Drew DeWitt

Mrs. Davis

Composition 11

26 February 2017

Annotated Bibliographies

Battling Obesity in America - CBS News. 2010

www.bing.com/cr?IG=A2F5D680FB0B4AFD8D04EEC4ED993671&CID=0DEA2D14869867

A222EC26898737664F&rd=1&h=72fr0xgmuY92nfgThjo-

qccrU2PjIx8r3JDfxBxAA_0&v=1&r=https%3a%2f%2fwww.cbsnews.com%2fnews%2fbattling

-obesity-in-america%2f&p=DevEx,5067.1.

Obesity is a 147 billion dollar medical Burdon every year. Twelve million kids are obese. This

video comes from CBS, a broadcasting news service that is well known and well trusted. The

video mostly addresses the problem and gives a few ways on how this can be fixed. Being an

older source, some of the stats are out of date and not true today. However, this source shows

how long we have been addressing the problem. It tends to take the side of blaming ourselves on

the problem so it is a great fit.

Muntel, Sarah. Fast Food – Is it the Enemy? Obesity Action Coalition Comments. No date

provided. www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles-2/nutrition/fast-food-

is-it-the-enemy.

In the last 50 years, the amount of fast food restaurants and business has doubled. With that the

amount of calories and the amount of processing the food goes through has gone up as well,
causing the obesity problem we have today. Sarah Muntel is a well known, registered dictation.

She has been in the field for 12 years and has conducted many studies and research. Obesity

action coalition is a non-profit origination that studies foods and health and helps with the

obesity problem. This publication includes multiple stats and calorie amounts of foods at the top

fast food restaurants. She shows both sides of who is to blame without picking a side. This is a

great source piece that really gets you thinking. This is useful for my paper because she gives

great reasons for me to prove that its more of our individual faults for the obesity problem.

Obesity and the environment briefing: regulating the growth of fast food outlets. - GOV.UK.

2013 www.gov.uk/government/publications/obesity-and-the-environment-briefing-regulating-

the-growth-of-fast-food-outlets.

Fast food and obesity is also a problem in the UK. However, they are way ahead of the united

states because they are stricter and work harder to limit what the fast food companies can do.

This is a UK Governments document. The publisher is not included. This document primarily

focuses on taking fast food restaurants away from the schools, and it also gets into saying the

obesity problem is more caused by ourselves and our environments. Though this is a UK

document, it proves many points and has reasons for what it says. Since it is a Government

document It is highly reliable. I think this is a decent source for my essay. It helps prove my

point about it being our fault but it is a UK document, so it would change up the essay.

Mandal, MD Dr Ananya. “Obesity and Fast Food.” News-Medical.net, 30 Oct. 2017,

www.news-medical.net/health/Obesity-and-Fast-Food.aspx.
Obesity has become a problem in most of the world today. Obesity causes multiple health

problems one of the widest spreading being diabetes. Ananya Mandel is a doctor and is focused

mostly on obesity. I am not sure on her years of experience, but she seems very knowledgeable.

News Media Life Sciences is a web site that is full of doctor’s publications on all things health

and medical. This piece explains how the fast food had affected us. She provides information on

how it has affected BMI and the childhood obesity problems. Her points all match up with other

experts and with her being a Doctor it is a trusted source. This will fit my essay for providing

information on the problems of obesity at the beginning of the essay.

Weller, Chris. “Obesity In America: 94% Of Americans Blame Fat People For Being Obese, So

Why Is It Still A Problem?” Medical Daily, 23 Jan. 2014, www.medicaldaily.com/obesity-

america-94-americans-blame-fat-people-being-obese-so-why-it-still-problem-267684.

Us American’s have devolved a problem where we point fingers at others and not ourselves.

However, almost all American’s say it is obese peoples fault for being obese. Chris Weller is a

writer based in New York city that writes for several news paper and magazine companies. He is

also a stand-up comedian. Medical Dailey is a website that multiple authors post articles on all

medical subjects. Weller uses a trusted study throughout all of this piece to provide reliable facts

to back himself up. He goes over the amount of obese people and explains the different stuff

people blame for the problem. Since Weller has a study for examples I believe this is a trusted

source for my essay. This will be great for me explaining what ll people blame for the obesity

problem
Brody, Jane E. “Risks for Youths Who Eat What They Watch” The New York Times, 19 Apr.

2010, www.nytimes.com/2010/04/20/health/20brod.html.

