2009/1 FCM Newsletter Jan – Mar 2009

Special Wedding Feature

FCM ALUMNI
WEDDING BELLS
Herbert & Zuyi
David & Cindy
Benson & Felicia

vague, nebulous, existential, and non definable

terms. “It’s something that happens to you,”
people say, “not something that you can
THINKING define.”
BIBLICALLY This emotional, feeling-oriented, brand
ABOUT of “love” is promoted not only in music and
literature, but by the popular media culture.
Television promotes the “love as
romance/passion” model so relentlessly, that
BY MICHAEL L GOWENS
even many Christians are confused about this
important subject. In fact, Hollywood has so
E veryone is a philosopher when it
comes to love. Definitions are “a dime
successfully infiltrated the Church with its
view of romantic love, that the person who
a dozen.” Love is, says one person, a many,
questions it or attempts to suggest an
splendid thing. Another sings, “love is a rose,”
alternative position is suspect as an unrealistic,
fragrant and beautiful, but thorny and painful,
unfeeling odd-ball, if he is even understood. I
and another suggests that “love means never
am aware of that risk as I write. As I proceed
having to say you’re sorry.” Shakespeare
to expose the unbiblical notions people have
wrote in Merchant of Venice, “love is blind.”
concerning “love,” and attempt to
Gilbert said, “it’s love that makes the world
reprogramme the reader’s mind to think about
go round,” and Tennyson suggested that it is
this subject Scripturally, I expect someone will
“better to have loved and lost than never to
begin to feel sorry for my wife, or say, “I’m
have loved at all.” I am convinced, however,
sure glad I’m not married to you.” But I
that most people, if forced to define “love,”
proceed, because of a deep conviction that
could do no better than Thomas Middleton:
misunderstanding about love is at the heart of
“Love indeed is anything, yet indeed is
most relational problems.
nothing.” The modern mind thinks of love in

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Old Wives’ Fables
Misconceptions about love are
commonplace, even among professed Bible
believers. The need for clear-headed, Biblical
thinking about love in this day of
disintegrating families, pandemic divorce, and
domestic redefinition cannot be exaggerated.
Let’s highlight some of the most popular
myths and “old wives’ fables” regarding love.
Fable #1: Love is something one
“falls into,” something out of one’s
control, something that cannot be helped.
Most people, like poor Woody Allen, are
miserable because they look for love in all the
wrong places. Like the impotent man by the
pool of Bethesda, they spend their days
“waiting for the moving of the water,” waiting for
something to happen to them magically and
suddenly, waiting for their “ship to come in,”
oblivious to the fact that the only One who
can truly transform a life stands in their midst,
ready to bless those who will trust and obey
Him (John 5). Like the impotent man, most
people think of love magically, as something
that happens to them, over which they have
no control. For example, a man “falls in love”
with a woman. It is “love at first sight.” Five
years later, he decides that he doesn’t love her
anymore, and in fact, wonders if he ever
“truly” loved her at all. So, he leaves,
justifying his actions by the “I-can’t-help-
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how-I-feel” excuse. Society agrees that he is
right to leave since he no longer feels anything
for her, and even commends his bold step as
an act of self-honesty: “If he is telling the
truth for the first time, then he’s to be
commended for stepping forth and living a lie
no longer. Life is too short to spend it with
someone you don’t love. His wife must realize
that you can’t make another person love you.”
According to the secular mentality, this
husband would be a hypocrite if he stayed
with his wife. Better to be honest with oneself,
it rationalizes, than to live in hypocrisy.
It sounds logical, doesn’t it? I mean, if
he doesn’t love her anymore, what else can he
do? Right? Wrong! Contrary to the popular
definition, hypocrisy is not action contrary to
one’s feelings (i.e. feeling one way but doing
another) but action contrary to one’s
profession (i.e. saying one thing but doing
another). “If we say we that we have fellowship with
him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the
truth” says John (1 John 1:6). “He that saith, I
know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a
liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:4).
Hypocrisy is the failure to practise what you
preach, not the denial of some inner emotion.
When Jesus called the Pharisees “hypocrites,”
was He saying that they were not being honest
with themselves? Did He accuse them of
living contrary to their feelings? No, He
accused them of giving lip service to the Law
of God while refusing to practice its tenets.
Society conditions us to think of
feelings as the ultimate guide to behaviour. “It
can’t be wrong when it feels so right,” a song
popularized in the 1970’s suggested.
Somehow, we have come to believe that
emotions are indicators of reality and to
contradict them is tantamount to hypocrisy.
Someone says, “I would have been at church
yesterday, but I didn’t feel very spiritual and I
didn’t want to be a hypocrite.” May I suggest
that the person who has “named the name of
Christ” in public profession acts hypocritically
by staying home, not by contradicting his
emotions, because his action is inconsistent
with the profession he made to follow Jesus
Christ. The prevalent idea that a behaviour
orientation (i.e. doing right because it is right)
toward life is sub-spiritual and that only a
feeling orientation (i.e. doing right only if you
feel like it) is pleasing to God is unbiblical.
Undoubtedly, because this husband
had promised, before God, to love his wife
until death, his hypocrisy was in the act of
deserting his wife, not in staying with her and
fulfilling his marriage vows. The world says,
“at least he was honest.” God’s Word says,
“he was supremely dishonest, for he broke the
vow he had made before God.”
Have you ever thought about such a
familiar scenario as I’ve described from this
Biblical perspective? I’m convinced many
people have not. In fact, many Christians
would be surprised to know that the Bible
says nothing about a kind of love one “falls
into.”
Fable #2 - Romantic love is the
basis for marriage. Without question, most
people believe that it is wrong to get married
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when romantic love is absent. In Biblical
times, however, marriages were frequently
arranged by parents. On many occasions, a
husband never laid eyes on his wife until he
removed the veil on the wedding day.
Granted, such practices are difficult for
people in a culture like ours to conceive. I am
personally grateful that I had a choice in the
selection of a life partner; nevertheless, the
pre-arranged relationships of eastern cultures
were just as viable, if not more, than modern
marriages in the west.
It may surprise the reader to know that
people actually once covenanted in marriage
though they were not romantically involved
and proceeded to develop a fulfilling, durable,
and enjoyable relationship. How did they do it?
They learned to love one another. Learned
to love? Yes, learned to love. This does not
sound nearly so foreign when one remembers
the structure of the traditional wedding
ceremony. During the ceremony, the minister
does not attempt to discern whether the
couple loves one another. He asks each to
promise and to vow to love the other. He
does not ask, “Do you really feel love, true
love, for each other?” He insists that they
consider love as an obligation of marriage:
“Will you promise to love... until death do you
part?”
 Promise to love? You may wonder,
“How can someone ‘learn’ to have a feeling?
How can someone promise to feel a certain
way until death?” That’s exactly the point: he
can’t. Emotions are by their very nature
unsteady, inconsistent, and ambivalent. They
vacillate with the ebb and flow of
circumstances. But love, according to God’s
definition, is not primarily a feeling, but
an action. Biblical love is not the victim of
one’s emotions, but the servant of one’s will.
Marriages are predicated, consequently, on
each partner’s pledge to commit themselves
to act toward the other in a certain way, the
way God’s Word calls “love.” Even if the
warm fuzzes of romance are absent; even
when the novelty of the relationship has
lapsed into the familiar; even when the initial
emotional intensity has levelled off, a couple
can still cultivate a loving, satisfying, and
God-honouring relationship that is based on
a mutual commitment to the other’s
welfare and obedience to the Word of God.
In fact, that is the marital ideal, according to
the Bible.
Fable #3 - Loving oneself is basic
and fundamental to a happy, stable life. It
was once generally accepted that man’s
greatest problem was pride, an inordinate self-
interest. Now society tells us that man’s
greatest problem is that he thinks, not too
highly of himself but too lowly. He has “low
self-esteem.” Virtually every vice, from
disruptive behaviour to murder, is interpreted
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as an expression of low self-esteem.
Interpreting human behaviour through the
philosophical grid of “victimism,”
psychotherapists suggest that the perpetrator
cannot really be blamed for his conduct. He is
merely reacting to circumstances that
displease him because he has no inner sense
of significance and personal worth. What he
needs, they say, before he can function
properly in a social context, is a new
appreciation for his own uniqueness, a new
sense of his own importance and dignity.
Once he has developed this “love of self,” we
are told he will have the motivation to resist
drugs, make good grades, and overcome the
feelings of despair that come with life’s
inevitable disappointments.
Pop singer Whitney Houston
promotes the gospel of self-love in a
contemporary song:
I believe that children are our future;
Teach them well, and let them learn the way;
Teach them all the beauty they possess inside;
Give them a sense of pride...
The message is subtly packaged in a
beautiful musical arrangement, accented by
Houston’s captivating voice. She continues:
I determined long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadow,
If I fail, if I succeed, at least I’ll live and die, believing,
No matter what they take from me,
They can’t take away my dignity;
Because the greatest love of all, is happening to me;
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
Is “the gospel according to Whitney”
consistent with the gospel according to Jesus?
What did Jesus say was “the greatest love of
all?” Learning to love yourself? Absolutely not!
According to the Lord Jesus Christ, “Greater
love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his
life for his friends” (John 15:13). The Lord self-awareness, however, so that fallen man
interprets love in terms of self-sacrifice, or if tends to idolize and deify the self devoting his
you please, unselfishness, not self- every energy and affection to the service of
centeredness and self-concern. the self. “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh”
argues Paul (Ephesians 5:29). If a man has a
Far from producing happiness and
headache, he takes an aspirin, because he
stability, self-love breeds heartache and
loves himself too much to allow his body to
confusion. Marriages disintegrate, not thrive,
hurt. If he is fatigued, he rests, because he
when selfishness prevails. The moment each
loves himself too much to allow himself to be
partner begins to prioritize self before the
uncomfortable. On the basis of this principle,
other, the relationship is destined to fail. What
Paul argues that men should love their wives
would happen to a family of five if every
like they love their own bodies. In other
member adopted a self-absorbed mentality? If
words, a man should take the same pains to
each lived for himself and not for the other,
relieve his wife’s burdens and promote her
what would become of the family? Sadly, the
welfare that he takes for his own body. His
answer to that question is all too apparent in
primary interest should be her well being, not
the demise of the home in western culture.
his own comfort. That is real love-selfless,
“I’m not getting what I want out of sacrificial behaviour that “esteem other better than
this relationship,” one mate says to another. themselves” (Philippians 2:3). This kind of love
“I don’t think I love you anymore.” I suggest must be “learned” and developed, for it
that this person has not even started to doesn’t come naturally. But in a fallen world,
understand the meaning of love. In fact, I it is the only kind of love that will produce the
maintain that many people who say “I love happiness that comes from a stable
you” are really saying, in the words of the relationship.
automobile commercial, “I love what you do
for me.” Self-love is not missing; love is. I
don’t think I love you anymore means “You
don’t do for me what you once did and I love
myself too much to stay here any longer.”
Self-love, expressing itself in self-protection,
self-defensiveness, self-assertiveness, and self-
righteousness destroys relationships. It
doesn’t build them. Christianity, on the other
hand, expressing itself in self-denial, self- Three Kinds of Love
humbling, self-forgetfulness, and self-sacrifice
provides a rock-solid foundation for a What then is the Biblical view of love?
marriage that sings. It is expressed by the Greek word agape.
Interestingly, agape was virtually a Christian
People do not have to “learn” to love invention. Prior to the New Testament, agape
themselves. Because man was created in the was used rarely in Greek literature. The New
image of God, he is a self-conscious creature. Testament elevates agape to prominence as the
Sin has perverted and distorted this natural single concept that best expresses the

