Copyright © 2018 by Gustavo Razzetti

All rights reserved. No part of this eBook may be reproduced, scanned

or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
First Edition: January 2018
Published in the United States of America
ISBN: 978-0-9990973-4-2
 CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION
STRETCH 1: CHANGING YOUR PACE WILL MAKE YOU MORE INTERESTING.
STRETCH 2: LEAVE WORK HALF AN HOUR EARLIER THAN USUAL.
STRETCH 3: UNPLUG FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FOR 24 HOURS.
STRETCH 4: DROP THE BALL. ON PURPOSE.
STRETCH 5: GIVE YOUR WORKOUT AN EXTRA PUSH.
STRETCH 6: HELP SOMEONE YOU DON’T LIKE.
STRETCH 7: WAKE UP ONE HOUR EARLIER THAN NORMAL
STRETCH 8: WHY YOU SHOULD GIVE OTHERS A SMILE, NOT THE FINGER.
STRETCH 9: DOING THE DISHES WILL MAKE YOU MORE APPRECIATIVE.
STRETCH 10: GETTING A BETTER MIRROR WILL BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE.
STRETCH 11: CHANGING THE SIDE OF THE BED WILL MAKE YOU
MORE CREATIVE.
STRETCH 12: WHY ‘PULL YOUR SOCKS UP’ IS THE BEST ADVICE EVER.
STRETCH 13: STOP YOUR BRAIN FROM BEING FRUSTRATED EVERY DAY.
WHAT'S NEXT?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 Introduction

S t r e t c h B e y o n d Yo u r
Comfort Zone

When you stretch your mind, you

stretch the world around you.

If you are reading this is because you believe in yourself. You

know that you have what it takes. And want to do more with
your life.

The problem is that most people don’t make their personal

projects a priority. It’s sad. But most people procrastinate
their dreams. That doesn’t mean they are lazy, but that they
allow their routines to get in their way.

Live the life that you deserve. Don’t settle for less.

Social media, watching TV, your day-to-day job, hanging out,

being distracted continuously; that’s why you are not
becoming who you want to be.
When you open and experiment with new behaviors, you can
discover new possibilities. That’s the path to unleash your full
potential

Learning and personal growth happen when you cross the

boundary of your comfort zone.

Since I published my book “Stretch for Change,” I’ve written

hundreds of articles encouraging people to challenge their
daily behaviors. I wanted to provide my readers with
additional small experiments to those included in the book.

Now is your turn. I want you to get started. To start changing

your life, one stretch at a time.

I’ve learned that most people fail to change their behaviors

because they set lofty goals and, after many attempts, they
fail and give up. To increase your chances to succeed, you
need to develop a ‘change mindset’ first. And that takes
preparation and practice.

This eBook is a compilation of exercises to help you achieve

minor changes in your life, but, most importantly, build
confidence. I want you to feel comfortable with being
uncomfortable.

Effective change happens from within. It’s a personal

decision, not something imposed.

I won’t tell you how you should live your life and what’s right
or wrong for you. I will help you build the right mindset for
you to succeed in achieving whatever you want in your life.
The exercises here are meant to help you jump into action.
You don’t need to follow a specific order. Create your own
change journey.

Stretch your Mind. One stretch at a time.

Enjoy exploring beyond your comfort zone.

Gustavo Razzetti
Chicago, Illinois
January 2018
 Stretch 1

C h a n g i n g Yo u r P a c e W i l l M a k e
Yo u M o r e I n t e r e s t i n g .

Let someone else dictate

your speed.

Pace and speed both describe how fast you’re moving.

Runners generally use pace while bicyclists use speed. 8

minutes is the amount of time it takes someone to run one
mile. 18 MPH indicates the average speed a person is biking
at.

We love tracking and recording our pace when we

practice sports, but we are ignorant about our life’s speed.
And clueless about how it affects our perspectives.

Your pace affects your behaviors. Changing your speed

with a purpose can make you a more interesting person.
Let someone else dictate your speed
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.” 
— Fred DeVito

A study conducted by British Council

researchers demonstrated that pedestrians’ speed of
walking can determine the pace of life in a city.

People in fast-moving cities are less likely to help others and

have higher rates of coronary heart disease. There’s a clear
correlation between speed and behaviors.

I’m not advocating for slowing down your life. I want you to
experiment with changing your pace. If your life is fast-
paced, go slower. If it’s slow-paced, pump it up.

Most of us lack awareness of our pace. That’s where

following another person’s pace can help.

If you are always the first to finish a meal, interrupt when

others talk or walk away from a restaurant because there’s a
line, you are living life in the fast lane.

We all move at different paces. But what if we experience

the “same route” at different speeds?

I did that many times. I walked one of the routes I bike

often. And then I drove my car following the same path.

Walking allowed me to appreciate the small details that

were passing me by at 20 MPH. Driving made the distance
felt short; I could connect the different avenues and roads,
and build a mental map of every place I’ve visited biking.
People challenge your perspective too. Walking with
someone who moves faster or slower than you normally do,
will change what you see. And make you more interesting.

Overcoming excuses and fears

“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” —
 Abraham Lincoln

When we slow down, we focus on the details, and can

appreciate the small things. When we speed up our pace, we
can focus on the big picture.

Kids love to sprint. They suddenly run as fast as they can

without reason. And then stop because something caught
their attention. Or just because they feel like it. Kids are
versatile, so should be your life’s pace.

