Ava Marzo

Miss Thomson
AP English Language
31 January 2018
The Rise of Online Infidelity

A single human on average lies 14 times a day, some big, some small but the use of

social media and online sites enable people to easily put up a front that is not truthful at all. To

begin, many of the social media sites that people use every day such as Facebook, Twitter,

Instagram, and Tinder, all require physical descriptions to validate the identity of a person. This

“profile”, while working for the average person on the sites, allows for those wanting to lie about

who they are to be able to achieve it just as easily. It has become common to lie and fake

identities on accounts in hope of one thing: lying, cheating, and being able to get away with it. In

the twenty-first century cheating rates have increased as a result of social media and the use of

online dating sites.

Social media has taken the world by storm. Facebook, Twitter, Linked-in, Snapchat, and

hundreds of other social media apps let billions of people be in contact with each other everyday.

A person is out of the loop if they fail to check a status update or the most recent tweet. Many of

these sites also allow for contact with people they don't know and most of it isn't suspicious,

everyone talks to everyone. The ability to be in contact with any person with just the click of a

button has been a prominent factor in cheating. “Probably, if we hadn't established and

maintained any sort of contact online, the affair would not have started, as we rarely bumped into

each other,” stated one man about his cheating (Borreli). This is the case for many people who

find themselves involved in a cyber affair. They read a profile that intrigues them, see a picture

they cannot help but to click on, match with a person who they knew from high school,
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the list goes on and on. Most who are dissatisfied in their relationship don't have to actively seek

out a person in a bar or at a party. They just have to match with them online, talk to them for a

little, and schedule a time or place to meet. The problem is this, what is a cyber affair? Is it

communicating online and then meeting in person? Strictly talking online but sharing explicit

images or messages? Is it even just communicating with someone to fulfill an emotional need

outside of a relationship? According to therapist Ross Rosenberg, “Cheating is when you are

verbally, emotionally or physically intimate with somebody other than your spouse or

partner.”(“Online Infidelity: Identifying, and Dealing with, Cyber Affairs.”). Therefore, all of

these cases can be classified as cyber affairs. Social media makes this all possible. Years ago, a

“cyber affair” was not even a considerable term. Now today in the twenty-first century it is an

extremely common force that is tearing apart more marriages and relationships than ever before.

Considering half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, and about one-third of

those divorces are caused by online infidelity, social media is largely to blame (“Digital

Divorce”). Overall, the rise of infidelity in the twenty-first century is greatly connected to the

rise in the use of social media.

Continuing, social media apps and the creators themselves are putting apps on the market

and creating sites that are promoting infidelity. Just typing into a search engine “apps to help me

cheat” brings up multiple sites condoning infidelity and descriptions on why they are useful.

Take Stocks for example. It sounds as if a significant other would be checking the stock market,

but instead it is a secret photo vault where a person can store any information they desire. There

are also apps to hide messages. Black SMS converts text messages to image files and requires a

passcode to uncover, making it extremely easy for anyone to send an explicit message that will

never be found (Bracetti). With many of these apps able to be downloaded for free, it allows the
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possibility of cheating on a significant other to be high in people’s minds and completely

accessible. There are also numerous websites that allow married people or those in relationships

to have an affair. Ashley Madison, for example, is a website that targets men who are in a

relationship to talk to other women in a relationship. This site annually receives over 130 million

people (Riley). It is essentially eHarmony, but all the people registered on it are in a relationship

and looking to cheat. Tinder, a dating app commonly used by many to meet others, has over 30%

of its users already married (“Digital Divorce”). These apps and sites would have never existed

20 years ago but now that they do, cheating rates have risen and the connection is obvious.

Social media and websites are condoning cheating and are the cause of the increase of infidelity.

For example, infidelity has increased in younger people because of the earlier presence of

social media and the internet in a child’s life. Infidelity is becoming extremely prevalent among

people under the age of 30 (Graph). In the late 1900’s and early 2000’s while social media was

on a rise, many kids and adults didn't have access to phones or a computer in the way they are

accessible today. Many two year olds today are receiving a tablet or a phone, leading to a sense

of attachment, and as a result it is harder for these kids to be able to communicate verbally as

they are used to talking with a text and an emoji. By the time a child is 8-18 years old they are

spending 7.5 hours a day 7 days a week on technology outside of school (“The Impact of Social

Media Use on Social Skills”). As a result of social media being a heavy influence on the

upcoming generation, there are also new terms and social norms that have resulted from it.

