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2 Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018
Page 3
JEWISH
JEWISH
STANDARD
STANDARD
MARCH
JULY 6, 2017 3
3, 2018
Noshes
‘Why, why, why, why would you call camp to tell
them that I’m not wearing glasses? The yoetzet
pulled me out of sha’at menuchah so that she could take a
picture of me to show you that I’m wearing my glasses.’
- Universal, meet specific. Writing in Kveller, Rachel Mann quotes from her 11-year-old
daughter’s letter home. (Translation — a counselor pulled her from her rest period.)
BUGGED:
Want to read more noshes? Visit facebook.com/jewishstandard California-based Nate Bloom can be reached at
Middleoftheroad1@aol.com
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Rabbi Kaunfer, who wrote the book
or 10 years, Rabbi Dan Ain has “Empowered Judaism: What Inde-
tried to take Judaism out of pendent Minyanim Can Teach Us
the synagogue. about Building Vibrant Jewish Com-
He’s convened Friday night munities,” said. “Having a building or
prayers in auditoriums with musicians like a permanent space is not an ideologi-
Matisyahu and Lisa Loeb. He’s held Rosh cal step. It’s a practical step.”
Hashanah services in a bowling alley/con- Earlier this year, Hadar created a
cert venue. He scheduled an interview ear- Lisa Harris Glass Dan Ain Sharon Brous Elie Kaunfer formal nonprofit board and member-
lier this month at an artisanal coffee shop ship structure based on either annual
in Brooklyn and showed up in a T-shirt and began about 15 years ago, when some Jew- “We’re really a question-driven and dues or a certain amount of volunteering.
backward baseball cap, his long hair spill- ish groups that thought the synagogue idea-driven community. The building is It has been meeting weekly in the same
ing out of the sides above his long salt-and- was not responding to their spiritual and just driving us to ask these questions with space, the Solomon Schechter School of
pepper beard. ritual needs began forming. The groups greater urgency.” Manhattan on West 100th Street, since
Rabbi Ain was ordained, he said, each were different, but they shared a few When Ikar was founded in 2004, it held 2011. Although most of the people who
because he felt like the synagogue model themes: They did not have a permanent events and services in cafes, bars, and came to services and helped run it were
was old and tired. Just this month, he physical space; they did not affiliate with private homes; it focused on drawing in recent college graduates, now Hadar is
compared the typical American Satur- a Jewish denomination; and they did not unaffiliated Jews. Ikar remains unaffili- creating more structured children’s pro-
day morning prayer service to “a Civil charge annual membership dues. While ated but is now constructing its own build- gramming. That includes paid babysitting
War reenactment. some were founded by rabbis, others ing. Rabbi Brous is also leading the com- every week, a regular children’s service,
“They’re dressed in the right clothing, were proudly lay led. Many, though not munity’s second annual mission to Israel and early dinner for kids when the com-
they’re saying the same words that were all, were created by alumni of Conserva- — a staple of traditional synagogues. Ikar munity meets on Friday nights.
said in 1863 in exactly the right ways,” tive institutions. employs a large staff for its services, pro- But the new board president, Emily
he said. “But there’s no stakes involved, Some, like Rabbi Ain’s Brooklyn orga- grams, and preschool. Scharfman, notes that the group still does
there’s no danger in their hearts. And for nization, Because Jewish, which was It also has joined with six other inde- not have clergy or paid staff of any kind.
a lot of people services can feel like that.” founded in 2015, were successful. pendent communities (including one “Kehilat Hadar is deeply interested in
Which is why it may be surprising that Among the most well-known of them, Renewal Judaism congregation) to form feeling like a permanent davening com-
this week, Dan Ain will become the pulpit Manhattan’s Kehilat Hadar, one of the first the Jewish Emergent Network. The net- munity,” she said, using a Yiddish word
rabbi of a Conservative synagogue in San independent minyanim, is in its 18th year, work — which includes Romemu and Lab for prayer. “I think that’s fundamentally
Francisco that was founded nearly a cen- and its founders are among the thought Shul in Manhattan, and congregations and deeply important to all of us here. I
tury ago. leaders of a wave of traditionally commit- from Seattle to Chicago to Washington, don’t think wanting some kind of perma-
To Rabbi Ain, it’s not a contradiction. ted egalitarian Jews. Ikar, a Los Angeles D.C. — is not a traditional movement like nency and routine is the same as the old-
He is proud of the independent Jewish community, is 14 years old. Its rabbi, Sha- Conservative, Reform, or Orthodox Juda- fashioned synagogue model.”
programs he built in Brooklyn and down- ron Brous, gave an invocation at President ism, Brous says. Its member congrega- Back in northern New Jersey, where there
town Manhattan. But as he’s had kids and Barack Obama’s second inauguration. tions differ in ideology, but collaborate have not been many examples of the kind
watched the world change since 2016, he But those once-scrappy initiatives are on fundraising and resources. And Ikar in of synagogue-less minyanim that Rabbi Ain,
says that he recognizes the need for stabil- adopting traditional trappings. Ikar has particular, she says, is still defined by the Rabbi Brous, and their peers have created,
ity, a reliable community, and, yes, physi- a building, like other large Jewish houses ideas and priorities that animate it, not by but where many people have ventured
cal permanence. of worship. Hadar just instituted mem- where it meets. across the George Washington Bridge to
An organization that holds Shabbat ser- bership and a board. Rabbi Ain has left “What we learned early on is that a lot of sample Hadar, Romemu, and LabShuls,
vices with the lead singer of Guster may his organization for a pulpit. The lead- the successes and best practices of how to Lisa Harris Glass, the Federation of North-
create a moving musical experience. But ers of these communities say the move engage people in Jewish life were inacces- ern New Jersey’s chief planning officer, lis-
Rabbi Ain knows that you can’t count on it toward institutionalism isn’t a betrayal of sible or missing,” Rabbi Brous said. “Peo- tened to the story with complete aplomb.
if you have to say Kaddish. their founding principles, just a necessary ple are even more desperate to find a way “I wasn’t at all surprised,” she said.
“I was always in the back of my mind response to what their organizations or for their Jewish tradition and faith com- “I would go so far as to tell you that I
desiring of a community in which I could they themselves need. munity to help them make sense of what expected it.”
have a shiva minyan for people,” he said. In other words, the synagogue is dead. it means to be an American, to be a Jew.” Why? “Because I don’t think that the
“The ability to do stuff over a long period Long live the synagogue. One of the founders of Hadar, Rabbi Elie synagogue model is broken. I think that
of time is something I haven’t had the “When we started, it was a scrappy Kaunfer, says that it makes sense that older we fail to work the model.”
opportunity to do because everything I’ve startup, and I can no longer describe it independent communities look for per- What does she mean?
been doing goes up and comes down.” that way,” Rabbi Brous, who was ordained manence as they expand. In many cases, First, she said, when we look at the
Rabbi Ain is one of several pioneers of at the Conservative Jewish Theological he says, young prayer groups don’t have state of synagogues today and analyze
independent Jewish communities who Seminary, said of Ikar. “People ask me, a building not for ideological reasons, but it, “we should insert the Chabad factor
have, in one way or another, inched back in with a building, aren’t you going to be a simply because they cannot afford one. as well.” Chabad often does very well;
the synagogue model they once rejected. regular synagogue? And I’m not worried “Having a building is about the bene- their synagogues, built on a very differ-
The informal model he represents about it at all. fits of having a space you control, which ent model than the standard suburban
one, flourish in the suburbs. To do so, Center in Orangeburg, N.Y. those places.” shutting down comes from Makom, an off-
they attract some formerly unaffiliated The problem, she suggested, is There is some irony in alternative min- shoot of a Dallas Conservative synagogue,
Jews, but they also appeal to Jews who “because, I think, there are many yanim needing more traditional space, Congregation Shearith Israel. Makom once
had been paying dues elsewhere. instances where we have professionalized because in a way it is so predictable, she counted 1,500 participants — a large num-
“We often hear that ‘Chabad is poach- and sanitized the synagogue experience — added. There are many stories of so-called ber for an indie minyan in a midsize Jewish
ing our members,’” Ms. Glass said. “That and it should be anything but. So when we library minyamin, alternative minyans community like Dallas. Makom was active
they’re taking ‘our people.’ My response start with rules and regulations, when we that meet in shul libraries, at the same from 2012 to 2015, and met for services in
to that is that people have free will, and start with money, which is how most start time that the main service goes on in the a loft space wallpapered with whiteboards
if they are choosing to go elsewhere, they their relationships, it doesn’t go well.” A sanctuary. “The story is that the minyanim that attendees were free to draw on before
really weren’t yours to begin with. relationship that starts by telling you how grow and grow and grow. There is singing. the davening began.
“So how do these things” — the rise of much money you will owe, and only after It is very freilich. Differences with the synagogue led to
alternative minyanim and their growth that’s out of the way goes on to discuss “What happens is that people start to Makom’s folding, and its founders, Dani-
into space-seeking organizations, and “you, and your Jewish journey, and what get older. They have kids. Now they want elle Rugoff and her husband, Rabbi David
Chabad’s growth in the suburbs — “corre- place God has in your life,” is not likely to to have a bar or bat mitzvah, but the space Singer, moved to San Diego, where he is a
late? It speaks to working the model. succeed, she said. is too small. So now the library minyan Hillel rabbi. But Ms. Rugoff says they are
“What is attractive about these alterna- “When you are single and you meet a wants to take over the sanctuary. They exploring a return to Dallas, where they
tive minyanim and the Chabad houses of prospective partner, you do not say ‘Hi! want — maybe they need — the accoutre- could re-create Makom as a fully indepen-
worship? I think that there is an authen- Will you marry me?’ You expect that you ments of a more traditional space, which dent organization.
ticity in mission and action. That what will get to know that person, you will come involves, you know, a mortgage. And “There’s nothing out there for Conserva-
you feel in these types of institutions is to care about one another, first. Most syna- then the whole financial picture changes, tive Jews that was relevant and compelling,
what many people don’t feel in tradi- gogues do it the other way around. because then your need does. that also was a space where Jews by choice,
tional synagogues. “It’s ‘Hi! Will you member me? Will “So hopefully they don’t lose that which Reform Jews, interfaith couples, where
“I say many, not all, because you can you give me money so we can enter into makes them less traditional, even though people could come in and be able to really
point to many examples of thriving tradi- a relationship where I hope we will get they really do have to have a more tradi- witness and feel a Judaism that was closer
tional synagogues,” Ms. Glass said. Choos- to know each other and care about each tional dues conversation. to something that they would practice,”
ing to mention nearby institutions that other and live in sacred community with “We don’t know yet, one way or the she said. “Talking about big ideas and the
still are outside the federation’s catch- each other?” other, how they will work out,” Ms. Glass value of life and everything else Judaism
ment area, she cited Manhattan’s Congre- The conclusion she draws, Ms. Glass concluded. “But I was not surprised at all can offer is something people want.”
gation B’nai Jeshurun and Park Avenue said, is that “the model isn’t broken. to hear about these changes.” For Rabbi Ain, the choice to move from a
Synagogue, Congregation Agudath Israel We know that there are places where it An example of how institutional con- bowling alley to a bimah is partly practical
in Caldwell, and the Orangetown Jewish is thriving. There just aren’t enough of cerns can lead to a successful prayer group See Synagogue page 35
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I
for what one person could do and can
f there is to be any hope for peace, inspire others to seek ways to bridge the
the late Stephen P. Cohen believed, impasse,” Dr. Ruskay said.
it would have to come from human Dr. Eva Fogelman, a Manhattan-based
relationships. From people talking to psychotherapist who specializes in trauma
each other out of the hot glare of the public in general and the trauma of second-gener-
eye. From backchannel diplomacy, because ation Holocaust survivors in particular, also
that allows a degree of honesty, of genuine sits on the advisory board for the Stephen
connection, that more open and therefore Cohen fund.
more theatrical communications do not. Dr. Cohen changed her life, Dr. Fogelman
That’s why his family set up the Stephen said.