Recently, the center for science in the public interest gave an F to 95 of 128 food companies.

Jame E. Brody is the personal health writer for the New York Times since 1965. She has spent

her whole career writing articles and columns for magazines and newspapers. The New York

Times is a well-known news source. Her article takes the side of blaming the food industry for

the obesity problem. She claims that they make the food addictive so that the companies can

make money. This source has many other facts and stats from other reliable sources. This is one

of the best sources for my essay. It fits my essay by giving me a source for the other view of

blaming ourselves.

“The vast majority of American adults are overweight or obese, and weight is a growing problem

among US children.” Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation. 2013

www.healthdata.org/news-release/vast-majority-american-adults-are-overweight-or-obese-and-

weight-growing-problem-among.

Around 2/3rds of adult and 30 percent of children are obese. This article is written by three

different writers. All three of them are professors and have spent their whole lives doing health

studies. This article gives stats all across the board for obesity. All the stats come from reliable

studies, organizations, and colleges. It does not blame anyone for the problem it just simply gives
the stats to inform how large the obesity problem is. This is a great source with giving multiple

facts. It is an alright fit for my essay that can be used for addressing the obesity problem.

Outline for Is the Food Industry The reason we’re obese?

I. Intro

A. Hook: Inform how often we eat fast food in a week and say how addictive it is.

B. Topic: Is the food industry to blame for our obesity and health epidemic?

C. Thesis: The food industry has a lot to do with them problem. But a lot of it is our

own fault.

II. Body 1
A. Main Idea #1 Too many people are overweight. ”Roughly two-thirds of adults,

nearly 30% of children are overweight or obese” The vast majority. 2013.

1. Sub-point #1 – Statistics and facts from Healthdata.com

a. Evidence – give percentages on certain people

b. Follow up – talk about how many people that is.

2. Sub-point #2 The effects of the obesity problem

a. Evidence Inform what obesity problems leads too “Obesity is linked to

several long term health conditions, premature death and illness including

diabetes, heart disease, stroke, gall bladder disease, fatty liver, arthritis and

joint disorders and some cancers.” Mandal, MD Dr Ananya. “Obesity and

Fast Food.” News-Medical.net, 30 Oct. 2017

b. Follow up – Say how most health problems are tied to obesity

3. Sub-point #3 What foods are tied to obesity?

a. Evidence – Give food stats on fast food and where they eat the most.

b. Follow up – describe how large the problem is

Body 2

B. Main Idea #who’s fault?

1. Sub-point #1 – Article on who is to blame

a. Evidence – evidence from the article that states it is more of our fault.

”94% Of Americans Blame Fat People For Being Obese”. Weller, Chris.

“Obesity In America: 94% Of Americans Blame Fat People For Being

Obese, So Why Is It Still A Problem?” Medical Daily, 23 Jan. 2014,

b. Follow up – explain why it is more our fault.

 2. Sub-point #2 – Is it also part of it the environments we live in?

a. Evidence – Source on how the way of living makes eating out easier

b. Follow up – use an example on how easy it is to eat fast food

3. Sub-point #3 – Is it the governments fault?

a. Evidence – Include the governments health programs

b. Follow up – explain how the government tries to fix the issue and

implement healthy eating.

Body 3

C. Main Idea #3 what do we do?

1. Sub-point #1 – stop eating out

c. Evidence – Inform how often we eat out

d. Follow up – Explain a plan to make more health meals at home every

week

2. Sub-point #2 – stay in shape

c. Evidence- facts on how eating out and no exercise leads to obesity

d. Follow up – Every time you eat out do something active to burn of the

calories

3. Sub-point #3 – Keep up the work and reward yourself

c. Evidence – Eating out everyone in awhile is not a bad deal. So if you eat

at home 6 days, reward yourself with fast-food at the end of the week

d. Follow up – doing so will make you feel more accomplished and healthy

III. Conclusion
 A. Paraphrase Thesis – The food industry is not to blame for obesity. Its most our

faults and bad habits.

B. Summarize Main Points – A ridiculous percentage of Americans are overweight.

Most would like to blame the food industry, but in reality, it is our fault for letting

yourself form bad habits. The solution is to be strict with ourselves and eat meals

at home most days of the week.

Provide Closure/Issue Challenge – I be alive that if the whole country can develop a plan to eat

meals at home we will slowly fix our problems.

