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https://upliftconnect.com/help-people-depression/
After years of others gaslighting me, I unknowingly started gaslighting myself. Many times I’d
feel incapacitated and I’d punish myself further with self-harm, both physically and mentally.
“You shouldn’t feel this way. Nothing happened for you to feel this way.”
Instead of asking somebody “what happened,” the same good intentions can be accomplished
by saying this: “I’m sorry that you’re depressed, and there’s nothing wrong with you for
feeling this way.”
The reason why this is important to say is because there are many stigmas and a lot of
shame associated with having depression. Depression is horrible enough to experience on its
own, and adding shame to it is an unnecessary burden.
You are helping to minimize the shame and reminding them that while their experiences are
difficult, their reality is also valid, and their worth as a person stays intact no matter how many
depressive spells they have.
You are helping to minimize the shame.
4. ‘You Should Get Up and Do Something!’
What many people don’t realize is just how debilitating depression can be. Last year, I went
back to look at my calendar, and I realized that for a full year, I had called out sick from work
once a month around the same day every month. Those days, my depression was so severe
that I couldn’t even get out of bed.
When I told people that I was suffering from debilitating depression, their inclination was to
tell me to get up and leave the house. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Go to the store.
Socialize with friends.
While I appreciate their intentions, I always felt like they didn’t really believe me when I told
them about how horrible these spells can get. They would try to relate to me with stories
about how sad they’ve felt at certain instances in their lives and how, by leaving the house,
their sadness went away.
The thing is, I completely understood what they were trying to say. They were trying to tell me
that by staying cooped up in my apartment, I was making my depression worse. There may be
a grain of truth to this, but they were missing the point entirely.
Depression is more than a feeling. It can be an all-encompassing heaviness that has real
physical manifestations, such as lethargy, periodic crying, headaches, and nausea. What
they’re telling me is that I can overcome “sadness,” and this was insulting because there have
been many instances when I had gone to work while being sad, or had forced myself to leave
the house when I didn’t feel well.
Once again, depression and sadness are not the same things, and they thought that they had
the magic cure for my experiences.
What many people don’t realize is just how debilitating depression can be.
Instead of trying to make someone “do” something, you can instead say this: “Try to
be patient with yourself.” If people’s intents are to speed up the recovery process, it
may seem counterintuitive to tell someone to be patient with themselves. It goes
against our “tough love” culture which tells us that any sign of vulnerability is a form
of weakness. Patience and self-care are dismissed as passive options for weak
people.
The reality is, the only times I’ve ever been able to power through depressive spells has been
through patience and self-care. By taking the pressure off myself that I “had” to get better as
soon as I could, I was able to slow down, breathe, and process my depression at my own
pace.
I didn’t have to worry about a friend of mine making me feel even worse for being debilitated,
as if I didn’t already feel horrible and useless enough. The self-criticisms only kept me in bed
for even longer, because I spent so much time trying to talk myself into believing that I should
be “getting better” more quickly if I were more physically proactive.
Sometimes, that just isn’t possible.
It may seem counterintuitive to tell someone to be patient with themselves.
You should try to be compassionate when communicating with someone who suffers from
depression, because chances are, they’re finding it hard to feel compassion for themselves.
Don’t make it even more difficult.
I believe that although depression doesn’t necessarily have a “cure,” it can be more
manageable depending on the support people receive from their friends, family, and loved
ones. Now that I’ve done away with people who utilize “tough love” tactics, my spells are
absolutely easier to cope with than they ever have been.
Depression is still crushingly difficult, but the despair doesn’t feel quite as heavy, because my
current friends don’t invalidate my experiences.
By using more compassionate language, they make me feel less alone.
Conversely, tough love always made me feel even lonelier, more ashamed, and burdensome
on everybody in my life. I firmly believe that most people don’t want their depressed friends
and family to feel this way, and hopefully, by providing more compassionate language in place
of “tough love,” people can feel validated and loved – and they can feel less alone.
https://upliftconnect.com/countering-stress-depression/
There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek.
