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Published first in July 2006

Wisdom-and-Philosophy.com

The content of this book is copyright of the Author and Wisdom-and-

Philosophy.com except for those parables and folktales from Eastern and
Western Scriptures

This book has 80,000+ words

Prepared in Sheffield, England, United Kingdom

Written in Microsoft Word and converted to ‘pdf’ for transportation across
the internet.

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 FOREWORD
Phil Booker (photo)
Aged 49, Born Sheffield, England

It is with great pleasure that I present this book for

circulation. It has taken almost four years to
accumulate the content, the text and the stories to
illustrate the fascinating subject of HAPPINESS.

If you have the skill to correct the small, the big issues in life have a knack of
already having the answers supplied with the problem. This is not science,
psychology or academia; but the beauty of wisdom should you allow it to
manifest within your life.

From the moment of finishing college many people, especially my family have
considered my methodology to be weird. Yet my answer to that is that I’m
applying wisdom and perhaps they need to take a rain check on their own
views. I say that knowing that it will raise a smile.

It is therefore perhaps an unconventional look at HAPPINESS that this book

will explore, but you can be assured that each avenue has a mirrored
comparison in the academic equivalent profession associated with better
states of happiness.

There are many stories I would have wished to have included within this book,
but the copyright to do so has been fraught with difficulty. It is my belief that
stories help illustrate either a technique or mental agility needed to improve
and extend your periods of happiness.

Each and every day our purpose is to make our life happier. We do this to an
extreme; and in doing so go through pain and anguish. Why do we not include
‘being happy’ within the journey?

Please enjoy…
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HOW TO BE HAPPY
(Without the effort)

CONTENTS Drop What You Believe

Pain and Failure
Clutter and Hoarding
INTRODUCTION Stress
Looking for Happiness Thinking
How to be Happy - Without the Effort Depression
How to be Happy - Let Go of Old Principles Anxiety
How to be Happy - The Power of Letting Go Habit, Rituals and Superstition
How to be Happy - The Carrot and the Stick Change
How to be Happy - We Get Confused Drop Your Ego
Unhappiness – what you need to know Control – You Cannot Be Happy Being in Control
What is Life all About? Keeping Secrets
What is the meaning of life? Doubt
The Joy of being Happy Limitations
This is How it Is Problems
Happiness is Within You Mistakes
Paradigm Justification
One Major Step Forward Judgment
Natural Defence Mechanism Assumptions
Other Than Happy Jealousy
Acceptance is NOT Defeat Guilt
Mistakes Argument of Authority
Mental Shutdown Hate
Assumptions Desire
Allow for Abundance Self Punishment
Observation The Power of Words
Centre Yourself
Listen and Learn SECTION 2
Make Opportunities Learning from Your Teacher
Reason Learning from Children
Inner Conflict Changing Perspective
Stuck in a Rut? Submit it to Your Sleep
The Mirror Effect Dropping ‘Must’, ‘Ought’ and ‘Should’.
Reality v Thinking Give Up Trying to Self Improve
Happy or Healthy? The Law of Sow and Reap
Illness Trust
Midlife Crisis Commitment
The Real You Full Attention
Illusion Persistence
Ask
MOVE INTO THE HAPPY EMOTION Make Yourself Available
Forgiveness
SECTION 1 Humour (Be Glad)
Admission and Acceptance Gratitude
Giving Up Some of What You Already Know Giving
Living Unconditionally Relax
Letting Down Your Defences Rest
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Love and Its Communication You’ll live for another 30 years
Love Easier known than done
Apologize Chasing two rabbits
Love Yourself – but not from your ego Dambusters
Joy of Service A Fireman or a Footballer
Abundance Will Come Who are these people?
Know Your Strengths Joe’s plea for Christmas
Non Attachment The Wolf and the Sheep
Self Discipline The casualty department
Right Diet My 100 mile drive
Meditation A short fuse
Now! Perfection doesn’t exist
Happiness is not circumstance but attitude Project to justify
Happiness and Wisdom Integrity lost me my job
Hope Judgment
BUSTED… 10 Happiness Myths How do you get wise?
Conclusion Winning is everything
100 Ways to Improve Your Self Esteem The songwriter
Why do women cry?
The wind came
A jealous moment that nearly cost me my job
Worse than a clown
List of Stories The Chinese farmer
Temper
The Blue Book The story about revenge you’ll never forget
Seeing the River The beauty within the thorns
The Blind Men and the Elephant Weakness or Strength?
The House of a 1000 Mirrors Holding on to what is important
Muddy Waters The desire for gold
Working over the weekend! The stopped clock
Leave it be Two frogs
Sometimes we need to 'Really' see The diamond that withstood the tools of the craftsman
It was my calling Be thankful
Letting go of a fixed view What children say
It’s mine and I’m keeping it Mid Life Crisis
Comfort Zone The wise man and the child
Failure is Success Follow your bliss
The Dolphin and the Wave Cracked or perfect
The house fly, the dog and Roger In one minute you can change everything
Resolving Emotional Pain Shake it off and step up
The Debt Collector The Job Interview
The Doe and the Lion Different Perspectives
The Right Authority The Wolf and the Lion
Taking on other people’s problems The Overflowing Cup
The Gift on Insults Fate is in Your Own Hands
Despair leads to Unhappiness Envy for the wealthy
Don’t put off until tomorrow Roller Skating improves your Education
The Green Wood Gatherer (Laziness) A Trip to the Moon
The Great Barrier Reef The Holy Man
Now My Role is Daddy The Roots Grow Stronger
Thrown in turmoil Sowing the Seeds of Happiness
The non believer Are our Goals Really Dreams?
Egotism A Donkey, a Rooster and a Lamp
Happiness is just around the corner The Principle of Nature
Stop waiting to be happy Two roads overcame the Hyena
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Improving the Golf Swing Glitter, Glue and Stickers
The Debate The House Across the Valley
Don’t Worry about Time Philosophy of Life
How do you get wise? The Missing Axe
Things are not always as they seem Who Owns the Cat?
The Baby Giraffe Apply the truth and the Bliss will follow
Grand Prix Having a Bad Day
British Football I am Awake
Rainy Day, Sunny Day Nobody told me anything
Sand and Stone Milarepa’s Last Testament
Learning the Hard Way One Step Plan
Moving Mind Mindful Practice
Obsessed The Essence of Life
Sounds of Silence Making Things Happen
True Self The Story of the Stones
Unsavoury Circumstance What goes around comes around
The Slave and the Lion Our Attitude mirrors our Personal Philosophy
The Garden Fence The Preacher
Gasping for Breath The Blue Book
Learning through Experience The Echo Principle
Perfect Peace Within Authority
When Tired Small Steps
The Horse and the little Burro A Father’s Lesson
Still Making Progress The Insects Rule
The Blue and Red Coat 7 Steps to Pure Love and Happiness
The Poorest Man 12 Tips on How to be Happy

INTRODUCTION
This book celebrates the beauty of the mind and explores the potential we all have at being happy.

Life is what you may it. This book will encourage and suggest ways to make you happy. Plus it will give you an insight into
how to develop a happy and healthy attitude to life.

There are no instructions to ‘work hard’ towards creating a ‘fix’ that will sort all your problems out at once. What it will do
however is to create a greater understanding. This is done through a series of discursive essays.

The lesson that this book will teach you is to KNOW. When you ‘know’ there is an impulse to act in the correct manner; this
very inclination will steer you from certain sadness to a very pleasant happiness. Understanding happiness is a form of ‘self
knowledge’.

Happiness is in the knowing!

QUOTE: “If you think you’re going to have a bad day and be sad, or you think you’re in for a happy day; trust these
thoughts as your intuition is likely to be right.” (A slight amendment to the next quote below)

QUOTE: "If you think you can do a thing, or you think you can't do a thing, you're always right." (Henry Ford 1863-1947)

What significance do you think those two quotes have on your happiness? They have a huge bearing on your happiness!
Your attitude is a very important principle and thus should be treated with reverence.

QUOTE: "People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." (Abraham Lincoln)

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This book could tell you HOW TO BE HAPPY, it could EXPLAIN the basic principles of being HAPPY; it could teach you
new ideas, but none of these are good enough! We need to INSPIRE with illustrations, quotes and informative text.

QUOTE: “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher
inspires.” (William H. Ward).

Finding true happiness is a very personal journey.

There isn’t a simple set of guidelines to give you happiness, because every individual finds happiness in different things.
But the purpose of this book is to explore a different realm of understanding.

What may trigger sadness in one person could trigger happiness in another. So rather than look at specific events we shall
need to look at varying emotive subjects and explore their potential.

Some philosophers have said that if we discover the realm of ‘truth’ we will become happy. But allow this quote to confuse
such an understanding.

QUOTE: “Nowadays that is not the truth which is true, but that which is persuaded to others.” (Montaigne, 1533-1592,
Essayist)

QUOTE: "The clearest sign of wisdom is continued cheerfulness." (Montaigne, 1533-1592, Essayist)

So the definition of what is true is in the ‘seeing’ by each individual; or what can be convinced by others is in the seeing. Not
too dissimilar to happiness, the truth is a very personal journey. This consideration of truth is dealt with at varying times
during this book.

We must reconsider the value of our superstitions and outmoded beliefs and allow a greater source to help us evolve.

Amongst other things I shall introduce a few concepts about ‘being happy’ that you have forgotten existed…

I say forgotten deliberately because we all possess a happy spirit, but sometimes we forget how to trigger it into action.

Allow me to introduce out a few concepts that you may find yourself nodding to. If you do nod, then perhaps you knew them
already?!

1. Happiness is our right and not just a possibility.

2. Happiness is a basic human disposition.
3. There is a natural tendency to consider that every problem is sent to drill us into the ground; but in actual fact it is sent to
strengthen our spirit, we only need to recognise how to convert it.
4. Our greatest gain towards happiness is often during or after our greatest period of pain.
5. Any show of strength or any positive attitude can be transformed into a move towards happiness.
6. Our confidence, self-esteem and courage can grow with each difficulty we encounter, if we only can tune in to such
awareness.
7. People who start with ‘everything’, are often the first to give up hope, but there are answers to how we can shrug off
despair should we choose to look and see.
8. It seems so common that when we encounter something bad we trigger a response that makes us sad. This it would
appear is something we cannot change, but nonetheless we can introduce through practice another trigger that prevents
anxiety, stress and pain. We only need to know how to do it!
9. We need to understand the value of happiness! If we can do this and work out how to travel there under the direst of
situations, we’ll find answers that never arrive during negative moments.
10. We’ll never be able to stop change or problems arising, but with the right attitude we can find the energy to move a
mountain.
11. If we are angry with a specific person, we are so because of their attitude. Their way of behaving may be the result of
some suffering. We cannot blame their attitude, this is a direct response to their anguish; we must therefore address the
cause of their distress.
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12. We need to address the challenges that adversity brings. Patience is a virtue and thus a major golden nugget in our
attempts to return to a happier state of mind.
13. Toleration is an important part to ‘wisdom’ and therefore becomes an essential ingredient in happiness.
14. Nature has endowed us with a large faculty called happiness, not every animal has this pleasure.

I suggest you maintain a healthy and objective degree of scepticism. This book isn’t intended to tell but to enlighten. If at
first you cannot agree with a principle then allow such comment to sit on the fence, rather than be found immediately in the
waste bin.

Consider this concept – at first you must receive before the quality of giving has a strength and power to effect change in
the next receiver. If you’re giving before receiving you’re sending an empty envelope.

QUOTE: “It is self-evident that a generous heart and wholesome actions lead to a greater peace. It is equally clear that their
negative counterparts bring undesirable consequences. Happiness arises from virtuous causes. If we truly desire to be
happy, there is no other way to proceed but by way of virtue.” (Dalai Lama)

QUOTE: “The good news is that a GREAT LIFE is available to each and every one of us. Living well and making a
difference do not require money, fame or power. Living well is about taking time to live your own life on your own terms. It's
about caring and sharing, about loving and dancing, and sharing a meal with a friend, or with a stranger. Life is short - give
it your very best, every day!” (Philip Humbert).

Happiness is an emotion… The only reason we are not in the emotion of happiness is because we are dwelling in a
different emotion. What we need to do therefore is to understand this concept. In doing this we increase the chance of a
swift return to happiness. If we refuse to accept our condition of sorrow then we are unlikely to escape its grip.

Of course that is easier said than done, but nonetheless it needs to be done to accomplish a happier persona.

QUOTE: "No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself
or your life that you want to change." (Barbara DeAngelis, Author)

QUOTE: "We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us...how
we can take it, what we can do with it...and that is what really counts in the end." (Joseph Fort Newton, Author)

LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS

Where shall we go look? The countryside, the seaside, the mountains, the lakes, the back garden, the centre of town, a
church, a castle, your favourite chair, your memories or your heart? All are true possibilities, but the nearest at any one time
is your heart.

Allow me to illustrate. Assume you were dragged by a family member or close friend to a beauty spot near your home; full
of good memories where your sense of well-being is almost guaranteed to be good. Yet because you were brought there
under duress that sense of well being doesn’t manifest; what do you think would be the reason for that?

Proof I would suggest if you ever needed it that happiness manifests from an intention to be happy. I’ll use this quote
elsewhere as it is extremely relevant to our quest for prolonged happiness.

QUOTE: “Most people are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” (Abraham Lincoln)

We don’t need to look for happiness – it is already there we just need to connect to it. Happiness exists within us; our only
need is to find that connecting link.

HOW TO BE HAPPY - WITHOUT THE EFFORT

Our first misconception of gaining more knowledge… is that we need to concentrate and work hard… in order to gather and
collect the information we need to advance in our studies.
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A few who read this introduction may have heard of the ‘Zen Story’ relating to an overflowing cup. The implication is… that
in adding more knowledge our cup overflows; thus we can never be sure that what escapes from the cup is what we are
trying to ‘add’. The suggestion is therefore that we must empty our cup slightly before we try to add; so there is room for any
new information to reside.

This letting go of old and tired principles allows the flood of new and active ones to enter and encourage us to prosper.

Our ‘ego’ for example will confuse us, if we TRY to encourage perfection too many obstacles will be thrust in our path. If we
allow a connection that by-passes our ego – perfection is done! So it is not in the ‘trying’ but in the ALLOWING.

So as you begin to understand the principles of being happy, you must first be prepared to let go of some of the knowledge
that hinders your advancement. Another viewpoint of the same situation would be to have ‘an open mind’. Here you would
allow new information to replace the old, which in practice replaces the old habitual habits that are tired and ineffective.

So the first principle of improving your happiness is to LET GO… Letting go has no effort. You must not ‘try’ and let go, but
simply let go of old and tired principles. To ‘try’ implies effort.

Allow me to illustrate… Sit for one moment and empty your mind. There will become a moment where you can
acknowledge there is no thought. This is a momentary thing, but you’ll know of this, as a flood of thoughts soon follow.
You’ll begin to think about work and your family, the recipe for your next meal, the next holiday, the work you need to do on
your garden. As you see these thoughts allow them to evaporate into the mist. Stop after about 15 seconds. You’ll
experience the ease of letting go. There is no effort. (In a deep meditative state this principle of letting go has boundless
advantages; however we do not advocate this unless you wish to advance further into a deeper understanding of wisdom).

HOW TO BE HAPPY – LET GO OF OLD PRINCIPLES

Happiness is therefore more about letting go than plotting and planning your future.

QUOTE: “All that we know is that we know nothing.” (Montaigne)

Consider this… One third of our life we go through a period of letting go, but we forget that we do it. When we go to sleep
and wake up, we let go of the day or the dream.

Working hard to achieve happiness will work in time, but you’ll experience a rollercoaster ride; all you really need to do is to
practice letting go? It is a process of ‘non doing’…

Our old principle have worked and kept us from harm, they are to be acknowledged as doing such, but we need to
introduce a dispassionate scrutiny towards them and consider whether they are outdated.

HOW TO BE HAPPY – THE POWER OF LETTING GO

How and why you may ask… Is it that you are suggesting it can be done without the effort?

Words are very powerful and lay heavy on our subconscious. If you said for example, “I’ve got to work all day Saturday.”
How heavy is that? Too heavy I would suggest. What we need therefore is to start using different words to explain events.

It is my suggestion that we introduce the word ALLOW instead of work or effort. We must ALLOW events to unfold and
TRUST that we respond accordingly.

Every person who reads this will be able to tell of a story about when doom and gloom visited their life. Proof, without any
reason to question, that all the ‘effort’ we put into our life doesn’t always turn up trumps.

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When doom and gloom does visit, we need to observe with full attention, allow events to unfold and respond with what our
gut feelings tell us. This is of course discussed and illustrated later in this book, but can you see that what was possibly a
difficult scenario has suddenly turned into a simple exercise.

Our efforts and struggles can be replaced by an observant individual who allows events to unfold. If by chance it would
appear, that you prevent a major catastrophe happening, you’ll have done it by allowing instructions to arise rather than
have sleepless nights trying to resolve it in your head.

This is done with practice. Scientists would never underestimate the subconscious so neither should the rest of us. This
realm is far from being fully understood, yet the exploration is an adventure we should all enjoy.

ILLUSTRATION 1

Assume in this illustration that your ‘soul’ or your ‘personality’ is the book.

THE BLUE BOOK

This particular book was blue with a gold embossed title. Within the first few pages it said it was re-printed in 1905. Without
telling you the name of the book, would you know from the description so far what book it was? No, I don’t suppose you
would.

In 1905 it was a new book, printed and bound to the highest quality. Although the content had been used before and there
were many similar books, the owner of this book was delighted to have purchased it.

The book was full of information and although the owner was only aged 10 he began to read from page 1. It wasn’t long
before he put his own stamp on the book by writing his name on the inside front cover. He was proud to own it and was
happy for everyone to know that too.

It wasn’t a book he read straight through, for it took him 5 years to finish it; but he recalls the journey was well worth the
wait. It became a very proud possession and moved from shelf to shelf in his bedroom.

His parents were having a clear out and decided to collect some old items and send them to a local jumble sale. This blue
book had been fingered, dropped, pages had been folded and several had been scribbled upon when the owner was still
young. The parents asked if they could include this in their collection for the jumble sale as it didn’t look too healthy.

It may not have been impressive to look at, but the content was excellent. The value to the owner had not decreased from
day one. So, NO the parents could take it.

The owner grew older and found himself a wife and in the excitement of life he mislaid the book at home. It wasn’t long
before his parents had another house clear out and this time the book went to the jumble sale.

During that day at the jumble sale the book got picked up by many people and almost everyone considered it worthy to
purchase. It was an old lady who purchased the book for a few pence. She referred to the book as revisiting an old friend.
Over the next 15 years she read it through about five times. Although the book may not have been in pristine condition the
content was still valuable.

The old lady passed away and her belongings were taken to a second hand shop. The blue book was purchased again for
a few pence by a mother who bought it specifically for her own children. Both children read it on several occasions and one
kept it in his book collection for 40 years.

This current owner found his house on fire and although many expensive items had been destroyed his book collection had
been saved; although the cover of the blue book was dirtier than ever. As it seems to happen with time, the blue book
changed hands several more times; one of which had spent time to meticulously clean the book. As I write this recollection
the book is 100 years old, a little tatty around the edges but still of value because of the content.

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Doesn’t this seem similar to our life and how we sometimes have to drag ourselves off the floor and dust ourselves down?

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or creased,
you are still priceless to this life.

By the way the blue book was entitled ‘The Bible’.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one's awareness of one's ignorance." (Eastern Philosophy)

Often is the case that you’ll deny having a problem, when it is in view for everyone else who’ll say it is all too obvious. We
cannot start to correct a problem in our life if we refuse to accept it exists.

I used an example of an overflowing cup earlier, how about we switch the perspective to a cup we THINK is full. Ask a
fisherman about fishing and he’ll probably tell you he knows everything; his cup therefore is full. If you try and tell him some
information he didn’t know, he’ll almost refuse to accept it because there is no room.

As strange as it may seem… to actually let go every day will allow greater riches to flood in.

ILLUSTRATION 2

SEEING THE RIVER

Imagine an eastern philosopher filling up water jugs by a river. He was serving a whole village of water to take back to their
homes. One day he said he would not be there tomorrow. The residents panicked… How would they get their water? The
wise man said, “When I am not here you’ll see the river.”

(Buddhist Parable)

Sometimes a barrier needs to be removed for the flood gates of our mind to open. All of which I may add is done without
the effort.

QUOTE: “"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and
joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share.
Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." (Og Mandino,
1923-1996, Author and Speaker)

HOW TO BE HAPPY - THE CARROT AND THE STICK

What we basically do in our life in order to achieve happiness is decide what will make us happy and then travel towards
that goal. What appears to happen in reality however is not too dissimilar to the carrot on the end of a stick analogy. For
every step we move forward so does the carrot. In other words our happiness always seems to be at some destination we
cannot reach; so we are never truly happy. Does this sound familiar?

What our senses tell us; or more appropriately what our habitual habits cause us to do… is that the immediate rational
solution is a need to speed our attempt up in catching the carrot. If we move faster we may well reach our destination
quicker. Hence every day we see countless people running around like headless chickens; “If I just get all this done I’ll be
happy,” said a scurrying individual.

HOW TO BE HAPPY - WE GET CONFUSED

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We all get frustrated with our emotional well-being and try many methods that require strict discipline and hard graft to see
an end result. We all have busy schedules and find devoting time and effort too restricting. So it comes as no surprise that
rarely do we make any progress towards being happier… True?

QUOTE: "Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it
is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do it, I
shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning." (Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948, Indian
Nationalist Leader)

QUOTE: “Happy thoughts are half your health.” (Czech proverb)

UNHAPPINESS – What you need to know

Allow me to draw a parallel … In war, one thing you need to know for sure is your enemy. Unhappiness therefore in this
short study is your enemy.

It doesn’t mean you need to hate your enemy, but you do need to understand it and accept it. In any major crisis in life you
need to learn some valuable lessons, or the same story will repeat itself. So unhappiness is no exception. We need to
understand why we are unhappy and accept it.

There are lessons to be learnt! You may not be able to stop future unhappiness, but you can lessen its grip. Let’s take one
particular example:

Assume you are jealous. This could lead to unhappiness. Like some medical treatment, don’t try to tend to your
unhappiness, but understand and resolve the issue you have with the root cause, in this example it is jealousy. Once you
have found the root of your unhappiness, try to resolve the way you look at or are effected by that emotion.

If you are jealous for example of a millionaire, and on every occasion you pass a thought to this person you start to
become unhappy. Then you’ll need to ALLOW, allow being a key word as it doesn’t imply effort, allow an openness. Be
open to viewing the same situation with different eyes.

Instead of hating the millionaire, what lessons can they teach you? Not how to become wealthy perhaps, especially if they
have cheated their way to a fortune, but how to avoid their personality traits that make them so despicable. Perhaps see
some positive in a few of their actions and introduce them into your own style of action. Who knows what may result.

One thing is for sure, allow unhappiness to be the only enemy that becomes your friend…

When you notice an unhappy feeling, you need to set a measure. Draw a line and move back towards happiness. Few
good decisions are made in a poor state of mind, so you need to accept where you are; acceptance being 50% of letting
go of the emotional entanglement. So immediately you are 50% towards making excellent decisions again.

Symbolism! - Eat a carrot once a day as a reminder that happiness is available to you now – this was written by, Ben
Renshaw, co-founder of the Happiness Project in New York. It is a symbol that you could use to propel you back towards
happiness. Accepting is 50%, eating a carrot a day will keep you 10% further towards your every day goal. Imagine feeling
a little down and unhappy, you pass your kitchen or your lunchbox and there is your symbolic savior … it should raise the
slightest smile and give you a little push to think positive once again. If carrots are not for you adopt another symbolic item
to represent a move towards happiness and a positive nature. I know some who use clapping … just a thought, but
certainly by now you can see the advantage of having something symbolic?!

WHAT IS LIFE ALL ABOUT?

I posed a question to my two daughters, aged nine and seven, “There is one question that you may ask yourself throughout
your life and never decide exactly what the answer is, but I can tell you the answer without having the substitute other
subjects. The question is, ‘What is life all about?” I invited my two daughters to suggest their own answers.

My eldest said, “Doing well at school, getting a good career and having nice things”
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My youngest paused for a moment and considered that my question needed a more calculated answer, she said, “Looking
after your family and friends, showing love and not hating anyone.”

These of course were understandable answers that many aspire to already, but there is one concept that embraces all of
these and multiplies their affect. That is ‘BEING HAPPY’.

“What is life all about… Being Happy”, I told my two daughters.

“Oh yes,” they both replied.

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

QUOTE: “Meaning is a choice, not a search.” (Robert Holden)

This is a perfect example of the power of words! Thus the saying is altered to ‘What is the choice of life?’ Everyone can
handle making choices.

THE JOY OF BEING HAPPY

Happiness embraces every subject and multiplies its possibilities. Take love for example, imagine the intensity of giving
love when you’re sad; then imagine how beautifully that emotion of love can be multiplied when you’re happy.

So being happy complements most every subject.

To do a task and to hate that task is likely to produce a poor product. To do the same task, but be feeling happy will
produce a much improved outcome. Inspirational ideas, offering gratitude and forgiveness are all the result of what
happiness can bring.

Wisdom it is said ‘comes with age’ so therefore I would suggest that happiness should do also. Each and every day we
should improve our understanding on ‘how to be happy’ and in doing so multiply our possibilities.

Happiness has a power, if we could harness that power and thrust it into our life we’d see an abundance we could never
have expected.

Happiness will allow a change of perspective more readily and present us with tools to solve the greatest of encumbrances.

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THIS IS HOW IT IS

In the short term your life will not change. Certain situations and problems will continue to arise; but your improved level of
happiness will simply resolve these with what appears to be little effort.

When an obstacle is thrown upon your path, happiness will provide you with the energy to leap over it. Had you been sad
you would have collided with the obstacle.

When a tricky problem arises your energy levels are greater and consequently all problems are dealt with immediately. Had
you been angry for example, you’d have tussled all week with the problem.

In the long term problems avoid you. You are so full of positive energy you see a problem coming and prevent it from
troubling you.

HAPPINESS IS WITHIN YOU

Too many individuals are busy planning to be happy in the future and forget the importance of being happy NOW!

Assume for one moment that you plan a holiday, it is four months away and you know when you’re on this vacation you’re
going to be happy. What you are doing is imprisoning your happiness for four months. You are stipulating a strict limit to
when your happiness should arrive and disappear.

Okay there is nothing wrong in planning a holiday, but it is the added specification that happiness should arrive on the first
day of your holiday.

Happiness is not four months away; it is within you NOW!

QUOTE: “The equation for happiness is NOT ‘ME + Something’ = Happiness.” (Robert Holden)

PARADIGM

What is a paradigm?

The dictionary quotes… “…a typical example, pattern, or model of something.”

In philosophy there have been many studies of a ‘period of time in history’ and subsequently described them as a paradigm.
At certain times in history there has been specific ways of thinking, and such ways have dominated our thought processes.
Each particular period of time and the corresponding ‘way’ of thinking can be termed as a paradigm.

Many current philosophers would argue that we exist in a ‘SCIENCE’ paradigm today. Why?

A scientific paradigm is characterized by a logical and rational style of argument; by testing suggestions and hypotheses
using data in order to explain the order of events. Using these methods as opposed to intuition for example would
encourage science to dominate our way of thinking.

Why would this quote be relevant?

QUOTE: "People who consider themselves victims of their circumstances will always remain victims unless they develop a
greater vision for their lives." (Stedman Graham. Speaker, Author and Educator)

It would be relevant because it triggers a response that is not the basis of science.

Most quotes or stories that make available a few moments of thought are generally not scientific. They somehow
communicate a truth that cannot be explained with data.

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The very basis of this analysis of happiness is to suggest that we use our senses more, rather than base our decisions on
scientific data.

When you have an argument with a close family member, friend or work colleague, how do your process the argument?
You justify your actions with confirmation (data).

The very process of justification suggests that you compile data to qualify your argument or decisions.

Wisdom doesn’t suggest you ignore data, but recognize its control over your decisions. A certain ‘knowing’; ‘intuition’ can be
backed with a 1,000 facts but done so in an instant. To consider each ‘individual’ piece of data allows the ‘scientific
paradigm’ to take you in a different direction.

To illustrate… How do you become happy? Pause and give that a moments thought.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but did you not think of material objects, holidays or possessions that you need around you?

You thought of these simply to satisfy the soul and consequently and apparently make you happy. You collected data!
There would have been a few who thought of emotional support that makes them happy, but this is normally a second
thought than a first. A product I may add of the science paradigm.

Do you want wealth to be happy or love? Or do you think love will follow if you have wealth?

We live in a scientific paradigm and consequently are encouraged to process our daily thoughts using data. If you look at
the advertisements on television, do they try and make you buy their products using love or do they provide you with data?

Those who suffer from depression repeat the consideration of data that made them depressed… each and every day. To
recover from depression we see psychologists attempt to change a perspective, NOT to change the data.

To be happier we need to tweak our perspective, not to add more material objects. We can increase our enjoyment of
life ten-fold by one action; and that being change perspective. However in a scientific paradigm we assume that adding
material objects increases our happiness.

We must remember however that sadness is emotionally based… and not by qualification of poor wealth.

ONE MAJOR STEP FORWARD

This major step forward is based upon acceptance and admission. Unless you do this you cannot move forward.

Allow me to illustrate. I use this example as it had meant so much to those who I’ve talked to in the past but may bear no
relevance to you at all. The point however is to illustrate acceptance and admission.

Try and tell a friend or colleague they have the signs of being an alcoholic. No doubt they will refuse to accept your
comments. You may attempt in several ways to confirm this position, but the alcoholic cannot see.

It is not until they accept and admit they have a problem before they can move on.

If therefore you want to be happier, it would follow that a few aspects of your life may require the same principle applying.
You’ll need to admit and accept that there is a hindrance holding you back in any advancement. Without using this
admission you’re preventing the chance of moving forward. To defend your position will only attract more of the same; in
affect you’ll gather more and more justifications that your present ‘stand point’ is right.

NATURAL DEFENCE MECHANISM

What most people do is to erect a comfort zone often supported by data, experience and resolution. They assume therefore
that while ever they reside in it they are happy.
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 It is a commonly known psychology theory that you ‘attract what you defend’. If you defend a jealousy, you’ll find that more
and more situations arise to test the theory of that jealousy. This defense mechanism is based upon data, for example, you
got hurt before so you’ll get hurt again.

This mechanism may not function exactly how you originally planned it to work. Within the next year; and by reading this
book and practicing the many directions it takes you, I would hope that I can lower those defenses and allow happiness
alone to be your defense.

Words can be powerful and very limiting. For example… Embrace a new insight but don’t cherish it. Two words embrace
and cherish. Just see as I continue how these two words can either encourage or limit your mood. To embrace is all
encompassing, it suggests a boundless enthusiasm. To cherish, although quaint, pretty, charming and an attractive word to
say could set an immediate limit to your progress. In the ladder of success, you’re cherishing prevents any further rungs
being attained.

OTHER THAN HAPPY

To fail is a choice, to be sad is a choice, to be happy is a choice. If you are anything other than happy you have chosen to
allow the pull of that emotion to take control.

Optimists are generally happier than pessimists, but don’t forget to have a balance – let’s say 80 – 20 to favour the optimist.
We all have faith in something, but it remains healthy to question that faith occasionally to make sure it is relevant to your
life.

Trying to copy another person’s path may not be right for you. We must acknowledge the beauty of another’s path and
learn from their advances. Apply similarities, but ultimately tread your own path.

ACCEPTANCE IS NOT DEFEAT

Contrary to popular belief acceptance is not defeat. In reality it is the start of a new chapter. To toil with existing problems
will only result a year down the line with a slight variation of where you are now. Acceptance allows new ideas and concepts
to flood in and thus we have harmony and prosperity.

MISTAKES

We all make them, and more importantly they will always happen. But the value of that mistake will only materialize in
happiness.

Every costly lesson will result in exponentially greater success in the longer term.

We can either be sad about our mistakes or be positive and happy. If we are sad we learn nothing and climb back behind
our defenses. If we are happy we learn a big lesson; and, it proves to be of a major benefit for our future.

MENTAL SHUTDOWN

The psychology profession suggests that there are five stages of difficulty during a ‘mental shutdown’, they are:

a) Shock and shut down

b) Grief and sadness
c) Anger
d) Guilt and self doubt
e) Resistance to happiness cum a need to feel undeserving

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Our emotions dominate our life; we will find it difficult not to experience all these varying stages. Sadly however we make a
choice on how long these emotional rollercoaster’s will control our patterns of thought, for some that domination maybe just
two or three weeks, for others it could be a few years and the few amongst us it could be a lifetime.

What ever is the cause of your mental problem is in the past; what has happened, has happened! We cannot change
history. What we can do is concentrate on NOW and develop a brighter future.

ASSUMPTIONS

Again, we all make them. But what we should never do is base a major decision upon them.

Being happy is helped by making consistently good decisions. These cannot be made using assumptions.

Have you ever had an argument with your partner and eventually upon forgiveness you say, “Well I thought you meant…”

You’re making a decision upon an assumption, without the clarity that’s needed. Your life will be fraught with confusion if
you rely on assumptions.

ALLOW FOR ABUNDANCE

By abundance I mean everything at your disposal. If you limit yourself you’re immediately preventing abundance from
entering your life.

Allow me to illustrate… Imagine you have ordered a new kitchen, and, you’ll going to be happy once the kitchen is installed
in three weeks. What, I may ask, can we expect to be cooked in your old kitchen for the next three weeks?

I’d expect very little good food! The only time any good food is cooked will be because you’ve forgotten about your limitation
because you’re temporarily happy.

Any negativity produces blinkers, in so doing abundance isn’t available. If you are wearing blinkers you cannot see the full
picture. The answer you need may just be out of your immediate vision.

If you walk into a library do you not feel abundance? Everything you are ever likely to need is within there. Walk into the
same library when you’ve been sent by your spouse to return an overdue book and that abundance is lost; because of
course you entered the library wearing blinkers.

Every day we deal with situations that we find ourselves in. Nothing new there! But will our industrial microwave or huge
television screen help resolve a problem at work?

Being rich in material possessions doesn’t resolve the everyday questions that are asked of us. ALLOWING on the other
hand encourages a richness and abundance. Allowing is free; abundance and knowledge is free.

It is what we get for free that counts. When we are immersed in desire for material stuff we shut-off the likelihood of
abundance.

QUOTE: “When you stop chasing more of what you don’t need, you free up tremendous energy to do more with what you
have, and what you have grows.” (Lynn Twist)

QUOTE: “Though we travel to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

QUOTE: “In challenging times, keep something beautiful in your heart.” (Pascal)

OBSERVATION

Observe your thoughts but don’t go anywhere with them. In other words don’t jump to a conclusion too soon.
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There is a 5,000 word explanation for the power of observation but the basics are to understand what our first is and what
our second thought is. Our first thought is intuition and our second thought is originated from our ego. There still is a
problem as our ego demands you to believe that the second thought is in fact your first.

Your first thought is an immediate flash of knowledge that arises; sometimes without you taking much notice. Do nothing
but be aware that this is how it works.

QUOTE: “Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish, but wish the things that happen to be as they
are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life.” (Epictetus)

Nature has a habit of lifting our spirits – never, never underestimate this potential! Have you ever spoke to an animal of your
problems? You’ll never get advice, but you’ll get a listening ear. Why does food and drink taste so good when you’re sat by
the beach? Yet strangely the same food at home never realises the same potential for happiness.

Write down during any normal day events that trigger a happy feeling. Then when that day turns sour you can look back at
your journal and know what action to take that can bring back that happy feeling. It maybe that cooking or listening to the
radio is good, or looking out of a specific window. You’ll only really know by keeping a good journal.

CENTRE YOURSELF

Although Meditation, Yoga, Chi Kung and Aerobics for example are good tools for restfulness, they may not be right for you.
One specific option for restfulness is appreciating the value of giving full attention. When you only give half attention, your
other half is drifting off trying to solve some problem or drift off into a dream of fantasy.

Try using full attention as thus… Opt for some mundane job such as cleaning a brass handle on the door. Don’t put a time
limit on the job as that will affect the whole task. Feel the cloth and the texture, listen to the glug of the fluid as it drips onto
the cloth. Feel the dampness of the cloth with your finger as you apply the solution to the brass. Watch carefully as you
press and apply the right pressure to rid the brass of the grime. Listen for the squeak as the grime disappears and the true
colour emerges. Clean with precision and don’t leave any grime left on the door handle.

This whole process may have taken 30 minutes, the completed job is perfection personified. It would have been restful. The
importance of centering yourself as thus is that your mind is given to one job and one job only. It is a connection that will
take away sorrow and sadness until that full attention is lost.

Be aware also that the moment you leave the beauty of full attention the answer to any problems may arise. It is said that
your mind is allowed to resolve the problems of your life if you give a particular task your full attention; anything less than
full attention and your mind is being actively used to follow some day dream or other.

LISTEN AND LEARN

Listen to your teacher! Who is your teacher? It could be the next person you meet. Everyone has the potential to be your
teacher.

Being happy allows you to SEE. Being negative will not allow you to see anything; it is as if you’re wearing blinkers.

MAKE OPPORTUNITIES

Your first discipline in reading this book is to ‘make opportunities’. How do you do this?

Be happy… Happiness is the breading ground for opportunity; you’ll never get inspired by being sad or angry.

Call this discipline ‘reading time’ and allow 15 minutes to 30 minutes each day in doing this. Read something that is
motivational. This in itself helps to trigger a happy feeling.

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CAUSE and EFFECT – We all are probably aware of this psychological description. If your next action is the ‘effect’ then
the cause is your decision to do it. For happiness you must first have the decision to be happy.

REASON

Generally we can identify why we are happy; this is because there was a reason. In deciding there was a reason we
processed an analysis of the situation. Avoid such analysis, why not be happy for NO REASON?

INNER CONFLICT

The tasks that need the most effort are often those that present us with the greatest problems. Perhaps we strive for
success with more ‘brawn than brains’ and forget our intended goal has an hidden agenda or conflict preventing the job’s
completion.

Strange as it may seem some people wallow in struggling! Others perhaps enjoy the struggle as they know it leads to
greater prospects. Which are you?

QUOTE: “The moment you make anything into a ‘problem’, you define yourself as a victim.” (Robert Holden)

Inner conflict is a problem that we shouldn’t ignore; although in wisdom we are best submitting the problem to our
subconscious to resolve, which is not too dissimilar to ignoring it. If we cannot resolve it with rational thinking then a good
practice is to allow our higher mind to present the resolution.

Inner conflict is a barrier and little else will get resolved when a major battle is taking place within our mind. We must first
accept that an inner conflict exists and then proceed with a practice that we know will complete the task. However as
mentioned in the last paragraph, to TRUST in our higher mind cum sub-conscious mind is a good alternative to consider.

STUCK IN A RUT?

Fear, self-doubt, self-criticism and self-sabotage; all observations of a person who says they are ‘stuck in a rut’, but is this a
true state of affairs? Well of course it is! That’s why this person is in a rut.

What appears to happen in an attempt to resolve this situation is that they try and put right what has gone wrong. But you
can’t change history!

Let’s assume for illustration purposes a boy has fallen out with his girlfriend. What tends to happen is that he wants to go
back and justify his actions that lead to the break up of the relationship. He needs to deal with the past problem in the
NOW. The best possible solution is to say you’re SORRY.

We don’t want to spend weeks and weeks trying to put right something that’s happened in the past, we need to act in the
NOW in a positive way which makes a promise for a brighter future.

Being ‘stuck in a rut’ is not so much a troubled past but being afraid of moving on. This fear is because you’re trying to put
right those actions in the past. Your next ten minutes on this planet are the result of what action you take NOW.

THE MIRROR EFFECT

The principle we call the ‘mirror effect’ has several permutations, one of which is; ‘you only get out of life what you put in’.
The simplicity but immense power this principle has, will consistently impress you.

Imagine this scenario… It is 9am one evening and you realize you’ll need some milk and bread for breakfast. The decision
is to visit your local late opening supermarket. You quickly glance in the mirror and say, “It’ll have to do!” You rush off to the
supermarket and the odds are that you’ll not talk to anyone other than the person at the till and that would only be a
grunted, “Thanks.” This is the mirror effect – if you look unapproachable, nobody will approach you.

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Check the mirror before you leave the house; and smile! That image will be left as a vision of yourself and subsequently
what others see of you.

REALITY v THINKING

What do we do in ‘deep analysis?’ Do we think or do we consider? The majority would say think until they heard the
word consider as an option. What is thinking? 90% of what you thought yesterday was useless. Thinking can be its own
barricade and limitation.

Reality is real; thinking is a reflection of real

Reality is NOW; thoughts are transient
In reality there is choice; thoughts can convince you of NO choice
In reality action has power; our thoughts lack the energy to inspire power
In reality to act will produce results; our thoughts rarely produce an action

QUOTE: "A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline." (Harvey Mackay)

HAPPY OR HEALTHY?

Are happy people healthier? Are healthy people happier? Try and apply the 80 – 20 rule. Every day you may find that one
takes precedent over the other. One day you may need to give 80% to becoming healthier and another day it maybe that
you give 80% to becoming happier. Either way you are striving in the right direction.

ILLNESS

Our ego tends to be at its most aggressive during illness. There is a form of self harm produced by our ego to either prolong
the illness or increase its intensity. Either way we need to see such play in action. Psychologists are first to admit that this is
an area of immediate consideration when thy meet a client for the first time. The only answer is to dismiss our ego as pure
folly and disregard its comments.

MIDLIFE CRISIS

You are where you are, but for what purpose? A midlife crisis suggests you’re confused. There is no ‘one’ person that
knows your life better than you. Every trial and tribulation that you have encountered has enriched your life. The simple
analysis is whatever has made you sad, avoid and don’t venture down the same path again. Whatever makes you happy
explore and cultivate.

If you have had a failure in marriage for example it doesn’t mean forget the opposite sex. It means choose a different path
and explore other possible means of identifying a partner rather than your previous methods. If you’ve had a terrible
experience it maybe that you need to view the same problem again with a new perspective. Both of which need strength
and discipline which also implies nurturing that strength and discipline to return. Often in trying to attempt a previously failed
task too soon it is because that strength and discipline is still weak. Allow time!

It is about this time in our life we are prepared to study which has the greater ‘pull’, enduring happiness or immediate
pleasure. Imagine a new £100 watch for a moment and then consider the value of turning to the nearest person and saying
thank you. One costs £100 and the other is free.

We need to understand what makes us happy and pursue an enduring form of happiness rather than the quick fix.

THE REAL YOU

You are not ill… You are you with an illness. You are not sad; you are you with sadness!

When we see someone, or alternatively when we look in the mirror, we see a person and not a label. The label can be
changed. Always speak to the person and not the label.
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If you attach yourself to a label your freedom is limited. The Buddhist religion suggests that ‘attachment’ is the source of all
suffering.

I recall a seminar where the speaker asked a member of the audience to tell him what his job was. The reply was an
‘Electrical Engineer’. “No,” replied the speaker, “I wanted your job not your title!”

Let’s look at the word diagnosis as it is meant to identify a problem. If we follow the route of the word in Latin it spells out
thus:

Di = 2

Agnos = don’t know

Does this mean that a diagnosis from doctor to patient is two people who don’t know? It is more commonly known to mean
a valued opinion from a professional of a condition whose symptoms are seen in you. Illness is a temporary ailment; and
not YOU.

ILLUSION

We have an illusion that we cannot conform. We are ‘sad’ and therefore cannot be happy. We have this ‘illusion’ that we are
separate and cannot reconnect with our happiness. Take a child for example, they are sad one moment and happy the
next. Many spiritual practitioners suggest that being ‘child-like’ is an important aspect of living.

Separation suggests that YOU are against another, which will always result in pain. We must recognize that separation is
only an illusion.

MOVE INTO THE HAPPY EMOTION

SECTION 1
Admission and Acceptance
QUOTE: “We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” (Carl Jung)

QUOTE: “Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it.” (Shakti Gawain)

QUOTE: “The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them,
he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise." (Aiden Nowlan)

We must ADMIT and ACCEPT to achieve any success in the subject we are deliberating upon.

We must ADMIT and ACCEPT that we do not have all the answers.

Most people will claim they have a reasonable understanding of the world and the tricks it plays upon us. That is unless it
can be proven otherwise.

This is to be expected. There will be everyday situations that seem to have a common result based upon our knowledge
and command of the world as we see it. On very rare occasions we will see a completely irregular type of resolution from a
person we’ve never been close to before in our life. Why is this?
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We gather knowledge and experience as we travel through life, yet you can be assured for every problem we come across
there are a 1,000 options to choose from; the 995 other options are those we simply can’t identify with.

If this is true then surely if we discover a new technique to resolve a problem we must be excited over the prospect. The
reality however is that there are many ways to resolve a problem if we could only take our time to SEE them. Our emotion
commands our pattern of thought, this we already know to be true. So when a problem occurs and we can only see the
same 5 resolutions then we need to change the emotion we reside in as that emotion is preventing our progress.

There are 995 other options to choose from if we awaken the sleeping giant within.

This next story illustrates how different people can see the same situation so differently.

THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT

A number of disciples went to the Buddha and said, "Sir, there are living here in Savatthi many wandering hermits and
scholars who indulge in constant dispute, some saying that the world is infinite and eternal and others that it is finite and not
eternal, some saying that the soul dies with the body and others that it lives on forever, and so forth. What, Sir, would you
say concerning them?"