5
meaning of love. Agape is the God-kind of
love. It is a brand of love that is virtually
unknown to modern man. Instead, people
think of love in terms of two other Greek
nouns, eros, passionate or romantic love, and
phileo, friendship or brotherly love.
(1) Eros - Romantic Love: When
most people think of “love,” they think in
terms of eros (from which we derive the
English “erotic”). Kittle’s Theological
Dictionary of the New Testament says
concerning the Grecian concept of eros: “This
is the passionate love that desires the other for itself.
The god Eros compels all but is compelled by none...
eros masters us and confers supreme bliss thereby... the
original idea is that of erotic intoxication.” (p7)
This passionate, self-centred,
uncontrollable, intoxicating “love” is
promoted by virtually every sector of our
society. Romance novels, motion pictures,
floral companies, and record labels feed on
the public appetite for eros.
Does such a thing as eros, that is,
romance, really exist? Why, certainly. But it is
not synonymous with Biblical love. In fact,
eros is love in its crudest and lowest form. The
high and noble concept of Biblical love is
something entirely different. Yet when most
people “look for love,” claim to be “in love,”
or express love to someone else, they are
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thinking in terms of eros. To them, romance is
life’s supreme glory and matrimony’s supreme
achievement. When a couple possesses eros,
they believe that they have finally secured that
rarest of all gems, the priceless jewel of
“love.” They have “arrived.”
They fail to realize, however, that this
romantic attraction is, first of all, not very rare,
and secondly, only the beginning, not the
point of arrival, of a godly relationship. Eros is
the kindergarten of love. It is the phase in a
relationship when two people are attracted to
one another, physically, emotionally, and/or
intellectually with a magnetic fascination. It is
the same kind of natural attraction that
motivates a female bird to select one mate
above several rivals, each vying for her
attention. That is not to say that eros is strictly
a form of animal passion, for, in contrast to
animals, people may very well experience an
attraction at the intellectual and emotional
levels, as I mentioned previously. But, like the
bird, different people have different personal
preferences and what appears attractive to one
person may not appeal to another.
This attraction manifests itself by an
unusual preoccupation with another person.
When separated, the heart longs for his
company. When together, the stomach
flutters, the palms become clammy, and the
couple becomes oblivious to everything
around them. This is the kind of experience
that makes young people “cow eye” and
makes old people “feel young again.”
I don’t deny that such a phenomena as
eros exists. Further, I concede that most
relationships begin at this level. But this is not
love––not Biblical love, at least.
Because so many people mistake
romance for love, it is no wonder that married
people “fall out of love” as quickly as they
“fell into” it. Once the novelty and the sense
of mystery is gone; once the initial excitement
has been replaced by the routine of daily
responsibilities; once one knows the other
person through and through; once one
becomes utterly familiar with the faults,
foibles, and idiosyncrasies of one’s partner,
those mellow, dreamy feelings can all too
easily slip away.
romance is frequently exalted as the marital
ideal. Christian books on marriage often
emphasize the “love as romance” model,
suggesting that “the honeymoon doesn’t have
to end.” Is this a legitimate emphasis? Perhaps.
But the point is that romance is not, in and of
itself, the essential ingredient of a marriage
that glorifies God and brings fulfilment to
each respective partner-love is.