 Works Cited

Mandal, MD Dr Ananya. “Obesity and Fast Food.” News-Medical.net, 30 Oct. 2017,

www.news-medical.net/health/Obesity-and-Fast-Food.aspx

Weller, Chris. “Obesity In America: 94% Of Americans Blame Fat People For Being Obese, So

Why Is It Still A Problem?” Medical Daily, 23 Jan. 2014, www.medicaldaily.com/obesity-

america-94-americans-blame-fat-people-being-obese-so-why-it-still-problem-267684.

“The vast majority of American adults are overweight or obese, and weight is a growing

problem among US children.” Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation,

www.healthdata.org/news-release/vast-majority-american-adults-are-overweight-or-obese-and-

weight-growing-problem-among.
Drew DeWitt

Mrs. Davis

Composition 11

February 26, 2017 Commented [d1]: You have the basic set up of an MLA
paper started. Good job! Just take a moment to reread the
MLA guide or view a sample paper for some minor details
Annotated Bibliographies that need to be cleaned up. For example, notice how your
“double space” is larger here than elsewhere? That is
because you need to go to the paragraph tab in the toolbar
Battling Obesity in America - CBS News. above and turn off “extra spaces after paragraphs.” MLA
requires consistent double space throughout the entire
document. The date should be written day month year
www.bing.com/cr?IG=A2F5D680FB0B4AFD8D04EEC4ED993671&CID=0DEA2D14869867A222EC2689873 order without commas. All sources and text should
consistently be in the same font, Times New Roman, 12 pt.
7664F&rd=1&h=72fr0xgmuY92nfgThjo- You can easily fix that by using Ctrl +A to select all and then
change to TNR font 12 pt. All sources need to have a date
and must be cleared off all random marks such as >> and
qccrU2PjIx8r3JDfxBxAA_0&v=1&r=https%3a%2f%2fwww.cbsnews.com%2fnews%2fbattling-obesity-in- contain proper indentations. Here’s a good guide to help
you out:
america%2f&p=DevEx,5067.1. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/24/

Obesity is a 147 Billion dollar medical Burdon every year. 12 million kids are obese. This video Commented [d2]: Is this a proper noun? We don’t need
to capitalize it if it is a general noun.
comes from CBS, a broadcasting news service that is well known and well trusted. The video Commented [d3]: When a number begins a sentence,
typically we write it out.
mostly addresses the problem and gives a few ways on how this can be fixed. Being an older

source “2010” some of the stats are out of date and not true today. However, this source shows Commented [d4]: Instead of quotation marks, this date
should either be incorporated into the sentence or put in
parentheses. Why is the date not mentioned in the
how long we have been addressing the problem. It tends to take the side of blaming ourselves on
citation? We always need one there.

the problem so it is a great fit.

Muntel, Sarah. “Obesity Action Coalition » Fast Food – Is it the Enemy?” Obesity Action Coalition Fast Commented [d5]: Font? Use Times New Roman
throughout your paper. Make sure to indent your citations
Food Is it the Enemy Comments, www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles- properly.

2/nutrition/fast-food-is-it-the-enemy.

In the last 50 years, the amount of fast food restaurants and business has doubled. With that the

amount of calories and the amount of processing the food goes through has gone up as well, causing the
obesity problem we have today. Sarah Muntel is a well known, registered dilatation. She has been in the Commented [d6]: Is this the correct word you want to
use here?
field for 12 years and has conducted many studies and research. Obesity action coalition is a non-profit

origination that studies foods and health and helps with our obesity problems. This publication includes Commented [d7]: Word usage: is this correct?
Commented [d8]: It is best to only use third person in
multiple stats and calorie amounts of foods at the top fast food restaurants. She shows both sides of your paper. Do not use first or second.

who is to blame without picking a side. This is a great source piece that really gets you thinking. This is Commented [d9]: How can you reword this so that it is
not second person (removes the you)?
useful for my paper because she gives great reasons for e to prove that its more of our individual faults Commented [d10]: Word usage? Typo?
Commented [d11]: Word usage? It’s/its confusion
for the obesity problem.

“Obesity and the environment briefing: regulating the growth of fast food outlets.” Obesity and the

environment briefing: regulating the growth of fast food outlets - GOV.UK,

www.gov.uk/government/publications/obesity-and-the-environment-briefing-regulating-the-growth-of-

fast-food-outlets.

