Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
Self-est eem covers many aspect s but basically it is your sense of self wort h. How
valuable you t hink you are as a person. If you want t o discover w hat your level of
self-est eem is t here are many t est s you can t ake and I have one on my w ebsit e at
However, you can ask yourself a simple quest ion and t he answer t o t his w ill t ell
If you t hink about t his quest ion carefully, your answers will t ell you a lot . You
should spend a bit of t ime t hinking about t his and t aking a few not es would be
You can’t see it , but it ’s t here w hen you look at yourself in t he mirror…
ESTEEM m eans:
• Value
• wort h
• confidence
• respect
• honour
So self-est eem is your awareness of all t hese about yourself. Let ’s t ake a few
minut es t o look at all t hese import ant point s above one by one.
Value
Everybody has an int ernal pict ure of t heir own value w it hin societ y. To have a
healt hy level of self-est eem you need t o have a good self opinion of yourself in
t erms of t he value t hat you have in your family. This is so im port ant . M uch of
your self est eem was formed in t he first place in t he family when you were a child
and as you grew up your level of self-est eem depended on t he role t hat you held
in your family. Whet her you are a fat her, mot her son or daught er you need t o
know t hat you are performing your role w ell and t o t he best of your abilit y and
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Enjoying t he first chapt er?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Your relat ionships wit hin t he family are very import ant in forming your ow n
opinions about your value t o t he ot her members of t he family. The respect t hat
you receive from your part ner or your children also comes int o t his.
M en and women have a lot of different st resses and expect at ions w it hin t he
fam ily and so a man, for example, w ho has lost his job and is unable t o provide for
his fam ily can suffer a drast ic fall in his self est eem because he believes t hat he is
not performing his dut y appropriat ely. Women, on t he ot her hand, have different
roles t o play but nonet heless if t hey are t aken advant age of, (as is oft en t he case
wit h wom en), low self est eem result s. Women usually have t he role of running
is a very st ereot yped view of course but it is st ill nonet heless t he norm ).
Women somet imes have so many demands placed on t hem, (especially nowadays
when women are also working and developing careers). This oft en means t hat
t hey have t o make choices and t he problem w it h choices is t hat if you are forced
t o make t hem against your desires you can suffer low self est eem .
The problem in fam ilies is t hat t here are so many conflict ing roles and
responsibilit ies t hat not everybody can alw ays t ake care of t heir ow n needs. This
oft en leads t o sit uat ions where people feel neglect ed or t hey feel t hat t heir needs
are not being respect ed. This is especially t he case wit h adolescent s and young
children who have lit t le t olerance for parent ’s ot her responsibilit ies and dut ies.
As children we need t o feel t hat we are valued. Whet her we feel valued or not as
children, depends on t he messages t hat w e get from our parent s. Children feel
valued when her parent s give t hem posit ive messages and t hey feel bad when
t hey receive negat ive messages. Parent s t hese days have many responsibilit ies
and wit h t he fast pace of life in t he modern world parent s oft en do not give
enough t ime t o t heir children and worse, when t hey ret urn home from work t ired
and st ressed it is very easy for t hem t o get angry and give t heir children negat ive
from low self-est eem and t his can cont inue int o adult hood.
If you suffered from negat ive messages as you grew up as a child and let ’s face it
we all have t o a cert ain ext ent , t hen you m ay st ill be suffering t oday and t his may
If you are a parent you should be aware of t he affect t hat your negat ive messages
have on your children. How oft en have you heard yourself saying t hings like:
“ You’re so lazy”
“ You never clean up your room”
And many ot her negat ive messages w hich repeat ed over a long period t ime really
affect your child. Think back t o w hen you were a child and t he messages you
received and you may underst and t hat perhaps you are st ill suffering from t he
Wort h
Your self-wort h is also import ant . When you t hink of t he job t hat you have and
t he t hings you do every day, do you believe t hat t hey are valuable t o t he world in
general?
The t hing about self wort h is t hat t he most im port ant t hing is what you t hink.
Your lack of self est eem is direct ly relat ed t o your own opinion of t he value of
what you do and who you are and t his is t ot ally wit hin your cont rol t o change. Of
course it is difficult if you are in a posit ion where you always receive negat ive
messages from your part ner, from members of your family or from colleagues at
work.
