Original Introduction
I shall be reviewing a series and mixture of academic journals, studies and books that have
a hand in decision and understanding regarding the moral and ethical dilemma factory farms
specifically the arena of the beef industry faced in our modern United States. Before continuing or
developing any key points, there should be some giving points and forewarning in relation to the
evidence and complications that I am going to set up and lay put through parts of my paper. One
of the first concerning understanding or something to keep in mind is that these studies will not be
presented necessarily of chronological order in terms of the year it was publish but more so on the
bases of the content and time spam being discuss in the work themselves. The reasoning for this
is that much of the research and findings for this topic are somewhat nuanced and scattered
amongst the years by which at one point it could be studies about the harmful effects of the cattle
industry but then the next or following years are historical perspectives and scope of the situation.
So, upon trying to thread differences of publication years together, the content years will be the
goal and aim of the conservation. Second and final concern is that the evidence themselves can
switch from being general to narrow (vice versa). This is largely due to these papers mentioning
other animals and/or other parties that might be influenced by the adverse of industrial farming or
the specific animal I am interesting is in a same study that refers to the overall idea of factory
farms. With all that being said, through the review of the evidence, a majority of the argument and
dissent with the intensive produces of the industrial farms stem from an list of different reason
which in this review will be broken up to three parts: an moral/ethical stance, to what extent is this
justified or right for us to ‘participate’ in such practices; health disparity, questioning of hazard to
be us the consumers and the animal themselves being exposed to certain chemical and pesticides;
and economical, expenses of the cattle farms and the possible trade off if we’re going to switch to
more humane sustainable alternatives. Through the review, there will be two critical sections that
would be necessary to conduct for the topic to be understood thoroughly which the historical
outlook of said topic, how and why did it occur and the conclusive solution, a brief and foreboding
resolute that paves way an idea of what can be done to fix this issue. It becomes apparent and
comprehensible to know why this topic isn’t openly discussed or challenged very heavily since
there are existing implications for having industrial farms. However, by no means does that suggest
there is no need for critiquing because this problem of cattle industry and factory farms should be
addressed to the public and continue to be debate for to reach for possible changes for both
ourselves and the animal involved.
Final Introduction:
I shall be reviewing a collection of literature that offers perspectives regarding the
dilemmas in modern beef industries pre-slaughter procedures and animal welfare of cattle in
factory farms in the United States. These studies will be presented not as a typical chronology,
but as pieced-together narrative, for the sake of readability and a nuanced understanding. The
practices include branding, dehorning and castration of cattle in preparation and raising of these
animals for the slaughter process. The issues arise from the amount of pain and suffering that the
cattle experiences which infracts moral arguments and legislation that enforces for acceptable
humane treatment that would minimize the anguish. To delegate the branches of the beef
industry operations this review will be broken up to three main subject matters: a moral
evaluation, to what extent is this justified or right to make improvements in such practices; health
disparity, investigating the hazardous conditions and damages the cattle endure; and economic
concerns, exploring the financial motive of why factory farms continue to execute these specific
Commented [PLT1]: As the start of my introduction, here
I make the attempt to explicitly state that my paper is going
to be a literature review and somewhat problem definition
topic I am going to be discussing. The problem here was
jumbling too many conjunctions and common word choices
that made the assertion appear as overwhelmed and
stressed unnecessarily long.
Commented [PLT2]: For the latter part of my
introduction, I delve into a small (in concept) spiral about
why the paper wouldn’t be a technical or traditional
literature review of evidence for my topic. The issue here
was that it was taking much of my ought space for other
ideas and was dragging along too much in terms of
explanation.
Commented [PLT3]: Near of the end of my introduction, I
began describing the fundamental layouts of the literature
review by proposing how the discussion will be divided and
what does each section cover. In addition to that, I also
made strife to list out the important pieces of the paper that
would help the audience understand the central idea of the
paper. Issues that arose from this is that it’s over clogging
and burying the main points of the paper and the diction
while academically sound, constitutes possible further
confusion.
Commented [PLT4]: In the final version of the paper, I
reduced and removed unnecessary words and diction that
the paper became structured straightforwardly and concise
that the statement didn’t suffer either in luster or appeal.
Commented [PLT5]: The standalone sentence captured
and explained the idea behind my literature review and
reason for changing it slightly that it has done more potently
in explanation compared to the previous form of itself from
the beginning.
practices. In addition, I will also knead a historical background of examining both the general
start of industrialized farming and the evolution of policies that have administrated against
inhumane methods proceeding in these farms.
Moral Paragraph Original:
Morals or morality has been generally understood and defined as concerned with the
principles of right and wrong behavior or reflectively the goodness or badness of human character
and nature of our actions. For the ethics portion of the discuss, it is referred to as the moral
principles that govern a person's behavior or the conducting of an activity. Moral and ethics go to
hand since the morals, values and beliefs in dissection guide the actual behavior and practices of
our ethics. In the discussion of cattle industry and of factory farms, it raises several red flags and
concerns that jeopardizes and tips the balance and framework of what is morally right and what is
the ethical action to approach this problem. Moral and ethical arguments are sort of an escapable
boundaries by which I mean there’s hardly a way out of it or avoiding even in the cases of a
research analysis or study of this topic. Much of the papers and evidence that will be presented
their own framework of what is morally justifiable and ethically comprehensible when dealing
with this issue. Now, in the review of these evidence there are patterns and existing consistency of
what might be the issue overall, so consensus is possible and valid to be seen.
