Katelin Delzeith

by Katelin Delzeith

Submission date: 12-Mar-2018 09:42PM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 929552830
File name: annotated_bibliography_s-w.docx
Word count: 1025
Character count: 5321
Katelin, You've found solid sources, written accurate citations, and
composed informative summaries--good! The trouble here is that
you needed to follow the prompt's instructions to earn the
maximum points. Try to add specificity to the sentences in which
you state how your team will use the source (e.g., are you citing
data? charts? expert testimony?). Some of your entries do a good
job with this--use them as models. Keep working on revising for
concision.

is to *review the research about . . .*?

Concise

do you mean "morale"?

"morality" is the wrong
word here. com C/S
researchers
ma have?

related to gender?
es Unclear

which contrast? (you haven't

mentioned a contrast)

reread the instructions to

remember this assignment's
guidelines/format. what is CHF? missing words (a verb, in
particular).
 Concise

specify what about the source you'll use (e.g., data? charts?
expert testimony?)

connections to another source?

good specifics
Katelin Delzeith
ORIGINALITY REPORT

4 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
0%
INT ERNET SOURCES
1%
PUBLICAT IONS
4%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to University of Central Oklahoma
St udent Paper 3%
2
Submitted to Pennsylvania State System of
Higher Education
2%
St udent Paper

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On
Katelin Delzeith
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

76
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. Katelin, You've f ound solid sources, written accurate citations, and
composed inf ormative summaries--good! T he trouble here is that you needed to f ollow the
prompt's instructions to earn the maximum points. T ry to add specif icity to the sentences in
which you state how your team will use the source (e.g., are you citing data? charts? expert
testimony?). Some of your entries do a good job with this--use them as models. Keep working
on revising f or concision.

Text Comment. is to *review the research about . . .*?

QM Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

Text Comment. do you mean "morale"? "morality" is the wrong word here.

QM C/S
Comma splice:
A sentence must have both a subject and a main verb in order to be complete, but it cannot
have more than one subject or main verb. A comma splice is a variety of run-on sentence that
occurs when two complete sentences, each with its own subject and verb, are joined mistakenly
by a comma. T here are generally three methods of correcting this problem: 1) Replace the
comma with a stronger mark of punctuation such as a period or semicolon, 2) use a
coordinating conjunction ("and," "but," "or," "nor") to join the two constructions, or 3) make one
of the two sentences a dependent construction by linking it to the other with a subordinating
conjunction ("if ," "when," "so that," "although," "because") or relative pronoun ("that," "which,"
"who," "whom," "whose").

Text Comment. comma

 Text Comment. researchers have?

Text Comment. related to gender?

QM Unclear
Your construction of this sentence clouds your meaning.

Text Comment. es

Text Comment. which contrast? (you haven't mentioned a contrast)

Text Comment. reread the instructions to remember this assignment's guidelines/f ormat.

Text Comment. missing words (a verb, in particular).

Text Comment. what is CHF?

PAGE 2

QM Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

Text Comment. specif y what about the source you'll use (e.g., data? charts? expert
testimony?)

Text Comment. connections to another source?

PAGE 3

Text Comment. good specif ics

PAGE 4

PAGE 5
RUBRIC: 36 3 ANNOT BIBLIO RUBRIC 4

RHET FOCUS Prof icient

Write f or a specif ic audience and purpose.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or your review) isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or your review) may be unclear at times, and it may not be
achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that sources
are appropriate f or your review) may be implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or your review) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HICAL RES Advanced

Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
BASIC marks incorrectly. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source.
Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources or relies exclusively on one
source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Of ten includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction is
necessary and discipline appropriate. Sometimes relies too heavily on a single source
or uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Usually introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
—reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is usually diverse, relevant and persuasive.

ADVANCED Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)—
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is always diverse, relevant and persuasive.

PERSUASION Developing
Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work into
a persuasive argument.

ABSENT OR BELOW Annotations to the working title and purpose are unclear, and their relevance,
BASIC timeliness, balance, and authority may be questionable or unclear. Alternately, the
writer may not have written the required sentences f or each source.

DEVELOPING Annotations are related to the working title and purpose, but their relevance,
timeliness, balance, and authority may be questionable or unclear.

PROFICIENT Annotations usually persuade reader that the listed sources support the working title
and purpose and are relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative.

ADVANCED Annotations persuade reader that the listed sources support the working title and
purpose and are relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative.

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary sentences,
BASIC headings) are missing or unclear. 100-word annotations are incoherent.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary sentences,
headings) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistently or illogically
linked. 100-word annotations may not be coherent.

PROFICIENT Clear, specif ic organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary
sentences, headings) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together. 100-word
annotations are coherent.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary
sentences, headings, etc.) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically
and seamlessly. 100-word annotations f low logically and seamlessly.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Lanuage may ref lect
BASIC a gender or cultural bias. Design may be unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Lanuage may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.
Design may be inconventional or inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional
and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.
Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional and
ef f ective.