6 To 12 Month Self Settling Guide 2017

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CLICK TO RETURN TO THE CONTENTS PAGE
CONTENTS
(Click on a section to go to that page)
CONTENTS ............................................................................................. 2
INTRODUCTION ................................................................................... 6
SLEEP HABITS AND ASSOCIATIONS .............................................. 8

SLEEP CYCLES EXPLAINED ......................................................................10
SETTING UP THE SLEEP ENVIRONMENT ...................................11

A DARK ROOM .........................................................................................11
WHITE NOISE ..........................................................................................12
BABY SLEEPING BAG/SLEEP SACK ..........................................................12
CUDDLY/COMFORTER ............................................................................14
PACIFIER ..................................................................................................15
SLEEP & STRESS HORMONES ........................................................16

MELATONIN (THE SLEEP HORMONE) .....................................................16
CORTISOL (THE STRESS HORMONE).......................................................18
OVER AND UNDER TIREDNESS.....................................................19

OVERTIREDNESS .....................................................................................19
UNDERTIREDNESS ...................................................................................20
BEDTIME ROUTINE............................................................................23
YOUR BABY WILL NOT SETTLE OR SLEEP IF: ...........................25
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ...............................................28
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CRYING ....................................................................................................29
NIGHT FEEDINGS ....................................................................................32
SLEEP ENVIRONMENT .............................................................................33
DISRUPTIONS TO TEACHING SELF-SETTLING ........................................35
MOBILE BABIES .......................................................................................36
SELF-SETTLING PROCESS................................................................39
INTRODUCTION .......................................................................................39
GLOSSARY/METHODS EXPLAINED ..............................................42
QUICK METHOD ................................................................................45

STAGE ONE: .........................................................................................46
LAY DOWN/CUDDLE TO SOOTHE AT THE START OF NAPS AND
BEDTIME ..................................................................................................46
STAGE TWO: ........................................................................................48
LAY DOWN/CUDDLE TO SOOTHE AT NIGHT WAKES ............................48
NOTES AND TROUBLESHOOTING ...............................................49
CRYING ....................................................................................................49
WHEN TO “GIVE UP” ...............................................................................50
THE LUNCH NAP.....................................................................................51
OVERNIGHT .............................................................................................52
FED TO SLEEP BABIES ......................................................................53

FEED TO SOOTHE METHOD ..................................................................53
STAGE ONE: .........................................................................................55
FEED TO SOOTHE AT THE START OF NAPS AND AT BEDTIME ..............55
STAGE TWO: ........................................................................................58
FEED TO SOOTHE AT NIGHT WAKES......................................................58
CRYING ....................................................................................................59
WHEN TO “GIVE UP” ...............................................................................60
THE LUNCH NAP.....................................................................................61
OVERNIGHT .............................................................................................62

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ROCKED/HELD TO SLEEP BABIES ................................................63

ROCK TO SOOTHE METHOD ..................................................................63
STAGE ONE: .........................................................................................64
ROCK TO SOOTHE AT THE START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME ..................64
STAGE TWO: ........................................................................................67
ROCK TO SOOTHE AT NIGHT WAKES .....................................................67
CRYING ....................................................................................................68
WHEN TO “GIVE UP” ...............................................................................69
THE LUNCH NAP.....................................................................................70
OVERNIGHT .............................................................................................71
CO-SLEEPING BABIES .......................................................................72

FEED TO SLEEP, FEED TO SOOTHE ........................................................72
STAGE ONE: .........................................................................................74
ALL SLEEPS, OWN BED, FEED TO SLEEP .................................................74
STAGE TWO .........................................................................................76
FEED TO SOOTHE AT START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME ...........................76
STAGE THREE: .....................................................................................79
OWN ROOM, OWN BED, FEED TO SOOTHE FOR NIGHT WAKES .........79
CRYING ....................................................................................................80
WHEN TO “GIVE UP” ...............................................................................81
THE LUNCH NAP.....................................................................................82
OVERNIGHT .............................................................................................83
PARENT-PRESENCE BABIES ............................................................84

STAGE ONE: .........................................................................................86
TOUCH TO SOOTHE, START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME............................86
STAGE TWO: ........................................................................................89
VOICE TO SOOTHE, START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME .............................89
STAGE THREE: .....................................................................................91


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VOICE TO SOOTHE, START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME .............................91

STAGE FOUR: .......................................................................................92
VOICE TO SOOTHE, START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME AND OVERNIGHT.
..................................................................................................................92
CRYING ....................................................................................................94
WHEN TO “GIVE UP” ...............................................................................95
THE LUNCH NAP.....................................................................................96
OVERNIGHT .............................................................................................97
EARLY MORNING WAKING .............................................................98

DEALING WITH A HABIT WAKE...............................................................98
ROUSE TO SLEEP .................................................................................. 100


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INTRODUCTION
This guide will direct you towards better sleep with your
baby from 6 months onwards. It contains advice around
creating the perfect conditions for sleep and several
trusted, effective methods for teaching your baby to go to
bed fully awake and put themselves to sleep at the start of
each sleep or nap and also when waking between sleep
cycles.
Throughout the Guide are clickable links to help you better

navigate.
You need to choose which method to follow depending on

what your baby’s current sleep association is, whether
they’re fed to sleep, rely on a parent presence or have no
particular settling habit.
There is a Quick Method, which involves some controlled

crying and there are 4 additional gradual methods which
involve little to no crying.
Over 6 months your baby understands what you are

saying a lot more, which is why sleep phrases become
important and why “sleep training” works over 6 months
old. Throughout this guide we encourage you to use sleep
phrases, this is a short phrase you can repeat every nap
and sleep time which might be something like: “it’s sleep
time now darling”.


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Before starting this Guide, please ensure:
ü Your baby is at least 6 months old

ü Your baby is not sick (we recommend a doctor’s
check-up directly prior to commencement of this
process)
ü Your baby is a healthy weight and not suffering
from any ongoing medical conditions which may
affect their ability to learn to sleep independently
ü Your baby is following our Sleeping and Feeding
Guide, or you start your baby on one at the same
time as beginning this process to ensure they are
having the right amount of daytime sleep and they
are getting enough milk and/or food during the day
Please use the GLOSSARY to help during this process.
PLEASE NOTE:
*at all times we recommend using safe sleeping practices with your baby.
*the information contained in this document is not a substitute for medical advice or care and you
should always seek the advice of your healthcare professional if you suspect your baby is unwell.
*this Guide is a product in itself and does not come with additional support or consultancy services of
any kind, apart from those offered in the Facebook Support Group.
*our products are guaranteed as long as they are being adhered to as per the documentation or our
advice. If you choose to not follow part or all of the information /Guide, that is entirely your choice,
however Little Ones is not accountable for the products not working for you in this case. A refund
option is available if you are dissatisfied with the product at any point as per the refund information
on our website.


7
SLEEP HABITS AND

ASSOCIATIONS
Babies are born knowing nothing about sleep; they rely on
us to teach them good sleep habits. If you were fortunate
enough to know this when your baby was born, you could
have been putting your baby down awake but sleepy from
day one and letting them fall asleep on their own. If you’ve
purchased this guide because your baby has formed sleep
habits based on a parent-controlled association, we will
need to gently help your little one to sleep independently.
Sleep habits are very easily formed in babies older than 3

months. The way we put our babies down to sleep as well
as the way we resettle them during naps or in the night
will dictate how they learn to go to sleep. We call these
things “sleep associations”; cues or behaviours your baby
associates so strongly with going to sleep that they can’t
sleep without them. Think of it like a pillow or blankets in
our own beds - if you went to sleep at the start of the
night with your pillow and your blankets on then woke in
the middle of the night and they had disappeared, you’d
not easily be able to go back to sleep. You’d be confused
and most likely not able to go back to sleep unless you had
your pillow and your blankets back. This is exactly the
same for babies. The way they are put to sleep at the start
of a nap or at bedtime is the only way they know how to
go to sleep. If they then wake and that same sleep