The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred,
even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that,
all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of
determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this
marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in
positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realising we have this great
human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism
that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without
losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
https://upliftconnect.com/creative-brains-depression/
We experience the world with a different viewpoint: we question, ponder, and analyze.
This can, unfortunately, lead to feelings of isolation, social alienation, or depression because
we are different, and maybe because we feel we are strange or weird.
What might seem a ‘normal’ environment, for a creative type, can be stressful and introverted
in our complicated approach to society.
https://upliftconnect.com/ancient-cure-depression/
The Cure
Though he’s not entirely opposed to medication, Ildari says we can throw all the drugs in the
world at the depression epidemic, and it won’t make a dent.
Anti depressant use has gone up 300 percent in the last 20 years, but the rate of depression
has continued to increase. One in nine Americans over age 12 is currently taking an
antidepressant, and one in five have been on them at some point.
The rise in youth depression
The answer, Ildari says, is a change in lifestyle. He says the results of his six step program
have exceeded his wildest dreams:
1. Exercise
2. Omega 3 Fatty Acids
3. Sunlight
4. Healthy Sleep
5. Anti-ruminative activity
6. Social connection
In his presentation, he emphasized the importance of exercise and social connection, as they
are two of the hardest parts of the program for modern Americans.
Social Connection
Another huge factor in modern depression is the lack of social connection in our modern
nuclear-family bubbles. “Face-time with our loved ones puts the breaks on our stress
response,” Ildari says.
The problem is we’ve replaced face-time with screen-time.
Our hunter gatherer ancestors spent all day every day in the company of their loved ones.
Unfortunately illness, including mental illness, triggers people to isolate themselves, which only
makes depression worse.
“Resist the urge to withdraw,” Ildari says, “because when you’re ill, your body tells you to shut
down and pull away. When you have the flu, that’s adaptive. When you have depression, it’s
the worst thing in the world you could do”.
https://upliftconnect.com/talking-about-depression/
Every thirty seconds someone in the world takes their own life because of depression.
Today this silent epidemic is affecting more and more people across the globe.
And the severity of depression is largely unknown as no-one is talking about it and millions are
suffering in silence.
https://youtu.be/-Qe8cR4Jl10
Kevin Breel was just a teenager when he shared his moving and heartfelt story about his
journey with depression. He is now the author of the memoir: Boy meets Depression.
A high achiever, captain of his sports team, popular with lots of friends, and a stand-up
comedian, Kevin was the last person people would imagine to have depression.
But, as he says: “Beneath my smile there was the struggle, beneath my light there was dark,
and beneath my personality there hid an even bigger pain”.
Depression is not something you feel when something in your life goes wrong, real depression
is being sad when everything in your life is going right. Listen to his powerful talk on how we
all should be speaking about this massive problem in order to solve it.
https://upliftconnect.com/antidote-for-depression/
Depression is the unavoidable by-product of not being who you really are
It is no secret that depression is a worldwide epidemic, but did you know that a hidden cause
of depression is the fear of self-expression? If you often sacrifice self-expression in exchange
for acceptance, appreciation or approval – or to avoid negative consequences like rejection or
conflict – you may become depressed.
Every time you shut down self-expression in order to get your emotional needs met by others,
you are actually rejecting your Real Self – cutting yourself off from your intrinsic source of
energy and power, and thereby diminishing your natural state of peace, joy and love.
The result is often what we refer to as depression.
But, why would we ever do this to ourselves?
From birth we are taught to believe that in order to be accepted, appreciated, or to get any
emotional needs met, it is necessary to follow a set of rules, regulations and limiting beliefs
that were handed down to us from parents, teachers, religion, culture and society.
If we fear that others will withhold love and approval if we don’t conform, we are likely to
restrict our self-expression whenever it contradicts with the pre-existing ideals of those around
us. We may even feel as if our survival is at risk – making us believe that self-suppression is a
better choice than self-expression. Unfortunately, when you constantly repress your Real Self,
there is a huge unseen price to pay.