Seniors walk more carefully. Not just slower but they are
more conscious of their surroundings. I remember my walks
with my grandmother before she passed away. Everything
seemed to stop around us. Older adults pause, they invite
us to inner-reflection.

When I bike with my wife, I’m reminded of lowering my

speed. When I’m biking on my own, and join a group of pro-
bikers, I must push my limits. I’m reminded that fast can
always be faster.

I remember once I was recovering from a bone fracture.

Having to walk with crutches not only challenge me, but my
wife too. She had to adjust to my constraints. Walking with
someone that has physical limitations is a reminder of
our own vulnerability.
Other people’s pace gives us perspective. Speed is a
choice.

Do you need to see the big picture because you are stuck on
the details? Do you need to slow down because you are
leaving your team behind? Do you have a hard time
connecting with yourself?

Go out with people that have a different speed than

yours. Let them dictate your pace.

Stretch, reflect & grow

Are you aware of your own pace?

Do you live in the slow, medium or fast lane? (you can take
the pace of life quiz here.)

How did your perspective change when you let someone

else dictate your speed? Why?

What new things were you able to realize when you changed
your pace?
 Stretch 2

L e av e Wo r k H a l f a n H o u r Ea r l i e r
than Usual.

F r e e Yo u r s e l f f r o m B e i n g B u s y

We have a hard time changing our routines. We are afraid of

consequences. Or maybe we don’t give ourselves the space
we deserve.

Reward yourself with the gift of time. Rather than being

stuck doing insignificant things, recover time for yourself.
Don’t waste binging the new Netflix show, use it to clear
both your body and mind instead.

Go for a walk with someone without a clear agenda. Let the

conversation flow. Walk without a clear direction. Let
what’s going on dictate your next turn. Enjoy everything
that happens.

Reconnect with the pleasure of feeling surprised.

Don’t Get Caught by Excuses

“I don’t have time.”

“I’ve already committed to doing some work.”

“How can I get someone to go for a last-minute walk?”

Stretch, Reflect & Learn

Use these questions to reflect once you’ve practiced this new
stretch:

• How did it feel to escape from work?

• What does personal time mean to you?
• How do you feel when you experience downtime?
• What have you learned while talking to
someone without a clear goal?
 Stretch 3

Unplug from Social Media for

24 Hours.

Minimize Compulsive Behaviors

Do you live by your phone? If you get robbed, would you

rather lose your wallet than your phone? Are you checking
your social media apps compulsively?

Overcoming phone dependence is hard.

Truth is: we are not addicted to our phones. We are

addicted to the belief that, those compulsive checking
and interactions, add meaning to our lives.

In reality, our continuous connection to social

media, disconnect us from ourselves.

We have a hard accepting that we can adapt to losing the

“social media-experience.”

Turn off social media for 24 hours. Cancel all alerts

and notifications. Remove all Social apps from your home
screen.

You were able to live without social media before it ever

existed. Recover control over social media dependence.
Recover mindfulness.
Don’t Get Caught by Excuses
“Snapchat is my social lifeline.”

“I will miss important updates.”

“My friend will get mad if I don’t like his latest pic.”

Stretch, Reflect & Learn

Use these questions to reflect once you’ve practiced this new
stretch.

What drives your social media dependency?

What else were you able to do by being unplugged from
social media for 24?

Did you feel compelled to check your updates? How did you
prevent it?
How strong is your will when you want to change
something?
 Stretch 4

Drop the Ball. On Purpose.

Discover the joy of not Being

Indispensable.

In a small dose, responsibility is a good thing. But too much

responsibility can become a burden. Especially the
belief that things will fall apart if we don’t do our part.

We will all leave this world sooner or later. And that’s our
biggest fear. We have a hard time accepting death.

It’s difficult to tolerate that the world will move on once we

are gone.

If you quit your job, someone will replace you. If you get
divorced, someone else will fill that empty space. Things
might take time. But everything always falls into place.

The World Doesn’t Revolve Around You

I’m not encouraging you to throw away your responsibilities
or duties. I just want you to let go of being too responsible.

Let go of some of your responsibilities. Drop the ball. On

purpose.

Discover the pleasure of not being indispensable.

Don’t Get Caught by Excuses
“If I don’t do it, no one else will.”

“People expect me to take care of this. It’s my

responsibility.”

“I tried this before. I dropped the ball in the past and no one
picked it up.”

Stretch, Reflect & Grow

Use these questions to reflect once you’ve practiced this new
stretch.

What role does responsibility play in your life?

What’s the worst thing that you feared could happened?
How did feel by not being indispensable?
 Stretch 5

G i v e Yo u r Wo r k o u t a n
Extra Push.

G o B e y o n d Yo u r P e r c e i v e d
Physical Limits

We all hear that internal voice. It’s telling us that we cannot

hold our breath any longer. Or that the discomfort we
experience is a sign of exhaustion.

But it’s not always true. Most of the times when we start to
feel some pain -physical or mental- we haven’t yet
reached full capacity. You can either follow that voice
(and quit), or you continue pushing.

When I go biking, I set up how miles I want to ride. But

when I reach halfway, instead of turning back, I push myself
to ride an extra mile or two.

Our minds play tricks. We need to create our tactics to

win the mental game
 Go Beyond Your Perceived Physical Limits
You don’t need to overkill your body. I want you to realize
that you more energy in the tank that you normally realize.