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association isn’t there they will not be able to go back to

sleep without it. This is why your baby will be waking
every 45 minutes in the day and 2 hours in the night and
needing your help to go back to sleep.
We can categorise the tools babies use/require to get to

sleep in two categories - baby controlled and parent
controlled.
Baby controlled sleep associations are things that a baby

can easily access or use or do themselves to assist them to
fall asleep, or things in a baby’s sleep environment that
signal it is time for sleep. These are:
ü A cuddly or comforter
ü Baby sleeping bag
ü Pacifier (around 8 months babies can replace their
own pacifiers in the night)
ü White noise (for babies younger than 12 months)
ü Thumb sucking
Parent controlled sleep associations are things that a

parent (or caregiver) has to do to get the baby to sleep;
things a baby is incapable of replicating themselves. The
most common are:
ü Feeding
ü Rocking
ü Patting or tapping
ü Shushing
ü Holding
ü Replacing a pacifier (for babies younger than 8
months)


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If a baby is relying on parent controlled sleep

associations, they will not be able to be able
to self-settle ie. go to sleep and stay asleep
like adults do.
Sleep cycles explained

After around 3 months, babies sleep cycles change. Prior
to this, babies can easily go from one sleep cycle into
another without really rousing, which is why newborns
often sleep for hours on end and then hit 3 to 4 months
and started waking a lot more.
Some babies wake fully between sleep cycles from this

age, which during the day is around every 45 minutes, and
between 45 minutes and 2 hours at night. We still do this
as adults - however we’re so skilled at the art of sleep we
would simply just roll over and fall back to sleep without
realising we’d woken.
If a baby relies on a parent-controlled sleep association to

fall asleep at the start of a nap or at bedtime, they will then
need the same conditions replicated when they surface
from their sleep cycles in the night. This is why it’s so
important to teach babies to fall asleep on their own and
make sure that the only sleep associations they have can
easily be controlled by the baby, so they can, essentially,
put themselves back to sleep.

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SETTING UP THE SLEEP

ENVIRONMENT
A good first step is to create the perfect sleep
environment for your little one; the ideal conditions to
encourage sleep. Here are our essential items to achieve
this:
A dark room
This can be done using blackout blinds or simply by putting
a dark sheet or blanket under or over the existing curtains.
You want to cover any light that might be sneaking in
around the edges of the curtain. Babies do not fear the
dark, in fact, like most mammals, they actually find the dark
comforting, calming and safe. Do not use a nightlight either
as the light can be very stimulating to babies, making it
hard for them to settle or stay asleep for long period.
Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary to sleep

babies in daylight during the day to avoid any kind of
day/night confusion. Having your baby in a good pattern
for their day and ensuring their naps are at the right time
and the right length will naturally help your baby
understand the difference between day and night and
consolidate their night time sleep. Letting babies sleep for
too long in the day is the thing that causes day/night
confusion – it has nothing to do with exposure to daylight
during their naps.

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For babies older than 3 or 4 months, napping in anything

other than a dark room can lead to catnapping in the day,
which can lead to overtiredness at bedtime.
White noise
This is very important for young babies but it also
definitely also helps older babies settle and sleep for
longer. White noise replicates the loud whooshing sounds
babies hear in the womb, sounds that are louder than a
vacuum cleaner in utero. Hearing loud white noise triggers
the calming response in babies, especially if they are
overtired, overstimulated or crying. White noise also
disguises any noises from the household which might
startle or wake a sleeping baby. When babies reach around
4 months and start waking between sleep cycles, their
senses fully switch on. Having white noise playing means
they are hearing the same comforting sound they heard
when they fell asleep and they’ll find it easier to transition
between sleep cycles.
We have a variety of white noise tracks available through

iTunes, Spotify and the Google Play Store. Experts
recommend playing the white noise louder than the baby’s
cries (if they are crying) or as loud as a shower to
encourage good sleep. We recommend using white noise
until 1 year of age for their long nap and overnight sleep.
Baby sleeping bag/sleep sack

Often babies wake in the night or early morning due to
being too cold. We can misinterpret their waking for

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hunger or a settling issue and end up feeding or rocking or

resettling their baby, which can in turn actually create a
waking habit. Using a baby sleeping bag can help make
sure your baby stays nice and warm all night long. We
recommend sleeping bags that are made of natural fibres -
cotton, wool, bamboo, merino - as these are much safer
for your baby and will mean they won’t overheat (a risk
factor for SIDS). Avoid using polar fleece or polyester
sleeping bags as these are quite dangerous. Having a room
thermometer is good too, so you can make sure you are
dressing baby in the right clothing for their room
temperature.
Here is a useful clothing and temperature guide for

sleeping bags:
Room Winter Weight Mid Weight Summer Tog Rated

Temp Merino Bag Merino Bag Weight Bag
Merino
Bag
Short 0.5 tog

26 sleeved Short sleeved
bodysuit bodysuit
Short Long 1.0 tog

24 sleeved sleeved Short sleeved
bodysuit bodysuit bodysuit
Long 1.0 tog

22 sleeved Long sleeved
bodysuit bodysuit


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Long sleeved Long 2.5 tog

bodysuit sleeved Long sleeved
20
bodysuit and bodysuit
pyjamas
Long sleeved 2.5 tog

bodysuit and Long sleeved
18 pyjamas bodysuit and
pyjama top
Long sleeved 2.5 tog

bodysuit, Long sleeved
16 pyjamas and bodysuit and
socks pyjama set
Cuddly/comforter
Introduce a cuddly or comforter as early as possible.
Having a little buddy for sleep is a great tool to encourage
self-settling in your baby. If they associate the comforter
with bedtime and sleep, it will work as a strong signal to
your baby when it is bedtime. Choose a comforter that is
washable, preferably one that you can purchase two of (so
you can interchange them when you need to wash one!).
Keep the comforter close to you for a few days, in your
bed or under your top or next to you and baby whilst
feeding so it absorbs your scent. Then give it to baby for
every nap and at night-time. To begin with this will just
mean placing it in baby’s bed when they sleep until they
are unswaddled and can hold the cuddly themselves. Make
sure you never place objects close enough to your baby’s
face that they can become a suffocation hazard.


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Remove anything from your baby’s sleep environment that

is not completely conducive to sleep - excessive toys and
musical mobiles are often a hindrance to a baby’s ability to
self-settle. Why sleep when you have all these toys and
stimulating things to look at?!
Pacifier
Pacifiers definitely do help babies settle and sleep. They
can become a nuisance through the 3-6 month stage as
babies are unable to replace the pacifier themselves so
need a parent to do it for them between sleep cycles in
the day and overnight.
Once babies reach 6+ months they can learn to replace

the pacifier themselves. The aide of a product like a
Sleepytot is useful here, so too is attaching the pacifiers to
a cuddle so they are easier for your baby to find/handle in
the night.
To teach your baby to replace their own pacifier, give it to

them in the day and let them practice putting it in their
own mouth. Guide their hand to their mouth if needed.
Stop putting it directly in your baby’s mouth and always
place the pacifier in your baby’s hand instead. If they are
struggling to find or replace it while in bed, guide your
baby’s hand to where the pacifier is lying rather than
simply putting it in their mouth to placing it in their hand.
You are teaching them to do it for themselves.


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SLEEP & STRESS

HORMONES
Melatonin (the sleep hormone)

As a baby nears bedtime in the evening, they start to
experience a rise in melatonin levels. Melatonin is a sleep
hormone that is released mostly in the dark and is
responsible for us falling asleep and staying asleep.
Melatonin governs our night time sleep cycles (which are

longer than daytime sleep cycles) and differentiates night
sleep from day sleep in our brains.
Traditionally speaking, before we were able to prolong

daylight via electric lights, as dusk approached our bodies
would have started to release this hormone, making us
sleepy leading up to bedtime.
Melatonin is only produced in the dark.

This is still why the natural, biological
bedtime for babies and children tends to be
between 6:30-7:30 PM - just after dusk.