Neither is it a wonder when one

partner suddenly announces that he has
“fallen in love” with someone else and, in fact,
has not been “in love” with his spouse for
years. “How can these things happen?”
someone asks. Why do people “lose that
loving feeling?” Because they mistake eros for
love. The individual who convinces himself
that “love” lost in one relationship can be
recaptured in an adulterous relationship will
eventually leave that relationship for yet
another, and that for another, for he is living
by his feelings, and the intensity of romance
inevitably wanes as the sense of mystery fades
into the realm of the utterly familiar. (2) Phileo - Friendship Love:
Recognizing society’s misdirected emphasis
Just because someone may seem
on eros, some married couples have aspired to
interesting, fascinating, or attractive to you
a higher level in their relationship and have
does not mean that you are “in love” with
redefined the marital ideal in terms of
him. In fact, everyone will periodically come
“enjoying the other’s company.” “My
into contact with others who possess
husband is my best friend,” says one wife.
characteristics that intrigue and attract
“We just enjoy being together. We can talk to
attention. The individual who loves his/her
each other about anything and everything.
spouse Biblically, however, will recognize this
Not only do we love, we also like each other.”
magnetism for what it is, an untrustworthy,
temporary, and potentially destructive The Greek word phileo, translated “love” in
emotion, and will permit it no entrance into the New Testament, conveys the thought of
his thoughts. friendship love. English words Philanthropy
(love of mankind), philosophy (love of
Sadly, most people make the discovery
wisdom), and philharmonic (love of harmony)
and perpetuation of eros the goal of their
are compounds of phileo, as is the proper
relationship. Even in Christian circles,
name Philadelphia (brotherly love). The word

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means “to treat somebody as one’s own is the key word here, not mere geographic
relative” and is used in common Greek for togetherness (though physical presence is
love between spouses, between parents and important), but a sharing of the blessings and
children, between employers and employees, burdens, laughter and tears, hopes and
and between friends. disappointments, of every day experience as a
team and a unit. In the harried pace of daily
Phileo conveys the idea of a common
life-in the mad rush to fulfil family
interest. Like eros, it is a concept that involves
responsibilities, husbands and wives who do
the feelings. The word carries various
not take time to maintain and improve
emotional nuances, including “to be content
interpersonal contact between themselves will
with,” “to have warm affection for,” and “to
soon discover a distance between them that
like or value.” Unlike the Greek term eros,
seems impossible to bridge. Such a
which never appears in Scripture, phileo
relationship is not consistent with the Biblical
appears some thirty times in the New
mandate to “cleave” to one another in a
Testament.
covenant of companionship.
Is the friendship kind of love
Perhaps a wife who feels neglected or
important in a relationship? Yes. In fact, God
a husband who feels overlooked is reading my
gave marriage, first and foremost, to satisfy
words. You can say a hearty “Amen” to the
man’s need for companionship: “It is not good
previous two paragraphs. This is the message
that the man should be alone; I will make him an
you have been trying to get across to your
help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). Togetherness,
mate over the past few months. You are dying
consequently, is essential to a godly marriage:
for his/her attention. You feel unloved
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and
because your mate seems to have no time for
mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two
you. Your marriage lacks, not passion, but
shall be one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). The “one-
friendship. This is, in your mind, your greatest
flesh” nature of the marital relationship makes
desire in marriage. If you could just
the cultivation of a friendship between
experience this kind of friendship with your
husband and wife a priority.
spouse, a real relationship, not a mere
It is imperative, therefore, that couples coexistence, then you would have found “true
take time to communicate, spend time love.”
together, make eye contact, and be attentive
Well, as important as phileo is in a
to each other. By nothing more than mere
marriage, it is still not the essence of Biblical
negligence, many people lose that person-to-
love. It is not the ideal. It is not God’s goal
person contact that is so necessary to
for us. May I make a startling statement?
maintain a viable marriage. He becomes
Even in relationships devoid of romance and
preoccupied with work, cutting the grass,
friendship, a couple may still learn to love. In
servicing the car, and paying the bills, and she
other words, a successful marriage is not
tends to throw all of her energies into cooking
ultimately dependent on either eros or phileo.
the meals and taking care of the children, until
Even if you and your mate have long since
they one day awaken to the fact that they are
lost the intensity of romantic passion, and
virtual strangers to each other. Togetherness
even if you scarcely know one another

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anymore, you can still cultivate a loving
relationship through the practice of agape. A
marriage without eros and phileo is not destined
to fail, but a marriage without agape is.
(3) Agape - Sacrificial Love: I’m
convinced that most people do not think
about love Biblically. What we mean when we
talk about “love” and what God means when
He talks about “love” are two different things.
In fact, the eros and phileo concepts are so
deeply ingrained into our intellectual grid of
life that agape may be, upon first glance,
somewhat repugnant to us. After all, it sounds
so “unromantic.” “It is so contrary to what
I’ve always thought,” someone says. But agape
is the word the Holy Spirit employs (and in
fact, virtually coins) to define “love” over two
hundred fifty times in the New Testament.
What is this foreign kind of love
known as agape? It is the kind of love that
God has for His elect. God does not love His
people because He is attracted to them, for
there is nothing attractive in them. God
determined to love them in spite of their sin:
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that,
while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
(Romans 5:8). God’s love is an act of the will,
not of the emotions. It is something He
decides to do, not something He passively
feels.
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Further, he expressed his love by
voluntarily giving His own Son to die for
those whom He had purposed to redeem.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only
begotten son...” (John 3:16). He covenanted,
unilaterally, to do everything necessary for
their salvation. God the Son committed
himself to bear their iniquities and to suffer
the wrath of God in their stead. Voluntarily,
He divested Himself of His divine
prerogatives, subjecting Himself to death,
even the ignominious death of the cross. John
writes, “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because
he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down
our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16).
Love, the God-kind of love, is defined
by the cross. There we learn that agape
involves a commitment to the welfare of
another without any consideration of
worthiness in the loved one. Agape is a love
that gives to others, not that desires for
oneself. It is self-sacrifice with an aim to make
the loved one great. In a word, agape is
selflessness.
The key words in the definition are
“commitment,” “others,” “giving,” and “self-
sacrifice.” In simple terms, love is a way of
behaving toward another person, not a
nebulous, mystical emotion.
In Scripture, love is a command. We
are commanded to love God and love our
neighbour (Matthew 22:37). Jesus said, “A new
commandment I give unto you, That ye love one
another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one
another” (John 13:34). Paul said, “Husbands, love
your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and
gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25). Note he
does not say, “Husbands, feel affectionate arid
romantic toward your wives.” No, feelings cannot
be commanded, but love can, for love is an
act of the will, something that one makes up someone else, he does not love that other
his mind to do and then he does it. Paul’s person.
words, written in the imperative mood,
The profile of love in 1 Corinthians 13
express a command that husbands are obliged
can be summarized in four categories:
to obey. Husbands are under an obligation to
sacrifice their own comforts and “needs” for
the benefit of their wives, in the same way
that the Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself
for the church. Likewise, Jesus issues the
imperative, “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44).
Does Jesus want us to drum up pleasant
emotions for those who have abused us?
Obviously not. He commands us to love them
by choosing to show them favour and
goodwill.

