(Dear Brother, Please read this, it is really good for your life with Wife)

Prophet Mohammad (SalAllahu alaihi wassalam) said, “the best amongst you are the
ones who are best to their wives.” So dear muslim brother! Your obligations towards
your wife are not limited to earn money and support her financially. A wife needs love
from her husband, and emotional support to.

10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband

Prepared by Muhammad AlShareef, Reprinted from Islamway.com.
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time us men went shopping for
designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband
to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with
Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

(Dress up for your wife when you are at home also. Some brothers only dress up
when they go out and that is not a good practice. A husband should dress up for his
wife when they are at home. it makes a wife feel special)

2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his
wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that
hurt their feelings.

(Remember, you are your wife’s only boyfriend, and her only best friend. She does
not go out seeking boyfriends and she shares a halal relationship with you. Love her
unconditionally for the sake of Allah. And express your love to her. A woman likes to
be told that she is loved. Call her from your work to make sure she is doing fine. I
have seen my dad calling my mother several times a day, just to make sure she has
been eating well. And my husband calls me at least twice from work to make sure I
am doing well. These things are very important in a relationship.)

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a
wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug'
him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

(Whenever there is a fight or argument, just remember all the things she does for
you. she cooks for you, she takes care of your home, she takes care of your children
and the most important thing is that she guards her modesty. So do not upset her if
she is upset with you. hold her and tell her that you love her. Only your love can repel
her anger. Communicate with her and discuss with her if there is any
misunderstanding.)

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul
Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi
Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
(Do not criticize her all the time. Trust her and trust her decisions. If she is doing
something that you don’t like, or that goes against the teachings of Islam, then do
advice her gently.)

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is
not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also
those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah,
even if he was fasting.

(Do let your wife know that you are very happy and blessed to have her. A wife
always wonder how her husband feels about her. She may have some insecurity about
you, so make her feel secure. Always give her a hug whenever you come back from
work. appreciate her and thank her for taking care of everything whole day. If you
are not too tired, go out for star gazing for an hour or so.)

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your
house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only
acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank
her!

(Write thank you notes for her and place those notes in her books, her purse, her
socks, and anything else that belongs to her. You can use your own creativity to thank
her. You can thank her by writing something on a mirror with her lipstick, so that
she can read it when she wakes up in the morning. You can also thank her by
arranging a candlelight dinner AT HOME, you be the cook and let her rest. So far I
have learnt that a nice romantic dinner at home is much better than going out for
dinner. This way a couple saves themselves from many fitnahs. You can thank her by
writing her letters and emails. Remember, in Islam, everyday is special. So celebrate
wife’s day with her, and do it very often without having a particular date. She will
always wonder when the wife’s day is going to be. You can also give her a certificate
of appreciation, or a best wife award on wife’s day. Do everything by yourself that
day and let her rest, this way you will also know how difficult it could be to do
household chores. Thank her by building a webpage for her, write a note there and a
poem and then ask her to visit your webpage. Thank her by recording a voice
message on a cd for your wife. She will love it! Thank her by giving her a gift, and a
gift does not have to be expensive. Be creative! You do not have to give her Roses; you
can give her a leaf too! (My husband gave me a leaf once, instead of roses, and I was
very happy and surprised, and I appreciated his creativity). So remember, thoughtful
and creative gifts makes a wife feel secure and happy. Thank her by ordering a halal
pizza for her, ask the restaurant to cut it in a heart shape and have it delivered with a
personalized note. Thank her by thanking her in a family gathering. A woman likes it
when her husband gives her attention. If you visit her parents or your parents, hold
her hands and tell your parents how happy you are after marriage. Give your wife an
Islamic book as a gift after praying Tahajjud. Use your imagination and think about
unique gifts. Remember, she does not need a diamond; she needs your sincerity and
your heart, so always give her the gifts that are thoughtful. Whenever you do
something to make her happy, observe her facial ex-pressions and ask yourself about
how you feel when you become her happiness.)
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them
again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game,
ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

(Also ask her to write down the things you did that she did not like, or the things you
did that made her unhappy. Try to not do those things in future. If she falls ill, let her
lay down, and read different surahs from Qura’an while placing your hand on her
forehead. When I got sick, my husband recited Qura’an for me, it really helped a lot
mashaAllah. Remember, a wife needs her husband the most when she is not feeling
well. Take good care of her because a healthy wife makes a healthy family. Do not
expect too much from her when she is sick.)

8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their
wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi
Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears,
comforted her, and brought her the camel.

(If there is a time of sadness, give her your shoulder to cry on. Hold her and tell her
that everything will be fine. Alhamdulillah, my husband and my dad are amongst
those Muslim husbands who would even have tears in their eyes if their wives are sad.
Remember, a woman does not like to cry alone in a corner. She needs someone to
hold her when she is sad, so never let her feel lonely. Remind her the verses from
Qura’an that talks about Patience and Piety.)

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would
race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like
that?

(Sense of humor plays a very important role in a marital relationship. Most women
wish to have a husband who has a good sense of humor. Tell her decent and modest
jokes that make her happy. Wife appreciates it very much if her husband makes her
smile. You can play various games at home. Play with crayons, or have a pillow fight.
Or hide different notes in your bedroom and ask her to find it. Think of different
games you can both play. Do let her win sometimes! Do adopt interesting hobbies,
such as reading, cooking together and gardening (grow a surprise rose plant in your
garden, when you have the first rose blooming, take her to the garden and show it to
her).

Newspaper and Sports Issue!

Men like to watch sports, or read newspaper. Most Pakistani wives consider
newspaper as their co-wives. So be very careful. If you are watching sports, turn the
TV off if your wife comes around. Give her attention. Do not spend too much time
reading newspaper, and do not read newspaper on the breakfast table, rather have an
Islamic discussion. If you want to get her to like newspaper, then try to find
something that interests her. Such as, try to find news about Hijab. Or try to find
news about Muslim women for her.)
10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are
those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the
best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful.
And Allah ta'ala knows best!!

(And once again! Your wife is your best friend, and your girlfriend. Share everything
with her. Remember she is your garment and you are her garment, so hide her faults
and mistakes. Learn to forgive her. Also communicate a lot with her family. It really
makes a difference if husband communicates with his in laws. It helps both husband’s
and wife’s family to share a beautiful relationship. Respect her parents and show
your love to her family. This will inspire her to love and respect your family. If her
family is not Muslim, do dawah to them in a beautiful way.)

Spend lots of time praying to Allah swt. Do fast often even if it is not Ramadan.
Fasting brings patience and taqwah. Lead her in the prayer. There is nothing better
than praying together. Remember Allah, so that Allah remembers you.

May Allah bless us and guide us all. Aameen.

Ma’asalama