“Effort and discomfort go together and that’s what most

people would call good pain — you generally expect to feel
some level of discomfort.” 
— Carly Ryan, Australian Exercise Physiologist

Go beyond your perceived physical limits. Give your

exercise and extra push. And enjoy it!

Run an extra mile. Bike faster than usual. Exercise one

more time per week.

Experience the reward of overcoming your self-

imposed limitations.

Don’t Get Caught by Excuses

“I know my limits. I can’t do it.”

“I’m already exercising a lot.”

“I can’t tolerate pain.”

Stretch, Reflect & Grow

Use these questions to reflect once you’ve practiced this new
stretch:
What tactics did you use to trick your mind?
How did you mentally prepare to push yourself more?
How does it feel overcoming your perceived limitations?
 Stretch 6

H e l p S o m e o n e Yo u D o n ’ t L i k e .

E x p a n d Yo u r W i n d o w o f To l e r a n c e .

Helping those we love seems natural. That’s what friends and

family are for: to help each other, right?

But what about those we don’t like? Helping someone we

“hate” that requires to truly stretch beyond our comfort zone.

We don’t like those who hurt us. We don’t get along

with people who disagree with our beliefs and values. We
dislike those who get under our skin.

We believe that we are better than other people. That’s the

biggest truth of why we don’t like others.

Expand Your Window of Tolerance

It’s hard to get along with everyone. I’m not telling you to
become best friend of someone you dislike. I simply want you
to challenge your current tolerance level. Just a
small stretch.

“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s own

beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of
others.” — John F. Kennedy
Our emotions filter how we see people.

Hate casts a shadow over our relationships. We hate those

who hate us and vice versa.

Put your emotions aside for a day or so. Empathize with

their uniqueness and vulnerability.

Help someone you don’t like. They need help. Try to walk in
their shoes. Ask how they feel. Understand what they are
going through. Give them a hand.

Discover the pleasure of being more tolerant.

Don’t Get Caught by These Excuses

“She won’t accept my help.”

“After all he’s done to me, how can I help him? I never forget
those who hurt me.”

“There are so many good people that need my help, why

waste my energy and time in someone that I hate?”

Stretch, Reflect & Grow

Use these questions to reflect once you’ve practiced this new
stretch.

• Why did you dislike a person in particular?

• How do you deal with tolerance?
• Were you able to reframe the image you have about this
person?
• How did you feel before and after you helped a person
you disliked? What changed? Why?
 Stretch 7

Wake up One Hour Earlier

than Normal.

Challenge your morning routine

I’m not a fan of the 5 AM club. Not everyone is an early

riser. Night owls won’t benefit from starting their day too
early in the morning. We are all different. Not every
recipe works for everyone, as I suggested here.

So, why I’m encouraging you to wake up one hour

earlier then?

I want you to challenge your morning routine, to do

something different and explore what happens. I don’t want
to change how you sleep. Or who you are, for that matter.

I’m not a morning person myself. My highest productivity

point is in the afternoon. I feel more relaxed and focus at
night. That’s when I do my writing. So waking
up too early is hard for me.

Yet, every now and then, I like to go out for a bike ride early
in the morning. It challenges me. But I love riding on the
empty roads. Or to enjoy the feeling that everything and
everyone are getting ready.
Those changing colors, the calm before the storm, are a
powerful source of energy.

Challenge your morning routine

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake
up.” 
—Paul Valery

I’m not asking you to change your sleeping pattern. I’m

inviting you to change your routine and see what
happens.

Radical changes make people frustrated. A small dose of

change is a better way to move us into action. And
experiment.

You can do this stretch just once or one day per week. It’s
your call.

Challenge your morning routine. Read that book that’s

been lying next to you for weeks. Go for a walk with your
spouse. Write your dreams (make sure you keep that page
handy). Meditate. Exercise. Fix something.

Do something you’ve been postponing because you didn’t

have an extra hour.

Enjoy having extra time to do what you want.

Don’t listen to your excuses

“I’m not a morning person.”
“It’s hard to wake up earlier.”

“I will feel tired the entire day.”

Stretch, reflect & grow

Use these questions to reflect once you’ve practiced this new
stretch.

• How did you feel waking up earlier than usual?

• What did you do with that extra hour? Why?
• What have you learned by disrupting your routine?
 Stretch 8

W h y Yo u S h o u l d G i v e O t h e r s a
S m i l e , N o t t h e F i n g e r.

Don’t become a victim of

other’s anger

My bike ride ended amazingly today. But it was this close of

going south.

Biking long distances, on the road, is a journey full of

surprises.

A truck driver assumed the light was green when he started

a left turn. Fortunately, he stopped looking at his
smartphone screen right on time. The driver pulled the
break when I was about to jump off my bike.

A group of kids was riding in the opposite lane of a bike

path. One of them decided to overpass the rest. He didn’t
look ahead when switching lanes. I was approaching him at
24 MPH. I took my chances and headed to the grass. And I
avoided the crash.

There are two safety rules I follow when riding on

the road. Be predictable to others. Anticipate -and react
to- other’s people unpredictable behavior.
I always talk about how our ability to adapt is critical to
growing in our personal and professional lives.

Well, it’s also critical to surviving the road. Not just to elude
accidents, but not to allow anger ruin your ride.