The Buddha answered, "Once upon a time there was a certain raja who called to his servant and said, 'Come, good fellow,
go and gather together in one place all the men of Savatthi who were born blind... and show them an elephant.' 'Very good,
sire,' replied the servant, and he did as he was told. He said to the blind men assembled there, 'Here is an elephant,' and to
one man he presented the head of the elephant, to another its ears, to another a tusk, to another the trunk, the foot, back,
tail, and tuft of the tail, saying to each one that that was the elephant.

"When the blind men had felt the elephant, the raja went to each of them and said to each, 'Well, blind man, have you seen
the elephant? Tell me, what sort of thing is an elephant?'

"Thereupon the men who were presented with the head answered, 'Sire, an elephant is like a pot.' And the men who had
observed the ear replied, 'An elephant is like a winnowing basket.' Those who had been presented with a tusk said it was a
ploughshare. Those who knew only the trunk said it was a plough; others said the body was a grainery; the foot, a pillar; the
back, a mortar; the tail, a pestle, the tuft of the tail, a brush.

"Then they began to quarrel, shouting, 'Yes it is!' 'No, it is not!' 'An elephant is not that!' 'Yes, it's like that!' and so on, till they
came to blows over the matter.

"Brethren, the raja was delighted with the scene.

"Just so are these preachers and scholars holding various views blind and unseeing.... In their ignorance they are by nature
quarrelsome, wrangling, and disputatious, each maintaining reality is thus and thus."

Then the Exalted One rendered this meaning by uttering this verse of uplift,

O how they cling and wrangle, some who claim

For preacher and monk the honored name!
For, quarreling, each to his view they cling.
Such folk see only one side of a thing.

(Buddhist Story)

QUOTE: “If things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service
you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it." (Roger Babson, 1875-1967, Statistician and
Columnist)

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Why is it that when the day starts of bad it can get steadily worse? Allow me to remove the ignorance that lay behind that
fallacy. When you are controlled by your emotions it can be expressed in your facial expression; therefore if you have a
frustrated frown, everyone you meet seems to magnetically attract to the common ground which is your frown. Instead of
greeting you with a pleasant smile they are instantly gripped by your expression and drift into some negative conversation.

Your day can be changed in any one moment by removing the ignorance that’s making it negative, explained clearly within
this story.

THE HOUSE OF A 1000 MIRRORS

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog
learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house.
He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he
found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and
was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a
wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly
climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring
back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to
himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

(Japanese Folktale)

QUOTE: “We need to restrain the factors which inhibit COMPASSION and cultivate the factors that are conducive.” (The
Dalai Lama)

Whenever we react we must engage first the discipline of restraint, allow me to explain why with this little far eastern story:

MUDDY WATERS

“We can thus conceive of the nature of our mind when stirred with reaction, to be similar to that of water in a lake. When the
water is disturbed by a storm or by an animal, the mud from the lake’s bottom clouds it, making it appear opaque. But the
nature of the water is not dirty, neither would be the nature of our mind during reaction, but until the mud settles, the view is
clouded. When the mud settles the water is clear once again.”

(Zen Story)

Once we have understood that ADMISSION and ACCEPTANCE are two important factors we must move on and make the
next step. That next step is to remain positive.

Positive isn’t tedious it is just being organized. Allow this next story to illustrate this principle.

WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND!

What is your reaction to working over the weekend? No doubt it involves a sigh and a wanting to do normal family things. It
is almost an instruction that turns off any positive thought.

If you can acknowledge that this is true, just wonder how many other instructions or requests have the same affect. “It’s
your turn to wash the pots,” or “When are you next mowing the lawn?”

If you make an active decision to be lethargic about a certain subject then you can be assured that when that task is ready
to be done your lethargy will return
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What needs to be done is; instead of negativity we need to introduce a positive approach. Let’s not think that we can not
tolerate a certain task; but be thankful we are physically capable of doing it. This will introduce a little positive energy into
your thought waves.

Making judgments about whether something is difficult or easy doesn't contribute anything to the level of accomplishment.
Stop categorizing tasks as difficult and you'll no longer have to do anything difficult.

In doing this we get a foothold onto the path of enjoyment and fulfillment. So that when you are next asked to work a
weekend you can admit you’re disappointed but also become positive about the benefits. It will not be long before all the
‘family’ events that were due to happen can be either rearranged or scheduled for several evenings during the week
instead.

It is not the question, instruction, request or demand upon your time that is the problem, it is your response to it.

(Andy Bolton: Personal Trainer and Positive Thinker)

Giving Up Some of What You Already Know

Wisdom is a strange subject, what maybe right for one person isn’t always right for another. What is equally important,
other than the wisdom being right for you, is that it empowers you.

Within every story illustrating wisdom and happiness there maybe an instant understanding or confusion, if it is confusion
‘accept nor reject’ and allow the understanding to develop over time.

This is how we must expect it to be. But if a particular piece of editorial empowers your soul and it shakes your very roots,
then we need to be thankful for this encounter.

Imagine this scenario, one in which there were two possible results. The very best possible result was your happiness, yet
as you study the worst possible scenario, this results in your happiness too.

Try and see the good in everything. If you have two possible solutions to a problem and the outcome doesn’t depend on
you, then if you have the ability to make the most of whatever is presented to you, you’ll survive happier.

This next story is a tussle with circumstances. But accepting them rather than fight them has proven in this example to be
more fulfilling.

LEAVE IT BE

In my early days of marriage I took on the role of cooking the evening meal as my wife was leaving work later than normal.
This situation seemed to suit us both ideally.

Yet I had a problem; when I’d finished cleaning the pots, pans, cutlery and plates and tidied them away my wife would come
into the kitchen and wipe the surfaces once more, shuffle the food around in the fridge and rearrange everything I had put
away into cupboards.

You may be forgiven to think that she was in some form of denial and found a need to contribute to the housework. Not so!
It was the same throughout the house. If I was last up on a weekend morning I would quickly make the bed; but later that
day I’d notice that she’d come into the bedroom once more and re-make the bed again.

Rather than make a fuss about this and cause an argument I chose to adapt to the way she lived. I stopped doing certain
jobs which I knew if I’d completed the task it would get done again. This continued for a few years and I noticed I’d stopped
doing many things around the house.

23
I started to get complaints for not doing anything around the house and because what I had been doing had become
habitual I’d forgotten I was doing it. I had no defence to my argument in return.

It wasn’t until I’d been doing more around the house for a week or so that I suddenly realized the reason for my lack of
enthusiasm for house work. At this moment in time I’d also forgive you for thinking that my work was inferior, but be assured
it wasn’t.

It was almost a year later when the whole scenario came to a head with a big argument. Similarly I may add to her work
load at work and the practices she had adopted.

It appears that she had taken on board the saying; “If you want a job doing right, do it yourself.” Admiration I may add to
have this quality, but it was making her sad and everyone around her. She had become paranoid about the fact that
everything should be done her way. It was as if delegation of a task was not meeting her standards.

I took her to the kitchen and deliberately moved the toaster; she moved it back. “Don’t mess me about,” she responded.

It took a few months but we managed to get her to resist correction when she had delegated. More importantly she taught
both her husband and her work colleagues to understand how and why she wanted things how they were. It helped us all
and we all now do the tasks without question; I guess we must have met half way.

Such a grip on doing the things the way you want could be harmful to your health, marriage and career. Meet half way!

(Jonathan David Butler)

QUOTE: "The essence of greatness is the ability to choose personal fulfillment in the circumstances where others choose
madness.” (Dr. Wayne W. Dyer., American Psychotherapist, Author, Lecturer).

Living Unconditionally
I don’t have the time to be happy, do you?

I jest of course, because I’ve practiced being happy for a long time. But I hasten to add, that effort although very fruitful,
doesn’t prevent sadness. Why is that you may ask?

Well it would seem a natural progression that if you studied the subject of happiness, you’d be amongst it most of the time
and other such distractions as sadness wouldn’t even come to visit. It may be the ultimate aim for most spiritual people and
for those who aim to become self realized, but along the way the emotions that cause the opposite of happiness are difficult
to shrug off.

No matter how old you are you will have shared all the possible emotions, the ups and the downs, the highs and lows etc.,
but you will need to convert from a rigid system you know, although being fully aware it doesn’t serve you correctly ALL of
the time, to a more timid and free approach within the emotion of happiness.

During each and every day we have regular moments of tripping out of sadness to see happy, tripping out of lethargy to see
contentment. But we must remember that in doing this we have an escape route. This may involve finding a word, a sound
or any possible form of trigger that will jump start this change. To be sad or lethargic isn’t being happy, so we need to see
this and fathom a way out.

Imagine this scenario, which is similar to this next story. When you’ve made a decision to walk 5 miles, and you’ve set
yourself a time limit, but there’s a little slack in it, you’ll set off walking at a brisk pace. From my experience you’ll NOT see
‘beauty’ for the first mile; you’re too concerned that you’ll over run your expected time. Having traveled one mile you glance
down at your watch and realize you’re on schedule. You may suddenly see a beautiful sunrise, which was happening in the
first mile, but your brisk march had control of your mind. The second, third and fourth mile is the time the beauty is seen.
You’ll see the blossom, you’ll smell the fragrance; life will be worth living. The last mile will get tiresome. The thought of
beauty will be lost and you’ll wish you’d brought your bicycle. You are forever looking forward saying, “It’ll not be long now.”
24
That is generally how your day maps out. When your emotion allows it, you’ll be happy and see beautiful things, yet in your
brisk marching walk and you lethargic moments, you’ll see nothing other than illusionary thoughts that often have zero
relevance.

Certainly enjoy the middle few miles, and when you notice this briskness, try and stop and invite a piece of beauty in; then
study what happens. Equally so you need to do it in your moments of lethargy.

Please enjoy…

SOMETIMES WE NEED TO ‘REALLY’ SEE!

A divisional sales manager came into work one day and was due to hold her regular weekly meeting. The purpose of the
meeting was always to motivate her staff and ultimately bring in more sales.

But today she felt different, she could hardly motivate herself. Her father had died the night before and she was going
through a period of strong reflection.

She went through her normal process of scheduling what to talk about and walked into the boardroom ready to start. As
normal all her staff looked board and lethargic and willing the meeting to get started and finished.

She stared at all the staff and started the meeting with a long silence. “No!” she said, “I’m going to speak from the heart
today.” Suddenly all her staff sat up straight and began to listen intently.

“Yesterday my father died; and all I have thought about coming into work today is about ‘what ifs’. What if I’d asked my
father that? What if I’d taken my father there? So many what ifs came to mind, but the important message was that I never
did them and perhaps I should.”

I cannot describe today’s meeting so that everyone understands better than saying ‘sometimes we ‘really’ need to see’. If
we have an impulse to ask a question or do a certain task within our life then we need to either do it, or ask ourselves why
we don’t. I know as well as everyone in this room these impulses arise every ten minutes or so and today we are all
involved in selling.

When you have lost someone close in your family you know you have missed a lot of impulses. Today for example I walked
past three gardens that had beautiful flowers growing, I decided to slow down and take in their beauty. I walk past the same
gardens for years and have never really seen their total beauty before.

As we talk to our customers today I want you to encourage a conversation about the beautiful things that surround you. Not
your favourite swivel chair, but the sun glistening onto the lake outside; not that you’re one of the best sales’ persons in the
room, but that you can hear the ring of a spoon that makes your drink of coffee; not that you have ten minutes left before
lunch, but the sound of laughter in the office.”

The meeting was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. From that day on, I noticed
brighter conversations and bigger sales.

Every once in a while, I think of how that meeting went and remember the impression that was made, and I try to appreciate
all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.

Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Look around until you can see something beautiful and
live that moment for a while because it can lift your soul.

For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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(Abigail Emily Broadbent)

QUOTE: “Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them; but as a rule the purchase of
books is mistaken for the appropriation of their content.” (Arthur Schopenhauer)

Letting Down Your Defenses

If you wish to learn new principles, new ideas, new techniques then you may find that you’ve got to ‘let down your defense’.
Why you may ask?

Everyone finds themselves in a comfort zone that they have already become surrounded in. This is by no means a strange
occurrence. It starts off as a safety net and develops into a zone. It is a safe action that eventually becomes a habit.

Allow me to illustrate this principal…

… If I asked you to join me visit a chocolate factory, how would you answer? Perhaps you may avoid the chocolate lure
because it piles on the weight.

… If I asked you to join me in a political debate in our local community hall, how would you answer? “I’m sorry I try an avoid
politics at all costs,” said a timid individual.

… If I asked you to join me in a 48 hour viewing of all the episodes of Star Trek, how would you answer? Perhaps you may
find that you diary is full.

… If I asked you to join me in a bungy jump, how would you answer? “I’m okay sitting here I enjoy my fishing by the
lakeside,” said a man wishing to stay in his comfort zone.

All these and many similar examples are people who are restricted by their comfort zone.

Please do not accept this as a criticism, but a suggestion to become more aware. If you don’t drop your defences
occasionally, nothing new can get in!

If you hear about a new method to improve your happiness it may involve letting a new concept into your life. Discounting
the new idea before you’ve had chance to evaluate it then there is certainly zero chance of any improvement.

These next few stories are illustrations of when a person saw a NEED and fulfilled it. Had they discounted it this life
changing experience wouldn’t have entered their domain.

IT WAS MY CALLING

“Why are you late?” My wife asked. “I think today I was late because it was my turn to serve a calling!” I replied.

It was a weekend and I had set off to do some routine shopping and expected the task to take two hours maximum. As I
approached this particular retail shopping complex I noticed a large crowd by an industrial unit. I was intrigued so I parked
up the car to investigate. It turned out to be a regional children’s rollerblade hockey tournament.

As I entered the arena, so to speak, I was bustled by the mocking crowds over to where the teams were entering the rink
from the dressing rooms. The excitement was clearly evident which had captured my interest and so I decided to stay for a
while.

I noticed one particular woman who domineered the proceedings; organizing the teams to come in and out of the rink. She
was definitely in charge!

It must have been a popular event as the attendance was increasing. This increase had bustled me right into the path of the
teams entering and leaving the rink. One of the teams who were leaving the rink had obviously lost the game as the
26
sadness was evident. One particular boy was inconsolably sobbing. I leaned into his path to offer some wisdom. Suddenly
the dominant woman assumed I was his father and muscled both of us into the dressing room; her instruction to me was to
get him out of the negative and back into the positive. The boy incidentally thought I was some trainer or hockey organizer.

I stood there momentarily uncertain, but soon realized I was amongst a very important NEED. I drew on all the motivational
knowledge I had and in doing so found that the rest of the team had circled the both of us listening intently. “You need to
experience the losing to know how good it is to win,” I said. “This game you have lost is a test of your resilience. You do not
lose strength after defeat, but store it momentarily for the possibility of victory,” I continued.

The team was called back to the rink for their next game in the tournament. I was gripped; I couldn’t leave now as the team
depended upon me. We won the next three games and got into the final. Each time they returned to the dressing room they
looked for me for words of encouragement.

“We lost in the final,” I told my wife. “But the team was thankful for my team talks and they gave me a rousing three cheers
as I left the dressing room.”

“It seemed to me that there was a calling and I knew how much they needed me..."

(Jonathan David Halifax)

LETTING GO OF A FIXED VIEW

I was invited to an evening Christmas party, at a local restaurant with my lady’s new place of work.

I had my doubts on the evening’s success as I didn’t know many people at the party. This very negative thought pattern
was beginning to make me dread the event.

The restaurant was known to have a basic décor, drab surroundings and this particular event was for about 80 people, but
the restaurant could hold almost 200, so my impression was that the atmosphere would be lacking somewhat.

What a negative attitude this doubt had created within my mind. I desperately tried to drop this impression. What didn’t help
my doubt was that the event was to be held on a Sunday night, I night I would normally use to prepare for the week ahead..

I needed to be positive so I studied my diary and plotted a new week.

With about an hour left before departure to the party my bones felt heavy, my attitude lethargic. I stood at the bathroom
mirror and was ashamed at what I saw! Pull yourself together, I thought.

I shaved and showered and chose to put on some of my favourite and comfortable clothes to lift that negativity away. Sure
enough within a short period of time I was looking more positive. I needed to remain with this open mind and enjoy the
evening.

The evening turned out to be a huge success. What a transformation this understanding had given me, knowing how to lift
the doubt and the negative emotion attached to it.

(Andy Bolton)

This next story illustrates how we think that what we hold onto is better than what else can be provided.

IT’S MINE AND I’M KEEPING IT!

A year old boy was sitting in his high chair in the kitchen waiting for his desert. The mother had inadvertently turned her
back on her child as she prepared the chocolate desert.

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The year old boy by chance could reach onto the kitchen surface and in doing so managed to reach a crumpled up piece of
paper. Not knowing any better it went to his mouth and he duly started to eat it.

The mother turned around to find torn paper all over the kitchen and the baby chewing paper.

She smiled and tried to remove the paper from her child’s hand but he gripped the paper tightly. “It’s mine and I’m keeping
it!” Although those words weren’t spoken the baby boy’s body language spelt out the equivalent.

As much as she tried to encourage the baby to loosen his grip by enticing him with the chocolate desert, the baby had no
intention of letting go.

As adults do in their daily life, the child wasn’t letting go although the nourishment of the chocolate desert would have been
much better than the crumpled paper he was chewing.

We as adults keep a tight grip on what we assume are good ideas and principles, when much better is there for the taking.

(Alison Roberts)

Drop What You Believe

This is very similar to ’letting down your defenses’ with one specific difference!

Of course to gain more knowledge and understanding we need to let down our defense so that NEW ideas can flood in. But
more importantly it is the CLAIM that causes all the problems.

You’ll find this quote in several places in the book because of its relevance.

QUOTE: “He who claims he knows, knows nothing. He who claims nothing knows!” (Socrates)

Imagine a fisherman stood in his local bar. He will tell you many a story about his exploits. The big fish he’s caught, the
types of fish, the weight, the length, I’m sure you know of such a person.

If you were to question him about the Arctic twin finned, humped backed, zebra striped shark fish, he is likely to correct your
description and offer some proof that it actually originated in the Antarctic. Basically he knows everything there is to know
about fishing and nobody can tell him anything new.

In some similar small degree we all do this in certain ways. But the root of the problem occurs when we make a CLAIM.
Unless we can back it up with instant evidence then to make a claim restricts any learning. In other words we remain
stubborn!

Being stubborn is a sure fire way to restrict learning. Being happy will give us an open mind.

If we can see any stubbornness within ourselves then we are in the wrong emotion to accept new information.

Here is a story to illustrate the importance of moving out of your comfort zone.

COMFORT ZONE

Living in a box! – An analogy and accusation for a person who considers little else other than themselves.

Let’s compare that analogy with living in a house, your very own comfort zone.

The boundary of your house and garden is your comfort zone and therefore everything is hunky dory. But we all know that
when we venture from the garden gate we are in for an adventure; some of which we know will be an unknown quantity.
This unknown quantity of course can cause a fear.
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Each new step into this unknown has potential to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. Instead of family, friends
and neighbours we can expand that by adding new friends each day. We are expanding outside our little box.

What is clearly evident is that when we take these adventures we are hoping for no mistakes; otherwise we want to rush
back to our comfort zone. But what can the result of making mistakes? Yes! We learn something.

When you leave your Comfort Zone you put yourself out there, in front of the world to be in a situation that you are not
comfortable with. The end result is that you have learned something that you did not already know, you expand your
knowledge to become a better person.

Staying inside your comfort zone will suppress any chance of expanding to new horizons. When you step out of your
comfort zone you create the chance of making your comfort zone expand beyond your garden gate. You will be challenging
your mind to grow stronger which is guaranteed to improve you as a person.

(Wisdom and Philsophy.com)

QUOTE: “No matter how rich you are, you still have to cope with your feelings and responses.” (Bruce Springstein)

Pain and Failure

FAILURE IS SUCCESS

Many people know it as ‘the burn’; the point in exercise where the pain is almost too much to continue. It is only at this point
that those pertaining to be sportsmen and women know they have succeeded in that day’s training.

They appear to drive themselves to the point of failure before they realize they have achieved success. So they have
programmed themselves, through repetition, to use the word "failure" in a positive sense.

If we transpose that thought pattern onto our daily life, we must admit that we don’t strive for failure knowing that success is
just around the corner. What we do however is to assume that failure is the end of the road. In doing this we turn a failure
into defeat.

Failure is not defeat but progress. Failure is a big learning curve; through failure we teach ourselves new techniques and
ideas. We need to optimize our levels of both motivation and inspiration and do not let failure be negative.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “What we see depends mainly upon what we look for.” (John Lubbock)

This quote has a depth of meaning that at first reading you don’t always recognize.

Have you ever been in a discussion or argument when the opposing person didn’t understand your point of view?

Have you ever searched for something, and then found it right under your nose?

If you’ve encountered either of those then you’ll also know that with practical philosophy and wisdom you have ‘light-bulb’
moments of recognition.

Just the other day in my office I started to look for my calculator. I work in an open office, so I know that other people come
and borrow items that they can’t find on their own desk. As the calculator wasn’t where I normally leave it, I immediately
assumed someone had taken it and not brought it back. With a little more effort I’d concluded that it had been taken. I stood
up and said, “As anyone got my calculator?” Nobody had! I slumped back down in my chair and pulled myself back up to
the desk. In doing so my elbow came to rest on the very calculator I was looking for.

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John Lubbock’s quote therefore has a little more significance. We only see what we look for. I’d wrongly accused in my
mind the other office staff, so that became a fixed view; I couldn’t see the calculator.

I’m sure by now you’ll have brought to mind a similar memory.

What are the consequences of allowing this particular aspect of our ‘mind control’ to come into play?

In both FAILURE and PAIN, we all will be only too aware that these two emotions are extremely strong. Imagine what
you’re going to SEE when you’re deep within these. You’re not going to see WHAT is really happening.

So the next question is, “How are you expected to resolve your problems, when you’re so deep within them, it is as if you
can’t see the wood for the trees?” In my own example, the calculator may have been under my nose, and I wanted to
accuse everyone else. This sounds too familiar a situation, doesn’t it?

Have we ever tried taking a side step and seeing our own problems from a different perspective?

I’ve given a short story here to illustrate how the dolphin deals with a pending problem.

THE DOLPHIN AND THE WAVE

As a new born the dolphin has to instantly learn how to swim and maneuver through the sea. One of the most graceful
animals we know in its natural habitat. But this skill of swimming doesn’t come easily.

Imagine the first time the dolphin reaches the surface of the sea. The waves and current changes and differs from those a
few feet below the surface where the dolphin has learnt to swim in the first few minutes. It would be as if the dolphin’s
original ease of swimming is suddenly under question.

The dolphin has to quickly understand the nature of waves until it can harness the power to improve its capacity to swim.

This similarity is also seen in our human behaviour when we encounter problems. If we as adults encountered a strong
current and troublesome waves we often do a runner and hide away. Problems are there to make us grow in stature not
defeat us.

Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down; it is how we handle them.

(Wisdom and Philsophy.com)

We need to bat clever, anticipate a problem arriving, and be prepared for it psychologically. In doing this, our state of mind
is supreme as opposed to being ready to wilt.

QUOTE: “That, that does not kill me, makes me stronger.” (Friedrich Nietzsche)

If you are weak your difficulties are immense. If you are strong they are more of a nuisance than a problem. If you were an
athlete, you’d be out training tonight to keep up your fitness. To build the muscles within your mind you’ll certainly need to
use them and practice regularly.

So FAILURE and PAIN – Edison, the famous scientist failed in over 2,000 attempts to create the light-bulb. It was clear
however that in this instance that Edison could well have grown in knowledge from every single experience.

To understand how best to deal with pain, we need to experience pain. No one answer will suffice for all, yet one common
denominator will run throughout each escape, that the person who solves the pain associated with a problem, with ease,
will be one who is in a better state of mind.

Actively encourage every tool you have to stay in a better state of mind and then both Pain and Failure will be short-lived
and eventually seen as an opportunity to learn rather than a hindrance.
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If we allow pain and failure to dominate our mind we will become blinkered in our view. We will not SEE an obvious solution.

THE HOUSE FLY, THE DOG and ROGER

The house fly was put into a jam jar by a child. It flew around frantically trying to escape. The parent having let the child
observe closely the house fly within the jar decided it was time to let the insect go free. The top of the jam jar was removed.

Strangely it was another hour before the fly realized that the lid had been removed and was able to escape. An hour for a
fly may equate to as much as a year in our life.

A dog had been a faithful servant to its owners and had enjoyed a wonderful and long life. On this particular weekend the
owners decided to take a weekend holiday. They asked a neighbour to call into the house and feed their dog while they
were away.

The dog owners left instructions to replace the empty dog dishes by the back door. The neighbour came to feed the dog
and put the dog’s favourite food in the dish. Inadvertently the neighbour put the dish by the side door some fifty paces away
and left the house until the next day.

The dog could smell the food but went to the back door to find the dish. No dishes of food and water and the dog received
no nourishment. It wasn’t until the following day that the neighbour went to pick up the dishes did they realize their error.

Roger was a human and had a serious problem that was making him ill. Roger had got himself into a routine of drinking too
much alcohol each day. His family, friends and colleagues told him of his plight, but he passed their comments off as
nonsense.

His physical posture was changing, his appearance was shabby; in fact Roger was only half the man he used to be. Roger
appeared to be viewing the world through blinkers and could see little other than his next fix of alcohol.

The fly, the dog and Roger had the same problem; they were seeing life in a habitual way. If life didn’t follow the same
routine they would be lost. Roger amongst the three has the best chance to see the errors of his ways, but sadly the fly and
the dog will live to see another day; Roger may not.

The moral of this story is to see and listen; if there are signs pointing you in the right direction perhaps you should take
notice of them. The fly would have been able to smell the fresh air at the top of the jar, but struggled to understand why the
glass was obstructing him; the dog could have smelt his food, but was frustrated not to be able to trace the smell to its
origination.

Roger was told by his family, friends and colleagues that his drinking to access was affecting his life. Roger could no longer
see and listen; he was stubborn. How many other adults have been accused of being stubborn? Being stubborn means you
are not listening, showing no empathy and running your life habitually.

The fly survived. The dog survived. Sadly Roger died; when we would all think that the human had the best natural skills to
alleviate such problems.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." (Indira Ghandi)

When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms.

RESOLVING EMOTIONAL PAIN

Before we start let us just define ‘emotional pain’. Pain itself is as the dictionary defines is a ‘strongly unpleasant bodily
sensation such is caused by illness or injury’. Emotional pain is more ‘mental suffering or distress’.
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Emotion as defined by the dictionary is ‘a strong feeling such as joy or anger; an indistinctive feeling as distinguished from
reasoning or knowledge.

Could we say therefore that emotional pain is ‘illusionary’? It is a pain brought to bear without proper reasoning or
knowledge being applied.

The principal to consider therefore is do we allow ourselves to dwell too long in ‘emotional pain’ when some logical
reasoning and introduction of knowledge can resolve the situation. We are the controller of our own destiny; but when
emotional pain is dominant we expect an outside source to come along and resolve it for us. We are therefore expecting the
impossible and thus leaning towards a suicidal approach rather than a sensible one.

If we were in a desert and was confronted by an illusion of an oasis, we’d blink a few times until the illusion disappeared.
The illusion was created by some desire to find water.

Emotional pain is brought about through a myriad of circumstances, one of which is a desire to self inflict a period of
distress and depression. Nonetheless what we see is that our energy to protect ourselves from such pain is consumed. No
energy = no fight.

When we encounter emotional pain we need to refuel our energy tanks. First and foremost we must identify that we are
suffering from emotional pain. This acceptance suddenly gives us a half full tank; we need to invest that energy wisely.

For us to ‘reason’ effectively we need to obtain knowledge that we have previously been without. Fifty percent of our
problem with emotional pain is to not accept it is happening or controlling us. The next thirty percent is to strengthen our
understanding on ‘resolving’; it isn’t moments with our head in our hands fraught with anxiety and distress, but allowing the
capacity of our mind to offer explanation; not a contrived explanation but a more intuitive response. A further ten percent is
to introduce a disciplined approach, to be applied succinctly and appropriately. That leaves ten percent left!

That ten percent is the problem itself. Resolving emotional pain is ninety percent allowing the mind to accept and produce a
disciplined structure of response and ten percent facts and consideration of the problem.

Understand the ninety percent portion of resolving; then the remaining ten percent is a cinch.

There is no scientific evidence that this is so, but if you find yourself nodding in agreement your intuition is serving you well.

(Elizabeth Jayne Preston)

Clutter and Hoarding

As we look at this subject its affect is twofold. Firstly it doesn’t necessarily mean that if you are untidy you are not happy,
but the implication must be that it can have a major factor in your unhappiness.

Secondly, it is about perception. I would hazard a guess that 95% of people would prefer to live in a tidy environment; the
other 5% maybe indifferent.

Do you collect and hoard? Do you have a spare room or space at the bottom of your wardrobe? Are they full? Your mind
works in similar ways. You’ll hoard old beliefs that are outdated. They are kept but are preventing space for the new! A
good analogy is that we are carrying excess baggage and unable to carry more.

Both of these, that is clutter and hoarding, are responsible for a lot of suffering.

You can often tell the state of a persons mind by looking at the tidiness of their house.

Clutter and too much hoarding may suggest that the same state exists within their mind.

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In my course of work I visit many households, and those that suffer from unhappiness invariably have an untidy house;
without many exceptions.

As with any such problem we will find that clutter and excessive hoarding cultivates a confused and restless mind,
preventing sensible decisions being made.

Rarely will such untidiness assist in a happy environment!

One suggestion and an obvious conclusion from such observations is that untidiness needs to be rectified. Do not however
think that it needs to be done instantly.

As with our attempts to improve our life into a happier state to try and resolve matters instantly will only stress our situation
further. We need to accept that a problem exists and split it into a 100 parts. These smaller tasks are easier to understand
and ultimately undertake; and thus this discipline will gradually encourage us to introduce clarity into our life.

THE DEBT COLLECTOR

I’m a ‘repo’ man and find the whole philosophy of life within the households I visit.

These people I visit have products (material possessions) within their life which they cannot afford to have and keep. They
get a short thrill from possession and then suffer unhappiness as a consequence of not being able to afford them.

More surprisingly they get angry! Angry because they think they are being cheated in some respect. Life seems to have
dealt them with a wrong card.

They spin a tale of some depth to justify their current position.

I went into a house the other day and this was the perfect example of a confused and cluttered mind. The front door was
unpainted, the front garden had rubbish strewn across the grass. I knocked and was greeted by a huge dog barking at the
glass pane.

A lady answered the door; I said I had come to repossess an item of digital technology. “Why!?” she asked. “I haven’t been
told about you collecting it.”

It is a sort of denial that the owner of the product will want it back if it hasn’t been paid for.

Eventually after a few well chosen words she invited me in to collect the item in question.

“Oh, I’m sorry about the mess I’m having a sort out,” she said.

Any person who cannot afford their lifestyle will be in denial that they are entitled to such extravagance. Such denial is seen
within their lounge. This house was so untidy I felt as if I needed to wipe my feet on the way out of the house!

Junk! Just everywhere! I had to climb over items to walk across the floor.

They claim that they have been too busy. I would suggest the busyness is not in their physical activity but that within their
own mind.

Strange as this claim I make, but those houses that are untidy seem to have the greatest financial problems. There must be
some connection.

(Jack Levitt)

Stress
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Too often we see change as a hindrance. This is a psychological problem within the mind. We tell ourselves that is the way
it is, so naturally we follow that pattern.

We can easily introduce new concepts and ideas, but it is the old that we find the most difficult to release. It is this difficulty
that causes the frustration within our mind; along with this negative emotion arises the further complexity of not being able
to move forward.

A tangled and confused mind will not operate at its peak. Yet a contented mind will offer us a wealth of possibility.

This next story, although short, illustrates how when we are agitated that we perpetuate that high state of confusion with
irrational decisions that propel us further into a deeper state of frustration.

Many may say, “Take care with your next decision.” But ultimately we need to calm the storm within our mind before a
decision is made.

THE DOE AND THE LION

A DOE hard pressed by hunters sought refuge in a cave belonging to a Lion. The Lion concealed himself on seeing her
approach, but when she was safe within the cave, sprang upon her and tore her to pieces. "Woe is me," exclaimed the Doe,
"who have escaped from man, only to throw myself into the mouth of a wild beast?' In avoiding one evil, care must be taken
not to fall into another.

(Aesop’s Fable)

QUOTE: “Riches are not from abundance of worldly goods, but from a contented mind.” (Mohammed)

Thinking
Thinking suggests you are considering a situation in the hope an answer will arrive.

When in actual fact you use the word ‘think’ too easily to describe a ‘day dream’.

I could write a book on this subject alone, but rather than get into too deep an insight can I suggest that you drop the word
think or thinking from your vocabulary.

The very strict and precise explanation of a ‘dream’ is to drift off into an illusionary state of mind. To live your life trusting an
illusion is far too risky. Yet we describe a few moments of drifting as ‘thought’.

Few things constructive can ever come out of a dream. We can set goals in life and have visions of great wealth, but they
are intended expectations and not dreams.

Let me introduce you to a principle…

Have you ever heard of the "Pareto Principle"? If you haven't, you are missing out.

Also known as "The Vital Few and Trivial Many Rule," the Pareto Principle was named after the Italian economist who
observed in 1906 that 20% of the Italian population owned 80% of Italy's wealth.

He then noticed that 20% of the pea pods in his garden accounted for 80% of his pea crop each year. Coincidence? Well, it
got him thinking...

Vilfredo Pareto applied this 80-20 rule to pretty much everything -- and whether or not you agree with it is your prerogative.
But I have found that its very application in its mathematical form helps to illustrate the dubious nature that some people
have with practical philosophy and wisdom.

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20% of your principals and morals are RESPONSIBLE for 80% OF YOUR HAPPINESS!

With other applications of the Pareto Principle, it's often impossible to determine the accuracy of the ratio (i.e., 20% of the
food you eat is responsible for 80% of your health). But in a moment that you question a philosophical principle think of the
‘Pareto Principle’; it seems to put it into perspective.

Although I digressed a little there you may have a little trust, perhaps only 20%! That thinking is a lazy word for dreaming,
and that dreaming is just an illusion and consequently shouldn’t be given any credence. Although I may add that if you
choose to give any thinking (dreaming) any degree of credence; to do so only if it is better described as a ‘goal’ or a ‘vision’.

So at this moment in time I have devalued the word ‘thinking’; or perhaps more specifically ‘dreaming’. There is nothing
wrong in dreaming… The point being made is to NOT use this illusionary state of mind as a good base to start taking
action. To drift off into a dream maybe relaxing or therapeutic, calming or settling; so, it can have its advantages but not in
the process of reason.

If by chance you came up with a good idea from a dream, strip the concept down to its bear essentials and reconsider its
potential at that stage.

Having stood on my soap box and preached the sermon against dreams as we understand them; how much credence
would you give a person if they said, “I think I know the answer to that?”

To use the word think is lazy! A more appropriate answer would be to say, “May I suggest this solution.”

Imagine again the answer being given, “I think I know the answer to that.” How close would you be prepared to admit that
this person is ‘not’ paying ‘full attention’? A lazy answer would suggest a lethargic attitude and what good has ever arisen
out of lethargy?

This next point… Instead of asking you to think, I shall ask you to ponder over its values…

Why do people ask advice?

A good answer would be because they are unsure of the answer themselves.

Why do people ask advice and then seemingly ignore it?

Your answer to a question asked on this occasion may be ‘exactly’ what this person needed to hear, but for some reason
they do not act upon it. This could lead to your own frustration and a promise that you will not offer advice to that person
again.

Whilst most people would recognise that as a fair and reasonable response, others would realise that the questioner is
crying out for help, but on this occasion you are not the person with the right AUTHORITY to give the answer.

I personally studied English ‘Law’ as part of a qualification, which can help in resolving some questions, but, and I would be
the first to admit it, I am often not the person with authority in this subject. If I suggested a possible solution to a legal
problem, few would accept my observations; yet however their value would mirror that of a proper legal representative.

It is human nature that we want answers from the correct source (the right authority).

In my youth I was able to strip a car engine down and repair and restore to its original condition. Yet if I suggested to a
colleague that their engine needed a ‘de-coke’, they would politely accept my comments but approach a mechanic for a
proper answer.

The suggestion here then is this; when you are all exhausted from trying to offer advice but getting nowhere, direct the
individual concerned to the person with authority.

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THE RIGHT AUTHORITY

In my philosophical youth, I was trying to impress my ‘in-laws’ (my wife’s parents), more specifically my mother-in-law. She
was searching, as they do, for my position/political stance on a certain topic. Incidentally she is the deputy head of a local
school for 12 – 16 year olds.

I sat back and said I couldn’t answer without all the facts. Nothing too strange there, but I sensed a need to speak out with
some ‘personal philosophy’. Perhaps a little too early in the day to be received with anticipation, my ‘mother-in-law’ sat back
with a certain degree of apprehension.

I suggested that people are better making important decisions in a good/happy state of mind. If a decision is demanded at a
moment you are stressed out, then you need to take a moment to calm down. Even to the point of meditating for five
minutes. My mother-in-law was skeptical.

Precisely two weeks later (Sunday morning), my mother-in-law was reading her favourite Sunday morning newspaper.
Guess what! A journalist had researched an article on meditation and how to calm our busy minds down.

There was the ‘authority’, the same comment from ‘my’ humble lips meant nothing, now that the same instruction was in
print my mother-in-law was prepared to consider its values!!!

(Andy Bolton)

QUOTE: “Convincing the doubter without substantiation from an AUTHORITY is like feeding a toddler a dishful of soup
using a fork. Change the fork to a spoon.” (Phil Booker)

Depression
Depression is at its extreme is a medical condition and I would therefore not be drawn into resolving its grip. But quite often
loosely we’ll describe our own sadness as a depression. It is here and here only could I suggest ways in which to loosen its
grip.

You can be depressed over money, depressed over love; in fact without further explanation there can be 1,000 subjects
that give us this deep sadness.

One observation to remember however is you cannot resolve depression whilst in a depressed state of mind. Why? That is
simply because you are not functioning on all cylinders.

For your engine to function properly you’ll need to stop, reinstate a calm state of mind, review the cause of the problem,
replace, recondition, renew or repair that difficulty and only then try to twist the ignition key again.

The key factor in resolving is to reinstate a clam state of mind. Without doing this you’ll be viewing the dilemma through
blinkers and thus not seeing the whole scenario.

Allow this next explanation to illustrate an aspect of depression, caused in our personal or business life, that is more about
‘letting go’ to find an answer than painstakingly devoting hours of our time to find a solution.

TAKING ON OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS

Have you ever had a day where you take on everyone else’s problems?

Not just problems from your friends, but you may take on situations you see on television or hear on the radio.

You may drive into work one morning, having watched ten minutes of television and be emotionally distraught over an
incident you witnessed.

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Alternatively something may have been said during the day, and you’ve hung onto it. Tossed and turned it around in your
mind, resulting in inner turmoil.

Just because you’ve chosen to listen doesn’t mean you have to accept it and allow it to come on board. The wise will listen,
as often the answer to most problems is in the question. They may tempt out the answer from the person with the problem.
They can then leave the conversation and the emotion attached to it. If the problem isn’t resolved, then the wise will allow
the memory to be kept in mind, but not allow the emotion attached to the problem to come with it.

It is as if they leave the problem to be solved in their sub-consciousness. When the answer is known it will be presented to
them.

(Andy Bolton)

The example of the lost car keys; if you pause for a few moments and trust in your memory to present you with a picture of
where the keys are you will be pleasantly surprised that it is capable of doing so.

No computer comes close to the activity of the mind. If you could only trust the answers that your mind presents you, life
would be so much sweeter. Be careful however not to confuse these with the chattering within the mind we call the ego.

When you take on the emotional attachment to other people’s problems, the turmoil within your mind will cloud your own
judgments. Of course this is not good!

Present the problem to your mind, trust an answer will arrive in due course, which could be hours, days or weeks and don’t
accept any emotional attachment.

If you could only trust in that!

The next story is a Buddhist story, written centuries ago. The plot confirms a little of what has been written above, so the
theory of not accepting but definitely listening... is not new!

THE GIFT OF INSULTS

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far
and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.

One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master.
Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his
opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning
speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.

Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior's challenge. As the
two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For
hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there
motionless and calm.

Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.

Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and
questioned him. "How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?"

"If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it," the master replied, "to whom does the gift belong?"

(A Buddhist Story)

QUOTE: “I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.”
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(Aldous Huxley)

For our next example I have used part of a speech. It is a short speech on despair, but the speech attempts to motivate you
out of the problem. If you ever get to the point of despair, you’ve not spotted the signs along the way. ‘Changing Your
Course’ or tweaking your beliefs will allow you to spot the signs earlier and prevent uneasiness before it leads to despair.

DESPAIR LEADS TO UNHAPPINESS

Despair means the complete loss or absence of hope.

While certain countries believe that war can remedy a crisis and spend billions of their currency on weapons will find that
this is not where they ought to invest their money. Confront a person who has no hope and you may find anger, resentment
and frustration leading to temper and outrage.

It is not nuclear war, terrorism, disaster and even famine that need our attention, but rather the despair, the
discouragement, the despondency and the defeat we see around us. Give a person hope and we find strength. When
people have strength in their bones they can create.

When our children shout, “It’s not fair!” are actually crying out for hope. They do not want to hear rules and regulations, they
want to hear a revelation that gives them hope.

If you have an idiot and motivate him you have a motivated idiot. Educate him with hope and he becomes self motivated.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Anxiety
Anxious as defined by the dictionary is to ‘experience worry or unease’. During this period of unrest our view can be
clouded and as a consequence our decisions can be poor. The resulting actions are more turmoil, more unrest, more worry
and more regular unease.

Often we are anxious about ‘a past action’ or ‘a future event’; either is beyond our skill to rectify. We cannot rectify a past
action, but are more ready to dwell on whether we consider it to be good or bad. We cannot expect to rectify or reconcile an
expected period in the future by considering it anxiously in the NOW. Planning a future moment is subtly different to that of
an anxious consideration.

QUOTE: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt
crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be
cumbered with your old nonsense.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

QUOTE: Immersing yourself in the troubles of tomorrow will only lead to a troubled NOW. Trust that your spirit and soul will
guide you at that future moment. Submit your troubled tomorrow to your sub-conscious mind and believe that answers will
be given. Your clarity of mind in the NOW will better guide you, than an anxious mind.” (Phil Booker)

Being anxious for events in the next few minutes or the next few days will only lead to a mind without clarity. The first step is
to identify that you are anxious and realize how that can cloud your judgment. The second step is to calm an active mind to
allow clarity to return.

As with many aspects of our emotional state of mind our ability to ‘calm’ the storm within it is an attribute we should never
undervalue. Allow me to explain further the concept of NOW. We are here in the ‘now’ following years of our own actions;
this position maybe good or bad, we can maintain it if it is good by further good actions, if it is bad a series of good actions
can turn our life around. Clarity of mind will allow such good actions to take place; and not an anxious mind.

I wish many people good luck! Perhaps they may be going for an audition, or to race in a final, a job interview, on holiday
when the weather forecast is poor or just to try and search the antique shops for a book that has been out of circulation.
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Whatever it is I still wish them luck. Yet strangely enough I don’t believe in luck. If you sat and waited for luck to come and
tap you on the shoulder, you could be waiting a long time.

I’d prefer to call good luck, good fortune. Good fortune implies it has to be worked for.

QUOTE: “All those people who appear to have good fortune will have worked three or four years to achieve that one
fortunate step. But those who don’t take steps will never understand.” (Andy Bolton)

Like good fortune, happiness can be cultivated.

If there is an area of life that is confusing, you may just be waiting for a voice of authority to inform of how to resolve the
understanding.

To go and see a comedian for an hour for example is an outside force, yet it will bring a little happiness. The deeper and
richer moments of happiness are cultivated from within.

Happiness is about enjoying life. It also means to be confident in the knowledge that you can turn meaningful tasks into
cherished moments, making positives out of negatives, turning an otherwise sour moment from an endurance test to the
start of a learning curve.

Happiness will help in making decisions. If you have a tough decision to make, and time in which to make the decision, then
try answering the question at varying times of the day.

I’ll expand on that... Try asking it early morning, when you’re rushing about. You have very little time to consider the values
of the problem and generally make a hasty decision.

Then try asking the question during mid-afternoon, when you have a feeling of lethargy. You’ll be halfway through a thought
process and get dragged into a different plot by your mind. You’ll realise this and have to start thinking about the problem
again. In fact you’ll never get to give yourself an answer.

Then try asking the same question during a moment of calm and blissful happiness, this is not calm and tired, but calm and
alert. Perhaps consider a moment when you are seeing something beautiful. The answer will appear to arrive before you’ve
started the consideration. Wow isn’t that a strange thing to happen?

If you ever have time to practice this you’ll see a different answer, or alternatively no answer; in each emotional time period.
You will never know unless you practice.

Happiness is also not dwelling in the past or considering the future. So don’t forget the future is illusionary!

You cannot alter things that have happened in the past.

You cannot create a future without actions in the present moment.

This next story is about not putting off tasks or exercises until tomorrow and realising the spiraling effect of happiness that
can give very positive results…

DON’T PUT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savour, not to endure. We need to recognize these moments
now and cherish them.