Depression is the unavoidable by-product of not being who you really are and a
direct result of repressing your Real Self.
Is depression a result of repressing your Real Self?
When The Need For Peace Turns into Depression
Yes, it can be wonderful to choose peace over adversity, but if you are habitually choosing
peace in order to avoid conflict, you may be sacrificing your Real Self.
Negating yourself or your preferences, in order to avoid conflict with others, may sound
evolved and selfless on the surface, but when we look deeper, we see that continuously closing
yourself down in order to avoid conflict causes chronic depression.
Self-expression is a sign of spiritual evolution.
Self-expression allows the Divine to shine through you like a priceless work of art.
Choosing peace over expression just might mean repressing Divinity.
Indeed, sometimes being our Real Selves causes others to feel uncomfortable and maybe even
to judge us for being different – and on occasion there could be conflict.
This is all true, but what is also true is that when you have the courage to express your Real
Self, you call forth a higher version of reality where you can truly be your Real Self.
Yes, this might mean overcoming the opinions of others on the way to this vibrant new land of
expression but it is nothing you can’t handle. When you get there, you will discover that there
is nothing easier than just being yourself. The people in your life will learn your new song and
the steps to your new dance, and many of them will sing and dance along with you, and those
who don’t will simply go on their merry way.
Your only job is to be You. If you are not going to be You, then who will?
Being You requires that you follow your joy, listen to your heart, and express yourself in all
ways that feel like YOU.
The importance of being your Real Self
Embrace Soul-Worth
When you base your self-worth on possessions, accomplishments or how you think others see
you, your worth is transient – and it remains inaccessible, as long as it depends on external
things. This type of artificial worth invokes fear and anxiety, even when you are experiencing
what you consider success. But how can you be your Real Self if your worth is contingent on
things you cannot control?
The greatest healing is to own your worth. Stop giving it away and stop looking for proof
outside of yourself. Look deep inside. Your worth is guaranteed and unconditional.
You have worth just for being. This is Soul-Worth! When you remember that worth is intrinsic
and unconditional, you gain access to personal freedom, where it doesn’t matter what the
world thinks or says. Imagine having the freedom to discover yourself and ultimately the
freedom of glorious expression.
Re-align Relationships
When you make the conscious choice to be the Real You, you may disrupt the dynamics of
current relationships where you have not been your Real Self. Some of your relationships will
begin to improve, while others will naturally fall away. It is normal to focus on what you might
lose but there is so much more to gain when you align with who you really are.
The relationships that remain and the new ones that will ultimately show up will be more
satisfying than you ever imagined. It is only by being who you really are that you can truly
connect with others. The most essential aspect of any connection is the Real You.
When you have the courage to be the Real You, positive energy infiltrates everyone around
you. As you express your Real Self, you invite others to do the same.
If you want to be the change you want to see in the world, this is it!
Small acts of self-expression every day can lead to emotional freedom
Practice Expression
When we are depressed, it is easy to go further and further into seclusion, but that only makes
us feel worse. Chances are, if you are going into seclusion, you are excluding more and more
things, people and opportunities from your life – this adds up to deeper depression.
When our lives are not an expression of our Real Selves, it is easy to shut down to everything,
but in order to rise above depression, it is important to include things in your life that might
make you feel better. You don’t have to expect huge changes in yourself overnight – you just
have to move step-by-step in the direction of self-expression.
If you practice even small acts of self-expression every day, you will naturally gravitate toward
emotional freedom. Dance, sing, paint, draw, write, make a video, dress in ways that make
you feel more like you, or express your hidden gifts and talents. Any expression of you will do!
Set Boundaries
Believe it or not, boundaries allow you to be more of who you really are. When you set and
enforce boundaries, it allows others to understand what is acceptable and not acceptable to
you and what they can expect from you. When you say “no” and mean it, you free up time and
energy to say “yes” to all those things that are an expression of who you really are.