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During summer months when the sun sets a lot later, many
babies and young children struggle to settle and sleep if
their room is still too sunny and bright - it is a case of the
sleep hormones not being produced to tell them it is time
for night time sleep; they can’t switch into their night time
sleep cycles. We can get around this by creating a false
night with blackout blinds, which is why it is so important
your baby’s room is pitch black!
Once asleep, the melatonin continues to rise in our bodies

until midnight. This is why the period between bedtime
and midnight is considered the most restorative sleep - we
are being pumped full of those good sleep hormones.
After midnight the melatonin drops off, which can

mean many babies sleep well up until midnight then wake
every 2 hours beyond that (especially if they can't self-
settle).
By 5 AM the melatonin has pretty much gone out of our

systems. This is the end of our night time sleep cycles and
we enter a period of light sleep rather than the deep sleep
we were in previously.


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Cortisol (the stress hormone)

Cortisol is a hormone that builds up during our waking
hours. It is similar to adrenaline or caffeine in the way it
affects our bodies. Napping in the day reduces the levels
of cortisol, which is really important for babies because
high levels of this hormone will cause hyperactivity
(common overtiredness behaviour) and will make it very
hard for babies (and toddlers) to switch off and go to sleep.
It would be like having a cup of coffee right before
bedtime and then trying to sleep.
High levels of cortisol also inhibit the release of melatonin,

meaning your baby won’t be getting the good sleep
hormones they need to go into a deep sleep overnight.
The long lunch nap in our Sleeping and Feeding Guide is

crucial to your baby reducing their cortisol levels come
bedtime in the evening. This is why we always aim to have
the longest nap of the day at lunchtime, rather than in the
morning. A baby who has been awake for too long or
hasn’t had a nap of over 2 hours since midday will be
VERY hard to settle at bedtime due to the high levels of
cortisol that will have built up. This can cause a wake after
45 minutes in the evening because the cortisol is inhibiting
your baby slipping into their night time sleep cycles. It can
contribute to early morning waking too.


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OVER AND UNDER

TIREDNESS
Overtiredness
Babies have a very sensitive circadian rhythm. The younger
the baby, the less awake time they can handle before their
system sort of goes into overload and they need to have a
sleep so their overactive brain has a chance to process and
catch up. This is how they grow and learn. The younger
the baby, the more sensitive they are to being awake for
too long between naps and this results in overtiredness.
Some babies will give very clear signs and you'll have
heaps of time to get them prepared for bed so they're
asleep at the right time. Some babies won't really show any
tired signs until it's too late. Some babies will show tired
signs quite early on, but this doesn't necessarily mean
they're actually ready for bed.
If a baby is overtired, this is what it looks like:
ü crying (when you know they aren't hungry) and difficult

to calm down
ü resisting settling
ü waking 45 minutes after bedtime at night
ü waking a lot in the night
ü older babies will seem hyperactive or as though they
have a “second wind”


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ü playing or moving around in their cot after bedtime

ü waking early morning
What is actually happening in your baby’s body is the

stress hormone cortisol has built up. An overload of this is
similar to adrenaline and sort of works like caffeine in your
little one's system. This is why older babies and toddlers
seem suddenly so WIDE awake. The more overtired your
baby is, the less likely they are to then settle easily. If
they're overtired at bedtime in the evening, they're starting
off the night on the back foot and you're pretty much
guaranteed a bad night of restless sleep then an early
wake the next morning.
Undertiredness
Sometimes, in our haste to ensure our babies don't get
overtired and therefore impossible to settle, we end up
trying to put them to bed too soon and they aren't quite
ready to settle to sleep yet. Two personality types will
appear here: the Alert Baby and the Sleepy Baby.
The Alert Baby will simply stare at you with wide open
eyes the WHOLE TIME you are trying to get them to
sleep, OR be crying and fighting you every step of the way.
Eventually your wee one will doze off, but then in a few
hours’ time you'll have to do it all again to get them to
sleep for their next nap.


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This baby wasn't tired enough to go to sleep in the first

place and was simply resisting all settling attempts as a
result.
The Sleepy Baby will go to sleep if you do anything to

actively settle them such as rock or feed. They'll probably
fall asleep while you're winding them… Except they'll then
wake 20/30/45 minutes later or as soon as you put them
down. This baby was easy to settle because rocking or
feeding is nice and calming and it was within their sleep
window, but this baby wasn't tired enough to have a
longer sleep because they had had too little awake time.
Across the space of a day, an undertired baby will end up

either catnapping in short bursts leading
to overtiredness come bedtime at night OR nap well but
then be extremely difficult to get to bed at night (because
they just need some awake time).
An undertired baby generally looks like this:
ü crying (even though you know they aren't hungry)

ü resisting settling
ü playing in their cot/bed long after bedtime
ü napping for short periods/cat napping
ü waking a lot at night
ü waking in the night and wanting to stay awake for
hours on end
ü waking early morning


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Both over and under tiredness lead to poor

napping and/or poor night time sleep. This
can mean a grumpy baby and frustrated
parents.


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BEDTIME ROUTINE
Having a bedtime routine that you follow each night helps

signal to your baby that sleep is approaching. The routine
doesn’t need to be lengthy, in fact, we recommend a
routine of around an hour from start to finish (when your
baby would be asleep) or you risk your baby becoming
overtired or overstimulated. It is important that you chose
elements in the bedtime routine that can be replicated
each night; it is about repeating the same steps in the
same order so your baby understands these as sleep cues.
For really young or unsettled babies, dim the lights for

your bedtime routine so you are creating a calming
atmosphere conducive to sleep.
Here is a sample bedtime routine for a baby aged 6

months:
6:00pm Bath baby in a nice warm bath
6:15pm After drying baby, massage her with some

almond oil (or other natural oil)
6:00pm Dress baby in her sleeping clothes and

sing a song or read a book


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6:15pm Start bedtime milk feed
6:50pm Bedtime milk feed ends, give baby a

cuddle and sing her a song
7:00pm Baby goes to bed awake, but sleepy, and

goes to sleep on her own.
It is important your bedtime routine isn’t too rushed, or too

long. You want baby calm and relaxed throughout the
whole process.
For daytime naps, you can replicate a smaller version of

the routine, with a story or song and a cuddle before baby
goes into bed for her nap.
Establishing a bedtime routine creates a

process, the end of which is sleep. Your
baby will come to understand that and
accept sleep as the final component.


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YOUR BABY WILL NOT

SETTLE OR SLEEP IF:

They’re not tired enough

Baby awake windows grow as they grow and many babies
display confusing signs as to when they’re actually ready
for bed. If you’re trying to put your baby to bed and they
just seem like they want to party, they probably do just
want to party! Try keeping them up a bit longer. For the
perfect awake times per age, we recommend using our
Sleeping and Feeding Guide.
They’re too tired

Babies who are overtired will find it really difficult to settle
and go to sleep. We advise using the correct awake time
window for your baby’s age to avoid overtiredness in the
first place!
They’ve had too much sleep

Babies need a very specific amount of daytime sleep in
order for them to sleep well at night. If your baby has too

25
much sleep in the day they won’t settle easily or sleep for
long enough overnight.
They are hungry

Hungry babies will not sleep! Even if you think they’ve had
enough, if you’ve tried everything else and they still won’t
sleep, they might be hungry. We’d never advocate leaving
a baby to self-settle if they are genuinely hungry.
Temperature
Babies can easily become too hot or too cold. Either of
these will result in a baby who won’t settle and
sleep. Make sure you always dress your babies in
appropriate clothing for the room temperature, use natural
fibres such as cotton or merino and never sleep your baby
in a hat. Check your baby’s temperature by feeling their
chest or back rather than their hands or face (which should
feel cooler than their bodies).
They are sick

If you notice a sudden change to your baby’s sleep habits,
such as sudden early waking, not settling well or suddenly

26
waking between sleep cycles when they have previously

been able to self-settle, they are likely unwell. Take them
to the doctor and get them checked out before you start
looking at other reasons for their waking.


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FREQUENTLY ASKED
QUESTIONS
Q: Do you have different methods I can use with

my baby?
A: We sure do! You can choose the method that correlates
to your baby’s existing sleep association, suits their
temperament and the one you think you can be consistent
with. If you would like a quick method that involves some
crying, choose the Quick Method. The rest of the methods
offer a more gradual approach.
Q: Is it too early to teach my baby to self-settle?