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Before the day is over, do one more thing that you were saving for 'tomorrow'. In time, you'll find that you aren't
procrastinating as much. Moreover, your workload will be lighter.

I found that during my life I was always saving some clothes for ‘best’; meaning for important occasions. Then when I
actually got to wear them I’d put on a few pounds and found those so called clothes for best occasions were wasted. Don’t
wait until another day to wear your favourite clothes. If they psychologically give you a lift because they are so nice, wear
them more often.

What about the cutlery you got on your wedding day? Are they still tucked away in their box and never used? Get them out
and feel the quality. You only live your life once, feel the quality more often!

What about your favourite perfume or aftershave; try some on when you’ve just finished cleaning the kitchen and be a little
devil. Treat yourself more often otherwise you’re leaving it for a tomorrow that never comes.

What about your family and friends? Do you see them often enough?

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written
certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. So angry and sorry that you don’t tell your husband, your wife or
your parents often enough, how much you truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and amusement to my life.

Every morning when I open my eyes I tell myself that it is special day and not to put off until tomorrow.

I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

(William Henry Cooper)

THE GREEN WOOD GATHERER (Laziness)

Once upon a time there was a world famous teacher and holy man in the city of Takkasila. He had 500 students training
under him.

One day these 500 young men went into the forest to gather firewood. One of them came upon a tree with no leaves. He
thought, "How lucky I am! This tree must be dead and dry, perfect for firewood. So what's the hurry? I'll take a nap while the
others are busy searching in the woods. When it's time to return, it will be easy to climb this tree and break off branches for
firewood. So what's the hurry?" He spread his jacket on the ground, lay down on it, and fell fast asleep - snoring loudly.

After a while all the other students began carrying their bundles of firewood back to Takkasila. On their way they passed the
snoring sleeper. They kicked him to wake him up and said, "Wake up! Wake up! It's time to return to our teacher."

The lazy student woke up suddenly and rubbed his eyes. Still not fully awake, he climbed up the tree. He began breaking
off branches and discovered that they were actually still green, not dry at all. While he was breaking one of them, it snapped
back and poked him in the eye. From then on he had to hold his eye with one hand while he finished gathering his bundle of
green wood. Then he carried it back to Takkasila, running to catch up. He was the last one back, and threw his bundle on
top of the rest.

Meanwhile an invitation arrived to a religious ceremony. It was to be held the next day at a remote village. The holy man
told his 500 pupils, "This will be good training for you. You will have to eat an early breakfast tomorrow morning. Then go to
the village for the religious service. When you return, bring back my share of the offerings as well as your own."

The students awoke early the next morning. They awakened the college cook and asked her to prepare their breakfast
porridge. She went out in the dark to the woodpile. She picked up the top bundle of the lazy man's green wood. She
brought it inside and tried to start her cooking fire. But even though she blew and blew on it, she couldn't get the fire going.
The wood was too green and damp.

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When the sun came up there was still no fire for cooking breakfast. The students said, "It's getting to be too late to go to the
village." So off they went to their teacher.

The teacher asked them, "Why are you still here? Why haven't you left yet?" They told him, "A lazy good-for-nothing slept
while we all worked. He climbed a tree and poked himself in the eye. He gathered only green wood and threw it on top of
the woodpile. This was picked up by the college cook. Because it was green and damp, she couldn't get the breakfast fire
started. And now it's too late to go to the village."

The world famous teacher said, "A fool who is lazy causes trouble for everyone. When what should be done early is put off
until later, it is soon regretted."

The moral is: "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today."

(Buddhist Tale)

QUOTE: "There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing
them.” (Dr. Denis Waitley)

Habit, Rituals and Superstition

Ritual and superstition are a form of habit, but have a strange hold. We may perform a ritual and call it an expression of
love; when in actual fact it is only a token gesture.

Rituals occur mostly in relation to fear – we decorate our fears with rituals in a form of either acceptance or rejection. A
ritual is often an action designed to protect you, but this only goes to strengthen the idea that you’re afraid of something.

Habits can be a safety net. You’ll introduce a habit to prevent a bad piece of news affecting you. You’ll use a habit in
reaction to a criticism, you’ll hide behind a habit when you’re apparently supposed to be paying full attention. Either way we
must realize that there are good and bad habits.

Good habits are a form of trigger to bring you back into a moment of clarity. Bad habits are a self defense mechanism. Bad
habits not only cloud our judgment, but prevent us from ‘seeing’ the truth.

Bad habits are the type we need to identify. In doing this we can actively seek a resolution. We need to resolve issues
rather than sweep them under the carpet. If we see them with a ‘calm mind’ we have a good chance to resolve the issue. If
we refuse to acknowledge their presence we perpetuate the dilemma.

Change
I think we all would agree that life isn’t perfect. But what does appear to happen is that as we experience a new situation,
and we notice a valuable lesson within it, we introduce that new principle into our life.

So why then do we not actively search for new experiences that help tweak our fundamental beliefs on a regular basis?

One reason is that we don’t like change. The other main reason is that there are very few classes for developing our inner
self.

Perhaps I should say that in mainstream education there is little, but even so when we see an opportunity to enroll for an
evening class that would include self development, we tend to make up excuses for not attending. It tends to infringe too
much on our time for ‘little me’. Forgive me… But sometimes that’s how it is!

Accepting change and adapting to change are important, but the only likelihood that we will gain any knowledge on this
subject is through Self-Development. We will either let life give us the experiences that develop this skill, or actively try to
educate ourselves a little.
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Once you begin to understand how change affects you, the next step is applying that knowledge. This is because old habits
die hard. We may have the new knowledge but find it difficult to apply.

QUOTE: “If you don’t like the answers you are getting in life, change your questions.” (Nate Booth, American Author and
Corporate Trainer).

Is change an important part of your life? It is integral! It is like the wind in nature; let me explain with this little story…

THE AUSTRALIAN GREAT BARRIER REEF

Most people would be aware of the Great Barrier Reef, a living coral reef stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to
Australia. It is a place visited by many travelers; especially divers who wish to admire the beauty of the coral.

One particular diver noticed the rough sees on the side of the reef that faced the open ocean and decided to dive on the
lagoon side where the sea was calm and tranquil.

The tour guide quickly advised the diver that the beauty lay on the other side of the reef.

"The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side
is constantly being tested by wind, waves and storms - surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it
is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces," said the tour guide.
Then he added this telling note: "That's the way it is with every living organism."

That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical
demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency.
Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness.

(Thomas Reed, Born premature at 1lb 11oz and had to fight for his life through childhood; who then blossomed into an adult
who spoke of wisdom with first hand knowledge. Later to become a tour guide.)

If you want to feel the wind through your hair a little more often, then be ready for the changes in life. These changes are
more certain than even the very things we expect to happen.

QUOTE: “Be good at dealing with problems and with change. Little is more certain to happen, both today and tomorrow!”
(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you
just as soon as you can change your beliefs.” (Dr. Maxwell Maltz, 1899 – 1975, Author).

So with that story and those two quotes we glean that we can self develop if we can adapt to change easily. I can almost
sense you saying, “But I do and know that already!” This may well be the case, but it is the application we ignore too
readily.

When was the last time a change occurred in your life and it knocked you for six? Imagine for example, if in your next
working day, instead of everything that was presented to you, you could handle; something cropped up that made you
squirm. Change suddenly isn’t for you!?

Accepting change and adapting to change is part of life. It becomes itself your very own method of self development. If we
could accept that every change that does occur is part of the lesson of life. Instead of treating it as a problem, let’s try
treating it as a challenge.

We are all sometimes afraid to admit that our self development is totally down to us as an individual. Any guidance we get
or any step forward we take is ultimately asking us the question, “Do we want to take action?” If we take no action, there is
no self development.
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QUOTE: “There is a belief that if we are given something for FREE we don’t value it. But if we pay it has value! Why would
we allow that to be true?” (Andy Bolton)

I for example was recently given two concert tickets for no charge. The effort to go to the concert was enormous. Yet had I
chose to buy the concert tickets, I’d have been there ready and willing. Lethargy! If it affects us in a physical way, already
having been through a mental process, what we are given for no charge seems to have little value.

Experiences in life come for NO CHARGE whatsoever. So we give them little value. Which will account occasionally for
when make the same mistake twice!

QUOTE: “People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore
remain bound.” (James Allen).

One important aspect of self development is the very vision to see that you need to do it. You are never too old to learn.

Life always seems to be full of problems. As you resolve one, another one comes knocking. It would appear to be very
important to get skilful at resolving problems. If you constantly carry problems about with you, you’ll find little time to be
happy. Being content and in peace with the world, encourages answers to arrive within our mind. If you carry a problem you
will remain blinkered.

It is essential to be able to ‘let go’ of our problems. We need to allow our mind to be occupied with other tasks. This will
remove the blinkers.

Let this little story explain that plot in a different way...

NOW MY ROLE IS DADDY

I’d been at this new job for about six months and found the role involved a breath of fresh air; plus I may add the possibility
of earning more money than I had earned before. The wage structure was based upon results, but I’ve always been a
results man, always wanted to show just rewards for grafting hard at work.

This particular day in question I had my immediate boss spend the day with me. He wanted to experience my way of doing
things; and ultimately it turned out he wanted to determine whether I was the role model to teach other new beginners.

My boss met me coming out of the house door, which was because we were on the road today. As I left the door I paused
for a moment and then jogged down the path. My boss asked me why I stood quiet for a moment; I passed it off quickly and
said, “I was Daddy, now I’m at work.”

This comment seemed to satisfy his question. I pulled out a schedule of visits I had planned. “Well organized,” was his
comment.

The day went well apart from the frustrating traffic, but I was traveling between three cities. I cursed a few times, which
surprised the boss. I normally appear as a placid person so to curse was an extreme jolt to the boss, but he could see it
didn’t go further than the hot air within the car.

As we completed a very successful day the boss felt obliged to come into the house and say goodbye to my wife as he felt
she must have contributed to my skill and judgment at work.

As we walked up the path I paused for a few minutes before I entered my house. The boss pulled me to one side. “Why are
you stopping like you do, it’s confused me all day?”

I said, “That every new task I do I need to focus upon that role. I need to let go of the previous role as the two may not be
compatible; and perhaps an anger or frustration may drift from one role to another. Stopping or pausing as I prefer to call it

43
allows this to happen. Before I enter this house door I need to switch role from worker to Husband and Daddy. The troubles,
tensions and frustrations in my job don’t belong with my wife and children.”

“The strange thing is,” I continued. “Is that those pauses give me energy. By the end of a working day those troubles,
tensions and frustrations seem to lay heavy in my mind, but by morning as I walk down the path the heaviness is lifted as I
have a new energy to resolve them.”

(Patrick Cuthbert, who become Managing Director one year later)

QUOTE: "The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex
overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting the first one.” (Mark Twain, 1835-1910, Writer).

THROWN INTO TURMOIL

I have had a strange week this week, one of which has been several battles over certain changes. I don’t refer specifically
to major changes in my life, but little events that happen each week and for some strange reason have been happening in
abundance this week. As a consequence of these changes I’ve had to change my routine. This has thrown out my good
sense of equilibrium.

I have practiced for some years to keep changes into check and avoid them controlling my next action. But inevitably... too
many at once and a sense of confusion arises.

This confusion must be allowed to arise as you understand the reason for it. Although there is an admission that adapting to
change is not easy to cope with.

The most important first step to acknowledge when such circumstances arise is to ‘accept’ that change is occurring. If you
don’t accept you are constantly fighting the change, almost as if you are swimming up river. If you accept, you’re flowing
with the river but near enough to the bank to grasp hold of a branch.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

‘Change’ is one of those situations that often we have little control over; frustration and anger or obvious results of such
events. The importance of mentioning ‘change’ is that we encounter this problem almost every day. I call it a problem at this
moment in time because that is how most of us consider it to be.

QUOTE: “If we want happiness then we must be alerted against the trap of ‘change’. Change could be referred to as a
problem that needs resolving. Problems are not problems but challenges. So happiness can be restored if we consider a
period of change as a challenge and challenges are deemed as more fulfilling to the mind.” (Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

This next story has a strange twist.

THE NON BELIEVER

He was a well educated young man and started to make a few rules to suit his lifestyle. One of which was that he would
never believe anything he couldn’t understand.

That sounds all fine and dandy, but are there many instances in our life that happen which are beyond explanation?

Immediately we think of miracles, but I would prefer us to consider smaller happenings that are beyond our normal
explanation.

I took on the role to challenge this man on his ‘non belief’.

“Do you believe that we have a mind?” I asked.

44
“Of course!” he admitted

“Do you believe that science has convinced us that we have a sub-conscious mind or higher mind?” I asked.

“There is no evidence of its existence, other than talk of it,” he replied.

“Do you believe that should we encounter a problem we need to contemplate the pros and cons and find a resolution; or
would our sub conscious mind present us with an answer?” I asked.

“The rational way of resolution is the only way as no firm proof that our sub conscious mind exists,” he replied.

“Could you confirm that ‘intuition’ exists and do you understand it?” I asked.

“Intuition does exist, but few people, as with the sub conscious mind have ever given it any scientific merit,” he replied.

“Would you allow intuition to present you with an answer to save your life; and be prepared to accept it was beyond your
own explanation?” I asked.

He paused before he replied, “Okay, I admit that would be the case.”

"Young man," I said, "if you live long, you will find that there are a great many things which you believe without
understanding. May I suggest that answers from your sub conscious mind are one of these."

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Of course I would suggest that understanding is half the battle. But it is also more of a ‘knowing’ and a ‘gut feeling’ that
needs consideration.

In a practical sense the word understanding is used. However, as we delve deeper into philosophy and wisdom, you’ll come
across the description that we KNOW rather than understand.

To KNOW is and instant reaction. To try and analyze something beyond the KNOWING could confuse the issue.

Just sometimes to KNOW is enough, without any explanation needed.

The following quote is so simple it makes me smile every time I read it. If you find that adapting to change is difficult, bring
this quote to mind. It isn’t about returning to where you were before the change, but changing course.

QUOTE: “Life is always going forward. If you feel you’re going backwards, just turn around.” (Eva Gregory)

Drop Your Ego

QUOTE: “YOU ARE NOT YOUR EGO – it is almost a spitting image puppet of the real you!” (Andy Bolton)

EGOTISM

The Prime Minister of the Tang Dynasty was a national hero for his success as both a statesman and military leader. But
despite his fame, power, and wealth, he considered himself a humble and devout Buddhist. Often he visited his favorite Zen
master to study under him, and they seemed to get along very well. The fact that he was prime minister apparently had no
effect on their relationship, which seemed to be simply one of a revered master and respectful student.

One day, during his usual visit, the Prime Minister asked the master, "Your Reverence, what is egotism according to
Buddhism?" The master's face turned red, and in a very condescending and insulting tone of voice, he shot back, "What
kind of stupid question is that!?"

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This unexpected response so shocked the Prime Minister that he became sullen and angry. The Zen master then smiled
and said, "THIS, Your Excellency, is egotism."

(Zen Story)

When do you plan on being happy?

One day we will all accept that happiness is all we EVER want! “I will work longer hours so that I earn more money, more
money equates to more happiness,” said a pleasant but soon to be bewildered individual. If that comment was true, which it
isn’t, we’d all want money to make us happy.

Go sit in a wealthy neighbourhood and start counting the laughs!

With that observation we can thus understand that more money doesn’t bring happiness. More money just brings a bigger
degree of responsibility. If you can’t handle responsibility, then more money can bring you ill health through stress; a
noticeable divide from happiness.

We are given an ego to master it. Mastering it is in the ‘letting go’ and it is then that you’ll experience greater rewards.

Happiness is a different concept. Happiness is the result of being able to control your emotions as they rise and fall.

Imagine if you picked a beautiful red rose and placed it in the most ornate small vase and left it on open view in your house.
You will pass that rose perhaps fifty times each day. When you are happy you will see that rose, other times you will be too
busy or too tired to notice it; and then when you have a really hot temper you’ll knock the vase off its footing with a swipe. I
can honestly admit I’ve never been there myself, but I can understand the emotional entanglement associated with temper.

Your emotions have a powerful control over your actions and thoughts. So if you could control a temper down to just a
simmer, you’d be onto something.

Monks and nuns have very few possessions; why? It is because they don’t need them to be happy and content.

Your ego is a trap and can affect your perception. What you always need to consider is that there is always another
possibility. TRUST in your sub-conscious mind cum higher mind to deliver the alternatives.

Ego wants you to put your own stamp on ‘anything’. Take a joke for example – you’ll put your own twist on it the next time
you tell it, it won’t be in the same form as you originally heard it. Now consider how your ego twists originality as you
consider religion. How many interpretations will we experience designed by ‘ego’ – will we ever experience it in its original
form and intention?

Let’s look at an important principle… If you TRY to apply ‘reason’ you may find that the TRYING encourages our ego to
take over and dominate our thoughts. Thus we are not using REASON properly. It is as if we are using scissors to cut a
privet hedge when twenty strides away we have some shears.

To bypass our ego we need to ‘connect’; this connection is encouraged by ‘doing’ rather than ‘trying’. Doing with full
attention will prevent the ego from controlling your power of reason.

This next story is a little twist on what has been said so far, regarding the emotions we have and the ultimate controller if we
allow it to be - the ‘EGO’.

So if we can control our ego we can at least attempt to control our emotions. There is no suggestion we can ever rid
ourselves of our ego, but simply fix some reigns upon it, so that you can hold it back from charging ahead without your full
permission.

Most people have a view that is cemented within their mind on how we achieve happiness. Allow that cement to be broken!
One FIXED view is too regimented! We need to allow our VIEW to be ready for constant change.
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HAPPINESS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Everybody at some stage in their life has prompted a state of happiness by suggesting they are waiting to be happy
because of an event that is pending; this maybe something due to happen tomorrow, next week or next month. Little do we
realize how limiting this can be!

If there is something frustrating you at the moment, you’ll tend to make a statement, such as; “I’ll be glad when my children
are grown up,” or “I’ll not be happy until they have finished fitting that kitchen,” or “I’ll not be happy until the doctor has found
out what’s wrong with me.” All of these and similar have a time limit! You are imprisoning yourself behind an imaginary
protection field.

Basically you are saying, “I’m not going to be happy until this event has finished.” You are imprisoning yourself behind bars,
self inflicting unhappiness for a fixed period of time. The sad part about this problem is that it doesn’t go away. The moment
the selected time period finishes you impose another one; the practice of doing this is habitual.

The power of our own words can prevent us from being happy. Okay if something is troubling us then we have a right to be
frustrated, but we shouldn’t sentence ourselves to being unhappy. Instead of loosely making a quip that begins the habit of
sending us behind bars, we should articulate our feelings with less mental anguish as a result.

Instead of saying, “I’ll not be happy until the doctor has found out what’s wrong with me,” you should be saying, “whilst I’m
waiting for my diagnosis I must remain positive, eat well and keep my strength. When the Doctor has offered me an
explanation following his investigations I must listen and follow his suggestions for recovery.”

When you limit yourself, you limit your potential; very little will ever arise during unhappiness. Yet if you remain happy, your
view remains open and the possibilities are endless.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with
challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

STOP WAITING TO BE HAPPY!

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “Any plan is bad which is not susceptible to change.” (Bartolommeo de San Concordio, Painter & Writer)

Control – You cannot be happy by being in control

QUOTE: “Is life what you make it?”

Generally speaking it is… But if you take the quote literally there is a slightly different meaning.

Sometimes if you MAKE your life what it is there is an implication of control. To be IN control has elements of negativity.
Any form of negativity restricts your view of life.

Am I saying CONTROL = FAILURE? You may need to control your weight, but you don’t need to control your daughter’s
relationships.

The essence of control is based upon ‘need’ rather than ‘want’. If it is a ‘need’, you require to have educated the body and
soul and then trust that the mind will apply these rules and principles.

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If it is a ‘want’ then it is not control you need but greater TRUST. If your life isn’t operating as you’d like, then ‘let go’ of the
controls, start again and introduce more trust. If you can encourage a respect for rules, beliefs and principles; then there is
no need for permanent control and the anxiety and stress are released.

If when you are in control an opportunity arises you’ll be so engrossed in your ‘control desire’ that you could let pass an
opportunity to become happy. This is because you already think that being in control will lead to being happy.

Imagine for example you decide on a ‘face lift’ using surgery; this is taking control. You know that following such surgery
you’ll be happy again. The very implication and limitation you set by saying you’ll be happy again suggests that until the
surgery is done you’re not going to have any happiness. What happens then if the surgery appointment isn’t for four or five
months? You’ll be imprisoning yourself in sadness until the surgery is complete.

Although that is a simple illustration of seemingly taking CONTROL, such control does nothing else than make you head-
strong and gives you tunnel vision.

We are already ‘in control’ why take it to a different level? To give an event a name such as ‘taking control’ suggests too
many limitations. There is nothing wrong with cosmetic surgery, but it must be done with the right intention.

If I for example wanted to take control of ‘my day’ and schedule too many activities I will no doubt introduce the possibility of
stress, frustration, anger and confusion; all of which act in the opposite way in which I originally intended. To take control
doesn’t allow for variations, flexibility, interruptions and changes, any of which spoils your plan and subsequently introduces
a negative response. What follows as a consequence of being negative is a series of poor decisions.

This next story is amusing, yet it rams home the necessity to allow the course of events to flow rather than TRY and
CONTROL them.

YOU’LL LIVE FOR ANOTHER 30 YEARS

A lady aged 53 was taken seriously ill into hospital. On the operating table she had an outer body experience. An angel,
dressed in white stood by the table.

The lady asked, “I see an angel and not the grim reaper, what does that mean, will I survive?”

The angel replied, “Do not worry you are due to live for another 30 years,”

Suddenly an inner strength was created and her recovery on the operating table was swift.

When she arrived home she contemplated her future; if she was to live for another 30 years then she was going to make a
few changes in her life. She looked in the mirror and decided to have a little cosmetic surgery. To fund this surgery she sold
her house and moved to a smaller house in a different neighbourhood.

A face lift, tummy tuck, lipo suction and the rest. She felt so much better for doing this knowing her life had been extended.
Sadly after she left the hospital she got knocked down by a bus and died on the operating table. The grim reaper was there
ready to take her away.

“Why! Why!” she exclaimed. “I was told I’d got another 30 years to live.”

The grim reaper replied, “It appears we didn’t recognize you!”

(Stephan Greenway)

QUOTE: "Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and
joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share.
Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." (Og Mandino,
1923-1996, Author and Speaker)
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People who are control freaks do so because they think they control their own destiny.

Imagine a moment when you are in control, then suddenly an incident happens that you’d not planned for. What to do? In
the first instance you become annoyed at your plans needing a change and frustrated at having to change.

These two emotions lead to poor decisions. THINKING that you are in CONTROL has a tendency to promote a negative set
of circumstances. However if we describe the same set of circumstances by saying that you allow the world to unfold and
are prepared for any eventuality, the decisions you make are from a far superior state of mind.

If you were ever given a project at work you no doubt would analyze the circumstances and reason out a good action to
take.

If you were given a garden to clean, you would remove the dead wood, the fallen leaves, the weeds and the overgrown
grass and plants; basically you would cut back to the basic garden before you started with the planting of the new seeds.

If you were given a cranky car to repair, you’d replace items one by one to determine which item was the faulty part. In
order to eliminate eventually the item that was making the car sound cranky. If you couldn’t identify it immediately it would
have been a process of gradual elimination.

All such circumstances are done through a process of reason, but first we must accept that one or more items are required
for replacement whether they are apparently needed or not.

It is difficult to apply such simplicity to our own self. How can we identify a problem within our self?

Don’t even try!

Such analysis can be frustrating and when we are frustrated our actions are poor. How can we self develop if we are
making poor actions?

In wisdom the next action should be wholesome. Try to avoid considering who and what you are, just continue to make
good actions. To most everybody you are the sum total of your last few actions.

EASIER KNOWN THAN DONE

One day, the famous poet Bai Ju-Yi (Po Chu-I) asked Master Niao-Wo, "What is the essence of the Buddha's teaching?"

Master Niao-Wo said, "Refrain from all unwholesome deeds and perform all wholesome deeds."

Bai chuckled, "Ha! Even a child knows that."

The master replied, "A child may know it, but not even a one-hundred-year-old can do it."

(Buddhist Story)

QUOTE: “Everything in life that we really accept undergoes a change.” (Katherine Mansfield)

CHASING TWO RABITS

A martial arts student approached his teacher with a question. "I'd like to improve my knowledge of the martial arts. In
addition to learning from you, I'd like to study with another teacher in order to learn another style. What do you think of this
idea?"
"The hunter who chases two rabbits," answered the master, "catches neither one."

(A Zen Story)
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DAMBUSTERS

I took five children into the Derbyshire countryside and we stopped by a little brook. The water was shallow so it was safe
for young children.

I sat on the bank and suggested they all began to make a dam. I placed them about twelve feet apart and they began
collecting stones to make their dam.

In this first instance I may have been wrong separating them instead of encouraging them to work as a team. But
nonetheless the first hour was fine and uneventful. The second hour was fraught with anguish, anger and frustration; as
each child looked at the other attempt to make a dam.

Suddenly they were are squabbling and kicking each others dam. As the responsible adult it was time to take action. We
left the brook and moved to another beauty spot further up the valley. As we left each child individually kicked their over
own dam and walked with me back to the car.

I considered what had happened and realized how easy children ‘let go’; one moment they were ready to defend their dam
with fighting and the next they were skipping back to the car without a care in the world. As an adult had anyone spoilt my
afternoon’s work I may have held a grudge for years.

(William Henry Cooper)

A FIREMAN OR A FOOTBALLER

Two newly weds were discussing their future and the conversation came around to children. If they had a son the husband
suggested that he would teach the son the skills required in becoming a professional footballer. The wife suggested that her
father had been a fireman and had earned a good living and would like to see their son taken towards that goal.

Although the newly weds weren’t strictly arguing there was clearly a difference of opinion. They asked their families and
friends to offer their opinion; none of whom chose to offer any view and kept out of the disagreement.

A few months later they met a wise man and chose to pose the question to him. “Bring me the boy,” the wise man said.

The newly weds said, “But the boy is not born yet!”

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Keeping Secrets
Let us talk about ‘Keeping Secrets’. Their relation to children first is that children find it difficult to keep a secret; and why?
This is because it tortures their heart and soul.

Children almost enjoy telling of their secrets with a boundless joy, as if, they are releasing a great weight from their
shoulders.

In doing this it is this experience that encourages any secret early in their life to be shared with everyone or anyone.

Imagine as an adult that you are keeping a secret, the moment the memory of the secret arises you are engrossed with
remorse. This is a negative and consequently limits your skill of making good decisions.

To keep a secret keeps a hidden pocket of negativity awaiting to be unlocked the moment the memory arises.

Whilst it is a suggestion to keep no secrets, many will have the odd secret locked away in the archives of their mind. Don’t
change this for the moment, but try actively to not ADD to this archive.
50
The negativity that surrounds keeping a secret suppresses so many natural reactions. Your compassion for example may
be diminished; the empathy you could have is lost as you are momentarily confused, thus follows a series of poor
decisions.

Imagine you were the ‘children’ in this next story; a story illustrating compassion for life. Yet such innocence by the children
is not overshadowed by any history. I hope you can understand how the clarity of compassion, as one example, is
magnified without keeping a secret.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

It was a bright Sunday morning and the children were out playing. The street we live on has open plan front gardens and
there are ten houses before the corner is turned. The sun was shining and several neighbours were out in their front
gardens cutting and pruning their flowers. I was sat on a sun lounger with a hot drink in my hand.

Suddenly two well dressed individuals came around the corner and knocked on the first door. It was some religious sect
that was trying to recruit followers. All the adults spotted in a moment and scampered inside their house. The children
watched in amazement as adults, what appeared to be in turn stopped what they were doing and went out of sight.

My own feelings drew me to go inside as well, but I watched the children being extremely confused and thought it best to
stay where I was.

Each door was knocked upon and each door they got a chilly response. I was the only person who gave them a polite
response, but still I didn’t want to join their cult. Their expression and resolve wasn’t broken and they walked onto the next
street.

The children hurried over to me to ask why everyone had rushed indoors and I hadn’t? I found it difficult to start an
explanation. Adults had seen the fear of being confronted with a religion they didn’t want to be involved in; but the children
had seen some very well dressed adults who were extremely polite.

The home owner’s observations, which caused them to rush inside their own home, was shrouded by their previous history
of such visiting people; yet the children were innocent to such preconceptions.

(Mark Hanstock, Care Worker and Father)

Secrets are like history… they make you pre-judge every situation. For example you may have a history of contact with
tramps on the street; as a consequence you may not be able to show compassion. What you do show is your history.

QUOTE: “Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth
directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience.” (Francis Bacon, Essays, Civil and Moral)

So to conclude this section I would remind everyone to be aware of the trigger to negativity that keeping a secret can
create. The moment we remember the secret is the moment our clarity is lost; we become pre-occupied by fool hardy
decisions to keep the secret from being known.

Doubt
The great philosopher Descartes suggested we should doubt all our beliefs until we could confirm those beliefs as
absolutely correct. Otherwise those beliefs could be infected by an unnoticed error.

An abundance of doubt could be considered skeptical but healthy. Yet in the wrong hands doubt can make you act
irrationally and suspend judgment for too long.

So can DOUBT, hinder the process of SOLVING PROBLEMS so that we can return to happiness?

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Many of us do not believe in God, Santa Claus, a Buddha or any Spiritual Beings. In effect we have doubt!

If we remain open-minded we improve our system of belief as we can add to it. If we are close minded we do not allow any
strange belief getting close to being understood.

Whilst this next story may never give you a belief in Santa Claus, what it does do however is to give you a belief in the
concept of Santa. Such concepts allow possibilities, if we discounted the power of the concept we shut the door on
opportunity.

JOE’S PLEA FOR CHRISTMAS

Joe was a child from a family who loved each other, but sadly lacked a good income into the house. The father had suffered
an accident and couldn’t attend full time work; the mother wasn’t qualified to earn a good income but worked long hours
cleaning. Joe was one of four brothers and two sisters.

It was approaching Christmas and Joe had prepared a list of what he would like for Christmas; at the top of the list was a
bike, but sadly his father couldn’t afford a bike. The other children had accepted that really good presents didn’t arrive at
Christmas, but Joe was only five and he still thought everything came from Santa.

Joe’s father tried to explain that Santa couldn’t always afford expensive presents, but Joe seemed to be determined to
convince Santa that he wanted a bike. Joe asked his father if he could write to Santa and ask him for a bike, and of course
he thought it was a good suggestion.

Joe and his father went to the post box to send this request to Santa.

As the post was getting sorted Joe’s letter was sent to the post offices’ managers table. The manager smiled at the request,
but as Christmas was looming it was one of hundreds and needed to be sent along its way. The office was busy and the
manager got called away to deal with a problem.

It was Christmas Eve and the post office manager was gathering his documents together as he was preparing to go home
for Christmas. As he picked items from his desk he revealed Joe’s letter. This letter should have got sent to Santa. He read
the letter and felt guilty. His own son had discarded a bike that had been put to the back of his garage. He shot home to see
if his son was prepared to let Joe have his bike for Christmas. His son agreed and off they went to Joe’s house.

Joe had his best Christmas ever and he wrote a big thank you note to Santa.

(Jack Woodhead, Joe’s uncle)

QUOTE: "If doubt is challenging you and you do not act, doubts will grow. Challenge the doubts with action and you will
grow. Doubt and action are incompatible." (John Kanary, Speaker and Success Coach).

QUOTE: “Never is fear so insidious as when it cloaks itself in the guise of love. Fear is the only thing standing between you
an anyone, you and anything.” (Dr. Eric Pearl)

QUOTE: “Fear is the absence of love, just as darkness is the absence of light.” (Dr. Eric Pearl)

Limitations
I once heard a prominent business philosopher suggest that it is a good idea to take your children to the rough side of town
and ask them if they’d want to live there. If they abruptly answer, “Ooh no!” then you can immediately offer some wisdom
such as: “that these people are those that don’t save 10% of their pocket money because they think it’s better to spend it all
at once.”

It is a story that follows my belief of using illustration to help educate.

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It wouldn’t be big news to you if I said that today and tomorrow you’ll encounter some more problems. As you will find you’ll
do for the rest of your life. Problems don’t go away, but you can minimize their affect.

Too many people sit in the rough side of town and think that’s how it’s going to be forever and don’t allow new knowledge to
enter.

If we have a fear that we have ‘something’ wrong with us; this very notion becomes a block. You may say in defense that,
“The world is against me!” The truth however is that such a block will remain with you until you let it go. Give yourself more
credit! Life will always improve if you treat yourself better.

One of the ways to do this is to allow education to arrive from outside your ‘comfort zone’.

Knowing what you know in your comfort zone will only ever solve half of your problems. The purpose of wisdom is to extend
the boundaries of your zone.

Let’s go to the rough side of town again… Tell a child that being able to read and write properly will improve their ‘salary’
when they start work by 30%. What will be the response? Perhaps a blank face, although a certain knowing. But for sure
within seconds they’ll turn their back and carry on playing.

Tell the same child that reading and writing will make them an ‘wolf’ as in the next story and see if they pause and think.

Stories like this have been an important part of a child’s upbringing in the last 100 years, but today nobody is bothered
anymore, they assume society will do it for them.

THE WOLF AND THE SHEEP

One day some meddling men took a cute newly born wolf and ran away with it. The land was owned by a farmer who
thought these men were stealing his lambs.

Exhaustion had made the men gasp for breath at the top of the hill, but it wasn’t long before a farmer was hot on their trail.
Their escape was slower holding the wolf, so they left it behind. By the time the farmer had reached where they had left the
wolf a small flock of sheep had gathered around the baby wolf. The farmer noticed this and left the sheep alone with the
wolf. The poachers had escaped without a catch.

The wolf grew up with the flock and thought he also was a sheep. He ate the grass and bleated like the rest of the sheep.

One day a real wolf came along to eat the sheep. The sheep ran off, including the wolf that thought it was a sheep.

The wolf lived and died a sheep, because that is what he thought he was.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “Lots of people limit their possibilities by giving up easily. Never tell yourself this is too much for me. It's no use. I
can't go on. If you do you're licked, and by your own thinking too. Keep believing and keep on keeping on." (Norman
Vincent Peale, 1898-1993, Pastor, Speaker and Author)

Problems
Most of our life we gripe about problems, when in reality they are small in comparison to others in the world.

If we choose to put our problems in perspective, then we realize how small and inconsequential they are. Upon this
understanding we should find it easier to resolve our difficulties.

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While ever we fuel our frustration, with the anger over our problems, we complicate our thought pattern. The normal instant
answer is withheld and we instigate an answer that will be negative and result in further confusion.

As ever we need to calm down before an important decision is made. Yet our habit is to think our problems are bigger and
more important then any other persons.

If we could introduce a new habit of putting our frustrations into perspective, our problem solving technique would be both
speedier and more affective.

This next story explains the very principle of thinking your problems are huge and a big burden upon your shoulder.
When… If you care to look they are small in comparison.

THE CASUALTY DEPARTMENT

I was confused, bewildered and anxious about my condition. I was coming out in hot sweats and experiencing momentary
loss of memory, I was short tempered and the pain was dull but constant. I visited my doctor and he prescribed a course of
tablets to stabilize the symptoms.

I thought it was just a virus and that the tablets would cure the problem. A week later my symptoms hadn’t changed and the
course of tablets had finished. I went back to the doctor.

He asked if I was under any stress, to which I replied no more than normal. He left the room and on his return I seem to be
transfixed into some sort of dream. He touched my shoulder which brought me back.

The doctor admitted that his initial diagnosis may have been wrong; he immediately sent me to the local hospital for further
checks.

As I reached the casualty department I was shocked. Two people were rushed in after a car accident covered in blood. One
man had come in with a bandage over his hand saying he’d severed his fingers in an industrial accident. An old lady was
sat on a wheelchair with facial injuries following a burglar attack. A teenage boy was struggling to keep his sight in one eye
following a prank that had gone wrong.

The hour I was sat waiting I saw many serious injuries which made my problem seem small. After my initial consultation I
was directed to a psychologist who suggested that I’d allowed the pressure of life to overwhelm me. He gave me a course
of actions to take to avoid these symptoms happening again.

When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may
consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined. If you have the ability to see this, then you’ll find a strength to assist
in your own recovery.

(Barbara Butcher)

QUOTE: "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.” (Eldridge Cleaver).

QUOTE: “God does not make clones. Each person is different, a tribute to God's creativity. If we are to love our neighbours
as ourselves, we must accept people as they are and not demand that they conform to our own image.” (Henry Fehren)

Sometimes, and it happens to us all, we can’t get our head around a particular problem. So much so in fact it becomes
rather obsessive. This obsession then starts to rule our every thought. This is not a peculiar set of circumstances, rather a
regular one.

We become fixed in our viewpoint and will not budge. Do you recognize this at all?

So if this happens every so often you can bet during this period of dwelling on the obsession, you’re not happy. Far be it
from being obvious, it would be wise not dwell for a short period; the imperative word being ‘short’.
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In personal interaction this may happen on a regular basis, whereupon you disagree on a certain subject; to the point in fact
that you fail to see any point in having a relationship with this person.

Firstly you need a little slack, so you can step back and see the damage you’re doing. In doing this you may loosen the grip
you have on your judgment, plus what is so wrong in having two different viewpoints? It can be a healthy option.

The point being made here is that we need to determine our need to stay with the judgment as opposed to the damage it is
doing in a relationship. Rarely will you find that keeping the judgment is worthwhile. Our perception of a problem will remain
as it is unless we allow it to loosen its grip.

Whenever you look back on a problem in the past you always seem to see that a better option was available, but you was
too stubborn, too narrow minded, too pig headed or too blinkered you couldn’t see anything other than straight in front of
you. These emotions of course shut the door on happiness.

If only you could reflect sooner! What would make you do this? A route back into a happier state of mind the moment you
feel sad or the moment you look in the mirror and can’t force a smile. Try going to a place that you associate with
happiness. It may be a porch chair overlooking the fields, a view of a reservoir, a glistening meadow, a wooded hillside, a
playground full of children. Whatever, wherever, please go and visit it; because the decision you make in a happier state of
mind has a value that a stubborn decision hasn’t.

This next story is about a decision that needed little time and attention. The decisions following however didn’t need much
reorganizing and was soon forgotten as what was allowed was an acceptance of the initial error.

MY 100 MILE DRIVE

It was part of my job to collect items from various houses. On this particular day I had fifteen addresses to collect from and
I’d estimated it would be a 100 mile round trip.

I sat in the office to decide upon a route and no matter which way I chose to do it the distance to travel was more or less the
same.

I needed to take to the motorway. As I drove to my first exit I must have been occupied within my mind with some duty or
other because I missed the exit I needed. All the planning in the office was now worthless unless I went up to the next exit
and turned around and came back.

Was I to feel sad because I made a mistake or should I quickly reorganize the journey?

I contemplated how easy it would be to turn around at the next exit, but my gut feeling didn’t pull me towards doing that. It
was excited about planning a new journey by making the most of the error that I’d inadvertently made.

As soon as I had accepted that I’d made a mistake I received a flood of possible solutions; differing routes to complete my
task. I was back in the office an hour earlier than I’d expected and only traveled 81 miles. Perhaps there was some greater
force at work?

The moral it would appear is that small errors can be rectified with a positive mental attitude. If I’d stuck to my original plan I
would have been cursing myself for the error and that disgust would have multiplied during the rest of the journey, causing I
would suggest further errors.

(Andy Bolton)

QUOTE: “If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” (Mary Engelbreit)

Mistakes
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We dream and read how love should be perfect. It is not too long before subconsciously that is how we expect it to be. So if
it doesn't measure up we question its very existence.

Before we get to the mechanics of a mistake allow me to illustrate how an incident that is almost non existent can affect so
many people, to the point that mistake after mistake arises.

A SHORT FUSE

My life wouldn’t be too dissimilar to most. I have a family I love and seldom does anything question its intensity, or for the
purpose of this next scenario, its perfection.

I may know where to turn for some inspirational wisdom, but under pressure, these circumstances can alter.

I use the word pressure, when it could be words such as stress or confusion.

The route of my dilemma however was nothing so grand; it was toothache. This very pain had been frustrating my approach
to everything. In other words I was on a short fuse.

I would guess however my version of a short fuse will differ in time and intensity than most.

My two children were to be annoying sooner than normal and this had caused me distress as I saw this play of frustration
unfold.

I also found that my normal politeness was lost and every comment was more forthright and demanding. Soon to be an
explosion! All because of toothache!

I am a man, too proud to admit I was in pain and was sure the toothache would disappear.

Rather than explain any more of my own personal story, I would hope you could see how a “Stitch in time could save nine.”
Had I realized sooner I needed attention at a dentist then my fuse wouldn’t have been so short.

When you are in love every imperfection is accepted, to the point of being an attribute to the love. When you live on a short
fuse those small imperfections are not accepted anymore.

The very fact you are questioning these imperfections is for a reason; and that reason is based upon it being self inflicted. I
can confirm that during this play of pain and anguish that I was experiencing, the more I realized I was doing it, the more
the fuse shortened. I was becoming more and more frustrated.

I was questioning the very perfection of each member of the family unit.

(Andy Bolton)

Imperfections are tolerated, accepted and adored in love. Perfection does not exist, only in love.

Do not search for perfection, search for love.

Whilst this next story, a Sufi story, means little on its own, if it is taken in context with “Perfection comes after love,” you’ll
understand it better.

PERFECTION DOESN’T EXIST

“I’m getting married on the morrow, Mulla,” pronounced his friend, smiling from ear to ear. Mulla Nusrudin was quiet and
thoughtful. “Isn’t marriage wonderful, Mulla. It is quite the best! Have you ever considered getting married, Mulla?”

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Mulla Nasrudin sighed, “In my youth I thought of nothing else. In fact, I so wanted to find the perfect wife I travelled the
world searching for her. In Damascus, I met a woman who was beautiful, spiritual and loving, but, alas, she had no worldly
knowledge. In Isphahan, I met a woman who was beautiful, loving and worldly, but, alas, she was not interested in the
spiritual life.”

“Where did you travel to next, Mulla?” asked his friend. “I forgot where, but I met a woman who was truly spiritual, loving
and worldly, but, alas, she was not beautiful. Finally, I went to Cairo and there, after much searching, I found the perfect
wife. She was everything I wanted her to be. She was perfect,” sighed Mulla Nasrudin.

“If she was so perfect, why did you not marry her, Mulla?” asked the friend. “Alas,” said Mulla Nasrudin, shaking his head,
“she was, unfortunately, looking for the perfect husband!”

(An old Sufi story)

The clue here of course is that Mulla would need to be in love first, before any form of perfection could exist. The quote that
follows also shows how, when in love, the world is better.

QUOTE: “When you have loved as she has loved, you grow old beautifully." (W. Somerset Maugham).

So back to the subject of mistakes! What is a mistake for you and I may not be for someone else, so in discussing a specific
subject would be of no help. The actual definition is: “A thing that is incorrect,” “An error of judgment.” So a mistake follows
an action that leaves an item either incorrect or with an error.

How can this be relevant to our happiness? Examine a moment within the last 24 hours where you’ve made a mistake.
Under normal circumstances you’ll temporarily feel the emotion that followed that mistake; most of the time that emotion is
sad. You are frustrated that you’ve allowed such an error to take place.

So it would follow that making mistakes leads to unhappiness. But if you remember the emotions that surrounded the
toothache story earlier you’ll realize how simple it is to make mistakes and not fully appreciate the affect it is having on your
surroundings.

There are three major observations to consider in the hope we can recover from a mistake and swiftly return to happiness.

Firstly we need to admit we’ve made a mistake; this is the same principle as ‘Admission and Acceptance’. Secondly we
need to correct it; and finally we need to be aware of the subtlety of our emotion and how it can cause us to make mistakes.

Yes this subject is actually very complex as occasionally we do not know we’ve made a mistake. But often mistakes are in
the realm of KNOWING. We are almost stopped in our tracks when a mistake occurs as if our intuitive self is trying to tell us
something. Exploring this intuitive response is worthy of greater examination but at the moment it is important to just be
aware of it occurring and doing our best to both correct a mistake or admitting its presence.

Justification
We’ll have a little investigation behind the theory of justifying.

First it is appropriate to define the word…

Justification: “To prove or show to be just, to vindicate, to maintain or defend as conformable to law, right justice, propriety,
or duty;” considered to be ‘support’ for an ethical action.

Whilst justification in its precise definition is perfectly fine, how often do you think this world uses it that way? With a wild
guess many would say 95%, yet most of the time JUSTIFICATION is used incorrectly.

Justification is a powerful word and subsequently people use it in a sentence to clarify their opinion; NOT to prove anything
that is JUST.
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Try and recall a situation recently whereupon someone has said they will justify their decision or action. They don’t prove
anything that is JUST! They ramble on about WHY in their opinion this has happened. Mistaking of course the interpretation
of the word and assuming that their ramblings are perfectly understandable and JUST.

BEWARE therefore of anyone, including yourself when they or you CLAIM a justification is required. It is likely to be no
more than a cluster of opinion thinly disguised as the truth.