Relationships do not hold as strong of a place anymore and many do not date but simply “sleep

around”. Terms have been created to talk about the new normal. “Talking” is the new in-between

stage of friends and dating, “Friends with benefits” are those people not in a relationship but still

engaging in sexual activity, “Ghosting” is when a person talks to another for a set period of time
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and then out of the blue never contacts them again (Lachmann). The new generations have a

distinctly different way to approach dating and many of these things can be linked to cheating in

relationships. Take “Friends with benefits” for example. A person could be in a committed

relationship and have friends of the opposite gender, which is normal. Now it is very common

for side relationships to occur with so called “friends” and it is not thought about twice. The new

phase of online cheating in the twenty-first century is very secretive. A common theme arising

among the younger generation as well is the idea of “sexting”. It is the act of sending sexually

explicit images or text over either phone messages or through an app with just the click of a

button. A study shows 49% of people have sent a sexually explicit image or text in the past year

and about 70% of those people are in the age group of 18-24 (“Sext too much? If so you’re not

alone”). In conclusion, it shows that the decrease of morals and conforming to social norms on

social media has hit millennials by storm, and exhibits exactly why cheating rates among those

under 30 are so high.

On the other hand, many argue that social media and online sites have not increased

infidelity. They instead promote that it has led to more people being in contact, more

relationships, and more marriages than ever before. Today, more than one-third of all marriages

happen as a result of online dating, and they are lasting longer than those who meet in other ways

besides the internet (“Digital Divorce”). It is a fun and easy way to meet new people and it can

foster a healthy relationship when used in the right context. The issue that arises though, is that

often times social media is misused. While many relationships can foster online easily and prove

to be great, someone already in a relationship can misuse these sites to their own benefit. Social

media will always be destructive because it puts an ounce of doubt into a person’s mind. As soon
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as there is not complete trust and doubt, it opens doors to a whole world of paranoia and

unfortunately, affairs.

In conclusion, social media has been the cause of the rise of infidelity in the twenty-first

century. Social media has taken the twenty-first century by storm, and caught up in that storm is

the debate whether social media is productive to our society, or whether it is really being

destructive. It has allowed humans to revolutionize the economy and access thousands of sources

of information in seconds. In the case of relationships and communication with others though, it

has been destructive. Social media and online sites condone cheating, and it is a serious threat to

the relationships of humans in the future. Social media and online sites are catastrophic to

relationships and infidelity has increased as a result.

Works Cited

Borreli, Lizette. “Online Affairs: High Internet Use May Lead To Risky Behavior, Emotional
Cheating For Couples.” Medical Daily, 5 Oct. 2015, www.medicaldaily.com/online-affairs-high-
internet-use-may-lead-risky-behavior-emotional-cheating-couples-355514.
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Bracetti, Alex. “25 Apps to Help You Cheat On Your Girlfriend.” Complex, Complex, 20 Oct.
2016, www.complex.com/pop-culture/2013/02/25-apps-to-help-you-cheat-on-your-girlfriend/.

“Digital Divorce .” Washington Divorce & Family Lawyer,

www.mckinleyirvin.com/Resources/Digital-Divorce-A-Guide-for-Social-Media-Digital/How-
Social-Media-Affects-Marriage.aspx.

Graph , Martin. What Is Online Infidelity? www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-

digitally/201412/what-is-online-infidelity.

“The Impact of Social Media Use on Social Skills.” New York Behavioral Health,
newyorkbehavioralhealth.com/the-impact-of-social-media-use-on-social-skills.

Lachmann, Suzanne. “What It Really Means to Be 'Friends With Benefits'.” Psychology Today,
Sussex Publishers, 3 Feb. 2015, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/me-we/201502/what-it-really-
means-be-friends-benefits.

“Online Infidelity: Identifying, and Dealing with, Cyber Affairs.” Chicagotribune.com, 14 Jan.
2015, www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-fam-0120-cyber-cheating-20150114-story.html.

Riley, Naomi Schaefer. “The Young and the Restless: Why Infidelity Is Rising Among 20-
Somethings.” The Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones & Company, 28 Nov. 2008,
www.wsj.com/articles/SB122782458360062499.

“Sext Much? If so, You're Not Alone.” Scientific American,

www.scientificamerican.com/article/sext-much-if-so-youre-not-alone/.