A: If your baby is over 6 months and you think they’re
ready, then it’s the right time. There is no “perfect” age,
however over 6 months is a good time to guide them
towards this skill.
Q: Is my baby too old to learn to self-settle?

A: We can help babies of all ages learn this skill with the
methods in these Guides, however the older the baby, the
more resistance you can expect from them. It is difficult


28
sometimes for a baby to change their existing sleep habits

and it can take a good few weeks to solidify this new skill
for them.
Q: When is it going to start getting easier for my

baby to fall asleep on her own?
A: Give it at least a week, often 2 weeks of using the
methods in this Guide with consistency. If it’s been over
two weeks and you’re still not happy with the progress, it’s
probably time to troubleshoot in the Little Ones Village.
Q – “My baby just wants to lie awake in her cot

and doesn’t seem interested in sleep when I put
her to bed.”
A - Firstly, make sure your baby is closely following our
Sleeping and Feeding Guide for her age - this will make
sure she is being put to bed at the right time. Going to bed
when she’s not tired enough or overtired can result in her
not wanting to actually fall asleep! If you’ve got the right
nap/bed times, so long as she isn’t getting upset you’re
fine to leave her be and see if she’ll settle herself to sleep.
Crying
Q: I don’t want my baby to cry at all during this
process. Can your methods work for me?

29
A: We all agree that it is hard to hear your babies cry, but

sometimes we outweigh the temporary crying for the long-
term gain of better sleep. You are the only one who can
judge whether this is the right time for your baby. There
are also far more gradual methods you can use which
should minimise the crying.
Q: When teaching self-settling, how long do I let

my baby cry?
A: If you’re using the Quick method, we do recommend a
time limit of 6 minutes, increasing by 2 minutes each
check-in. Our more gradual methods are designed to allow
you to comfort your baby throughout the entire process.
The amount your baby cries will also depend on their
temperament and of course their age – an older baby will
protest a lot more!
Q: How is teaching self-settling different to

teaching my baby to feel abandoned?
A: You are gradually guiding your baby to this new skill in
the context of a secure, loving relationship and when the
conditions for sleep are spot on. Your baby understands
different contexts and they know that you are still there
for them and will tend to their needs when they need it;
they will continue to cry during the day to get their needs
met even if they are no longer crying at sleep time. At no
point do we advocate leaving your baby unattended to cry
for extended periods.

30
Q: Can I use these methods with my reflux / alert

/ difficult baby?
A: If any medical conditions have been checked and
attended to by a Dr, then you’re find to continue with our
methods. A lot of alert babies actually thrive on routine
and for babies with reflux or other medical conditions,
getting their sleep on track will help you identify or
highlight if the medical condition returns or flares up.
Q: My baby cries for a few minutes after I put her

down. Is this still self-settling and how long will
she cry for?
A: If your baby is going to sleep without any assistance
from you, it’s self-settling! Sometimes even after they get
the hang of it, it can take a little while for your baby to
realize they can now go to sleep on their own. If the crying
doesn't stop after the first couple weeks, it could be
overtiredness at bedtime (or more commonly
undertiredness). Some babies do cry to wind down at
bedtime – this is completely normal.
Q: My baby starts crying before I even put her

down or as soon as we enter her room. Is she
scared of her cot or of sleep?


31
A: Don’t worry – your baby isn’t “scared” of anything

(babies aren’t capable of complex emotions like fear or
hate until they’re much much older). It is a sign that your
baby understands the connection between the wind-down
routine/their room and going to sleep. This is a positive
connection for them to understand! As long as your baby
is not overtired, this crying should go away with time -
sometimes it just takes a wee while for baby’s confidence
to catch up.
Q – “My baby is crying and won’t calm down no

matter what I do.”
A - If you can rule out any other factor for her crying,
sometimes interaction with you can actually stimulate an
overtired baby. If your baby is crying and is finding it hard
to calm down and you have already tried several rounds of
your settling method, try reducing your interaction with
them; give them some space to calm on their own. You’ll
be surprised how well this can work! Whatever you do,
don’t try a whole lot of different settling tricks - stick to
one method. Go through the check list of why your baby
might not be settling.
Night feedings
Q: Can I teach my baby to self-settle and still feed
in the night?

32
A: Yes. Our methods guide your baby to fall asleep

independently and you can most certainly do that without
night weaning. It sometimes happens naturally if your baby
is getting the right amount of day sleep and food during
the day. Night weaning is at the discretion of parents and
best discussed with your paediatrician.
Q: How do I know whether my baby is truly

hungry during the night or waking out of habit or
for some other reason?
A: It is quite normal for a baby to still have one feed a
night up until around 9 months old, but here are some
clues that your baby may be ready to drop their night
feeds: 1) your baby is drinking a small quantity / only for a
few minutes then going back to sleep. 2) your baby is
drinking a sufficient quantity/frequency during the day on
the Sleeping and Feeding Guide. 3) you have a gut feeling
that perhaps your baby is ready to drop feeds. 4) your
baby is taking a tiny feed or isn’t interested in their 7am
milk feed. 5) you could set your alarm clock at a certain
time in the night and know that your baby will wake for a
feed; this is habit rather than hunger.
Sleep environment
Q – “Should I use a nightlight in my baby’s room?”

33
A - No need for a nightlight at this young age – babies

aren’t scared of the dark and in fact, like most mammals,
find it really calming. Often nightlights overstimulate
babies, making it harder for them to settle and sleep.
Q: My children share a room; how will this affect

this process?
A: You could put the older child to sleep in your bed until
the younger one is asleep, then move them together when
they are both asleep. Otherwise, just use white noise and
they should get used to each other's noise. Your older
child will sleep through more than you think!
Q: Can I teach self-settling with a pacifier?

A: Some babies are fine with a pacifier and won’t be
waking for it to be replaced overnight. For others, the
pacifier might be doing more harm than good to your
baby’s ability to self-settle. If you can teach your baby to
replace their own pacifier, it can be a valuable settling tool.
Q: I need to make several changes to my baby’s

sleep environment (move baby to her own room,
stop swaddling). Should I do them all at once or is
that too much?
A: There is no harm in moving baby to their own room


34
before you begin. It can often improve sleep quickly if your

baby can no longer hear or smell you close to them. You
know your baby’s temperament best – make the changes
that you think they can cope with depending on how their
sleeping is going.
Disruptions to teaching self-settling

Q: My baby is sick, what should I do?
A: You have to use your judgment on this one. If it's just a
small cold and your baby seems fine, then you may be fine
to continue. If your baby is quite unwell then you'll want to
hold off. Refer to the info section in your Sleeping and
Feeding Guide called “Sick Babies” for more advice.
Q: It's a regression/wonder week, should I

continue teaching self-settling?
A: Consistency is the best way through these periods.
Q: Can I teach self-settling while my baby is

teething?
A: Definitely. Teething isn’t as bad as we all think it is and
it is only painful when the tooth is actually breaking
through the gum, which you’ll be able to see. Teething pain
is lessened at night when your baby is lying prone and

35
their blood pressure is lower, so if your baby hasn't been

showing signs of pain or discomfort from teething
throughout the day and/or immediately before bedtime,
it's unlikely that the teething is bothering them too much.
Mobile babies
Q: My baby is rolling onto her tummy/back and
getting stuck/frustrated. What do I do?
A: There isn’t a whole lot you can do unfortunately and
you're in for a tough few days. It may be over sooner if
you can leave her to figure it out for herself. If she’s rolling
onto her tummy, the upside is that she will likely sleep
better on her tummy once she's used to it! If your baby is
rolling onto her tummy and she’s still swaddled, you’ll need
to either use a Safe T Sleep (or similar) to stop her rolling,
or lose the swaddle.
Q: My baby is getting her arms/legs stuck in the

bars of crib, what should I do?
A: If they are distressed by having their limbs stuck, look
into safer bumper options (Vertical Cot Liners, breathable
bumpers). If it doesn’t seem to bother your baby, don’t
worry about it.