Don’t become a victim of other people’s anger

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty

seconds of peace of mind.” 
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Situations like the ones I described earlier are more common

than not. As a biker, I’m used to being a constant victim of
other people’s distractions.

That’s also true of drivers and pedestrians. But cyclists are

an easier target. Especially when it comes to people’s
anger.

We all have a hard time accepting our mistakes. And we all

make mistakes on the road. When accidents happen, most
people don’t check how the other party is feeling. The
immediate reaction is to blame the other side.

Who wasn’t paying attention? Who was wrong?

Remember my safety rules? Being in a constant state of

defense and anticipation puts us on the brink. Any small
mistake releases our anger.
I cannot control how other people will react. If they want to
blame me for their mistakes, they are free to do so. They can
choose that path. Even if it’s not fair.

I can control my reaction. If I made a mistake, I must be

accountable, not blame it on the other side. If it wasn’t
mine, and I didn’t get hurt, there’s no reason to worry. I feel
good about being safe and continue my ride.

People will blame me even if I’m innocent. Some folks have

a hard time accepting their own mistakes. I won’t let their
anger ruin my ride. Or my day.

It’s not fair. But life is not.

Don’t get stuck. Give them a smile, not the finger.

Don’t become a victim of other’s anger.

Overcoming excuses

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” —

 Bruce Lee

A smile is the best way to neutralize anger. People don’t

know how to react to it. Angry people get caught by surprise
when I smile back at their blame. It’s like disarming an
anger bomb.

My wife taught me this trick. I’ve witnessed it’s effectivity

over and over. Her smile has a more powerful effect than
mine though.
Don’t get caught in a battle. No need to tell them to f@%k
o##. Anger spreads like wildfire. Don’t become a victim
of it. Avoid becoming angry too.

Anger only drives more anger. A smile neutralizes it.

I make mistakes sometimes. And I smile. I run into many

car drivers that I wonder how they’ve got their licenses. And
I smile and wave.

Believe me; it’s not only useful to neutralize angry people. It

will also make you feel good.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer to smile back. The only
thing I want is to continue enjoying my ride :)
 Stretch 9

D o i n g t h e D i s h e s W i l l M a k e Yo u
More Appreciative.

Tu r n c h o r e s i n t o a m e d i t a t i o n .

“Work is love made visible. The goal is not to live forever;

the goal is to create something that will.” 
— Kahlil Gibran

If you are reading this, either you missed the headline or

you want to know what’s the catch.

Sorry. But there’s none.

Scheduling meetings, printing copies of a presentation,

setting up the room, the workplace is full of chores too. And
no one wants to do those meaningless tasks.

We believe small tasks are a burden. Just like doing the

dishes.
Reframe your daily chores into something
meaningful. Enjoy doing them rather than feeling you are
wasting your time.

How we do anything means everything

“Wax on, wax off.” 

—Mr. Miyagi

The movie Karate Kid contributed to one of the most viral

memes on chores. If you haven’t heard about Mr.
Miyagi’s “wax on” training method, no worries. Check this
video.

Its storyline focuses on how an elderly Japanese master

teaches Karate to an impatient teenager.

The only caveat is that Daniel, that’s the boy’s name, never
asked to be taught. Even worse, the training was
disguised as a set of painful chores.

Anything we do should make us proud. But, unfortunately,

the social hierarchy made some activities cooler than
others. If not, check the definition below.
Chore/noun: “A routine task, especially a household one.”
“An unpleasant but necessary task.”

Daniel suffered doing chores.

“Wax on, wax off” turned into a nightmare for our

protagonist. The repetitive tasks felt unpleasant.
Mr. Miyagi was slow-paced but anything but soft. He was
determined to make skeptical Daniel do those chores over
and over.

Every night, after long hard work hours, the kid

was exhausted.

Until, later in the movie, Daniel realizes he wasn’t just doing

chores. He was learning Karate skills and moves. The
master was teaching him the foundation of a martial art
through the repetition of mundane and tedious tasks.

Why does this matter? Because it can help us reframe

our daily chores as lessons in disguise.

Let’s approach them with an open mind and joy. Not

because of the chores per-se, but of what they can teach us
about ourselves.

Turn chores into a meditation

“Before enlightenment, carry water and chop wood. After
enlightenment, carry water and chop wood.” 
—Buddhist saying

Chores can be a burden. Or a way to build your foundation.

Kids run because they want to. Adults run because they
want to stay healthy. Running has become a chore for many.

We are always anxious and busy of doing nothing.

Because we turned everything into a chore. Small tasks feel
like a lot of work. But they are not.
Let’s recover the value of doing small things.

Chores nurture our patience.

Daniel didn’t just learn Karate moves.

Like most teenagers, he was impatient. He wanted to

understand why he was doing chores. Daniel wanted to
master Karate before learning the basics.

We all want to achieve immediate results. But becoming

good at something requires method and practice. And you
can’t accomplish that without patience.

Shortcuts are anything but cheap, as I wrote here.

Chores help us fight laziness.

The brain is a lazy muscle.

If you don’t stretch it often, it will default to the most

comfortable position. It will either choose to do nothing or
take the easiest route.

Six years ago, my cholesterol went crazy all of a sudden. My

doctor asked me: “Do you have someone who shovels the
snow for you? Do you hire someone to mow your lawn?
Well, start doing it yourself.”