The Profile of Agape

In specific terms, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
profiles the characteristics of Biblical love:
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth
not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth
not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not
easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in
iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things,
believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things.”
Did you notice that Paul does not
describe what love is, but what love does? He
does not use adjectives to describe love. He
does not say “Love is beautiful” or “Love is
wonderful.” Instead, he uses verbs, words of
action, to describe love: “Love is patient and
kind; love is not jealous, self-promoting,
proud, rude, selfish, angry or suspicious....” If
you really love someone else, says Paul,
you will treat them with patience,
kindness, and unselfishness. Do you realize
what that means? That means that when one
is impatient, unkind, jealous, and rude to
(1) Love’s Heart (vs 4a,5c) - The
person who loves another behaves in
kindness, patience, and tenderness. Every
action is born from a sincere desire for the
happiness of the loved one. Love does not
have a short fuse (“is not easily provoked”)
but is “slow to wrath,” suffering long with the
faults and imperfections of the loved one.
Love is the act of showing patience, not
irritability, when others falter, and kindness,
which is the proof of patience. Love doesn’t
nitpick at petty annoyances.
Do you love your mate? Let me
rephrase the question. Do you respond to
your spouse’s little quirks and annoyances in
patience and kindness? If not, start now, for
God commands you to love.
(2) Love’s Attitude (vs 4b-5b) - Love
displays itself by a commitment to unselfish
living. Notice the emphasis on “self” in verses
four and five: “Charity envieth not [i.e. is not

10
self-protecting]; charity vaunteth not itself [i.e.
is not self-promoting], is not puffed up [i.e. is
not self-inflated], doth not behave itself
unseemly [i.e. is not self-glorifying], seeketh
not her own [i.e. is not self-seeking].” Simply
put, love is not selfish.
Analyze the next argument you have
with your spouse. How many times did each
of you use the word “I”? Nine times out of
ten, selfishness is at the root of marital
conflict. Pride, self-interest, and egotism are
the antitheses of love. Love is never rude or
jealous. It esteems the other more important
than itself. Do you love your spouse? Let me
rephrase the question. Are you denying
yourself for your partner’s benefit? If not,
then start now, for God commands you to
love.
(3) Love’s Judgment (vs 5d-6) -
These two expressions, i.e. love thinketh no
evil and love rejoiceth not in iniquity but in
the truth, express what might be termed “the
judgment of charity.” Love involves giving
another the benefit of the doubt and
assuming the best possible motives, not
the worst. Love does not keep a record of
past offenses. It “thinketh no evil.” Its
judgment therefore is not coloured by
resentment. It does not take into account past
wrongs.
How many married partners have so
allowed past hurts to fill their hearts with
resentment that they automatically assume the
worst motive when the other speaks. Instead
of listening to what is said, they become very
artful at “reading between the lines.” They
constantly ask each other, “What did you
mean by that statement?” if the other replies,
“I meant nothing more than what I said,” they
react, “Sure, I know what you were really
11
saying.” They are more inclined to believe the
worst than to believe the truth. Conversation
filled with innuendo is a destructive habit for
couples to develop. But so is the attitude that
insists on reading the worst motives into the
things that one's partner says and does. It is,
in fact, very unloving.
Do you love your spouse? Let me
rephrase the question. Do you automatically
give him/her the benefit of the doubt and
assume the best of motives? If not, then start
now, for God commands you to love.
(4) Love’s Tenacity (vs 7-8a) - The
final five statements suggest that love does
not cease. Like the rabbit on the battery
commercial, it keeps on going, and going, and
going. In other words, it is impossible for love
to die. Do you believe that statement? Think
about it carefully. I didn’t say that it’s
impossible for romance to die, or for
happiness to die, but for love to die. Neither
did I say that it is impossible for a person to
cease to be committed to the other. But where
commitment is present, it is impossible to
destroy that relationship. Heavy burdens
cannot destroy it, for love “beareth all things.”
Suspicion cannot destroy it, for love
“believeth all things.” Discouragement cannot
destroy it, for love “hopeth all things.”
Difficult trials cannot destroy it, for love
“endureth all things.” In fact nothing can
destroy it, for love “never faileth,” that is, it
never ceases. “Many waters cannot quench love”
(Song of Solomon 8:7).
When one person is committed to self-
sacrifice for the benefit of another, no burden
will be too heavy. Love is the willingness to
bear all burdens, to trust your partner
implicitly, to expect the best, and to endure
the worst. Love is the commitment to keep
on keeping on regardless of circumstances of the bargain. After all, you promised to love,
around you, feelings within you, and until death, period. Regardless of your
consequences ahead of you. Charity never spouse’s behavior, you vowed to love. This is
faileth. the kind of love that God commands.

Do you love your spouse? Let me

rephrase the question. Are you committed to
unselfish living for the long haul? Is that
commitment the sole factor in the future of
your relationship? If not, then start now. Take
the initiative to be kind. Bear insult and injury
meekly. Go out of your way to make your
partner happy. Forget about receiving
anything in return. Commit yourself to a life
of serving your mate. Away with rude remarks,
biting sarcasms, irritability, judgmental
criticism, and petty egotism. Sacrifice your
own happiness for the happiness of your
companion. Focus on being the kind of
person God requires you to be and don’t
attempt to make your mate hold up their side
On the authority of God’s Word, I
guarantee that every couple who lives like this
will never meet a problem that will kill their
relationship, because charity never faileth.
Furthermore, as a by-product of sacrificial
love, the warm feelings of romance and the
quiet contentment of friendship will resurface,
sporadically at first, and more regularly as
your years increase––together.

Eld Michael Gowens is the Pastor of Lexington Primitive Baptist Church, Lexington, KY, USA.
The above article was originally published in the Nov-Dec ’94 issue of “Meditations” Magazine
(Smithville, GA: Sovereign Grace Publications, 1994), pp 1-6. Reproduced with permission.

“In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.”
– Wilbert Donald Gough –

“In marriage there are three rings…

the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.”
– Author Unknown –

“Our love to God is measure by our everyday

fellowship with others and the love it displays.”
– Andrew Murray –

“Love means loving the unlovable–or it is no virtue at all.”