P. Cohen Seekers of Peace Fund at the She remembers the first time she saw
New Israel Fund. Last week, the Cohens him. It was in 1972, at a conference of the
announced the fund’s first grant, for Network of Jewish Students, an activist
$20,000, which will go to a Jerusalem-based group that was both very much of its time
project called “Lowering the Walls.” Dr. Steven Cohen meets with Anwar Sadat in Alexandria in 1978. and very, well, Jewish. “I remember that
Dr. Cohen — who was born after the official program was over, a whole
in Montreal and taught in such Mr. Netanyahu accused scale, and so the Cohen funds it receives bunch of people got together in one of the
institutions as Harvard, where he the NIF of being anti-Israel can make an actual, noticeable difference rooms — it was a very dingy room, some-
earned his doctorate, and who and blamed the organiza- for the children with whom the program where in New York,” she said. “He was pon-
created and ran the Middle East tion for the reaction to his works. The program brings Arab and Israeli tificating about vocation versus avocation. It
Institute for Peace and Develop- back-and-forth decisions kids together; because it’s about build- always sort of stuck in my mind.” Dr. Cohen
ment at CUNY’s Graduate Center on expelling migrants.) ing bridges, the activity to which Stephen always did have strong opinions.
— lived in Teaneck for decades. “There isn’t such a cul- Cohen devoted his life, and also about edu- Later, Dr. Fogelberg moved to Cambridge,
He and his wife, the Jewish edu- ture of philanthropy in cation, which has been the propelling force where Steve and Elaine Cohen lived; they
cator Elaine Shizgal Cohen, were Israel as there is here,” she behind Elaine Cohen’s decisions, it seems were active in the same political and egalitar-
active members of Congregation added; that makes the new a perfect way for Dr. Cohen to help Dr. ian religious groups and came to know each
Beth Sholom there. Dr. Cohen NIF donors even more wor- Cohen’s memory flourish. other well. She remembers that “Steve had
died in January 2017. He was 71. Elaine Shizgal Cohen thy of note. (NIF officials John Ruskay is the executive vice president a shortwave radio, so when the Yom Kippur
Now, Dr. Cohen’s widow — also estimated that some 95 per- of UJA-Federation of New York and a decades- War broke out in October of 1973 we would
called Dr. Cohen — along with their three cent of the Israelis who gave in response to long friend of both Steve and Elaine Cohen. listen to the news.” Steve and a friend, Bill
daughters, his brother, her brother, and some Mr. Netanyahu’s comments were first-time “We were part of related communities Novak (who went on to write books about
others, created the Stephen P. Cohen Seekers NIF donors.) that were trying to renew Jewish life, from Jewish humor) put together a newsletter
of Peace Fund. The fund, according to its mis- “The NIF works in the areas of human the early 1970s onward,” Dr. Ruskay said. called the Mideast Probe, Dr. Fogelberg
sion statement, was founded to further Ste- rights and democracy, shared social and “I was involved in the New York chavurah recalled. “Then a whole bunch of us who had
phen Cohen’s understanding that “the best economic justice, and religious freedom,” movement, and he was in Chavurat Shalom cars would deliver them to influentials in the
approach to resolving conflicts among and Dr. Cohen said. “So we decided to look at in Boston. We were both involved in Jewish neighborhood.” Those so-called influentials
between parties locked in political, cultural, initiatives for strengthening democracy. educational renewal. included such New York Times columnists as
and religious disagreements is through direct Those are areas where we knew that Steve’s “We have been doing this for a very long Anthony Lewis, and the information in the
communication and face-to-face dialogue.” friends and relatives would be happy to time.” newsletters in fact occasionally did surface in
The fund is not a foundation. It’s com- make a donation.” He describes his friend Steve as someone Lewis’s columns. “Most people did not have
plicated to set up a 501 (c ) (3), Dr. Cohen Elaine and Steve had three daughters, whose work was both invaluable and hid- shortwave radios,” Dr. Fogelberg pointed out.
learned, and if she and her board had Tamara, Ayelet, and Maya; Tamara and den. “Steve was a pioneer in recognizing the “One of the things that Steve always said is
done that, they would have had to send Ayelet both are rabbis. They also have five urgent need to reconcile Israelis and Pales- that information is power.”
out their own requests for proposals, grandchildren. The family and friends tinians,” Dr. Ruskay said. “From the mid When Dr. Fogelberg worked on the doc-
and then evaluate the responses, and the on the advisory board, each of whom 1970s on, he devoted so much of his life to torate, Dr. Cohen was her advisor. “He was
whole proposition “seemed overwhelm- is extremely well connected in the Jew- working with the highest officials of govern- a major influence in my life, intellectually,
ing.” So the fund had to become part of a ish world, “set up a designated fund, and ment on both sides. He did much of it totally personally, socially,” she said. “He always
larger organization. “We looked at the New through outreach, we have raised $132,000 privately — it was backchannel diplomacy. was a feminist in his outlook, and in those
Israel Fund,” Dr. Cohen said. “I wanted to in the United States, and about $5,000 in He also supported people-to-people endeav- days we had very few religiously committed
find a project that really reflected Steve’s Canada,” Dr. Cohen said. She jump-started ors, which led to greater understanding.” Jews who were feminist.
values, and his approach to working on the fund with a gift, and then approached He remembers a story about his friend “We did not know about all his activi-
conflict resolution. I also wanted to find many of her husband’s friends, students, Steve. “There was a crisis in Beirut, and he ties,” she added. “We didn’t know about
an area where our friends and relatives, and colleagues. They were generous. simply went to Beirut and started walking. his meetings with people like Arafat. He
across a fairly wide spectrum from liberal The goal is to give away about $30,000 “He wanted to find Arafat.” That was Yasir kept them quite secret. We knew that he
to progressive, would be comfortable.” in grants for five years. “It is a spend-down, Arafat, the head of the Palestine Liberation was doing things, but we didn’t know what
(The family has few friends or relatives to not a foundation,” Dr. Cohen said. The Organization; the crisis was the siege of he was doing.
the right of center, she clarified.) advisory board plans to give away another Beirut, which ended in Arafat’s expulsion “I am just one person whose life Steve
In making the choice of the New Israel $10,000 this year; it has not yet started to from Lebanon. Dr. Ruskay doesn’t remem- influenced in a major way,” Dr. Fogelberg
Fund, Dr. Cohen said, she knew that she decide where the money should go next ber the specifics of the episode; what he concluded. “He believed in me, and what
was picking a group that had been the tar- year, but Dr. Cohen is fairly certain that it remembers is his friend’s irrepressible it was that I could do — and that changed
get of “attempted vilification. But it is really will go to different groups. chutzpah — and seemingly contradictory my life.
doing well, and the recent attacks by Prime Lowering the Wall, which will receive but nonetheless enormous capacity to “So this advisory board now is trying
Minister Netanyahu resulted in 3,000 new $20,000 from the fund, is an anti-racism keep secrets, if bridges could be built on to make sure that the work he started will
Israeli donors to the fund.” (In early April, program based in Jerusalem; it’s small those untold truths. continue.”
T
how it’s going and suggest prompts for
hree inaugural local programs conversations.”
have won Women’s Initiative Another in-person session is planned
Challenge Grants from the on the question of how to give and receive
Orthodox Union. The grants effective feedback at work. The third ses-
are earmarked to support the spiritual, sion will feature breakout discussion
religious, and communal growth of Ortho- groups on issues such as work-life balance,
dox women. ethical dilemmas, and practical advice
The Summer Women’s Beit Midrash about modest dress, behavior, and kashrut
(Congregation Keter Torah, Teaneck), in the workplace.
Women’s Professional Mentorship Pro- “Our shul is growing rapidly; currently
gram (Congregation Darchei Noam, Fair we have about 135 member families and
Lawn), and Women’s Institute of Learning the majority of the women work profes-
and Leadership (Congregation Shomrei sionally,” Ms. Donath said. “Even if women
Torah, Fair Lawn) are among 16 innovative are reaching or past retirement age they
programs in 11 states selected from a field could serve as mentors. We’re also open to
of 93 applicants. stay-at-home moms mentoring each other.”
Gail Stechler, a member of Keter Torah, She said the OU grant “will allow these
explained that she and fellow congregant women to feel connected and empowered
Yael Landman participate in many of the in a way that they haven’t before.”
shul’s existing learning programs. They Dr. Adina Shmidman, founding direc-
wanted to offer a more intensive text-based tor of the OU’s Department of Women’s
option for women on summer evenings, Initiatives, which was launched this year,
COURTESY OU
geared particularly for teenagers return- said that the challenge grant “captures
ing from gap-year programs in Israel that the positive energy of so many commu-
devote many hours to deep textual study. nities. Once these programs are piloted,
Twice-weekly classes in Jewish law Rena Levin of Teaneck, left, and Shoshana Charnoff, an educator from the OU’s they can be offered widely in other com-
and Talmud will be offered for beginners JLIC program, work together at a women’s learning event at Queens College. munities so that they too can benefit
and advanced learners during the Three from the wisdom and experience of suc-
Weeks — the semi-mourning period that “It’s always been on my mind that couple’s intimate life — is using the OU cessful initiatives.”
begins with the fast of the 17th of Tam- there is something we could do more for grant to create the Women’s Professional Applications for the challenge grant
muz on July 1 and ends with the fast of women,” she said. “I had different types Mentorship Program to begin in October. were evaluated based on the creativity of
the 9th of Av on July 22 — taught by three of ideas and the OU challenged us to “We are always trying to come up with the proposed program, the target audi-
female teachers engaged specifically for think about this with our collective wis- new and innovative programs for the com- ence, and whether the project could be
the program. dom as women.” munity,” Ms. Donath said. “We already replicated in other communities.