While I didn’t exactly follow his advice, I learned the lesson.

We delegate smalls tasks to others, but then we pay the
price.

Now, I always walk from and to the train station instead of

driving. Not only my cholesterol has gone down. I’ve turned
a trivial task in a moment to clear my mind.
Walking to the train station helps me organize my day
and wind down on the way back. It’s also when my best
ideas show up uninvited.

Chores help us recover the pride and joy of doing.

I love cooking. People get impressed by the looks of the
dishes I prepare. What they don’t realize is all the small
chores required to get there.

I have all kind of appliances. But nothing can beat the joy of
kneading with my own hands. Same happens with cutting
vegetables. Sounds trivial but I do it faster and nicer than
with a food processor.

Give me mushrooms, and I can spend hours slicing them. I

appreciate the precision of the knife when I’m focused and
enjoying a simple activity.

Chores help us build resilience.

Daniel had to wax a car multiple times until he learned how
to do it well and fast.

He was beaten many times until he learned how to win a

combat.

No one becomes a Karate master overnight.

The moment when you feel you should abandon something

but you keep trying, that’s when your resilience is built.

Overcoming the burden of doing chores, makes you

stronger.
Chores are a form of meditation.
“We never noticed the beauty because we were too busy
trying to create it.”

Most of us think that meditating is about sitting with our

legs crossed and breathing slower and slower.

Meditation is the training of the mind. Not just relaxing

and slowing down our thoughts.

It prepares our mind to be more adaptive and less

reactive.

Stop worrying about the chores that you have to do.

Train your mind to be more appreciative of what you have

rather than suffering from unfulfilled expectations.

Appreciate doing small chores.

Two exercises to turn chores into a meditation

“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” 

— Buddha

1. Quick Warm-Up
Here’s a simple trick that you can use to reframe how
you talk about chores.
The words we use impact our brain. They can either
inhibit or promote positive behaviors. That’s precisely what
we will practice here: how to reframe our
conversation about chores.

I borrowed this exercise from Bernie Roth, author of The

Achievement Habit.

Choose a partner. You start by sharing a chore that you

“have” to do. The other person will reframe it replacing
“have” by “you want”.

“I have to do the dishes” — you say.

“You want to do the dishes” — the other person replies.

Hearing someone reframing your story into a positive one is

very powerful.

Continue doing this exercise for 2–3 minutes with different

chores. Then switch turns and repeat.

2. Turn doing chores into a meditation

This exercise requires practice to change a behavior. Its
purpose to help become more appreciative of small tasks.

Choose a chore that you want to master or one that you

usually do but dislike.

• Set-up the scenario and remove distractions (phone, TV,

etc.).
• Mise-en-place is a French term that means “set in place”.
It’s one of the first things that is taught to aspiring chefs.
It’s much more than having all the ingredients prepped
and ready to go before you start cooking.
• Mise-en-place is not just about saving time. It’s a
celebration — by setting up the scenario —
 before starting an activity.
• Focus on the activity. If you are going to do the dishes or
clean the kitchen that should become your only priority.
• Start by taking a couple of deep breaths. Focus your
energy on the activity. You want to do it. And to enjoy it.
• Focus on the chore. Capture every detail of what you
do. How can you improve the outcome? How can you
make it feel less repetitive? Try new ways of doing the
chore.
• If you feel distracted, try to re-focus on the chore. You
are not just doing something. You want to become
the best at doing the dishes or chopping the onions.
• Once you are done, clean the space (if
needed). Wrapping up the scene with care increases
appreciation.
• Take a second to appreciate your “art.”
• Repeat and monitor your improvement. You are on a
journey to master a chore. Compare how it feels when
you appreciate chores versus approaching the same task
as a burden.

If you’d ever need motivation, remember Miyagi’s mantra:

“Wax on, wax off.”
 Stretch 10

Getting A Better Mirror Will

B o o s t Yo u r C o n f i d e n c e .

Stop comparing to others

“If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a

better mirror.” 
—Shane Koyczan

Mirrors are vilified objects.

They reflect what stands in front of them. Yet, we blame

mirrors for what we see.

Sometimes we feel cursed about the image

reflected, especially ours. And wish to break the mirror
into pieces. But that won’t improve our image.

I’m not talking about our physical appearance — which

is another reason why we hate mirrors — but how we are
viewed by others.

We often use image and identity interchangeably. Though

both concepts are interconnected, they are not the same.

Your image is what other people reflect.

Don’t let how others see you affect who you are. Stop
using other people as mirrors. It will make you feel much
better about yourself.

Let me show you how.

Mirrors and self-image

It’s not that other’s people opinion matters. We make it

important.

We become slaves of what others see in us. The mirror

is our captor.

The level of insecurity you show in a social situation is

determined by what you believe others think of you,
according to American sociologist Charles Cooley.

His theory of the looking glass self, states that the view of
ourselves comes from how others perceive us. Or, better
said, how we believe people see us.

By trying to please others, you get off-track. The more you

act according to other people’s expectations — our image —
 the more insecure you feel.

Jacques Lacan discovered that when infants recognize

themselves in a mirror, it creates awareness of the ‘I’. The
‘mirror stage’ —The French psychoanalyst’s most significant
contribution — describes the formation of the ‘Ego’ via the
process of identification.
A child identifies — and falls in love — with her
own specular image.