– G K Chesterton –

12
FOREWORD
BY ELD DR BOAZ BOON

Dear FCMers, Christians in this loving way. FCM also gives

I thank God for
His sufficient grace in
the growth of FCM all
these years. The main
purpose of this ministry
is to help Christians
practise Biblical
Separation in the various
institutions of higher learning in Singapore.
The Lord has blessed us with faithfulness
and joy of service in this important area.
However, there is a ‘by-product’ of this
fellowship – i.e., marriage amongst some
brothers and sisters in Christ who served the
Lord together in FCM.
the opportunity for young people from
various BP churches to meet and get to know
one another through wholesome Christian
service. Of course this is not the main aim of
the FCM but it is an essential platform of
blessings that the Lord has raised. Many of
the married couples from the FCM alumni
have continued to serve the Lord fervently in
the various churches they belong to. I praise
the Lord for this.
Let me lovingly exhort you with
Hebrews 10:25, “Not forsaking the assembling of
ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but
exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye
see the day approaching.”

This is indeed a wonderful ‘by-

product’. It is so heart-warming to witness so
In Christ,
many marriages within the FCM after the
Eld Dr Boaz Boon
members have graduated. The Lord has
Overall FCM Coordinator
brought together like-minded God-fearing

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

BY REV DR TOW SIANG HWA

1. “Thou shalt not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever” (2 Cor 6:14). Let God guide you in
the choice of a life partner.

2. “Wives submit, husbands love” is God’s way to harmony (Eph 5:22,25).

3. Hide no secrets: husband and wife are one flesh (Gen 2:24).

13
 4. “For richer, for poorer” – operate one bank account.

5. Pray, read God’s Word together, morning and evening.

6. In dealing with children – be united and fair.

7. Abstain from favouritism.

8. In any disagreement, be ready to say sorry. “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph 4:26).

9. “Honour Father and Mother” means double blessing.

10. Renew your “first love” before God often.

NB Matrimony was ordained of God; Hollywood is out to destroy it.

Rev Dr Tow Siang Hwa is the Senior Pastor of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church.

NEWS & NOTES

Congratulations to Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), and Felicia Ong who were
united in Holy Matrimony on September 6, 2008. They are both members of Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian
Church. The wedding was officiated by their Pastor, the Rev Dr Prabhudas Koshy.

Congratulations to Herbert Goh, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2006) & Overall Student Coordinator
(2004-2006), and Ye Zuyi, FCM Poly (1999-2001), who were united in Holy Matrimony on November 22,
2008. Formally from Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church, Zuyi now worships with her husband at True Life
Bible-Presbyterian Church. The wedding was officiated by the Rev Dr Prabhudas Koshy.

Congratulations to David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), and Cindy Yeo who were united
in Holy Matrimony on December 13, 2008. They are both members of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian
Church. The wedding was officiated by their Senior Pastor, the Rev Dr Tow Siang Hwa.

Jason Liew, FCM Poly (2003-2006) & present Overall Student Coordinator, transferred his
membership from Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church to Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church on
December 28, 2008.

Jonathan Ng, FCM SMU (2006-date), stepped down as the Student Coordinator of FCM SMU.
Carol Leong, an original founding member at FCM SMU’s inception in 2005, is FCM SMU’s new Student
Coordinator.

FCM Poly organised an excursion to SP & NP Open House on January 10, 2009.

14

GOH ZUYI SHARES HER TESTIMONY
We like to thank God
for leading us through our
days from singlehood,
courtship to marriage. This
testimony will be based more
on my thoughts, as Herbert
is very tied-down with
schoolwork. Please do pray
for him.
Thank God for
providing a husband like him.
I must say that he has been a
great source of spiritual help
to me. A prayer that I made
many years ago for a
husband has actually
materialized. To be frank, I
even doubted if that guy
exists! Well, thank God he
does. 
PRAYER FOR A GODLY HUSBAND:
TEXT GOH ZUYI PHOTOS JING KAI
We first met during each other to serve and love
the annual FCM camp in the Lord better. That really
2003 after completing a year struck me and I thought it is
of studies at the University true. Thank God for his
of Newcastle, Australia after sharing as it really helped us
my Polytechnic. At first, I to have the right focus when
did not have a deep we were together.
impression of him, though I
Being in different
did notice him through his
churches was never easy in a
service in the camp
courtship. We were both
committee.
very much involved in our
After a few more ministries. There was also
contacts through group little time to meet up, as
outings and night classes, I work was tough for both of
“officially” noted him us. There were times of trials
gradually. Well, I guessed it and frustrations. But our
was the same for him too! good God has kept us
During this time, there was together till the day we took
much struggle as I was our vows.
praying very hard concerning
this matter as I wanted to
know God’s clear leading. So
there were times when I
prayed very precisely
concerning issues that
bothered me concerning him.
Thank God they were
answered and God clear my
thoughts.
When we were
contemplating courtship,
Herbert shared with me that
the purpose of getting
together is not just all about
companionship, but to help
15
 As we start our lives
together, we covet your
prayers that the Lord will
continue to keep us focused.
Thank God for helping me
to get a job that has more
flexibility of time so that I
can spend more time to take
care of Herbert and the
house chores.
Personally, I thank
God for FCM – Not because
Goh Zuyi, FCM Poly (1999-2001), is worshipping at True Life Bible-Presbyterian Church. She is now a Piano Teacher.
it has helped me, or many
others to find our life
partners; but because I have
gained much spiritually from
the Bible studies and godly
fellowship. Without God’s
Word to guide, it will be vain
to find a partner who is a
“Christian” in name. So may
the current FCMers stay
focus on seeking God’s
Word and His truth. The
16
Lord will surely help you to
find your godly partner in
time to come! 
I will like to end with one of
our favourite verses, “Keep thy
heart with all diligence; for out of
it are the issues of life.” –
Proverbs 4:23
 FROM LAB PARTNER TO LIFE PARTNER:
DAVID POON SHARES HIS COURTSHIP STORY
INTERVIEW JASON LIEW PHOTOS YAO HUI

David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), was able to take time out of his busy schedule and share his
courtship experience with us. This is what became of it.

Could you please tell us a little bit about yourself and how you came to know the Lord?
I’m currently working as a Research Scientist at DSO (Defence Science Organisation). I first
started going to church 16 years ago in 1993 at the age of 11 when my mother brought me to a
church at Meridien Hotel. I was baptised there at the age of 13. Then the worship changed to
become Charismatic and I left soon after. My mother brought me to another church at Carlton
Hotel a few years after but it was Charismatic too and I did not stay long. My mother brought me
to yet another church at ACS(I) when I was in JC but felt empty there so I stopped attending.
Then I joined the army. My neighbour, who is from Calvary Pandan (Mandarin Congregation),
invited me to church 8 years ago in 2001 when I was 19. When I told him that I didn’t want to
attend a “concert” church, he assured me that the worship services are very traditional. When he
described the style of worship, the pews and the hymn books, I told him that "this is the church I
have been waiting to go to". So he brought me there, I joined the Mandarin Service and the
Chinese YF. About 2 months later, I switched over to the English Service as I could understand it
better. I remained in the Chinese YF until the end of 2006 before joining CPYAF where I am now.

