Sample written feedback (essay)

Name: Diego
Sub-genre: Discursive and solution hybrid
Time: 40 minutes
Word count: 270
Dictionary: 0
Task: People naturally resist making changes in their lives.
What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
(From: IELTS Writing Skills: Unit 1/Practice test/Task 2; McCarter and Whitby (2006),
Macmillan)

Were people to take a life changing decision, they always fear the changes it could bring. But
what problems can resisting change can bring? And what is the best way to overcome this fear?
In the next paragraphs it will be discussed the disadvantages of fearing change and possible ways
to fight this fear.

One disadvantage that fearing change can bring up is the lack of confidence when making
decisions. For example, when people is presented with an important opportunity for their career.
They would hesitate to take this chance, due to the changes that implies.

Another disadvantage is that resisting change is one of the reasons why people create a routine
life-style. Take people with a preferred method for solving a task for example. Their fear forces
them to avoid trying new methods, as they feel secure using their predefined method. This is why
fear of change can interfere with people’s personal life.

One possible solution to address this issue is to create personal goals. For instance, a person who
have multiple goals to achieve. The goals pursue would make him overcome all of his fears,
including fear of change.

Another solution can be implementing changes in small doses. For example, changing non-
significant habits, such as people’s daily means of transport. This small change would help a
person overcome their fear of change, as it is not a significant alteration to their life-style.

Overall, resisting change can interfere with our confidence and force us to create a routine. This
is why it is important to overcome this fear through different strategies, akin to pursuing personal
goals or making small changes.
Assessment:

Task achievement: 7
Coherence and cohesion: 6.5
Lexical resource: 7
Grammatical range and accuracy: 6.5

Overall: 7

Comments:

1, +: Sub-genre(s) correctly identified and executed, well done!

2, +: Your timing and word count are excellent, congratulations.
3, -: Pay more attention to collecting/organizing your ideas and examples at the brainstorming
and drafting stage better to avoid issues with poor reasoning/causality and weak exemplification.
4, -: Edit your sentences more carefully to avoid writing ‘sentences’ that are grammatically
incomplete.