
for example, can help you do better in the future. Incorporate 20
minutes of “thinking time” into your daily schedule. During this
time, let yourself worry, ruminate, or mull over whatever you
want. Then, when the time is up, move onto something more
productive. When you notice yourself overthinking things outside
of your scheduled time, remind yourself that you’ll think about
it later.

5. Practice Mindfulness

It’s impossible to rehash yesterday or worry about tomorrow
when you’re living in the present. Commit to becoming more
aware of the here and now. Mindfulness takes practice, like any
other skill, but over time, it can decrease overthinking.

6. Change The Channel

Telling yourself to stop thinking about something can
backfire. The more you try to avoid the thought from entering
your brain, the more likely it is to keep popping up. Busying
yourself with an activity is the best way to change the channel.
Exercise, engage in conversation on a completely different
subject, or get working on a project that will distract your mind
from a barrage of negative thoughts.





How to Stop the Weird Thoughts Caused By Anxiety

Note: The Same happen and to me, anxiety makes you
worried. Getting worried by itself it will make you depressed...

...

Aka Social Awkwardness

How to Stop the Weird Thoughts Caused By Anxiety

Anxiety genuinely affects the way you think. That's one of the
reasons that so few people treat it. They have all of these weird
thoughts and they feel so natural that they think there is either
something wrong with them or that there is nothing wrong at
all. Few people actually realize that anxiety changes how you
see things and how you view things, and makes them all worse.
So when anxiety starts causing weird thoughts, few people
actually get help. Instead, they try to fight the thoughts
themselves, and ultimately only make these weird thoughts
worse.

Weird Thoughts = Anxiety?

Weird thoughts may simply be thoughts. Many people have
unusual day dreams or awkward fantasies, and in general they
mean nothing. When these thoughts start controlling your life,
that's when anxiety is often the cause. Take my free 7 minute
anxiety test to learn more about your anxiety and its solutions.
Start the test here.

What Defines a Weird Thought?

The reality is that there are many thoughts that are
completely normal - even strange thoughts that make you feel
awkward or uncomfortable once in a while. It's not about the
thoughts themselves, it's about how they impact your life.
If you're finding that these weird thoughts are causing you
significant distress, and often either cause anxiety themselves or
occur during periods of anxiety, that's when an anxiety problem
is likely. Take my anxiety test to find out more.

Examples of Weird Thoughts

The occasional weird thought doesn't generally cause that
much distress. A problem usually occurs when either the
thoughts are getting consistently weirder or they're becoming
obsessions, where you cannot seem to stop thinking these weird
thoughts.
Obsessive compulsive disorder is the most common anxiety
disorder with "weird" thoughts, although they can occur in other
types of anxiety as well. Many of the thoughts in OCD are
generic, such as a fear of contamination (fear of germs). But
these aren't necessarily described as "weird" subjectively. They're
irrational, and they're often distressing, but they're not weird.
Usually when people start to become concerned over their
weird thoughts, it's because the thoughts have become some
type of cultural taboo. For example:
Thoughts of aggressive, violent, or perverse sexual acts.
Thoughts of assault or murder, especially when gory.
Thoughts of religious shame, hell, or Satanism.
It's important to remember that "weird" is a subjective quality,
so what may be weird for one may not be weird for others.
Sometimes the thoughts can be truly strange, such as imagining
unusual creatures doing unusual things either during dreams or
in real life. But the most common strange thoughts are the ones
above.
All weird thoughts and obsessions may be a sign of obsessive
compulsive disorder. Often, although not always, those with OCD
end up creating compulsions (behaviors that a person feels they
"must" do) in order to stop the thoughts from occurring.

These Thoughts Are Caused By Anxiety

There are other disorders that can cause unusual, often
unwanted thoughts. Only a psychologist can correctly determine
whether or not your thoughts are the result of something other
than an anxiety disorder. Psychologists may also look to see if
you also have other anxiety symptoms, which are important for
an anxiety diagnosis. Take my anxiety test to learn more if you
haven't yet.
But if the question is whether or not anxiety can cause weird
thoughts, the answer is absolutely yes. Anxiety changes the way
you think, causing you to have more negative, and ultimately
more unusual thoughts. Anxiety also makes regular weird
thoughts more common - many people without anxiety have the
occasional weird thought, but those with anxiety tend to focus
on those thoughts more, worry about them, and then allow
those thoughts to come back.