In addition, the Summer Women’s Beit Scheduled to start in the summer or provide women’s leadership and learning The Women’s Initiative ran a Shavuot
Midrash at Keter Torah will arrange evening no later than the High Holiday season programs. In general, there’s a lack of pro- speaker series for women and by women
study partners for women who may be stu- in early fall, the Women’s Institute of fessional mentorship opportunities, par- in member shuls across North America;
dents or professionals, as well as one-on- Learning and Leadership is designed to ticularly for women, and Orthodox women many of those shuls had not ever hosted
one tutoring for girls 10 years old and older. tap into existing talent in the 300-family have unique challenges in the workplace. women educators in this capacity. Upcom-
Tutors will be eligible to receive a stipend. synagogue to enhance the Jewish study So we wanted to put a religious spin on a ing programs include a multi-city training
“We’re trying to expose women to opportunities and personal connections professional development program.” course to sensitize mikvah attendants to
areas of learning which the shuls in of girls and women. Those unique challenges can include, medical and mental-health needs, an eve-
the community do not usually offer to “A lot of people don’t have the capabil- for example, how to handle a project dead- ning of spiritual inspiration between Rosh
women,” Ms. Stechler said. “We also ity to learn interactively, perhaps if they’re line that coincides with a two- or three-day Hashana and Yom Kippur, and the cre-
wanted to give women an opportunity to confined to the house or working full Jewish holiday when the woman will not ation of the Women’s Impact Institute, a
teach as well as learn.” time,” Dr. Markowitz said. She also envi- be at work; how to deal with the expecta- leadership training program.
The program is free of charge and open sions mentoring relationships between tion of attending a business conference “For more than a century, the Orthodox
to the greater community. younger women or girls and older women. that takes place on Shabbat; and how to Union has addressed the religious and spir-
“If there is enough interest in beginners “I think there will be an undercurrent answer interview questions about Sabbath itual needs of the American Jewish com-
Talmud, we may continue it throughout of empowering leadership informally, and and holiday observance. munity,” the OU’s president, Moishe Bane,
the year,” Ms. Stechler said. we hope to have formal leadership train- “We’re planning to have three ‘See You said. “Ever-changing circumstances and
Congregation Shomrei Torah is launch- ing for different ages as well,” she contin- In Person’ meetings throughout the year, challenges, however, compel the ongoing
ing the Women’s Institute of Learning and ued. “We’ll start in our own shul commu- in which we’ll bring in professionals who exploration of new approaches to advance
Leadership, promoting multifaceted pro- nity, with a core group, to pilot different have expertise in a certain area,” Ms. Don- our connection to God, both as individuals
gramming for girls and women of all ages, aspects of the program, so that we can ath said. and collectively as a community.
including a mentorship program, a bat monitor that it’s making the impact we “Our first speaker will talk about what “We therefore feel particularly privileged
mitzvah program, and virtual learning in want it to. Eventually we could open it up a mentorship relationship is on a prac- to be partnering with women of extraordi-
both class and study-partner settings. to a lot of people.” tical level, and will give a survey to the nary vision and commitment from across
Dr. Sara Markowitz, clinical psychologist Shira Donath, wife of the rabbi of Con- women in our program to match up men- the community, to pursue exciting and
and the wife of the shul’s rabbi, conceived gregation Darchei Noam and also its tors and mentees based on skills they want innovative initiatives seeking to enhance
of the program “with an amazing group of yoetzet halacha — a certified adviser in to improve or are strong in. We’re hop- the religious and spiritual growth of the
women.” laws and practices relating to a married ing these mentor pairs will speak once a contemporary Jewish woman.”
Scholarship awardees
Lauren Cohen, So-
fie Kravitz, Rebecca
Brandon, Dina Gelsey,
Deanna Javer, Tal
Kamin, and Nicole
Matanov. Melanie
Leider is not pictured.
NCJW BCS
From left, Schwartz Realty’s President Moshe Schwartz; Meilech Weber, CEO of
OJBA; Ezra Friedlander, CEO of the Friedlander Group; Yossi Menczer; NJJBA’s
NCJW honors future leaders
executive director David Rosenberg; Maksim Sheyn, senior vice president of At a recent board meeting of the Bergen HS/Ithaca College) received the Zimmer-
Investors Bank; Joel Epstein, COO of Fabuwood; Ari Stahl, vice president of Gel County section of the National Council man Family Scholarship. National Coun-
Spice; Nathan Herzog, president of Royal Wine Corp.; Phillip Goldschmiedt, CEO of Jewish Women, eight graduating high cil of Jewish Women Bergen County Sec-
of Poly-Version; and Abe Rosenberg, vice president of US Chocolate Co. school seniors were awarded $1,000 tion Scholarships were given to Nicole
college scholarships. The students were Matanov (Academies at Englewood/
North Jersey Jewish Business Alliance chosen based on their academic records,
in recognition of their leadership accom-
Occidental College) and Melanie Lieder
(Ridgewood HS/Middlebury College).
meets with Washington officials plishments in school and community, Evalyn Brownstein, the scholarship
During the NJJBA’s day of advocacy, lunch included Leonard Lance (R-Dist. 7), and their commitment to Jewish values. committee co-chair, presented the
members met with Senator Cory Booker, Tom MacArthur (R-Dist. 3), Josh Gottheimer Marjorie G. Aerenson Memorial Schol- awards. “Among the scholarship criteria
praised NJJBA members for employing so (D-Dist. 5), and Bill Pascrell (D-Dist. 9). The arships were awarded to Rebecca Bran- were each candidate’s academic record,
many workers. He talked to them about group also met with staff for representa- don (Westwood Jr./Sr HS/ Brandeis Uni- meaningful participation in school and/
soon-to-be established opportunity zones, tives Bonnie Watson Coleman (D-Dist. 12), versity) and Deanna Javer (Mahwah HS/ or community activities, and financial
new business incentives in low-income Donald Norcross (D-Dist. 1), Chris Smith Adelphi College). Lauren Cohen (Pas- need,” she said. “This year’s recipients
neighborhoods that help to create jobs. (R-Dist. 4), and Frank Pallone (D-Dist. 7). cack Valley HS/Tufts University) was the raised the bar in every way.”
The group also met with Senator Menen- Nathan Herzog, president of Royal Kabakow Family Scholarship awardee. Other committee members included
dez’ senior staff at the Senate Hart Office Wine Corp., who was the NJJBA’s mission Dina Gelsey (Northern Valley Regional Grace Fuld, Phyllis Grossman-Kaplan,
Building to talk about transportation, co-chair, summarized the day in Washing- HS/ University of Rochester) received the Peggy Kabakow, Elizabeth Warms, Hen-
trade, and taxes. Members thanked Mr. ton: “Seeing the high regard that the Alli- Wolfeiler-Simon Scholarship. Tal Kamin rietta Wolfeiler, and Nanette Matlick, the
Menendez for his advocacy for New Jersey ance is treated with by the highest levels (Bergen County Academies/University of other co-chair. For more information on
and its Jewish citizens. of government is a testament to the strong Michigan) earned the Bach Scholarship. NCJW BCS, go to www.ncjwbcs.org or
The group had lunch with members of unified voice that the NJJBA created.” He Sofie Kravitz (Northern Valley Regional call (201) 385-4847.
New Jersey’s delegation to the U.S. House added, “If you are not a member of the
of Representatives, where the conversa- Alliance yet, this is the time for you to sign
tion centered on challenges facing New up to have us assist you at the local, state
Jersey businesses. Representatives at the and federal levels of government.”
Teaneck Norpac meeting
hosts Senator Robert Menendez
Drs. Esther and Mort Fridman hosted a
AJC global forum Norpac meeting featuring U.S. Senator
Robert Menendez, Democrat of New Jer-
in Jerusalem sey, at their Teaneck home.
The American Jewish Committee’s annual Senator Menendez chairs the Senate
global forum was held in Jerusalem this Foreign Relations Committee. He was
year in honor of Israel’s 70th anniversary. the first New Jersey Democrat to oppose
More than 2,400 AJC members, including the Iran deal in 2015 and has been a
400 college students, met at the Interna- co-sponsor or co-author of most major
tional Conference Center to listen to many bipartisan bills on American security
leaders, including Israeli Prime Minister funding to Israel and Iran sanctions.
Benjamin Netanyahu; Sebastian Kurz, Aus- Discussing moving the U.S. Embassy
tria’s federal chancellor; Boykin Borisson, in Israel to Jerusalem, Menendez said:
the Republic of Bulgaria’s prime minister; “The opening of the U.S. embassy in Jeru-
Tzipi Levni, co-leader of the Zionist Union, salem is grounded in the conviction that Dr. Mort Fridman, left, with Senator
and Miss Israel and Miss Iraq. Participants in the AJC Global Forum the U.S. should recognize the historical Robert Menendez. COURTESY NORPAC
AJC is the leading global Jewish advo- in Jerusalem included Dov Wilker, the Jewish connection to Jerusalem. Over
cacy organization. Locally AJC has two executive director of AJC Atlanta, and two decades ago, U.S. law established the relationship. He said that fringe elements
offices — in its New Jersey and Rockland/ his mother, Simone Wilker of River location of the U.S. Embassy in Israel, a within the party would not change the
Westchester/Fairfield regions. Its national Vale, representing AJC New Jersey. law that I voted for. This move was never dialogue on Israel in Congress as long as
headquarters are in Manhattan. PHOTO PROVIDED a matter of if, but when.” pro-Israel advocates continue their work
During the meeting, Senator Menen- on Capitol Hill.
dez was optimistic about U.S. relations Senator Menendez has been in Con-
with Israel, and that the Democratic gress for 20 years and is up for re-elec-
party would continue to support the tion in November.
P
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Representative Josh
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from left, Phil Cohen,
Dr. David Green, and
Sarah N. Stern.
PHOTO PROVIDED
VALLEY CHABAD
Representative Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ Dist. a nuclear-armed Iran.
5) was awarded the Speaker of Truth award “For 70 years, the unbreakable bond
by the Endowment for Middle East Truth. between the U.S. and Israel has been
Sarah N. Stern, EMET’s founder and rooted in our shared values of freedom,
Chabad women’s group goes president, and Dr. David Green, who
chairs its executive committee, presented
democracy, and the rule of law,” Mr. Got-
theimer said. “It is now more important
to Lubavitcher rebbe’s grave in Queens Mr. Gottheimer with the award for his than ever for members of both parties,
On June 24, Hindy Drizin, back row left, led a group from Valley Chabad’s Women’s “continuing excellence in standing up for to remember our ally Israel’s strate-
Circle to the ohel (gravesite) of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Shneerson, the Lubavitcher Israel and speaking the truth about the gic importance to our country. EMET’s
rebbe, in Queens. He died 24 years ago. Middle East.” In Congress, Mr. Gottheimer efforts to recognize and inculcate strong
Throughout Jewish history it has been the traditional custom to pray at the gravesite has led several bipartisan initiatives to support for Israel, on both sides of the
of the righteous to beseech the Almighty for blessing. The visit was a time of spiritual strengthen U.S.-Israel bilateral missile aisle, demonstrate the organization’s
connection, blessing, and renewal. For more information, go to valleychabad.org or defense cooperation, combat the boy- ongoing commitment to strengthen-
call (201) 476-0157. cott of Israel, and help protect both the ing the historic bipartisan relationship
United States and Israel from the threat of between our two countries.”