QUOTE: “Do you strengthen opinion, or strengthen the power of no opinion? When no opinion exists there is only truth.”
(Phil Booker)

Imagine these two comments:

“Allow me to justify…”

“Allow me to explain…”

To justify in today’s society seems to be nothing more than a bunch of opinions. An explanation however is allowing the
listener to form their own opinion.

We foolishly accept that when a justification is made, our guard against corruption is down and we allow our mind to be
convinced of anything.

Our opinions therefore can be disguised behind the word ‘justification’. Our ego is more than eager to force OUR opinion on
everyone else.

QUOTE: “It is hard to fight the enemy who has outposts in your head.” (Sally Kempton)

Here is an excerpt from an Educational Course; proving I may say that society is leading us to improve our process of
accumulating opinion upon opinion.

PROJECT TO JUSTIFY

Your project is to Justify the Horrific. Think about the range of problems you know something about; drop by the library and
read some recent news magazines if you need to. Then set out to justify, as logically as possible, the most horrific "solution"
you can think of. You will have the fun of trying out all your most careful argumentation--constructing logical proofs,
adducing evidence and reasons to support your suggestion, explaining the many benefits to be had, and disposing of
alternatives or opposition to your plan. Take on the role, for example, of justifying the genocide, cultural destruction, and
eco-devastation of Tibet by the Chinese military occupation. Or pick any other issue you care enough about to play out.

Those of you who are history buffs might choose a variation of the project. Choose a terrible event in history and justify it,
defend its perpetrators, and puncture the condemnations of those who have condemned your event then or now. Explain,
for example, why throwing Christians to the lions actually performed many public services at once, cleansing the Empire of
a fringe sect, entertaining the citizenry, exercising the lions, lowering the food bills for the official menagerie. Surprise us:
avoid the predictable.

(Rhizome)

The suggestion from reading this text is that whilst the skill of organization is shown, the exercise is aimed to strengthen our
use of compiling our opinion, rather than compiling facts and truth.

To conclude this brief observation - we must become aware that too many people hide behind the power of justification.
They use it to give their opinion; and do it successfully as if their opinion was the truth.

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Justification is almost like having to listen to a hard sell technique. As if one says, “This is how it is and this is how you are
going to react.” Explanation however allows the listener to judge for them self.

Allow this next story to illustrate how we could misinterpret justification for ‘the truth’; here the truth is questioned by calling
into question our integrity.

INTEGRITY LOST ME MY JOB!

I was sort of ‘in-between’ careers. I’m in my forties and chose to change career path. In doing this it meant I had to
complete a two and a half year college course. By chance I managed to find a job that finished early enough in the day to
allow me to attend afternoon college.

From day one at this job I realized there may be a few issues that may develop. The lack of rules and regulations made this
particular company a bit sloppy in their approach. What had happened is that they had taken on a contract that suddenly
meant them employing over a 1,000 people across the country. This was to include little me.

The college course was ticking over fine and dandy, it was the job that had supplied a decent income that suddenly came
into question. The money was a great injection to our household and suited my timetable just fine, so what was niggling me
was the tasks I was told to do that was outside my beliefs.

I took the company to task as they was questioning my ethics and suggesting I disregard my integrity for the sake of the
money and getting the job done. I didn’t want to blame the company as I could see they had grown very fast very quickly
and couldn’t cope with the expansion. But here was an opportunity to make a firm foundation, but they were choosing the
opposite. Make a quick buck and hope that somewhere down the line they’ll start getting it right.

In taking the company to task and trying to get them to operate more ethically I lost my job. I was sad and found the loss of
income was a big loss.

My wife wasn’t annoyed with the loss of a job and the income she simply said, “I’d prefer you to keep your honour and
integrity and be the man I know and love than to be a liar and a cheater.”

Losing that job actually brought all the family closer. Within a few months I was gamely employed again. I completed the
course and changed career successfully; the financial rewards are much greater than I originally anticipated.

(Jonathan David Freeman)

Judgment
“Opinion or no opinion that is the question?” said a wise man. Before we look at the restrictions that a judgment has on our
approach to life and happiness, we’ll dip straight into a story.

JUDGMENT

There was an old man in a village, very poor, but even kings were jealous of him because he had a beautiful white
horse. Kings offered fabulous prizes for the horse, but the man would say, "This horse is not a horse to me, he is a
person. And how can you sell a person, a friend?" The man was poor, but he never sold the horse.

One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. The whole village gathered and said, "You foolish old man! We
knew that someday the horse would be stolen. It would have been better to sell it. What a misfortune!"

The old man said, "Don't go so far as to say that. Simply say that the horse is not in the stable. This is the fact; everything
else is judgment. Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing I don't know, because this is just a fragment. Who knows what is
going to follow it?"

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People laughed at the old man. They had always known he was a little crazy. But after fifteen days, suddenly one night the
horse returned. He had not been stolen; he had escaped into the wild. And not only that, he had brought a dozen wild
horses with him.

Again the people gathered and they said, "Old man, you were right. This was not a misfortune; it has indeed proved to be a
blessing."

The old man said, "Again you are going too far. Just say that the horse is back ... who knows whether it is a blessing or not?
It is only a fragment. You read a single word in a sentence - how can you judge the whole book?"

This time the people could not say much, but inside they knew that he was wrong. Twelve beautiful horses had come.

The old man had an only son who started to train the horses. Just a week later he fell from a horse and his legs were
broken. The people gathered again and again they judged. They said, "Again you proved right! It was a misfortune. Your
only son has lost the use of his legs, and in your old age he was your only support. Now you are poorer than ever."

The old man said, "You are obsessed with judgment. Don't go that far. Say only that my son had broken his legs. Life
comes in fragments and more is never given to you."

It happened that after a few weeks the country went to war, and all the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the
military. Only the old man's son was left because he was crippled. The whole town was crying and weeping, because it was
a losing fight and they knew that most of the young people would never come back. They came to the old man and they
said, "You were right, old man - this has proved a blessing. Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you. Our sons are
gone forever."

The old man said again, "You go on and on judging. Nobody knows! Only say that your sons have been forced to enter the
army and my son has not been forced. But only God, the total, knows whether it is a blessing or a misfortune."

Judge not, otherwise you will never become one with the total. With fragments you will be obsessed, with small things you
will jump to conclusions. Once you judge you have stopped growing. Judgment means a stale state of mind. And mind
always wants judgment, because to be in a process is always hazardous and uncomfortable.

In fact the journey never ends. One path ends, another begins: one door closes, another opens. You reach a peak; a higher
peak is always there. God is an endless journey. Only those who are so courageous that they don't bother about the goal
but are content with the journey, content to just live in the moment and grow into it.

(Eastern Philosophy)

As many religions remind us, the trauma we experience through life is sent to make us strong. A bitter pill to swallow!

Economists suggest that we experience cycles of good and bad. It would appear reality hurts when we are trying constantly
to keep ourselves within the cycle of happiness.

Those who are supremely spiritual, reside in areas that are not affected directly with the economic world. Trauma will
happen in their world, but the subject will be confined to the walls of their domain. They may wrestle with a dilemma of the
mind, equal in trauma to those who reside in a world full of political blunders and revenge.

But how do we squeeze any happiness out of a life, when all this happens around us?

If we choose to stay within our normal living environment, we will witness everything full in the face. The answer therefore is
to change our perspective. We need to see positive arise out of everything we encounter. This shift of perspective takes
practice and patience.

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As a teenager I was keen to play golf. I broke my left arm and was concerned it would prevent the power of my future golf
shot. This had become a concern to the point of verging on depression. I had weakened my body, and still only in my early
teens.

It was not long into this thought process that I was reminded by an authority, of whom I can’t remember, but what was said
that when a bone mends, it mends stronger and is unlikely to break again in the same place. That was all I needed to snap
me out of my confused state of mind.

Your perception must see the positive that is needed. If for one moment you consider that there aren’t many chances to put
this into practice, all you need to do is open your eyes and begin to witness the world with a greater clarity.

You may think it wise to start by withholding your first few positive comments to the confines of your mind, because of the
fear of them not being suitable. But be assured that without further restraint you will speak without intention, as the
comment you make is positive.

With sufficient practice, you will see a gradual improvement in your own perspective, on how, with just a little effort, that
being positive injects a new life and happiness into each moment.

Without action your faith in happiness will remain an illusion. You know it can be done but it remains just a pipe dream.
Positive action can change the world, if not the world, just your world. But if happiness emanates from your soul, everyone
you encounter will see the benefits.

This story although small has many interpretations. If you replace the word wisdom with happiness, the message remains
the same.

HOW DO YOU GET WISE?

An old country doctor was celebrated for his wisdom. "Dr. Sage," a young man asked, "how did you get so wise?"

"Weren't hard," said the doc. "I've got good judgment. Now, good judgment comes from experience," he continued. "And
experience - well, that comes from having bad judgment."

(Old Sufi Story).

QUOTE: “Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” (Japanese Proverb).

Be careful in your judgment of happiness, because what you think makes you happy may make you sad trying to get it!

Occasionally when you work within your own philosophy do you find your own rules to be off track, off what is the norm, out
of order and decidedly weird and wacky. What you thought had served you well had suddenly been brought into question
and failed miserably.

Rather than represent a sign of failure, it should be an indication of your improvement.

As you study the aspects of gaining greater happiness, you’ll realize that your beliefs come into question.

Neither, ‘accept nor reject’ anything you read or encounter, as it could be a tool to take you further. To accept it maybe
hasty, to reject it suggests you know better.

Knowing better is a CLAIM. A claim you are right. Not everybody shares the same truths, what may be good and proper for
one may not work for another.

So when a ‘light-bulb’ moment occurs and suddenly a new perspective is born, neither accept or reject it, just dwell on its
values and if it is true for you it will add itself naturally to your bank of good principles.

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This next story is about misunderstanding what makes you happy. In your fight to achieve this goal, especially if
misunderstood, will be pain and anguish. It doesn’t sound right to suffer pain to become happy; we all seem to assume that
we should experience happiness in our endeavour to be happy.

WINNING IS EVERYTHING

I remember hearing this quote and remembered it was said in jest - "Winning is not the only thing, it's everything."

Nobody loves motivational quotes more than I do. But be very careful because every once in a while you'll find a quote that
might sound good but isn't true. And if you believe that quote, it might actually do some harm.

Yet it wasn’t long before I noticed that people believed that ‘winning was everything’ and thought it was true. Not only did
they believe it, they would suffer pain in trying to achieve it. Allow me to explain with this illustration.

It was a wet, windy and a cold rainy night and some under 11’s were training for their school football team. As the training
session finished they split into two teams and played a game of football.

The weather was atrocious and it affected the morale of each youngster. Wet through to their underwear, runny noses and
their hands pulled up their sleeves, they wearily walked back to the dressing room.

The next match they lost four goals to nil.

That was the last time half of those players turned out for the school.

For the youngsters were told that to achieve success they needed to train no matter what the weather. In effect they had to
withstand severe pain to be on the winning side. The coach had the philosophy, "Winning is not the only thing, it's
everything."

Although withstanding severe pain can result in success, it isn’t always true. An adult may understand the theory, but a
child will give in without comprehending the subtleties.

Any person, children and adults alike will grow and expand their capabilities when they are happy. Force them to train in the
wet, wind and cold and their morale weakens. The school coach should have took them inside the school and trained in the
gym, kept them warm and practiced their physical fitness and ball control skills.

Rarely will any individual improve either their education or skills when they are sad.

Winning will be the consequence of being happy in your task; and not those that show discontent for the coach’s training
practices.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have; which once you have got it
you may be smart enough to see, that it is what you would have wanted had you known.” (Garrison Keillor)

Let’s look at another illustration in relation to judgment…

First impressions can be deceiving; the wrong interpretation can be made in error; that is why it is always recommended to
retain an ‘open-mind’.

Don’t be too hasty to judge!

QUOTE: “Nor is the people's judgment always true: The most may err as grossly as the few.” (John Dryden).

Reputation is another form of judgment that is nothing but an illusion.

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Try not to build your reputation, build your character.

The error of judgment that is made hastily, or without substantial evidence, can be very costly. That cost may vary from
financial to emotional, from health to wealth.

This next story happens daily. Try and keep an open mind and don’t make early judgments!

THE SONGWRITER

Where will a songwriter get inspiration from and where can they improve their skills?

Without a lot of thought we could suggest to write with passion and practice daily to develop their musical talent.

That would sound pretty good advice would it not?

I took that advice as a songwriter and had very little success. But what I did do was to collaborate with a young pretender. I
was also studying philosophy and wisdom and trying to include this new knowledge within my lyrics.

I was with this young pretender in his back bedroom, penning lyrics and writing musical melodies. His skill as a songwriter
was a pleasure to witness but what was always an essential ingredient to these back bedroom sessions, were late nights
and plenty of caffeine or beer. Conversation was plentiful, diverse and inspirational. I said something to this young
pretender that came to be a profound statement and a major contribution to his next few years.

Five years later his songwriting success was worldwide, not as a performer but a writer, he had co-wrote an album selling
38 million, he was sought by many top singers and his reputation had spread to every corner of the music business.

Two instances spring to mind. First I can remember that I collaborated with another songwriter who lived 100 miles away
and when I mentioned I had written with this multi million selling songwriter, he fell to the floor and pretended to kiss the
ground that I walked on; such was this songwriter’s reputation. The second occasion I was in a recording studio and whilst
various tracks were being recorded I mention to this guitarist that I’d written with this famous songwriter. He knelt on the
floor and swayed his arms up and down before me. Phew! What an impression this young pretender had made.

I read the local newspaper and noticed that this famous songwriter had been invited to speak at a seminar to open a new
musical aspect of the city both he and I were born in. I must attend to listen to his story, which I thought must include little
me at some stage.

Two hours he spoke without any interval. He noticed me sat in the front row and pointed to me on several occasions. His
last sentence of the seminar was the profound statement I had said some five years earlier, “Inspiration comes from being
happy; your passion for emotive lyrics is derived from inspiration; and the best melodies in the world are achieved by
collaborating with those who you deem to be the best in their profession.”

(Andy Bolton, the songwriter)

QUOTE: “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while
your reputation is merely what others think you are.” (John Wooden)

Assumptions
Beauty of course is in the eye of the beholder, which of course would also suggest that the same beauty cannot be seen by
everyone.

When we consider beauty in the opposite sex, there are also elements of love.

Seldom do we all agree on beauty. So as a natural consequence we will not all agree on the ingredients of love.
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Whatever works for you is always relevant in these circumstances.

However it is a fact that we do make incorrect assumptions about where we can find beauty in another. I intend to tread
carefully in this description as we also often use the wrong words to express our exact feelings.

Allow me to explain further. If you ask an individual where they would find beauty they may assume that in one person it is
in their attractive facial features and in another it is in their poise and posture. Whilst they maybe feature’s that aid to
attraction they rarely can be described as beauty.

We ‘assume’ these so called attractions form the basis of our love ‘cum’ attraction for another. Alternatively the difficulty
arises in either not being able to find the right words to express our feeling or not being able to identify the feeling itself.

Nonetheless it is the assumption that can cause the major problems. An assumption can catapult us away from happiness
into a stressful, angry, sad or negative situation in moments.

Being assumptive is a need to bring forward troubles that we expect and try to deal with them now. Don’t assume without
facts! Don’t think KNOW! Don’t try and second guess the future by obsessive thinking.

We must not make ‘assumptions’. They are not based on fact! If we are to use our skill of ‘reason’ then this is best done
with fact and not assumption.

In the story that follows we see this point illustrated. Although it is with reference to beauty, assumptions are made on every
subject imaginable. It can be a ‘lifetime’ you are imprisoned if you make a serious decision on an assumption rather than
discover the truth and use the real facts.

WHY DO WOMEN CRY?

Why do women cry, because it is the entrance door to their beautiful nature…

Women are given their very own tear to shed. This is a women’s exclusively to use whenever it is needed. The beauty of a
woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman
must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

Men don’t understand women; women don’t understand men, but you can be assured that the sensitivity of women is
shown in their caring nature and if that means shedding a tear every so often then so be it.

When men see a women cry they assume she is distressed, they assume she is hurt, they assume she cannot express the
pain, they assume she is confused and they assume she is at her weakest point.

So wrong they are! She is not distressed but experiencing a moment of healing. She is not hurt but awaiting for happiness
to present her with her next step. She is not in pain but gathering her strength to take her next leap of faith. She is not at her
weakest point but at her most powerful, ready to allow her intellect to guide her towards her next goal.

When a women cries she is expressing a beauty; but not everybody can see it.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.” (Confucius)

Jealousy
I personally have a problem with jealousy and consistently fight its effect, as I guess does everyone. What I have always
endeavoured to do with a subject is to turn it on its head. Instead of jealousy being a problem, I’ve tried to view it from a
point of beauty rather than a plot in a nightmare.
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What is jealousy telling you? It is saying in a relationship for example that you are selfishly in love with your partner. Love is
a beautiful thing! Being too selfish is where the trap is. In every aspect of your life, being too selfish can destroy what is
good. As jealousy can often damage a relationship, isn’t it then beautiful when you notice the moment a jealous thought
enters your head, this is an opportunity to put things right and avoid developing the selfishness?

Let me give an example of selfishness…

THE WIND CAME

It was a day the wind had been forecast; but this particular man had ignored all the weather warnings and decided to stay
within his own home.

The wind grew strong and blew his fence down; the man ran around trying to gather the fence pieces so that after the wind
he could re-assemble his fence. His determination didn’t win the day as the wind was far too strong and was blowing the
fence in every direction and all over his neighbourhood.

The wind grew even stronger and blew off the roof to his house; he was distraught but determined not to leave his house
until the wind had gone. The man was in danger of debris in the wind, anything could be caught in the wind and hit him, if
this was to happen his life could be threatened.

A fireman came past, endangering his own life, who pleaded with the man to leave his house and find safety. He replied,
“Do not worry I know God will come and save me.”

The wind was still growing stronger when the local Mayor came past with a car and a loud speaker; he insisted that the man
leave his house as safety of every inhabitant was more important than a house. The man shouted back, “Its okay,” he
replied, “God is coming to save me.”

The wind was getting to what would be its peak when a tank drove up his drive, an army official beckoned the man to
safety. The man responded again, “Its okay, God is coming to save me.”

Eventually during the worst of the wind the man was killed by debris in one of the major gusts.

The man got to the gates of heaven and in his disappointment demanded to speak to God. As God approached the gate
the man said, “Why, when I prayed for your assistance did you not come and save me?”

God replied, “I sent a Fireman, the Mayor and the Army, what else could I have done?”

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

This story expresses how selfish we can be, even to the point of risking our own life.

I am certain that we have all experienced jealousy. I am also certain that it has got us into trouble on more than one
occasion; and, more frustratingly each time it has got us into trouble it follows a pattern from previous occasions. This is so
exasperating!

As we mature and grow with experience, we become amongst other things a better person. So where is the problem? A
jealous state of mind triggers a period of forgetfulness, resentment and anger, which will focus almost all of our attention on
some calculated plan of attack or defense. In effect our tools of reason, which has taken us a lifetime to develop, are simply
forgotten.

If a jealous moment arrives and you can identify it, then it would appear to make sense to allow that emotion to dissipate,
otherwise you are likely to make several irrational decisions. Some may choose to ‘sleep on it’, others may chose to ‘take a
moment of solace’, ‘have some quiet time’, ‘become occupied’, or ‘keep busy’. Basically you need to shift your attention
away from the subject of jealousy.
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As you arrive back to the subject, your resentment is lessoned, and you ability to reason has improved. Not enough I may
suggest to resolve your anger, but perhaps enough to prevent you making the situation worse.

If you make this moment of becoming jealous a beautiful opportunity to temper your hatred, and turn this into a habitual
response to every jealous twang, you are taking big steps to improving your life.

It is all too evident that jealousy brings sadness so we must practice how to restrict its grip upon our soul.

As already mentioned above, when you are in a state of being JEALOUS, you functional powers of reason are decreased,
diminished and smothered. Allow this next illustration explore a jealous moment outside the boundary of relationships.

A JEALOUS MOMENT THAT NEARLY COST MY JOB

I can recall working for a British firm that was fast becoming the very best in its profession here in England. After a short
period of time I became jealous of the success the directors were having, partly as I saw it being due to some degree to my
own ability as their employee.

They had big cars, big houses and plenty of holidays. I became so jealous; my envy had turned to hatred. My efficiency
suffered at my workplace, but more importantly I thought I could set up in competition. All I needed to do was import the raw
material on my own.

I sat down one evening and sourced out several manufacturers around the world. I wrote asking for their best quote, with a
view to set up supplying the same product.

I was young and naive, so my approach must have appeared that way too. Each manufacturer thought, and did so with just
reason, that I was small fry. So they got a copy of my letter and sent it to their biggest outlet in England, for them to supply
direct. You can probably guess the rest. My current employers were the British leaders in their field. I was called into the
directors office and given an official warning

I can see I didn’t think the plan through properly. But of course I was only working on approximately 20% of my capacity as
jealousy has squandered the other 80%.

(Andy Bolton)

This story is another story of proof, if you ever needed it, that jealousy is so negative and destructive. As individuals we do
not operate at our best when under the influence of jealousy.

Whilst I have made some simple suggestions on how to combat jealousy the main one is to acknowledge that it happens. In
doing this the very anger is tempered and your energy to operate with REASON has improved.

QUOTE: “A grievance is when your ego hijacks your mind, takes you to hell, demands a ransom and leaves you there
anyway. There you are, kidnapped by your own ego, sitting in hell hoping the ‘bitch’ or ‘bastard’ who is the cause of your
grievance ends up in hell too.” (Robert Holden)

You become your own worst enemy! A grievance or revenge is ultimately a way of proving that you were right. Do you want
to be HAPPY or RIGHT? Do you value freedom? Proving a RIGHT can dominate your life and prevent freedom and
happiness from existing.

QUOTE: “Perfectionists seek the perfect partner instead of being the perfect partner.” (Robert Holden)

Guilt
Guilt engulfs our life! This gives us a negative vibe and thus our concentration is destroyed.

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The feeling of a ‘wrong doing’ causes a distress that makes our decisions poor. We must wherever possible rid ourselves of
guilt; if only to purify our ability to make good decisions.

This next story illustrates how guilt can occupy our life and control our process of thought. The young monk is perplexed for
three days.

WORSE THAN A CLOWN

There was a young monk in China who was a very serious practitioner of the Dharma.

Once, this monk came across something he did not understand, so he went to ask the master. When the master heard the
question, he started laughing loudly. The master then stood up and walked away, still laughing.

The young monk was very disturbed by the master's reaction. For the next 3 days, he could not eat, sleep nor think
properly. At the end of 3 days, he went back to the master and told the master how disturbed he had felt.

When the master heard this, he said, "Monk, do you know what your problem is? Your problem is that YOU ARE WORSE
THAN A CLOWN!"

The monk was shocked to hear that, "Venerable Sir, how can you say such a thing?! How can I be worse than a clown?"

The master explained, "A clown enjoys seeing people laugh at him. You? You feel disturbed because another person
laughed at you. Tell me, are you not worse than a clown?"

When the monk heard this, he began to laugh. He was enlightened.

(Buddhist Story)

Whatever guilt we carry, whenever that guilt is brought to memory, we lose the power to make good decisions. Happiness
is about making good decisions.

Allow me to extend our investigation further. Here we are going to look at both BLAME and GUILT as they are closely
connected.

“Who's to blame?"

QUOTE: “When you point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you!” (Old adage)

BLAME is a powerful word and few would recognize it as this. Yet a similar word RESPONSIBILITY has in fact a greater
depth of meaning but doesn’t create the same impact.

“Who is to blame for this?”

As opposed to:-

“Who’s responsible for this?”

Of course BLAME is guilt ridden. As soon as we assign blame we look for guilt, we begin judgment and scrutinize with
extreme vigour.

Now bring this theory into the realm of wisdom and what do we find? We find that as humans as soon as we encounter
difficulty and can’t find an easy way out, we look to attribute blame. We would say, “It’s not our fault so it must be somebody
else!”

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The determination of blame (guilt) always seems to carry with it some implied or explicit suggestion of punishment. Small
wonder then that the responsible party is unwilling to step forward.

QUOTE: "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you
blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external
reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by
blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." (Wayne Dyer)

That quote is describing how easy it is to blame another for an instance that could have been avoided by YOU. If you are
not to blame then your ego is suitably impressed and restored to feeling no guilt.

If you came first in a ‘1,000 Metre Track Race’ at your school athletics meeting, what may happen? A coach would
encourage you to practice more and try competing at a better level. Should you achieve good results you’d be encouraged
even further to compete at a better level. Your coach would fix a schedule of running to tone your skill at this 1,000 metre
race. If your coach was a competent track professional you could expect high expectations for the future.

So my question is, “Do we need a coach to advise us to accept responsibility for our actions or do we find a different coach
to teach us how to find other people to blame every time we make a mistake?”

Children are very good at assigning blame. If some milk is spilt at the breakfast table, they’d blame their sibling who had a
need to suddenly rush from the table and then ultimately caused them for the spill.

Why would I be pushing BLAME as an important topic? Because the power of the word BLAME is detrimental to our well
being; yet the word meaning the same thing - RESPONSIBILITY, is the more appropriate replacement.

It would make sense, and few would argue that a seriously big issue should not be assigned to another in blame. This is
almost the same as defining a scapegoat and doing a runner yourself out of harms way.

What we do habitually can be done so often we don’t even see it happening. So if we pass the blame on bigger issues then
you can be certain that smaller instances occur more regularly. To such an extent you don’t even know you’re doing them.

Ultimately the reason we pass the blame is because we don’t want to accept the punishment. So if we habitually pass on
the blame, we think we’ve had a good day when we haven’t. This has a spiraling effect which will increase this failing.

If we continue to pass the blame onto other people, we’ll be living a lie. Yet if we considered the complete opposite and took
the responsibility for our errors, we’d soon be making sure that mistakes were less frequent.

Now we are talking wisdom! We should aim to operate on a higher level and make LESS mistakes.

Coaching a young school child to win a 1,000 metre race is not too dissimilar to training your power of thought. It just takes
practice! If you pass the blame the habit is negative and will only bring UNHAPPINESS. Accepting responsibility and you’re
on the right track.

You ARE the controller of your own destiny. Cheat it by passing the blame and you’ll see nothing but sorrow.

QUOTE: “"It is far easier to blame someone than to take the time to understand the problem." (Dave Gurteen)

Argument of Authority
The very word ‘argument’ has a strength and limitation.

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Firstly let’s acknowledge the strength. It is a negative strength as it controls rather than submits its strength for use.
Consider the difference between having a discussion and having an argument? The very word ‘argument’ implies a heated
exchange.

We slip into an emotion that only encourages negative thoughts. We have one view and invariably will not change that view
for nobody! We begin to have tunnel vision and thus lead us onto ‘limitation’.

The moment we argue we limit our possibilities.

Another big aspect of our life is ‘authority’. Sometimes we guide our life on the strength of authority; and other times we
choose to rebel.

When we are in the emotion of rebelling we cannot truly see all possibilities. We limit our scope of vision. We have our view
and that is how we intend to keep it.

Please forgive me if you think I’m implying that no arguments of authority are good; but in the majority of cases it is true. We
are best to ‘question’ authority. This description is much more humbling and as a consequence allows scope for greater
understanding.

Allow me to illustrate how ‘limiting’ an argument could be. Imagine teaching your children, there is no room for argument
otherwise they will not see all the possibilities.

Children need to understand the intensity of words; allow them to understand the value of questions and the limitation of
arguments.

The first step to an improved life is KNOWING; the second step is ACTION.

Yet there are times we don’t know we know and subsequently the actions we take are from the ‘not knowing we know’
conundrum.

If I sense my children are telling a white lie I tell them to stand in front of the mirror and repeat the statement. If they are
lying they giggle and try to convince the world of their truth. What is actually happening is that they can’t tell themselves a
lie.

We must teach our children to KNOW; or at very least the ability to express a knowing or a not knowing.

Few realize the power of such expression. Its power is not in strength but in ‘letting go’. If you let go you allow possibilities.
If you are adamant of a fact and state its truth you become limited by that statement.

Allowing is a big part of wisdom. If you allow room for possibilities they will arise.

THE CHINESE FARMER

There is a Chinese story of an old farmer who had an old horse for tilling his fields. One day the horse escaped into the hills
and, when all the farmer's neighbours sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, 'Bad luck? Good
luck? Who knows?'

A week later the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills and this time the neighbours congratulated the
farmer on his good luck. His reply was, 'Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?'

Then, when the farmer's son was attempted to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone
thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?'

Some weeks later the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they
saw the farmer's son with his broken leg they let him off. Now was that good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?
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(Chinese Parable)

TEMPER

A Zen student came to Bankei and complained: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?"

"You have something very strange," replied Bankei. "Let me see what you have."

"Just now I cannot show it to you," replied the other.

"When can you show it to me?" asked Bankei.

"It arises unexpectedly," replied the student.

"Then," concluded Bankei, "it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you
were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you. Think that over."

(Zen Story)

QUOTE: “The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that
counts.” (Booker T. Washington)

Hate
Allow me to first give you a perfect illustration of hate.

THE STORY ABOUT REVENGE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who insisted that to live well, one had to be positive and thankful for all of life.

One day, a traveller came to him and said, 'How can I be positive? Nothing goes right in my life! I've been badly hurt by
people I trusted, and now I want revenge!'

The wise man shook his head. 'What would you do to those who have hurt you?' he asked. 'I'd tear them limb from limb ...
I'd ruin their business ... I'd ...' and he broke off.
'Can you help me to get revenge?' he begged. 'Yes,' said the wise man. 'I'll certainly help you, but first you must do two
things for me.'

"I will,' said the traveller.

'First,' said the wise man, 'I want you to tear a branch off that tree over there.'

The traveller readily went to the tree and twisted off a large branch. 'There you are! What's the second thing?'

The wise man smiled. 'Now put it back,' he said.

The traveller stood staring. 'I can't do that,' he said.

'No,' said the wise man. 'So remember this: it's very easy to wound and to destroy, but it is more difficult to repair the
damage that has been done. Note that the tree won't hurt you back. It will go on growing and bearing fruit. It's much better
to be creative than destructive -- even to people that have hurt you.'

(A Buddhist Story)
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If a situation arises that makes us angry we simply need to resist. In doing this we temper the irritation and remain relatively
calm. It is the calmness that keeps our sensible head. We function with a greater superiority in this calmness.

As in this next illustration we need to cultivate the good. The bad will certainly not disappear completely, but the beauty of
the good manifests into greater things.

THE BEAUTY WITHIN THE THORNS

Many will remember the story from the Bible of the sower and his seeds; whereupon the seeds were scattered across
varying types of ground.

If we imagine that a rose seed was scattered amongst the thorny bushes, what may happen. Both the thorns and the rose
would fight for the water from the earth and the daylight given by the sun. Both would grow, the thorny bushes may only
provide a green covering and prevent themselves from being eaten by their thorns, as would the rose grow; but the nature
of the rose would produce several beautiful flowers. Both thorns and rose compete but in the end both are seen; yet in
some strange way the thorns may be forgotten at first sight because of the beauty of the rose.

Imagine this tale to be the analogy of our human sole. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us
at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We may despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and
eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

The rose within our soul will never die, but if we prune the thorny bushes the rose will stand tall and be evident for all to see.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

This next short story illustrates how we can take a negative and make it positive.

WEAKNESS or STRENGTH?

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength.

Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old Japanese boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost
his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after
three months of training the master had taught him only one move. "Sensei," the boy finally asked, "Shouldn't I be learning
more moves?"

"This is the only move I know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training. Several months later, the sensei took the boy to
his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult,
but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.

Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals. This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more
experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a
time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened. "No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his
move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion. On the way home, the boy and
sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his
mind. "Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"
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"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of
judo. And second, the only known defence for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm." The boy's biggest
weakness had become his biggest strength.

(Japanese Folktale)

Desire
At some stage in our development, it could be at the age of six, ten, twenty, thirty, forty or any age, we realize that a major
purpose in life is the pursuit of happiness. Although we KNOW this to be true we’re not sure of which path to take, 80% of
us take the path lead by desire for material possessions.

Letting go of the past is easy to say but not so easy to do. It is not until you see how effective it can be and to see how it
benefits you first hand, do you begin to realize at all how big this small problem is!

Nobody can expect after a life-time of experience, that you will drop old ideals and introduce fresh ones. What we can
expect however is that you keep an open mind.

If you try something new and it works, then you need to introduce that concept to your own set of principles and beliefs.

Within my little world this week, I’ve had a chaotic, frustrating and ‘emotionally trodden on’ period.

I can always tell when my attention is caught up with another matter. I may try texting on my mobile phone and suffer the
frustration of tapping in the wrong information time after time, equaled only by my desperation to text the message quickly.

These moments become a trigger that remind me to stop; calm down, stay still for a moment, take a deep breath and then
allow myself to exhale very slowly.

This begins the process of ‘letting go’ of all the troublesome matters.

Being calm and collected, and generally of a happy nature, expands your skill, ability and judgment to deal with problems.
Being ‘on-edge’ and uptight will be of no service to anyone.

This next story explains how the desire and want for an item can make you refuse to let go. This is the parallel to us adults
not letting go of our past, allowing it to effect our present moment and often damage its very beauty.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT IS IMPORTANT

There is an old African story about how monkeys were trapped and caught for export.

Strangely the capture was painless and a spectacle to witness. The wise man would use this story to illustrate how our own
levels of desire are mirrored in this monkey.

A large balloon shaped vase was buried into the ground with its narrow opening facing the surface. Within the vase was a
branch, full with juicy leaves, collected from the monkey’s favourite bush. It was cleverly maneuvered into the vase and
trapped so that only the person putting it in the vase would know how to remove it. The captor would go and hide for cover.

Upon smelling the juicy leaves the monkey would come out of the trees to investigate the source of such treasure. The
monkey would put his hand into the vase and pull out a juicy leaf; once tasted the monkey wanted the whole branch. It
would fight with the branch trying to get it out of the vase.

Strangely the monkey’s desire was so intense that he would be captured by a human rather than let go of the branch.

When we as humans experience a strong desire, do we not also become single minded?
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(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “The true measure of man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” (Ann Launders)

THE DESIRE FOR GOLD

“Once four men set out on a business trip carrying fire-arms for protection. They met a Mahatma (wise farmer) on the way.
He warned them not to go that way as there was danger. They did not listen to him and said that they were well-equipped to
face any danger.

As they went further, they found a brick of gold lying on the ground. Rejoicing at their find, they wrapped it up in a piece of
cloth with the idea of dividing it amongst themselves.

As night fell, two of them went to a neighbouring village to get some food and two stayed behind. When they had gone,
those staying behind felt tempted to keep the brick for themselves and conspired to shoot the other two when they returned.

Those who had gone to the village had a hearty meal. While returning with food for the other two, they also succumbed to
temptation of keeping the brick for themselves and conspired to do away with their companions. So they mixed poison with
the food they were taking for them.

When they returned with the food, the other two shot them dead. But they were hungry. So they at once devoured the food
brought for them. They fell asleep never to wake again.”

(Shankaracharya of Jyotir Math)

Self Punishment
We all too often punish ourselves for various behavioural patterns. This is obviously a negative torment that we ought to
stop!

We have a friendly neighbour that often calls round to collect a cupful of sugar. She claims that she’s just not had enough
time to go to the supermarket. It is clearly expressed in her face that she’s not too happy to be making such a request, but
her claim that she lacks time seems to justify her actions.

Self punishment and overreaction are like a time bomb. You’ve previously restrained from expression and suddenly some
stimulus has triggered this overreaction. Proof if you ever needed it that suppressing an emotion has a negative effect. We
must understand the importance of the process of better expression, which I may add this book actively promotes. Rather
than teach a system that would not be right for everyone we need to understand more about how our emotional behaviour
and subsequently the tools of expression can become a major gift in life.

Self punishment is regularly associated with the lack of time. Allow this next excerpt introduce the availability of time.

Why do clocks sometimes seem to stop?

THE STOPPED CLOCK

Have you ever glanced at a clock and thought that the second hand had stopped moving – only to find that after a moment
it started to tick again?

If you have then you have experienced the mystery of the ‘stopped clock,’ a common perception that inspired a team of
British scientists to investigate the reasons behind it.

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As I continue with this story, draw a parallel with intuition. Intuition results in a bundle of knowledge being presented to you
within a flash. This moment maybe only one second, but how long do we perceive one second to be?

The London Institute of Neurology and various relevant colleagues set out to discover what happens during these hiccups
of time.

The researches concluded that when you glance at something like a ticking clock or flashing cursor on our computer
screen, our brains expand the length of the new perception to make up for the time our eyes took to move.

This effect happens all of the time, but we ONLY notice it when we look at something that may change at regular intervals.

(Andy Bolton)

The reason for such an excerpt is to remind us that time is plentiful. Our time can be extensively exhausted by ‘dreaming’ or
by our need to rest; rarely will our day be full to the brim where a few minutes cannot be spared to fulfill a task.

Yet, in consideration of such new knowledge, we’ll continue to punish ourselves for not doing what we could. A route I may
remind you that will steer you away from happiness.

Our skill of perception should be of the highest quality and shouldn’t be led by others unless their own skill speaks for itself.
This story illustrates how our perception of situations can change; this maybe from the outside, such as friends and
colleagues; or for that matter anyone who influences our day. Accept only those influences that improve; and reject those
that encourage the virus of variability.

TWO FROGS

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep
the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump
up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of
the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just
die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog
explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

(Buddhist Story)

The Power of Words

SIT back down
Sit BACK down
Sit back DOWN

If you emphasize the capitals in the above three lines, it draws your attention to one of the words.

An actor for example may just get the line without emphasis being placed on any word. The actor would then determine
which word needed the emphasis. This technique would then be clear to see, and would distinguish the difference between
a good and bad actor.

Words are very powerful, and so are the expressions behind them.

QUOTE: “Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.” (Jim Rohn)

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QUOTE: “It’s so easy to make a mistake in language if you aren’t careful. What if you meant to say, “What’s troubling you?”
and what you actually said, “What’s wrong with you?” (Jim Rohn).

Communication is a subject many don’t choose to study. They don’t see any value.

STATEMENT: If I told you that to 'simply talk' amongst friends, colleagues and family, it is a form of 'communication' that’ll
just get you by. Would you agree?

If I told you to communicate skillfully, then you could work miracles. Would you agree, or would you need to chew on the
idea for a while?

The person without an immediate answer, would quite possible oppose the view. If pressed further on the subject they
would oppose the view with hatred.

So what then would be the third reaction from this opposing person? Read this quote and consider!

QUOTE: "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as
being self-evident.” (Arthur Schopenhauer, German Philosopher).

SECTION 2
Learning From Your Teacher
Who is your teacher?

Your teacher is one who teaches. If you encounter trouble or a problem during any one day and you learn a valuable lesson
then you have been taught. Don’t expect to learn only from a person who you have pre-determined to be academic.

If you open your mind to such possibility the capacity to accept new information increases. Allow me to illustrate this with a
look at what would normally arouse suspicion.

What can we learn from failure?

QUOTE: “Take adversity and make it an asset.” (Donald Trump)

Too often we look at failure as the worst thing to happen in the world. But what we should also do is see the value.

During the experience of failure we gain many new concepts, ideas, disciplines and techniques, yet we know there was a
weakness. Please don’t allow the evaluation of failure to rid you of the new qualities.

Failure doesn’t mean total loss but 80% of the way to success.

THE DIAMOND THAT WITHSTOOD THE TOOLS OF THE CRAFTSMAN

There was a museum where the most beautiful diamonds were kept. A large volt kept them from being stolen. The
diamonds were displayed so that the most beautiful was the most prominent.

This museum began to get a reputation throughout the world and people visited from every corner of the planet.

As the museum closed one evening a very strange thing happened…

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One of the smaller diamonds began to speak to the most prominent one, the one that shone the brightest, the largest one,
the one taking pride and place on the only pedestal.

“Why do you get all the attention? After all we were both from the same cave?” said the smaller diamond.

The large diamond replied, “Can you remember when the diamond cutter placed his tool against your surface, you wriggled
free and fell to the floor and broke into pieces?”

“Of course!” the smaller diamond abruptly answered. “I wasn’t going to stand all that pain!”

“You cannot expect to reach any sort of perfection without the hard work of a craftsman. You must suffer a little to remove
the courser edges and expect a little pressure to become more polished,” said the larger diamond.

The larger diamond continued, “My dear friend, there is a price to everything in life. Since you decided to give up half way,
you can't blame anybody else for your misgivings."

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” (Confucius)

Happiness is not just looking for things that will make you smile. It is looking at things that would otherwise make you
cringe, but somehow seeing a positive within it.

At various times in my career I’ve stated, in specific relation to charity work, “You can have my time, but you can’t have my
money,” or at other times, “You can my money, but you can’t have my time.”

When I’ve been on an income that had a strict budget applied and very little was available, if I gave £5 to charity it meant I
was giving the earth but only I knew that. And; if when I had little time I offered a listening ear for ten minutes there was an
expected frustration as I could ill afford the time on this occasion. Yet upon reflection both of these made me happy
knowing that someone was benefiting.

Although I had set a limitation on my time and money when I’d chosen to relax that limit there was a ‘giving’. The instant I
walked away from such encounters I can admit there was a frustration of using up such ‘value’; but a short time later upon
reflection there was happiness.

We ought to be more thankful for being occupied with a career. Unpredictable as some careers may be we still ought to be
grateful.

Imagine if you held such thankfulness during your day’s work; you would ‘shine’ and emanate happiness. Then imagine
which people amongst a valued group would find that opportunities arose? Would it be the headless chickens are those
who were calm and collected? Would it be those who were bitter for being too busy, or those who handled being busy with
an air of authority?

Being thankful produces a calmer state of mind and happiness enjoys to manifest in such surroundings.

BE THANKFUL

Instead of creating a desire for material objects, money and information; and within this desire you become single minded to
the point of ignoring every other person, in effect being completely selfish; we need to be thankful. Let me explain…

Be thankful… that you’ve not got the latest digital television, as that will create a drive within your soul to be the best in your
career and to earn a greater income.

Be thankful… that you’ve made a mistake; as that will improve your knowledge and reactions.

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Be thankful… that you don’t know something; as that gives you an opportunity to learn.

Be thankful… when you notice a limitation; as that presents an opportunity for improvement.

Be thankful… that you’re faced with regular problems; as that improves your skill at solving them.

Be thankful… for your next confusing encounter; as they will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful… after a hard day’s work; as that means you’ve accomplished many things.

Be thankful… for your next setback; as that encourages you to use your mind.

Be thankful… for a wrong turn; as that will allow you to see a new picture.

Be thankful… for a headache; as that is your body expressing an illness.

Be thankful… for a cut finger; as that could have been a far severer injury.

Be thankful… for the rain; as the ducks and the flowers will flourish.

Be thankful… for the heat from the sun; as that provides our food to grow.

Be thankful… for the wind; and that pollinates our plants.

Be thankful… for the car not starting; as that will test our skill of reorganizing.

Be thankful… for all these problems and more; as they make us grow.

Showing gratitude can turn a negative into a positive and turn a trouble into a blessing.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Learning From Children

I’ll start with a short and sweet story to make you smile.

WHAT CHILDREN SAY

I can recall teaching my child about adult feelings. We had visited a swimming pool for our weekly swim when my two girls
noticed a rather large and heavy man. I’m guessing he’d been to his doctor and the advice was to lose some weight;
swimming as we know is a good form of exercise.

My eldest daughter said, “Daddy why is that man so fat?”

I explained that if that man would have heard my daughter’s comment he may have been sad. We are better expressing
‘fat’ as cuddly. For example Daddy may have a fat tummy, but I would be hurt by such comments so you need to say Daddy
has a cuddly tummy.

Both daughters seem to understand that principle, so I was pleased to have done them a good deed in explaining personal
feelings.

As we returned home my youngest daughter said to her mother, “Mommy your bosoms are as cuddly and your bum!”

Children say the most wonderful things.

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(Robert Hartopp)

Children are amazing! They are generally the main reason we smile in a family situation.

That short and sweet story describes how we often need guidance; we need a faith to guide our action. Our senses can be
our faith if we allow them to manifest information they receive. Intuition is a very good example of this manifestation. If we
trusted our intuition more often, rather than going with a second thought, we’d have few regrets.

As with religion, as with any belief, if you submit to it you’ll have a stronger purpose. Wisdom will always rely on TRUTH.
This truth and its illustration will always be found in religion, but not everybody has such a close infinity. Wisdom and
Practical Philosophy encapsulates religion but doesn’t rely on it for its main guidance. As does sculpting be described as an
art form, rather than its main component.

If we sit back and wait for things to happen, we could be waiting a long time before we get what we want. We need to
actively search and be educated by that search. As we delve into the mysteries of wisdom we will only find COMMON
SENSE. In effect we follow the guidelines of what is true.

Happiness is a time when amazing things happen. We SEE more within this emotion than any. It is OPEN and free. If we
are in an angry mood we have tunnel vision, but happiness removes that tunnel and we see what is best to do. You will all
recognize that this is true, but one thing for sure is that you’ll conveniently forget it when you’re next angry. The tunnel
vision will return.

The practice of being happy therefore is a serious suggestion. When you encounter a problem and find a difficulty in
resolving it, leave it alone for a day. During this time period actively try and forget it and get on with other tasks. During the
next 24 hours you’ll experience laughter and happiness at some stage, upon recognition of this emotion, allow the problem
to be reconsidered. You will be amazed at what your subconscious mind presents you. You’ll appear to have a flash of
inspiration and the best direction will be presented upon a platter.

