Running

head: CONFLICT IN ROOMMATE RELATIONSHIPS 1

Conflict in Roommate Relationships

Living with a roommate is something inevitable for most traditional aged college

students and with that follows conflict. In a nationwide sample of 31,500 students as

reported by “The Importance of College Roommate Relationships: A Review and

Systemic Conceptualization” 50.1% of women and 44.1% of men reported frequent or

occasional conflict with roommates or housemates (Erb, Renshaw, Short, & Pollard,

2014). Though the specifics of the situations vary for students, having their living

situation be confined to a dorm environment or off campus housing, this is often the first

experience of sharing space with another in which case problems emerge. Conflict arises

within roommate relationships as a result of many factors, can be prevented through

planning and communication, and serve as valuable interpersonal relationships in the

lives of the college students involved.

Why does conflict occur?

Comparable to any relationship, conflicts between roommates can be the

consequence of countless issues, which are only escalated by the proximity of the

students. According to 2009 journal on Understanding Roommate Conflicts Among MSU

Students published through Minnesota State University, the participants ranked that the

biggest problems between themselves and their roommates were cleaning up trash and

messes which was a problem for 47% of the surveyed group, general communication

issues as a problem for 41%, guests 35%, the noise or destruction from parties 29%, and

sharing belongings, chores and food issues making up the last of the top five list as an

issue for 24% (Haplin, 2009). These conflicts, as well a collection of more issues, were

listed as prevalent causes for arguments and conflict among the young adults. The
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student’s disputes result in stress, which is already heightened by the changes of going to

college, and is the biggest obstacle to success for students (McCorkle and Mason, 2009).

Small issues like trash, or more lasting ones like destruction of property, result in from a

inconsistency in expectations between the roommates. The issues communicating and

dividing up tasks differ depending on the students, but can be traced back to the

difference in expected roles within the relationship.

How can we prevent it?

Though conflict seems inevitable for college roommates, there are ways to limit

or prevent issues with consideration to predisposition. A Boise State University study

titled, “Conflict in Residence Halls: A Preliminary Study of the Efficacy of Roommate

Negotiations to Reduce Roommate Conflict” reports that, “The ability to meet people and

resolving conflicts are the top two predictors of overall satisfaction with a housing

program” (McCorkle and Mason, 2009). Character factors aside, success for a roommate

is not only dependent on their individual personality, but also how they were paired.

There is data that has investigated how roommates today pair through social media,

randomly by universities, through past relationships, questionnaires, and other methods.

Haplin quoted in the MSU journal that “Often, randomly selected roommates work better

than those who were good friends in high school.” Students who filled out a personality

questionnaire were half as likely to request roommate changes than those who did not

match through a form. Contracts and agreements were found to be a successful way to

minimize initial conflict and open communication by both the BSU and MSU Journal. By

examining their preferences, and negotiating rules with their roommate, the students were

less likely to claim they had conflict. Positive communication is the best solution to some
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of these roommate problems. Haplin states, “Participants who felt comfortable

approaching their roommate with a problem they had about him or her, even if the

problem was minor, temporary, or unsolvable were more likely to actually talk to their

roommate about the problems” (Haplin, 2009). This shows the impact of having a

contract and a dialog about problems that may occur.

Outcomes of the relationship

There are benefits from living with a roommate that make the conflict and

resolution process worthwhile for students. The publication, “The Importance Of College

Roommate Relationships” states that there is proof that college roommate relationships

can have the power to enhance or reduce mental health, and adjustment to college. In

looking at positive relationships between roommates, this helps to protect them from

psychological stress. Those who rated themselves as having the best relationships with

their roommates had a much higher level of emotional adjustment than those who had

rated their relationship the worst. Also included in this research, is that the student’s

ability to form meaningful relationships with their peers, “Leads to gains in multiple

dimensions of psychological well-being, including environmental mastery, personal

growth, purpose in life, and self-acceptance” (Erb et al., 2014). Through their living

situation, being well adjusted to form a lasting relationship will help them receive these

benefits.

Conclusion

Whether the roommate relationship lasts one year, or throughout all four years of

college, there is likelihood for conflict among the students. These conflicts come from a

difference in the way they accomplish tasks, adjustments from their home life, and
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differences in expectations of the way roles will be divided or performed in their new

living space. Something small like leaving a mess from a party, can result in a large strain

on the roommate relationship if there is no predetermined idea of rules and expected

behaviors, like that of a contract. Having preset guidelines for how the roommates will

act, pairing roommates with compatible characteristics, and creating an environment

where communication can happen openly, will help to dissolve these issues. Ultimately,

despite the problems that can transpire between roommates, and the effort needed to

dissolve them, they can offer benefits to the student’s lives. They serve as helpful in

adjusting to the new school environment, can be effective in reducing stress, and can help

them grow in important aspects that will have lasting effects. These benefits and more

help to explain why we live with others, and show that although there is conflict at times,

there are lasting rewards to sharing your space.

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References

Erb, S., Renshaw, K., Short, J., & Pollard, J. (2014). The importance of college roommate

relationships: A review and systemic conceptualization. Journal of Student Affairs

Research and Practice,43-55. doi:10.1515/jsarp-2014-0004

Halpin, K. (2009). Roommate rants: Understanding roommate conflicts among MSU

students. Journal of Undergraduate Research,9, 1-30.

McCorkle, S., & Mason, S. G. (2009). Conflict in residence halls: A preliminary study of

the efficacy of roommate negotiations to reduce roommate conflict. Public Policy

and Administration Faculty Publications and Presentations, 2.