Emeth congregants
rally for change
Rabbi Steven Sirbu, front left, along with Temple Emeth
in Teaneck members who participated in the Humanity in
BARBARA BALKIN
Support of Families Belong Together rally at the Glen Rock
Borough Hall on June 30.
Rabbi Chaim Bronstein, left, with the dean of RIETS, Rabbi Menachem Penner; Evan Genachowski; Matthew LeVee; Daniel Reich; Judah Kerbel; Jonathan Drory;
Yechiel Neuburger of Teaneck; Dr. Norman Blumenthal; Rabbi Neal Turk, the mashgiach of the semicha program and director of the RIETS/Ferkauf program; Profes-
sor Laura Turk; Dr. Arlene Steinberg, and Dr. Rosalyn Sherman. COURTESY YU
present
Serving the Jewish community
of Bergen County for 12 years
organizing humorist and
All certified home health aides
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licensed, bonded and criminal
background checks
JulyHourly,
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Jamie travels between her offices in New Jersey and California
Linkages
presenting programs to other
on how elder care and de-clutter. She has been
to de-stress
options
seen on QVC, HGTV, Better TV and writes for Reader’s Digest on line.
When not on the road, Jamie is searching for a cure to her addiction to
clipping1.866.7FREEDOM
recipes she never prepares. She will share:
(1.866.737.3336)
• What to keep
www.freedomhh.com
• What to toss
• What to share or sell
and how to let it all go
run, don’t walk, to this workshop and learn how to get organized
and clutter free. after her hilarious presentation she will be
signing her book “keep this toss that” for all who purchase one.
RSVP suggested
Shelley Edelson 201 836-7474 or Redelson@ 5ssl.com
Jewish Standard JULY 6, 2018 13
Cover Story
‘Masala
Mamas’
Dr. Elana Sztokman’s
book of Indian recipes and
stories is full of Jewish values
JOANNE PALMER —well, that’s what was underfoot. “He
T
wanted to get them out of the sewage
here is almost nothing overtly and into class.
Jewish about the book called “He started working with NGOs” — non-
“Masala Mamas.” governmental agencies — “and he found
The book called “Masala that he had to provide them with food.
Mamas” is a deeply, overwhelmingly “It’s very simple,” Elana said. “If
Jewish book. schools provide food, the children will
Both these things are true at the same go to school.” Once they’re in school,
time. they can eat — and once they’re not hun-
How can that be? gry, they can learn.
“Masala Mamas,” written by Brook- “Literacy is everything. A kid who
lynite-turned-Israeli Elana Sztokman, is has literacy and math skills and some
a cookbook featuring kosher vegetarian English has opportunity. That changes
Indian recipes. It’s an art book, full of everything. It changes their whole life
lusciously, extravagantly colorful pho- trajectory.”
tographs of food and the women who Just as Jacob was realizing that the
create it. And it’s a storybook, telling the most productive thing he could do
tales of those women’s lives. would be to get children food in their
The Masala Mamas are Indian women schools, “he met a group of women who
who moved from villages to a massive were looking for an enterprise. It was a
slum called Kalwa, itself a tiny part of the good shidduch.”
massive city of Mumbai. They’re all poor So Gabriel Project Mumbai “out-
and uneducated, at least if you count sources the project of feeding the kids,”
only formal education; they’re all rich in Elana said. “We pay the women to do it.
life experience and knowledge. They do all of it.” They make the meals,
These women take care of their fami- and they deliver them. Altogether, she
lies, and then they come to a central said, they feed about 1,000 3- to 14-year-
kitchen in Kalwa to prepare meals for olds in the three schools that Gabriel
schoolchildren. Project Mumbai runs every day.
That’s all local. Dr. Sztokman is a writer and anthro-
They’re funded by a group called pologist; she’s also “a supportive
Gabriel Project Mumbai, founded by spouse,” she said. Just as the women’s
Dr. Sztokman’s husband, Jacob Sztok- need for work and the children’s need
man. Jacob was a high-tech marketer in for food came together, so did her back-
2012, when he went to India and was ground and talents.
affected by what he saw there to the She’s written three books; “The Men’s
point where he could not let it go. “So Section: Orthodox Jewish Men in an
he started the organization to help the Egalitarian World” won the National
kids he saw; to help fight child labor Jewish Book Council award for women’s
and promote education. studies in 2012, and the next year her
“Jacob found kids working in sew- “Educating in the Divine Image: Gender
age,” Elana said; she meant that literally. Issues in Orthodox Jewish Day Schools”
Children had to work if they and their won another award from the council,
families were to eat, and the sewage this time for education and identity.
“There are a lot of Jewish organizations that talk the on global Jewish needs and international humanitarian
Jewish talk about social justice, but this is the only one issues,” its website tells us.
running programs that actively engage on that issue. “It sends dozens of volunteers from all around the
When we were opening a new building, and he affixed a world and exposes these young Jewish adults to the issues
mezuzah on our door. of global poverty, global hunger, global malnutrition, and
“We bring Jewish volunteers to work,” she continued. child labor,” Dr. Sztokman said. “We are the gateway for
“They’re with JDC Entwine.” That’s the American Jewish young Jewish adults who want to get firsthand experience
Joint Distribution Committee’s Project Entwine, a “one- understanding these global issues.
of-a-kind movement for young Jewish leaders, influenc- “The Jewish volunteers come from around the world,”
ers, and advocates who seek to make a meaningful impact she added. “From every continent.
“But we don’t want to overemphasize the Jewish con-
nection,” she said — but she said so reluctantly, and only
after being pressed to expand on the Jewish connection.
“We don’t want to say ‘Look how great we are!’ We want
to say ‘Look at how great these women are.’ That’s why we
did the book the way we did it.
“We don’t want to be insensitive to them. We don’t want
to be the great white Jewish saviors, coming in to rescue
them. That’s why we play ourselves down.”
And that’s because she, like her husband, like Gabriel
Project Mumbai, exemplify not only the Jewish value of
tzedaka — of giving charitably, both of tangible objects
and of your time and energy and love — but also of tzniut.
Of modesty. That’s a value often thought to be connected
only to physical presentation, but also has to do with the
less tangible refusal to show off and preen.
In “Masala Mamas,” the very Jewish Elana Sztokman
expresses that Jewishness by providing the Indian women
whose work and love suffuse the book to define that Jew-
Jacob and Elana Sztokman ishness for and with her.
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JEWISH STANDARD
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Cover Story
License #AL10577
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I
t has become a staple of his stump speeches to audi-
ences in Israel and abroad: Far from being isolated
politically, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu
argues, Israel is forming new and stronger alliances with
a host of countries around the world.
In recent years, Netanyahu has either visited or hosted Pres-
ident Vladimir Putin of Russia, Prime Minister Viktor Orban
of Hungary, and President Ilham Aliyev of Azerbaijan, among
others. Netanyahu plans to host Orban in July and Filipino
strongman Rodrigo Duterte in September.
Netanyahu touts these leaders’ support for Israel in inter-
national forums. But critics say he is cozying up to authori-
S aam m yy’s’s fied, “should not be conflated with the alliance that it “Israel has long, and justifiably, considered itself part
S m m shares with the United States that is based on values.” of the club of democracies, as an expression of its self-
Critics of the outreach say it is coming at a time of identification as a Jewish and democratic state,” Shapiro
resurgent right-wing nationalism, and that Israel is on said. “Today, as a wave of illiberalism challenges the dem-
North Jersey’s Premier Italian the wrong side of a history that usually has worked ocratic world — from America to Europe to Israel itself
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18 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 6, 2018
Jewish World
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CHEMI SHALEV
HAIM ZACH/ISRAELI GOVERNMENT PRESS OFFICE
Jewish Editor
Joanne Palmer
Correspondents
Warren Boroson
Advertising Coordinator
Jane Carr
Production Manager
Jerry Szubin
Founder
Morris J. Janoff (1911–1987)
Standard Associate Editor
Larry Yudelson
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Editor Emeritus
Meyer Pesin (1901–1989)
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for desire.
Heinz Ketchup is essentially tomato sauce. But e always arrive just before sunset.
they make it pasty just to ensure that you wait. The streets are blocked off by police
Remember the commercials? “Anticipation…”. Porn, cars, the red and blue rollers producing
with its instant gratification, paradoxically makes sex their own light show. People in shorts
a complete bore. and t-shirts and flip-flops saunter down the patchwork of
Which leads me to an essential point. Men who are streets that filter into the park. Strings of party lights criss-
y porn addicts are fundamentally bad lovers. For sex cross decks and backyards, music shifting like stations on
. to truly be exciting it requires novelty. Married cou- a radio as we pass each home. People carry folding chairs
ples find novelty in new adventures together, going out to their front yards, or to the strip of grass by the curb,
vertically — deeper and deeper into the human per- bantering with their neighbors while they wait for the sun
, sonality — in order to find newness. But porn addicts to go down.
simply look at new bodies. They discover the same There is already a crowd at the park, but there’s nothing
old boring porn routine — not to mention the same to worry about, the field is wide, room enough for every-
t sexual positions — played out by new actors. (This, one. We choose a spot, unfold our chairs, and settle in. A
too, my friends have told me.) They are not chal- Sousa march drifts towards us from somewhere. By this
, lenged to discover vertical renewal, substituting it time, the sky is deepening from aqua to Prussian blue, the (The State Department rejected her family’s immigra-
instead for horizontal renewal, the lazy man’s solu- air heavy and warm. Swallows and cicadas streak over our tion applications again and again. My grandfather was
k tion to the problem of sexual boredom. As such, they heads. Barefoot children, too excited to sit, run in circles a leather craftsman, my grandmother was in business.
become fundamentally bad lovers. over the grass. Kids wearing glow stick necklaces whirl Okay, okay, so her business was trading on the black
Which leads to my conclusion. Men are not sup- toys that light up in all the colors of the rainbow. market. You do what you gotta do.) Having been exposed
posed to be experts in the female body, just as Finally, the blue fades to black. Somewhere to the best and the worst people can be,
t women are not meant to be experts in the male body. in the dark, we hear the pop pop pop of far- she had a surprisingly liberal outlook on
Rather, upon exposure to the body of the opposite away fireworks. The towns around us already almost everything. She befriended all kinds
have begun. Without warning, a rocket zings of people from all walks of life. She learned
f overhead, leaving a trail of fizzy sparks, and how to cook tuna noodle casserole, chow
just when I think it’s a dud, it bursts like an mein, and meat loaf, drove carpools, built
. artillery shell, illuminating the sky with a snowmen, and drilled us on our multipli-
Overexposure shower of golden glitter. cation tables. Though English was not her
- breeds boredom The first fireworks I ever saw were first (or second) language, she volunteered
D
octors often say that high blood mental health challenge. These illnesses do was suffering from depression and could not get out of bed,
pressure is the silent killer. Sadly, not discriminate between religion, color, or from OCD, or was hoarding, or perhaps was unable to leave
I think a new illness has claimed sex, or race. Depression is the most notable the house because she needed to have exactly 14 steps to get
that moniker — mental illness. of those conditions, but I have seen my share to the front door and she could not seem to get the cadence
Robin Williams hanged himself, and then of paranoia, obsessive compulsive disorder, for that exact walk down. Or if she were afraid to go out of the
Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain commit- anxiety, and bipolar disorder. All of them are house for paralyzing fear. Would we respond in the same way?
