ELEMENTS OF BALANCE 53

TABLE 6

OUTER IMAGE

ADAPTABLE LOOKING

EP
Extraversion and Perception
active and energetic
seeks novel experiences
informal and spontaneous
often uninhibited, likes rapid tempo

IP
Introversion and Perception
adventurous but reserved
changeable, nonconforming
restless and individualistic
tends to delay action

DECISIVE LOOKING

EJ
Extraversion and Judgment
fast moving and energetic
confident looking and charming
often conforms
talkative, sometimes blustery
conscientious
IJ
Introversion and Judgment
introspective and persevering
often quiet and modest
deferent but hard to convince
may overcontrol impulses

Viewing this issue through the lens of type, an important

insight leaps out. Regardless of preference for Introversion or
Extraversion, a special motivation for engaging with the world is set
in motion when the external orientation (J or P) interacts with its
matching Extraverted function; consequently, all energy is directed
externally and with the same purpose. When the Perceiving orien-
tation interacts with either Sensing or Intuition (whichever is the
preferred perceiving mode), or when the Judging orientation inter-
54 I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M JUST NOT YOU

TABLE 7

MOTIVATORS

SP

Sensing With Perception

adaptable realist
focused on the present
seeks new, present experiences
adapts to immediate situation
efficient with personal energy
keen awareness of the present
believer in economy of effort

If natural motivators are denied may become

distracted, inattentive, unstable, lazy

NP

Intuition With Perception

adaptable innovator
independent
seeks out new challenges
unconventional
challenging
fluent and expressive
nonconforming
imaginative
original

If natural motivators are denied may become

fickle, pleasure seeking, distractible, unable to delay gratification, restless

acts with either Thinking or Feeling (whichever is the preferred

judgment mode) there is an inspired cooperation between the two,
as if each is egging the other on to heights unattainable by either
one alone. So, the motivating interactions are SP, NP, TJ, and FJ.
For SP and NP the motivation/exhilaration may be experi-
enced as a sense of limitlessness, flow, and lack of boundaries, like
a fully rigged ship on a smooth, wide ocean under a clear sky with
perfect winds at your back. For FJ and TJ the exhilaration may be
experienced as a keen sense of steady accomplishment with clear-
ly defined needs, parameters, and priorities. Their ship has navi-
 ELEMENTS OF BALANCE 55

TABLE 7 (CONTINUED)

MOTIVATORS

FJ

Feeling With Judgment

benevolent administrator
responsive
observant of people and their needs
informal
expressive and energized in relationships

If natural motivators are denied may become

overly evaluative of others’ motivations, preoccupied

TJ

Thinking With Judgment

logical decision maker

tough-minded
analytical
executive
critical, often skeptical
precise
deliberate
steady
ambitious

If natural motivators are denied may become

tense, stern, hardheaded, dominant, conceited

gated the ocean, has land in sight, and is using the wind to execute
the perfect docking.
When people were given the instructions, “List the adjectives
that describe what your experiences are when the moment is ‘just
right’; what are you typically engaged in doing, or not doing, when
this feeling is triggered?” the ensuing descriptors (shown in table 7)
match those of the interactions of orientations and the associated
function (SP, NP, TJ, FJ). In addition, when asked to consider what
might become of this motivated spirit if it is denied, there is a list of
“may becomes.” When these natural motivators are kept at bay for
any great length of time those behaviors may emerge.
58 I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M JUST NOT YOU

TABLE 8

INNER TENSIONS

NJ

Intuition With Judgment

visionary decision maker
persistent
strives toward inner vision
driving
determined
sensitive about demands
often seen as thorough and industrious

If stuck in this “psychological place” may become

hardheaded, fussy, blustery

SJ

Sensing With Judgment

realistic decision maker
steady
reliable
seeks order in the environment
dislikes ambiguity
stable
conforming
fastidious
often moralistic
favors conservative values
does the “correct thing”

If stuck in this “psychological place” may become

overcontrolled, opportunistic, intolerant, unable to recognize their own anxiety

weighed their internal energy that was trying to alert them to prob-
lems elsewhere. Many of the SJs argued that they don’t make bad
decisions, but acknowledged that some of their decisions are made
based on poor information. After confiding about their bad marital
experiences, these same women said they had never revealed them
before out of fear that others would see them as crazy.
In another example, an INFP visiting a large city 1,200 miles
from home decided to visit a special store to purchase gifts for his
 ELEMENTS OF BALANCE 59

TABLE 8 (CONTINUED)

INNER TENSIONS

TP

Thinking With Perception

analytical and skeptical
associates ideas in unusual ways
tolerant
often seen as clever
enjoys orderly frameworks
enjoys the environment
observant and curious

If stuck in this “psychological place” may become

hasty, evasive, self-indulgent

FP

Feeling With Perception

affiliative and adaptable
tolerant
relatively uncontrolled expression
responsive and softhearted
enjoys humor

If stuck in this “psychological place” may become

impulsive, distractible, hasty

two children. The store sold only stuffed animals—thousands of

them. Every day for four days he went to the store on lunch breaks
and after dinner and reviewed all of the choices. A friend who
accompanied him observed that he was methodical, calm, and
focused on making the decision, and spent an enormous amount
of time looking for the right animals, the ones that felt right for his
kids. Inside, however, he was anything but calm, methodical, and
focused—more like confused, distracted, and irritated at himself.
He simply could not decide. The reason was that his Perceptive
mode took in all the information and the judgment function
evaluated all the options, which leads to indecision. Like the
ESTJ/ESFJ women, the INFP felt crazy—they were simple child’s
gifts, after all!
 ELEMENTS OF BALANCE 61

TABLE 9

COGNITIVE CORE

ST

Sensing With Thinking

tough-minded
reasonable
matter-of-fact
practical
verifies facts—weighs, measures
orderly
self-controlled
power oriented
self-satisfied
internally consistent

If often kept from the preferred plan may become

overcontrolled, rigid, intolerant, overly conventional,
delay gratification unnecessarily

NT

Intuition With Thinking

psychologically minded
ingenious
analytical
focuses on theoretical relationships
likes autonomy
often clever
has defined interests
pride of objectivity
methodically attentive to theory, model

If often kept from the preferred plan may become

argumentative, overconfident, indifferent or wary, condescending

provides a place to begin understanding oneself and others in the

context of normal human development. It takes extraordinary
courage to own one’s habits of mind and to recognize their limita-
tions. It takes tremendous energy to seek to stretch beyond these
habits and tendencies in order to fulfill your potential. But such
courage and energy are the stuff of moral character, available to all
but accessed by few.
62 I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M JUST NOT YOU

TABLE 9 (CONTINUED)

COGNITIVE CORE
SF

Sensing With Feeling

factually oriented
gentle and modest
seeks to meet needs
expresses personal warmth
seen as compassionate
responsible
conscientious
patient with detail
focuses on things concretely affecting others

If often kept from the preferred plan may become

overly conventional, formal, despondent, or have extremely narrow interests

NF

Intuition With Feeling

tender minded
enthusiastic
insightful
seeks new projects, complexity
flexible
identifies symbolic and theoretical relationships
aesthetic
inventive, nonconforming
unconventional thought processes

If often kept from the preferred plan may become

snobbish, self-pitying, withdrawn, fearful, anxious, dreamy, distractible