36
Q: Why is my baby waking up happy between 3-

5AM wanting to talk/sing/crawl around?
A: If your baby is napping as per the times in the Sleeping
and Feeding Guide, it’s likely this wake is because they're
practising any new skills, like crawling or rolling. Just leave
them to do their thing and avoid going in to them and
stimulating them further. You can't force them to sleep,
just give them the right conditions to sleep. Check their
napping against the times in the Sleeping and Feeding
Guide if it continues and if it’s been more than a week,
seek advice in the Little Ones Village.
Q: My baby is standing in her cot, what do I do?

A: You can use lay down with her if that’s part of your
settling method, otherwise you might be better to leave
her to it. Some older babies will see this as a game and
continue to stand up to get a response from you.
Q: My baby throws her comforter out of the cot,

what do I do?
A: Don't keep replacing it because this can easily become a
game, especially for older babies. Your baby will soon learn
not to do it if they don’t get it back!
Q – “Why won’t my baby sleep longer than one

sleep cycle even though they are settling well?”

37
A – If your baby is new to self-settling, it is completely

normal for them to wake after one sleep cycle in the day
and struggle to get back to sleep. You may need to
persevere with resettling (if you can) or use the notes in
your Sleeping and Feeding Guide to restructure your day.
Tomorrow is another day!


38
SELF-SETTLING PROCESS
Introduction
This process can yield results in as little as 3-4 days if you

use the Quick Method with consistency, depending on the
severity of your baby’s sleep association. It is important to
remember that teaching your baby to self-settle usually
comes with an element of protest from your little one; you
are re-teaching them something completely different to
what they’ve previously known. You should expect some
resistance or even crying from your baby because it is
difficult for them to change their behaviour.
If you want a gradual method with minimal crying please

choose Rocked-to-Sleep Babies, Fed-to-Sleep Babies, Co
Sleeping Babies or Parent Presence methods.
In any method, we at no point advocate leaving your baby

to cry if they’re crying up.
A note about crying- there are three main forms of crying:

1. Protest crying: this is a loud insistent cry, which
almost sounds like shouting. This cry is the
equivalent of your baby yelling at you and is a direct
response to something happening that they don’t
necessarily like or didn’t expect.
2. Crying up or winding up: this is crying that is getting
worse or escalating after a period of time. This
often happens when something is genuinely wrong,
ie they are in pain.

39
3. Crying down or winding down: this is a cry that gets

more spaced out after a period of time, quieter or
weaker. This type of crying from a baby is
sometimes happen especially if they are
overstimulated or overtired.
Start your baby on one of our Sleeping and Feeding

Guides at the same time as beginning this process, if they
are not already on one. This means their naps and bedtime
are at the right time for their age and will greatly help their
chances of going to sleep when you are coaching them to
self-settle. A baby who is not tired enough or overtired will
find it difficult to settle no matter what you do.
You will begin by helping your baby with self-settling at

the START of their daytime naps and at bedtime.
Once they are settling well at those times, you will use
your chosen self-settling method overnight.
Never leave your baby to cry if they are crying up, are sick,
you think they are genuinely hungry, or they are too hot or
cold.
This guide is designed to work on changing

different settling habits for babies, so you
will choose which method to use
depending on how your baby is currently
settled to sleep.


40
For no specific settling attachment or if you want to break

an existing sleep association quickly, use the Quick
Method.
If your baby has been fed to sleep, start the method for
fed-to-sleep babies.
If your baby has been rocked or cuddled to sleep, start the

method for rocked-to-sleep babies.
If your baby is co-sleeping, start the co-sleeping method.
If your baby is used to falling asleep with a parent

presence, patting, touching etc, start the parent-presence
method.
Tools to use in the self-settling process:

• Dark room
• White noise
• Cuddly or comforter
• Pacifier (if using)
• Baby sleeping bag


41
GLOSSARY/METHODS
EXPLAINED
SELF-SETTLE/SELF-SOOTHE
This means your baby is able to go to bed fully awake and
put themselves to sleep
LAY DOWN, LAY DOWN

This is where you lay your baby in their bed, say a sleep
phrase, such as “it’s sleepy time now” and move away or
leave the room for a period of time. If your baby sits or
stands, lay them back down and repeat the phrase, and
move away or leave the room for a period of time.
Continue doing this until they get the idea and stop
sitting/standing and go to sleep
CUDDLE/ROCK TO SOOTHE
This is picking up your baby from their bed, cuddling or
rocking them until they are calm, then putting them back in
their bed awake
FEED TO SOOTHE
This is picking up your baby from their bed, feeding them
until they are calm but not asleep, then putting them back
in their bed awake

42
GRADUAL WITHDRAWAL
This method is simply reducing the amount of “help” or
increasing the distance between you and your baby as
they fall asleep each day. You continue to soothe them
with your voice as you reduce your physical presence, until
eventually they don’t need you in the room
VOICE TO SOOTHE
You use your voice, saying a sleep phrase such as “it’s
sleep time now” to calm your baby if they’re upset during
the gradual withdrawal process. This can be done in the
room with your baby or via the intercom function on your
baby monitor (if using)
TOUCH TO SOOTHE
To do this, you lay a hand on your baby, pat them, stroke
their forehead, or whatever touch method they find
calming. You would do this while using your voice to
soothe and saying a sleep phrase
ROUSE TO SLEEP
This is an option for getting rid of a habit wake either in
the night or in the early morning. You set an alarm for 1
hour before your baby would normally wake and go into
their room and rouse them slightly by touching their head
or arm. They will surface out of their deep sleep but not

43
wake fully and should reset back into the start of a new
sleep cycle. Do this for a few days and they will stop
waking at that time.
This can also be used to resettle in the lunch nap if your

baby struggles to link sleep cycles. Rouse them 15 minutes
before the end of their sleep cycle and they should go
through into another sleep cycle.


44
QUICK METHOD FOR

BABIES WITH NO SPECIFIC
SETTLING ATTACHMENT
Use this method if you are comfortable using controlled

crying while teaching your baby to self-settle or if they
have no particular settling attachment and are used to
falling asleep in the car, stroller, while being fed or rocked
etc; if their method of falling asleep is different every time.
Lay down/cuddle to Use previous (old)

STAGE
soothe at the start of settling method
ONE
naps and bedtime overnight
Self-settling at the Lay down/cuddle to

STAGE
start of naps and soothe for night
TWO
bedtime wakes


45
STAGE ONE:
Lay down/cuddle to soothe at the
start of naps and bedtime
1. Change nappy/diaper 15 minutes before scheduled

nap or bedtime
2. Take your baby to her room, close the curtains and

turn on the white noise
3. Put your baby in her sleeping bag and place her in

her bed
4. Implement a sleep phrase here, such as “It’s sleep

time now”
5. Move away from the bed or leave the room and set
a timer, initially for 6 minutes
6. If your baby is still upset after the time is up, pick

her up, cuddle to soothe and put her back in her
bed, laying her down and saying the sleep phrase
again and leaving the room or moving away from
the bed.


46
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 by leaving the room for 2

minutes extra each time before implementing
cuddle to soothe or your baby falls asleep.
8. During her longer lunch nap, it is normal for your

baby to wake after one sleep cycle until they are
able to self-settle at the start of the nap. If this
happens, leave them for at least 15 minutes or for
as long as possible if crying down, to see if they’ll
resettle themselves. If they don’t or are crying up,
get them up and follow the notes in your Sleeping
and Feeding Guide to get through the rest of the
day.
The most important thing at this point is that your baby is

learning to go to sleep, on their own, in their own bed at
the start of naps and bedtime. They are learning that this is
the space where they sleep, rather than on you or in a
carrier or whilst feeding. They are learning that you are
there for them when they’re upset, but that they have to
put themselves to sleep.
Once your baby is self-settling at the start of naps and

bedtime without you needing to cuddle to soothe, you can
work on the next stage: reducing, night wakes using this
self-settling method.