You Cannot Force Yourself to Stop the Thoughts

Another problem for those with anxiety is that they often
want to force themselves to stop thinking those strange
thoughts. So they tell themselves to stop thinking about it.
Unfortunately, studies have shown that if you try to not have a
thought, you're actually more likely to get it again than if you
hadn't tried to stop it. You're also more likely to suffer from
similar thoughts, because the fear of having the weird thought
causes more of them in uncomfortable situations.

 Tips to Control Weird Thoughts

Remember that what's weird to one person may not be weird
to the next, and you can have weird thoughts without OCD. Panic
disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and more all may
create unusual thoughts and feelings that you weren't expecting.
It's also important to realize that one of the issues that
causes these weird thoughts is fear that you'll have them in the
first place. Fighting your thoughts is an impossible task - the
more you fight them, the worse they'll get, and the more you'll
worry about the thoughts occurring (which causes them to occur
even more often).
There are some things you can do to reduce the effects of
weird thoughts. These include:

Accepting the Thoughts

Your first, mandatory step for controlling these weird
thoughts is to accept them. You need to allow yourself to have
those thoughts without worrying about what they mean, if you
can control them, or what they say about you.
Accept that your thoughts are caused by your anxiety, and
they don't mean anything. It doesn't matter how violent, sexual,
or genuinely strange the thought is. Anxiety causes all sorts of
weird thoughts, and if you want to have any hope of controlling
them then you have to come to the realization that they don't
mean anything.
The pressure you put on yourself not to have those thoughts
is completely counterproductive. Don't worry about the
thoughts, and instead find whatever way you can to laugh them
off or remind yourself that it's simply a symptom of your
disorder.

Over-Thinking On Purpose

Another effective strategy that many people complete with
their psychologists is over-thinking the thought. This is a process
designed to ensure that the thought causes less fear. Essentially,
you purposefully have the thought often until it no longer
affects you.
Sit in a room and keep having the thought over and over.
Don't worry about it causing anxiety - just let yourself be afraid,
and keep thinking about it. Your body will eventually get used to
the thought and to the fear, and you won't be as afraid of having
the thought or similar thoughts in the future.

Writing the Thought Out Fast

Your brain (especially when you have anxiety) hates the idea
of forgetting things. It will focus on thoughts over and over
again if it's trying not to forget them, and it will keep you awake
at night if it's worried that you'll wake up the next day without
remembering what you thought about.
The same thing often occurs with strange thoughts. That's
why when you have a weird thought, it's often a good idea to
find a place to write it out somewhere. Don't worry about what
the thought means or what it says about you. Just write it down
so that it's kept in a permanent (but private) place. This will
reduce some of the impact the thought has on your memory,
and possibly make it less likely for the thought to occur again.

Surefire Solutions for Weird Thoughts From Anxiety

Thoughts are just thoughts - they're not something you can
control. That's one of the reasons that so many people find their
thoughts distressing and try to stop it. They start to convince
themselves that these thoughts mean something and that they
must want to have them. Then they feel shame, fear, or
embarrassment over these thoughts.
Unfortunately, you simply cannot control your thoughts or
stop them from coming back without help. The above strategies
should reduce the number of weird thoughts you have or how
you respond to them, but you will still need to deal with the
underlying issue: your anxiety.
 I've helped thousands of people suffering from weird
thoughts control their anxiety. You need to first start with my
free anxiety test.


Test: https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety-test/



So here is what happen to me:

This here damn true, I will suggest to you to take also the test



Ruminations

Recurrent thoughts that are distressing and disturbing

Quite frequently, you must wish there was some kind of
switch that you could use to just turn your mind off. You usually
have trouble sleeping because you’re always worried and
stressed about something. Sometimes you’ll obsess over actual
problems; other times, you’ll just make up problems so you can
worry about them. You are addicted to negative thought
patterns, and you can’t seem to help yourself no matter how
hard you try. Sometimes you may feel like you can’t live with
yourself, but you must remember that anxiety is the source of
your issues, not your mind. Once you learn how to manage your
condition, you’ll get back in touch with yourself, and life will
progressively get better!


Existential Anxiety

Anxiety state related to personal mortality, self-acceptance,
guilt, and meaninglessness

You have intense levels of existential anxiety, which
consistently erode your sense of well-being. You spend countless
hours trying to understand the reason and purpose of your
existence, only to reach the same conclusion: it’s not worth it,
and you would better not exist. In such moments, you may feel
indifferent concerning your life and health, and this may push
you toward addictive behaviors and reckless attitudes. This can
be very dangerous and devastating, and that’s why you must
seriously think about treating your anxiety: the longer you take
to start doing so, the harder it will be.


