ROLF

The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters

1995 - Design by: L.L. Hundal ** Special Thanks To: Steve Miller

THE LEGAL STUFF!

NUELOW is a trademark owned by Steve Miller, and is used with permission.

Copyright 1995 by L.L. Hundal. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for non-
profit electronic redistribution, provided all credits and acknowledgments of
ownership are left intact. Version 1.0, released August, 1995.

THE GAME!

1.0: Introduction
Rolf is a stupid-simple combat game where the object is to kill the other guy
before he kills you, and possibly get a little roleplaying in on the side. (But
that's entirely secondary to dice-rolling and munchy-chewing.) This game has
been designed with gamers in mind, and we know what you want--sex and violence,
and this game gives you the opportunity to send your imaginary characters
through both. Heck, it even includes three pregenerated characters (the title
character Rolf, his arch-enemy Ralf, and the beautiful warrior maiden known as
Rebah) so you don't even half to spend time generating characters! So, get the
munchies, dice, and settle down to play!

1.1: Background
The setting for ROLF is the kingdom of Gog. After centuries of war with the
neighboring land of Magog, the land was recently devastated by a terrible dragon
created by foul Magogian magics. Most Gogites were slain, and many of those who
lived were transformed into hideous critters by the magical radiation emanating
from the dragon. Now, only a handful of humans still survive, and they are
locked in combat over food, water, and human sextoys so that the land may be
repopulated.

2.0: Creating Characters

Since this is a game of combat, character generation is so simple it takes no
more than 10 minutes. All you have to worry about are three Attributes: Brawn,
Body, and Brains.

*To determine your character's Brawn, roll 2d20 (two 20-sided dice). This
Attribute represents his (or hers, no sexism here) raw muscle-power. This is
also the number of damage points a character can take before he (or she) is
dead.

*To determine a characters Body, roll 2d10. This Attribute represents his (or
hers, am I not a good little PC game designer?) This represents how good-
looking, toned, and physically attractive the character is.

Martin Van Helsing (Order #14973537)

 *The one Attribute that's a bit complicated to generate is the character's
Brains. Before this is rolled, you have to decide whether the character is male
or female. The kind of dice that is rolled to determine the character's brain
varies by the character's sex. Male characters (like Rolf and Ralf) roll 2d4,
while female characters receive 2d6 worth of Brains. This is the most realistic
aspect of Rolf--that women are smarter than men. (See... I'm a REALLY good
little PC game designer!)

Brains determines how many Combat Maneuvers and Other Stuff (see 3.2 for
details) the character knows, as well as how intelligent he (or she) is.

And that's it. Once you have those three Attributes written down on a piece of
paper, you're on the verge of bloody battles.

3.0 Attribute Checks

All actions in ROLF are governed by a character's Attributes. While dice need
not to be rolled to determine if a character can cross an empty street safely,
swinging across that same street on a vine might be call for a Brawn Attribute
Check. The same is true of using weapons, doing cartwheels, and so on.

Attribute Checks are made by rolling 2d6, adding the result, and comparing it
to the appropriate Attribute. (Section 3.2 elaborates on this rule.)

3.1 Weapons and Armor (Stuff)

There are few things in ROLF that are more important than things to kill with,
and things to protect a character from getting killed. Each newly created
character should roll a 2d4. The number rolled is how many pieces of equipment
he (or she) gets from the following list of stuff.

Table 1: List of Stuff

Stuff Description Damage

Sword, Huge 4 points
Sharp, heavy, deadly
Sword, Regular 2 points
Sharp, lighter, still deadly
Sword, Small 1 point
Child's toy
Spiked Club 2 points
Backup weapon

Mace/Ax, Huge 5 points

Spiked bowling ball on metal post
Mace/Ax, Regular 3 points
Bowling ball on wooden handle
Crossbow, Regular 4 points
Ignores all armor, ranged
Crossbow, Small 1 point
Ignores all armor, ranged

Clothes --
Covers nakedness
Boots --
Encases sweaty feet
Belt --
Where weapons hang from.
Bikini, Fur --
Hardly covers nakedness
Loincloth --
Barely covers nakedness

Martin Van Helsing (Order #14973537)

 Bikini, Chainmail -(1D3-1) Damage
Does NOT cover nakedness.
Armor, Leggings -1 Damage
Wear em on the legs
Armor, Gauntlets -1 Damage
Wear em on the hands
Armor, Chainmail -(1D6-1) Damage
Sleeved Waistcoat
Armor, Breastplate -(2D6-2) Damage
Goes on the chest

Each character can carry one huge-sized weapon or three regular-sized weapons
or four small-sized weapons, or one regular-sized weapon and two small-sized
weapons. The character may wear one set of clothes and two kinds of armor OR one
kind of bikini with either leggings or gauntlets. If the character is unable to
carry all the items it owns, it may hide them in a cave, or under a boulder.