47
STAGE TWO:
Lay down/cuddle to soothe at
night wakes
If your baby is self-settling well for all day sleeps and at

bedtime, their night waking may have significantly reduced
as they will be able to resettle by themselves here too.
If, however, your baby is over 6 months, is on 2 meals of

solids a day, weighs more than 7kg/15.5lb and is waking
for more than one feed in the night you can start to
respond to these additional wakes with lay down / cuddle
to soothe once your baby is self-settling at the start of
naps and at bedtime.
The method is the same as it has been previously – when

your baby wakes, use the lay down method with them. If
they get upset and it’s been more than 6 minutes, cuddle
to soothe then proceed with lay down. Repeat as
necessary try not to cuddle or feed them to sleep.
For a baby who is waking more than once in the night,

feed at the first wake, then resettle at the consequent
wakes, unless you believe your baby is genuinely hungry.


48
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Crying
It is very common for babies in this age bracket to protest
by crying.
You will need to give them a chance to work on this new

skill, so rushing to soothe them straight away is not
necessarily in their best interests long term. We
recommend waiting 6 minutes before offering cuddle to
soothe.
Once calm and back in their bed, if your baby starts crying
again wait 8 minutes. Repeat the process and then wait 10
minutes and so on.
If you are uncomfortable with any level of crying, you can

feed or cuddle to soothe your baby at any stage, just bear
in mind the process will take longer and you will need to
be careful you’re not continuing to cuddle/rock/feed your
baby to sleep. The Parent Presence Method is a more
gradual method if you’d like to avoid as much crying as
possible.


49
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
When to “give up”
At this age you need to persist with the self-settling
method no matter what.
Some babies will resist settling for up to an hour, some

even longer. Persevere and then readjust their day naps to
compensate using the troubleshooting in your Sleeping
and Feeding Guide.
“Giving up” and resorting to feeding or rocking your baby

back to sleep is only teaching them to cry for longer to get
what they want. The older your baby is/gets, the longer
than can resist settling.
The first three days are the hardest but it does get a lot
easier after that.


50
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
The Lunch Nap
While your baby is learning to self-settle she may wake
after one sleep cycle during her lunch nap. Beyond 6
months babies begin to really resist resetting in any form
and even just seeing you can signal to her that it’s time to
get up!
While working on the early stages of this method and until

your baby is entirely able to self-settle at the start of her
nap, if she wakes after one sleep cycle leave her for at
least 15 minutes to give her the chance to resettle herself.
If she doesn’t resettle or is crying up get her up and use
the notes in your Sleeping and Feeding Guide to get
through the rest of the day.
For a baby between 6-8 months this will mean you’ll need
to do a an afternoon nap. For babies older than 8 months
bring bedtime forwards to compensate.


51
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Overnight
Put your baby to bed at bedtime as per the instructions for
your method.
If your baby is still fed in the night, continue to offer milk

at the first wake, then settle back to bed using this method
for any additional wakes.
How to determine if the wake is habit rather than hunger:

• Your baby is eating a small quantity / only for a few
minutes then going back to sleep
• Your baby is eating a sufficient quantity/frequency
during the day on the Sleeping and Feeding Guide
• Your baby used to sleep longer stretches and then
they got shorter again
• You have a gut feeling that perhaps baby is ready to
drop feeds
• Your baby is taking a tiny feed or isn’t interested in
their 7 AM milk feed
• The wake is always at the same time each night -
you could set your alarm clock at a certain time in
the night and know that your baby will wake for a
feed.


52
FED TO SLEEP BABIES

Feed to Soothe Method
Use this method if your baby is currently fed to sleep for

all their sleeps.
You will be replacing the feeding to sleep association with

a feed to soothe method.
Feeding to sleep is the strongest of all the sleep

associations so it needs to be treated a bit more delicately.
For these babies, following our Sleeping and Feeding

Guides is the best place to start because you’ll make sure
they are feeding completely separately from sleep. This
ensures they have a good feed while awake and fresh and
lessens the continuation of their feed to sleep habit. It also
means you won’t be second guessing yourself when you
stop feeding them to sleep.
An additional option for fed-to-sleep babies is to introduce

a pacifier. If your baby is over 7 months old they can learn
to replace this themselves and it can be a really effective
way of keeping the sucking association your baby is used
to, but removing your assistance in the equation.


53
Feed to soothe at the

STAGE Feed to sleep
start of naps and
ONE overnight
bedtime
Self-settling at the
STAGE Feed to soothe for
start of naps and
TWO night wakes
bedtime


54
STAGE ONE:
Feed to soothe at the start of naps
and at bedtime

nap or bedtime


her bed

time now”
a silent timer, initially for 6 minutes.
6. If your baby gets distressed and is crying, you can

use your voice or touch to help soothe your baby,
for the duration of the timer.
7. If they are still crying and not winding down after

the timer is up you can offer them a feed to
SOOTHE them only – don’t let them fall asleep –


55
and put them back down into their bed awake and
say your sleep phrase.
8. Repeat steps 5, 6 and 7 by using your voice or

touch to sooth for an extra 2 minutes each time
before implementing feed to soothe or your baby
falls asleep.
9. Close the bedroom door to ensure total darkness

and keep the white noise on
10. The message you are sending your baby is that you
are still there to soothe them, but that they must
learn to go to sleep on their own, in their own bed.
11. Once your baby has fallen asleep in their own bed,
no matter how long it takes, that is a massive first
step!

happens, leave them for at least 15 minutes to see
if they’ll resettle themselves. If they don’t or are
crying up, get them up and follow the notes in your
Sleeping and Feeding Guide to get through the rest
of the day.


56

It may take a while the first few attempts, but persevere. If

your baby happens to fall asleep while feeding to soothe
you can rouse them slightly as you put them in bed, then
aim to try again with the next naptime.
After about 3 days your baby will have forgotten about

being fed to sleep at the START of naps/bedtime and will
have developed new positive sleep associations: the dark
room, the white noise, the swaddle/sleeping bag.
Once your baby has got the hang of self-settling to sleep

without you needing to feed to soothe, at the START of
naps and bedtime, after around 3 days, move on to the
next stage of the process: reducing night wakes.


57
STAGE TWO:
Feed to soothe at night wakes

bedtime without you needing to feed to soothe AND you
are not needing to stay in the room while they fall asleep,
their night waking may have significantly reduced as they
will be able to resettle by themselves here too.

respond to these additional wakes with feed to soothe
once your baby is self-settling at the start of naps and at
bedtime.

your baby wakes, leave them to see if they’ll settle
themselves back to sleep. If they are due a feed, give them
a full feed but do not let them fall asleep feeding. Then put
your baby in her bed awake and if they get upset and it’s
been more than 6 minutes, feed to soothe then lay them
back in bed awake. Repeat as necessary, try not to feed
them to sleep.
If you’ve feed at the first wake, resettle at the second.


58
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Crying
by crying.

recommend waiting 6 minutes before offering a feed to
soothe.
minutes and so on.

be careful you’re not continuing to feed your baby to
sleep.


59
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING

and Feeding Guide.

what they want! The older your baby is/gets, the longer
easier after that.


60
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
The Lunch Nap
get up!

If she doesn’t resettle or is crying up, get her up and use
to do a later afternoon nap. For babies older than 8
months bring bedtime forwards to compensate.


61
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Overnight
your method.


drop feeds
feed.


62
ROCKED/HELD TO SLEEP
BABIES
Rock to soothe method
Rocking or cuddling to sleep is a very strong sleep

association so it needs to be treated quite delicately.

Guide is crucial because you’ll make sure they are really
ready for sleep. A baby will not be easy to settle if they are
under or over tired.
The times indicated in this guide are approximate only –

some babies do it a lot quicker. You should move onto the
next phase when your baby is ready, rather than focusing
too heavily on the days specified in the guide.
The difference with this method is that you’ll implement a

lay down / rock to soothe mantra, explained here:
Rock to soothe at the

STAGE Rock to sleep
start of naps and
ONE overnight
bedtime
STAGE Self-settling at the start Rock to soothe for

TWO of naps and bedtime night wakes


63
STAGE ONE:
Rock to soothe at the start of naps
and bedtime

nap or bedtime


her bed

time now”

7. If they are still crying and not winding down after

the timer is up you can use rock to SOOTHE them
only – don’t let them fall asleep – and put them


64
back down into their bed awake and say your sleep
phrase.

before implementing rock to soothe or your baby
falls asleep.

step!

crying, get them up and follow the notes in your
of the day.