Physiological Anxiety

Somatic manifestations of anxiety such as fatigue, tension,
digestive problems, palpitations or pounding heart, sweating,
and so on.

Even though you may have occasional stress, it’s unlikely to
ever translate into serious physical symptoms. If anything, your
worst manifestations of anxiety are limited to moderate nail
biting when you happen to be nervous. You may sometimes feel
fatigued and tense and even experience minor digestive
problems, but those are very normal reactions to having a
modern and fast-paced lifestyle. All in all, you have much to be
thankful for; anxiety is a terrible plague disrupting the life of
millions of people worldwide, but you are part of the privileged
group of people whose anxiousness doesn’t really diminish their
physiological well-being.



Note: That's my test... not all of it... but a part of it... from
here I am telling you... it didn't took too much time as first and
as second
what you see is true.



All this feels great



P.S. - The end reason over takes mind and it starts ruin all of
your personality.

...

If that comes as 2) why as first ....1) did that?





Chapter 11 - She/He is Sweet

Yes she/he is sweet

but what are this images, videos are going to give you?

High life expectancy?
Social life?
Creative life?
Productive life?
...


NOTHING IS THE ANSWER




Yes she/he is sweet


but what are this images, videos are going to give you?

High life expectancy?
Social life?
Creative life?
Productive life?
...


NOTHING IS THE ANSWER





Yes she/he is sweet


but what are this images, videos are going to give you?

High life expectancy?
Social life?
Creative life?
Productive life?
...


NOTHING IS THE ANSWER






2016: The Porn Free Year




Welcome to another year.

Depending on how 2015 went for you and how you feel about
your future, the simple idea of 365 unknown days ahead of you
could be terrifying or exciting. Few moments have the power to evoke
so many different emotions like standing smack dab between your
past and future. Looking in both directions at the same time seeing
vast, empty horizons one way, and a cluttered collection of
memories in the other. We often have the rather annoying habit of
looking back on our past and using it as a measuring stick for our
future. If you are lucky enough you have a past full of many good
days and few disappointments, this can be good and motivating.
However, if you, like so many of us, have a hard time finding
anything behind you that proves you will have a bright and shining
future, looking back is not all that useful. So look ahead instead.

This New Year is opportunity, potential and unwritten days. If we
free ourselves from coloring it with our past, 2016 can be a blank
slate. We can use each day to build and grow and move forward. But
like an architect we need a plan, we need blueprints to this future.
This is what our resolutions are for.

Resolutions Are Not A Wish

A kiss at midnight will not change anything, and there is no
magic in counting backwards from ten to one. If your resolution is an
idle passing thought of what you hope will come to pass, it will have
little or no effect on the days ahead. If you want to make a
difference this year it will come from your choices and actions. So
plan ahead.
A good New Years resolution is written down and contains SMART
(Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Timely) goals and real
steps. Take your time with it and think hard about what you want to
accomplish and how you’re going to get there. Do you want to have
a porn free year? Of course you do. So how are you going to have a
porn free day, week, and month? Break down your resolution to
simple attainable goals that you can measure every day.
Resolutions must be resolved and strong. Remember, you cannot
make real change on willpower alone. Recovery is about patience
and practice so your 2016 goals should reflect that.

Looking Back To Learn

Remember how we said you should look forward, not back? Well,
we lied. Kinda.
This last year was a good one. For two simple reasons: if you are
reading this article you are still here and you are still trying. So no
matter what happened in 2015 and before, there were good parts,
really good parts. When you are making your plans and goals for
your future, the experiences from your past can be very useful. They
are not necessarily an indicator of what you can do or are capable
of, but can be a learning tool.
Look back on your experiences and examine them like a scientist.
Try not to put pressure on yourself or any type of guilt or shame. If
this is a little too hard for you focus on the positive. Find good
experiences and victories and look at what you did to make theme
happen.
When examining your setbacks and mistakes, just let them be.
The past is a record and it is useful but it is also dead and gone. The
year 2015 no longer exists but we can study it’s bones and learn it’s
secrets. If you can handle it, look at things that lead up to bad days
and use the information to build an even better resolution. Look back
through your Battle Tracker trends and find things that can help you
make goals and strategies.
For example, if you notice that the majority of your setbacks
occur on a specific device, make a plan accordingly. You could try
filtration software or even getting rid of it for a while. When making
these plans and strategies it can be very, very useful to include your
accountability partner. They are a part of your past and can help
you create a better future too.
So go ahead, look back, but only if you use it to build a better
future.

