Fuentes1

Fuentes, Andrew

English 101

Professor Batty

29 May 2018

Ethnographic Revision Reflection

The ethnographic essay was by far my favorite essay of the semester with also being my

highest earned grade. I felt this was my favorite essay due to being able to explore around Los

Angeles and giving my opinion on what it means to me. But I needed to make some

improvements towards the essay because it could still be better. The couple of changes I decided

to make was changing the paragraph on the movie “LaLa Land” and fixing my grammar

mistakes to give my essay a better flow.

The essay on “LaLa Land” I felt it needed to have more reason and a different argument.

When original discussing how cannabis defined the city of Los Angeles on that paragraph I was

talking about violence instead of cannabis. So I then switched the topic on violence back to my

original argument so I wouldn’t throw the reader off. I then gave more information about how

the movie gave a bad representation to the people outside the city because the movie gives a

false picture. In Los Angeles most people are cold hearted and donut care about other but

themselves. So I included the closest way you will the vision of the movie of “LaLa Land” is by

going to cannabis dispensary shops. The reason is because a good majority of individuals in the

environment vibe changes due to the happiness being felt.

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I felt the grammar corrections I made gave my essay a better understand. Fixing my

errors made me think of new was to express my sentences and want to look for more information

to provide for the reader. So I then looked up some articles to help backup my arguments. The

grammar I felt hurt my grade a lot because that is something you need to always be aware of.

Also making the essay look very unprofessional and sloppy giving the reader no reason to read

the essay.

In conclusion I feel the ethnographic essay because it was my highest graded essay. I did

not think I needed to make to many changes because I did not want to take out too much

information. By fixing the grammar mistakes that made essay a little non fluent I felt will help

the reader understand what my opinion is. Also giving a better argument towards the film “LaLa

Land” on why it was a very bad visual representation on Los Angeles.