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Sydnee Watters

Professor Engelbrecht

English 001

29 June 2017

Talk and Touch

Humans can be seen as finicky creatures when it comes to relationships, as can be best

seen in high school. Cliques dominate the social life of teenagers with groups such as jocks,

nerds, and “the weird ones”. Behind these groups and relationships are communication and

contact. Those who stick together and can relate to each other usually stay together. Football

players often have strong bonds with their teams and they're constantly in contact in some kind

of way, they pat each other on the back and hug with victories. The contact of human beings and

the verbal communications create relationships between people.

“Cathedral” by Raymond Carver is a short story that goes in depth about connections of

mankind. The husband realizes there's more to communication than just speaking as he spent the

night with Robert, his wife's blind friend. The husband, wife, and Robert spend the day together

and all the while, the husband is very uncomfortable with Robert's presence. He doesn't wear

glasses to cover his eyes, and Robert's weakened muscles cause his eyes to move independently

and focus randomly. That night, Robert and the husband “watched” television and the husband

began to ask if he knew what a cathedral looked like. When Robert announced he didn't, the

husband explained with words and then eventually began to draw together. They made an

unsteady bond that night with communication and connection. They connected over their words

and communicated through touch. Whereas words did an okay job at explaining the cathedral to
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Robert, the human contact while drawing did him better. People thrive off of human contact and

just small touches can evoke more emotions in the brain than one might think. Contact with

others, such as hugs, can create bonds of trust quicker than words can. Just a simple human touch

can do something in seconds that words may take hours, months, or even years to create. We

thrive off touch to form connections and further relationships with others.

In “We Are a Camera”, the article greatly describes the human connection created

through the popular GoPro camera. Nick Paumgarten explains the interest behind these portable

and durable cameras that entranced the population into sharing their lives. He reveals the effects

of this camera on our personal lives and the lives of others. The GoPro allows people to take

videos on the go, whether it be mountain biking or surfing, the camera can do it all. With the

constant demand of new, interesting material on the internet, it's no surprise there was an influx

of such content from those recording their adventures with GoPros. They allow us to connect to

millions through experiences and the excitement of possibly dangerous feats. People begin to

chase the thrill and record more risky events that will quickly be consumed by the population.

Although you hardly see the person recording, you often get a view of their activities from a

personal point of view. It's almost like you're there. We connect to these people because by

showing off their lives with a GoPro, it feels like we are living them ourselves. With the GoPro,

it doesn't take word or contact to connect with people around the world, or even those right next

to you, it just takes one little camera, one daring person, and many viewers to become engaged.

“The Limits of Friendship” author Maria Konnikova talks about the Dunbar number that

was founded by accident when Robin Dunbar was studying primates. He took interest in how

often they groomed each other and inferred it was related to primates living in complex societies.
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He also hypothesized that the frontal lobe of the brain could relate to or predict the social size of

the animal. With time and research, Dunbar realised he was indeed correct in his studies and thus

the Dunbar number. A certain limit of friends is allowed to certain social groups as “the ones you

can confide in about most things” (Konnikova 236) or “casual friends — those you'd invite to a

large party” (236). Those groups are created by the connections we have with others. Dunbar’s

studies revealed that the constant contact in the communities of primates strengthens their bonds,

so it wouldn't be far off to say that constant contact between friends could lead them to being

closer. With contact comes communication as well and those in your inner circle would be talked

to more often than those in your outer circle. Our relationships with others are purely based off

of constant contact and communication.

In the current times, social media is seen as just another part of our lives. Everyday brings

experiences everyone wants to put on Instagram or Snapchat. As Paumgarten states in “We Are a

Camera”, “When the agony of missing a shot trumps the joy of the experience worth shooting,

the adventurer athlete...reveals himself to be something else...a vessel for the creation of

content.” (332). We are so caught up in making sure everyone knows what we are up to that we

forget to enjoy the moment. Our memories aren't as vivid because of the focus on media as we

think “this'll get so many views” or “bet everyone will be jealous”. My intentions aren't to say

social media is a bad thing, it definitely has its benefits, but the world is too absorbed in sharing

every living moment. We have stopped talking as much to each other face to face, and limit

interactions to instant messaging through phones or media. Our lives are up for display so others

can see, but do we see the lives we lead ourselves? We crave the recognition that likes and

reblogs give us, because it gives validation and contact to others when we are apart. That
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recognition we aspire to achieve is just a superficial way of recreating contact and connection we

can get in everyday life. The obsession with media may seem very superficial and self-centered

at first, but I believe we are searching for the human connection virtually because we do not

pursue it in real life as much anymore.

In order to live a fulfilling life, people crave relationships with others. Our bodies do the

work for is with contact and communication. We talk and understand others to start bonding,

whether it be deep talks or corny jokes. Human contact such as hugs or holding hands or pats on

the backs are just as effective as talking in relationship making with others. As a species we

thrive on connections with others, and our body chemistry agrees with that too. In the end, the

basis of human connection relies on contact and communication.

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Works Cited

Konnikova, Maria. ""The Limits of Friendship"." ​Emerging: Contemporary Readings for

Writers​. 3rd ed. N.p.: Barclay Barrios, 2016. N. pag. Print.

Paumgarten, Nick. ""We Are a Camera"." ​Emerging: Contemporary Readings for Writers​. 3rd

ed. N.p.: Barclay Barrios, 2016. N. pag. Print.