What boundaries do you need in order to be your Real Self? Keep in mind that some of the
most important boundaries are the boundaries that you will set with yourself, for example, I
will not judge, criticize or limit myself in any way.
Meditate
In order to get reconnected with your Real Self, you need to go inside.
Meditation is one of the most direct routes to get there, and, as a by-product, it will allow you
to connect with your sixth sense as well.
Be In Nature
One of the reasons that it is so powerful to be in nature is that it is believed that the natural
DMT in your body communicates with the DMT in nature and this helps to rebalance your body,
mind and spirit.
Breatheeeeee
When we are depressed, our breath tends to be shallow. Breathing deeply for even ten
minutes a day can bring life back into your body. You can even imagine breathing in golden
light energy to all the cells of your being.
Express Emotion
When we repress emotions, over a long period of time, we become depressed. In order to heal
from depression, it is usually necessary to express your emotions. Often, beneath depression
is repressed anger that needs to rise and clear. You don’t need to be afraid of anger, as it is a
step up from despair. There are no good or bad emotions. They are all beautiful gifts of
expression.
Wake Up
You cannot be depressed and ‘awake’ at the same time, no matter how much you know about
being awake. You can only wake up by getting plugged into the source of who you really are –
and fully expressing that source.
When you make a commitment to being your Real Self, you access the power to naturally
transmute depression through the power of self-expression.
At first, you may not be able to discern between the Real You and the false you, but this is
only because you have grown accustomed to acting in ways that perpetuate the false you.
Being the Real You requires a daily analysis of what supports and empowers you and what
doesn’t. It’s like using an internal navigational device to set, and re-set, your course over and
over again – until you finally know your destination in life.
As the Real You naturally surfaces over time, your path will become clear and your choices will
seamlessly align with who you really are.
https://upliftconnect.com/depression-and-inflammation/
https://upliftconnect.com/treating-depression-with-tribal-wisdom/
https://upliftconnect.com/are-you-a-shaman/
There are many people who claim to be but what does it actually take?
Are you a shaman? Let’s be honest: Probably not. Feel free to get angry and defensive, but let
me talk through this.
A lot of people claim to be shamans in the Mongolian style. Most of them have read books by
Michael Harner or Sarangerel. They say that they were “initiated by their spirits” and “felt their
calling” and so forth. It doesn’t work like that.
Editor’s Note: The term ‘Shaman’ comes from the Tungusic language of Siberia and describes
those working in the Siberian/Mongolian tradition. The term was imported to the West via
Russia in the 16th Century.
Although it has been widely used to describe a complex phenomenon across many traditions, it
has often been used very loosely and is rarely used by other indigenous practitioners to
describe their practices. This article, though you may not agree with the author’s point of view,
represents an argument that the Mongolian shamans we contacted agreed with.
In order to avoid confusion, many people practicing similar, but different, traditions are
choosing to call themselves ‘Shamanic practitioners’, rather than ‘Shamans’.
https://ongodtengertei.tumblr.com/post/130539725016/shamanic-illness
https://upliftconnect.com/shamanic-view-of-mental-health/
‘It’s something the person is going to come out of and be stronger in the end.’
Trauma: Thankfully, even in the western model there is a strong surge of recognition
occurring around the fact that trauma and neglect in childhood (and in adulthood) can lead to
serious mental health crisis.
We had a lot of trouble with western mental health workers who came here immediately after
the genocide and we had to ask some of them to leave. They came and their practice did not
involve being outside in the sun where you begin to feel better. There was no music or
drumming to get your blood flowing again. There was no sense that everyone had taken the
day off so that the entire community could come together to try to lift you up and bring you
back to joy. There was no acknowledgement of the depression as something invasive and
external that could actually be cast out again.Instead they would take people one at a time
into these dingy little rooms and have them sit around for an hour or so and talk about bad
things that had happened to them. We had to ask them to leave.
– A Rwandan talking to writer, Andrew Solomon
The Bridge Between Two Worlds – Sickness or Acute Sensitivity?