17
How did you come to know about FCM and what was it which made you stayed on?
There were quite a number of Chinese YF brethren in FCM. Shumin was my YF group leader at
one time and encouraged me to join FCM once I enter NUS. After entering NUS, I immediately
joined FCM. When I first started attending, I was very much pleasantly surprised that there were
people of my age (or close to my age) who knew so much about the Bible. What impressed me
even more is the amount of content that each Bible Study Leader has to offer. Pr Mark Chen was
leading the group then for 6 months, followed by Brother Nelson for two years and subsequently
Ling Kang for another 6 months during my 3 years in FCM. They really dug deep into God’s
Word and fed us with a lot of spiritual meat. The amount of things I have learnt over the years
were tremendous. Thank God for the spiritual blessings and nourishment FCM has given me.

That’s great! Thank God that you have found FCM beneficial. What was it which you
found most memorable about FCM?
Most memorable… I would say it’s the discussion, sharing and prayer that we have after the Bible
Study.

Under what circumstances were you and Cindy acquainted? I heard from her the both of
you were in the same course and year. How did she end up becoming your lab partner
and eventually life partner?
Well… it was the beginning of a new semester. Cindy was late for class and everybody had already
found a lab partner. I came even much later so I had to pair up with Cindy. She was a
lost Christian then so I invited her for FCM Combined NUS Gospel Rally and eventually to
SGBF on Reformation Sunday in 2004. It was a semester-long project and we had to submit
reports every 2-3 weeks and there was this one time, we worked till about 10pm so I asked if she
wanted to have dinner together. Eventually, the project was over and we graduated in 2006. Come
to think of it, we were “disconnected” for about two years. We emailed each other and got
reacquainted in December that year (because she owes me a meal). Heh. Later she started coming
for SGBF regularly and by God’s grace, she was saved on April 23, 2007. On May 13, 2007 she
gave me a reply for the question I asked her on February 14…

Ooh… what did you ask her?

I asked her if we could be more than friends. She said “yes” about 3 months later and so our
courtship began. Because we don’t see each other very often, probably about 2-3 times a week, we
would call each other at night to share about the daily blessings and struggles that we face. We will
also take turns to share a verse on a different chapter of Proverbs every night. After sharing, we
would pray together for each other over the phone. In the morning, I will give her a call and pray
with her over the phone and commit the day to God in prayer.

18
Wah… I believe this is something we guys can emulate. How did you propose to her then?
Did you come to Proverbs 31 and asked her to be your wife?
Nope, I didn’t. But that’s a good idea too. Haha. It was about 7 months into the courtship, in
December 2007, when Cindy together with my mum and younger brother went on a holiday trip
to Tokyo, Japan. She stayed with my mum, and I stayed with my brother. I asked my mum and
brother for their opinions over dinner (without Cindy noticing). Later that night, after we had our
nightly devotion at the lobby of the hotel resort in Mt. Fuji, and when it was past midnight, she
said “It's Christmas now” and I took out the ring and asked, “Will you marry me?” She said
“Yes.”

Praise the Lord. Once again, I would like to wish you and Cindy a blissful marriage for
many, many years to come. Thanks for your time!
Thank you and you are most welcomed.

David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), is a member of Calvary Pandan

Bible-Presbyterian Church. He is a Research Scientist at Defence Science Organisation (DSO).

19
 A TALE OF TWO TEACHERS:
BENSON ANG SHARES HIS COURTSHIP STORY
INTERVIEW JASON LIEW PHOTOS WONG LIP MENG, TEO JUN ZI

Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), was

able to take time out of his busy schedule and share his
courtship experience with us. This is what became of it.

Hi Benson! Thank God for your

encouraging graduation testimony in the
Jul-Sep ’08 issue of the FCM Newsletter.
You and Felicia are both teachers, correct?

Yes. I’m teaching at Greenview Secondary

School and Felicia is a teacher at Changkat
Changi Secondary School.

This is poetic. I heard that you actually got to know Felicia while you two were still
secondary school students... but did not get together until only about 7 years ago in 2002.
What was the transformation from an unbelieving couple to a Christian couple like?

That’s correct. Well, it wasn’t an easy one. We were unbelievers when we first started dating.
Initially, there was a lot of resistance from Felicia after she learnt that I had become a Christian
(my aunt brought my sister and I to Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian Church in 2004 when I was in
NTU Year 2 Engineering). She thought Christians were extremists because as Christians, we are
unable to do a lot of things, e.g. marrying an unbeliever. The tension snowballed and we kept on
quarreling more often because of religion so much so that we had to take 2 weeks in 2005 to cool
things off. It was literally like a break up.

Aiya… so jialat? By then you would already have joined FCM right? How did you come to
know of it and what was most memorable?

FCM is often mentioned in the Gethsemane bulletin and Brother Boon Siang (from NIE then)
encouraged me to join. After attending the first meeting, I never looked back. I admit, school
work can sometimes be very tiring but I find that FCM can not only strengthen your faith,
increase your Bible knowledge, you can also sing hymns, chat with Christian friends… it’s really
enjoyable and it became one of the ways for me to de-stress. =P Most memorable would be

20
talking about God together through discussions and knowing that there are fellow students who
go through the same struggles as you (IA, FYP, assignment deadlines to meet etc). Aunty Helen
also chatted with us often to find out more about our struggles as students so we won’t feel so
stressed out.

Anything you want to tell the current FCMers, including

your sister Cindy, who is now also in FCM NTU/NIE?

I would like to encourage the FCMers to hold on to the faith.

Don’t give up. We may be very busy, but let us not lose our
faith. Continue to come for FCM. With God, you can do
more things. He can help you to manage your time more
effectively, better than those who “mug” at hall/home.
Believe me, God can do wonders! I know it’s easier said than
done, but we must always remember to pray. God will give us
a clear direction according to His divine Will, but never cease to pray… Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye
first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Now, back to you and Felicia, how did you all resolve things eventually?

After 2 weeks of “cooling off,” we managed to sit down and talk again. I think open
communication is very important, to let each other know what you are thinking. When she asked
me whether I would marry her if she was persistent about not being a Christian, I told her that I
will need to pray also and see how the Lord leads. Sometime later, Felicia’s grandmother (whom
she was very close to) was hospitalized. Rev Wee and Aunty Helen went down to the hospital to
preach and witness to her. Her grandma accepted Christ before she passed away. I think God
worked through that way. She became more open about Christianity, started slowly going to
church, to see what it is about, etc. Initially she found that church-going requires a lot of
commitment as she had to give tuition over the weekend, plus her school-day workload, she
found it to be very taxing and the time could have been spent doing schoolwork, clocking tuition

21
hours, etc. Though at that time we quarreled quite frequently, I prayed that the Lord will open up
her mind. Thank God for answered prayer. She attended the catechism class together with my
family and I. Together with Cindy, we got baptized in Christmas 2007 and Felicia in Good Friday
2008 after she accepted the Lord.

Praise the Lord. How did you propose to Felicia?