The Ego is responsible for reality testing and a sense of

personal identity.

The ‘mirror stage’ creates a tension between the subject and

the image. As Lacan believed, the Ego is the product of
misunderstanding.

As we grow, that tension worsens.

Our desired image and the image reflected in the mirror do

not always align.Thus, increasing our disappointment.

When you use other people as mirrors, it creates, even

more, confusion about who you are.

Three reasons why you need to change mirrors

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” —

 Coco Chanel

1. What we hate in others is a reflection of ourselves

“The world is a mirror for us — whatever you say about
others is really how you feel about yourself.”
— Deepak Chopra

Projection is a form of defense in which unwanted feelings

are displaced onto another person. Especially when we feel
threatened by the external world.
When we seek other’s approval, this threat becomes more
imminent.

Others reflect our worst flaws. And it’s always easier to see
what’s wrong on the other side of the street.

What drives you crazy about others? That they are

impatient, fat, old, insecure, unprofessional, slow, rude, etc.
You name it.

We hate in others what we hate in ourselves.

2. Others reflect who you were, not who you are

“In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.” 
—Warren Buffett

As Lacan explained, the toddler can get stuck in his own

image at 12 months of age.

That’s the effect that people can have on you.

Your mom, an old friend from high-school or your ex. They

all remember you from what they observed. They reflect the
image of who you were at a certainpoint.

“Remember when you used to…” “You always loved playing

with…” “That’s not you!”

The mirror can provide distorted images.

The same applies to break-ups. After being used to live in

unison with another person, it feels like you’ve lost a piece
of yourself.
What others reflect on you, can quickly turn into a rearview
mirror. And get you stuck in who you were versus who you
are now.

Or you can ignore it and look ahead.

3. Looking at others drives comparison

“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” —
 Queen
“Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a lovely maid I see.
Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Alas, she is more fair
than thee.” — Magic Mirror
“Alas for her! Reveal her name.” — Queen

Trying to find the answers outside, we forget to look inside.

Your in-laws’ one-month vacation to Australia. There were

three famous rock bands at your friend’s wedding party, not
just one. Your ex is now dating a celebrity. The lakefront
house your college roommate bought.

When you compare to others, everyone’s life seems more

interesting.

Comparison blinds your self-awareness.

By trying to be like others, you lose touch with who you

want to be.

Recover your self-identity

“If you are searching for that one person that will change
your life, take a look in the mirror.”
The image that others project of us can help us grow. Like
unsolicited feedback, it can help us see areas we are
missing.

The problem is when, by using others as a mirror, we get

caught into a distortion of who we are. And forget to look
inside.

How you see yourself is what matters most.

Recovering your self-identity is not a simple thing. It’s a life-

long practice. This three-step exercise will help you make
you reconnect with who you want to be.

You can practice in this order or jump into the part that
resonates the most.

1. Stop hating things on others:

• Capture the things in others that drive you crazy.

Anything from physical details, personality traits, their
behaviors to things they possess. Be as detailed as
possible.
• On a second column, write down why each of those
aspects bothers you. Be honest.
• On a third column, try to go deeper and see what each
“why” says about you. Which buttons do they push?
• Select the top 3–5 (based on the things that upset you
the most often).
• Is there someone who made you feel embarrassed about
that thing that bothers you? Who is that person?
• Try to remember the last time that incident happened.
Visualize you taking distance from that person. That
person is a mirror; you are not what he/she reflects.
 • Use the following structure to reflect on each item on the
list:

“I get mad when people do/behave like/ look

like………….………… because I can’t tolerate when I do/
behave like/ look like………………………”.

• Exercise empathy with others and with yourself. Every

time you relive losing your patience with someone about
“X,” take a deep breath.
• “This is something I hate about me.” — Remind yourself.
Be kind to the other person. He/ she is innocent.
• Be kind to yourself. What people trigger on you is not
their fault. Learn to be more tolerant of yourself too.

2. Let go of comparisons:

Write a list of all the things you envy on others or you wish
you can do/ have too. Start every line with “I wish I can do/
have…”

Read the list a couple of times. Scratch/ delete all those

things that feel insignificant.

Review the list again. Now delete all those things you
can live without them.

Read the list one more time. Ask yourself: is there’s

anything on that list that’s critical? Keep only the things that
you can’t live without. Delete the rest.

The purpose of this is to let go of stupid things.

In most of the cases, you’ll end up with an empty list. That’s
the best realization you can have: being happy with who you
are and what you have.
 Stretch 11

Changing the Side of The Bed

W i l l M a ke Yo u M o r e C r e a t i v e .

Disrupt your routine to change

your perspective

My wife and I do not celebrate anniversaries.

We don’t have our own side of the bed for the same
reason.

We purposefully switch bed sides to avoid a “mine” or your”

side territorial approach. But, most importantly, as a small
act to remind us we don’t want to live a life of repetition.

Disrupting our routines helps us see things differently.

Thus, making us more creative.

This sounds trivial, but it’s not.

Small changes can have a powerful impact on our

behavior. Let me show you how.

Your routine can drag you down

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting
different results.” — Albert Einstein
Our routine is a series of habits that we follow without
thinking.

The brain is the most effective organ. It takes the shortest

route, with the least effort, possible. That’s why our brain
loves routines.

Sleeping on the same side of the bed or sitting exactly in the

same place at the table are perfect examples of habits we
do without thinking.