If someone out there actually wants to play ROLF as a campaign game, the
characters may get more Stuff by looting the dead bodies of their opponents.

4.0 Combat and Using Stuff

Each weapon in ROLF does a set amount of damage, and hits are scored when a
character rolls a successful Attribute Check against its Brawn. The target can
attempt to either strike back or avoid the deflect the blow if it has the
appropriate Combat Maneuver by likewise rolling against its Brawn (or other
Attribute, in the case of some of the odder Combat Maneuvers). Armor is
cumulative, and once the amount of damage points has been absorbed by it, it
becomes useless unless repaired (which is done between combats). However, as
points are taken off Brawn when a character is damaged in combat, the chance of
making successful Brawn Attribute checks is reduced as well. Further, for every
5 points of Brawn lost, the character loses 1 point of Body, thus making Body
Attribute checks harder as well.

In Combat, the character with the highest Body goes first. If there is a tie,
the character with the highest Brawn goes first. In each turn, a character may
use two of its Combat Maneuvers, and the character who acted second gets to use
two in a row, so that the turn sequence ends up looking like this ABBA, with "A"
being the character with the highest Body.

For example, Rolf is locked in deadly Combat with the beautiful, fur-bikini-
clad Rebah. Rolf's Body is 14, and Rebah's is 15, so she gets to go first. Rebah
uses her Basic Attack in an attempt to slice Rolf with her small sword, but Rolf
uses his Dodge maneuver to avoid the damage.

Then he attempts to use the Strike Pose maneuver, in an effort to lay the
groundwork for a Seduction next round. (After all, Rolf wants to repopulate the
land, not kill the beautiful Rebah.) Rolf's Attribute check is automatically
successful, since his Body still exceeds 12 at this point. Normally, Rebah would
have to roll against her Brains to avoid swooning over the impressive display of
beefcake and fall into Rolf's strong arms, but she happens to have the trait
"Same-sex Preference" (see 5.0 for details) and is thus unaffected. She uses her
final action that round to use her Castrate maneuver. Rolf is out of actions, so
she is automatically successful... ouch!

4.1 Combat Maneuvers

When a character wants to perform a Combat Maneuver, the player rolls 2d6 and
compares the result to the character's Attribute that applies to that maneuver.
If the number is less than the Attribute Rating, then the attempt is successful.
(ATT = Attribute)

Martin Van Helsing (Order #14973537)

 *Basic Attack: All characters must take this Combat Maneuver. ATT: Brawn.

*Castrate: Usable when a Male character is Flexing and/or Striking a Pose.

If the attack is successful, the male permanently loses 1 point of Brawn and 5
points of Body. The character must be wielding a weapon to attempt this
maneuver. ATT: Brawn.

*Debate Philosophy: By posing such pithy questions as "If a bear falls in the
woods, do the trees care?" the character can confuse opponents, causing him (or
her) to lose one action that round. The target may attempt a Brains check to
avoid the effect. ATT: Brains.

*Deflect: The character may try to deflect Brawn-based attacks against him
(or her). The character must be wielding a weapon to attempt this maneuver. ATT:
Brawn.

*Disarm: The character may try to knock a weapon out of the opponents hand. The
target may try to roll his (or her) Brawn on 3d6 to avoid the effect. The
character must be wielding a weapon to attempt this maneuver.
ATT: Brawn.

*Disembowel: Unless the target successfully used Deflect or Dodge, it suffers

the weapon's damage + 2d6 points. The character must be wielding a weapon to
attempt this maneuver. ATT: Brawn.

*Do Lunch: The character is able to fight and eat at the same time. ATT: Brawn

*Dodge: The character manages to completely avoid one Brawn-based attack per
time this ability is successfully used. ATT: Body.