ted suicide in the same week, proving that rampant in communities like ours. The differ- Are we still whispering the names of these conditions, and
depression is not limited to the underprivi- ence between these illnesses, and say, cancer, keeping a distance as if they were contagious?
leged and that mental illness is as indiscrimi- is that we still seem to whisper when someone We build walls around mental illnesses to keep ourselves
nating as the weather. Rabbi is suffering from mental illness disorders. We away from them, out of fear of catching it or simply of being
My brother committed suicide, which David-Seth cover them up for fear of being outed. We are near it. That only makes the disease more acute for the
makes me all too familiar with the unending Kirshner petrified that we will be stigmatized as crazy afflicted, and creates a vicious downward spiral for those
wake of pain, hurt, questions, and what-ifs and we will be only a step away from having working toward healing.
that survivors are left with after the irrevocable Nurse Ratchet overseeing our daily activities. Judaism is not immune to suicide. Six biblical characters
deed is done. Nothing good comes from taking your own With cancer, though, we feel empathy in a different form, take their own lives, some from despair, others from sad-
life. Perhaps we can hope that the afflicted are free from the and respond in a more hands-on manner. ness. Whether it is Abimelech, Samson, Saul, Ahitophel, or
burdens, struggles, and challenges that are invisible to us A member of our community recently was diagnosed Zimri, we know that this epidemic is not new. It is high time
but inescapable for them. with breast cancer. Our community jumped into action. for us as a Jewish community to address this topic. The rab-
Still, suicide leaves more questions than answers, more Some volunteered to help with her kids’ carpools, another bis of all denominations even stopped burying the victims of
pain then relief, and more tears, and those tears do not was deputized with shopping and household errands, while suicide in separate parts of the cemetery, claiming that such
diminish with time. a Google sign-up sheet was created to keep straight who will a death is a result of an illness.
If anything positive can come from these deaths of well- keep her company during chemo treatments and who will Now it is time to go further.
known personalities, I pray that it will shine a light on the organize meals and delivery of said meals for her family. As In order to bring more hope to the afflicted and to curb the
serious nature of mental illness and how pervasive it is in a rabbi, it made me proud to see our synagogue commu- prevalence of suicide, we need to adjust how our communi-
our society. nity respond without missing a beat. It was beautiful, empa- ties deal with mental illness. I suggest the following steps:
As a congregational rabbi with a unique peephole into thetic, humane, and the core of what we do as a place of • Don’t whisper about mental illness. The strides the LGBTQ
people’s families and lives, I can claim with certainty that worship and as a people. community achieved came as a result of people being bold
almost every family has someone who is suffering from a I wonder, though, if the same person were to say that she enough to come out and share their identities and story. We
F
ollowing Justice Kennedy’s retire- while too many otherwise liberal Jews seek drugs. The Greens argued that providing such insurance
ment from the Supreme Court, the domination. would violate their religious liberty, and therefore they
continued viability of Roe v. Wade Americans seeking traditional religious lib- requested a religious liberty-based exemption.
has dominated the headlines. Amer- erty exemptions do not wish to impose their The Greens did not argue that abortion-inducing drugs
ican Jews are overwhelmingly pro-choice, and views on their neighbors. Religious liberty should be outlawed, that their employees should be pro-
many if not most want the courts to uphold a protections allow for the creation of a neu- hibited from buying such drugs, or that the government
constitutional right to abortion under nearly tral space, one in which citizens with differ- could not require other employers to purchase such insur-
any circumstance. ing viewpoints can coexist without trampling ance. The Greens made a much more modest claim: they
In what should amount to a surprising twist, on each other’s beliefs. Laws like the Religious should not be required to participate in a process that they
some have argued that overturning Roe would Mitchell Freedom Restoration Act merely state that considered sinful.
threaten Jews’ religious freedom. Rocklin whenever possible, the government must The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby, find-
Their argument goes like this: In some cir- exempt religious adherents from laws that ing that the government had not proven that exempting
cumstances — namely when the life or health conflict with their sincerely held beliefs. employers with sincere religious objections would prevent
of the mother is in danger — Jewish law may Exemptions are not mandatory or auto- it from achieving its goal: ensuring that women had access
permit or even require a mother to procure an matic; if a religious exemption would prevent to the drugs in question. The law continued to apply to
abortion. Thus, bans on abortion could, in the- the government from accomplishing a com- the vast majority of Americans, and the government was
ory, prevent women from terminating a preg- pelling mission, then no exemption is granted. free to fill the gaps through other methods. The court con-
nancy in a case where their religion obligated Religious liberty laws do not prohibit the gov- cluded that since both the Greens and their employees
them to do so. Let’s ignore for a moment the ernment from enforcing a law against most could be protected, an exemption was appropriate.
fact that the overwhelming majority of abor- Americans; they simply require exemptions The same is true for a long list of other individuals who
tions are not performed to save a mother’s in cases where the law would put an intoler- have brought traditional religious liberty claims. People
life, and that any abortion regulation would Howard able and unnecessary burden on religious like Native American feather dancers who want access to
include an exception for such cases. Instead, Slugh people. For instance, prisons are not required eagle feathers, Amish people who want to homeschool
let’s focus on the ways in which this argument to accommodate religious practices if doing their children, Muslims who want access to halal food in
stems from a distorted understanding of reli- so would be unsafe for inmates. If the govern- prison, and Sikhs who want to wear turbans in the mili-
gious freedom. ment can both achieve its goals and protect Americans’ con- tary are not trying to impose their faith on anyone. All of
The irony of this particular pro-choice argument is that science rights, then it must do so. In a very real sense, then, them merely are trying to observe their religions in peace.
liberal Jews are advancing it even as they are quick to religious liberty laws protect pluralism and demonstrate a This brings us back to abortion. Too many Jewish pro-
accuse traditional proponents of religious liberty of live-and-let-live attitude. choicers have, on the other hand, demanded a blanket
seeking to impose their religious views on America. In The Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby case illustrates this constitutional right to abortion in virtually all circum-
truth, traditional proponents just want to be left alone. It principle. The plaintiff, an arts and crafts store named stances. They insist upon such a permissive abortion
has been secularist Jewish organizations that have joined Hobby Lobby, which is privately owned by the Green family, regime because, in some circumstances, Jewish law
non-Jewish colleagues in seeking the hegemony of their sought an exemption from a regulation requiring employ- may permit or require a mother to procure an abortion.
moral values. Traditionalists request accommodation, ers to provide health insurance covering abortion-inducing But they are not arguing that they would need specific
have embraced breast cancer patients with pink hamburger?” Being present will not cure mental
ribbons, annual walks, and a month of pink end- illness any more than carpools cure cancer. But
zones in the NFL. So too do we have to come out your presence and support matter.
about mental illness and embrace those who are • Know the numbers. We are not miracle work-
stricken. Drawing near to those with health chal- ers or magicians. We cannot make the disease
lenges and making Google spreadsheets for meals go away, but we can help. Sometimes, the illness
and carpools are no less important for the person needs more resources then a Google spreadsheet
suffering from depression as it is for the person can offer. Know the numbers of suicide preven-
receiving chemo. Sicknesses might present differ- tion hotlines. Keep the numbers of accredited
ently, but being ill takes all of us off our game. We psychiatrists close, to be able to offer the support
all can benefit from help. That comes from being that is beyond our grade of expertise. Do not try
able to say in a full-throated way that we are sick, to wear a cape or offer simple solutions and solve
battling a mental illness, and need help, or that we the problem.
are helping someone with a mental illness. I would do almost anything for another day with
• Mental illness needs a ribbon too. I am not sure my brother. I cannot bring him back. I can do my
what colors are available. Orange is for gun con- part, however, to ensure that others do not have
trol, purple is sexual abuse awareness, and yellow to suffer the pain I live with daily. This starts with
is for our soldiers and those who are MIA. Perhaps recognizing the affliction and being supportive any A boy from Honduras is shown being taken into custody by U.S.
gray, but the color really does not matter as much way we can. Border Patrol agents near the U.S.-Mexico border near Mission,
as being able to wear our awareness on our pro- Try these small steps. Make your life and our Texas, on June 12, 2018. John Moore/Getty Images
verbial sleeve. Let’s talk about it more freely, and world a place where all can feel it is worth living
create awareness and support.
• Mental illness is not contagious. We have to
in. Together, we can support those with a men-
tal health affliction and bring more awareness to A history of
stop treating it like the cooties. Do not be afraid to
help those in need, get close to them, and be the
those in need.
Let us act before it is too late. our border crisis
T
support they desperately require and will benefit
from in this time of need. Equally important, do David-Seth Kirshner is senior rabbi of Temple he separation of chil- bond to secure their release.
not wait to be asked to help. Be proactive. Sheryl Emanu-El of Closter, immediate past president dren from their parents Around the same time, the Clin-
Sandberg says that the best support she received of the New York Board of Rabbis, and the at our border has a long ton administration reached the
after her husband’s sudden death was someone president of the North Jersey Board of Rabbis. and nebulous history. now-famous Flores agreement in
asking her, “what do you NOT want on your What makes the situation so con- a lawsuit with plaintiffs who chal-
fusing is that it doesn’t involve any lenged the legacy-INS’s child deten-
single law so much tion policies. The
as a series of inter- terms of the Flores
related laws, judicial agreement became
decisions, and policy nationwide policy. It
religious liberty-based exemptions from an pregnancy centers into advertising for state-sub- changes over 20 years mandated the trans-
abortion ban. Nor are they arguing that a state sidized abortions; and a cake artist into custom- or so concerning the fer of unaccompa-
may achieve its goal of protecting the life of the izing a celebratory wedding cake for a same-sex admission and deten- nied minors from
unborn, so long as it does not unnecessarily wedding despite his conscientious objections. tion of asylum seekers Customs and Border
infringe on their religious beliefs. Quite the con- These religious individuals were not discrimi- at the U.S. border. Protection to Health
trary. They are arguing that the Supreme Court nating against anyone nor interfering with any- The story begins and Human Services
should maintain that all Americans have a right one’s ability to procure goods or services, which in 1996 with the pas- Michael J. within 72 hours and it
to abortion to prevent the remote possibility were readily available from other sources. But sage of the last major Wildes set limits on how long
that laws prohibiting abortion might, occasion- this was not good enough. Supposedly tolerant immigration law, the such children may
ally, interfere with their religious beliefs. organizations insisted that these conscientious Illegal Immigration remain in jail — usu-
This maximalist argument is a distorted fun- objectors participate in a secular agenda or be Reform and Immigrant Respon- ally 20 days.
