Asia Jones

Tuesday, October 31 ,2017

Class 7A

Salva’s Survival Factors

Did you know that there was a Sudanese Civil War in South Sudan? The novel A Long Walk

to Water by Linda Sue Park describes a 11 year-old boy named Salva that experienced the civil war,

and survives through the war by using many survival factors. Despite the challenges Salva faced he

was able to survive his journey because of his hope, his open-mind, and his determination.

One factor that Salva used to overcome his journey is hope to get through the Sudanese Civil

War. Salva and many other Lost Boys kept looking at the list, that sent some of the boys to America,

each time a new one was posted. Each time a list was posted, “Salva’s heart would pound as he read

the names. He tried not to lose hope.”(89) This shows Salva’s hope to go to America and to be on the

list. Salva is trying to prove himself to the rest of the group. As he was trying, “Salva lifted his head

proudly. They are wrong and I will prove it.”(66) This shows that Salva’s hope encouraged him to

prove himself and others wrong. Eventually he did, and it was because of his hope that he survived

his challenges in Sudan and Kenya.

Another reason Salva was able to survive his challenging journey was because of his open-

mind. Salva arrived in America and he tried to understand what his family was saying. When Salva

arrived, “He could not understand what anyone was saying especially Louise, who spoke so quickly

that at first he was not sure she was even speaking English.”(95) This demonstrates Salva’s open-

mind to adjust to a new culture, other English words, and so other people that speak English can

understand him if he needs help or if he’s in trouble. Salva started picking up English from the aid

workers in the camp. After so many years in the camp, “ Salva could understand a little English. He

even tried to speak it once in awhile, and Michael almost always seemed to understand what Salva

was trying to say.”(86). This shows Salva’s open-mind because he started talking English on his own

before anyone taught him anything.

 The final reason the Salva is able to survive his challenging journey is because of his

determination. Salva hurt his foot and his uncle helped him get through his tough time. While he was

in pain, “Each time, Salva would think of his family and his village, and he was somehow able to keep

his wounded foot moving forward, one painful step at a time.”(54) This shows Salva’s determination

to get through his pain. Salva wanted to see his father after he got an email from a cousin saying that

his father was in the hospital. However, “It took not days or weeks but months before all the plans

were in place.”(101) This shows Salva’s determination to escape his challenges were not only for his

own survival, but to be brought back to his family, which is what mattered most to him. He did

everything he could to see his father and he eventually did.

Due to his hope, his open-mind, and his determination Salva was able to overcome his

challenges. After going from refugee camp to refugee camp, Salva and the Lost boys were eventually

able to go to America even though they had challenges throughout the whole story. Salva has an

amazing story because of all the challenges he faced and how he got through those challenges.
 7th Expository Writing Rubric TOTAL SCORE: 15.75/ 16

Criteria 4 3 2 1 0
CONTENT AND clearly introduce a topic in a clearly introduce a topic introduce a topic in a introduce a topic in a manner demonstrate a lack of
manner that is compelling in a manner that follows manner that follows that does not logically follow
ANALYSIS: the and follows logically from from the task and generally from the task from the task and purpose
comprehension of the
extent to which the the task and purpose purpose and purpose text(s) or task
demonstrate little
essay conveys demonstrate insightful demonstrate grade- demonstrate a literal understanding of the text(s)
complex ideas and analysis of the text(s) appropriate analysis of comprehension of the
information clearly and the text(s) text(s)
accurately in order to
support claims in an
analysis. 3.75

COMMAND OF develop the topic with
relevant, well-chosen facts,
EVIDENCE: the definitions, concrete details,
extent to which the quotations, or other
essay presents information and examples
evidence from the from the text(s)
provided texts to sustain the use of varied,
support analysis and relevant evidence 4
reflection
exhibit clear organization, with
COHERENCE, the skillful use of appropriate
ORGANIZATION, and varied transitions to create
a unified whole and enhance
AND STYLE: the meaning
extent to which the
establish/maintain a formal style,
essay logically using grade-appropriate,
organizes complex stylistically sophisticated
ideas, concepts, and language and domain-specific
vocabulary.
information using
provide a concluding statement
formal style and
or section that is compelling and
precise language
follows clearly from the topic
and information presented 4 information presented
develop the topic with
relevant facts, definitions,
details, quotations, or
other information and
examples from the text(s)
sustain the use of
relevant evidence, with
some lack of variety
exhibit clear organization,
with the use of appropriate
transitions to create a
unified whole
establish and maintain a
formal style using precise
language and domain-
specific vocabulary
provide a concluding
statement or section that
follows from the topic and
information presented
partially develop the topic
of the essay with the use of
some textual evidence,
some of which may be
irrelevant
use relevant evidence
inconsistently
exhibit some attempt at
organization, with
inconsistent use of transitions
establish but fail to maintain
a formal style, with
inconsistent use of language
and domain-specific
vocabulary
provide a concluding
statement or section that
follows generally from the
topic and information
presented
demonstrate an attempt to
use evidence, but only
develop ideas with minimal,
occasional evidence which is
generally invalid or irrelevant
exhibit little attempt at
organization, or attempts to
organize are irrelevant to the
task
lack a formal style, using
language that is imprecise or
inappropriate for the text(s) and
task
provide a concluding statement
or section that is illogical or
unrelated to the topic and
provide no evidence or
provide evidence that
is completely irrelevant
exhibit no evidence of
organization
use language that is
predominantly
incoherent or copied
directly from the text(s)
do not provide a
concluding statement or
section

CONTROL OF demonstrate grade- demonstrate grade- demonstrate emerging demonstrate a lack of are minimal, making
appropriate command of appropriate command command of conventions, command of conventions, assessment of
CONVENTIONS: the conventions, with few errors of conventions, with with some errors that may with frequent errors that hinder conventions unreliable
extent to which the essay occasional errors that do hinder comprehension comprehension
demonstrates command 4 not hinder
of capitalization, comprehension
punctuation, and spelling
Asia, I am so proud of your dedication to your writing throughout this whole process! You took everything we learned in
class, and the feedback from myself and your peers to create such a beautiful essay. It is well organized, and includes all
the necessary parts to convey your claim. As you continue to improve your writing, always think deeply about your analysis,
and how it supports your claim, rather than simply saying that it does. So proud of your growth from start to finish.