Fast food and obesity is also a problem in the UK. However, they are way ahead of us because they are Commented [d12]: Define the first time you use this;
then you can us the abbrev. afterward.
stricter and work harder to limit what the fast food companies can do. This is a UK Govt document. The Commented [d13]: Define who “us” is.
Commented [d14]: Since this is a formal paper, you
publisher is not included. This document primarily focuses on taking fast food restaurants away from the would want to write out the word “government” each time
you write it.
schools, it also gets into saying the obesity problem is more caused by ourselves and our averments. Commented [d15]: Comma splice: we cannot connect
two sentences with a comma only. You may use a comma
Though this is a UK document it proves many points and has reasons for what it says. Since it is a Govt and conjunction like “and” or you can form two separate
sentences. At times a semi-colon can be useful as well.
document It is highly reliable. I think this is a decent source for my essay. It helps prove my point about Commented [d16]: Informal: is there a more academic
way of saying this.
it being our fault but it a UK document, so it would change up the essay. Commented [d17]: Word choice: is this what you want
to say here?
Commented [d18]: Since this is the end of an intro
phrase, we would use a comma here.
Commented [d19]: Here you have the end of an intro
Mandal, MD Dr Ananya. “Obesity and Fast Food.” News-Medical.net, 30 Oct. 2017, www.news- phrase: what punctuation should you use? Then you start
the second part of this sentence without the cap.
medical.net/health/Obesity-and-Fast-Food.aspx. Commented [d20]: Any better word you can think of
here?
Commented [d21]: Word missing?
Obesity has become a problem in most of the world today. Obesity causes multiple health problems on Commented [d22]: Word missing?

of the widest spreading being diabetes. Ananya Mandel is a doctor and is focused mostly on obesity. I Commented [d23]: Word missing?

am not sure on her years of experience, but she seems very knowledgeable. News Media Life Sciences is

a web site that is full of doctors publications on all things health and medical. This piece explains how Commented [d24]: Word confusion: doctors/doctor’s.
Would you want the possessive form here?
the fast food had affected us. She provides information on how it has affected BMI and the childhood

obesity problems. Her points all match up with others and with her being a Doctor it is a trusted source. Commented [d25]: Define who “others” are.

This will fit my essay for providing information on the problems of obesity at the beginning. Commented [d26]: Misplaced phrase. Do you mean at
the beginning of your essay or at the beginning of the
obesity problem? Move this phrase to help clarify your
meaning.

Brody, Jane E. “Risks for Youths Who Eat What They Watch.” The New York Times, The New York Times,

19 Apr. 2010, www.nytimes.com/2010/04/20/health/20brod.html.

Recently, the center for science in the public interest gave a F to 95 of 128 food companies. James E. Commented [d27]: Meaning unclear. Is this a place? If
it’s a proper noun, then it needs to be capitalized.
Brody is he personal health writer for the new York times since 1965. She has spent her whole career Commented [d28]: Since “F” begins with a vowel sound
(eff), we would use “an” here instead of “a.”
writing articles and columns for magazines and newspapers. The New York Times is a well-known news Commented [d29]: Word usage?

source. Her article takes the side of blaming the food industry for the obesity problem. She claims that Commented [d30]: Proper noun?
Commented [d31]: Is it James or Jane? You use two
they make the food addictive so that the companies can make money. This source has many other facts different names in this source.

and stats from other reliable sources. This is one of the best sources for my essay. It Fits my essay by Commented [d32]: Does this need to be capitalized?

giving me a source for the other view. Commented [d33]: Clarify what you mean by “other”
view.
“The vast majority of American adults are overweight or obese, and weight is a growing problem among

US children.” Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, www.healthdata.org/news-release/vast-

majority-american-adults-are-overweight-or-obese-and-weight-growing-problem-among.

Around 2/3rds of adult and 30 percent of children are obese. This article is written by three different Commented [d34]: Check your MLA guide or
grammarbook.com to see how you should write this
writers. All 3 of them are professors and have spent their whole lives doing health studies. This article number.
Commented [d35]: Numbers under ten are written out in
gives stats all across the board for obesity. All the stats come from reliable studies, organizations, and words.
Commented [d36]: Weak verb. Can you think of a better
colleges. It does not blame anyone for the problem it just simply gives the stats to inform how large the one than “doing?”
Commented [d37]: Run-on sentence. How can we
obesity problem is. This is a great source with giving multiple facts. It is an alright fit for my essay that punctuate this correctly?
Commented [d38]: Word choice/incorrect phrasing.
can be used for addressing the obesity problem.
Commented [d39]: Informal: how could you say this in a
more academic way?
 Outline for Is the Food Industry The reason we’re obese?

