The Perfect President

of the DisUnited States of Northamerica

The principal purveyors of cultural, economic, political and social policy

extending heavy-handed rule over foreign nations, these Death Rattles of
Western Civilization—Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Spain, The
Netherlands, The DisUnited Kingdom, and their kingpin, The DisUnited
States of Northamerica—now find themselves challenged as never before
notwithstanding their often turbulent histories. Having lost any sensing of
authority and/or authenticity, these Concocters of Consent, their consent!,
these Rulers of the Truth, their truth!, these Proponents of Judeo-Christian
“Democratic” Capitalism, their capitalism!, now have their backs against
the wall. Vicious societal agitation against them, oligarchic socialists
(olisocists), is rampant throughout the world. Uncertainty is a certainty.
Foreboding is the order of the day. It is as if a grand conflict, a universal
war (World War III/Universe War I) is looming in the inner selves of
people—still again! Is an Armageddon between The Haves and The Have-
Nots in the offing? A super clash, to outdo all others, set on its deleterious
course centuries ago? Who is going to redeem Western Civilization? Who
is going to pull The Old World out of its nosedive? Who is going to call
the tune for The New Europe? Who is going to skipper us through our Sea
of Hypocrisy? Superman? Batman? Spiderman?

Why not the striking John Sidney McCain III? (McCain in 2012!) No
other Northamerican politician is so in sync with his country’s animating
spirit. His curriculum vitae substantiates my assertion. Born 29 August
1936 of Scots-Irish and English ancestry, McCain III boozed his way
through the DisUnited States Naval Academy (1958) as did McCain I
(grandfather) and McCain II (father)—both four-star DisUnited States'
Navy admirals. McCain III graduated almost at the bottom of his class
(894/899) thus qualifying himself as a potential Commander-in-Chief of
the DisUnited States’ armed forces and manager of the world’s largest
bureaucracy, the Pentagon. During his active duty military career, McCain
III crashed many DisUnited States' Navy jets yet not one of the enemy's
when he served in Vietnam. Nevertheless, like his antecedents, the Navy
brat bombed to smithereens an untold number of Asian people, including
women and children. Quick-tempered McCain III was held prisoner in the
Hanoi Hilton where the erratic hothead dictated the rules to his turnkeys
who stood in awe of his family background and even offered him
repatriation terms because he had made anti-DisUnited States propaganda
confessions. Rank Has Its Priviledges. He is a church-goer, naturally, and
switched from Episcopalian to Baptist in a vote-getting scheme set to woo
the southern DUS’s constituency. With a pathology of power stirring him
on, he divorced his first wife disfigured in an accident, married the heiress
to a beer distributing company who bankrolled the political ambitions of
this pol with a John McEnroe temperament (he smashes million-dollar
Navy jets, not tennis rackets!), and hooked up with Mafia-faced Arizonian
shady characters to realize his political illusions.

The DUS’s citizens are privileged to still have the chance to select this time
a Presidential Professional Bomber, who talks through his teeth, to
represent them all over the world. (The Northamericans are a wonderful
people—if they aren’t bombing you!) With his finger on The Button,
McCain III, the DUS’s first PPB, with a vendetta on his agenda, would
surely bully for the DUS all the way across the globe. He does it his way!
Northamericans should not lose this unique opportunity to select a half-
pint, semi-psychopath who might turn out to be a bona fide Dr Strangelove
character.

Have a nice nightmare!

Authored by Anthony St. John in Exile and Sweating in the Sweltering Heat of Tuscany
1 July 2008
Updated 15 November 2009