house mirror version of that made by traditional crushed by the law. sibility Act (IIRIRA, pronounced Despite the humane treatment
religious liberty proponents. Whereas the tra- As we debate the next Supreme Court nomi- “Ira-Ira”), which created two sets the Flores agreement afforded to
ditionalists ask for an exception and peaceful nee and consider how American law ought to of rules concerning the detention minors, the overwhelming majority
coexistence, some otherwise liberal Americans protect religious liberty, we ought to pursue two of those seeking asylum. The first of immigrants at the time could not
demand that the entire country be governed broad and interrelated goals. First, when pos- set of rules governs the detention avail themselves of its terms. Most
by their religious dictates, with no exceptions sible, American law should accommodate those of so-called arriving aliens, non- border-crossers in the 1990s were
allowed. This despite the United States being an who wish to practice their religion. Second, citizens who present themselves at adult males seeking U.S. employ-
outlier in allowing for abortions in virtually all we should attempt to build a society in which a U.S. port of entry. If they pass a ment so they could send money
cases, including, for instance, those involving Americans of all types can live in harmony. credible fear test — that is, a series back to their families. Compared
horrific pain to unborn babies. This includes promoting a healthy democ- of questions testing whether they to today, very few people brought
Ironically, the very same Jewish organiza- racy by allowing perfectly reasonable debates meet the basic eligibility require- their children. That was due in part
tions demanding that the law follow their reli- about changes to our abortion laws that would, ments for asylum, such as a fear to the dangerous conditions at the
gious views on abortion have accused tradi- if anything, bring them more in line with those of returning — then arriving aliens U.S.-Mexico border.
tional proponents of religious liberty of wanting in other Western nations. are provided a hearing before an Most of these policies remained
to impose their religious views on the nation. immigration judge. Importantly, relatively static during President
Sadly, groups like the American Jewish Commit- Rabbi Mitchell Rocklin is a resident research they are not eligible for release on Bush’s administration, save for
tee and the Anti-Defamation League side with fellow at the Tikvah Fund. He is also a chaplain bond, however, even by an immi- the 2008 reauthorization of the
those whose policies would rob Jews of the abil- with the rank of captain in the New Jersey Army gration judge. Trafficking Victims Protection Act
ity to practice their faith freely should it fall out National Guard and a doctoral candidate in U.S. Different rules apply to aliens (TVPA). One of its key provisions
of favor with the mainstream. history at the City University of New York. He apprehended farther than 100 included streamlining the rules for
It is these opponents of religious liberty who lives in Teaneck with his wife and two daughters. miles from the border or within the obtaining permanent residency
have tried to impose their views on America. interior of the country. Like arriv- for children whom a family court
They have tried to coerce: Catholic nuns and Howard Slugh is the general counsel of the Jewish ing aliens, these people also are judge has deemed abandoned,
evangelical pharmacists into providing abor- Coalition for Religious Liberty, as well as an provided a hearing before a judge, the so-called “Special Immigrant
tion-inducing drugs; religiously affiliated crisis attorney practicing law in Washington, DC. but unlike them, they can request See Border page 32
S
ince my retirement (It’s not an ugly up somewhat on uncompleted New York
word, Ernest, despite your letter of Times crossword puzzles; and starting to go
1/5/18), the two most frequent ques- to morning minyan twice a week in addition
tions I’ve been asked are (a) are you to Shabbat and yom tov (I know, I know, it’s
enjoying it and (b) what are you doing with no big deal but it’s better than my previous
yourself? no times a week).
While the answer to the first is short and And, oh yes, actively participating in the
sweet (absolutely!!), the answer to the sec- preparation for my daughter Gabrielle’s wed-
ond is a bit lengthier. ding to Allen Glenn, which took place two
What I’ve done so far during this suppos- Joseph C. weeks ago.
edly initial decompression period includes Kaplan I always thought I had participated actively
(and this is only a partial list): joining a gym in the preparation for my daughter Raquel’s
with my wife (and actually using it), trying wedding almost 14 years ago. I now realize,
hard to do my daily 10,000 steps (record to date is 18,988 however, that as a busy practicing lawyer I didn’t really
— if I’d known I was so close I would have made sure to understand what was encompassed by preparation. Now
do 12 more), and participating in the men’s weekly physi- — after attending every (yes, every!) meeting or visit with
cal fitness class at Teaneck’s Rodda Senior Center; taking every potential (and then actual) caterer, wedding venue,
online courses at the Tikvah Fund with Meir Soloveitchik florist, and printer; after driving to Brooklyn more times
(“Jewish Ideas and the American Founders” — quite good in the past six months than in the past 16 years; after being
though I had expected even better) and at the Harvard the designated driver for many mother-of-the-bride gown
Extension School (“World War II and Society in the 20th shopping trips and all bridal gown and mother-of-the-
Century”), attending a number of excellent daytime pre- bride gown fittings in Manhattan and Brooklyn (some-
sentations at Lamdeinu (and I plan to continue to fre- body had to sit waiting in the car since legal spots are so
quent this worthwhile Teaneck program), and continuing hard to find and parking garages are prohibitively expen-
to look for a daytime shiur/class that meets my interests sive in New York City); after visiting more gemachs than
(unfortunately, I didn’t meet certain basic requirements I knew existed, covering everything anyone might need
to join Rabbi Adler’s Women’s Humash class); listening to for a wedding from blusher veils (yeah, I never heard of
numerous audiobooks (usually while walking or exercis- them either) to hair combs to wedding shtick for danc-
ing and thus getting double my money’s worth, or, if you ing to Sheva Brachot flowers; after reviewing, and often Joseph Kaplan and his daughter Gabrielle dance to
consider I listen at double speed, quadruple); catching See Ani ledodi page 36 what the family calls the Rainbow Song.
Letters
Don’t compare immigrant compare the atrocities committed to the Jews then with Prouser’s right about Sessions
separations to the Holocaust the current events? Rabbi Joseph Prouser, a serious student of American his-
I am writing in response to recent comparisons made in By doing so not only are these media outlets minimiz- tory, has hit one out of the park in his piece about Attor-
many media outlets between the immigration crisis and ing and belittling Nazi atrocities, they are sending a mes- ney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions (“Biblical ref-
the Holocaust. I sympathize with the separation of the sage to the world that our country is guilty of annihilating erence by Sessions is malign in every respect,” June 29).
children from their mothers and agree that measures innocent men, women, and children for no reason, as the Rabbi Prouser points out the basis of our Founding
should be taken by both parties to ensure a resolution as Nazis did. If only the men, women, and children of the Fathers’ view of the Bible — one that is counter to Ses-
quickly as possible. Holocaust would have received the same treatment as cur- sions’ interpretation. America, at its beginning, was right
However what these media outlets are doing is ethically rent illegal immigrants and children. in sync with the distrust of absolute monarchy reflected
and morally wrong. They are comparing the current immi- My parents are alive and fully aware of the immigration in the Israelite experience. From Samuel on down, the
gration crisis to the Holocaust . As the daughter and grand- issues . My father just turned 90 and my mother is 84. king was always to be regarded with suspicion.
daughter of Holocaust victims and survivors from Buchen- Both are very independent and active members in their Selective citing of biblical references is nothing new.
wald and Auschwitz I am outraged. The illegal immigrants community in Queens. They are also outraged. They have In fact, it is endemic not only in America, but also
and their families were not forcibly thrown out of their to live with the horrible memories of the atrocities from among Islamic jihadists who cite sections of the Koran
homes by the United States, placed in cramped cattle cars 1939 through 1945, when they were liberated. Their par- to justify their violence and terrorism. So AG Sessions
without food and water, and sent to fake showers, real gas ents were murdered in front of their eyes. Their brothers, finds himself in some odd company.
chambers, and ovens to be cremated. Many during the sisters, cousins were sent to gas chambers. The majority I too wish to contribute a biblical citation. In last
Holocaust were separated from their parents to be exter- of our family in Poland was wiped off the face of the earth week’s Haftarah portion, the words of Micah were read.
minated. While the conditions in the detention centers are by the Nazi atrocities. They were not buried. They were He was one of the 12 minor prophets. The reading con-
not idea , I am sure they are far better than those offered cremated. How do you think they feel? cludes with a famous statement on morality and God
to the children in the concentration camps in Europe dur- The journalists and those guilty of making these com- (Micah 6:8): “It has been told you, O man, what is good,
ing WWII, when six million Jews were murdered, extermi- parisons owe an apology to every Holocaust survivor as and what the Lord requires of you/Only to do justice,
nated for no reason other than being Jewish. well as to every mother, father, and child brutally mur- And to love goodness, And to walk humbly with your
The Jews did not voluntarily run to these concentra- dered by the Nazis. Shame on them for comparing the God.”
tion camps. There were no classes, movies, or doctors, atrocities committed by the Nazis with the current politi- If Jeff Sessions and his boss would like some different
not enough food or water for those who were kept alive cal situation of the illegal immigrants and children. bedtime reading, I suggest that the Prophet Micah would
in the camps. What about all the photos the liberat- If you don’t agree with the policies find some other way be a good place to start.
ing armies took of the survivors and how they looked to protest and stop making this irrational analogy. Eric Weis
in the concentration camps? What about the piles of Dr. Renee Reifer Fishweicher Wayne
corpses stacked on top of each other? How could anyone Fair Lawn See Letters page 36
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Tzvee Zahavy has been a professor of advanced Talmud, halachah and Jewish law codes,
The Dear Rabbi column offers timely advice based on timeless Talmudic
Jewish liturgy, Jewish history, Near Eastern and Jewish studies, and religious studies at
wisdom. It aspires to be equally respectful and meaningful to all varieties
major U.S. research universities and seminaries. He is a prolific author who has published
and denominations of Judaism. You can find it here on the first Friday of the
numerous articles and books about Judaism and Jewish texts. He received his Ph.D. from
month. Send your questions to DearRabbi@jewishmediagroup.com.
Brown University and his rabbinic ordination from Yeshiva University. Go to www.tzvee.
com for details.