365 Days To Mess Up

Ok, Porn Free in 2016. Can you do it?
What if you mess up?
What if you already have?
Well, our friend Brad messaged us and we think his story might
help answer some of these questions.
“This was going to be my year.
On my way home from the parties on New Year’s Eve, friends and
I discussed our resolutions. “Get in better shape”, “Do better in
school”, and “Travel more” were all pretty common answers. I
nodded my head in agreement and listed the cities and countries I
wanted to visit this year with the others but I knew there was only
one goal I really cared about.
I was learning, and growing. I was doing the Fortify Program and
really seeing some progress. I wasn’t perfect yet but my streaks were
getting longer and my setbacks were getting shorter. I had good
battle strategies and I was finally going to get an accountability
partner. Being porn free was my very first goal for 2016. On top of it
all, I had a plan. A pretty good one I thought. I had broken my life
down into categories that were important to me and made simple
daily and weekly goals for each one. Even things like daily exercise
and more socializing, less video-games. I was committed to
recording my progress in my battle tracker every day, and I was sure
it was going to full of victories.
I made it to January 2.
I felt so stupid.
That’s it. It’s over, I thought. New Year’s Resolution done. But then
I realized that I had been looking at this thing all wrong.
Porn Free in 2016 sounds like a great goal. It’s catchy and
motivating but it misses the point. It’s missing a why.
I knew that I had two options, the same two options I always
had: give up or keep fighting. So yeah, I couldn’t give myself a sticker
that says “Porn Free in 2016” but I still had 363 days left. My new
year’s resolution wasn’t just about being able to check all those days
off as victories. It was and is about become a better version of
myself. It’s about learning to be in control of my life and learning
how to be happy. Learning how to love and grow and change the
way that I want to and know I can. I still have 363 days that I can
make good days, and I am not going to waste them.”
Porn Free in 2016 is a great goal but if you don’t have a why
behind it, it can be fragile. When you make your resolutions and plan
out your future, don’t be afraid to aim high. Just remember what you
are really fighting for, write it down and make it a real part of your
goals. Make a list if you have lots of reasons, the more the merrier.
The reasons why you fight can carry you when you fall. They can
turn a resolution from a nice idea, into an immortal mindset.
Always remember why you fight.



The 7 Mental Traps That Porn Addicts Fall Into



Have you ever wanted anything more than a porn-free life? For
most Fortifiers, their desire to break free from their addiction has
been as all-consuming as their addiction itself. Even when things get
discouraging and we want to give up, that desire never truly fades.
When we are actively pursuing our recovery, that hope tends to burn
brighter and brighter. It is motivating and wonderful, and can keep
us moving on the right path. However, if we aren’t careful, our
determination can send us charging recklessly off the tracks.
Recovery is most effective when it is pensive, methodical, and
consistent. Anyone who tries to fast forward their recovery is in for a
rude awakening. It’s all about balance. Keep moving forward while
still remembering that recovery is a process.

As important as it is to support a positive outlook throughout
your recovery, it is equally important to make sure you aren’t falling
into any mental traps. When dealing with addiction, we end up
combatting things like depression and anxiety. As a result, even if
you’re working really hard on creating a positive lifestyle, this
backwards thinking won’t get you very far at all. Here are some
ways of thinking to be aware of and try to avoid.

All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white
categories, with no middle ground.
“If I have one setback, I’m a total failure.”
No porn is good porn. No setback is a good setback. But does
watching porn or having a setback make you a bad person? NO! In
recovery, there is no such thing as failure. Yes, we have missteps and
mistakes, but there is never a “point-of-no-return.” Failure is what
happens a person is no longer trying. As long as you are still
breathing, you can work on becoming the person you want to be. It
is impossible to be a Fortifier and a failure at the same time.

 Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative
experience, expecting it to hold true forever.
“I can’t do anything right.”.
This mentality can be disproved by a law of nature. First there is
no such thing as an absolute. Nothing is always anything. There are
exceptions to every rule. The idea that you can’t do anything right or
that you will always be a failure has been repeatedly disproved by
you trying to quit. So stop ignoring the evidence! The most
fundamental principle of nature is not permanence, it is change.

Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive
events don’t count.

“She said she had a good time on our date, but I think she was just
being nice.”
We can be prone to this way of thinking as a result of some of the
insecurities our addiction has injected into our life. Remember,
fighting for happiness is moot if you don’t believe you deserve it.
Don’t let the annoying little voice in your head tell you otherwise.
Try drowning it out, literally. If you find yourself diminishing the
positive, try giving yourself a pep-talk, out loud. It’s fun and it
works. Try it.

The negative filter – Ignoring positive events and focusing on the
negative instead. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather
than all the things that went right.
“I didn’t look at anything but I was close. Why am I so messed up?”
Every victory counts. Don’t disregard your progress because you
aren’t perfect yet. Enjoy the journey! If we aren’t working on
something, then we are just being bored and lazy. Take pride in the
fact that you working on bettering yourself. Work on being a little bit
better and give yourself licence to celebrate the little things.

Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without
actual evidence. You act like a mind reader or a fortune teller.
“They must think I’m pathetic. I’ll be stuck in this addiction forever.”
This comes into play a lot when dealing with other people, like
our accountability partners or people who we care about what they
think. We assume that they are going to judge us as harshly as we
judge ourselves. Think about that for a second. How would you react
to someone else in your situation? You’d obviously be sympathetic
and understanding. Stop assuming that others are judging you and
start believing they have your best interest in mind.

Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects
reality.
“I constantly feel like such a loser, therefore I must be a loser.”
Just because we think or feel something, that does not make it
true. Separating yourself from what goes on impulsively inside your
head is a valuable skill and will be very helpful to your recovery. Try
slowing down and taking time to react to your own experiences. It
might sound cheesy but breathing and meditation can be a big help
for this. Be curious about your feelings and challenge them, don’t
just blindly accept them. People who do this are more logical,
rational, and better at making decisions.

Labeling – Self-identifying based on mistakes and perceived
shortcomings
“I am a porn addict. I’m a loser, a failure, a weak person with no
self-control.”
We say again; you are not your addiction. Who you are is not the
same as where you are.
Moments of weakness don’t define you. You are not the result of
some sad events or simply the victim of an addiction.Yes, you have
struggles; yes, you have weaknesses; but those things do not matter
because you have the ability to be free. You just have to unlock it.
Tap into your potential step by step, day by day, learning and
growing.
Take the time to think about the mental traps on this list. They
may not all apply to you but it is very probable that you are prone
to at least one of these ways of thinking. Take these lessons and
build them into your battle strategies and plans. Take things one day
at a time and practice being self-aware and patient. When you work
towards your recovery you can be aware of your own mental pitfalls
and make even greater changes. Stay tuned in and you’ll stay on the
path to freedom.




Note: YOu could be having a great day, free from anxiety and
depression... but what now?


Afraid to look in people's eyes - Feel of shame
Feel of guilt


(No Reason at all... just feeling that)


There is a girl, but you are afraid of even striking one coversation
you put it for later... later goes for later which goes for another
tomorrow later... and later end ups in category never.
The same here for talking to a boy... this barriers



Don't exist... we just make them up


FEAR OF CHANGE
FEAR OF NEW THINGS
FEAR OF LIVING A NORMAL LIFE


Overview of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy


Rational emotive behavior therapy, also known as REBT, is a type
of cognitive-behavioral therapy developed by psychologist Albert
Ellis. REBT is focused on helping clients change irrational beliefs.
Let's take a closer look at how rational emotive behavior was
developed and how it works.