What we’ll do in t his book is t ry t o alt er t he way you t hink about yourself and
make you aware of how your t hinking affect s your abilit y t o achieve your pot ent ial
and reach your dreams. If you are serious about reaching t he goals t hat you have
set for yourself and you want a life filled wit h happiness t hen you must st art wit h
Self-Confidence is such an import ant aspect of self est eem because w it hout Self-
Confidence your self est eem w ill be ext remely low . Wit hout self belief you’ll be
defeat ed before you even get st art ed. Chances are t hat you may not even st art
difficult t hings because you will t alk yourself out of it . As soon as anybody else
t urns round t o you and gives you a negat ive message you will t end t o believe
t hem . In addit ion, low self confidence w ill mean t hat you are easily put off by
The reason why self-confidence and self-est eem are connect ed is because if you
have no self-belief and you doubt yourself and your capabilit ies you w ill not
challenge yourself and you will st ick wit h t hings which are safe. You w ill be
holding yourself back and a voice inside you will nag you because you will know
t he t rut h. The worst t hing in life is t o know t hat you are holding yourself back
because you are paralyzed wit h fear of failure. Lack of self confidence fills you
Fear of failure oft en means t hat you w ill fail because you w ill expect not hing else
and we all know t hat t hrough t he law of at t ract ion what you expect is w hat you
get .
High self-est eem enhances self confidence t hat enables a person t o int eract ,
To find out how you can boost your self confidence visit :
ht t p:/ / ww w .more-selfest eem.com/ self_confidence_t ips.ht m
Respect
Respect is anot her fact or which is highly import ant . Self est eem not only depends
on your ow n self respect but also depends on w hat you t hink ot hers t hink of you.
If a woman t hinks t hat her family does not respect her or t hat t hey do not list en t o
her t hen she will suffer from low self est eem.
It is t he same for you. You need t o feel t hat you are respect ed by ot hers and if
Honor
Self-est eem also depends on honor. What do I mean by t his? I mean t hat if you
believe t hat what you are doing is honorable you w ill have a high opinion of
yourself and you w ill value w hat you are doing and what you st and for.
Honor is somet hing w hich is based on honest y and prest ige. It is very difficult t o
experience higher self est eem if your work or t he act ivit ies you’re engaged in are
less t han honest or even dow nright wrong. However, even really bad people can
somet imes managed t o just ify w hat t hey do in t heir own m inds so honor is
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you serious about building your self est eem?
Get a copy now of my new e-book " Self Est eem Secret s" :
ht t p:/ / ww w .more-selfest eem.com/ ebook.ht m
Important :
The way you view and feel about yourself has a profound effect on how you live
your life.
Self-est eem involves your abilit y t o t hink, t o deal wit h life and t o be happy…
Okay, so self est eem is all about how you value yourself as a person…
“Yes, but w hy do I not value myself highly and w hy do I suffer from self esteem?
I just heard you ask t hat quest ion so I’ll t ry t o answer it . Even if you didn’t ask out
The reason why you do not value yourself as highly as you should is because of t he
const ant negat ive messages which you have received as you t hroughout your life.
If you hear somet hing oft en enough you begin t o believe it and especially as a
child when you are very prone t o believing what grow n-ups t ell you. The t ragedy
have last ed for such a long t ime t hat it may seem ext remely difficult t o solve t his
problem . Before you read any furt her, please underst and t hat it is never t oo lat e
and never t oo difficult t o t urn your life around. You can experience higher levels
of self-est eem but t here is no magic wand t hat I can wave and make your problem
go away….
You have t o work at it and keep a close eye on it because it somet hing t hat can
change from moment t o moment or day t o day. Not only will you need t o know
how t o quickly improve your level of self-est eem you will also need t o learn how
t o maint ain it and what t o do if you not ice yourself st art ing t o t hink negat ively or
There are so many t ricks and t ips t hat I can give you but in t he end how you feel
depends on your t hought s and your effort s and t hese t hings are t ot ally wit hin
When we t alk about self est eem we m ust also t alk about ot her t hings like self
belief and self confidence and as part of t he overall armour t hat you need t o put
I know how you feel w hen you suffer from self doubt , lack of confidence and low
self est eem because I have experienced t hem t oo. The feeling of hopelessness and
dread as you approach every new challenge. I want t o t ry t o help you t urn t his
around and go from t hese negat ive feelings t o boost ing your self confidence and
your life:
(There will be a sect ion like t his at t he end of every chapt er. These quest ions and
exercises will help you know yourself bet t er and move you t owards your goal of
Exercise:
Take a few m inut es t o t hink about t his quest ion and writ e dow n your answer in a
few sent ences. Think about w ho you are and what you do. Then consider t his
quest ion…
Not e dow n your ideas and t hen get ready t o read on, t he next chapt er will help
you t o st art feeling bet t er almost immediat ely and begin t o find t he hope you
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
…t here are anot her eleven chapt ers filled wit h secret s and t ips t o help you build
your self est eem and t urn your life around…
Well, you need t o get a copy of my Self Est eem Secret s e-book t oday here:
And if you act now you will get all t he bonuses but hurry t hey’re going fast …
Good luck,
Karl Perera
“ Self Est eem Secret s” E-Book “ Self Est eem Secret s” Paperback