Shelby Starr

English Composition 1

Tammy Davis

16 November 2017

Are You Really Who You Say You Are?

During high school, I was bullied. I was bullied by a girl who portrayed herself as my

best friend, but little did I know who she really was behind a screen. Isn't that how everyone is

though? What we say and do defines us, but we all have a different side to us when we get

behind a computer screen.

The online world has come a long way. Starting at the first email and leaping to the

present with flying drones that take videos. Or Myspace, does anyone remember that? We all had

super cool profiles with personalized walls and music playlists. We would private message our

besties and swap new songs we just heard. The way we communicate with each other, compared

to then, has certainly taken a turn. What happened to face-to-face communication? Whether they

deny it or not, social media has changed us all.

In one way or another, everyone has “bullied” another person without realizing it.

According to Elizabeth Englander, a psychology professor at Bridgewater State University,

“when people don’t recognize that they’re addressing another person, their behavior may

change” (“What’s Behind Bad Behavior”). This simply meaning, that people know they won’t

have to face the other person in real life for the most part. Either the person is too scared to come

forward, or simply will never meet the online bully. This causes a bully to feel protected, in a

way. Another reason is the trend called trolling, which is basically any malicious act of making

online posts about someone, to make them upset or angry. In a survey ran my YouGov in 2014,
“28% of respondents admitted that they engaged in trolling, with most trolls being males and

most targets female” (Gammon 2014). While trolling is about making people feel bad, and

upset, it also brings sexual harassment to the table. Any form of online harassment proves that

most people are not who they claim to be.

One example of this online and sexual harassment, involves 21- year-old Alanah Pearce.

Being a video game reviewer, Pearce knew to expect some types of online harassment. But what

she did not expect, were “extremely venomous and explicit rape threats” (Bahadur, Englander

2014). Instead of simply ignoring the threats, Pearce decided to track down that those who

threatened her. And to her surprise, she found “that several of them were boys as young as 10

years old” (Englander 2014). After contacting mothers and receiving apology letters, Pearce

stated in her blog that “she didn’t believe the boy really wanted to rape her…he was trying to get

her attention and show off for his friends” (Englander 2014). After receiving messages from a

person pretending to be her deceased father, Lindy West confirms the idea that a “…living,

breathing human being is reading this…” (West, Englander 2014), after writing an article over

her experience, and later receiving an apology from the pretender.

Why do others act differently online than in person, really? Is it an insecurity issue, or do

others feel truly powerful when they manipulate another? In most cases, “the internet can be an

outlet for people who feel like they can’t do or say certain things in person” (Keefer 2017).

Nobody is perfect, but in the online world, we try to be. What is the problem? It is that “people

don’t know how to act because they try to pull of this persona that people want or expect”

(Keefer 2017). Being able to be outspoken, happy, and likable is what drives those who hide

behind a computer screen all day long. In person, they could be shy, rude, unapproachable, and

that’s not what anyone wants to be. Everyone is imperfect, some except that, most many do not.
In a world where social media is truly taking over our lives, it is scary to think that cat fishers,

trollers, and plain liars will always be a normal part of the online world.

Another common reason why we aim more for that Facebook message on our phones

than having lunch with one another, is due to the amount of effort needed for face-to-face

communication. Yes, effort. Studies have shown “that day-to-day interactions are based almost

entirely on nonverbal communication” (Margalit 2014). When in person, we rely on body

language, tone of voice, eye contact, etc., to tell how the other is thinking. Online, we don’t have

to worry about looking for these signs, because people tell themselves that they can read people

just by looking at the messages they sent, or their last post on Facebook.

Online interactions also suppress emotion. For example, Sharon Seline never understood

why her daughter took her own life while in college, just hours after speaking with her.

Everything that day was fine. Sharon would ask her daughter how her day was, and how

everything was going, and she would answer with “with positive statements followed by

emoticons of smiles and hearts” (Margalit 2014). Sharon’s daughter showed all the signs of

depression, but what could have saved her life was face-to-face communication with someone,

anyone. And no, this is not at all a blame on her mother for simply calling her daughter to see

how she was doing in school. But more of an awakening to how powerful in-person interaction

can really be, how it can save a person’s life.

Many people, can be offended when told they spend too much time online. Mainly,

because most feel that it is totally normal to be okay with online interaction and not in-person

communication. Society even, has made it appear normal to have two personalities. One

everyone sees, and one no one ever sees. The feeling of having to look a person in the eyes while

talking to them, frightens some people. Now given the benefit of the doubt, social anxiety is real.
It is understandable why some cannot simply spark up a conversation with someone at a cocktail

party anytime they please. Social media poses a real threat to our lives. It is separating people

from the outside world, turning bedrooms into caves for people to hide in and play on their

laptop. It’s time to put down the phone, close the laptop, hang up the earbuds and enjoy each

other’s company, in person.

 Works Cited

 Englander, Elizabeth. "What's behind Bad Behavior on the Web?" Educational

Leadership, vol. 72, no. 8, May 2015, pp. 30-34. EBSCOhost,

search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=aph&AN=102940884&site=ehost-live.

 Margalit, Liraz. “The Psychology Behind Social Media Interactions.” Psychology Today,

Sussex Publishers, 29 Aug. 2014, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/behind-online-

behavior/201408/the-psychology-behind-social-media-interactions.

 Keefer, Bailey. “Do We Act Differently Online Than In Person?” The Odyssey Online,

26 Aug. 2017, www.theodysseyonline.com/do-we-act-differently-online-then-in-person.