65


being rocked to sleep at the START of naps/bedtime and
will have developed new positive sleep associations: the
dark room, the white noise, the swaddle/sleeping bag.

at the START of naps and bedtime without you needing to
rock to soothe, move on to the next stage of the process:
reducing night wakes.


66
STAGE TWO:
Rock to soothe at night wakes

bedtime without you needing to rock to soothe AND you
will be able to resettle themselves here too.

respond to these additional wakes with rock to soothe
bedtime.

your baby wakes, leave them to see if they’ll settle
themselves back to sleep. If they are due a feed, give them
a full feed but do not let them fall asleep feeding. Then put
your baby in her bed awake and if they get upset and it’s
been more than 6 minutes, rock to soothe then lay them
back in bed awake. Repeat as necessary but do not feed
them to sleep.


67
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Crying
by crying.

recommend waiting 6 minutes before offering rocking to
soothe.
minutes and so on.

rock or cuddle to soothe your baby at any stage, just bear
be careful you’re not continuing to rock your baby to
sleep.


68
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING

and Feeding Guide.

easier after that.


69
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
The Lunch Nap
get up!

If she doesn’t resettle get her up and use the notes in your
Sleeping and Feeding Guide to get through the rest of the
day.


70
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Overnight
your method.


drop feeds
feed.


71
CO-SLEEPING BABIES
Feed to sleep, feed to soothe
Co-sleeping and feeding to sleep are the strongest of all

the sleep associations so this transition needs to be treated
a bit more delicately.

Guide is crucial because you’ll make sure they are feeding
completely separately from sleep. This ensures they have a
good feed while awake and fresh and also lessens the
continuation of their feed to sleep habit. It also means you
won’t be second guessing yourself by stopping feeding
them to sleep.
The difference with this method is that it is made up of

several stages.
1. Teach your baby to sleep in their own bed for naps

and at night time (while their bed is in your room).
You will feed them to sleep here.
2. Teach your baby to self-settle at the start of all

naps and bedtime.
3. Move your baby to her own room. You can camp in

with them for a few days if you like


72
4. Move out of baby’s room (if camping in) and teach

your baby to self-settle in the night, eliminating
night waking.
An additional option for co-sleeping babies is to introduce

a pacifier. If your baby is over 7 months old they can learn
to replace this themselves and it can be a really effective
way of keeping the sucking association your baby is used
to, but removing your assistance in the equation.
You should move onto the next stage when your baby is
ready, but you need to ensure you are actively progressing
through the stages.
Feed to sleep for naps

STAGE and at bedtime and Feed to sleep
ONE put baby in her own overnight
bed in your room
Feed to soothe at the
start of naps and
STAGE Feed to sleep
bedtime and put baby
TWO overnight
in her own bed in your
room.
Move baby’s bed to
STAGE her own room. Should Feed to soothe
THREE be self-settling for overnight
naps and bedtime.


73
STAGE ONE:
All sleeps, own bed, feed to sleep

nap or bedtime
2. Take your baby to your room, close the curtains and

3. Put your baby in her sleeping bag and proceed to

feed her to sleep
4. Once asleep, place your baby in her own bed


of the day.

learning to go to sleep in their own bed. They are learning

74
that this is the space where they sleep, rather than on you
or in your bed.
After about 3 days your baby will be used to being fed to

sleep and will have developed a sleep habit of this, but also
will have developed new positive sleep associations: the
dark room, the white noise, the sleeping bag, her own bed
as the place where she sleeps.
Once your baby is sleeping in her own bed, after around 3

days, move on to the next stage of the process.


75
STAGE TWO
Feed to soothe at start of naps and
bedtime

nap or bedtime
2. Take your baby to your room, close the curtains and


her bed

time now”

7. If still they are still crying and not winding down

after the timer is up you can offer them a feed to
SOOTHE them only – don’t let them fall asleep –
and put them back down into their bed awake and
say your sleep phrase.

76

before implementing feed to soothe or your baby
falls asleep.

step!

crying, get them up and follow the notes in your
of the day.

the space where they sleep, rather than on you or whilst
feeding. They are learning that you are there for them

77
when they’re upset, but that they have to put themselves

to sleep.

being fed to sleep at the START of naps/bedtime and will
have developed new positive sleep associations: the dark
room, the white noise, the sleeping bag.

at the START of naps and bedtime without you needing to
feed to soothe, move on to the next stage of the process.
*Once your baby is self-settling in her own bed for all naps
and at bedtime, move her bed to her own room.
You can camp in with her, on a mattress or spare bed if

you feel more comfortable doing so, but it is optional.
Once she’s in her own room, you will continue to feed her
in the night, if she’s still waking, for a further couple of
nights. See the next section on reducing night waking.
You need to make sure you’ve moved out of her room (if
camping in) before you start eliminating her night feeds or
your presence in her room will be confusing for her.


78
STAGE THREE:
Own room, own bed, feed to
soothe for night wakes

bedtime without you needing to feed to soothe AND you
will be able to self-settle here too.

for more than one feed (or resettle) in the night you can
start to respond to these additional wakes with feed to
soothe once your baby is self-settling at the start of naps
and at bedtime in their own bed in their own room.

your baby wakes, leave her to resettle herself in the first
instance. If they get upset and it’s been more than 6
minutes, feed to soothe then lay your baby back in her
bed. Repeat as necessary but try not to feed or cuddle
them to sleep.


79
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Crying
by crying.

recommend waiting 6 minutes before offering feed to
soothe once you reach that stage.
minutes and so on.

be careful you’re not continuing to feed your baby to sleep
long-term. You need to still be progressing through the
stages.
easier after that.


80
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING

and Feeding Guide.



81
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
The Lunch Nap
get up!

If she doesn’t resettle or is crying up, get her up and use


82
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Overnight
your method.


drop feeds
feed.


83
PARENT-PRESENCE BABIES
Parent presence in the form of cuddling, stroking, being on

the same room as your baby are very strong sleep
associations so this transition needs to be treated a bit
more delicately. We have to be careful not to give your
baby mixed messages.

Guide is crucial because you’ll make sure they are
genuinely ready for sleep when you’re trying to put them
down. Babies who are over or under tired will not be easy
to settle no matter what you do and is likely the reason
this sleep association developed in the first place.
The difference with this method is that it is made up of

several phases. You will follow in this order:
1. Sit on a chair next to your baby’s bed while they try

and go to sleep. If they get upset, you’ll use your
voice and touch to soothe them.
2. Move your chair halfway across the room, still using

your voice to soothe.
3. Move your chair to the door, still using your voice

to soothe.


84
4. Leave the room, using voice to soothe if your baby

becomes upset, but then leaving the room again.
You should move onto the next phase when your baby is
ready, but you do need to make sure you’re progressing
through the stages.
Voice and Touch to

STAGE Feed/cuddle to sleep
soothe next to baby’s
ONE overnight.
bed.
Voice to soothe from

halfway across the
TWO overnight
room.

the doorway of the
THREE overnight
room.

STAGE Voice to soothe
outside the room (if
FOUR overnight
needed).


85
STAGE ONE:
Touch to soothe, start of naps and
bedtime

nap or bedtime


her bed

time now”
5. Place a chair in the room and sit right next to baby’s

bed. Reassure her with the sleep phrase once
you’re sitting there. If the room is blacked out, she
won’t be able to see you very well but she will still
smell, hear and sense your presence. Set a silent
timer, initially for 6 minutes.
6. Allow her to try and settle herself to sleep without

any interruption from you! It is important you give
her the chance to try and do this on her own.