IV. Intro

D. Hook: Inform how often we eat fast food in a week and say how addictive it is.

E. Topic: Is the food industry to blame for our obesity and health epidemic?

F. Thesis: The food industry has a lot to do with them problem. But a lot of it is our

own fault.

V. Body 1

D. Main Idea #1 Too many people are overweight.

4. Sub-point #1 – Statistics and facts from Healthdata.com

c. Evidence – give percentages on certain people

d. Follow up – talk about how many people that is.

5. Sub-point #2 The effects of the obesity problem

c. Evidence Inform what obesity problems leads too

d. Follow up – Say how most health problems are tied to obesity

6. Sub-point #3 What foods are tied to obesity?

c. Evidence – Give food stats on fast food and where they eat the most.

d. Follow up – describe how large the problem is

Body 2

E. Main Idea #who’s fault?

4. Sub-point #1 – Article on who is to blame

e. Evidence – evidence from the article that states it is more of our fault

f. Follow up – explain why it is more our fault.

5. Sub-point #2 – Is it also part of it the environments we live in?

 e. Evidence – Source on how the way of living makes eating out easier

f. Follow up – use an example on how easy it is to eat fast food

6. Sub-point #3 – Is it the governments fault?

e. Evidence – Include the governments health programs

f. Follow up – explain how the government tries to fix the issue and

implement healthy eating.

Body 3

F. Main Idea #3 what do we do?

4. Sub-point #1 – stop eating out

g. Evidence – Inform how often we eat out

h. Follow up – Explain a plan to make more health meals at home every

week

5. Sub-point #2 – stay in shape

g. Evidence- facts on how eating out and no exercise leads to obesity

h. Follow up – Every time you eat out do something active to burn of the

calories

6. Sub-point #3 – Keep up the work and reward yourself

g. Evidence – Eating out everyone in awhile is not a bad deal. So if you eat

at home 6 days, reward yourself with fast-food at the end of the week

h. Follow up – doing so will make you feel more accomplished and healthy

VI. Conclusion

C. Paraphrase Thesis – The food industry is not to blame for obesity. Its most our

faults and bad habits.

 D. Summarize Main Points – A ridiculous percentage of Americans are overweight.

Most would like to blame the food industry, but in reality, it is our fault for letting

yourself form bad habits. The solution is to be strict with ourselves and eat meals

at home most days of the week.

Provide Closure/Issue Challenge – I be alive that if the whole country can develop a plan to eat

meals at home we will slowly fix our problems.

 Works Cited

Battling Obesity in America - CBS News.

www.bing.com/cr?IG=A2F5D680FB0B4AFD8D04EEC4ED993671&CID=0DEA2D14869867A222EC2689873

7664F&rd=1&h=72fr0xgmuY92nfgThjo-

qccrU2PjIx8r3JDfxBxAA_0&v=1&r=https%3a%2f%2fwww.cbsnews.com%2fnews%2fbattling-obesity-in-

america%2f&p=DevEx,5067.1

Muntel, Sarah. “Obesity Action Coalition » Fast Food – Is it the Enemy?” Obesity Action Coalition Fast

Food Is it the Enemy Comments, www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles-

2/nutrition/fast-food-is-it-the-enemy.

“Obesity and the environment briefing: regulating the growth of fast food outlets.” Obesity and the

environment briefing: regulating the growth of fast food outlets - GOV.UK,

www.gov.uk/government/publications/obesity-and-the-environment-briefing-regulating-the-growth-of-

fast-food-outlets

Mandal, MD Dr Ananya. “Obesity and Fast Food.” News-Medical.net, 30 Oct. 2017, www.news-

medical.net/health/Obesity-and-Fast-Food.aspx

Brody, Jane E. “Risks for Youths Who Eat What They Watch.” The New York Times, The New York Times,

19 Apr. 2010, www.nytimes.com/2010/04/20/health/20brod.html.

“The vast majority of American adults are overweight or obese, and weight is a growing problem among

US children.” Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, www.healthdata.org/news-release/vast-

majority-american-adults-are-overweight-or-obese-and-weight-growing-problem-among.