One word of advice however, this action must not be a TRYING action, it must be an ALLOWING one. To TRY can
encourage the EGO to come in and play. To ALLOW is a beautiful form of submission; letting an abundant force develop
and answer.

This next story is about every person who submits to their belief and consequently become abundant with answers and
directions. If you do not experiment with this trust and rise to the challenge, you’ll forever wonder what might have been.

MID LIFE CRISIS

We all get there, some in our forties, some in our fifties and for the odd few their twenties and thirties. My step daughter,
aged eight, said the other day, “What is life all about, we live and then we die?”

What we seem to be doing most of the time is chasing our tails. Although that is a simple answer, the more complex answer
is that we are chasing several goals and sometimes these goals are competing against each other. Allow me to expand on
that.

You may be competing in your career for greater rewards; in turn this means greater effort, dedication and discipline. On
the other hand you are looking forward to every evening and weekend to spend with your family. Two goals but both are
competing for your valuable time.

There is no easy answer to resolve this scenario, other than suggest you continue to introduce happiness into your life. This
is the measuring tool; you’ll do whatever makes you happy. No two people are alike so there is no suggested time period
here; you need to go with a gut feeling of what is right. When you’re happy you flourish in that task. Your family benefit
because you are giving them your full attention, or alternatively your career flourishes because you’re dedicating after hours
work to develop it.

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Inspiration, creativity, skills, ability are all greatly rewarded for being happy. Yet for some strange reason we forget that
simple principle.

When you are chasing your tail, do you or do you not forget a major contributory factor to that task? If it’s your family you
forget the parent’s evening at school, or your son’s football match you promised to attend. If it’s your career you somehow
forget that every Monday the client you’re driving 100 miles to visit always plays golf and your time is wasted.

I speak to retired pensioners who seem to fill their lives with busy events. But the one noticeable difference is that their busy
day comprises of one major event and a few smaller ones, unlike us in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or 50’s, we try and fit in 10 major
events and 20 smaller ones. Okay at the end of the day they are done but not as successfully as we’d hoped.

What happens when you forget an important task? You sort it out somehow. If at 11pm one evening you’ve forgotten a task,
you don’t do it then because you’re tired and exhausted, you’ll leave it for in the morning when you’re refreshed and eager.
Consider that seriously! Being happy is productive, being stressed only leads to mistakes.

What to do with a mid life crisis? Be happy and let everything emanate from that, rather than try and make everything the
way you want it because you think that is what makes you happy. Be happy NOW!

(Andy Bolton)

QUOTE “You have two things you want to do, or buy or whatever. But only one can be right now. Use a coin to decide
which one. NO, I am not suggesting you decide by chance. But when that coin is up in the air you will INSTANTLY know
which side you hope will come up. Do that to decide and it will take away all doubt what's important to you.” (James
Hileman)

QUOTE: “Most people RUST out due to lack of challenge. Few people RUST out due to overuse.” (Unknown Author)

Children have such a remarkable perspective on life, perhaps we ought to take a closer look at their ways.

I'll use the game of 'snakes and ladders' as an analogy. The ladders will escalate you nearer to more regular happiness and
the snakes will catapult you back in the doldrums.

To add some realism and variety to this analogy, it is only to be played in the dark! You cannot see either the ladders or the
snakes! On the bottom rung of each ladder are some infra-red glasses that allow you to see, but only when you have a
'peace of mind' a subtle stillness within your soul. At the top of the snake you have a squelchy mat soaked with oil to aid
your slippery slide down.

When you have the presence of mind to feel for the glasses, your life could be enriched with happiness. Yet on the other
hand like most bouts of sadness, you are given ample warning of your slip and slide before it happens; but will you
recognize the squelch?

What would be your first reaction? Try asking yourself this. Would you put your foot out for the squelch on the mat, or your
hand out to feel for the glasses? Would you approach with fear of the squelch or anticipate the glasses?

If a calmness and stillness offered you a peace of mind that allowed your capacity to make good judgments each and every
time, would you actively participate in its development? Or would you take tentative steps and fear every situation as it
develops?

Having had a ten-minute coffee break, are you recharged or drained?

If you are drained, you are exhausted because you have problems you cannot easily resolve. You need to practice 'resting'.
It is with this practice that a 'peace of mind' can be developed, and superior judgments made.

A stillness, a calmness, a restfulness will allow a greater optimism, confidence, friendliness, conviction, belief, trust,
courage, assertiveness, boldness, hope and improve your positive attitude.
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If you saw love from a squelchy oily mat, would the quality of the love start to slip away? If you saw the same love from a
calm and restful state of mind, isn't it likely that this love would grow stronger each time and with each contact?

Are you ready to slip and slide down the snake when you mention your own health? Do you sweep problems under the
carpet? Or do you actively and positively plan your diet and exercise?

Do you squander money by slipping down every snake you pass? Or do you plan your financial independence?

Do you find your career as an interesting and rewarding challenge? Or do you slip and slide out of five or six jobs a
decade?

Allow yourself time to plan for very specific measurable improvements in love, career, health and finance on a daily, weekly,
monthly and yearly basis.

Whilst these are important fundamentals, try and practice the art of resting for a moment. It maybe only a minute that is
needed, ten minutes with a coffee or a chilled out afternoon; whichever whenever, happiness will be cultivated…

THE WISE MAN AND THE CHILD

It has been observed in the scriptures that the wise man behaves like a child, not that his actions are childish, but because
of his wisdom he is alive to the present; the goodness in a child's action is that whatever the child does it leaves no scar.

The child always starts afresh. It maybe happy now and may cry next but all in the moment. It enjoys it all and does not
hang on to any action.

No sooner is the act over the memory of it is also gone. The happiness or sorrow is gone as if it did not exist. The child is
neither bothered by the past nor does it hanker for the future.

The wise man who behaves like a child is also filled with bliss. When he has to tackle a situation, he does not leave his
bliss; he is not influenced by the deeds of the past or by expectations of the future. He is always bliss and free.

(Eastern Philosophy)

Changing Perspective
To be happy you need to understand how to be happy. Of course that sounds easy unless we can support it with an
explanation.

If you read material on Wisdom it doesn’t necessarily follow that you become wise.

If you see a wise man, you may well have a better sense of how a wise man acts.

If you practice being wise you’ll reach a greater level of wisdom with each practice.

Reading and watching are two valuable parts of education, but the DOING creates the better understanding.

QUOTE: “I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.” (Confucius)

QUOTE: “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher
inspires.” (William H. Ward).

So do you want to be happy? Then you need to practice being happy.

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Quite a simple principle, but far too easily overlooked.

I have a sense today I’m going to be happy. Good things flow from happiness, because your decisions are all based from
sound fundamental principles. Why are they sound? Because in the state of happiness you’re TUNED IN! Your focus is
good, you have no heaviness, the clutter has disappeared; you have a direct route to your inner self where the world’s
finest principles rest.

This next story is about three men who you may or may not admire. You may well flippantly say “You go for it!” But the
underlying truth is that they have already done this and they know it.

FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

Many authors have talked about "following your bliss,” which in the cold light of day is mixed up with “striving for what you
want” or “getting what you desire.”

What makes you happy? If you answer that question with a convoluted and complex description of what you need to get
first, before you can become happy, then you’re on the wrong track. I guess the best way to explain ‘following your bliss’ is
by saying that ‘you make the most of what you’ve already got’.

Allow this little story to illustrate this principle.

Three men, all of differing age groups work on the supermarket checkout tills of a local supermarket. Nothing strange so far!
Each I may add wore the same standard store uniform.

The first I shall describe as a forty year old man who seems to be attempting to recapture his youth. He sits on the till with a
Mohican hairstyle; short of a few feathers he’d be the perfect American Indian.

The second was a young man of about nineteen. He is better described as an avid admirer of all things gothic. His hair is
black, he wears makeup to darken his eyes and whiten his complexion.

The third man was about thirty years old. He had long hair that was tied back; his eyebrows were plucked and a strong
pencil line helped shape the style he needed. He wore a feminine makeup style and his features were that of an attractive
woman.

Many supermarket managers wouldn’t allow such a display during normal working hours, but each man seemed content in
his job, pleasant, amicable and keen to do a good job; credentials that are paramount for frontline workers who deal with
customers.

I would suggest that the manager of the supermarket was considering that to get the best out of these three guys
individually he needed to allow them to follow their bliss. Proof if it was ever needed that the brave manager had decided
that their presentation wasn’t affecting their performance but enhancing it.

Have you ever witnessed anyone at their place of work who sang or whistled whilst they laboured away? Of course you will
have; and no doubt it has happened to you on several occasions. They, and you, will have been content and happy with
their work at that moment in time.

This principle of following your bliss isn’t confined to work alone, but many of the better examples come from this big 60% of
the day.

Too many people put question marks over their happiness at work, they for example will not be happy at work until they get
their next promotion, or move to their brand new offices. In our private lives we won’t be happy until the weekend comes
around, or until that front garden is landscaped; until our children have left school or until our next holiday comes around.

Following our bliss is LIVING IN THE NOW. Your happiness is not measured by material objects but by your PURPOSE or
PHILOSOPHY.
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Pursue a better purpose and improve your philosophy. More happiness in your life brings about greater opportunities.

(Steve Perry)

Let’s take another look at Changing Perspective…

QUOTE: “Be happy with what you’ve got, rather than waste all your life striving for something that you expect to make you
happy.” (Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

That quote is saying be happy now, rather than wait until tomorrow. You may recall saying something like this, “I’ll be happy
when I get my new car tomorrow.”

What is wrong with being happy now? As a general rule of thumb, every piece of written material that encourages you to be
more prosperous in life, in both money and health; starts with motivating you to be happy.

Happiness attracts happiness. Happiness opens doors you never thought existed.

Whatever you have been striving for, whether that is for something in the next week, month, year or decade, be happy first
and watch that goal become more achievable by the second.

Make the most of what you have, smile at the very fact that you are alive and well. Appreciate the small things, offer love
and affection to the big things; you’ll notice that you become a magnet for more happiness.

If you cannot see anything to be happy for, try turning a negative into a positive or if you can turn a sour moment that
becomes a test of endurance into a cherished moment, you'll become an inventor of happiness. In fact... just remember this
next story, it’s a gem.

CRACKED or PERFECT

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the
pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long
walk from the stream to the master's house. The cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily,
with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked
pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made
to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak
out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full
value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I
want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of
the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so
again he expressed his feeling to the water bearer.

He replied by saying, "Did you notice that flowers were only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side?
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That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the
path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick
these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this
beauty to grace his house."

(Tibetan Buddhist Philosophy)

QUOTE: "No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself
or your life that you want to change.” (Barbara De Angelis)

IN ONE MINUTE YOU CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING

The Master was laughing as he walked along the corridor. His disciplines perplexed by his happiness.

“Excuse me Sir, but you always seem to be happy. Yet us as disciples are disciplined to follow your faith but find it at times
hard work and restrictive. Can you guide us along a better path?” said the bravest of the disciples.

The Master replied, “Everything is as we choose, our faith may seem to be a solemn process but we have allowed that
impression to command our thoughts. Choose to enjoy the teachings and your bouts of happiness will be multiplied ten
fold.”

The Master continued, “Choose to frown and your mood will follow suit; and so the will the work become more tedious.
Choose a smile and so the emotions will brighten and the workload appear small.”

It takes as little as one minute to change your perspective.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Some people remain locked into one perspective all their life. To SEE an error you’ve made you need SEE it from a
different perspective. This seeing is the first step to correcting an action.

As does the same principle apply with the subject of fear. If we can’t change perspective we can’t educate to overcome the
fear. All we SEE is what we’ve always seen.

If we remain open minded the abundance of life flows into our consciousness and the chance of a change of perspective is
good.

Consider this threefold solution to challenging fear:

KNOW THINE ENEMY

LOVE THINE ENEMY

The next step in conquering your fears is to actually fall in love with them. Sounds crazy? Not really. Falling in love with fear
simply means recognizing the symptoms and becoming aware of its presence, and devoting your conscious mind to it.

Turn your fear into a little experiment. When you start feeling nervous and anxious, put in a conscious effort by taking a
moment to say to yourself, "Its beginning. I'm becoming afraid." By acknowledging fear and keeping company with it, you
will eventually learn how to master it.

CONQUER THINE ENEMY

Here is another perfect illustration of seeing a different perspective to what appears to be an inevitable ending.

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SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP

A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule
'braying' - or - whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized
with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his
neighbours together and told them what had happened...and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well
and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbours continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back...a
thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back...HE SHOULD
SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP! This he did, blow after blow.

"Shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself. No matter
how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on SHAKING IT
OFF AND STEPPING UP!

You're right! It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, STEPPED TRIUMPHANTLY OVER THE WALL OF
THAT WELL! What seemed like would bury him, actually blessed him...all because of the manner in which he handled his
adversity.

That's Life! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness or self-pity...
THE ADVERSITIES THAT COME ALONG TO BURY US USUALLY HAVE WITHIN THEM THE POTENTIAL TO BENEFIT
AND BLESS US!

(Parable)

Just when you think you’ve sorted it… everything goes wrong! Complacency is a problem waiting to happen.

When you start a new job for example, you may find that the first ten weeks you’re attentive and excited about every task
and consequently very few mistakes are made. Once you think you’ve got the hang of the job you become complacent. Rife
time I may add for errors to happen in multiples.

Complacency is another name for going onto auto-pilot; thinking that you can do a job with only half the attention.

There is an opposite of this situation where you dwell on something far too long and unnecessarily; imagining that events
will unfold when in actual fact you are too premature in thought.

Complacency and being assumptive are two opposites. Complacency takes no effort and being assumptive can leave you
tired and restless.

When a change is due to happen we can never really be sure what events will unfold. The best preparation is to be fully
attentive throughout, guaranteeing our capacity to resolve is at its peak.

This next story illustrates how we can worry unduly about events that could happen; but eventually don’t come to pass.

THE JOB INTERVIEW

The purpose of a job interview is to make a valuable impression to the employer. The very fact that you’ve made the
interview stage suggests that they are happy with your qualifications and experience, so you’ve little other than making a
good impression left to conquer.

Many people have suggested if your ‘face fits’ you’ll get the job; meaning that in the past they’ve been to interviews and
their face hasn’t fit and they didn’t get employed. The moment you walk through the door your face will not fit! It is a case of
fitting all the jig-saw pieces together as you progress through the interview and by the time of completion the jig-saw has
your face upon it.
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Please… Please… What am I saying! Every single person will have their own version of how best to deal with an interview;
and no doubt you’ll have heard most of them.

I can recall one interview… I’d not slept the night before in fear of what I needed to be prepared for. My hair was all over the
place, my eyes were dark from constant rubbing and the lack of sleep, my complexion was white from feeling a little ill. I’d
stopped up the night before to research the company and plan the questions I needed to ask to appear intellectual and
interested in the career afoot.

I planned in my mind how the interview would go and decided that if the interview was short I’d not get the job, so the
questions I must ask must flow fast and furious to elongate the interview.

My eagerness to ask the questions and extend the time within the interview must have been evident as I’d become almost
rude trying to fit everything in. The interview was nothing like I’d thought and I’m sure I made a complete fool of myself. All
that fear and no sleep had been worthless as the interview had taken a completely different path to the way I imagined it to
have flowed.

I was expecting the obligatory ‘sorry’ letter; but I was short listed for a second interview. It just goes to show you cannot be
sure of anything.

My preparation for the second interview was none existent. I wasn’t going to suffer the fear and anxiety of the first. I went
into the interview sharp and alert and I’d told myself that I needed to respond according to how my intuition instructed me.

The whole experience was much more pleasurable. The interview was even humorous at times. We talked about my
favourite hobbies, my philosophy of life, my eagerness to impress and previous jobs. It seemed to be more about me than
the job.

I can’t explain why the two interviews were so wildly different but the good news was that I got the job. I was whittled down
from 45 interviewees. Wow I felt so grateful I served that company for a further fifteen years.

Life is how you choose. Introduce fear and you’ll be frightened. Introduce happiness and you’ll be given opportunity.

(Kevan Marsden, Practical Philosopher)

QUOTE: “Here on the edge of the twenty-first century, a fundamental new rule of business is that the Internet changes
everything.” (“Business @ The Speed Of Thought” by Bill Gates (1999))

To conclude this section let me remind you how different perspectives can change our life. This next sentence will illustrate
perfectly…

DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES

The Minister traveled for days by train and car and boat to one of the furthest islands in the nation. As he surveyed the
bleak but inspiring landscape, he turned to a local villager and said: "You're very remote here, aren't you?" She responded:
"Remote from what?"

(Zen Philosophy)

Submit it to your Sleep

Such a title seems a strange suggestion. What does it mean exactly? It means that the troubles of your mind can be
submitted to your subconscious mind during your period of rest at night. Others would remind you to ‘sleep on it’; but I’m
coming at the same resolution but from a slightly different angle.

Before I progress further allow me to remind you of this story:

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THE OVERFLOWING CUP

Once, a professor went to a Zen Master. He asked him to explain the meaning of Zen. The Master quietly poured a cup of
tea. The cup was full but he continued to pour.

The professor could not stand this any longer, so he questioned the Master impatiently, "Why do you keep pouring when
the cup is full?"

"I want to point out to you," the Master said, "that you are similarly attempting to understand Zen while your mind is full.
First, empty your mind of preconceptions before you attempt to understand Zen."

(Zen Philosophy)

Before you disqualify such a suggestion that you ‘Submit it to Your Sleep’; allow your cup to empty a little.

We are all aware of numerous books and films about the myriad of dreams and nightmares we have during our nighttime
sleep. All of these suggest a certain concept of power, although in physical terms we are relatively motionless our mind can
remain active.

It is this activity that we submit our problems. Each evening as we toil over our troubles we need to practice how to submit
them to our sleep. As we awake the following morning and the rush of memories return back to our conscious mind, we are
presented with a resolution; almost intuitively.

Our subconscious mind has been working on the problem during our sleep!

Remarkable although this process is, we must be aware how our ego can highjack the results. We must be fully attentive as
we submit our troubles to our sleep and equally attentive the following morning as the answers flood in.

If we do not try this suggestion then as with this next story we must allow fate to be in our own hands and not within a
strangers grasp. Our own destiny is within our own clutch and wherever possible we should capitalize upon our own
intuitive processes.

FATE IS YOUR OWN HANDS

Once upon a time, there was a general who was leading his army into battle against an enemy ten times the size of his
own.

Along the way to the battle field, the troops stopped by a small temple to pray for victory.

The general held up a coin and told his troops, "I am going to implore the gods to help us crush our enemy. If this coin lands
with the heads on top, we'll win. If it's tails, we'll lose. Our fate is in the hands of the gods. Let's pray wholeheartedly."

After a short prayer, the general tossed the coin. It landed with the heads on top. The troops were overjoyed and went into
the battle with high spirit.

Just as predicted, the smaller army won the battle.

The soldiers were exalted, "It's good to have the gods on our side! No one can change what they have determined."

"Really?" The general show them the coin--both sides of it were heads.

(Buddhist Parable)

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Dropping ‘Must’, ‘Ought’ and ‘Should’
These words are big words but without power. Fit them in any sentence you prefer and you’ll realize they have potential but
along with this possibility is emptiness. It allows an option on a major principle.

For example: “I really ought to mow the lawn.” “I must remember next time to bring my wallet.” “I should always use my
indicators when turning right!”

I refer specifically to “I” mainly because your own chattering mind loves to get you off the hook by using these words, must,
ought and should.

Your chattering mind is the ego; it can convince you easily that what you haven’t done is okay. It is like a ‘get out of jail
card’.

The basic instruction here is that we should KNOW. It is the ego that glosses over our inadequacies. If we haven’t done
something then we are better planning it into the next day.

“I have been very lazy today and haven’t mowed the lawn. I will (not must) allocate an hour tomorrow.”

“I have turned up at this party and forgotten to bring a birthday present because I forgot my wallet when out shopping. I will
find time tomorrow to buy a present and bring it to this house and surprise them.”

“I keep on forgetting to use my indicators when turning right; I must practice being more alert when driving and always use
them so to warn other drivers of my intention.”

Each of those corrections will have a better effect on the outcome of your actions. Using must, ought and should, will
ultimately leave a promise to you empty, unlikely and improbable.

Allow me to illustrate how our ego compounds the use of such empty words:-

Sometimes we THINK we show enough love.

Think being the word of concern. Most of our thinking involves our ego. Our ego will twist and turn a situation into an
apparent positive. We must beware!

We can go for months and months THINKING that we are doing sufficient in our love for others; when in actual fact we are
being selfish. We are devoting most of our time to ourselves.

Sometimes we don’t see what is directly in front of us. We don’t see the selfish person because our ego convinces us we
are doing the right thing. This ego of ours has a lot to answer for; yet we have an option to curtail its use.

We need to study how our ego affects our decisions. Our findings will be that it operates from a selfish position only. We
must avoid the chattering in our mind to make our OWN decisions.

If we need to make a big decision, we must remember that the best decision will come when we are in a positive frame of
mind.

One good method that is used by the wiser man is to surrender it to our subconscious mind and the right decision will come
to us in a flashing, cum knowing moment. It may take two minutes or two days, but nonetheless the answer will be right for
us; more importantly we will know it to be true. If we can trust this method we will avoid the ego having a say in our future.

THE WOLF AND THE LION

Roaming by the mountainside at sundown, a Wolf saw his own shadow become greatly extended and magnified, and he
said to himself, "Why should I, being of such an immense size and extending nearly an acre in length, be afraid of the Lion?
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Ought I not to be acknowledged as King of all the collected beasts?' While he was indulging in these proud thoughts, a Lion
fell upon him and killed him. He exclaimed with a too late repentance, "Wretched me! This overestimation of myself is the
cause of my destruction."

(Aesop’s Fable)

QUOTE: “What is originality? It is being one's self, and reporting accurately what we see and are.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

ENVY FOR THE WEALTHY

The multi millionaire was passing through our village on a visit to open a new small business. One of my neighbours had
made a determined effort to get amongst the hustle and bustle of the crowds to throw a spiteful comment at the millionaire.

“It is alright for you to preach on how we should cherish small business and what a wonderful life you can obtain from
success, but if I had your money I would happy too,” said my disgruntled neighbour.

The millionaire paused reflectively and responded with, “You have your addition wrong! It is not money before happiness,
but happiness before money. Be happy at what you do and you’ll attract the money and success.”

(Timothy Samuel)

Give Up Trying to Self Improve

Self improvement will happen regardless of you trying. Set out a path where knowledge can be gained and you’ll
experience improvement without the exhaustive effort. Trying implies effort; move forward with full attention only.

Although we experience failure, don’t assume nothing has been gained.

ROLLER SKATING IMPROVES YOUR EDUCATION

I took my family roller skating at our local rink. My step son aged ten is new to the whole idea of skating but he is very keen
to learn.

He’d bought some brand new skates to show his willingness to learn. The first visit he found that the newness of the skates
were causing a problem. The wheels we new and shiny and as a consequence were slippery on the shiny surface of the
rink. As parents we knew that this was a problem so we hired him some temporary skates.

The next occasion we visited the rink my step son had used the skates around the local area and roughed up the wheels so
their traction on the rink should have improved.

In his excitement going into the rink he read a sign outside that spoke of the admission prices. Upon it was a fact that he
relayed to me. “If you have a photo card you can get a discount on admission,” he said in a helpful manner. “You’ve got a
photo card haven’t you?” he said.

I half knew what he meant, but where upon this display board did it say this? I eventually found the sentence; it said, “All
students displaying a ‘photo card’ receive a £1 discount on admission.”

I said, “But we are not students!”

“What is a student?” he asked.

“A student is generally a young adult who has left school and is studying at college or university,” I explained.

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Sometimes you forget at what stage of development a ten year old can be at. Nonetheless we continued through to get
ready to go onto the rink.

My step son was disappointed that his skates still were poor on this slippery surface; we had to hire some from the shop
once more.

At the end of our play we left the rink and I noticed my step son’s disappointment. I said, “Well… although we didn’t
progress very well with the new skates we were able to learn an important new fact.”

“What was that?” he said.

“At least we all know what a student is now,” I replied in an excited voice.

It didn’t exactly take the disappointment away, but it did raise a smile amongst the sadness.

There is always something to be gained from a disappointing day.

(David Howes, United Kingdom)

We often use the word TRY in an attempt to describe how we need to become better. So we TRY to self improve, which as
the theme of this book suggests implies effort. We should avoid effort or work at all costs. If we’re happy with what we are
doing there is no work.

Allow this next examination to illustrate how strange and powerful words can be, especially if avoiding effort and work.

At each moment in time when a situation arises, there isn’t just one option. There are always plenty of options available but
for some reason we wear blinkers and do not see some other glaring alternatives... Strange but true!

We occasionally wallow in our own sadness, when another option is available. We almost persecute ourselves as a torture
for not doing something else right. Have you ever found yourself doing that?

Instead of taking an easy route, for some strange reason we insist upon ourselves that we take the more difficult route as a
penalty. Why?

Why? Because we think negative

We need to practice thinking positive. As ever it is always wise to start small.

Why diet? Why not just eat healthy. You get the same result, it is just another viewpoint. Diet implies negativity within your
mind, eating healthy suggests meaningful efforts in a positive direction.

Enjoy this next story…

A TRIP TO THE MOON

I want to use a trip to the Moon as an analogy for a situation in life that can be very traumatic. I have a child with severe
learning difficulties and find it very difficult to explain to other parents that I still love my child regardless of his condition and
that he experiences a normal life.

To be able to do that I needed to accept a few fundamental principles in life; I hope this story helps…

I’d paid for my visit to the Moon so I was beginning to look forward to the trip. It was about four months away so I began to
research facts about the Moon that will be useful during my visit. I read about the craters, the hills and the dusty surface. I
imagined the view I would get of the earth, I pondered over the fact that there was the weightlessness to experience during
my travel there and the fact that the gravity on the Moon was much less than that of the earth.
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To cut a long story short the four months was crammed with an exciting adventure into the possibilities the Moon had to
offer me as a traveler.

The space travel had begun and my journey to the moon was underway.

As we landed the pilot said, “Welcome to Mars!”

“No!” I responded loudly, “I’ve booked to go to the Moon.”

The pilot spoke back, “I’m sorry but this space ship is only going to Mars.”

“All my life I’ve wanted to visit the Moon. The past four months have taken me on an intensive adventure to learn about the
Moon. What use will that be to me on Mars!” I responded annoyingly.

The pilot gave me his final comment, “Mars is not the Moon that is for sure. But each planet has its own fascination. Each
has a history; each has a potentially exciting future. You may not be initially drawn to the planet Mars but I’m sure with a
little change of mindset you could grow to love this planet even more than the Moon. The Moon may well have given you an
experience to remember for the rest of your life; but Mars will improve both your life and your tolerance to life. You will be a
better person for visiting Mars.”
It wasn’t long before I understood what the pilot was trying to say. Mars was a planet with greater interest and I would
become a better person for enjoying a visit to Mars rather than the Moon. Perhaps it was fate; somehow I needed Mars
more than I needed the Moon.

Perhaps they may always be a tinge of regret that I’d boarded the wrong space ship, but the new journey I’d taken was to
be an adventure I’d cherish for the rest of my life.

If you don’t understand the analogy… the pilot was the doctor telling me my son was to mentally disabled and he would
suffer for the rest of his life.

(Darren Marshall, New Zealand)

QUOTE: “Mankind always sets itself only those problems it can solve; since, looking at the matter more closely, one will
always find that the task itself arises only when the material conditions for its solution already exist or are at least in the
process of formation. (Karl Marx)

The Law of Sow and Reap

If you recall the Bible story of ‘The Sower’ you will remember that for anything to happen you need to sow your seeds.
Eventually all of those seeds will try to grow, but not all will succeed.

As it is with life, you cannot expect to harvest without at first sowing.

If you want future happiness you need to sow the seeds.

Stories from the far-east often leave the moral of the story untold, but yet still pretty obvious. The next story has several
meanings, but I suppose I would be one of the few to use it to illustrate the law of sow and reap.

THE HOLY MAN

Word spread across the countryside about the wise Holy Man who lived in a small house at the top of a mountain.

A man from the village decided to make the long and difficult journey to visit him.

When he arrived at the house, he saw an old servant inside who greeted him at the door.
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“I would like to see the wise Holy Man,” he said to the servant.

The servant smiled and led him inside. As they walked through the house, the man from the village looked eagerly around
the house, anticipating his encounter with the Holy Man.

Before he knew it, ha had been led to the back door and escorted outside. He stopped and turned to the servant,
“But I want to see the Holy Man!”

“You already have,” said the old man. “Everyone you meet in life, even if they appear plain and insignificant… see each of
them as a wise Holy Man. If you do this, then whatever problem you brought here today will be solved.”

(A Zen Story)

QUOTE: “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” (Robert Louis Stevenson, Author).

The purpose of this story is more to reflect upon the quote above. The village man in the story was disappointed not to see
the Holy Man, but without first sowing the seed of intention he would never have visited the house.

You must first have an intention to sow and reap for there to be a harvest. If you just had an intention but didn’t follow it
through with an action, then the process would never start.

One of the major issues that people have about the law of ‘sow and reap’ is that of fear. They are unsure that an action will
benefit them so they prefer not to do an action.

We need to take into consideration our INTUITION as this gives us an immediate gut reaction to circumstances. We can
sense that an action is good. In allowing our intuition to supply us with this information we can make positive actions easier.

If we have to stop and think, the likelihood of the action being for the so called ‘good’ would be improbable.

Sowing seeds is a good analogy of ‘attachment’. We sow seeds and thus expect growth as a consequence. The attachment
to this expectation could prevent us from sowing any further seeds. Be aware of this principle as this could prevent you from
continually sowing seeds. You may have sown and then choose to sit back and wait for the fruit to grow; you must farm the
whole of your land every day of the year and not just one field on one day.

Sometimes our FEAR can restrict us doing various actions. Allow this illustration to illuminate the point.

THE ROOTS GROW STRONGER

I was moving house and had taken weeks upon weeks boxing items inside the house; surely I thought that moving house
was one of the most stressful parts of your life.

As weeks had gone the solicitors and estate agents were coming up with excuses for the move to be delayed. The panic
and fear as to whether I would eventually move had begun; well until one afternoon…

The pressure of moving was getting me down so I went and stood on my back step looking into the back garden. It was
here that I noticed the perfect analogy of life. I’d decided to take all the planters and vases in the house move that I’d
collected to decorate my back garden. A few of the more beautiful plants I’d wondered whether they would accept a move
from one house to another without suffering. One of which was a small tree I had planted in memory of my mother who had
recently died. I consulted a green fingered friend of mine.

“No they should be fine if you take care and attention over their roots. It doesn’t hurt them being uprooted and transplanted
so many times. You may get the occasional one that suffers, but that is normally because you didn’t take care of the roots.
Dig around their main stem by about a foot or so and a couple of feet down and you should move them fine with plenty of
nutrition on their replanting. In fact the very move can sometime improve their growth.” The green fingered friend explained.
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Wow I thought! Isn’t that so much like our life? We can endure a bad patch in our life and most of the time we come out
better for it in the end. If only we remembered that we need to care for our roots!

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Once you have understood the principle of ‘Sow and Reap’ the clarity increase when you’ve tested the theory, applied the
action and studied the outcome. In doing this you increase the likelihood of making it a good habit within your daily life.

SOWING THE SEEDS OF HAPPINESS

In my early career I worked in the treasury department of Local Government. It was here that I found myself working
alongside a rather butch woman.

Everyone within the department kept away from this woman as she had a fiery temper. It was this section that I was to work
in for the next two years so I had to choose to be happy and not adapt the same opinion.

To paint a picture of this butch woman, she was stocky and had shoulders, neck and muscles of a building site labourer.
After she finished work she went back home to work on her farm. Occasionally, which was another reason for other staff
members to dislike her was that she brought the smell of the farm with her most days.

It took a few months but I was polite and inquisitive about her farm life. Eventually I became her ‘pet’ and was as others
described her best pal; this led to a working environment that had a much better working relationship with this butch lady.

If I’d not sown the seeds of an intended good working relationship the situation would have turned sour. It turned out that a
few of her morals and her philosophy of life was to illuminate a better understanding of wisdom for me. So from a possible
failure to a huge success; sowing the seeds of happiness allowed a beautiful relationship to develop.

(Andy Bolton)

As we can see with that story we can sow seeds in our garden to produce vegetables, or we can sow seeds in relationships
for the better.

Every day there maybe a series of changes that can affect our tomorrow; but nonetheless we should have a few sound
objectives cum goals to aim for. If we allow life to trample upon us and force us into living in a way we may regret, then
having goals may keep us on track. Without specific goals we’re too easily side-tracked and finish up where we never
originally intended. This could be in relationships, career, family, love, happiness and many other aspects of our life.

ARE OUR GOALS REALLY DREAMS?

How do we succeed in life? A big question which could take a year to explain, but there is one simple answer and that is
ACTION.

The difference between a goal and a dream is action.

Many people can be gifted in a certain aspect of their life but that doesn’t immediately qualify them for success. They need
a certain degree of planning; such as writing down their goals in life.

Subconsciously this writing down of goals improves your spirit and encourages you to take action.

Self motivation and a good personal philosophy can take you from an average to an excellent. Written down goals followed
by action is a secret; don’t tell anyone or they’ll all be doing it!

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

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QUOTE: "An average person with average talent, ambition and education, can outstrip the most brilliant genius in our
society, if that person has clear, focused goals." (Brian Tracey).

Trust
Some change is forced upon you. Without doubt this is the change you may fear most, and justifiably so.

But there is an answer. The answer is trust. You must trust your ability to adapt.

Allow yourself to wallow in sadness for a while, perhaps a few hours, a few days, or a few weeks depending on the
circumstances. Then time itself will help you adapt to change.

(Allow me to excuse one change. If you are faced with bereavement, then this is a change that few can expect. My advice
would be to accept counselling from all; that means both the authorities and your family and friends. Cherish the happy
memories and allow time to help heal the emptiness).

Imagine your very first love, and I beg forgiveness for those who still live their first love, but at the moment the relationship
ceases, you’d had thought that the world would end.

Your friends and family would have given the appropriate support.

For every 5 plus factors in a relationship, there are normally one or two factors that you struggle with. Breaking up from your
first love is a big learning process, not that you could see that at the time.

Every subsequent relationship is built on a better fundamentals; and so therefore… should every other aspect of your life.

Just a little trust and both small and big changes will not become so fearful.

The next story confirms if any suspicion exists, that events happen for a reason. Adapting to change following such an
event will be done from strength and not from fear and weakness.

A DONKEY, A ROOSTER AND A LAMP

Rabbi Moshe took a trip to a strange land. He took a donkey, a rooster, and a lamp. Since he was a Jew, he was refused
hospitality in the village inns, so he decided to sleep in the woods.

He lit his lamp to study the holy books before going to sleep, but a fierce wind came up, knocking over the lamp and
breaking it. The rabbi decided to turn in, saying, "All that God does, he does well." During the night some wild animals came
along and drove away the rooster and thieves stole the donkey. Moshe wake up, saw the loss, but still proclaimed easily,
"All that God does, he does well."

The rabbi then went back to the village where he was refused lodging, only to learn that enemy soldiers had invaded it
during the night and killed all the inhabitants. He also learned that these soldiers had travelled through the same part of the
woods where he lay asleep. Had his lamp not been broken he would have been discovered. Had not the rooster been
chased, it would have crowed, giving him away. Had not the donkey been stolen, it would have brayed. So once more
Rabbi Moshe declared, "All that God does, he does well!"

(Jewish Parable)

QUOTE: “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggle develops your strength. When you go through hardships and
decide not to surrender, that is your strength.” (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Actor)

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Commitment
When you work alone, you may find it difficult to motivate yourself; then it would follow that when you are in a group you
wouldn’t be the person designated to motivate.

If for example you work alone, you snatch four coffee breaks within two hours, when you are in a group you may be the one
that encourages four coffee breaks.

So it would follow when you work alone you’ll never get all the work done, and when you are in a group, you’ll be the one
that they can’t rely on to pull their weight.

Working in a group may well motivate you, but the underlying thread of ‘You ARE who you ARE when alone’ will dictate
most things in your life.

If you are a great person whom everyone respects, this respect wasn’t acquired overnight. It will have taken years to
achieve. Enjoy this next story it explains that the acquisition of quality doesn’t happen overnight.

THE PRINCIPLE OF NATURE

I live within 2 miles of the Derbyshire countryside in the United Kingdom. The same example could be applied if I lived two
miles from any beautiful area in the world.

As you grow up into your 20’s and 30’s you tend to have an eagerness to travel, to visit beautiful areas of the world that
maybe a 100 miles or 5,000 miles from where you live. What you forget is the beauty that you have on your doorstep.

Just a minute… That’s a thought that springs to mind when you travel through the beauty within 2 miles of your home. Here
I am traveling through beautiful scenery and for the first 20 years of my adult life I’ve been spending my income on visiting
scenery around the world when I’ve got some of the best scenery on my doorstep.

Eon’s and eon’s have passed that have carved the beautiful hills and valleys, whether that be 2 miles from where I live or
5,000 miles. The same principle of nature has been applied to erode such beautiful landscapes. It may have taken 100,000
years for our landscapes to have developed as they have; and fortunately it may take us 20 years of our adulthood to see
that our locality has the same erosion as that of the world’s wonders.

As adults we are blessed with a vision, backed by a comprehension that beauty exists. Yet it can take us 20 adult years
before we realize that such beauty is all around us.

Pebbled beach or sandy beach, two more aspects of beauty that are also a principle of nature; either of the two has taken
eon’s of waves crashing against the shore to develop.

As adults take 20 years to comprehend beauty on their doorstep and understand the beauty and value of the experience of
time, so does nature take its time in creating beauty.

Volcanoes, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes can change our landscapes in minutes. They can have the same
principle of nature applied to them, but rarely do they create beauty.

When you move into another house it can be a decade before you have the house looking just how you want it. This isn’t a
problem, but recognition that the principle of nature can take time. Beauty isn’t created in seconds, there is no quick fix.

I say there is no quick fix to beauty apart from one. It can make something unattractive into attractive in moments. Study
your face and see that altering a few muscles can alter the beauty of a room. Try smiling! Now that is a quick fix.

The principle of nature concludes that there is no short cut to beauty; bar one and that is to smile. There is little effort and it
costs nothing.

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(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

The rules of commitment to achieve your goals are as the story of the principle of nature implies; commit to developing
beauty and you’ll succeed. Commit to developing anything and you’ll succeed. As for smiling, that’s the only quick fix you’ll
ever need.

QUOTE: “You play the way you practice.” (Pop Warner, Football Coach)

Full Attention
Few people realize the power of a focused attention.

First and foremost it gets ‘one’ job done. Secondly it allows this one job to be carefully executed with accuracy; and finally, it
creates a good habit.

Pin-pointed attention suggests only one thing in wisdom… and that is that your attention is on one thing only. If you try to do
two jobs at once and keep on transferring your attention or more awkwardly physically trying to do two jobs and share your
attention. The resulting jobs will take longer and not have the exquisite quality of perfection labeled to them.

Many men who live in a busy family unit may well recognize, and I speak from experience, that many ‘do-it-yourself’ jobs
never get completed. Not enough time, materials, extra help or being short of tools are the easy made excuses; but often
the main reason is not focusing on one job only.

It is an instant improvement in ‘Self-Development’ to be able to understand the importance of focusing the attention.

TWO ROADS OVERCAME THE HYENA

A very hungry hyena went out on the Tanzanian plains to hunt for food. He came to a branch in the bush road where the
two paths veered off in different directions. He saw two goats caught in the thickets at the far end of the two different paths.
With his mouth watering in anticipation, he decided that his left leg would follow the left path and his right leg the right path.
As the two paths continued to veer in different directions he tried to follow them both at once. Finally he split in two.

(Zen Story)

QUOTE: "Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into. There's no scarcity of opportunity to make
a living at what you love. There is only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen. (Wayne W. Dyer)

Will change ever make you happy?

From the sad to the inevitable change in your life you’ll be fighting with the emotions that follow. Accepting change is
dependent upon your state of mind.

If a change in life style that is not your choice continues to make you angry then that emotion will rule your thoughts. It is
unlikely you’ll ever experience being happy unless your thoughts move onto a different subject.

The key therefore is not to dwell on the situation that develops that anger. With time the anger will dissipate, but in the short
term we need to visualize our attention on a different subject.

When we are content and happy the sudden flip of attention to the ‘angry change’ will lessen the intensity of the anger. But
we must also flip our attention with an equal ease back from the negative emotion to the content and happy. We can do this
by visualizing what makes us happy and giving that topic our full attention.

This next story illustrates the power of full attention.

IMPROVING THE GOLF SWING

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There are many stories of grit and determination, but few come close to those who have to endure time in prison. Firstly we
must acknowledge that this time is their duty to serve, but nonetheless they have a period of a few years to occupy their
mind.

Occupying their mind can come in several formats, many choose to educate themselves, others choose to allow the time to
just pass and the remaining try and visualize a better life they’d hope to come out of prison for.

This visualization could be improving their humanity, their compassion, their empathy or their character; or as this next story
illustrates their skills.

This particular prison inmate enjoyed a game of golf, so to occupy his time each day he imagined he was on the golf
course. He played every hole of his favourite golf course, step by step and stroke by stroke. Three years behind bars
allowed him to visualize this game of golf and imagine an improvement in his skills as a golfer. The slice he had before he
went into prison was rectified with a better stance within his prison cell; he improved his putting and his drive off the tee.

He improved his imaginary game from a 28 over par to an average of a 14 over par. The test would come when he left
prison.

Amazingly his first game proved the point that his visualization had enabled him to improve his own skills as a golfer. He
managed a 13 over par.

(Maxine Humphrey, Journalist)

QUOTE: “Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose--a point on which the soul may fix its
intellectual eye.” (Mary Shelley)

Some people think that there is a method of how to appear dominating and in charge.

Imagine for example a politician; don’t they appear to be totally dominant in their persona? What about the President or as
we have here in England, a Prime Minister, don’t they appear to be always ‘in charge’ of their behavioral patterns?

Broadcasters, high flying business people, high ranking army officials, high ranking government personnel, these and many
more seem to have a charisma of strength and determination. So what is their secret?

Making sure they are fully alert, and you will notice these people never allow themself to comment unless they have studied
the facts. Knowledge is power!

If you listen and respond, you will create the same energy and communication skills as these who perfect it professionally.

QUOTE: “When you only ever half listen, you can expect nothing less than only ever being half as effective.”

Always pay full attention. Listen and respond from what ever spills out of your mouth. In effect what your heart tells you to
say.

If you could ever trust that reaction, you’ll realize its potential.

Try and remember a moment where you spoke without thinking, and the quality of that comment that was spoken; you may
have even thought that it had come from someone else’s mouth because it was so profound.

Express this power vocally and physically and you will impress. If you knew how to harness this power you would use it
regularly

Adapting to change in this way is simple. Test, try and see; you may well be impressed yourself. So don’t forget to listen
and respond from the heart instantly.
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You will not know unless you try! Remember this illustration…

THE DEBATE

This example occurred in 1960.

In was an American Presidential debate between Richard Nixon and John F Kennedy. The debate was broadcast both on
radio and, for the first time on television. The majority of people who listened to the radio thought Nixon won the debate. But
by far the majority watched it on television. Those that did thought Kennedy won.

Why? Kennedy was much better at sending “elect me” messages in a visual way that that of Nixon.

(American Historical Event).

QUOTE: “Every man carries in his eye the exact indication of his rank.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

DON’T WORRY ABOUT TIME

There are two days in every week that cause us pain and anxiety. Which days are they? Yesterday and tomorrow!

We spend a good deal of our life worrying about these two days and the best and only time to deal with them is in the
present moment.

Yesterday has all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. We cannot affect any moment that
happened yesterday, it is beyond our control; yesterday has gone forever.

Tomorrow has all the possibilities, the adversities, the burdens, its large promise and the possible poor performance. We
cannot expect tomorrow to run as true as we plan it. We must plan it but only execute that plan in the present moment as
we can be assured that changes are inevitable.

We can always handle the present moment; it is only when we add the complexities of tomorrow and the burdens of
yesterday that the task seems to increase in difficulty.

So where do we go and what do we do?

Firstly yesterday’s problems and burdens have happened, we can do no more in the present moment than act to the best of
our ability. These continuous good actions should eventually rectify all our yesterday’s afflictions.

As for tomorrow’s expectations, we can never be sure the day will run according to plan. The best advice is to allow some
flexibility in your plan that will allow us to effectively change what is happening in the present moment. When the plan falters
we must execute a change and bring it back on track.

Nothing happens in the future, it can only happen in the NOW. What has happened yesterday cannot be altered; we can
only correct a problem from yesterday with a positive action in the present moment.

Let us live more in the present and not so much in the past or the future. Neither time periods exist so that we can alter
them. The only method of alteration is in the NOW.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

HOW DO YOU GET WISE?

An old country doctor was celebrated for his wisdom. "Dr. Sage," a young man asked, "How did you get so wise?"

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"Weren't hard," said the doc. "I've got good judgment. Now, good judgment comes from experience," he continued. "And
experience - well, that comes from having bad judgment."