Moral Paragraph Final:
In the discussion of the beef industry and legislative rules, several red flags are raised that
relate to the torment the cattle are subject to thus creating a moral framework that filters the
problem out and provides reasoning for the critiquing of the current slaughtering and welfare
treaments. John Rossi, an Assistant Professor at Drexel University and Samual A. Garner, Senior
Bioethicist in HJF, in their co-author research, Industrial Farm Animal Production: A
Comprehensive Moral Critique (2014), details an evaluative comprehension of the ‘Industrial
Farm Animal Production’ (IFAP) concept and its position in our society as a debating concern.
Rossi and Garner stated that “cattle are castrated, dehorned or debudded, and sometimes have
their tails docked as well- again almost without anesthesia” (493). The idea behind here is that
the cattle are effectuated with these practices in the absence of any sort of medical pain relievers
or numbness to delude the distress. Moral components charge in against these procedures under
the notion that “IFAP causes tremendous animal suffering, that sentient animals and humans
possess a relevantly similar interest in not suffering…” (Rossi and Garner 501). From this
viewpoint, since cattle would be labeled as sentient, it stipulated that these animals in these
factory farms shouldn’t’ be going through anymore suffering that it would be reasonably
unwarranted for them to receive. This logic would apply to us as humans which is that we would
reject any degree of uncalled for affliction towards our livelihood.
Health paragraph Original:
As stated and discussed in the moral/ethical part of the review, health concern particularly of the
animals are another tension risen farce in terms of the condition the cattle (or animals) in the
industrial farms are living in. These conditions include the confinement and small spaces of
captivity and the feedlots procedure and practices involved with maintain the body size of a
cattle. Once more, in par with those procedure, the cattle are exposed to antibiotics of specific
chemicals to prevent viruses and diseases from infecting the animals. However, in current
reaches, the antibiotics used in animals with put them at great risk for it may cause unforeseen
changes their anatomy or livelihood as a species and the consumption of “chemically farmed”
cattle may prose a threat to our own health and safety. Animal health for cows refers to maintain
Commented [PLT6]: Near the end of the refined
introduction, I made a stronger transitional phrases and
sentences that “globalizes” the overview of how the paper
will be section more precisely and directly that it showed
the significance of what’s going to be talked about.
Commented [PLT7]: For the start of the conversation
piece of the paper, I tried to define the term of morality in
order to clarify the substance and reason for using this idea
and how am I using this in context. But, the problem here is
that it is awkwardly place in the paper by which I mean I
don’t think its needs t be interpret for the purpose of this
paper nor for my topic.
Commented [PLT8]: Here in this sentence towards the
end of the paragraph, I illustrate the point of what the
evidence are going to be pertaining to and function in
service of the paper. Incidentally, rather than generalizing
the reason I am going to use audience, it’s more useful to
actually present the sources and discuss them.
Commented [PLT9]: I complexly removed the paragraph
regarding the definition of morality and ethics and just focus
my attention to the point of discussion about morality in
relation to legislative laws and rules that cause problems. By
doing so, I can be more specific of what is being immoral
and how it does it relate to my topic.
Commented [PLT10]: Nothing much can be said here
except about my earlier notion about the idea of presenting
evidence. Here I am conveying the source itself of who
authored it and summarizing the main goal behind it then
relaying it back to my topic itself.
Commented [PLT11]: Granted for this assertion, it made
the attempt to connect the previous ideas with its own
however, the discussion are meant to be independent from
each other with some implied foreboding of how it relates
to the other concepts.
Commented [PLT12]: Here the idea and specifics of what
might be health concern isn’t too bad however, the
following of it pivots away from animal rights and the
statement itself doesn’t really seem to be more precise of
what the practices might be that is harmful to the cattle
themselves.
a free-range or reasonable species cage that allows for free movement and the subsequent
changing from an industrial farm to a sustainable one. I will be looking at detailed and
meticulous evidence that undergo research of the cattle health welfare and condition of the
industrial farms.
Health Paragraph Final:
In this section of the literature review, health concern is the focus and aim by exploring the
internal and external pains caused by the cattle practices as well the conditions the cattle (or
animals) in the industrial farms are living in. These conditions include the confinement and small Commented [PLT13]: In this version of the final paper,
spaces of captivity and the slaughtering procedure and practices involved with maintaining the the topic of health concern is more discussed thoroughly
and doesn’t mention any other points aside from its own
cattle’s behavior and growth in the farms. The academic studies that will be included with
general overview of what’s going to be discussed and how it
examine the indicators and postures that the cattle exhibit signaling the possible awareness of develops.
being in harm and unbearable pain
Commented [PLT14]: The following sentence
accomplishes much more by structuring what health
concerns am I referring to as well as the cause of them. In
addition, there is a greater degree of stress being
emphasized here about the practices themselves and how
they affect the cattle.