*Seduce: Through words, gestures, and general lewdness, the character tries to
convince the opponent to join it in an effort to propagate the species. For this
attempt, the character adds its Body and Brains and rolls 3d6. The target may
roll against its Brains to avoid being seduced.
ATT: Special.

*Strategic Bleeding: When a character has 5 or less damage points left, this
Combat Maneuver can be used to ruin the other guy's clothes or boots by bleeding
all over them. This is a "I'm gonna die, but I'll make you pay" maneuver. (All
right, so it's ineffectual... what did you expect? It's a skill to be used by a
LOSER!) ATT: Body

*Strike Pose: The target must make a successful Brains check or lose both
actions, due to being filled with admiration over the character's stunning
body. At the beginning of the following round, the target must roll a
Brains check on 1d4. If the check fails, the combat ends, and the
characters go off to find a soft spot where they may lay down. ATT: Body.

*Walk and Chew Gum: For the characters in the world of ROLF, this is an
amazing stun that keeps people entertained around the campfires. ATT:
Brains.

5.0 Optional Rule: Character Traits

I've included the following traits to help you give the characters color.
Ideally, players who like to roleplay should be able to figure these things out
themselves, but, judging from the fact that every game system seems to include
material similar to this, most of us can't. There are no dice rolls involved
with these traits. They are just things each character has about him (or her)
that may or may not have broad applications in the game. Characters may choose
any number of traits, but they should not be contradictory.

Martin Van Helsing (Order #14973537)

 *Busty: Females only. The character has a hard time seeing her feet while
walking down stairs, but fills out a fur-bikini nicely. Gives a -1 point
modifier to Strike Pose and Seduce Attributes checks.

*Chafing: The character cannon wear chainmail bikinis comfortably.

*Coldhearted: The character laughs as the opponent uses his (or her) Strategic
Bleeding maneuver and then finishes him (or her) off.

*Cowardly: The character doesn't like combat.

*Ego-maniac: The character thinks he (or she) is the best and the brightest in
all of Gog, and will happily tell everyone this fact.

*Nimble: The character is graceful and dexterous. Has the body of a dancer.

*Lefthanded: Will die earlier than righthanded people, assuming swords don't
kill the character first.

*Same-sex Preference: The character is as gay as a morning in May, and is immune

to Seduction and Strike Pose maneuvers from the opposite sex.

Squeamish: The character doesn't like the sight of blood.

*Sense of honor: The character always fights fair and never loots dead bodies.

*Short-tempered: The character has an itchy sword hand.

6.0 Pregenerated Characters

ROLF: Sex is Male; Brawn is 30; Body is 14; Brains is 3; Combat Maneuvers are
Basic Attack, Do Lunch, Strike Pose. Traits are Ego-maniac; Stuff Carried is
Loincloth, Breastplate, Boots, Huge Sword

RALF: Sex is Male; Brawn is 21; Body is 6; Brains is 4; Combat Maneuvers are
Basic Attack, Disarm, Disembowel, Seduction. Traits are Ego-maniac, Short-
tempered. Stuff Carried is Clothes, Chainmail, Breastplate, Boots, Regular
Sword.

REBAH: Sex is Female; Brawn is 26; Body is 15; Brains is 7; Combat Maneuvers are
Basic Attack, Castrate, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Strategic Bleeding, Strike
Pose, Walk and Chew Gum. Traits are Same-sex Preference; Stuff Carried: Fur
Bikini, Leggings, Boots, Normal Mace, Small Sword, Small Crossbow.

AFTERWORD!
I hope you enjoy ROLF. I'd love to hear any comments you have about ROLF, be
they good or bad. Who knows? There might just be a ROLF AT SEA net.freebie ready
to be released. And it may just have more Stuff, more Combat Maneuvers, more
Character Traits, and rules for how characters should handle the phrase: "Hello
Sailor."
In the meantime, however, if you liked ROLF, and would like to take a look at
a slightly more complex roleplaying game from the same twisted minds that
brought you this one, I direct you to the ftp site "wais.com." There you can
find NUELOW, the net.freebie that makes no claims to greatness--other than
possibly being the silliest universal roleplaying game ever devised. Get your
copies now, and gather some friends, because NUELOW will soon be popping up in
the newsgroups again with all new supplementary material...

L.L. Hundal (GolemGirrl@aol.com)

The New One To Blame

Conversion from .txt to .pdf by Jason Patterson 2007

Martin Van Helsing (Order #14973537)