(Eastern Philosophy)

Children will forget lies, but somehow not forget the truth. There is a huge chasm of investigation within that thought, but the
moral is as a person or a parent we must always tell the truth to children.

I can recall on several occasions trying a sarcastic sense of humour upon my children; and on each occurrence they
weren’t quite ready for such advancement. They just muttered that ‘Daddy’ was a bit strange.

You will find that if you speak the truth there is a certain ring in the voice that confirms this fact. Then when you try some
sarcastic humour those people around you stare in utter disbelief for a moment; retrieve from their mind what you had said
and replay it, to realize that your conviction was lost in the voice and obviously what you had uttered was an untruth.

Children are very sharp and often more fully attentive than what we realize. As you may do as an adult, you can recall with
clarity of mind an incident from your childhood. This power of recall you should find is based around the happenings of
‘truth’. You will rarely remember an incident that involved lies and deceit.

Not surprisingly therefore there are plenty of positive events that surround the memory of truth. Truth has a habit of arising
whenever we are fully attentive. Kindness, caring, generosity and most of all ‘love’ will manifest where truth exists.

QUOTE: “One’s first step in wisdom is to question everything – and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.”
(George Christoph Lichtenberg)

QUOTE: “Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities
and undertake the most interesting game in the world – making the most of one’s best.” (Harry Emerson Fosdick)

Things are not always as they seem! This is true, but we would only see it if we had full attention. If we were not focused we
would overlook an important fact. Allow this next story illustrate this.

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM…

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the
angels stay in the mansion’s guestroom. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made
their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the
older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what
little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night’s rest. When the sun
came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their
sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this
happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to
share everything, and you let the cow die. "Things aren’t always what they seem", the older angel replied.

When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner
was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.

Then last night as we slept in the farmer’s bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things
aren't always what they seem.

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to
trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later...

(An African Story of Faith)

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QUOTE: “There will always be some curve balls in your life. Teach your children to thrive in adversity.” (Jeanne
Moutoussamy-Ashe)

Persistence
If we study nature we will grow wise. The animal kingdom will react with amazing speed and can teach us some very simple
lessons if we choose to watch carefully.

This next story is about the birth of a giraffe. Upon reading the first few paragraphs you may well have sympathy for the
baby giraffe, but the lesson to be taught is unique.

The first hour of the birth of a giraffe is hard work, both for baby and mother. But that hour becomes priceless for the
ultimate survival of the giraffe in the wild.

Seldom do we value time, until we are short of it.

Can time be a valuable tool for wisdom? If you sat and did nothing for one hour, you have wasted 60 minutes; never to be
retrieved! “I was sat in the hospital waiting for my out-patient appointment for three hours,” said a frustrated patient. The
very implication here is that the patient was frustrated and therefore not happy. Time had been wasted.

If you see an ironing board full of completed ironing, there is a degree of satisfaction. That hour has been both fulfilling and
satisfying. This would Imply, that when we use time with good effect we are more than likely to be happy.

The moral therefore is ‘never misuse TIME’.

THE BABY GIRAFFE

A newly born giraffe has already fallen almost ten feet from their mother’s womb; falling onto their back they have an
instinct to survive. You can witness the struggle as the newly born attempts to get upon its feet. In the wild these few
moments are important. The baby giraffe tucks their legs underneath their body for the first attempt to stand up. They
hesitate for a moment as they themselves witness the reality of life.

The mother bends down and nudges the baby back into movement as time is of the essence for survival. If the baby
doesn’t respond the mother would kick the baby head over heals to see the struggle to get the right way up commence
again. This struggle, although strange to witness is an imperative part of a new baby’s life; the giraffe has to be able to roll
into the standing up position as quickly as possible. If the speed isn’t impressive the mother will kick the baby giraffe time
and time again until the recovery is suitable enough for survival.

What we see now is a baby giraffe with spindly legs that appear to hinder the very act of standing up. The legs are not too
dissimilar to that of a spider as they walk. From this point to the actual standing up could take an hour. It is a momentous
occasion in the bay giraffe’s life.

The calf will be exhausted on more than one occasion in this first hour, but the mother will not stop kicking when
appropriate to stimulate further attempts. In the wild the calf remains vulnerable until it can stand and walk.

If the hour’s work for the baby wasn’t impressive, the mother would kick the calf back off its feet again. The mother would
sense that her baby in the wild needs to rise from a sitting position within the herd should the need arise.

Lions, hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and they'd get it too, if the mother didn't teach her
calf to get up quickly and get with it.

This description of a baby giraffe’s need to survive is not too dissimilar to that of a human’s trait to accomplish a dream. A
human’s goal cum dream maybe beyond their reach but the trials and tribulations that they encounter upon the path to
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achievement runs parallel to that of the baby giraffe. They may be beaten by circumstances, knocked down by uncontrolled
events and be a hair’s breadth away from success for years but never know it. But the important part as with the calf is to
get back up and stand again ready for the next challenge; not be beaten by the faintest breeze.

Giraffe or human we should not be destroyed by failure. We should realize that any attempt that results in failure makes our
dream one step closer.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “To fill the hour, --- that is happiness.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

Ask
To illustrate the need to ask I have an amusing story, and interestingly it brings a principle of perception forward that we
may not have considered, yet it provides an example of how sometimes when we’re not really sure that we need to ask..

I’ll allow you to read the story and I’ll comment afterwards.

GRAND PRIX

It happened on a TV show some 20 years ago where children were put under the spotlight. I can’t remember the exact
name of the show but it for the sake of this illustration lets say it was called ‘Children do the most amazing things’.

This particular young girl was about 9 or 10 years old, she was meant to be a news presenter and as a consequence was
sat at a table and reading from a script. She reported several news items and then turned to the sport’s news.

She knew what she knew and as a consequence made a little blunder with a pronunciation. She said, “Now we have some
news about the Grand Pricks (meant to be Prix; pronounced ‘pree’)”.

There was obviously some kafuffle behind the scenes trying to get her to correct the pronunciation, but she commented
with honesty and innocence, “Well that’s how it is spelt on this script P R I X.”

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

The first consideration here is lack of knowledge. If this little girl didn’t know the correct pronunciation then she was never
going to get it right. This is not the fault of the little girl as it happens to many adults. What we tend to do as an adult is
brush past, duck and dive and wash over situations that we desperately don’t want others to detect our lack of knowledge.

Instead of asking we’d prefer to remain in the dark.

Here is another example:

BRITISH FOOTBALL

I can remember an incident whilst at school.

As I live in the United Kingdom our most popular national sports game is soccer. Well I was playing for our school team. As
a bonus the school had invited a former professional soccer player to be referee. By chance this player had bought a local
newsagent business one minute from where I lived and I was a paper boy; so he knew me as a local lad who played with
his son.

The incident happened during a school match with another local rival team. Although the ex-professional soccer player
should have not shown any favouritism he helped both his own son and little old me.

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For those who are not too familiar with the rules of soccer, other than the goalkeeper no other player should handle the ball.

I was ten years-old and playing for my school soccer team, plus my local shopkeeper come ex-professional was helping me
play better. He gave me some advice… I had received the ball and had a few moments to consider my next move. This ex-
professional told me to hold the ball. Jargon I may say for a soccer player, but for a ten year-old it means pick the ball up.
“Put the ball back down and kick it up the wing,“ he said quickly.

I had committed the cardinal sin of touching the ball with my hands. I can laugh now at the incident but the truth remains
that people are not aware how language can be limiting if we allow it.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Having digressed I hope this extra story explains how easy it is to complicate communication if we don’t comprehend its
content properly.

What we need to practice is ‘how best to ask questions’.

In asking questions we should be certain of one thing, that if we ask we shall receive. Yet the one problem we will all
encounter is we shouldn’t assume that everyone understands the very nature of our question.

To ask is to receive; but if we ask the wrong question we get back an answer that won’t help. So as with the above two
illustrations we must not always assume that out of ten people not all ten grasp your conversation, the first eight may just
understand, the following two may not.

So the moral to consider; while ever you are in a happy state you’ll spot those that don’t comprehend what you’re asking,
but when you’re in a cranky mood you’ll expect everyone to understand… And ‘if not why not!’

This SEEING is an attribute to being happy.

In our adulthood we go on very few educational courses that aid our ‘philosophy of life’. We must therefore self educate
most of the time. If we are in doubt we must ask a question to eliminate this uncertainty. Asking questions is your gateway
to an improved life.

The illustrations I have used however is to remind you how perception can hinder your questions. Make sure you ask the
right question and make sure the question is understood. Although I have used two examples from the perspective of two
ten year olds, that incapacity of perceptibility still remains evident when we are adults.

QUOTE: “Approach each new problem not with a view of finding what you hope will be there, but to get the truth, the
realities that must be grappled with. You may not like what you find. In that case you are entitled to try and change it. But do
not deceive yourself as to what you do find to be the facts of the situation.” (Bernard M Baruch)

Make Yourself Available

How do you explain love to a child? Not easily! But they do pick up the emotional content of love very quickly.

Love for a family member or partner is very special and if you attempted to explain this to your child, you may well be afraid
of missing some important ingredient.

Love for a friend or colleague is subtly different, it would be the intensities that are different.

As a child becomes a young adult they become fully aware of what is required in loving a friend. But when of course that
love is tested, they may become confused.

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In fact even an adult of maturity can get confused. This leads to negativity and thus sadness. Often the difference between
happiness and sadness is just our perspective; if we could only recognize that just a simple adjustment could turn our whole
world completely around. Allow this next story to illustrate this principle.

RAINY DAY, SUNNY DAY

There was once an old lady who cried all the time. Her elder daughter was married to an umbrella merchant while the
younger daughter was the wife of a noodle vendor. On sunny days, she worried, "Oh no! The weather is so nice and sunny.
No one is going to buy any umbrellas. What will happen if the shop has to be closed?"

These worries made her sad. She just could not help but cry. When it rained, she would cry for the younger daughter. She
thought, "Oh no! My younger daughter is married to a noodle vendor. You cannot dry noodles without the sun. Now there
will be no noodles to sell. What should we do?" As a result, the old lady lived in sorrow everyday. Whether sunny or rainy,
she grieved for one of her daughters. Her neighbours could not console her and jokingly called her "the crying lady."

One day, she met a monk. He was very curious as to why she was always crying. She explained the problem to him. The
monk smiled kindly and said, "Madam! You need not worry. I will show you a way to happiness, and you will need to grieve
no more."

The crying lady was very excited. She immediately asked the monk to show her what to do. The master replied, "It is very
simple. You just need to change your perspective. On sunny days, do not think of your elder daughter not being able to sell
umbrellas but the younger daughter being able to dry her noodles. With such good strong sunlight, she must be able to
make plenty of noodles and her business must be very good. When it rains, think about the umbrella store of the elder
daughter. With the rain, everyone must be buying umbrellas. She will sell a lot of umbrellas and her store will prosper."

The old lady saw the light. She followed the monk’s instruction. After a while, she did not cry anymore; instead, she was
smiling everyday. From that day on she was known as "the smiling lady."

(Eastern Scripture)

QUOTE: “Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I am beautiful because you love me?” (Oscar Hammerstein, II)

Forgiveness
It is often spoken that wealth is within the confines of your family; and not the amount of money you have in the bank. If this
is so, then it must follow that children are your most valuable assets.

Children therefore need guidance throughout their life, as you in effect mould their very presence in society.

In this next story we have a very good lesson about forgiveness. Your children need to hear this story.

Our children’s success and level of intelligence is determined by the amount of effort we as parents make towards this goal.
We owe it to their development. If as with many parents, your finances don’t allow you to buy the normal toys and goodies
that children become accustomed to, then rather than that become a detrimental factor, count it as a blessing. You will need
to find the time to give them more of everything else.

They will benefit from your personal attention that wouldn’t have been given had they gotten their toys to play with.

Here is the story…

SAND AND STONE

This story tells of two friends that were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument,
and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in
the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."
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They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got
stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he
wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write
on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it
away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

(Islamic Story)

QUOTE: "We all have inconveniences of one kind or another. How you deal with them ultimately determines how
successful you are.” (Craig McFarlane – Blind Motivational Speaker)

Humour (Be Glad)

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts
and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." (Grenville Kleiser
1868-1953, Author)

Do you celebrate a birthday in a big way? An observation to consider is why wait a full year to be happy? We need to try to
make every day full of the essence that brings forth a cheerful attitude.

The next few illustrations allow us to see humour and how it can illuminate a way forward in wisdom.

If you strive for financial prosperity, would you bend your head down and charge your way through life, bustling everything
out of your way. Or would you do your job to the best of your ability, remain cheerful and happy and watch with due care
and attention as the play of life unfolds.

QUOTE: “If you can react the same way to winning and losing, that is a big accomplishment. That quality is important
because it stays with you the rest of your life.” (Chris Evert, American tennis player)

It is how you view life that assists in your efforts to be happy. Everyday situations do arise regularly that try to knock you off
your pedestal, almost as if a magnet is pulling you down.

To do a certain task may hold you in high esteem amongst your colleagues, but to do it with grace, nobleness, cheerfulness
and a most pleasant attitude; will imply that you have room for more. You have a big heart, but wait until they see it at its
biggest. You are determined, but wait until they see you totally committed. In other words you’ll appear to breeze through
every task, in fact you’ll find no need to impress people with what you do, it will envied by many as you lead by example.

Allow these next few stories illustrate the importance humour and how it allows education to flow freely. As soon as we
become confused the educational aspect is lost.

LEARNING THE HARD WAY

The son of a master thief asked his father to teach him the secrets of the trade. The old thief agreed and that night took his
son to burglarize a large house. While the family was asleep, he silently led his young apprentice into a room that contained
a clothes closet. The father told his son to go into the closet to pick out some clothes. When he did, his father quickly shut
the door and locked him in. Then he went back outside, knocked loudly on the front door, thereby waking the family, and
quickly slipped away before anyone saw him. Hours later, his son returned home, bedraggled and exhausted. "Father," he
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cried angrily, "Why did you lock me in that closet? If I hadn't been made desperate by my fear of getting caught, I never
would have escaped. It took all my ingenuity to get out!" The old thief smiled. "Son, you have had your first lesson in the art
of burglary."

(Zen Story)

MOVING MIND

Two men were arguing about a flag flapping in the wind. "It's the wind that is really moving," stated the first one. "No, it is
the flag that is moving," contended the second. A Zen master, who happened to be walking by, overheard the debate and
interrupted them. "Neither the flag nor the wind is moving," he said, "It is MIND that moves."

(Zen Story)

OBSESSED

Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her
across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the
water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed.

As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out.
"Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders
and carried her!"

"Brother," the second monk replied, "I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her."

(Zen Story)

SOUNDS OF SILENCE

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to
flicker and then went out. The first monk said, "Oh, no! The candle is out." The second monk said, "Aren't we not suppose
to talk?" The third monk said, "Why must you two break the silence?" The fourth monk laughed and said, "Ha! I'm the only
one who didn't speak."

(Zen Story)

TRUE SELF

A distraught man approached the Zen master. "Please, Master, I feel lost, desperate. I don't know who I am. Please, show
me my true self!" But the teacher just looked away without responding. The man began to plead and beg, but still the
master gave no reply. Finally giving up in frustration, the man turned to leave. At that moment the master called out to him
by name. "Yes!" the man said as he spun back around. "There it is!" exclaimed the master.

Don’t TRY to impress, by doing impressive things. Allow your roots to be fed with love, grace and a happy attitude. Then
everything that grows will be impressive without TRYING…

(Zen Story)

Gratitude
QUOTE: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into
acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a
friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." (Melody Beattie)
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Researchers have found that the virtues of gratitude include good health…

If you can achieve good health by a repetition of simple actions, wouldn’t life be so much easier? Let’s see if we can prove
that theory!

If people admired you, wouldn’t that fill your soul with joy? Gratitude attracts this admiration.

Do you offer thanks for everything or make a request for more? Do you show gratitude or pray for protection?

QUOTE: “Through my years of teaching, I have met people whose lives work and those whose lives don't. The one’s
whose lives don't work, all seem to have something in common - a lack of gratitude for what they have already! It is
impossible for us to gain more in life if we are ambivalent with what we already do have.” (Carole Doré)

QUOTE: “Even if a person is living on the street, there is still always something to be grateful for. And, they had better find
it because appreciation is the power that will expand them right off of the street!” (Carole Doré)

QUOTE: “Gratitude can create a major turning point in your life! It is one of the fastest, simplest, and most powerful ways to
expand energy IMMEDIATELY!” (Carole Doré)

QUOTE: “The light of recognition dispels the darkness without us having to do much more than remain conscious.” (Dr. Eric
Pearl)

Everyone we meet, whether the result of this meeting is good or bad is a messenger. Why? They are sent to enlighten us.

UNSAVOURY CIRCUMSTANCE

Let me give you an example. This last weekend I have had some 48 hour bug, which has left me a little short tempered. My
two children have been testing me a treat, pushing me until I raised my voice in correcting their misbehavior. To their
surprise it was sooner than normal. Short tempered as I was through a short bout of illness they had chosen the wrong time
to test my compassion, love and I guess stupidity.

“Go sit DOWN in the lounge,” I demanded. “A lesson in courtesy, politeness and gratitude is about to happen,” I rumbled in
my deep voice. I looked at my two children, albeit with a headache, stomach ache and back ache and noticed one was
hiding behind a cushion and the other behind her hands awaiting their destiny.

I was meeting a new set of circumstances… so what message had my children for me? The message was clear. Had I not
allowed a handful of incidences to result in my own fury, I should have tackled the first and second in sequence as they
happened.

The emotion of pain had made my tools of comprehension falter. Had I been perfectly healthy I would have corrected my
children each time a problem arose. I must therefore acknowledge that some form of gratitude must be shown for my 48
hour illness, to confirm the need to resolve each unsavoury circumstance as soon as it arises, if at all possible.

Any emotional interference will not help your power to decide. You must be able to see this play in action. Any negative
emotion, including pain, will diminish your senses from supplying the information you require, plus it appears to block your
intuition from operating successfully.

Gratitude allows you to draw strength and wisdom from everyday life. When you encounter a darker moment, gratitude
would show you the shining light, it would illuminate the way out of your problem.

Gratitude can do this! And thus in doing so prevents the pain, anguish and stress involved in the depths of despair.

If you are grateful for what you have you will not suffer the mood swings that occur in moments of jealousy or in times of
anger. The next time you feel grumpy could be the perfect moment to show gratitude for that discomfort; because it is a
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sign; a sign that implies that not too many minutes earlier there is a confirmation that you had made the wrong decision.
Accept it was wrong and try and correct it.

(Wisom and Philosophy.com)

In recent years, many scientists have begun examining the links between wisdom and good health, both physical and
mental. Two psychologists have worked to unlock the puzzle of how faith, religion and spiritualism might promote
happiness. Dr. Michael McCollough, of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Dr. Robert Emmons, of the
University of California at Davis, say their initial scientific study indicates that gratitude plays a significant role in a person's
sense of well-being.

From the simple aspects of wisdom at one end of the scale to the deeper aspects of all religions, many philosophers and
spiritual teachers have celebrated gratitude. The world's major religions, including Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Islam
and Hindu, prize gratitude as a morally beneficial emotional state that encourages reciprocal kindness. Pastors, priests,
parents and grandparents have long extolled the virtues of gratitude, but until recently, scholars have largely ignored it as a
subject of scientific inquiry.

The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm,
determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, you can experience less depression and stress, are more likely to help
others, exercise more regularly and make more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel
grateful are also more likely to feel loved. McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of
reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another.

McCullough says these results also seem to show that gratitude works independently of faith. Though gratitude is a
substantial part of most religions, he says the benefits extend to the general population, regardless of faith or lack thereof.
In light of his research, McCullough suggests that anyone can increase their sense of well-being and create positive social
effects just from counting their blessings.

How many moments of contentment do you allow yourself to experience in a day?

Like most emotional states, contentment is created by our thoughts, most of which are life-long habits. The more we focus
on a particular state of being, the more of it we create for ourselves. If we habitually focus on resentment, envy, a sense of
lack or other painful states, they tend to increase. If we focus, instead on more positive states like contentment or hope,
they tend, likewise, to increase.

To focus on gratitude therefore is likely to cause a spiraling effect of a greater focus. This in itself has both improved
character features and as mentioned earlier a likelihood of improved health.

If we persist in considering thoughts that are draining we’ll have no energy to fight our daily problems. Yet if we train and
practice these repetitive acts of gratitude and self gratitude we’ll continue to strengthen our response muscle; so that when
the next problem arises we can defeat it with ease.

Desire for MORE can leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled. Having MORE does not, alas, make us more content, because
as soon as we acquire a new level brought on by desire, we suddenly realise we want MORE. The major key to
contentment is gratitude. Being thankful for what you have leads to contentment, while continually wanting more digs the
hole that causes distress and ill health. It is human to want MORE, and while that motivates us to keep moving, seldom do
we have any sustained sense of ENOUGH.

As like a magnet we get drawn into situations, our desire pulls us mercilessly towards pain but we cannot see it. What is a
good solution to help us encourage gratitude? Centeredness, the capacity to focus and not be led around willy-nilly by
scattered thoughts, a technique we should no doubt adopt.

Whether centeredness is gained by a few moments of deep thought, or by a short meditation; the ultimate aim is to return
back to a calm self in order to SEE how valuable gratitude can be.

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To this paragraph I have not mentioned ABUNDANCE. Gratitude for whatever abundance we already have is a way of
opening to abundance in other areas of our lives.

If you consider what you have, you’ve not done so bad! The areas that caused the problems in your life I’m sure will not be
repeated. But the important point is that if you are grateful for what you already have, doors open and opportunities arise.
Or that is how it appears. What actually happens is that everything continues as it would normally, but you’re more highly
alert and charged for accepting greater ABUNDANCE.

THE SLAVE AND THE LION

A slave ran away from his master, by whom he had been most cruelly treated, and, in order to avoid capture, betook
himself into the desert.

As he wandered about in search of food and shelter, he came to a cave, which he entered and found to by unoccupied.
Really, however, it was a lion's den, and almost immediately, to the horror of the wretched fugitive, the lion himself
appeared. The man gave himself up for lost. But, to his utter astonishment, the lion, instead of springing upon him, came
and fawned upon him, at the same time whining and lifting up his paw. Observing it to be much swollen and inflamed, he
examined it and found a large thorn embedded in the ball of the foot. He accordingly removed it and dressed the wound as
well as he could. And in course of time it healed up completely.

The lion's gratitude was unbounded. He looked upon the man as his friend, and they shared the cave for some time
together. A day came, however, when the slave began to long for the society of his follow men, and he bade farewell to the
lion and returned to the town. Here he was presently recognized and carried off in chains to hi former master, who resolved
to make an example of him, and ordered that he should be thrown to the beasts at the next public spectacle in the theatre.

On the fatal day the beasts were loosed into the arena, and among the rest a lion of huge bulk and ferocious aspect. And
then the wretched slave was cast in among them. What was the amazement of the spectators, when the lion after one
glance bounded up to him and lay down at his feet with every expression of affection and delight! It was his old friend of the
cave! The audience clamoured that the slave's life should be spared. And the governor of the town, marvelling at such
gratitude and fidelity in a beast, decreed that both should receive their liberty.

(Parable)

THE GARDEN FENCE

It was my neighbour, an unassuming quite type of guy who is always very helpful. It was a conversation we were having in
our back gardens about how we were going to landscape our own back gardens.

We got talking over a few beers and we’d designed the most luxurious and tropical gardens you cold imagine. When the
topic of fencing came up my knowledge of property law didn’t seem to qualify me for any favours. We had an oblong garden
and each specific boundary was the responsibility of differing neighbours.

As we looked down our back garden we were only responsible for the left hand 8 foot privet. The bottom boundary was the
responsibility of the guy on the next road running parallel and the right hand boundary was the responsibility of the
neighbour I was talking to.

At that moment in time he’d re-mortgaged his house to produce some funds to make a few alterations to his house; this was
to include within his budget a new fence on our joint boundary.

The type of fencing he’d chosen was admirable. I’d offered loosely to make a contribution in payment towards the cost of
the fencing but he was having none of it. While he was a little flush with funds he was the king of his own manor and didn’t
need a contribution. I withdrew my mental intention gracefully but meant it nonetheless.

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We’d had the beauty of the fence for about a year when the neighbour had an accident at work. He was self employed and
therefore unable to earn any money for a few weeks until his recovery.

I put my offer of a contribution into a sealed envelope and passed it to him as I came from work one evening. I said, “I’d
offered this towards the fence but you’d refused it at the time.” He answered it the way I expected by refusing it again. But I
looked at him straight in the eye and said, “It is my turn to make a gesture of goodwill. Please accept it.”

I’d obviously said it with some determination as he almost quivered in his boots and said nothing. We went on our way that
evening and did our own thing. The matter was never raised again in conversation, which in itself was gratitude for my own
gratitude. A good deed returned!

(Andy Bolton)

I am constantly in search of stories and quotes that relate to happiness. This next story and quote are so closely linked they
could have happened at the same time. I have found that bizarre until I realized that’s how is should be.

The story is an excellent plot, yet the quote was initially questionable. Until of course you relate it to gratitude. If you offer
gratitude, you’ll receive a smile in return.

Because we all want to experience happiness more often, we may be confused as to why others are so happy when we are
not. There maybe people across the room laughing or perhaps we see an elderly couple who are just sat on the park
bench, not talking, but smiling. Why?

Give and you shall receive... Offer sincere thanks and gratitude for every little mercy.

This is one that affects us all no matter what our profession in life is. We sometimes make assumptions in life, and we
sometimes do not even realize the impact we have on people - this story will make you stop and think.

GASPING FOR BREATH

Two sisters, two brothers and a father; my mother died in 1990. I’m one of the brothers.

My younger sister although a tad overweight has always been in and out of good health; she’s now 43 and been rushed into
hospital gasping for breath.

I heard the news about 5pm from my younger brother. I asked him if he was going to visit her that evening in the hospital. “I
can’t make it tonight, but I’ll try tomorrow night.”

I’m not sure what to make of that comment. As I arrived home my elder sister had rung to tell me of the same news. I rang
her back and said that I was going up to the hospital. My elder sister actually worked at the hospital and had already visited
twice during the day. Although to my surprise she said she’d come with me and visit again; two different reactions within the
same half hour from my very own family.

As we arrived at the hospital ward my younger sister was gasping for breath and being taken by wheel chair off for a scan
of her chest. She looked distressed and seriously poorly. She looked in pain and too tired with the whole experience to see
who was at her bedside.

It was clear a comment or a spoken word wasn’t going to mean a jot as she was wheeled off. I stretched passed the nurse
and touched my sister on the arm and squeezed it just a little. Her head turned and all she felt like doing was nod in
acknowledgement.

She came back from the scan and was still gasping for breath. It all calmed down after she arrived back, her breathing
settled down to a small gasp ever so often. Her initial panic was now over; as the results of the scan would be back soon.

Where was my father I thought? Apparently he’d been contacted and said that he’d get tomorrow.
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I felt a little ashamed of my family but I can recall some time ago that I’d not been able to pick my own father up from the
hospital when he visited as an outpatient. He finished up taking a taxi. If I recall I was too busy with something that
prevented me from finding the time to escort my own father home.

As much as I was judging my family for not being there on the first night my younger sister was in hospital; I’d done a
similar claim of being too busy some years earlier.

It would appear that we make strange decisions when we are in different emotions. Yesterday when I visited my younger
sister I must have been in a happier mood. I only hope today when I phone up to see her condition that the scan has
identified the problem and it can be treated.

I can’t end this little story with any news of my sister but an acknowledgement that your emotional state of mind is such a
governing factor on whether you’re too busy to see a relative in hospital.

Let’s hope that I stay happy for the rest of my life!

(Richard Annesley, a concerned relative)

QUOTE: “The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.” (Al Batt, from the National Enquirer)

Giving
QUOTE: “If you want to be poor, grasp; if you want to be rich, give.” (Robert Holden)

There is no loss by giving. Giving is to receive. If giving has a price it is not giving. If you give to get, then the gift is not as
valuable. Giving with no strings attached allows the greatest possibility of receiving some time in the future.

Happiness is making the best of what you’ve got. Until you can honestly see that adding more doesn’t necessarily increase
your long-term happiness; then in making the best of what you’ve got, you’ll realize that you create a new skill that will in
itself be priceless.

In this game of life it appears that we are all dealt with cards. All of us receive these throughout our life. We then have
choices to make. Our emotional state determines how good those choices are. So it would seem prudent to keep our
emotional state slightly undulating rather than like a raging sea.

This next story is humorous, but it has a huge depth of philosophy and wisdom within it.

Wise people give and don’t expect to receive. Instant happiness can be created by giving, as long as it is given with the
emotion of love. Imagine of course that some people drink, shop or spend needlessly to introduce some happiness, all you
need to do once you have tapped into this big secret is GIVE. Not money, not necessarily gifts, but just give; you’ll know
what to give when the time arrives! This would be an exercise you’d need to have first hand experience of before you’d
accept the theory.

This next story isn’t exactly full of wisdom in every sentence, but it has a theme. It is a case of understanding the plot rather
than every sentence. Nevertheless I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

LEARNING THROUGH EXPERIENCE

I've learned that if I’m one of two people under scrutiny, I must allow myself to become the better person.

I've learned that children and grandparents can enjoy each others time, contrary to my previous thoughts.

I've learned that when I’m suffering from aches and pains, I should not transfer that anguish to others.
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I've learned that saying nothing can be more powerful than saying the wrong thing.

I've learned that if you pursue wealth, it will elude you. But if you pursue happiness a multitude of wealth’s find you.

I've learned that friendships have great value; and only when they’re gone do you realize this.

I've learned that you can't hide anger behind the truth.

I've learned that through a person’s inefficiency, the greater their need to cast blame on others.

I've learned that getting a second chance follows being grateful for getting a first.

I've learned that your ego is a different character, especially if you feed it what it wants.

I've learned that smiling enhances your attractiveness to others.

I've learned that making decisions when you’re angry only results in further anger.

I've learned that singing aloud when I’m alone can lift my spirits beyond all expectations.

I've learned that you can make someone's day by simply communicating with them in some way.

I've learned that if you want to get back to being happy, the quickest route is by making someone else happy first.

I've learned that those who are fully attentive respond to a smile, those who are not frown and walk the opposite way.

I've learned that you can learn a lot about a person’s character by the way they deal with traffic; whichever way they deal
with it is the way they will deal with you should a potential argument arise.

I've learned that whenever I decide something in happiness I most certainly make the right decision.

I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, ask them if they really understand and if they don’t
find time to explain.

I've learned that earning money to do the good things in life is not the same as making a good life.

I've learned that everyone should trust more in their instinct and intuition.

I've learned that love is not expressed easily by some people; we need to help them express their feelings.

I've learned that every day you should positively affect someone’s life; this maybe just a short conversation or a heart to
heart communication.

I've learned that expressing your own love for life will indirectly manifest in other people’s souls.

I've learned that the more I claim the less I know.

I've learned that there is a lot out there I still don’t know.

(Terence Bocking)

QUOTE: “Only a brave person is willing to honestly admit, and fearlessly to face, what a sincere and logical mind
discovers.” (Rodan of Alexandria)

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Giving is arguably the best aspect of KARMA. For what you give you shall receive.

Relax
Relaxing has a similar meaning to ‘rest’. To clarify I would suggest that to rest could mean sleep, and to relax means to stop
and contemplate.

I would hesitate to say to stop and think, as thinking implies dreaming which can incur enough effort to make one tired on its
own.

When one slows down the process of thought within the mind you would imagine the cogs within an engine coming
gradually to a halt. Yet I would suggest this image is the wrong direction to take.

In wisdom the pause, or the action of relaxing doesn’t slow down the mind but allows the mind to work more efficiently.
Instead of the cogs slowing down, under an apparent ‘load’ from all the activity, the cogs actually speed up but with a
silence as apposed to a mechanical loudness.

To improve our happiness we must introduce this ‘pause’ into our schedule many times in the day where we officially relax.
This in turn improves the efficiency of the mind; which again in turn increases the likelihood of happiness.

PERFECT PEACE WITHIN

Perfect peace? I asked for perfect peace and what do I get? A picture of a storm!? Nonsense! What was the artist thinking
of…" The king felt a storm of anger rising within his belly - the effrontery of one of his subjects - to disobey him so openly.
To cool his temper, he looked at the next painting.

"Now this painting here, that’s what I call peaceful! A calm lake, some beautiful mountains reflected in it. Oh and that
magnificent sky, with just a touch of puffy little clouds. What artistry, what serenity, what…”

The king moved on to the next painting in his huge exhibition gallery. All the best artists of his kingdom and abroad had
entered his competition to depict “perfect peace” and win the coveted position of Royal Court Painter.

Gazing at a serene pastoral painting, the king found himself thinking again - "This is indeed a peaceful scene, but somehow
it doesn’t help me feel peaceful." His mind returned to pondering the picture of the storm. Had he missed something, or was
the artist a practical joker? He walked back to that first painting to have another look.

Lightning flashed on the bare crags of the mountains, knifing into a dark and furious sky. Foaming waters gashed the dark
gullies as they thundered into the flooding river. The king found his gaze following the line of the largest torrent from its
source downwards.

He peered closely at the painting. A smile spread across his face. There, in the heart of the raging waters, growing from a
cracked rock was a delicate shrub shielding a nest. Unaffected by the violent surroundings was a small bird sitting calmly in
its nest.

The king knew he had a winner.

(Eastern Parable)

There is an assumption that we all know the meaning of stress, as we experience it on a regular basis. However one aspect
of stress that remains different is the cause. What may make one person stressful may not even give another a twinge.

So in trying to address the subject of how to ‘lessen stress’ there isn’t a need to try to explain how to manage your money
properly for example, but trying to encourage a process for spotting stress developing.

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When you are experiencing a moment of stress you are in a negative emotion. All that is likely to come out of a negative
emotion is further negative actions. Your decisions are wild, ruthless and definitely threatening your future sanity.

If you have too much work to do at your place of employment you’ll probably be doing most of it during your sleep. Your
night will be restless and as a consequence you’ll wake up tired; not an ideal solution to face a further day of stress.

Here is a paragraph from a recent medical report…

“Stress can rot your brain” (By Dr. Trisha Macnair)

“Could stress be to blame for your health problems? Alongside hormones and viruses, it's one of the most common
scapegoats for our unexplained symptoms. In the past stress has often been dismissed as irrelevant but now scientists are
discovering that it can do very real damage. Some suggest it may even rot your brain, harming vital brain function and
leaving you vulnerable to mental illness like depression.”

It is with that paragraph we can see the intensity of the subject.

Here is a question that a doctor would receive from their patient, “The stress I encounter in my life is creating a negative
mediocre mindset which has permeated other aspects of my life. I feel deeply dissatisfied and I’m not enjoying myself. I am
also in the habit of blaming others or external circumstances when things didn't go my way.”

Stress, if allowed, can become a controlling factor and dominate your whole life.

Imagine a pair of hands within your stomach that grasp your internal organs, and for every bout of stress those hands
squeeze your organs. If you allow these hands to squeeze too often the organs will become bruised and damaged;
eventually they’ll fail and cause an illness. We could all argue the relevance of that comment, but nonetheless it feels a
good analysis.

So how are we going to lessen stress?

The first step is to identify you are experiencing stress; you may have low self esteem, you maybe experiencing family
problems, work problems, marital problems or physical concerns. Whatever the cause is, wisdom cannot wipe out the
cause but it can give you the tools to see clearly.

We can relate to the fact that stress creates an imbalance in our body. The medical explanation is that stress changes the
levels of steroid hormones and the chemical serotonin which can damage the areas of the brain controlling mood, emotion,
memory and motivation.

This is why we need to tackle stress and lessen its affect.

Making decisions whilst under the influence of a stressful situation will be poor, in other words your ability and skill is
overshadowed because the stress outweighs your capacity to cope.

The medical journals would suggest these practices:

1. sleep and rest - essential if you want to be able to face the stress of daily life;
2. a healthy diet, free from cigarettes, alcohol and stimulants such as caffeine;
3. regular exercise;
4. recognize the sources of stress in your life and find ways to cope better with them

Although all these explanations are relevant, wisdom would suggest de-stressing through contemplation which would give
you all these skills and more.

This contemplation would include exercises such as yoga and mediation.

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Unless you have already experienced these processes you’ll think them bizarre. Both of these exercises aim to improve the
efficiency of your body’s metabolism. In doing this we reduce the likelihood of stress.

Try a one minute meditation. Close your eyes; sit upright and allow all thoughts to be surrendered. As a thought arises
allow it to be forgotten. In one minute you may have to fight with 20 or 30 thoughts arising. As you practice this you’ll begin
to have fewer thoughts arise. Within a few practices you may get the minute to be 80% thought free.

What this achieves is a calmer state of mind. This has a ripple affect on your life. To make decisions in a clam state creates
less stress, as you deal with the situation with clarity instead of dullness of mind.

Rest
Rest can both be a cure and a symptom.

When it is a symptom it results in lethargy. Lethargy is an emotion that encourages a negative behaviour. When we are
negative we make poor decisions.

On the other hand however when our body is overworked it require rest to regenerate. If we are tired our decisions are
poor. These decisions can either be to work more as a form of self punishment or to commence with actions that do not
sow good seeds

WHEN TIRED

A student once asked his teacher, "Master, what is enlightenment?"

The master replied, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep."

(A Zen Story)

If there is ever a split second in any one day that we experience harmony it is when we wake up. Within a few seconds of
becoming awake all our life seems to flood back into our mind.

Not I may add that such a comment makes ‘resting’ any more worthy, other than if we truly are in search of happiness we
need to cultivate a peaceful circumstance should we be able to achieve it.

Resting calms down the activity within the mind. It allows the mind to categorize and prioritize our actions with greater
accuracy. If we have a well planned day our chance of happiness improves.

THE HORSE AND THE LITTLE BURRO

In the days of the great western cattle ranches, a little burro would sometimes be harnessed to a wild horse. The two would
then be turned loose together onto the desert range. Bucking and raging, the wild horse would drag and pull the little burro,
throwing him like a bag of feed.

In several days, however, the two would return. The little burro would be seen first, trotting back toward the ranch with the
submissive steed in tow.

Somewhere out of the wild, the horse would become exhausted in trying to free itself of the burro. In that moment, the burro
became the master of the two. The slow, patient, unimportant animal became a leader over the faster, and more volatile,
and more prized one.

Patient, committed, methodical, and hardworking people may find themselves the brunt of abuse from those who are more
rambunctious in the workplace. But in the end, they tend to accomplish more, rise higher, and win greater respect from their
colleagues and those who work under them.
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Choose to be patient and quietly determined today, and tomorrow will reward you.

"Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet".

(American Folktale)

Making goals and making plans are best done with a clam mind as we can make them more achievable. When we are
negative we tend to extend the boundary of our intention and expect more than we can realistically achieve.

The following day or week we can expect nothing less than disappointment for making our goals beyond our capability.

A clear mind that is calm can project a better future that is attainable. Allow this next story explain the power of a steady
mind who understand his bodily limits.

STILL MAKING PROGRESS

He was an 85 year old wise man and he was still reading the scriptures and the philosophies of the past. “Why are you still
reading these books, surely you know their content?” I said.

“You would think that is so true! But there are hidden pieces of wisdom I didn’t spot in earlier readings. If I for one minute
thought I knew everything my life’s work would be done. I enjoy reading the same philosophies, but more importantly
reading the same principles written with a new author’s interpretation.” Which he responded with, along with a smile.

“Yes I guess that would be your answer. But in such readings and the relevant new pieces of wisdom you acquire, what
places do they have when they are in areas of philosophy you’ve covered in your younger years?” I asked inquisitively.

The wise man answered, "Because I think I'm making progress."

“Progress towards what?” I quizzed the wise man.

He answered, “In every aspect of life they are unanswered questions. Imagine a scientist for example; they would need
evidence before they can assimilate a resolution. A wise man need only KNOW so that he can answer questions from his
inquisitors. A good and useful answer will have energy, enthusiasm and understanding to direct the questioner where he
needs to go next. If there is one aspect of our conversation you should remember it is, to make that your goal; make a little
progress every day of your life.”

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Love and its Communication

Wherever you find love you will find happiness. Wherever you find happiness you will find love.

Both of these subjects work hand in hand.

Too many people when asked to explain their idea of happiness would describe it as pleasure after pleasure after pleasure.
This fuels the power of DESIRE, which will eventually lead to sadness.

The more mature elder people amongst the readers will change their view of what happiness IS, as they age through life.
Perhaps in their twenties for example may describe happiness as luxuries, expensive house and car and parties most
nights of the week.

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When people are asked the same question in their sixties, they would say to be free from pain and to be with their family
and those that they love. This is the evidence to help substantiate a remarkable transformation of how we think; from
people prioritizing material objects in their earlier life to finer qualities in their elder years.

What if people when asked that question responded with, “The only way I’ll get happiness is to have my own paradise
island and have slaves to do all my work!” In effect they are saying that they don’t expect to have any happy moments in
the near future and are not even planning for any.

Happiness is to smile at your children, to inhale the fresh air as you open the kitchen window in the morning, to see a flower
bloom in the summer sun. If you can capture the small insignificant moments, you’ll broaden your foundation for happiness
to build upon.

We cannot communicate love if we at first don’t qualify what love means to each and everyone.

This next story illustrates how we so often throw into conflict what we believe to be true. Two different people can see a
different truth within the same object.

THE BLUE AND RED COAT

The village nestled in the dense African jungle. Life was slow and leisurely and very little changed from day to day, year to
year. There were two people who exemplified the harmony of the village. They had been best friends for forty years and
lived in two houses on the opposite side of the central street. These friends had never quarreled. All their lives, they loved
the same songs, the same food, the same hobbies. The village also had a notorious trickster who was determined to make
them fight. He pondered for a long time how to make them disagree with each other. It was going to be a difficult task
because they saw everything the same way.

After many hours of thought, he devised a devilish plan. He made a coat that was different on each side. On one side it
was blue, on the other it was red. He walked one way down the street wearing the coat every day. At the end of the road he
took off the coat and hid it in a bag. Later he made his way, with coat hidden, back to his house.

After a few days he left the coat at home and went to the first neighbor: "Did you see a strange man come by here wearing
a strange coat?"

"Yes, actually I did,” said the man. “He passed by for several days and I was wondering why."

The trickster, who had only exposed the blue side of his coat to the man, said, "Yes. And wasn't it an awful garish red he
was wearing?"

"Red? No. It was blue."

"No, no. Your eyes should be fixed. He was wearing red. You should ask your neighbor across the road."

The other friend was only exposed to the red side of the coat, so of course when the first neighbor asked him what was the
color of the strange man’s coat, the neighbor replied that it was red.

"No, said the first friend. “It was blue."

The two friends had never disagreed before. Not in all their forty years. The sensation was new and it frightened them.
Something was wrong with the universe. They always agreed with each other about everything. It was part of how they
always knew they were right. Now, each friend thought the other was crazy. Each friend wanted desperately for the other
man to agree with him. They had relied on each other to agree about everything their whole lives. Not agreeing with each
other was scary. Soon their fear became anger. The men began hitting each other. Hitting became wrestling, right in the
middle of the main street of town.

"The coat was red!" shouted one.

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"It was blue!" shouted the other.

"No, no. Your eyes should be fixed. He was wearing red."

"I have witnesses. My family saw it. He was wearing blue."

"Nonsense. He was wearing red."

And on, and on.

The trickster's plan was successful. He had made the two friends see the same event differently. And they had fought. Soon
folks in the village who had not seen the man in the coat were taking sides, and they too were fighting. Only the trickster
knew the truth - that they were each half-right.

(African Folktale)

QUOTE: “For all the happiness mankind can gain Is not in pleasure, but in rest from pain. (John Dryden)

This quote also suggests an opposite view of the same situation. Instead of saying that a cup is half empty, implying a
negative we could say the cup is half full suggesting a positive.

Communication cum expression is an area fraught with trauma. We can only express what we think we see or feel. So
therefore is we are overcome with that little demon upon our shoulder called the ‘ego’; if it dominates our emotion, we’ll
struggle to express what we can’t truly uncover.

The best advice in such situations is to start slowly. The next time you see love and all its finery, that triggers a reaction,
speak it. It maybe just a beautiful flower that gives you a joyous loving feeling towards nature; speak it! Say words or take
action that express that love. If your own children, your wife, your husband, your partner, a family member, friend or
colleague take an action that provokes a loving reaction then allow an embrace or comment that speaks of that love.

If you practice regularly by responding with small communications you’ll be preparing yourself for a better future of
expressing love.

LOVE
In a world where we are not understood properly, but yet... everyone demands understanding; creates a strange
phenomenon, especially in love. This scenario has a tendency to suggest that our efforts to improve personal and
professional relationships appearing worthless.

Why give so much LOVE if we don't get any back?

Maybe a BIG question, but any answer other than giving LOVE in its fullest form could only be the result of the negative
emotion we rest in at that moment in time.

If we feel resentment, an anger, pain or frustration, we must not allow these to tarnish our spirit. Few people will remember
how glorious we had been yesterday; they only readily remember our last action. We must therefore GIVE what we can at
that moment in time and not selfishly withdraw it.

The term 'bitter and twisted' springs to mind as a colloquial term for being angry about a family member's behaviour. You
must lead by example and not be lead by the crowd...

