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Section III

Emotional Stability

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 Chapter VI

Emotional Intelligence

“Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost

all you have, get understanding.”
(Proverbs 4:7 NIV)

EI?

Ibelieve that if you want to be greater than you

are then you have to be a reader. Read on whatever topic
interests you, but just continue learning. When I had my
graphic design business, I made it a point to read on the
topic of leadership. I wanted to be the best business owner I
could be, so I did research on the top entrepreneurs.

I wanted to read what they read so I purchased all

the books I could find that would help me on my journey.
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The one book that stood out to me was a book on Emotional
Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. This book intrigued me
because I didn’t know that there was a science dedicated
to the emotional mind. I wanted to include this chapter
in the book because I wanted you to become exposed
to this science and began to take a deeper look at your
own emotional health and your character. I’m sure your
wondering, what is Emotional Intelligence or EI?

Emotional Intelligence (EI)

Emotional intelligence is the innate potential to feel, use,
communicate, recognize, remember, describe, identify, learn
from, manage, understand and explain emotions.
(www.eqi.org)

Emotional habits can be passed on through the genes

of the parent. They are then nurtured and formed initially by
the hands of the parent. By the age of six, you will already
have in place some emotional and behavioral patterns. As
you move through adolescence those patterns begin to shift
slightly as you begin to experience and understand new
emotions like empathy. Empathy is the ability to identify
and experience the thoughts, feelings or attitudes of another
person. By the time you are an adult, your emotional life is
solidified.

Your experiences, the experiences of others, the way

you perceive them, your decisions and it’s consequences
shape your Emotional life. Your EI can be improved
and be corrected through effort and prayer. The problem
is that most people don’t care to understand or analyze
their behavior in order to correct what really needs to be
corrected. You can go from one experience to the next
having the same outcome and not understand why. You may
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even get stuck in the ideal of “this is who I am” instead of
embracing the newness of tomorrow.

What does poor EI affect?

Poor Emotional Intelligence affects every area of

your life. It affects:

• How you maneuver within relationships with people

• How successful you are on your job
• Your health and physical fitness
• Your dreams and goals

People with poor emotional intelligence cannot see

past their own needs. They don’t see the needs of others and
they allow themselves to be led by their emotions. In the
book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman says, “people
with well-developed emotional skills are also more likely to
be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits
of the mind that foster their own productivity; people who
cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight
battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear
thought.”

Here is an example of Poor EI effecting your career:

James just got hired to be the Production

Manager for a printing company. He has a
Bachelors degree in Business Management, he is
smart, physically fit and performed very well on
the training exams.

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 Four months into the job, James was failing
miserably and was on the verge of being fired.
What was the issue? His emotional intelligence
did not fit the position. He could not handle
problems as they arose, he was frequently late,
indecisive and too tolerant. As a result, jobs
weren’t getting printed on time and customer
satisfaction dropped.

Balance is key

Humans are born with an emotional mind and a

rational mind. Anatomically speaking the emotional mind
was developed to help us survive. Back in the early days
of human existence we needed the emotional mind in order
to make quick decisions. We had to think fast and assess
whether something was good for food or if it was something
that could potentially eat us.

The rational mind reacts slower than the emotional

mind. At that time in history the rational mind would have
put us in grave danger. We have evolved into a society
where the proper balance of the emotional mind and rational
mind is the key to our success. The emotional mind is very
useful in our decision making process, but it cannot be the
only mind used in the decision making process.

Sometimes the rational mind will assess a

situation, but what is needed is the emotional mind to step
in and make the final call. If a car is driving down the
street and your child is crossing the street undetected, your
emotional mind may take over quickly in order to save your
child. This is an example of the emotional mind needing the
final say in a situation. Balance is key.
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Learn to manage your emotions and also allow your heart to
have the final say from time to time. The key is to assess the
situation and then channel your emotions accordingly.

What does this have to do with the “process”

Learning to manage your emotions and understand

the emotions in other people will help you to have
successful relationships and will help you with your
relationship with God. In the next chapter we will discuss
emotional stability which is the key ingredient of faith.

To rest in Him is to have your emotions under

control which will help you trust God. This chapter
was written to shed some light on the emotional life and
hopefully offer some clarity on some situations in your life.
Research Emotional Intelligence in your spare time and
really began to analyze your actions. You will be surprised
at what you will discover about your emotional health. In
the next section of the book I will discuss the Refiner’s fire.
This season of agitation will definitely stir up your emotions.

Correction

It is never too late to correct poor Emotional

Intelligence. The great thing about being a child of God is
that we can come to Him and receive his forgiveness and
healing. We know that restoration will occur if we call
upon His heavenly name. You may even have high EI, but
struggle in a couple of areas. He is faithful to restore you in
that as well. Let us now usher the Lord into our situation to
correct.

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 Prayer

Mighty God, Wonderful Counselor. Thank you for being

my restoration and present help. This information definitely
hit home and I am in need of Emotional correcting. Help
me oh God to be emotionally intelligent. Help me to
manage my emotions so that I can make great decisions
with my life. Restore self inflicted wounds due to my poor
decisions. I thank you in advance for all that you are going
to do. I praise you, magnify you and ask these blessings in
Jesus name I pray. Amen!

Reflections:
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