It was at one of the skiing mountains in Korea. Both of us were already working by then. I used
some snow from the ground, added some pressure and molded it into a heart shape. I knelt down,
presented the heart to her and once she opened the ice, the ring was inside. She said “yes!”

Wow. That’s creative! Before we go, Jun Zi has one last question for you: It is commonly
said that “marriage is the tombstone of love.” How will you disprove this saying?

Oh haha. Of course I don’t agree. There are a lot of people who finds marriage torturing, a loss of
freedom, a lot of restraints and you cannot hang out so long with your female friends like they
used to. Think about it. Your wife is someone who will be spending the rest of her life with you,
either until you grow old or passes away, whichever comes first. Either way, you are spending the
rest of your life together with her. Definitely time will have to be taken away to nurture and grow
the relationship/family. With regards to priorities, I adopt this sequence: God, family, followed by
friends and work... Ask God for wise time management. You can really feel and see the difference!

Thanks for your time! I would like to wish you and Felicia a blissful marriage for many,
many years to come. God bless!

You are welcome. Thanks and God bless!

Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), is a member of Gethsemane

Bible-Presbyterian Church. He is a teacher at Greenview Secondary School.

22
 BIBLE-PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF SINGAPORE
DECLARATION ON MARRIAGE
[Adopted on 30 April 1972]
THE BIBLE-PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH of Singapore and Malaysia holds that Christians should
marry Christians, whether the wedding is performed in the Church or outside the Church. The
Biblical injunction: "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Cor 6:14) applies to marriage.
This portion is further elaborated in Chapter 24 of the Westminster Confession of Faith to
which the Church subscribes. The relevant paragraphs of this chapter read as follows:
1. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any one man to
have more than one wife, nor for one woman to have more than one husband at the same time.
2. Marriage is ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife: for the increase of
mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for the
preventing of uncleanness.
3. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry who are able with judgment to give their consent;
yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord. And, therefore such as profess the
true reformed religion should not marry with the infidels, Papists, or other idolaters: neither
should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying such as are notoriously wicked in
their life or maintaining damnable heresies.
4. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden in the
Word; nor can such incestuous marriage ever be made lawful by any law of man, or consent of
parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.
Members of the Church should therefore bear the above in mind when choosing their life-
partners and timing of their marriages and all ministers of the Church should do their utmost to counsel
their members to that end.
If one of the parties of an intending marriage to be held in the Church is not yet a believer, the
minister-in-charge shall, if the man is the party concerned, not allow marriage until he has publicly
confessed Jesus as his Saviour in baptism as the man is to be the head of the woman (Eph 5:23). If it
is the woman who is not yet a believer and she is willing to follow the husband, the minister should do
his utmost to bring her to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ before consenting to marry
them in the Church. If she has shown a genuine desire to confess Jesus as her Saviour and in fact has
so confessed, she should be advised to do so in baptism, if necessary postponing the wedding date
until after the baptism. If, however, there are extenuating circumstances that the wedding has to be
performed before baptism, the minister shall, in consultation with the Board of Elders of the Church
Session, examine the case carefully and make a decision prayerfully and judiciously on the merits
of the case, but always taking into consideration the Biblical principle and the provisions in the
Confession of Faith of the Church.
(End of Declaration)

Source: Bible-Presbyterian Banner (Jun-Jul 1976), p4.

23

EDITORIAL
CONSIDER THE LILIES
BY JASON LIEW
Dear FCMers,
The rapid pace of a student living in
21st Century Singapore can be very
horrifying, especially in tertiary institutions.
As you begin another semester of hectic
schedules, assignment frenzies and project
rushes with seemingly impossible deadlines
and very soon exam “mug-a-thons”, may I
urge you to consciously set aside time daily
to spend quiet time with God in prayer and
in the reading of His Word. An ex-FCMer
once told me, “If you think school is busy now,
wait till you work.” Many failed the real
challenge at workplace and lost their
Christian testimony because they failed to
“seek God first” (Matt 6:33) while they
were in school. Let us set our affections on
things above and not lose ourselves like the
rest of the world in relentless pursuit of a
ridiculous rat race. Lily Tomlin rightly
observed, “The trouble with the rat race is that
even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
24
However in the aftermath of the
financial tsunami, one is more preoccupied
with worries of the basic necessities of life
rather than being a glorified rodent.
Graduating students gawk at an unpleasant
prospect of underpaid jobs and
unemployment, other than the insidious
FYP. What if the market doesn’t recover?
What will happen if I cannot find a job?
What if I cannot repay my study loan?
What if I cannot foot my family’s medical
bills? What if I don’t have enough to eat or
wear? What if… Well, the list goes on.
These are real concerns. These are life’s
essentials. But the real question is: Do we
worry or trust that our Heavenly Father will
supply our every need? Can we like David
say “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not
want” (Psalm 23:1)? No more “what ifs” o
ye of little faith! DL Moody affirmed, “Faith
takes God without any ifs.” Yes, we need
FAITH: Forsaking All I Trust Him; “the
substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things
not seen” (Heb 11:1). As Corrie Ten Boom
puts it, “Faith sees the invisible, believes the
unbelievable, and receives the impossible.” God
never asked for great men and women of
faith, He wants men and women of great
faith. Hudson Taylor testified, “I have found
that there are three stages in every great work of
God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then
it is done.” Remember Romans 14:23, “…for
whatsoever is not of faith is sin.”
Read carefully the words of our Lord
Jesus Christ in His sermon on the mount
beautifully recorded for us in Matthew
6:25-34, “25Therefore I say unto you, Take no
thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye
shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put
on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body
than raiment? 26Behold the fowls of the air: for they
sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns;
yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not
much better than they? 27Which of you by taking
thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 28And
why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the
lilies of the field , how they grow; they toil not,
neither do they spin: 29And yet I say unto you,
That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed
like one of these. 30Wherefore, if God so clothe the
grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is
cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe
you, O ye of little faith? 31Therefore take no
thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall
we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:)
for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need
of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom
of God, and his righteousness; and all these things
shall be added unto you. 34Take therefore no
thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take
thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the
day is the evil thereof.”
appreciate the things around us. We do not
stop to smell the roses, much less wonder
about their design. Could we but pause for
a moment to think about a flower? Could
we be more infatuated with the Maker of
the flower rather than simply being
captivated by its pretty appearance? Could
we scrutinize the intricacies of the parts of a
flower and attribute its splendour as a
wondrous spectacle of God’s magnificent
power and creative ability? Could we
contemplate on God’s beautiful handiwork
which we so often take for granted and
meditate upon the message our Lord is
trying to convey and have us learn?
Imagine, if the fowls of the air could
speak (except for parrots… heh), what do
you think their opinion of us human beings,
men and women who are supposed to be
made in the image of God, will be?