History of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

As a young man, Ellis found himself longing for companionship
yet experienced a severe fear of talking to women.
In order to tackle his fear, Ellis decided to perform an experiment.
For a month, his visited a nearby park and forced himself to talk to
100 different women. Over time, Ellis found that his fear of speaking
to women had diminished considerably. Ellis later explained that this
experience served as a basis for developing his approach to therapy,
combining behavioral strategies with assessing underlying thoughts
and emotions.
Ellis had trained as a clinical psychologist. As he treated patients,
he became increasingly dissatisfied with the results offered by the
traditional psychoanalytic approach to therapy that he was using at
the time. He noted that while his patients were able to become aware
of their underlying problems, their behavior did not necessarily
change as a result. Simply becoming conscious of the problem was
not enough to lead to actual changes in behavior, he concluded.
 By the 1950s, Ellis had started experimenting with other types of
psychotherapy and was heavily influenced by philosophers and
psychologists including Karen Horneyand Alfred Adler as well as the
work of behavioral therapists.
Ellis's goal was to develop what he viewed as an action-oriented
approach to psychotherapy designed to produce results by helping
clients manage their emotions, cognitions, and behaviors.
According to Ellis, "people are not disturbed by things but rather
by their view of things." The fundamental assertion of rational
emotive behavior therapy (REBT) is that the way people feel is largely
influenced by how they think.
When people hold irrational beliefs about themselves or the
world, problems can result. Because of this, the goal of REBT is to
help people alter illogical beliefs and negative thinking patterns in
order to overcome psychological problems and mental distress.
Rational emotive behavior therapy was one of the very first types
of cognitive therapies. Ellis first began developing REBT during the
early 1950s and initially called his approach rational therapy. In
1959, the technique was redubbed rational emotive therapy and
later rechristened rational emotive behavior therapy in 1992. Ellis
continued to work on REBT until his death in 2007.

The ABC Model

Ellis suggested that people mistakenly blame external events for
unhappiness. He argued, however, that it is our interpretation of
these events that truly lies at the heart of our psychological distress.
To explain this process, Ellis developed what he referred to as the
ABC Model:

A – Activating Event: Something happens in the environment

around you.
B – Beliefs: You hold a belief about the event or situation.
C – Consequence: You have an emotional response to your belief.

The events and situations that people encounter throughout life

are only one piece of the puzzle.
 In order to understand the impact of such events, it is also
essential to look at the beliefs people hold about these experiences
as well as the emotions that arise as a result of those beliefs.
The Basic Steps in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
In order to better understand how REBT looks, it is important to
take a closer look at how the therapeutic process itself.
1. Identify the Underlying Irrational Thought Patterns and Beliefs
The very first step in the process is to identify the irrational
thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that lead to psychological distress. In
many cases, these irrational beliefs are reflected as absolutes, as in "I
must," "I should," or "I cannot." According to Ellis, some of the most
common irrational beliefs include:

Feeling excessively upset over other people's mistakes or

misconduct.
Believing that you must be 100 percent competent and
successful in everything to be valued and worthwhile.
Believing that you will be happier if you avoid life's difficulties or
challenges.
Feeling that you have no control over your own happiness; that
your contentment and joy are dependent upon external forces.

By holding such unyielding beliefs, it becomes almost impossible

to respond to situations in a psychologically healthy way. Possessing
such rigid expectations of ourselves and others only leads to
disappointment, recrimination, regret, and anxiety.

2. Challenge the Irrational Beliefs

Once these underlying feelings have been identified, the next step
is to challenge these mistaken beliefs. In order to do this, the
therapist must dispute these beliefs using very direct and even
confrontational methods. Ellis suggested that rather than simply
being warm and supportive, the therapist needs to be blunt, honest,
and logical in order to push people toward changing their thoughts
and behaviors.

 3. Gain Insight and Recognize Irrational Thought Patterns

As you might imagine, REBT can be a daunting process for the
client. Facing irrational thought patterns can be difficult, especially
because accepting these beliefs as unhealthy is far from easy. Once
the client has identified the problematic beliefs, the process of
actually changing these thoughts can be even more challenging.
While it is perfectly normal to feel upset when you make a
mistake, the goal of rational emotive behavior therapy is to help
people respond rationally to such situations. When faced with this
type of situation in the future, the emotionally healthy response
would be to realize that while it would be wonderful to be perfect
and never make mistakes, it is not realistic to expect success in every
endeavor. You made a mistake, but that's okay because everyone
makes mistakes sometimes. All you can do is learn from the
situation and move on.
It is also important to recognize that while rational emotive
behavior therapy utilizes cognitive strategies to help clients, it also
focuses on emotions and behaviors as well. In addition to identifying
and disputing irrational beliefs, therapists and clients also work
together to target the emotional responses that accompany
problematic thoughts. Clients are also encouraged to change
unwanted behaviors using such things as meditation, journaling, and
guided imagery.

A Word From Verywell

REBT can be effective in the treatment of a range of psychological
disorders including anxiety and phobias as well as specific behaviors
such as severe shyness and excessive approval-seeking.






Publication Date: March 24th 2018

https://www.bookrix.com/-amd935e35df1e85