Dr Joseph Polimeni states that ‘In most traditional societies those persons who were overcome
by hallucinations in young adulthood were more often than not destined to become shamans’.
If someone presented with symptoms we would call psychosis, the people of their tribe or
village would send them for training with someone who had learned a level of mastery over the
sensitivity that once overwhelmed them. Phil Borges states that ‘they have a mentor; they
have somebody who has been through this process that can take and hold their hand and say
listen, I know what this is all about and this is how you manage it’. In cultures around the
world, before western civilisation the idea of schizophrenia as a disease was, quite simply,
non-existent. The assumption was that a person experiencing the challenges known in modern
times as psychosis was in fact experiencing things that were actually real, but only able to
perceived by those who were gifted.
They have a community that buys into what they’ve gone through, and not only that, they
have an outlet for their talents – and many of these people have specific talents that the
normal person doesn’t have.
– Phil Borges, maker of upcoming film CrazyWise
To me it is clear that we live in a culture that immediately labels these moments of crisis as
sickness, and our culture has almost no level of acceptance for the people that go through
it. When face to face with a person experiencing involuntary states of non-ordinary
consciousness, most of us – to put it bluntly – just want them away from us. It’s almost as if
we fear that ‘crazy’ is contagious and we want it quarantined. It’s unfortunate that this
approach may be compounding the problem, however another way forward is re-
awakening. When I look at a person in such a crisis, I see a future potential mentor for
others. The more we can assist people in passing through their dark night of the soul, the
more guides we will have with lived experience to help others come through in the future. In
an upcoming article I’ll be writing about how shamanic training can assist people going through
‘spiritual emergency’.
For peer support and further information of this kind you can join The Shamanic View Of
Mental Illness on Facebook.
*We are aware that the term ‘Native American shamanism’ is culturally inappropriate. We are
also aware that the term ‘shaman’ as a blanket term is contentious due to issues around
cultural appropriation and will be exploring this topic in detail in a later article.
https://upliftconnect.com/integral-dreaming-collective-awakening/
A turtle born on the beach knows to walk to the sea, birds know their migration
routes, and whales have new songs to sing each year
These and other phenomena point to the idea that there is an innate wisdom in nature. There
is an emergent potential in creation that is often overlooked. How do things begin and what
are the precursors to birthing something new? When we look to the source of human
inventions, we see that visions and dreams are usually at the source of creating something
new. Science-fiction and fantasy stories from 50 years ago are now everyday realities for us.
The vast realm of our unconscious is latent with information that is yet to be manifested into
this world. How do we access it? Dreaming and meditation seem to be two potent ways to
access this information, while ceremony and art are the traditional ways that humans engage,
to enact this innate wisdom.
The overlapping space between the academic/scientific research and the artistic exploration of
dreaming is one of endless curiosity and depth. I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon
with two pioneers in the field, Anthony Colombo and Daniel Deslauriers, and our talks seeded
what will become an ongoing discussion about the topic. I invite other bloggers, artists,
academics, and dreamers of all sorts to join us in putting our heads, hearts, and stories
together for this exciting journey of discovery!
By dialoguing with the dream image- and with others about our dreams- we cultivate the skill
to take on multiple perspectives- that of self and of the culture for example- and we gain a
greater awareness of the roles we enact culturally. -Fariba Bogzaran and Daniel Deslauriers in
Integral Dreaming, a Holistic Approach to Dreams
Anthony Colombo is Founder of Dreamspace, which guides groups through an immersive
experience where participants engage the brilliance of their dreams and imagination to co-
create the lives they truly want. Anthony has produced award-winning cultural and
environmental multimedia and taught interactive multimedia design, production and ethics as
a university professor. He has also worked closely with indigenous elders in Arizona and
Hawaii.
Dreaming comes to life when we collectively use our inner creative brilliance to co-create the
vibrant planet we all want. The greatest resource we have lives in the infinite potential of the
human spirit, imagination and dreams. -Anthony Colombo