QUOTE: "If there is no obvious path to take, as not every situation is the same; be prepared to build your own path. If that
path is a TRUE path, there will be a KNOWING and not confusion." (Wisdom and Philosophy.com)
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QUOTE: “Fear is the absence of love, just as darkness is the absence of light.” (Dr. Eric Pearl)

This next story, although amusing has a few points that will illustrate how poverty can mirror the effect of ‘no love.’

THE POOREST MAN

One day a monk left his ashram and went out to the main street of the city, jiggling a few copper coins in the palm of his
hand. As the beggars thronged around him, he announced that he would only give the coins to the poorest man in the city.
As the demanding hands pressed him from all sides, he kept saying, “No, it is not you—not you—not you,” and he
continued walking.

Suddenly the fanfare of trumpets obscured the noise of the city. Guards hurried down the street to clear away the riff-raff,
and proclaimed that the Maharaja was coming out of his palace on his royal elephant.

The people lined the street with eager anticipation to make their obeisance to their king, but the monk stepped in front of the
elephant, and, addressing the king in a loud voice, said, “O Great Maharaj! I have something for you.” And he tossed the
copper coins to the king. The king was astounded and demanded to know why the monk was being so impertinent.

“Your majesty, I made a vow that today I would give this copper coin to the poorest man in the city.”

“Me!?” screamed the king. “I own this city! I own this whole country! How can you say that I am the poorest man?”

“Because you have constant hunger for more possessions.”

(Eastern Parable)

QUOTE: “Poverty,” as Plato said, “consists, not in the decrease of one’s possessions, but in the increase of one’s greed.”

QUOTE: "Anything sown from the seeds of LOVE can only cultivate more love. Trying to resolve an issue in LOVE whereas
a resentful attitude will lead you into turmoil." (Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "I have always struggled to achieve excellence. One thing that cycling has taught me is that if you can achieve
something without a struggle it's not going to be satisfying." (Greg LeMond, Cyclist, 3 Times Winner of the Tour de France)

GLITTER, GLUE AND STICKERS

We are all aware of the Christmas stories where children spend more time playing with the cardboard box rather than the
present. This of course makes you think that the money you’ve spent on the present hasn’t been so well planned after all.

Although we know of this fundamental principal we continue trying to impress our children with expensive gifts on their
birthday and Christmas; alongside this principal sits the cliché ‘It’s not the size or the cost of the gift itself, but the thought
that counts’. Somewhere amongst all that generous consideration we’ve given our children, the end result is often not the
one we wanted.

If we ever flipped that consideration to our children we forget the time and effort they put in to make us gifts and cards for
special occasions. If it is Daddy’s or Mommy’s birthday the other parent gets their children to spend an afternoon making up
a special card that’s full of glitter, glue and stickers. When we receive that card we are very grateful but forget the effort our
children must have taken to make it.

If we were honest we’d spend ten minutes getting their birthday card. Perhaps on reflection we may get them a big card,
suggesting that big is better; and that the size of the card resembles the amount of love we have for the receiver of the
card. It is no surprise then that when you get a birthday card off your children they make it out of a huge piece of card.

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This brings me around to telling you of a situation that my own daughter provided not too long ago. I’d become very
disappointed with her over a particular lie she’d told to get her off the hook. I’d visibly look disgusted and threatened to cut
off her supply of fun until she’d made a confession.

She was adamant of her innocence so the whole process took about a month to be resolved. She eventually apologized
and things returned immediately to normal. To be quite honest the apology was weak and insincere, but nonetheless it was
accepted.

What was frustrating however was that she’d spent one afternoon designing a ‘card of apology’. It had glitter, glue and
stickers. It was a heartfelt effort from my daughter to explain her inner emotional state and how sorry she was offending my
pride and strong moral principals.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that this card was the apology. I didn’t need to drag the unpleasant circumstances out
for longer.

What brings a tear to my eye now is that I threw the card away from my desk, when that card resembled the biggest
apology I’m ever likely to get off my daughter in my whole life. I demanded that she apologized with spoken words which
turned out to be a few seconds of weak insincerity.

Sometimes we look for proof of love with words, when actions can add up to twice the value.

I threw the card away because I hadn’t got the space within my desk to keep it. What a moment of weakness; all because
she had to apologize in the way I wanted.

The moment I get my next glitter, glue and sticker card I’m making room within my desk! It will be an apology or a birthday
gift I can treasure. Each time I look at such cards the story behind them become priceless.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Apologize
How valuable is an apology?

To utter an apology may mean very little to you, but to the accepter of that apology it could mean the world.

A polite individual may offer an apology whether he or she has or has not made a mistake; and in doing this the effort is
small but the result is tremendous.

For a happy environment make sure that all mistakes are given the appropriate apology. Plus try making a few apologies
when responsibility cannot be identified.

Love and hate lie close together but only because of selfishness.

Every person experiences hate towards the ones they love at some point, but if you analyze the reason why you hate you’ll
identify the reason as being selfish. The very reason you experience hate is because events haven’t gone YOUR way!

You may argue the point at the time it is happening and somehow find a justification for poor behaviour, but the analysis will
provide the answer. You’ll probably kick yourself knowing that the reason why hate dominates your thoughts.

If you sense that the emotion of hate is building up within your system try starting a sentence as thus:

“I apologize for this but I sense a feeling of hate developing and if I don’t present this to you now and discuss its resolution, I
know for sure it will multiply in its strength.”

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Once spoken the flood gates of conversation will allow the matter/difficulty causing the hate to be discussed within a calmer
state of mind. The subject of conversation will still remain difficult, but the power of resolution will be easier than allowing
the hatred to fester.

QUOTE: “Many people believe that pastures new are when happiness and love can be found, but this belief is rarely true.
You are where you are because you’ve built the foundation. Don’t go knocking down the house because you’ve laid a brick
wrong.” (Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

THE HOUSE ACROSS THE VALLEY

We all seem to envy those who appear wealthier, we want; we desire to have what they have. This is a common
occurrence within our society; it is an emotion that we have all been familiar with at some point in our life.

I live on a valley where the summers are hot, but there is enough rain to keep the trees remaining green and beautiful.

I must have been about seven years old when I noticed across the valley a house that looked so beautiful I wanted to live
there instead of my own house. I mentioned it to my father and he gave me a short smile and said that perhaps one day we
might.

I can recall mentioning this house on many occasions because the morning sun made the house look so desirable.

I must have been about ten years old when my father had taken enough of this desire of mine so we packed a picnic and
took a hike across the valley. It seemed to take forever!

As we approached the gate for the house, which was at the bottom of a long winding driveway I noticed the house for sale. I
said, “Daddy have you brought me here so that can buy the house?”

“No!” He said in an all knowing type voice.

I remembered specifically that my father had checked his watch on many occasions. It seemed to have no importance to
me when I was only ten years old, but it only confirmed to me that perhaps he’d made an appointment to view the house.

We hurried up the driveway to what I can only describe as a complete disappointment. The house had not been lived in for
years. The paint was coming off the doors and windows, the lawn was overgrown, weeds had taken over the potentially
pretty borders of the garden and their swing was all rusty. For me as a ten year old it was a disenchantment of a dream I
had as I stare at this beautiful house across the valley.

My father explained to me that not everything is as it seems. He told me to look across the valley once more and consider if
any other house looked impressive. The sun shone on one particular house, “That’s the one Daddy, can we visit that one?”

“Sure we can,” he remarked in an all knowing voice.

We kept passing gates and driveways and my father said, “The one you pointed out had a big conifer at the bottom of the
lawn.”

We eventually reached home and I was disappointed with my Daddy.

“Why are you sulking?” he asked.

“I thought you were taking me to the house that I’d pointed out,” I responded frustratingly.

“But I am! The house you pointed out that looked so beautiful from the other side of the valley is our own house.” My father
said in that all knowing voice. He continued, “There it is the huge conifer at the bottom of the lawn.”

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I was gob smacked! Fancy that I thought; the whole time I wanted to live in a better house because I thought they all looked
pretty, I was already living in the prettiest house in the valley.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “We have to understand that the world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation. The hand is more
important than the eye...The hand is the cutting edge of the mind.” (Jacob Bronowski)

An apology can be a question of ethics. Do we apologize and accept being the failure? Many firmly believe that such
acceptance is a sign of failure. Be assured that apologizing is a sign of strength.

Allow this next story to illustrate how using such ethics can have a positive effect on your life.

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

“I’m not apologizing for something I did on the spur of the moment!” I exclaimed.

The more I dwelled on the situation the more I believed that an apology wasn’t going to happen.

That was two years ago. Today I’ve just met my seventeen year old daughter for the first time in two years.

A brief recap of the story leading up to this event is thus; I split up from my husband when my daughter was just two years
old and brought up my daughter as a single parent to the age of fifteen.

I didn’t prevent my daughter seeing her father at weekends and at holiday time, so I naturally thought I was being the
unselfish mother. But I can tell you those two years have been hell. When she left at fifteen I could only hear about my own
daughter through friends and family who saw her living with her father; she’d run off from living with me because I couldn’t
apologize.

I’d slapped her across the face for some misdemeanor that perhaps she’d deserved, but the one thing I’d forgotten was that
she’d also deserved an apology for my outrage.

Two years is a long time for a seventeen year old and for a mother. I will remember in the future the value of an apology.

(Sharon Chatham)

When you run your life on a high emotion you will suffer the consequences. An apology can dissolve the tension
surrounding an argument. You can apologize for your emotional outbreak, if at first you find it difficult to apologize for your
comments or your actions.

Love Yourself – but not from the ego

Following the principle of ‘love thyself to love others’; we must realize that to look at yourself is an important step forward in
improving your own level of acceptance. If for example you think you ‘lack’ in a certain area such as charisma, you’ll push
away love, barricade out the chance of joy, sabotage success and prevent the chance of happiness staying around for long.
Self acceptance multiplies the clarity of your perception.

Allow this next story illustrate how anger can prevent ‘seeing’ the right and true version of your perception.

THE MISSING AXE

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Once upon a time a man couldn’t find his axe. He suspected his neighbor's son because the boy walked like a thief, looked
like a thief, and spoke like a thief. The following morning the man found his axe when he remembered where he left it. The
next time he saw his neighbor's son, the boy walked, looked, and spoke like any other child.

(Ancient tale by Lao-tzu)

Those who want to self improve believe in the ethics of discipline and ‘hard work’. Self acceptance is not work at all; just
understanding.

Love is such a complex subject. It is said that before you can love others, you must first love yourself. You must respect
and admire your own actions, not to fuel your ego, but to make you credible.

When you see this love, you can then offer an equal to others.

Upon my study of anger, I found that 95% of the time anger is self inflicted. That is so when you are angry at someone, you
were first angry at yourself.

Love is exactly the same. If you sense your love is fading, first look at yourself and correct and tweak your own actions.

If you could avoid expectations in love, you’ll be surprised at how frequent love repays your own endeavours.

Imagine a few blissful hours with your children in the park. You’ve bonded a little more. You walk home alongside the
supermarket and see and old lady struggling with her shopping. You have no hesitation; you tell the children to hold on a
moment until you’ve helped pack the shopping in the car boot for this lady.

You return home and your partner has cooked the perfect meal, the house is tidy, the dining table set for a banquet.
The children flitter through the house, find a seat to rest their tired body and sit quietly reading or watching television.

That may or may not be the perfect ending to a few hours play in the park, but it was if someone was watching.

The love you gave your children in the park, made you alert enough to see the lady struggling at the supermarket, whereas
another day you’d have missed it. Your partner another day may well have been on the phone when you arrived back and
flustered with the daily chores.

If you give it, you’ll receive it back! If you live in a world of lies, you’ll only ever dream of love…

We often allow our ego to control our thoughts and almost decide upon our opinion of certain subjects. What we need to do
is to understand that there is always more than one view of a situation. Allow this next story put into perspective how often
you take the wrong view of your own love for yourself.

WHO OWNS THE CAT?

Four friends in India decided to go into business together. After many discussions, they finally struck upon the idea of
importing bales of cotton. Putting their modest savings together, they rented a big warehouse and began importing bales of
cotton for resale to local retailers.

Business was good, and they had never enjoyed each other’s company so much. But one day they discovered that
many bales of cotton had been ruined by mice.

“Something has to be done!”

“Let’s get a cat.”

“Yes, good idea! Let us invest in the greatest mouse-hunter.”

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They bought a cat and let him loose in the warehouse. Within weeks the problem was resolved and the cotton was saved.
They were so grateful to the cat that they started to lavish upon him extraordinary care and honor. There was just one
small problem: a cat has only so many needs or surface areas to lavish gifts on.

“I have already put a collar on him. He doesn’t need another one.”

“You call that a collar? That cheap domestic stuff—it’ll break in no time. Now look at this fine Persian embroidered…”

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of these silly fights between you about who loves kitty the most. A cat has four legs, and there
are four of us. We’ll take one each.”

The new arrangement worked out beautifully. Each owner would lavish extra care on that particular leg. They would
massage it, comb it, de-flea it, buy it a pretty little booty… The cat did not seem to mind receiving so much attention.

One fateful day, the cat fell from a tree and hurt one of its legs. As it limped pitifully back into the warehouse, the four
friends rushed to its side.

“That’s my leg”, shouted the owner of that limb, “Let me bandage it.”

“Is it going to be OK?” asked the anxious friends.

“Don’t worry. Of course my leg will be alright.” He tenderly bandaged the sore limb. “There, as good as new. He will resume
his duties in no time.”

Soon the cat started hunting again. Over time, the end of the bandage came loose and one night, as the cat was sleeping
by the fireplace, a spark jumped out and lit the loose bandage. Terrified, the cat ran helter-skelter through the warehouse,
setting all the bales of cotton on fire.

The friends had lost everything.

“It’s your fault! It’s your leg that burned the entire stock!” the three friends furiously shouted at the hapless owner. “You must
compensate us for our loss!”

“Are you out of your minds?” the man replied. “I lost everything too, you know…”

Their argument turned to blows, and they were all arrested and brought before the king.

“If I understand correctly,” the king wearily addressed the three plaintiffs, “your partner’s share of the cat caused the whole
warehouse to burn down, and therefore he should reimburse you.”

“Yes, yes great Maharaj, exactly! We are so glad to see that your majesty agrees with us.”

“Actually… without the three healthy legs, the cat could never have run into the warehouse and set fire to the stock. It is
your three legs that are guilty. I therefore order you three to reimburse him!”

(Eastern Philosophy)

APPLY THE TRUTH AND THE BLISS WILL FOLLOW

If you convince yourself that a lie has truth you are already on the wrong track. What if you’ve already convinced yourself
that you’ve donated enough money to charity this year and its only February? It may not be a lie but it will limit any further
donations.

Imagine that you are a helpful and generous person. This very imagery is a limiting factor. If you state that you are helpful
and generous the chances are you’ll not make very many gestures to substantiate this.
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Words are limiting if you can’t express your correct feelings. What you should be saying is that, “I must be more helpful and
generous.” This will alone allow your subconscious mind to encourage more activity to fulfill this goal. Claiming you are
already at the pinnacle of helpfulness and giving suggests you’ve done enough for now.

Expressing yourself isn’t difficult if you express the truth. Your ego has a lot to do with the words that come out of your
mouth. Within your mind you want to say, “I must try harder,” but your mouth will say, “I’ve done enough!”

Search for the truth within your mind and attempt to express it word for word. Applying such truth will allow the bliss to
follow.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: “I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling the truth than adore me for telling
you lies.” (Pietro Aretino).

Loving yourself from your ego gives you a swagger, a false confidence, a knowing that you’re good, a big headedness or a
period of gloating on your SELF.

Loving yourself without the ego is a quick glance in the mirror, a moment of consideration about yourself or any other
instant view of YOU and the immediate reaction raises a smile or an acknowledging nod. Ask yourself, “Is everything fine
with the world?” If the answer is yes, your ego is controlling your pattern of thought. If you cannot answer or immediately
consider an area for improvement, then you’re operating with clarity; and love is present. If your consideration is longer that
a quick moment you are gloating

Joy of Service
QUOTE: "To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is
sincerity and integrity." (Douglas Adams, Writer)

The very title of this section suggests a bounty to be discovered. Few people realize the potential that ‘serving others’ has
upon the soul.

QUOTE: “Service doesn't start when you have something to give. It occurs naturally when you have nothing left to take.”
(Nipun)

QUOTE: “Happiness lies in accepting life. That moment of pure acceptance gives birth to a flame of compassion that is not
about getting, wanting, or wishing, but rather about the most sincere simplicity – a simplicity of the heart that knows no
fears, feels no hatred, and manifests the purest spirit of service.” (Nipun)

QUOTE: "All the joy the world contains has come through wishing happiness for others. All the misery the world contains
has come through wanting pleasure for oneself." (Shantideva)

HAVING A BAD DAY

This title is more of a cliché, but nonetheless has a regular relevance in my life.

Too often, although I have a good command of wisdom, do I get caught up in a busy schedule at my place of work. Too
busy to even reorganize my day; I choose bizarrely to continue with the schedule and hope for the best.

This is done because my normal clarity is smothered with a dark cloud and my vision is obscured. This situation is a good
illustration for when the ‘having a bad day’ cliché will arise.

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The beauty is the recognition! If you notice that events are turning sour this is the time and opportunity to alter your
schedule. But as we are hot-headed we do not see this occasion to put events back on track.

This is the one saving grace that I’ve used all my business life; to use and apply the principle of the ‘Joy of Service’.

When events aren’t going according to plan I try to apply the principle. Amazingly such events receive their just rewards.

The moment you offer service your emotional balance is changed from a negative to a positive. You have tunnel vision
when negative, but when you’re positive the whole world is within your grasp.

Changing your emotional balance allows a flood of good inspiration and what appears to have been a probable ‘Bad Day’ is
turned around into a successful one.

It is all well and good hearing such a story but the truth of such a principle can only be witnessed through experience. You
are invited to try it out!

(Andy Bolton)

Abundance will come

Imagine for one moment the consequences of ACTION and REACTION. Unless you had become a wise person you would
rest in two different emotions. Action is generally a positive event and reaction a negative.

The one aspect of wisdom and philosophy that makes the biggest difference on sailing in and out of different emotions is
that of ‘attention’. If you are supremely present and stand with full attention, you have a better chance of dispelling the bad
that may approach.

Few people accept this view easily, but it is a case of practicing and noticing. First you must notice a moment when you
paid full attention. You will see miraculous results; upon this new found knowledge you need to practice the benefits.

When you are ‘awake’ more often the day becomes fuller. You become more efficient and what may have taken a day to
complete in the past will only take half a day.

I AM AWAKE

When the Buddha started to wander around India shortly after his enlightenment, he encountered several men who
recognized him to be a very extraordinary being.

They asked him, "Are you a god?"

"No," he replied.

"Are you a reincarnation of god?"

"No," he replied.

"Are you a wizard, then?"

"No."

"Well, are you a man?"

"No."

"So what are you?" they asked, being very perplexed.

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"I am awake."

Buddha means "The Awakened One". How to awaken is all he taught.

(Buddhist Parable)

QUOTE: “A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction."
(Rita Mae Brown, Author)

Know Your Strengths

Happiness and ultimately ‘self development’ has a lot to do with ‘accepting’ and ‘knowing’.

You may wonder why such a statement, when it appears so obvious?

What we do more often is ‘recognise’ and ‘think’. These are similar words but don’t have the clarity that makes us act with
purpose.

If we see a problem we recognise it is there but we don’t accept it. As for the answer to our problems; we think we have the
answer, we don’t always know it.

If you were giving a friend a direction to your Aunt Lucy, would you say, “I think she lives at number 22.” Would that give
your friend the confidence to knock on the door of 22?

Don’t think you have the answer, you must know it.

Positive actions follow acceptance. If you only recognise that you are overweight the actions that follow are not constructive
they’ll be half hearted and not fully positive. Acceptance gives you a different energy that recognising doesn’t.

NOBODY TOLD ME ANYTHING

A disciple asked his Dharma Master: "How can I calm my mind?"

The master said, "I am too busy to talk to you right now. Why not consult your First Dharma Brother?"

He did as he was told and asked the same question.

The First Dharma Brother said, "I have a headache. I can't talk now. Why not talk to Second Dharma Brother?"

But the Second Dharma Brother said, "I have a stomach ache, why don't you just go and talk to our Dharma Master?"

So he went back to his master and complained, "Nobody told me anything. Nobody gave me any answers."

But the master said to him reprovingly, "You really are a stupid fool. Everybody has been giving you the answer."

Because of this, the disciple reached enlightenment.

(Buddhist Story)

QUOTE: "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be
in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness." (Abraham Maslow, 1908-1970, Psychologist)

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Non-Attachment
This is an important principle! We can get far too attached to certain ideas and this can limit our progression towards
happiness.

If you attach yourself to… “I can’t remember names, I can’t spell very well, I’m not very good at math, I’m not good on the
history of our country, I’m not good at dieting, I’m always clumsy, I’m not good and ‘Do-It-Yourself’ jobs around the house,
I’m not good at cooking, I’ve never been good on the subject of love or any more of these frailties we encourage to develop
in our life. Then… there is a likelihood that’s how it is going to be for the rest of your life.

What we should do instead is to say, “I’ve not been good with names, but I am open to suggestions on how to remember
them better.” This allows our subconscious room for development rather than closing the door firmly shut.

Developing the self will always be a battle; not necessarily made up of layers and layers of ‘adding’ but more of ‘letting go’
of the outer layers; in this will be our ability to extend our boundaries of where happiness can plant seeds.

As we grow older our society encourages us to possess in order to gain.

I spoke to two retired people yesterday who were struggling re-organising their ‘will’. This would be their possessions
and how they would share them out to their offspring after their demise.

The struggle was immense as a complication of losing one of their daughters to cancer had caused concern for their
daughter’s share. The decision was simple in that it should go to her children. But the complex problem was how the others
may react knowing that the partner wasn’t being included in the new ‘will’.

Life it appeared was all about possessions, and the probable distaste that may arise from the partner.

The investment we make in our children shouldn’t be reliant on what we leave them when we die but what we give them
when we are alive. We could teach them important principles that will be of value in their life.

There isn’t a suggestion that we as adults should squander the savings and give none to our children, but a timely reminder
that there is more gratitude shown when they have knowledge rather than a handout.

MILAREPA’S LAST TESTAMENT

After the enlightened cave-yogi and songmaster, Milarepa, left this world, a scrap of rice paper was found inscribed with his
handwriting. His ascetic followers were astounded, for it stated that beneath a nearby boulder was buried all the gold that
ascetic Mila had hoarded during his life.

A few eager disciples dug around and under that large rock. In the earth they discovered a ragged cloth bundle. Opening
the knotted bundle with shaking hands, they discovered only a lump of dried horse manure.

There was another scribbled note as well. It said: "If you understand my teaching so little that you actually believed I ever
valued or hoarded gold, you are truly heirs to my horse manure."

The note was signed "The Laughing Vajra, Milarepa."

(Buddhist Story)

QUOTE: “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing,
it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do
it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning." (Mahatma Gandhi 1869-1948,
Indian Nationalist Leader)

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Self Discipline
To improve your level of wisdom you need MEASURE in your life. Without this organization you’re batting at a sticky wicket.
You’ll not move forward. Structure and a MEASURED existence are of paramount importance. This next excerpt explains
the one step that includes every step. If you believe that self discipline is required in life you are already a substantial way to
improving your happiness.

ONE STEP PLAN

Whilst splitting complex items into smaller parts is an essential aspect of ‘de-stressing’; in respect of self discipline there is
only one step.

You may wonder how one step can resolve all variations of self discipline. What if you needed to be disciplined to train for a
major athletics competition, wouldn’t that require a different methodology than such was needed for discipline in a diet?

We could argue the toss, but eventually there is one step that controls our discipline. We could strip the process down to its
bear minimum and suggest there were two steps, those two would be to KNOW and then to ACT.

But above those two steps there is one step.

The one step is to pay full attention in the present moment.

When in this higher function of the mind you KNOW and you know how to ACT. More importantly if you DO it rather than
consider it you’ll succeed. To DO something you know needs doing is positive, to allow for consideration is fine unless you
haven’t learnt how to grapple with your ego. The moment you take to consider your ego jumps in and convinces you to take
the easy way out.

Self discipline is only ever operated in the NOW, the present moment. You cannot operate self discipline in the past or the
future.

If you ever sense that your self discipline is going ‘off track’ sit and pause; allow the sense of ‘oneness’ to return. When
you’re going off track your ego is guiding the tour. Allowing such frequent pauses permits a steady balance to return.

To function with a 100% presence in the moment of NOW is the way forward. When you are fully aware you have every
conceivable human function at your disposal.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

MINDFUL PRACTICE

If you were told of 100 ways to improve happiness you’d scramble to read them, but in essence a few days later you will
have forgotten most of them. This is simply because their immediate relevance hasn’t grasped your attention suitably. If
however you were enlightened – allowed to understand the principle behind how and why our emotions ebbed and flowed,
your grasp of expression would naturally improve and as a direct consequence so would your view of which road to take to
greater happiness.

We are taught at school, college and university through strict guidelines, all of which have immense value; but anyone who
is a mature adult will admit that ‘self development’ was all self taught through a gradual process of understanding.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

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Right Diet
This subject is a book in itself and a short explanation may not be sufficient. I have contemplated long and hard in how to
explain this phenomenon and chose to do it this way…

I’ll describe two extremes…

Firstly I’ll describe a busy day. No doubt everyone has planned one of these into their schedule.

A busy day normally starts with a good degree of planning the evening before. In fact you probably extend the evening
before into the early hours of the morning. As a consequence of this you wake up late for the day, so you are already
starting off being an hour late.

It is here where all the poor decisions start to happen. You’ll skimp on breakfast and pack a strange lunch that has no
physical benefit.

You’ll drive to the office an escape a near accident. You’ll be late for the first meeting and blame the traffic.

The morning will steadily get worse as you make several poor decisions. All the planning and the expected clarity of mind
just will not exist.

Your lunch is eaten but offers no food for the mind.

Your afternoon follows that same pattern as the morning and you return home realizing that the days work was poor.

Diet wasn’t the only factor that contributed to the bad day, but it was an opportunity where the right food could have halted
the flow of poor decisions.

Rushing your food gives a poor mental signal. Eating unhealthily does not allow the food the feed your mind.

When, on a busy day, you need to have clarity of mind, to pause and eat your food in a specific allocated period of time will
allow the mind to regain its strength and the momentum it needs to restore its balance.

When we are in a rush we take easy ways out. We think we are saving time by accepting a quick snack but it does not
provide the right ingredients to regenerate a tired body.

Allow me to illustrate the same point with another extreme case. What happens when a nation is starving?

I can tell you one not so obvious answer. It makes the people tired. When they are tired the decisions they make are poor.
Instead of working as a team to establish some nourishment they fight for every scrap and grain of food that is available.
Proof I would hope that the RIGHT DIET contributes to our sanity.

Some in the medical profession promote that a good sense of humour is an essential ingredient to maintain a good
standard of health. Happiness is associated with a sense of well-being, which in turn is connected with a stronger immune
system; implying that should we fall ill we also stand a better chance of a quicker recovery.

So the right diet assists in aiding an improved bodily state, it makes us healthier. It also improves our state of mind; for
example heavy food seems to make us tired rather than energetic. A better physical body and an improved mental attitude
will lead to a happier persona.

A better diet leads to a healthier immune system as does being happy so eating better improves our life twofold.

As I conclude this section I’m aware how many find the word diet a complete ‘no go’ area. They may have tried several
diets before and not been suitably disciplined to follow it through. Here is my advice…

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Firstly don’t call it a diet; a diet implies something temporary. Call it eating healthier; words can have a huge difference in
your mental attitude.

Secondly I find the weakest link in not buying the right food is time. Allocate a little more time to shop; if you haven’t the
time to shop properly you’ll buy the same old stuff.

Finally allocate a few minutes to plan your shopping trip. Provide yourself with a shopping list.

Although I hear many people say that they are happy with their own shape and size; often behind closed doors there is a
disgust they don’t allow to surface in front of others.

Living in the present moment with full attention will provide all the answers.

Meditation
Firstly before I discuss this subject many people will have chosen to have assumed what this section has to say. It is a
preconceived idea that meditation is a man sat crossed legged holding finger and thumb in a circle. If I said to you I’ll race
you to the bus stop do you assume that I’m an athlete?

As there are many sports that identify an athlete there are many forms of mediation.

Do you believe that ‘Patience is a virtue’? I would expect the answer to be yes. It would follow therefore that this virtue
needs to be developed.

Meditation can be 30 seconds, 30 minutes or 3 hours. But one thing for sure is that it contributes to your peace of mind.

Happiness stems from a calm inner self and thus we need to be aware of everything that can achieve this calmness.
Meditation is the one tool that has the greatest effect.

I would guess that 95% of people on this planet have never experienced the benefit of meditation. Their initial fear is that
they cannot devote the time. If then we can introduce to you a 30 second mediation; answer me truthfully, can you spare 30
seconds?

Choose a chair that allows a posture that promotes having a straight back. Close your eyes. Within the first ten seconds
you’ll think of something; allow this thought to fall away. You’ll have about 15 seconds left to allow every thought to fall
away.

This 30 second period of time is similar to the clicking clock syndrome. When you glance at a clock you temporarily think
that the clock has stopped. Time is an enormous empty space and we can fit our life into it.

Within those 30 seconds you’ll have experienced a few seconds of bliss and the other few seconds you’ll have fought off a
myriad of thoughts.

What conclusion can we make from this observation? That these few seconds of bliss is your very own PARADISE! A place
where you can travel to regenerate a tired body, a place where you can go to reestablish your clarity of mind.

A 30 second mediation can be done almost anywhere at anytime. If it can contribute to your sanity and more importantly to
your levels of happiness it must be a good tool to use.

Expect to increase the time you meditate by a couple of minutes a year until you reach 30 minutes.

This calmer state of mind will affect your life; of this you can be assured!

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Now!
QUOTE: "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in
the present moment is a major component of mental wellness." (Abraham Maslow, 1908-1970, Psychologist)

The beauty about illustrating some simple principle of practical philosophy with a short story is that the point is more easily
hammered home. No matter how articulate one may be a story somehow performs the process of education so much
better.

This next story is a perfect explanation of the time in our life we refer to as NOW. Tomorrow or the future has a time for
planning, but all the important happenings are in the NOW.

If we grasp how important this valuable piece of time really is, we’ll make more effort to create these precious moments
happier.

Cast your mind back within the last two hours and remember a significant moment of happiness. I said two hours because if
you can remember one moment, is that one moment enough for a two hour period? Happiness can be cultivated if we so
chose to make it our aim, but we forget. We need to introduce a better system of habitual responses.

Do you know someone who is quite witty? They’re not born witty, they have chosen to develop that aspect of their
personality. As with happiness it needs a little development; you have it within you just practice more often to bring it to the
surface.

THE ESSENCE OF LIFE

Your own happiness is a major part of the essence of life. Yet we abuse this quality each and every day.

I was playing with my own children when I noticed this very principle in action. When an adult takes an action they often
replay the action and contemplate its merits. As a result of such consideration their next action in theory is vastly improved.

Yet should we watch children the process is much different but the end result is the same. The children tend to make an
action and if it’s not right they instantly make another action to correct it. No time for consideration, that is because they
operate in the NOW.

As adults we somehow need to apply a justification to our actions. Look back on the last day and answer honestly, can you
remember a moment when you weren’t paying full attention?

First and foremost we cannot expect to achieve full attention every moment of the day, but we can expect to improve the
balance we have at the moment. I sometimes drive to the office in the morning and forget how many traffic lights I’ve driven
past. I was driving but also considering other aspects of my life. So in theory I was driving with perhaps only 60% attention.

The essence of life cannot be running your life on automatic pilot. Watch children and see how often they change path. For
some reason adults find accepting change as a difficult process; they are almost suggesting to themselves, why change I
can’t be far off being right?

It is not until a child gets to about ten years old do they start asking what is happening today. They have realized that if they
plan the day they’ll get more out of it. Why then don’t we see the same importance?

Be like a child and work more in the NOW.

(Andy Bolton)

QUOTE: “Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.” (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

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Happiness is not Circumstance but Attitude
"I live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter had always
brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you
try hard enough." (Red Skelton, 1913-1997, Comedian)

Can you make things happen?

Could you love someone more? Could you show love more readily?

More often than not there are unseen obstacles that prevent us from opening up a new world. They are not hidden walls or
mountains but limitations that we put upon ourselves.

“I cannot build a new garden shed until I earn more money,” said a tired husband and handyman.

“I cannot build a new kitchen until I have new tools,” said a frustrated husband.

“I cannot love my children more… there are not enough hours in the day,” said a concerned mother.

“I cannot remember everything… I have enough to remember on my own,” said an irate partner.

Whenever these limitations exist in your life, so does the limited life you claim you live in exist.

Return to a happy state of mind and allow the limitation to evaporate, you’ll sense a new flood of energy to remedy a
previous ‘can’t do’.

MAKING THINGS HAPPEN

When we see a country that is starving we immediately send them food. It then becomes a matter of routine that each week
we send them food.

Charities have already thought beyond this initial process and decided upon providing food to feed the hunger and then
provide education to prevent the hunger from returning.

We would assume that if we provided a jug full of water to a thirsty person they would drink until they could drink no more. A
natural reaction we would all agree. The assumption may have been from the thirsty person that another jug would be
available tomorrow. They may have even emptied to remaining water over their head to cool them down.

All actions we can appreciate, but nonetheless all from a desperate person. Desperate people make desperate decisions.

When you are flustered during the day you can be assured that the decisions you make during this period will be equally
flustered and poor.

Don’t excuse our poor decisions with a justification; as with the person who is thirsty, we need to educate ourselves so that
we can improve the balance of good and poor decision making.

Here are two questions with the same answer. Firstly, how do you track a company on the stock market to ensure your
making a good investment in their shares? Secondly, how do you build a plough to cultivate your land? The answer is to
educate.

Education sounds tedious and too much like hard work. If someone said I want you to watch this game we play on the stock
market, there is no effort in watching. If someone else said, let us play a finding game, we need to find pieces of wood to
help build a plough. It is not tedious education but a fun game to play.

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Making things happen is about using the right words to trigger action. It happens to other people and no doubt you can
make it happen to you to.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Circumstances can be thrust upon you, yet attitude is self taught.

A good attitude is about understanding what is right and acceptable and with that comes an enthusiasm. A poor attitude is
about not understanding fully and filling in the missing pieces with ‘untruths’.

Allow this next examination to explain how we allow our emotions to direct our attitude away from happiness.

QUOTE: “Many a true word spoken in jest…”

Using this quote does actually prompt me to accept that humour helps in explaining wisdom. As spoken before, whenever
you are happy, you are more attentive. Thus, when you’ve just heard some humour that contains wisdom, that very wisdom
will always be remembered as you recall the joke.

Have you ever experienced the ‘lost your car keys’ syndrome? You begin the rush around trying to see where the keys are,
but realize as ever they are nowhere to be found. What is the best advice at this point? You will have heard this advice
before, because it is sound, methodical and philosophically good. “Calm down and think where you had them last?”
Generally speaking, when you have done this, you experience a short flash of knowledge and suddenly the place where the
keys were left manifests itself as a picture within your mind.

So if that method of ‘calming down’ is so successful, why don’t we adopt it more often to resolve other problems? Because
of course we are too fixed in our ways (poor attitude).

Let this grip of ‘holding on’ to our past attitudes diminish, and you’ll start to see the benefits.

When our day turns out to be about – ‘rushing around and getting nothing done’ we are not allowing any focus. We are not
being attentive on one item, when we don’t we are sharing our full attention with six or seven different possibles. When we
do this we forget the main task in hand.

This next story shows us how we get our priorities mixed up. We pay too much attention on the smaller things and neglect
the bigger and more important ones.

THE STORY OF THE STONES

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him, albeit discretely hidden from view. He
picked up an empty jam jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks; rocks that were about six centimeters in size. He then asked
the students, “Is the jar full?”

They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a jar of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jam jar
lightly. The pebbles of course rolled into the open areas within the rocks. He then asked the students once more, “Was the
jar full?” They agreed once more that it was.

The students then laughed as the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand filled
everywhere else!

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is YOUR life! The rocks are symbolic of important things, such
as your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your
life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is
everything else, the small stuff.”
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The professor continued, “The philosophical point here is that if you put the sand in the jar first, there is no room for the
pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will have no
room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your
children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out more often. There will always be time to go to work,
clean the house, have a barbeque and fix the waste disposal. Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter, Set
your priorities. The rest is just sand…”

Just then this philosophical study took a humorous turn… A student then took the jar, which by now everyone had agreed
was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer! Of course the beer filled in the remaining spaces within the jar making
the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale (for those willing to accept humour in their philosophical studies) is: - no matter how full your life is,
there is always some room for beer!

(Adapted to introduce humour)

QUOTE: "A good laugh is sunshine in the house.” (William Makepeace Thackery)

QUOTE: “One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine with only interests” (John Stuart Mill)

Happiness depends on our attitude, if we cannot witness ourselves in action we’ll never be able to improve our attitude.
When a moment of gratitude is offered but initially refused, an attitude of insistence may be necessary.

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

Good for the soul…

The man's name was Fleming and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he
heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself.

Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings.

An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I
want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.

At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes,"
the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me take your son and give him a good education. If the lad is anything
like his father, he'll grow up to be a man you can be proud of."
And that he did.

In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London and went on to become known
throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming; the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved him? Penicillin.

The nobleman's name? Randolph Churchill.

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His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Moral? "What goes around comes around."

(The Churchill Family)

QUOTE: "The human body has two ears and one mouth. To be good at persuading or selling, you must learn to use those
natural devices in proportion. Listen twice as much as you talk and you'll succeed in persuading others nearly every time."
(Tom Hopkins)

OUR ATTITUDE MIRRORS OUR PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY

What is going to happen today?

Will it be good or will it be bad?

We must accept that the responsibility to have a successful and happy day depends upon your choices and actions.

Today I look out of the window at breakfast time and see rain, am I sad for the inconvenience or happy that our reservoirs
are being filled?

Today I am a sculptor I can manipulate most of what the day offers, I can therefore make my day happy.

Today is Saturday and housework time, do I sulk because of the work, or should I be thankful I’ve a home?

Today is Monday and my children return to school, do I shudder at the prospect of them moaning that its another school
day or do I plant a seed that today they’ll become so much wiser?

Today it is Monday for me to, do I whine that it’s another day at work, or do I be thankful I’ve got a job?

Today I’ve moved house, do I moan that I’ve lost all my old friends, or do I rejoice at the prospect of new neighbours?

Today I look out into my garden, do I see the thorns, or do I see the roses?

Today I visit the countryside, do I protest at the amount of electricity pylons, or do I just enjoy the spectacular views?

Today I reflect upon my upbringing, do I criticize my parents for the discipline, or do I be grateful for the lesson?

Today I study my health, do I allow the pain to affect my morale, or do I be thankful I’m alive?

Today I study my bank account, do I feel sad because my finances are poor, or do I be glad that my financial planning will
improve as a consequence?

Today I realize the power of words, do I allow them to inhibit my style, or prosper by speaking positively?

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Happiness and Wisdom

QUOTE: “One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick.”
(Rabbi Harold Kushner)

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When you suddenly have a moment of recognition, understanding, comprehension, insight, awareness and appreciation,
you get the sense of feeling that the above quote has just implied, a sort of healthier, brighter and more intellectual feeling.

We should never underestimate the power behind these instances, they move us forward. They remind us that no matter
what occurs, there is an obvious positive answer should we choose to look for it.

You will never raise a smile when you’re negative, but when you’re positive you carry an aura that will sweep and swish
around your body as you carry on your daily duties.

Be aware however that both happiness and love increase in intensity when shared.

THE PREACHER

A preacher wanted to visit an elderly person in his congregation, but when he arrived in her neighbourhood, there was
nowhere to park. He drove around and finally, in frustration, he parked in a red zone. Not wanting a ticket, he took out a
piece of church stationary and wrote a brief note.

"I have driven around the block ten times and there is no place to park. I have an urgent appointment. Forgive us our
trespasses. -Pastor Williams."

Upon returning to his car, he found a parking ticket and an attached note that said, "Dear Pastor, I have driven around this
block for ten years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I will lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." -Officer Steve.

(Pastor Williams)

QUOTE: “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strength. When you go through hardships and
decide not to surrender, that is your strength.” (Arnold Schwartzenegger, Actor)

QUOTE: “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” (Mark
Twain)

I was struggling to think of a story for my own children when I needed to illustrate how important they are as individuals in
the scheme of life.

My own daughter had been sanctioned to her bedroom for various misdemeanours and as a consequence was feeling
worthless.

I was trying to explain that in life you’ll get many knocks and the value of you as an individual doesn’t lesson during those
knocks. This setback becomes an opportunity rather than a nuisance. You have an opportunity to learn so that the next
time a similar situation arises you’ll not follow the same path and get into trouble again.

May I take this opportunity to remind you of this story I’ve used earlier, because the significance is immense.

THE BLUE BOOK

This particular book was blue with a gold embossed title. Within the first few pages it said it was re-printed in 1905. Without
telling you the name of the book, would you know from the description so far what book it was? No, I don’t suppose you
would.

In 1905 it was a new book, printed and bound to the highest quality. Although the content had been used before and there
were many similar books, the owner of this book was delighted to have purchased it.

The book was full of information and although the owner was only aged 10 he began to read from page 1. It wasn’t long
before he put his own stamp on the book by writing his name on the inside front cover. He was proud to own it and was
happy for everyone to know that too.
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It wasn’t a book he read straight through, for it took him 5 years to finish it; but he recalls the journey was well worth the
wait. It became a very proud possession and moved from shelf to shelf in his bedroom.

His parents were having a clear out and decided to collect some old items and send them to a local jumble sale. This blue
book had been fingered, dropped, pages had been folded and several had been scribbled upon when the owner was still
young. The parents asked if they could include this in their collection for the jumble sale as it didn’t look too healthy.

It may not have been impressive to look at, but the content was excellent. The value to the owner had not decreased from
day one. So, NO the parents could take it.

The owner grew older and found himself a wife and in the excitement of life he mislaid the book at home. It wasn’t long
before his parents had another house clear out and this time the book went to the jumble sale.

During that day at the jumble sale the book got picked up by many people and almost everyone considered it worthy to
purchase. It was an old lady who purchased the book for a few pence. She referred to the book as revisiting an old friend.
Over the next 15 years she read it through about five times. Although the book may not have been in pristine condition the
content was still valuable.

The old lady passed away and her belongings were taken to a second hand shop. The blue book was purchased again for
a few pence by a mother who bought it specifically for her own children. Both children read it on several occasions and one
kept it in his book collection for 40 years.

This current owner found his house on fire and although many expensive items had been destroyed his book collection had
been saved; although the cover of the blue book was dirtier than ever. As it seems to happen with time, the blue book
changed hands several more times; one of which had spent time to meticulously clean the book. As I write this recollection
the book is 100 years old, a little tatty around the edges but still of value because of the content.

Doesn’t this seem similar to our life and how we sometimes have to drag ourselves off the floor and dust ourselves down?

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or creased,
you are still priceless to this life.

By the way the blue book was entitled ‘The Bible’.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: "The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom.” (Thomas Huxley)

Hope
Hope is a door to other possibilities. When you feel downtrodden and the world is heavy upon your shoulders, there seems
to be little room for manoeuvre. Within this small area we become less focused and eventually resign ourselves to no hope
whatsoever.

To have ‘no hope’ must in any equation equal sadness and disappointment. What happens for sure when we have no hope
is that we have actively decided that no other options are available. However, if we were to ask another person who had
clarity of mind they would probably suggest several directions we could take.

To have ‘no hope’ means to ‘give in’; it doesn’t mean there are no possibilities available, it just means that you’re not
bothered to find any.
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So it would appear that to have hope in anything we do will also give us an element of happiness. To have hope allows the
opportunity for possibility. You have an open mind and are always willing to listen to any positive move forward.

Happiness is about enjoying the boundless opportunities that are presented; having hope allows this process to happen.

QUOTE: “Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.” (Norman Vincent
Peale)

If you were diagnosed as being obese you would have a right to wallow in sadness as the doctor no doubt suggested many
health problems for you in the future. The very prospect of putting right what has caused the obesity can also make you
sad; too much thought on the subject and you’re almost ready to give in before you’ve started trying to put things right.

ALLOW HOPE… Hope means that there is an answer should we be ready to accept it; most of the time we’re not ready.
But having hope allows the prospect of it happening. Allowing hope doesn’t shut the door and make it final. Allowing hope
means that one door will open soon.

I can recall a particular instance that many would assume is the start of happiness. A 40 year old man and his family
decided to emigrate to a hotter climate. Moving from England to Spain his 20 years of working hard had allowed him to be
happily self sufficient financially to make such a move. Within two years he treated himself and his family to the luxuries of
life.

He thought this was the path to more happiness. What he actually had done is put on 6 stone and become morbidly obese.
His future life expectancy had decreased by 30 years; he had been diagnosed as possibly having a heart attack before he
was 45 years old. Two major things could change this problem; eat healthier and be more physically active.

Both he and his family were shocked with the news. What was their thought of working hard for 20 years to allow such early
retirement and then find they’ve forced upon themselves a potential nightmare? Their answer was HOPE.