P
arshat Pinchas is a very problem- not wipe out the Israelite peo- father’s condemnation of it. lived through a number of other periods of
atic section of Torah for me. It is ple in my passion. Say there- In noting that the Torah text darkness, when political leaders and large
the climax of not only the Book fore, I grant him my ‘briti sha- defends Pinchas’ action, my numbers of the electorate have been con-
of Numbers but of the entire wil- lom,’” which JPS translates as brother asks, How often do sumed by fear, greed, and ignorance and
derness epic of Israel. Before the text goes my pact of friendship, rather any of us justify our words turned away from the ideals of our nation.
into the festival calendar of sacrifices we than its literal meaning, peace. and deeds by saying that we And then we have seen a correction that
find a narrative that seems to note the con- The text continues: “It shall are doing the only thing pos- has put our nation back on track toward the
clusion of the Israelites wilderness epic. be for him, Pinchas, and his sible to save our community, ongoing creation of a society based upon
In Numbers 27:12 we read: “Adonai said descendants after him, a pact of our family, or our country? the ideals of our founding documents.
to Moses ‘ascend these heights of Abarim priesthood for all time, because Rabbi Neal I. How often do we use some As American Jews we know this the-
and view the land that I have given to the he took impassioned action for Borovitz good reason to cloak our own sis to be true. In 1787, with the adoption
Israelite people. When you have seen it, you his God, thus making expiation Rabbi Emeritus ambition, our own self-will, of the Bill of Rights, the United States of
Temple Avodat
too shall be gathered to your kin as was your for the Israelites.” Shalom River Edge etc., to justify taking drastic America became the first nation on earth
brother Aaron. ….” I find these verses very Reform action? How often do we pub- to extend citizenship to Jews and guaran-
Moses’ response here, in verses 27:15-19, problematic for a 21st-century licize and magnify one bad tee freedom of religion for all. Conversely,
is very different from the one we will hear Jew. Numbers 25:10-13 can and thing that someone has done, we have a right to remind and remember
two months from now, when we read the has been interpreted by some as God’s com- and forget all the good that they do? How that the very same fears of immigrants
end of Deuteronomy. Rather than plead- mending Pinchas for his act of vengeance. often do we get even with another person, overrunning America today — that they’d
ing for his life, as he does in Deuteronomy, In the three previous verses of Torah that while proclaiming that we are doing these take jobs away from native Americans and
Moses acquiesces to the news that he too formed the maftir for last week’s Torah things in the name of God? change American culture — were heard
will die in the wilderness, asking God only reading, Pinchas, we are told, rose up from Truth be told, Pinchas can be a model for a century ago. The results of those fears
to insure communal continuity. “Adonai among the community and murdered an either or both, either a superhero who fights were the immigration laws of 1921 and
Source of the breath of all flesh appoint Israelite man. We learn this week the man for truth, justice, and the American way of 1924, limiting immigration from eastern
someone over the community who shall go was Zimri, who died with his Midianite con- life — or a terrorist. There have been years and southern Europe. Those barriers led
out before them and come in before them cubine, Cozbi. Moreover, for contemporary when I have read the story of Pinchas and to “no room at the inn” signs for millions
and who shall take them out and bring them Jews, our question is: What distinguishes condemned him. Yet there have been other of European Jews in the 1930s and 40s. We
in so that Adonai’s community may not be the Pinchas of this week’s Torah read- times when I have read this same story and in northern New Jersey can remember that
sheep that have no shepherd,” he pleads. ing from ISIS or Hamas terrorists or Yigal praised him. This year I find myself both these immigration quotas were ignored
Adonai answered Moses: “Single out Amir? Amir is the Israeli Jew who murdered embracing and wrestling with the Pinchas and refugee status was extended to more
Joshua ben Nun, an inspired man, and lay Prime Minister Rabin, justifying his action who is within me and the Pinchas-like fig- than 500,000 Jews from the former Soviet
your hand upon him. Have him stand before by comparing himself to Pinchas and Rabin ures who are all around me. Union in the period from 1980 to 2000.
Eleazar the priest and before the whole house to Zimri. In the contemporary world there When I listen to the zeal for vengeance on That granting of asylum was welcomed by
of Israel and commission him in their sight.” are far too many who, in the name of their our news channels, the hatred based on fear our community, and together with govern-
Finally, in verse 27:22 we are told, “Moses god, violate the fundamental precept You of the other that so many of our societal lead- ment support, and the funds raised by our
did just as God had commanded.” This bib- shall not murder that is at the foundation of ers use as a tool to retain power, I must say to UJA-Federation, thousands of those asy-
lical phrase, acknowledging obedience to Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. the Pinchas of our parasha: No! No, I cannot lum seekers were absorbed and integrated
God’s command is found first in Genesis, Every year when I read this parasha I justify or even condone your actions. Enough into our northern New Jersey community.
referring to Noah building the ark. Its repeti- ask myself: Where is the line between zeal with fear based violence! Every hateful action Moses is described for us throughout the
tion throughout the Torah is a way that the and zealotry? Is the cliché “might makes does not justify an equal opposing reaction. book of Numbers as a humble yet asser-
Torah expresses man’s obedient acceptance right” in fact an existential truth? Is Pinchas Is it not Pinchas-like zeal and self-righ- tive human leader. He gets angry and frus-
of God’s ultimate authority. praised here only because he is the high teousness on both sides of our political trated, but at the end of each conflict he
Juxtaposed with this narrative is the priest? Or are he and his descendants given divide here in America in 2018 that has led chooses the best possible direction to lead
story of Pinchas, the son of Eleazar and the the priesthood, as the Torah says, because us to the crisis on the U.S.-Mexican border his people. His leadership style is to be a
grandson of Aaron. Pinchas is praised for of his zeal for God? in the name of We the People of the United teacher who recognizes the human fears
zealously executing Zimri, an Israelite, and Pinchas is what my brother Rabbi Mark States? Where is the Aaron, whom our rab- and failures of the people and seeks ways to
Cozbi, a Midianite woman with whom Zimri Borovitz likes to call a truly “both/and” bis have characterized as the quintessen- overcome them. When he left Egypt there
apparently was going to have intercourse at character. tial peacemaker? Where is the Joshua who was an erev rav — a mixed multitude — who
the Tent of Meeting. In his book “Finding Recovery and Your- can lead us in a battle for security while joined in the Exodus. Moses didn’t ask any-
The text in Numbers 25:10-13 reads: “Ado- self in Torah,” Mark writes of this Pinchas- simultaneously teaching us to live in peace one of them for birth certificates. He asked
nai spoke to Moses saying: Pinchas ben Elea- Zimri confrontation by noting that Zimri is a with people with whom we differ politi- them only to pledge their allegiance to God.
zar, ben Aaron, the priest, has turned back descendant of Shimon and Pinchas of Levi. cally and ethnically? Are there not some salient messages in
my wrath from the Israelites by displaying He recalls the story of their conspiratorial In his new book, “The Soul of America,” this narrative from Numbers for 21st century
among them his passion for me, so that I did act of vengeance against Shchem and their Jon Meacham points out that America has America and for Israel as well?
has this city attained such glory.’ That was my message three decades cannot predict the future. But we should
Dear Rabbi “‘And so that is what I shall add as I ago. Today, we witness the embassy move not ignore the present.
FROM PAGE 26
conclude my lamentations on Tisha B’Av and the amazing infrastructure changes, So I’m not quite ready to abolish Tisha
with God’s help, but in accordance with this year. I shall be cheerful this year, and including a modern light rail, and new B’Av, but surely I would recommend
our own will and with our own hands, we I will not mourn. But I shall do so silently, buildings and businesses and population that we modify the liturgy we recite so
have raised Jerusalem beyond its highest because this is my own private devotion. growth and so much more in Jerusalem. that it describes present day Jerusalem
heights. Never before in all of our history Will others join me?’” We must not ignore the past and we more accurately.
Freaky Friday —
camp version
T
he movie Freaky Friday was Which can border on creepy, but you
quite clever. are getting your money’s worth, no mat-
For those of you who never ter what you need to do!
saw the original 1970s ver- Back to son #1’s first summer in sleep
sion — Jodie Foster plays the daughter. away camp…we got to the bus and
In the remake, which came out in 2003, learned that his counselor was also the
Lindsay Lohan plays the daughter. The bus counselor. So, what is a crazy par-
mother and daughter magically switch ent to do? Well, you start talking to the
places, so the daughter takes counselor. Telling him
on the mother’s persona how special your kid is.
and the mother takes on the How it is his first summer
daughter’s persona, thereby away from home and that
learning what it feels like he should be sensitive to
actually to be in the other that. How he is a picky
person’s shoes. eater, so please make sure
It was very entertaining, they find something for
heartwarming, blah blah him to eat. How it is hot
blah. Wouldn’t it be nice if out, so please make sure
that happened in real life? Banji he drinks. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Well, to an extent it does. Ganchrow Keep in mind this coun-
For those of you with selor is all of 17 years old.
children and for those of Keep in mind that the
you who have been fortunate enough counselor is looking at you like you are
to send your children to camp — more nuts. Keep in mind that this counselor is
specifically sleep-away camp — Freaky hoping that if he keeps nodding, you will
Friday happens when your adorable think he is really listening to you and you
child, who once was a helpless camper, will tip him accordingly.
becomes the person in charge. The all- And then your kid becomes that coun-
knowing, all-responsible counselor. selor. And you wonder when that hap-
Across Down
I was thinking back to the first time pened. And you wonder how you ever
1. Forehead covering 1. “___ O’Riley” (song by The Who)
6. New School or Juilliard deg. 2. Ben Canaan and Gold son #1 went to camp. Husband #1 and thought that your kid’s counselor had
9. “Anything ___?” 3. It was turned to blood I brought him to the bus, all nervous as much power as you thought he did —
13. Sharon, of Israel 4. Ice cream, in Pisa about sending our precious firstborn off and now parents are thinking that about
14. Methuselah, for sure 5. Shrewd to a faraway land. A land where the only your kid. (Which, of course, he does,
15. Some take them on on Shabbat 6. Jupiter has many
form of communication was through because your kids are perfect.)
16. Madison Square Garden record holder 7. Escape (from)
18. “True ___” (2010 remake) 8. Bigotry-fighting org. letters. Handwritten letters. Do you Yup, that is Freaky Friday — camp edi-
19. On the Caribbean, e.g. 9. Planning to marry remember those? If you were a really tion. Or just plain freaky. When I took
20. Echad, at the Louvre 10. Comic behind the fictional musical diligent parent, you would mail some son #3 to the bus stop, where he was
21. “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” author “Fatwa!” letters before camp even started so there the bus counselor, he actually brought it
Eric 11. Exxon Valdez mishap
would be mail waiting for your child in up. How weird it is for him not being the
22. Cheap(er) B’way buy 12. Lauder of lipstick
24. Busy fabric pattern 17. Extend beyond (with “out”) camp. Now that is a good parent! camper any more, being the counselor
25. Awe 21. ___ella De Vil Handwritten letters came before the instead. It also is pretty funny that his
28. Used Elmer’s 23. ___ Maga invention of bunk notes. Bunk notes, for older brother, son #2, is his direct super-
29. NYC neighborhood of Cong. Kehilat 24. Assign, as a portion those not familiar with them, are emails visor, since he is the division head. As
Jeshurun 25. Big commotion
that you can send to your child and then the mom, I think it is just adorable that
30. “It’s been ___ pleasure” 26. You might take one on faith
33. Brides’ escorts 27. He played Apocalypse in “X-Men: those emails are printed out and deliv- one son is the other son’s boss.
36. The Kings, on scoreboards Apocalypse” ered to your child’s bunk. This was a But that is how life is. You go from
37. Flying Avenger...or experience in 28. Greek Earth goddess: Var. genius invention. A real money maker. being young to being old. You go from
the Bible given to the ends of 16 & 31. Early or late follower And now the camps have their own ver- listening to those older and wiser to
59-Across and 10 & 27-Down 32. Guessed amts.
sion of bunk notes. When you are a first- becoming the one who is older and
39. Go toe-to-toe 34. What Jews do after blessings on wine
40. Some Dead Sea locales and challah time bunk note user, you write to your wiser (in theory, not always in practice).
42. Washington, e.g. 35. Burn kid every night, trying to use every one And you hope that your kid’s counselor
43. One ___ million 38. Gingrich of Georgia of the characters allotted to you. As you knows what he is doing when your kid
44. Uses a star scale 41. Slowly enjoys food, to a Brit get older and more tired, you fall asleep has absolutely no clue.