Allow me to direct your attention to

the words bolded in verse 28. In asking His
disciples to consider the lilies of the field,
our Lord was not playing mind games or
using any flowery language (pardon the pun)
with them but for their understanding (and
ours) drew a very vivid illustration from
what was commonplace and existed from
the beginning of creation (except perhaps
during Noah’s Flood), all the way to Jesus’
time and even until today – flowers.
Flowers are given to people for all kinds of
reasons: weddings, funerals, births, hospital Overheard in an Orchard
Said the Robin to the Sparrow
stays, anniversaries, birthdays and varied “I should really like to know
special occasions. We see flowers all over Why these human beings
God’s creation. But oftentimes, given our Rush about and worry so.”
busy lives we hardly slow down to

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 Said the Sparrow to the Robin, talking about them, discussing them
“Friend I think that it must be, with others, arguing about them,
That they have no Heavenly Father and reading about them in various
Such as cares for you and me.”
books and magazines. And the
~ Author Unknown ~ world today is trying to get us all
live on that level. Take a casual
I’ve really garnered great insights
glance at the books on the
from the above poem but if what the
bookstalls and you will see how
sparrow said to the robin were true, that
these things are catered for. That is
humans have no Heavenly Father that cares
the mind of the world, and that is
for us like He does with them, then I
the circle of its interest. People live
believe we are of all men most miserable.
for these things, and become
Thank God this is not the case, because
concerned and worried about them
God does care for us (1 Pet 5:7) and that
in all sorts of different ways. (Studies
our Lord Jesus Christ used an a fortiori (even
in the Sermon on the Mount, p433)
more so) argument at the end of verse 26,
“Are ye not much better than they?” As with the There is a prayer that many find
picturesque lilies, the example of the flying helpful especially in times of worry i.e. The
fowls uses an a minori ad maius (from the Prayer of Serenity, “God grant me the serenity
lesser to the greater) contrast to reinforce to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to
and drive home the point that we “are of change the things I can, and the wisdom to know
more value than many sparrows” (Matt 10:31) the difference.” Paul exhorts us in Philippians
and that even the worldwide fame (2 4:6-7, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by
Chronicles 9), glory and pageantry of King prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your
Solomon pales into insignificance as requests be made known unto God. And the peace
compared to the design magnificence of the of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep
lilies of the field. Still, we find children of your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” He
God behaving like the children of the world. then ends off with one of these very last
verses in Philippians 4:19, “But my God shall
Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981)
supply all your need according to his riches in glory
astutely observed,
by Christ Jesus.”
We tend to be over anxious about
our life, about what we shall eat,
and what we shall drink, and also
about our body, what we shall put
on. It is appalling to notice how
many people seem to live entirely
within that compass; food, drink
and clothing is the whole of their
life. They spend the whole of their
time thinking about these things,

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 FLOWERS preach to us if we will hear:--
The rose saith in the dewy morn:
I am most fair;
Yet all my loveliness is born
Upon a thorn.
The poppy saith amid the corn:
Let but my scarlet head appear
And I am held in scorn;
Yet juice of subtle virtue lies
Within my cup of curious dyes.
The lilies say: Behold how we
Preach without words of purity.
The violets whisper from the shade
Which their own leaves have made:
Men scent our fragrance on the air,
Yet take no heed
Of humble lessons we would read.
But not alone the fairest flowers:
The merest grass
Along the roadside where we pass,
Lichen and moss and sturdy weed,
Tell of His love who sends the dew,
The rain and sunshine too,
To nourish one small seed.
~ Christina Rossetti (1830-1894) ~
The problem with us today is that
we have very little faith. Will “O ye of little
faith!” be the Lord’s appraisal of you? It is
because of this lack of faith (which is sin)
that believers behave unseemly like
unbelievers. In a Calvary Pandan weekly
Jason Liew is the Overall Student Coordinator of FCM
and a member of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church.
27
article dated December 21, 2008, Rev Dr
Quek Suan Yew wrote, “God did not say pray
only and starve and die as you read the Bible. God
said seek Him first and all the earthly food and
clothing that Christians need will be supplied to
them in His time.” Do you and I have this
faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ for
our Heavenly Father to provide? It could
mean sleeping less, so you can serve God
more. It could mean saying no to freelance
jobs (like web design for me) that gives you
additional pocket money, so that you can
be an “unprofitable servant” (Luke 17:10)
for the Lord. It could just mean
commitment to the cause of Christ by
coming for FCM Bible Study and attending
fellowship groups and trusting the Lord to
help us in the wise management of our time
as compared to those who seemingly have a
lot more to spare simply because they do
not have the commitments a child of God
will have. Remember, seek God first.
Don’t just rush through life. The
next time you pass by greenery, take time to
smell the flowers, consider the lilies and
contemplate on how marvelous our Lord’s
love for us His children is. The Lord is
good.
His Unworthy Servant,
Jason Liew
The FCM Family AY 08/09
Contact Information & Bible Study Groups

Overall FCM Coordinator Eld Dr Boaz Boon (Calvary Tengah B-P Church)
 9824 7681  boazboon@mytengah.com

Assistant Advisor Dn Peter Phoa (Calvary Tengah B-P Church)

 9758 1469  peterphoa@mytengah.com
Overall Student Coordinator Jason Liew (Calvary Pandan B-P Church)
 9017 8213  jasonliewyf@gmail.com

FCM NUS
Bible Study Leader
Ko Ling Kang, BTh cand (Calvary Pandan B-P Church)
 kolingkang@gmail.com
Student Coordinator
Joy Ng
 9112 1760  ngwenlijoy@gmail.com
Venue & Time
Faculty of Science, NUS (Seminar Room 13)
 6 Science Drive 2, Singapore 117546
 Every Wednesday, 5.15pm / Dinner @ 7.30pm

FCM NTU/NIE FCM SMU

Bible Study Leader Bible Study Leader
Rev Wee Eng Moh, BTh, MRE (Berith B-P Church) Joshua Yong, DipTh, BRE, MDiv cand (Truth B-P Church)
 emwee@singnet.com.sg  yongbkj@hotmail.com
Student Coordinator Student Coordinator
Teo Jun Zi Carol Leong
 9299 9501  teojunzi@gmail.com  9876 3151  carol.leong.2005@business.smu.edu.sg
Venue & Time Venue & Time
Blk 63, NTU Hall of Residence 13 (Eld Sim’s Home) School of Economics, SMU (Seminar Room 4.3)
 32 Nanyang Crescent, #03-1255, Singapore 637658  90 Stamford Road, Singapore 178903
 Every Monday, 6.30pm / Dinner @ 5.30pm  Selected Fridays, 2.00pm

FCM SP & NP FCM RP

Bible Study Leader Bible Study Leader
James Tan, BTh cand (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) Lim Jun Sheng, BEng, CertRK (Calvary Tengah B-P Church)
 jamestty@gmail.com  sa_jurong@hotmail.com
Student Coordinator Student Coordinator
Eleanor Ee Samuel Goh
 9298 1643  enhui89@gmail.com  9181 7471  eleven_blue@yahoo.com.sg
Venue & Time Venue & Time
School of DMIT, SP (Level 3 Tutorial Room) Main Library, RP (Study Area)
 500 Dover Road, Singapore 139651  9 Woodlands Avenue 9, Singapore 738964
 Every Wednesday, 6pm  Every Wednesday, 6pm

Newsletter Advisor | Eld Dr Boaz Boon Editor | Jason Liew

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