The man chose to walk 8 miles a day for two years along the coast road. His wife had adjusted their eating and drinking
habits. Five stone had been lost in 13 months, his life had been transformed. The whole occasion was a terrible life lesson,
but it was only HOPE that gave them strength to allow a solution and discipline to follow a plan through to its completion.

When all seems lost HOPE gives you that edge to provide a happy solution.

BUSTED…10 Happiness Myths that are holding you back

There are many aspects of our life that we don’t explore and fully understand; as a consequence this very specific area is
misunderstood. We could turn out not too dissimilar to the fisherman at the end of a bar, claiming we know a subject when
actually we know very little.

Allow me to explain and resolve a few myths of how to achieve happiness that the majority of the world believes to be true.

Myth 1. “I don’t have the right attributes or qualities; I don’t have what it takes to be happy.”

Answer: Anything spoken with a limitation involved will invariably be true. If you don’t think you’ll ever be happy then that’ll
restrict happiness every arriving. The solution and reality of the situation however is that it is not true, we all have the
capacity to be happy, don’t describe a cup as half empty, describe it as half full. It is about expressing your feelings in a
positive way; always allow for expansion rather than limitation. You have the potential to be happy, so you will be happy!

Happiness follows two important principles; firstly a decision to be happy, and secondly an action to support that decision.
In fact we may find that many of the happier people in life have the most difficult lives to organize. It is not that we need to
search for a life with fewer problems, but to search for the skills to deal with them more effectively.
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Be a ‘doer’ and not just a thinker.

Myth 2. “I’m disappointed with my academic education and feel that true happiness is about education.”

Answer: Happiness is not associated with your academic qualification. It is assisted however by a greater knowledge of
how happiness arrives in your life. Don’t buy a new kitchen just to make you happy, it is a short term material happiness;
consider other possibilities to enhance your kitchen and keep your sanity and a good control of your finances.

Self education is an important factor in life; rarely are we taught wisdom and philosophy at school. This means therefore we
need a good discipline and personal philosophy to encourage our own process of self education.

One further consideration is that you’ll never receive education when you’re sad, but your capacity to soak up
information when you’re happy is 100 fold better.

Myth 3. “To be happy I need that big house and huge garden, that’s the one I see every day on the hill.”

Answer: Balderdash! Material possessions do not make you permanently happy. Imagine the tramp that sees your life style
and wishes much of the same. Those who don’t appear to be happy always think that wanting more will make them happy. I
have known many people who have huge responsibilities and wish sometimes for the simpler lifestyle, they’d hope for a
smaller mortgage, smaller taxes and easier to pay utility bills. Don’t rely on the fact that more possessions, a bigger house
and bigger garden are paramount in your search for happiness.

I once remember of a man I met who told of a trip to Barbados. He’d spent a full year saving for the trip and found that he
was finding it difficult to remove the money from his wallet to pay for expensive drinks and meals out. As a consequence the
holiday was spoilt and proof that happiness cannot be bought with money.

Everyone appears to make the claim that more money would make them happy, well the reality is if they think that more
possessions, bought with more money, make you happy then when they get more money it is never enough and their own
greed makes them even more selfish. Happiness is the opposite of selfishness.

Myth 4. “Money attracts happiness.”

Money may appear to attract happy people, but in reality these people are happy to help you spend your money. They are
happy because the money is either giving them a good time, or helping to pay their wages.

Let’s look at the starving in the world. Imagine a village of 100 people, all pretty much close to death because of a drought
or crop failure. Give them in the first week a £1000; they’ll buy food to feed the village. Give them a £1000 the second week
they’ll buy the same food; the third, fourth, fifth and subsequent weeks they’ll continue to buy food to feed the village. If the
£1000 a week didn’t stop for a year you are likely to find a well nourished village with the occasional overweight person.

Because of the high emotion and fear of future starvation the village fed the people. Money causes high emotional changes,
only a few are able to control that emotion so inevitably the money is not often spent wisely. The better plan with the regular
£1000 would have been to feed the village for a few weeks and then start to buy new crops and new equipment to plough
their own fields.

Money attracts complacency of its owners if the emotional highs are not put under control. Money should be a security net
and not an open wallet.

As already mentioned happiness attracts success which may ultimately result in increased wealth; but the other way around
money isn’t a guarantee for happiness.

Take your children to a bustling seaside town where entertainment is based around spending money. At the end of your
visit you’ll have become angry with your children for constantly asking for money. Take the same children to a hill, a lake,
the coast, a mountain, a river, the woods or the moors and give them a stick each to aid their walking and they’ll make their
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own entertainment. They’ll jump over grass mounds, they’ll climb trees, they’ll slide down hillsides, they’ll move heavy
stones and skim pebbles off the water. The cost? Nothing. But are the children happy? On the whole I’m sure your answer
would be yes, plus the experience would be educational as well.

Myth 5. “I must slowly add to my principles and beliefs about happiness.”

To add slowly implies that adding quick is wrong. Improving happiness is about adding. Slowly could suggest that you’re
adding happiness with a greater purpose; but don’t rely only on that theory

Myth 6. “If you weren’t born a happy child you’ll never experience too much happiness.”

Your childhood has some important lessons regarding happiness, but not sufficiently to allow such a myth to be true. No
matter how unhappy your past has been the next second can change all that.

Happiness is in the NOW and past experiences can be forgotten that have previously produced sadness. If you worry about
sadness dominating your life then don’t expect instant results. Allow them to manifest gradually. Start producing actions that
lead to a happy feeling. Practice doing this on a daily basis and see how such actions can start to change your life.

Myth 7. “If I’m happy I sense I’m cheating someone else out of happiness.”

This is complete twaddle and high-grade, premium quality nonsense. If you are happy the mirror principle applies and the
people you meet will share your happiness.

Myth 8. “Being happy is a sin when there are people in the world starving!”

If there was ever a chance you could change the world it will only be when you’re happy. Start the ripple that may spread
across the world. Okay we must acknowledge the sadness seen in the eyes of the starving, but if you are happy you may
be drawn directly towards helping. This could be either helping a charity or offering your services in some way.

To make donations is satisfactory, but it may not suppress your compassion for the situation. Follow your heart.

Myth 9. “I fear that happiness requires hard work to maintain its presence in my life.”

Every single day we will slip in and out of happiness. All we need to do is witness this happening. In doing this we need to
make our next action a positive one so that it takes us back on course.

Understand that our emotions ebb and flow during the day; so happiness isn’t a guarantee. It isn’t ‘hard’ work that is
required, it is more of a watching, a listening and full attentiveness that changes our emotional state of mind.

Myth 10. “When I am happy I fear that people will judge me and envy my happiness; and consequently steer away from my
bliss.”

Happiness is attractive and appealing; you are describing a contrived happiness that is displayed to impress people. If you
are genuinely happy you will emanate a vibration that people understand and want to share. Contrived laughter for
onlookers is not the same.

Trust that true happiness will serve you well and will not make others envious.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

Conclusion
In conclusion life is a reflection of you.

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If you are sad, then no doubt the people you meet will be sad, somehow you don’t see the happy people pass you by. If you
are happy on the other hand your blinkers are removed and you see everyone.

THE ECHO PRINCIPLE

A young Tibetan boy was hiking with his father through the foothills of Mount Everest. His father stopped at one particular
point and asked his son to shout whatever came into his mind.

The son shouted, “Hello!” To his amazement a reply came back, “Hello!”

Although the young boy was confused he shouted again, “Who are you?” A reply came back, “Who are you?”

He glanced at his father and was encouraged to shout again, “My name is Rathoon!” A reply came back, “My name is
Rathoon!”

The young boy turned to his father for an explanation. His father said, “Allow me to explain,” he also shouted across the
valley, “I love you!” A reply came back “I love you!”

The father shouted again, “Thank you for everything!” A reply came back, “Thank you for everything.”

The father shouted once more, “I am grateful for my wisdom,” and a reply came back, “I am grateful for my wisdom.”

The young Tibetan boy look confused. His father responded, “You see,” he said, and continued, “This is called the Echo
Principle, it is a mirror of our life. Whatever we put into our life, our life pays us back equally. Whatever we say or do the
Echo Principle reflects the same back upon us.”

The father continued, “If you want your family to love you more, then you must first love them more. If you want to be
treated fairly at school then you must treat everyone else fairly first. Whatever good fortune, compassion and love you give
out and equal amount will return in good time.”

The ultimate moral to this story is that whatever you give out, whether it is good or evil will return and repay you in the
fullness of time.

(Phil Booker)

You will always struggle in life to remain happy, so what can you do?

The less you try to direct your life with serious intention the more room you leave for wisdom to offer you help. A serious
intention is not too dissimilar to putting on blinkers. You may well be in the top five of a race with such intention, but you
don’t allow any room for inspiration to tap you on the shoulder to offer further help.

If you can admit to yourself that you don’t have an answer then you will be open to both inspiration and the maximum
benefit from intuition. It may not always arrive on cue, so it is wise to search in areas that offer an informative guide.

Always revert back to an authority!

There will be some description or one story that has hit home within this book; this could be your authority.

AUTHORITY

We bought two school anoraks for my own children; they were black with a band of grey fluffy material on the hood.

They both looked at them and said ooh no! "But we bought them from Ross's Cabin," I said.

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To you that may mean nothing, but it is like 'Nike' or 'Wrangler', the cabin is a shrine to children. That made these anoraks
now fine to wear.

Another example of authority happened only recently. My son, Jack, aged 10, asked what ‘bird flu’ was; only because he’d
heard a news bulletin on the television. It wasn’t the question but the authority he’d given to the news bulletin. He wanted a
full explanation of what ‘bird flu’ was and how it was affecting our world. Whatever that news broadcaster was saying on the
television was the way it was!

One final example of authority, the simple plaster (band aid)... The item that covers ever cut that a child has. They fall down
and look intently for the blood. They'll whimper, but tears won't form until they see blood. The one single authority that
rectifies their anguish, the plaster... Go to any child in the modern world who has fallen down and offer them a plaster, it will
appear as if you've been sent from heaven.

When attempting to clarify a point with children, don't assume they will understand your description. Try and read it from a
valuable source. This is the authority they'll understand.

(Andy Bolton)

What to do next?

We are all born with the same opportunity, with very few exceptions. We need to encourage creativity, which is the process
of developing an idea into reality.

We cannot be expected to introduce so many aspects to our arsenal of knowledge in a short time span. What we can
expect however is a slow drip that will alter our view on life. Allow me to illustrate this gradual increase in knowledge with a
story.

SMALL STEPS

A certain man had to go to another town miles away. It was night and pitch dark, and all he had was a tiny little lantern
which could, at most, light a couple of steps. Because the journey seemed so long and the night dark he was depressed
and unsure – unsure of reaching his destination with only this tiny light.

A wise man passed and asked why he was standing at the door with his lantern. The man suggested because the night
was dark and because his lantern was small, it would be of no use.

The wise man explained to him that it was not necessary to have a light big enough to illuminate the whole way. “As you
proceed,” he said, “the light will move with you, so that the next one or two steps will always be clear. All you need to do is
to hold the lantern and start walking.”

A simple and fundamental principle that can easily be overlooked. Just sometimes… you don’t need the entire path
illuminating before you make the first step!

(A Zen Story)

When we are taught a new concept that is unfamiliar it can take a while to sink in. In fact it can be weeks upon weeks until
suddenly the penny drops and the teaching becomes known.

Why does this happen in this way? We are taught a new perspective and until the vision is completely clear we cannot see.
Stubbornness is one clear example where for some reason we have a brick wall stopping information getting in. In
removing this obstacle we’re open to new approaches.

Allow this story to unfold and decide whether the father, acting in response to a doubt in his son’s mind, made the right
decision in how to prove his case…

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A FATHER’S LESSON

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how
poor people can be. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Oh Yeah" said the son.

"So what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our
garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they
have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they
grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

With this the boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."

(An Australian Folktale)

QUOTE: "Every decision you make - every decision - is not a decision about what to do. It's a decision about Who You Are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events,
occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do." (Neale Donald Walsch)

We all want love and happiness, but more often than not we forget the best route to get it.

Our life is often guided by peer pressure and thus we follow such society rules to achieve our goal of love and happiness.

We are told to be successful in our chosen career. Why not be successful in our life first and let that success overflow into
our career?

We are encouraged and expected to achieve or at least be on our way to a life long love in our early twenties. What we are
not told is that it will be a bumpy ride; and today’s culture is divorce. Why don’t we take such pressure off young adults and
explain how to overcome major disagreements in relationships? What we tend to do is suggest that they’ll sort it out
themselves.

It seems that the intensity of bad communication has multiplied and the ease of separation has become a way out of
trouble.

In major charity fund raising we’ll find that the charity does not tend to donate just food; they encourage people to grow their
own food. We all nod in agreement, but we do little to encourage our children or for that matter our grown up children to
understand the importance of communication in love; we’ll just donate food!

Our society seems to be driven by money, which ultimately we’re told comes from success. The order of which we
brainwash into our children, “You must do well at school so that you’re able to choose a better career; one that has a
greater chance to provide a better standard of living.”

But do we have the principles in the right order?

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THE INSECTS RULE

A family from the city came to live in the jungle. They were unsure of this new life, but nonetheless were eager to learn.

All the local insects had seen this new intrusion and were unsure what to make of this new family. Each different animal had
a symbolic role to play, so the animals decided to play a game upon the new family to test their compatibility with the jungle.

The money spider, associated with wealth, had been instructed to visit this family’s new home. Would he be killed by the
city people?

The children were the first to see the spider and they all huddled around to see the beautiful antics and the spider’s majestic
way in which he spun his web. The mother and father had contemplated whether to eject this spider from their home. They
chose to allow the spider the share their home. A few days later the spider returned back to the jungle to tell his tale.

The animals had a further meeting and they had decided that the money spider, although not killed hadn’t come back with
conclusive evidence that the city family would adjust to living in the jungle. They chose to send the big black beetle, a
symbol of success as he was had created a skin that acted like an armor plated body suit to fend off attacks from other
predators.

The children again were the first to see the beetle, the shouted to their parents who came rushing to investigate the new
intrusion. The parents said, “The beetle will do us no injury, it will be passing through our home, we must allow it to do so
without harming it.” The beetle returned to the other insects to have a further meeting. He confirmed that the city family had
done him no harm and spoke of allowing insects to pass through without harm or injury.

The insects needed to give the city family one more test; they were to send in the furry black nighttime moth, a symbol of
love and affection. That night as a light was switched on by the patio the moth flew in for his first encounter. The children
shuddered at the flapping wings of the moth and called for their father to intervene. He came to the patio and said, “This
moth has his home in the jungle, we cannot change that; what we can do is invite him to attend our patio every night. In fact
we must allow the insects of the jungle to live their life as if we were not here,” the father turned on all the patio lights and all
the furry black nighttime moths came to visit.

The moths returned the following day for the last meeting to asses the suitability of their new neighbours. The meeting
recognized that not only had they accepted the moth, they invited every other moth to attend. The insect meeting could
have chosen to infest the new city people’s house, but instead accepted their presence.

The insect world’s rule was quite simple; the city people had been offered both wealth and success in the jungle. They had
not refused it or trampled on the possibility of it having them on an extended stay, but allowed them to live within their
environment. No greed, claim or hostility was noticed. Upon sending the symbol of love into their home they invited more
upon more to visit. They must therefore be considered suitable neighbours to have in the jungle.

Wherever love goes, wealth and success will prosper.

(Wisdom and Philosophy.com)

QUOTE: We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other. To meet, to love, to share. It is a precious moment,but it
is transient. It is a little parentheses in eternity. If we share with caring, lightheartedness, and love, we will create
abundance and joy for each other, and this moment will have been worthwhile. (Deepak Chopra, M.D.)

7 STEPS TO PURE LOVE AND HAPPINESS

1. The first stage is good actions, which leads to-

2. The second stage which is good thoughts
3. Good thoughts lead to the third stage, which is a decrease in bad thoughts.
4. Decrease in bad thoughts leads to the fourth stage which is a predominance of love and happiness.
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5. This leads to the fifth stage, which is a decrease in wordly attractions.
6. Decrease in worldy attractions leads to the sixth stage which is giving up worldy objectives
7. Giving up worldy objectives leads to the seventh and final stage, which is freedom from all thoughts about one’s own self
and one’s personal profit.

(Eastern Religion)

QUOTE: “At the heart of science is an essential balance between two seemingly contradictory attitudes – an openness to
new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive, and the most ruthlessly skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.”
(Carl Sagan)

12 Tips on "How To Be Happy" from an Author of repute… - Robert Louis Stevenson -

1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with
gladness of life. The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected from misfortune that befalls other
people.

4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.

5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.

6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, enmity, grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.

10. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over
things.

11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

As we close the chapter on this book I’ve included 100 ways to Improve your Self Esteem at the very end. I wrote these 5
years ago and still find them true today. I hope you enjoy them.

This book has been a journey through our emotions and how best to operate within them. There have been many
suggestions on how to improve our power of attention; this is an important step towards becoming happier. I have
suggested all the way through the book that it takes very little effort to be happy; all we need to do is to improve our basic
principles and morals.

Opening our mind to new ideas will allow our world to prosper. Love is in the realm of happiness, but should you require
one direct route back to happiness, show love to other people in your life.

In this world of complications be happy and everything else will fall into place.

Phil Booker for Wisdom and Philosophy.com

Your comments would be appreciated at: Email bookcomments@philbooker.plus.com
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*******************************************************************************************************************************************

100 Ways to Improve Your SELF ESTEEM

First it is important to understand the exact meaning of ‘Self-Esteem’. The Oxford English Dictionary definition is:

“One’s good opinion of one-self.”

What in essence we are trying to achieve with these 100 ways is to trigger a way back to a happy and contented state of
mind.

Many people including the psychology profession wouldn’t be able to survive without them, use the process of improving
SELF-ESTEEM as an important step to the development of feeling good about one-self again.

This pathway back to a ‘good sense of worth’ may not be achieved with these 100 ways alone, but we can assure you that
you will have been elevated sufficiently to see what’s required next.

We all have moments each year, each month, each week, each day and each hour where we may have sensed a period of
sadness ensuing. It could have been a verbal attack on our character or it could have been a series of bad events.
Whatever happens to you may never happen to anyone else; these routes to the doldrums are very personal.

Negativity is a sore point for any individual, so we need to develop a process of rising through these periods of confusion,
and these are best defeated with us in a stronger frame of mind.

Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of you as an individual, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!
Notice the small differences as they happen. Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Beating low self esteem is a
wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd initially imagine.

QUOTE: “The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.” (Lady
Bird Johnson).

1. Amongst this last section are 100 ways to improve your self-esteem. Each and every way needs and involves a certain
skill. This skill is re-enforced by practicing. We must understand how important it is to practice. Try and recall any moment
in your life where you have had a need to practice.

This moment is very important! All these tips need the ability and understanding on how important it is to practice. Repeat,
repeat and repeat until the sequence becomes habitual. Once you have practiced this skill, you have an opened the door to
a better self-esteem for your future.

2. Emotions attach themselves to memories. If you have a low self-esteem then the guarantee is that the memories you are
recalling are poor or sad. As a consequence your emotional state is weak. The opposite applies. Attach yourself to pleasant
memories and the positive emotions will flow.

3. SELF CONSCIOUSNESS = BAD SELF CONFIDENCE. Practice on how to keep your attention off yourself! Every time
you begin to feel a little anxious as a result of experiencing self consciousness, take your power of attention and rest it onto
something you enjoy. This will not necessarily be a momentary event, but a period of say 5 minutes to an hour. Pick up your
favourite book and become immersed in the plot or the topic. This shift of attention will remove the emphasis away for you,
allowing an inner calm to develop and subsequent strength to grow.

4. Self consciousness arises generally because we have time to think. If we have a 15 minute wait for a job interview, the
chances that we think about ourselves is highly likely. The answer then is to occupy our mind on other things during this
waiting period. Take a book, put some plans into your diary, and examine details about the company you are being
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interviewed at, or read a magazine. The moment you enter the waiting room your self-esteem maybe high, constructively
employing this tactic to occupy your mind, your self-esteem will remain high for the interview.

5. Accept your nature… Begin to accept your own nature more readily, with very little that needs changing or fixing. So what
if you’re a few minutes late, there are no problems being an ‘afternoon’ person or if you only come alive at night, speak out
of turn, interrupt or whatever; it is your nature! Take a moment of deep thought, fill your lungs with air, this deep and
affirming breath is a recognition and a self appreciation and love for your true nature. You have come this far in life; you are
complete as you are!

6. Learn to say SORRY… Everyone makes mistakes. If you’ve spoken badly about someone, put it right immediately.
Apologize and wait to make sure they forgive you.

7. Be honest… Honesty is the best policy. Be careful to always tell the truth, otherwise ‘You’ll be off-track.’ Self-esteem is
difficult to keep ‘on-track’ when you are apt to tell a few lies or white lies.

8. Low self-esteem can be as a result of an assumption. Assumptions are not fact! Challenge your own assumptions
because they can cause you pain and anguish.

9. “If you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T, you're right" -Henry Ford. It is your state of mind that determines your
commitment. Believe and you have strength.

10. The strength of your own Self Esteem has often been identified as how easy you deal with pain. An indirect way to
improve self-esteem is to work out how best you can resolve emotional pain and how soon. Using an apt quote is often a
good solution.

11. Forget your past mistakes and FOCUS on your successes encouraging yourself to greater achievements in the future.

12. It is not always where you are that determines the depth and quality of your self-esteem. If you have good intentions
ALONE your self esteem begins to grow.

13. A souvenir has attributes that cannot be easily defined, but is often closely connected with a vivid pleasant memory.
Keep these souvenirs close to hand as they have the skill to give you strength, when you have strength your self-esteem
will grow.

14. Music can be a very important aspect of our life. Never forget this! As a consequence you will invariably have one or
two songs or even a full album of music that makes you happy. Engulf yourself within this music. Your sense of wellbeing
will return.

15. A pleasant memory can improve your state of mind. Flick through the archives in your mind and choose a good one, so
good in fact that it gives you a flutter. This flutter is your smile; when you smile your self-confidence is sucked, as if by
syringe, into your consciousness.

16. Draw Energy & Excitement… Rather than dwell on parts of the day that is full of guilt and paralysis, draw instead energy
and excitement. Work with ‘who you are’, draw strength from the positives within your day. Use these positives as a starting
point; rejoice that there is some good!

17. Affirmations… Good or bad? Good! They work for everyone if they are introduced properly. They always need to be
written in the present moment, as if they are happening; they always should be positive. For example don’t say, “I am going
to get better at communicating,” the very implication here is that it is going to happen. You must re-phrase the negative into
a positive and say, “This better communication skill I have will give my life the uplift it needs.”

18. Improve your body posture... To slump on a desk is not what is required when a good friend is expecting a sympathetic
ear. In conversation try and mirror your interest with a positive body posture. If you are not interested, get use to being
diplomatic in reply.

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19. Avoid poor body language... Evil words are bad, but so it body language. Improve your body posture

20. Speak no evil… Say only positive statements. Let only words of kindness be on your tongue.

21. Hear no evil… Refuse to listen to gossip, slander and other negative forms of speech.

22. Learn to relax… Our day can be full of push, push, push, or do, do, do! Too much of this can deflate us without proper
rest. Rest long enough to gather strength and no longer. Short spells of rest can affect our mental effectiveness. The more
effective we are the more efficient.

23. Introduce more relaxation... In your attempt to improve your self-esteem you must be aware of how important being in a
good frame of mind can be. Relaxation is one of the major keys to unlock this improvement. There is no need to remind you
about the problems stress and high blood pressure can bring, so to avoid this health risk, arrange some time for
preventative relaxation cures.

24. Find peace and solitude... For some the answer may be meditation and yoga, for others in maybe fishing, golfing,
cooking, and going to the gym, walking in the hills, jogging around the block or simply doing the ironing. Whatever it is... find
it, and visit there often.

25. Don’t rush... Do you ever try and fit a 45 minute task in 30 minutes? Cooking is one task that springs to mind, especially
after a hard days work. Both the nutrients in the food and the way you find a need to gobble down the food are bad for your
health. Why try and catch two buses, two taxis, two planes without leaving a little slack in your planning. Working too close
to deadline is likely to introduce stress and failure.

26. Prevent planning the unreachable... Again try and avoid overloading your back. Set your expectations lower, otherwise
you’ll feel both disappointed and let down.

27. Quantify your plans... Too many times we exaggerate. I should be able to complete 20 tasks today. If you only do 5,
your day is a complete disappointment. Make your daily plans simple and realistic.

28. Always be resolute about time… Don’t let your mouth overload your back. If you are invited to do a task, it would be
wise to suggest it may take longer. So happiness is created when you finish the task before your due date.

29. Resist the bombardment of life… Learn to say no! If you don’t practice the word ‘no’ you’ll always over commit yourself
and spend half of your life catching up. This then makes you feel bad; your self esteem is low. If at first you say no, and
then find that you have a little time, you are always able to say yes and those who originally requested your time will be
overjoyed. If you do say no more often the bombardment will slow down in time, your time will be more respected and the
quality of when you do offer your services will be full and complete and everyone in your presence will benefit.

30. Making plans… Resist the temptation to over schedule your day. It is often the case that you have the desire to fit too
much into your day. This desire is often as a result of yesterday – you simply didn’t get enough done. This poor
organization has a spiraling effect. Not enough yesterday spills into today which then spills into the next day and so on!
Realism is a difficult subject to master, but it does help to introduce harmony.

31. Be humble… Avoid arrogance… These two are amongst your greatest weapons to fight off other people’s destructive
speech.

32. Avoid too much pride… Take pleasure in your accomplishments, not pride. Too much pride could lead to arrogance.

33. Need!... For every improvement in life you must NEED that change. To wish for that change is an illusion. To need that
change will create action and result in the commencement of something better! Needing… can create a better focus and an
intensified intention.

34. Self Discipline… Discipline has been a dirty word for me until I realized how self-discipline can improve your life. Us
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mere mortals for some bizarre reason, if given a task that is needed within 10 weeks, invariably will not start the project until
week 9! If you can understand how the quality of life improves with this little discipline, you’ll be tweaking its grip so it is
stronger forever.

35. Fear Paralysis… There are cycles in life. A women’s menstrual cycle for example, being one with so much precision on
timing. These cycles in our life come and go… Some business and some personal cycles are good, some are bad; we will
encounter them throughout our life. When times are bad some people begin to develop a fear which could become a full
blown paralysis. In other words it could prevent them from even leaving the house. We all seem to fear the bad times, but
we can combat them in two ways. Firstly we should remember that they are a cycle and will disappear with time, secondly
we should introduce positive ideas, resolutions and actions. The bad times will disappear faster if we can resolve the
problem it creates within our circumstances, resolve to make them work, take action to put your plan into action, then we
can see their grip loosen.

36. Don’t feel self-pity… Feeling sorry for yourself is not good. It is a negative reaction, it is a big drain on your time and
energy. Anything that drains your energy encourages a low self-esteem. We cannot deny allowing a few moments of
wallowing in self-pity, but keep them very short. This very practice of keeping them short will help remove the bad habit of
expecting them to happen in the first place.

37. Mixing in the right company… You are who you choose to mix with. If you mix with criminals, albeit in an innocent and
simple conversational way, you’ll eventually pick up some of their methods of resolving problems. Some have described
this unwelcoming mixing as mixing with ‘poison people.’ This of course is a shocking word and very negative, but
sometimes we need a little slap on the face to take action.

38. Don’t rely on television… In an ideal world I’m sure most people would spend more time with their family. Isn’t it strange
though, although we want that ideal world we will not practice what takes us there!? Avoid also leaving your children in front
of the television. This is so because they are learning life’s important principles through programs that are nothing less than
illusionary.

39. Try new things… If you do the same old things they become habitual. Becoming habitual means you are not alert and
fully attentive. Life soon becomes a drag, and you self-esteem plummets. Trying new things requires your full attention.
When you have full attention you are not dwelling on your problems. Moments of rest supercharge your batteries, as do
period of full attention. Few are aware that full attention is restful. Try taking a day off work with little to do. This becomes
the opposite of full attention. You will be sat on your sofa with a thousand things buzzing through your head. How do you
feel at the end of a day like that? Exhausted! A day off to rest and you feel more tired than before! Paying full attention to a
new task is restful; try it and see.

40. Think of one person alone, who has said to you personally that you have helped them. Capture this ’feel good’ feeling
and remember it.

41. Imagine this story as a parallel.

A garden full of flowers; within your hand you have a butterfly net. The garden is full of butterflies, but you only need one.
Do you chase endlessly around the garden, swiping with your net to find that 45 minutes has past and you haven’t caught
your first butterfly. Or do you sit and admire the beauty of the garden and catch the first butterfly that lands on the flower
next to where you are sat?

42. Here is another feeling to capture. Self esteem is at its greatest when a young child is presented with a challenge of the
world.

43. Find your support group which may include your friends, family, teachers and leaders. Your very own support group is
not there to agree with your emotional turmoil, but to SUPPORT. They are an important asset, do not abuse them.

44. Balance and Measure… To create harmony, you must understand how to introduce balance and measure into your life.
“Not too much… IT must be done in equal proportions!” This could relate to food, to organizing your time or any function
within your life. Within the last seven days you will have had a moment of balance and measure. It may have been a drink
whilst slumped in your favourite chair. This is a moment of harmony. Capture this understanding and use it to plan the rest
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of your life. Twenty minutes of relaxation could supercharge your batteries and allow you to complete the tasks within your
busy day.

45. Things need to be in order… I once joked that your life will resemble the tidiness of your lounge. Since that original quip
I have had it confirmed in various philosophical studies. Tidy up your life. Bit by bit is fine. Tidy your house, your car, your
finances. Tidy your family problems, tidy up loose ends. All this will reduce stress and frustration.

46. Motivate yourself… You already know this is important, but I would guess you have done nothing about it. The more
organized people around us would introduce into their life anything that motivates them. For many others and I, that would
be motivational books and tapes. Start slowly, perhaps a walk in the fresh air around your local park. This air will invigorate
and freshen your smile and attitude. But more importantly; if it did it once, why don’t you introduce it regularly?

47. Exercise and Sing… I’ve already just mentioned exercise, but don’t underestimate its quality. Don’t use the car for short
trips. Your body produces acids, it burns off fat, it creates an adrenalin buzz. Exercise will lift your soul. Singing is also a
superb drug. People are happy when they sing, happy equals good self-esteem.

48. Identify low self-esteem… This is a major point. If you can see the triggers that catapult you into lethargy, sadness and
depression, you can start working at preventing their magnetism. If you feel any of those emotions, understand what led
you there. It maybe that you’ve discussed the plight of your local sports team and their miserable start to the season. This
introduces a negative emotion. In this state more upon more negative aspects of your life flood in.

49. Invest time wisely… Successful people are well organized at investing their time wisely. They almost expect a return on
their investment. Wouldn’t it be good if you could achieve that? Not in any financial way necessarily, perhaps in a better
relationship. Go and help your work colleague to move house, this investment could develop a relationship. Go and work in
your local charity shop, this could help improve your community image and improve the respect you are given.

50. Break things down... Every new day you will be presented with problems, big and small. Every one of which is
surmountable, all that needs doing is to break the problem down into workable sections.

51. Short and Long Term… This is an important aspect to fully understand. If we plan a goal that is certainly a project that
will take years, we need to avoid expecting to bring the goal posts forward. Short term plans are often smaller or easier to
accomplish and the long term plan has more substance. If you put one into the other category we begin to experience
disappointment, this then leads to negative vibes and an instant route to low self-esteem.

52. Find more time… If you struggle with your daily routine and on just the odd occasion find you need more time, then try
getting up a half-hour earlier in the morning. This sacrifice of sleep will be a good determined effort to keep everything in
order. Or… Go to bed a half-hour later for the same reason.

53. Relaxation or Agitation?… Understand which is which. To sit in the comfort of your favourite sofa chair and watch
television and then witness the daily plights of some soap opera stars is not relaxation. The very term soap opera implies
trails and tribulations of characters within the series. If you can handle these illusionary programs with an amusing and
understanding view, then they are not damaging whatsoever. But if you use a soap opera as an example to clarify a
situation you are going through in your personal life, the program is not relaxing but agitating. Agitation leads to unrest
which leads to a negative attitude.

54. Let go of some commitments… Some ideas sound good at the time, but favours become duties. Write out your day,
write out your week and see what transpires. You’ll should be able to see in an instant what aspects of your busy schedule
can be trimmed. Thinking of your day isn’t good enough, you need to write it down in detail. If you have a fear of writing it
down, this very action is a denial. You will definitely have some skeletons in the cupboard you don’t want to face. A polite
explanation to release your heavily committed schedule is all that is needed.

55. What jobs do you fear?... You maybe a super hero at your place of work, but what about the gardening at home? Try
and identify some tasks that you keep putting off. The actual thought and fear of doing these mundane tasks can cause
lethargy. The task I don’t particularly like I do quite meticulously and consider them as therapeutic; not everyone will have
the same belief and determination. If this fear of doing these horrible tasks is getting you depressed, then teach yourself
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how to delegate responsibility. Do your children get pocket money? I’m sure that mowing the lawn is to be considered a
worthy task, for your children to earn themselves this weekly spend.

56. You are what you think… Life can be considered as being self-inflicted. Think that life is a problem and all negative and
that is the first step in making it so. Think positive and the likelihood that positive opportunities arise will be probable.

57. Don’t be half-hearted… Whilst this maybe considered as a step up from doing nothing, it is only an equal to it. Don’t be
an ‘all mouth and no action’ person. A no action person with good intentions still gets nothing done. The other aspect of
being half-hearted is to do a job, but not do it properly, which could result in doing the same thing again and again. If you
are going to do a job, do it right! If you are big enough to acknowledge that you don’t have the required skill to complete a
task, then get someone else to do it. This allows freedom both within your schedule and your persona.

58. Announce your intentions… This may only work for a few people. If you announce you are applying for a new job, then
those who you tell will ask the next time they meet you. This may be the shove you need to start applying. If you kept the
thought to yourself, the applications may never leave your home office desk. Brag or bust! If you tell, you may take action
and progress, if you don’t the idea will evaporate.

59. Challenge yourself… Surely at some point in your life you’ve challenged yourself. And, in doing so will have found it
exhilarating. If you fail you may be disappointed, but be aware that Thomas Edison experimented over 2,000 times to invent
the light-bulb. In challenging yourself you’ll find it a powerful motivator. Another option to consider here is to make the
challenge good fun or to allow yourself a prize for achieving your goal.

60. Setting goals... Goal setting is powerful, partly because it provides FOCUS. In order to reach our goals we must
become better, we must change and grow. The major reason for setting goals is for what it makes of you to accomplish it.

61. The vision of goal-setting... Goal setting is healthy. It gives us the ability to hone in on the exact actions we need to
accomplish our goal. We get great satisfaction from ticking off our goals; each goal can inspire and motivate, they make us
resourceful and practical. All of these emotions are positive. Positive emotions, equals the likelihood of good health.

62. Evaluate… Where are we now? Where do we want to be? Be realistic, ask yourself about the circumstances you are in
and answer which of them needs changing. Plot in a reasonable and practical way how to progress to your target. Evaluate
your expectations. Expect too much and you’ll be disappointed!

63. Reflect… Reflect upon your daily progress, allow time each day. You may need to tweak your approach. But, if you
spare no time for reflection you could end up ‘off course’.

64. Listen to yourself… In this hurly burly of life we take little time to interpret our very own thoughts. There may be an
important thought, plan or answer trying to get in and because we are walking about with blinkers we never get the
message.

65. Apply SMART goals… Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Sensitive. We want to set our goals so that
our heart conceives, our minds believe and our bodies can carry them out.

66. Become Accountable… Tell a few people of your plans. It is almost like having a verbal contract. These people will as a
matter of course in conversation ask how your plans are coming along. You then become accountable and you’ll find a
driving force to achieve them.

67. Understand the possibilities… If you can see the dream, you can be the dream. Seeing and sensing the possibilities
helps motivate you. If you educate yourself with the possibilities available, the path is easier to select.

68. Explore the understanding… Each insight you come across, one of which will eventually be the one that everyone else
can’t see. The people who are successful see what is not obvious to others.

69. Keep introducing options… The more options you have the clearer the puzzle becomes. Pursue options and you could
travel down a road no other person has considered, allowing you to be the first and the one to experience most.
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70. Set smaller goals… Begin to set smaller more realistic goals. Increase both the regularity and size of the goal as you
begin to achieve them more frequently. This method releases the frustration and guilt you had felt as a procrastinator.

71. Avoid neglecting signs…Along each path will be a serious of signs, not necessarily visible, but they may come along to
warn you of danger. If a door is locked or the phone isn’t answered, could be signs to move onto a different path. If you
ignore these signs you maybe too far down one road to turn around successfully without taking a few bumps.

72. Look inside for you…To apply all these important principles you will need to know the real you. Self discover the inner
self as everything is routed from there. If you look inside for energy and you look too shallow the power will be weak, the
determination will be poor and the effort minimal. Take a dip a little deeper, the strength that arises and determination will
become its own inspiration. Enjoy this deeper dip as you’ll need to visit there again.

73. Avoid having nothing to do… Invariably when you have nothing to do you think or daydream. These cannot be
associated with planning and fulfilling goals. They are just an illusion! When you expect to have periods of emptiness, fill
them with constructive tasks, positive action; rest your attention on a new task.

74. Challenge your own assumptions… If you are good, then you’ll already be high up on the ladder to success. If you are
not, then challenge your assumptions. Being actively stuck with your old beliefs, could be the catalyst that lowers your self-
esteem in the first place.

75. Set up Triggers… Building self-esteem is not just thinking good of yourself, it’s about not thinking bad for no reason.
Say the wrong words and you catapult your emotional state into the gutter. For no apparent reason you start to think bad of
yourself. Begin to see this happening and understand the triggers that take you off-line, whilst introducing other triggers to
bring you back in-line.

76. Building self confidence and keeping it… We tend to batter ourselves far too easily, which can result in; every forward
step we take, we go back two. Building self-confidence is a slow task, but if done properly the confidence stays built. Notice
the small differences as they happen and build upon them.

77. Tolerate and Respect others… We need to foster and develop a good attitude towards others. The moment we cultivate
a hatred towards others, is the moment that we also we feel bad about ourselves and our self-esteem plummets.

78. Avoid being defensive… Being defensive is a typical reaction and sign that your self-esteem is low. You may only half
sense someone wanting to criticize you and your shackles are up and you want to interrupt every conversation with a
defensive remark. You may lack confidence and respond with arrogance and contempt as the last thing you want is to
appear a failure.

79. Avoid trying to impress… Do not focus on trying to prove your worth to others with impressive behaviour. Leading by
example can be impressive and that is okay, but to over emphasize, perhaps by exaggeration, your impressive behaviour
will send your self-esteem very low if your presentation isn’t well received.

80. Don’t harbour bad memories or problems... Whether problems are from your work place or your family life, the longer
you hold onto them without them being resolved, the longer you keep the emotion attached to them. No individual will
present you with a gold watch for your merit in holding onto a bad situation. Start with an intention to resolve it and then
allocate a few moments to dwell on a resolution.

81. Improve your understanding of Competence… You need to have the ability to do what is required. Not just look as if you
know what you are doing.

82. Aim for worthiness… this is not the same as being impressive and slightly different to competence. Each task you
perform needs to be worthy of other peoples expectations. From the moment you receive either communication or body
language as approval of your worthiness, your self-esteem is lifted.

83. Be wary of too much praise… From childhood we have sometimes been over-praised unnecessarily. In an attempt to
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motivate, praise has been used incorrectly as no specific accomplishment has been made. The result is an inflated sense of
worth and as a consequence will eventually be seen as false and your self-esteem will plummet.

84. Encourage accurate self appraisal… Through meaningful accomplishments, we can review the work done and
acknowledge the significance. Reviewing any progress will bolster our attitude and help us to continue to strive for
perfection.

85. It happens at every level… Self-esteem isn’t selective to any one particular category of our community. Low self-esteem
can strike anybody. It could be with relevance to a career, a lover, an event or an occasion. It could be a surgeon about to
do a seminar, or it could be a school teacher addressing a class for the first time.

86. Perception of Self-Esteem… A poor understanding could lead to a confused state of mind. People could think they have
the symptoms, when in actual fact it is something rather tame. This misunderstanding will lead to regular swings of mood
and the likelihood that poor self-esteem will arrive very soon.

87. Self-Esteem in Children… The main fear children have is that of acceptance in the adult world as they leave school.
The extent to which children believe they have the characteristics valued by important adults and peers in their lives, figures
greatly in their development.

88. Improving Children’s Self-Esteem… Parents can play an important role in building a child’s self-esteem. Firstly they
need to take their views and opinions seriously. Secondly they need to acknowledge the value within them. Finally they
need to respect how important self-esteem is for a child’s development.

89. Good self-esteem means… It gives you the courage and adventure to try new things, it encourages you to both lead by
example and feel proud. It gives you belief! It allows you to respect yourself and respect others. It conditions your thought
patterns to get the best out of both body and mind.

90. Avoid Self-Criticism… We all have a little bit of this within us. Criticism can leave the receiver feeling upset, depressed
and rather frustrated, which of course is rarely useful. Muttering, chuntering, mumbling and talking to yourself are often
signs of someone criticizing themselves.

91. Avoid Gossip… It can ruin lives, assassinate reputations, split families, alienate friends and destroy businesses. The
complete opposite of course is a: peaceful life, healthier relationships and overall prosperity.

92. Use Good Words… Would you like your words to soothe instead of sting? Heal instead of hurt? Build instead of burn?

93. Don’t give excuses… Weak and feeble excuses lose you credibility. They almost sound like lies. If there is an element
of truth, nurture that thought of truth and make it more plausible.

94. Jumping to Conclusions…To jump to a conclusion and make an early decision without the proper facts could mean you
have to back-track later. Rarely, which could mean never if you allow it to; will a decision not wait until you have all the
facts.

95. Help others to help yourself… The ultimate aim in improving your self-esteem is to feel better about yourself. Try
helping someone else. To help another will invigorate the soul and bring a smile to your face.

96. Astound yourself… Prove to yourself that you can do this. You’ve almost read 100 ideas, try and practice what has
been said and monitor closely the improvement. It is a common fact that many think they cannot do anything to improve
their self-esteem, because they already feel low. When you are negative you can’t see any positives. Take a step to one
side and apply one of these principles. You’ll be surprised what happens!

97. Don’t repeat… Memories can be triggers for both happiness and sadness. If you know of an area that brings you
sadness, avoid going there.

98. Faith… Over the past five years many professions have studied that those who have a faith are healthier in both mind
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and body. This does not just mean religion, but also a faith in such as wisdom and philosophy. Visit the pages of a book,
listen to therapeutic music. Whatever induces contentment is a faith.

99. Consider the truth… Every decision you make, from what to have for breakfast to a change of career try and allow a
truth to flow. For breakfast for example, try and visit every cupboard where you store food, allow your eyes to rest on the
options and one item will dominate your thoughts; this very thought could be the ingredients your body wants. You may for
example choose fruit to supply the necessary vitamin ‘c’. If the thought arose naturally then you’ll find you enjoy the food
and your body is enriched. If you were to allow this natural process to operate more often and you begin to trust in the
answers it presents; the decisions seem to be pure and much more worthy.

100. Respect yourself… Not in a big way as that will come with time, but respect your next choice. If you choose to leave
your house ten minutes earlier and walk by the lake and your persona is lifted slightly because of the beauty then allow
recognition for that. Respect the smaller movements you make and the big will fall into place like the cog of a wheel.

QUOTATIONS:

“People with high self-esteem seem to attract the best in life” Eva Gregory

“"When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, every
day a little, suddenly the work will finish itself." (Isak Dinesen, Danish Writer)

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” (Seneca)

“Being right is one more good reason for not succeeding.” (Nicolas Davila).

“No good can give us pleasure if we do not share it with others.” (Seneca)

“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”

“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

“You will always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.”

“When you help someone ask nothing in return, you will receive your reward ten times over.”

“Always do your best so you can be proud that you gave it your best shot.”

“Care about the happiness and success of others and offer them all the help and encouragement they need.”

“Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.”

“Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.” (Doris Mortman)

“Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, and too determined to be
defeated.”

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.” (Charles Dickens)

“The present is the future you envisioned for yourself long ago.”

“A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to
avoid trouble.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” (Thomas Edison)
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“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.” (Kobi Yamada)

“If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got.”

“Live each and every day as if it were your last --- because one day you'll be right.”

“You can't choose your circumstances, but you can choose to overcome them.”

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” – (The Buddha)

“If God wanted me Otherwise, He would of made me Otherwise” (Goethe)

“If you want something you've never had before, you're got to do something you've never done before.” (Drina Reed)

“You won't gain respect from others if you don't respect yourself.”

“If you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move.”

“Life is not a dress rehearsal.”

“How can you smell like a rose if you live in the garbage!”

“Never let a shadow be cast over an achievement by an ego that wants to stand too tall.”

“You will never get a hit, if you don't get off the bench and bat.“

“The best way to improve your self-esteem is to understand yourself “

“Everyday, and in every way, I am getting better and better." – (Emile Coue (1857-1926))

“We are what we think we are.”

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." – (Dr. Napoleon Hill)

I hope you enjoyed the book…

Please feel free to respond by visiting the website ‘Wisdom-and-Philosophy.com’ and use the contact page. Thank you.

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