46. A bird that walks in water 45. They may block or catch TDs
forgetting to write to your child, and as Don’t worry, if your kids are in my
48. Dieter’s cut of pie 47. Where Asteroids might be found
50. Tolkien title letters 48. Bug-hits-windshield sound a result, your poor kid ends up getting kids’ bunk, they are in good hands…
52. Mexican shekels 49. Israeli bank no emails for a week and then 14 emails
53. War stat. 50. Actor’s homework on the same day. Since you don’t want Banji Ganchrow is the mother of three
54. Blanchett of “Blue Jasmine” 51. Desk material, perhaps to waste the money you spent on these capable boys. In fact, she wishes they
58. Where to sing “Aloha Oe” 53. Pal, in Adelaide
bunk notes, you end up writing to your were as capable in private as they are in
59. Baseball’s homerun king, to purists 55. Met solo
61. Said in Hebrew? 56. Bugs or Mickey kids’ friends who are in the same camp. public. But that is for another column.
62. Noshed 57. Creatures in 50-Across
63. Imbecile
64. Behavioral quirks
59. Dad of Kylo
60. “First” or “Kool” ending
And then your kid becomes
65. 1980s video game console, for short
66. Academic heads
The solution to last week’s puzzle is that counselor. And you
on page 35.
wonder when that happened.
28 JEWISH STANDARD JULY 6, 2018
Arts & Culture
‘Bad Jews’ author talks about Jews (and other things)
Josh Harmon’s newest effort, ‘Skintight,’ also looks at Jews
CURT SCHLEIER he had loving grandparents. In fact, his
T
grandmother was in part responsible for
here was a substantial (and as his career.
might be predicted) negative “She took me to a lot of shows in New
reaction to a recent New York York and really encouraged me. She just
Times list of the 25 best plays died in April. She was sort of an Auntie
produced since 1993. No one was more Mame figure who would take me to wildly
outraged than the reader who argued that inappropriate museum exhibits and
because not one Joshua Harmon play was plays.” Among them (when he was just
included, the list “can therefore [exple- 10 years old): “Medea,” by Euripides, in
tive] right off.” which a scorned wife murders her succes-
I’m on the phone with Harmon, 36, to sor. ( Jodi, are you listening?)
discuss his new play, “Skintight,” and I men- Unlike “Bad Jews” his new work has no
tion this to him. “I did not see that,” he says, single starting point. “Bad Jews” had its —
adding, “but I assume it was my mother.” you should pardon the expression — gen-
It wasn’t mom, but rather a theatergoer esis in a Holocaust remembrance service
who recognized the seeds of greatness in while Harmon was in college.
Harmon. In just four productions, Harmon “Instead of having the survivors there,
has established himself as the Great Jewish it was the grandchildren speaking about
American playwright of his generation, in their grandparents,” he says. “But I found
the tradition of Neil Simon, Wendy Was- the experience much less moving than any
serstein, and Alfred Uhry. I mention this to previous ceremony. Something about that
him, too, and he demurs. Sort of. not being moving stayed with me. And
“It’s not something I aspire to,” he says. made me ask ‘What does it mean for my
“Not something I thought about a great generation to be inheritors of this legacy?’”
deal. I’m just trying to write plays I want to The play, which made stars of Tracee
see and those plays tend to include charac- Chimo and Ridgewood’s Michael Zegen,
ters from my background. I can’t say that was about a religiously observant woman
[I’m the Great Playwright]. fighting her secular cousin over a chai
“But I’m very happy to have someone necklace that their survivor grandfa-
else say that about me.” ther had managed to smuggle out of the
So I will. camps, a gift he wants to give to his non-
Harmon is known most Jewish girlfriend.
famously as the author of “Bad On the face of it, given its title and plot,
Jews,” an exploration of Jewish you’d think “Bad Jews” would be a niche
identity — more on that later. production, but it is one of the most pro-
“Skintight” asks the question, duced plays in the world, with lengthy
What is love? A brilliant Idina runs from England to Australia — places
Menzel plays Jodi Isaac, a mid- whose residents are unlikely to know
40s lawyer who flies to New much about Manhattan’s Upper West Side,
York from Los Angeles osten- where “Bad Jews” is set.
sibly to surprise her wealthy From left, Jack Wetherall, Idina Menzel, and Eli Gelb. JOAN MARCUS “I think the trick is to write very specifi-
father, Elliot ( Jack Wetherall), cally about a specific group of people, and
on his 70th birthday. hilarious — but it’s also sad, make friends. I don’t think Willie Loman that somehow taps into something that is
But she’s really made the Joshua Harmon and its major characters or Blanche Dubois are particularly likable. universal,” in this case “cultural assimila-
trip in search of familial sol- are not very likable. Elliot “To me, the point of a play is to see char- tion,” Harmon says.
ace; her 50-year-old former husband has is cold and self-absorbed. Jodi is needy. acters in difficult situations, see how they Still, Harmon was surprised by the
thrown himself and his 24-year-old girl- Her son, Benjamin (Eli Gelb), is the only navigate them and maybe empathize with play’s success. “It’s what you hope for
friend — Jodi had discovered them in her one who has a sense of his family’s history. them. My favorite plays are not about peo- when you set out. That you will be pro-
bed — an engagement party attended by He’s in Hungary, majoring in queer stud- ple I like, but people who intrigue me.” duced. On one level the success is bizarre.
all “my friends with my kids at my favorite ies, and he says: Still, a Jewish grandpa who doesn’t like I wasn’t prepared for it. I’m not sure any-
restaurant.” “I’m living in the place our family lived his kid or his kid’s kids? “I think there are one could be.”
But Elliot couldn’t care less about her or in for centuries and, I mean, if you want a lot of people like that,” Harmon says. “A On the other hand, it hasn’t reduced
his grandchildren. He’s more interested to see a Jewish name in Hungary you have lot of people who are unhappy with their his level of anxiety. “Anxiety is like a suit-
in his 20-year-old boyfriend, with skin to go to the Holocaust memorial.” Still, he parents and their grandparents. I know case you carry with you and periodically
so smooth “I’d like to sleep in a bed with comes off as foppish to the point of being that’s not true for all people, but I’ve seen unpack,” Harmon says. “Before ‘Bad Jews’
sheets made from” it. an almost offensive caricature. it through careful observation and in talk- it was will I ever have a production? Then
For the record, just because the play Getting theatergoers to like his charac- ing to friends and people I know.” it becomes about writing the next play.
questions the meaning of love doesn’t ters is not a priority for Harmon. “Likabil- But he did not experience that dys- How it will be received?”
mean that its author understands it. “I ity is not a question that interests me ter- function personally. On the contrary, he Sounds like the subject of a play about
don’t know that I have a clear answer,” he ribly,” he says. “I feel if you want to meet grew up in Westchester County in a com- this Jewish writer.
says. “That’s why I wrote the play.” likable characters you should go to a bar- fortable upper middle class, conserva- “Skintight” is at the Laura Pels Theater
“Skintight” is very funny — at times becue. I don’t think theater is a place to tive Jewish home; unlike poor Benjamin, through August 26.
m
i
f
Raising awareness of
postpartum depression
Arona Berow will tell her per-
sonal experience with post-
partum depression, and then
psychotherapist Marilyn Laves
will talk about the phenome-
non from a more clinical per- Four Tops Temptations PHOTOS COURTESY BERGENPAC
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42 JEWISH STANDARD JUNE 29, 2018
Solution to last week’s puzzle. This week’s puzzle is Synagogue permanent and more traditional space will not necessarily
on page 28. FrOM PaGe 7 have to mean letting go of experimental musical experi-
— fundraising was tough in Brooklyn — but it’s also ideologi- ences, or even sometimes meeting at a cafe in a T-shirt.
cal. He believes that by attracting a group of like-minded Rabbi Kaunfer also says that as some prayer groups have
young people, he was missing out on the sometimes diffi- become more like synagogues, synagogues have adopted
cult but also intricate mosaic of a typical synagogue com- practices and melodies pioneered by the prayer groups.
munity. People may not agree on everything and they’ll Others still dislike the idea of permanence. If the sec-
come from different generations, he says, but they will be ond iteration of Makom does end up happening, Ms.
there both for bar/bat mitzvahs and funerals. Today’s polit- Rugoff says, it will still appeal to people who are still
ical polarization has only reinforced that notion for him. looking for something other than what their parents’
“There’s a trend to silo ourselves,” he said. “I think there synagogue has to offer.
is a real reluctance for people to enter into synagogue life “I don’t think Makom would ever become a brick-and-
because of all of the meshugas that comes with commu- mortar synagogue,” she said. “I think we’re talking about
nity, all of the real intermingling of people and different people where the idea of membership doesn’t make sense
personalities. But the fragmentation leaves people isolated to them. I built a community I wanted to raise my family
and lonely.” in, and no matter where I go, I’ll be looking for that.”
Rabbi Ain sounds like Rabbi Brous as he says being in a JTA WIRE SERVICE/JEWISH STANDARD
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Remember why the refugees flee channels, and not from criminals, we will be complicit in darkness, poor street lighting, dark clothing and head-
The horrors occurring on our borders and beyond have the violence and crimes that propel these desperate men lights from oncoming cars created low visibility and sub-
the attention of the nation. However, one aspect has not and women and children to our border. sequently a dangerous environment for tragedy.
had enough attention. That is the relationship between It is high time that we legalized drugs and created a This isn’t a new issue in suburban communities, but I do
our decades-long failure to solve the drug problem and sane, legal way for addicts to obtain them. By doing so, not see many people actually wearing the reflector straps
our delegation to the criminals of the role of supplier. not only would we reduce the flow of refugees, but we offered by many synagogues. I didn’t notice one person
Our country casts a dark shadow on the Central Ameri- would greatly benefit both the people of Central America from the exiting crowd making use of these important
can nations from which these refugees are fleeing. It is and our own people. items.
our demand for illegal drugs that creates the criminal Norman H. Rosen One suggestion: Perhaps near the exit doors synagogues
syndicates that control the supply of drugs and therefore Englewood could provide a ready, permanent supply of a reflective
become so rich, powerful, and violent that no local gov- patch that could easily clip onto clothing. There may be a
ernments can control them. The helpless people at our Be careful walking home greater likelihood for people to take one and use it.
doorstep are our responsibility because their plight is from shul in the dark Some reminder for safer nighttime walking is especially
caused by us. A quick errand immediately after Shabbat had me driv- crucial during the warmer months.
Until we have a same drug policy under which Ameri- ing on local streets, passing people still walking home Susan Berger
can addicts can obtain their needed drugs through legal from synagogue. As I drove I was shaken to see how much Teaneck
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