86

8. If your baby is awake but happy, leave her to it/no

need to repeat the sleep phrase, just stay beside
her until she falls asleep.

step!
11. The first day and night is the hardest as you both
adjust to the new way of doing things.

of the day.
13. Overnight, put your baby back to sleep using

whatever method you used previously (feeding,
patting, cuddling) for the time being.


87

the space where they sleep, rather than on you or with
you assisting them. They are learning that you are there
for them when they’re upset, but that they have to put
themselves to sleep.
After about 3 days your baby will be used to going to sleep

in this way at the START of naps/bedtime and will have
developed new positive sleep associations: the dark room,
the white noise, the swaddle/sleeping bag.

at the START of naps and bedtime move on to the next
stage of the process.


88
STAGE TWO:
Voice to soothe, start of naps and
bedtime
1. Your baby should be self-settling at the start of

naps and bedtime with you sitting next to them.
2. Now you will move to halfway across the room

instead of right next to your baby.
3. Continue reassuring her if she is crying with voice

to soothe.
4. If your baby is self-settling at the start of her naps,

she might happily self-settle during the lunch nap
and overnight. If not, leave her for at least 15
minutes then get her up and continue with your day
as per the instructions in the Sleeping and Feeding
Guide.



89
Once your baby is settling better at the START of naps and

bedtime, after around 3 days, move on to the next stage of
the process.


90
STAGE THREE:
bedtime

naps and bedtime with you sitting across the room
from them.
2. Now you will move to the door of the room.
3. Some babies might be fine with you leaving the

room at this point.

to soothe.
5. If your baby is self-settling at the start of her naps,

she might happily self-settle during the lunch nap
and overnight. If not, leave her for at least 15
minutes then get her up and continue with your day
as per the instructions in the Sleeping and Feeding
Guide.



91
STAGE FOUR:
bedtime and overnight.

naps and bedtime with you sitting next to them.
2. Now you will leave the room.

to soothe, but make sure you leave the room again
each time. If you can talk to your baby over your
baby monitor, this is a good option.
4. From this point onwards, if your baby is self-settling

at the start of her naps without you needing to use
voice to soothe, she might happily self-settle during
the lunch nap and overnight. If not, leave her for at
least 15 minutes. If they don’t or are crying up, then
get her up and continue with your day as per the
instructions in the Sleeping and Feeding Guide.
5. This is when you can now tackle any remaining

night wakes as per the instructions on the next
page:


92

bedtime without you needing to use voice to soothe AND
you are not needing to stay in the room while they fall
asleep, their night waking may have significantly reduced
as they will be able to self-settle here too.
If, however, your baby is over 6 months, weighs more than

7kg/15.5lb , is on 2 meals of solids a day and is waking for
more than one feed (or resettle) in the night you can start
to respond to these additional wakes with voice to soothe
bedtime without your help.

your baby wakes, leave them to settle themselves back to
sleep. If they get upset and its been more than 6 minutes,
use voice to soothe. Repeat as necessary but do not feed
or cuddle them to sleep.


93
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Crying
by crying.

recommend waiting 6 minutes before using touch or voice
to soothe.
Once calm, if your baby starts crying again wait 8 minutes.

Repeat the process and then wait 10 minutes and so on.

soothe your baby at any stage, just bear in mind the
process will take longer and you will need to be careful
you’re not continuing to soothe/pat/cuddle your baby to
sleep long-term. You need to still be progressing through
the stages.


94
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING

and Feeding Guide.
“Giving up” and resorting to soothing your baby back to

sleep is only teaching them to cry for longer to get what
they want. The older your baby is/gets, the longer than
can resist settling.


95
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
The Lunch Nap
get up!

If she doesn’t resettle get her up and use the notes in your
Sleeping and Feeding Guide to get through the rest of the
day.


96
NOTES AND
TROUBLESHOOTING
Overnight
your method.


drop feeds
feed.


97
EARLY MORNING WAKING

Dealing with a habit wake
If your baby is in an early waking habit, you will first need

to check their naps and night time sleep against the
relevant Sleeping and Feeding Guide for their age. Often a
toddler’s day sleep timing and length is the main cause of
an early wake.
If their napping is on track and you can rule out other

factors for early waking such as their room is getting too
light at that time of the morning, hunger or they are too
cold, you will need to tackle this habit wake.
There are three main factors that trigger a habit waking

response in us all: sunlight, food and communication. If
your baby is used to getting food or some form of
communication in the night or early morning it stimulates a
body clock trigger, like an alarm clock, which will continue
to go off at the same time each night/morning.
For a wake out of habit before 6 AM you need to teach

them it's not morning. If your baby sees you between 5-6
AM that makes them think it's time to get up and they get
into the habit of waking then. This means you can't go into
the room during the process of breaking the habit wake. It
will take at least three days to break the habit.


98
Day One: when they wake leave them for as long as

possible. When they get upset say your sleep phrase, for
example "it’s sleepy time" either over a baby monitor or
from outside their door and repeat it until they calm down,
then leave them. Repeat this process for at least 10
minutes (saying your sleep phrase if they are upset until
they calm). After 10 minutes get them up.
Day Two: do exactly the same as day one, but for 10

minutes more than the day before. If they calm down keep
going for longer. This day they might go back to sleep
closer to 7 AM.
Day Three: do the same as the day before but for 10

minutes longer. Keep saying the sleep phrase if they get
upset until they calm down. They should go back to sleep.
Day Four: continue the same method and add 10 minutes.

Some babies won’t wake early today.
The first two days are the hardest, but it will break the
habit.
For days they don't go back to sleep, follow the early

morning waking times for their nap as per the instructions
in the Sleeping and Feeding Guide.


99
Rouse to Sleep
Another option for getting rid of a habit wake either in the
night or in the early morning is to set an alarm for 1 hour
before your baby would normally wake. You’d go into their
room and rouse them slightly by touching their head or
arm. They will surface out of their deep sleep but not wake
fully and should reset back into the start of a new sleep
cycle. Do this for a few days and they will stop waking at
that time.
This can also be used to resettle in the lunch nap if your

baby struggles to link sleep cycles. Rouse them 15 minutes
before the end of their sleep cycle and they should go
through into another sleep cycle.


100
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6 To 12 Month Self Settling Guide 2017

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SLEEP HABITS AND ASSOCIATIONS .............................................. 8

SETTING UP THE SLEEP ENVIRONMENT ...................................11

SLEEP & STRESS HORMONES ........................................................16

OVER AND UNDER TIREDNESS.....................................................19

YOUR BABY WILL NOT SETTLE OR SLEEP IF: ...........................25

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ...............................................28

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QUICK METHOD ................................................................................45

FED TO SLEEP BABIES ......................................................................53

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ROCKED/HELD TO SLEEP BABIES ................................................63

CO-SLEEPING BABIES .......................................................................72

PARENT-PRESENCE BABIES ............................................................84

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VOICE TO SOOTHE, START OF NAPS AND BEDTIME .............................91

EARLY MORNING WAKING .............................................................98

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Throughout the Guide are clickable links to help you better

You need to choose which method to follow depending on

There is a Quick Method, which involves some controlled

Over 6 months your baby understands what you are

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Before starting this Guide, please ensure:

ü Your baby is at least 6 months old

Please use the GLOSSARY to help during this process.

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SLEEP HABITS AND

Sleep habits are very easily formed in babies older than 3

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association isn’t there they will not be able to go back to

We can categorise the tools babies use/require to get to

Baby controlled sleep associations are things that a baby

Parent controlled sleep associations are things that a

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If a baby is relying on parent controlled sleep

Sleep cycles explained

Some babies wake fully between sleep cycles from this

If a baby relies on a parent-controlled sleep association to

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SETTING UP THE SLEEP

Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary to sleep

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For babies older than 3 or 4 months, napping in anything

We have a variety of white noise tracks available through

Baby sleeping bag/sleep sack

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hunger or a settling issue and end up feeding or rocking or

Here is a useful clothing and temperature guide for

Room Winter Weight Mid Weight Summer Tog Rated

Short 0.5 tog

Short Long 1.0 tog

Long 1.0 tog

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