Routines are meant to drive efficiency and

comfort. They provide familiarity at a low-effort. But it’s
precisely its non-challenging mode what drags you down.

Paraphrasing Einstein, following the same routine over and

over, won’t help you generate better ideas.

Your brain is lazy. Like your muscles, it defaults to not

being challenged. But growth and learning only happen
when you stretch beyond your comfort zone as I explain in
my book.

Routines are repetitions. Your brain needs stimulation to

develop new thoughts and ideas. If you want to be
creative, you must disrupt your behaviors.

Disrupt your routine to change your perspective

“Even good, healthy routines can drag us down if we don’t

break them and re-form them from time to time.”
 — Meg Selig
Routines can help focus your time and energy. But they can
make you live on autopilot.

My wife and I, purposefully, don’t have our own side of the

bed. And we normally don’t celebrate “formal” anniversaries
either. We prefer to honor our love spontaneously.

I give her flowers to surprise her, not because I have

to. An unexpected act creates a more profound impact.

Creativity is also a by-product of unexpected connections.

By changing your perspective or doing things differently,

your brain will stretch. And boost your creativity.

Disrupt your routine by practicing these six exercises.

1. Take the long way home:

Following the same familiar route not only feels repetitive
but minimizes surprises. Try altering your way back home.
You’ll discover things that were unnoticed.

Look through a ‘tourist’s eyes.’ When we travel abroad, we

discover things that locals normally miss. They got bored of
taking the same route and stopped observing.

Wandering around or getting lost on purpose is a critical

part of my creative process. Going for a walk is perfect for
finding a solution to a problem you haven’t been able to
crack yet.

Creativity is discovering things that are present, but no

one else is paying attention to.
2. Avoid having ‘your’ side:
Having your side of the bed or always sitting at the same
place at your dining table is not just repetitive. It creates a
sense of possession.

A place becomes your place. That senses of familiarity can

easily become too comfortable. Not only it creates a
boundary with others but also limits your experiences.

The more comfortable you feel within your routine, the

more afraid you’ll be to try something new.

By having “your way” of doing things, you become blind to

other possibilities. And leaves no room for creativity.

3. See things from different angles:

Things are not what they are, but what we observe.

“When you change the way you look at things; the things
you look at, change.” 
— Wayne Dyer

Walking in someone else’s shoes helps challenge your bias.

The same as asking questions. When we assume the
obvious, we stop being creative.

Once I visited my sister abroad, as I wrote here, I asked her

over and over how she liked her coffee. And not because I
had a bad memory.

Every time I asked, I was giving her a chance to experience

coffee in a new way.
Familiarity can get you stuck. If you anticipate other
people’s choices, you are limiting their ability to break their
routines too.

4. Add a physical limitation:

“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it is

lethal.” 
— Paulo Coelho

Force yourself to use your non-dominant hand to write or

brush your teeth. Watch a movie without audio.
Communicate with other folks without speaking.

The brain compensates for lost senses in just minutes, as

research shows. It does so by moving that energy into other
parts of your body.

When every sense works perfectly, we get comfortable.

By introducing physical limitations, you can train areas of

your brain that are underutilized. It also improves your
flexibility and patience.

5. Change your pace:

Going faster or slower than usual is an effective way to
disrupt your perspective.

Letting someone else dictate your pace is a nice way of

letting go. But, most importantly, to change your focus as I
wrote on this post.

When we slow down, we focus on the details and appreciate

the small things. When we speed up our pace, we can focus
on the big picture.
Changing your focus, changes how you see things. And
sparks curiosity.

6. Do the same things differently:

Do you have a specific morning routine? Change its order. If
you take a shower first and then have breakfast, next time
do it the other way around.

Do you have a favorite recipe? Try replacing some

ingredients with others. Do you have a set time for waking
up or dining? Change it.
“The less routine, the more life.” — Amos Bronson Alcott

Switching order, replacing elements or changing your

schedule will help you become more mindful of regular
activities. When you increase your focus and connection
with what you do, appreciation increases.

The same happens with embracing doing chores as a

meditation. A more appreciative mind is more generous and
fertile. Both traits boost creativity.

Experience things for the first time. Again.

Routines are good for productivity. I’m not against
structuring your days. But, repeating your behaviors every
day, narrows your perspective.

Practice disrupting your routine. Don’t be afraid to abandon

your comfort zone. Overcome feeling stuck by
experimenting with new behaviors. See how small changes
to your habits can unleash your creative juices.
Challenging our routines is not easy though. Becoming
more conscious of our daily habits and fighting inertia is
demanding.

But it’s a great reminder to avoid a life of repetition.

 Stretch 12

W h y ‘ P u l l Yo u r S o c k s U p ’ I s t h e
B e s t A d v i c e E v e r.

Build a ritual to get back on

your feet.

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is

what makes it permanent.” 
—Marilyn vos Savant

Life is like a game. It’s full of both wins and losses.

But defeats loom large in our memory.

Being defeated is a temporary condition. What makes it

permanent is our inability to bounce back.

That’s why ‘Pull your socks up’ is the best advice I’ve ever
received. Rituals can get us back on our feet. Immediately.

Let me explain why.

What I’ve learned from being defeated (over

and over)
“Remember when your plans fail, that temporary defeat is
not permanent failure.” — Napoleon Hill

I’ve played rugby for over a decade. And I’ve always dreamt
to be part of my High School A-team. But when I finally
joined it, all I got was the disappointment.

My team was on a losing streak. Defeat after defeat, our

morale was reaching a new low.

Until one day, our English literature teacher overheard one

of our post-defeat complaints. “Guys, you must pull up your
socks.” — She said. And then smiled at us and left.

Great advice — like feedback — is always unexpected. It took

me practice to realize how powerful those simple words
were.

That’s when I realized that bouncing back is the real

victory.

Victory didn’t happen overnight. But our mindset did: we

stopped feeling defeated even after losing a match.

“Pull your socks up” is a British expression: to make an

effort to improve your work or behavior because it is not
good enough. I didn’t just embrace its meaning but also
turned the physical activity into a ritual.

If the other team scored, I checked my socks to make sure

they were in place. To actually pull my socks up was a
message to my brain: I was back on my feet again.
“A daily ritual is a way of saying I’m voting for myself; I’m
taking care of myself.” — Mariel Hemingway

Our behaviors wire our brain. Repeated complaining

rewires your brain to make future complaining more
likely. After feeling defeated over and over, you find it’s
easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of the
match result.

Feeling defeated becomes your default behavior, even

before the match starts.

And it only gets worse. Research from Stanford University

demonstrated that complaining damages other areas of the
brain, diminishing your ability to solve problems and
making intelligent thoughts.

Feeling defeated can have the same effect.

How can you turn the score around when your ability to
think creatively is diminished?

For me, pulling my socks cleared my mind. It reset my

brain.

Build a ritual to get back on your feet

“Don’t let the force of an impression when it first hits you

knock you off your feet.” 
— Epictetus
Most of our brain patterns are developed when we are kids.
Luckily, neuroplasticity has demonstrated that the brain is
not a machine that is fixed. It changes with everything we
experience.

Our brain is always learning how to change itself. We

can train our brain the same way we train our muscles at the
gym. But we have to work up little by little.

Training your brain can reroute its patterns and thoughts as

explained in the book “The brain that trains itself.”

Reset your brain.

Build a ritual to overcome defeat. And be back on your feet

immediately. Follow these five steps:

1. Create a ritual that’s both literal and metaphorical

A ritual is more than an act. It’s a sequence of activities
that have a specific meaning.

The moment, space and the ‘how’ turns an act into a ritual.
It creates an experience that builds meaningful memories.
Having both a literal and metaphorical meaning makes
rituals more visual and compelling.
“Rituals are the formula by which harmony is restored.” 
— Terry Tempest Williams

Repetition makes rituals powerful.

By re-living that experience, you train your brain to feel

more positive.

In my case, every time I pulled my socks up, it was like

starting the match all over.
Regardless of the score, I was feeling like if the game was
just starting. It allowed me to focus on what was going to
happen next rather than if the other team just scored.

2. Reset your brain:

A ritual is a turning point. It can help you prepare to accept
defeat or how you react to it.

You can always score back. After the first half of the game,
there’s still another half to go. You always have a chance to
get even.

“Rituals are a good sign to your unconscious that it is time

to kick in.” — Anne Lamott

Charon Smith — California State Cyclist Champion — was

told that he wouldn’t win a race in 2013. He typed those
words on a piece of paper and hung it up at work.

Seeing those words every day during off-season became

his ritual. A reminder that he wanted to prove the other
guy wrong.

Charon ended up winning the four first races of the

year.

3. A collective ritual has a more powerful effect:

Social support is critical to overcoming defeat. If you are
part of a team build a ritual that becomes part of the
collective behavior.

“Rituals are comforting; rituals combat loneliness.” — John

Irving
Your social network plays a critical role in building
resilience. It’s easier to bounce back as a group than on
your own.

Pulling my socks up felt stronger when the rest of the

team was doing so too.

4. A ritual is a pause to reflect:

Use that moment to improve your strategy not just to
boost your morale.

Prepare for the next match. Do you need to change your

strategy? What skills shall you strengthen to do better?

“Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don’t trust

people who don’t like to eat.” — Gina Gershon

The pause of a ritual helps overcome defeat. Rather than

getting stuck on the loss, you move on. It enables you to
think forward rather than re-living past sad memories.

5. Build endurance to move on:

A loss is not definite. You always have a chance to overcome
defeat.

Use defeat to test your spirit. We all experience losses.

Learning to overcome losing will increase your chances to
win.

When a story I submit to a publication is not accepted, I

immediately start writing a new one. When a client rejects a
proposal, I reach out to a new one.
“Your habits are driving your performance. Your rituals are
creating your results.” — Robin Sharma

If you lose a match, you can win the next one. But that
requires playing rather than staying in the “defeat
mode.”

“Pulling our socks up” not only helped my team overcome

defeat. It shifted our mindset from being defeated to seeing
loss as something temporal.

And our scores radically improved too.

Create your own ritual to overcome defeat. Experiment

until you find the one that works the best for you.

How do you use rituals to get back on your feet?

 Stretch 13

S t o p Yo u r B r a i n f r o m B e i n g
F r u s t r a t e d E v e r y D a y.

Overcome getting upset about

s m a l l d a i l y s t u f f.

Frustration is not something that happens to us. We do it

to ourselves.

Idealists believe things will always end on a positive note.

Perfectionists expect things to occur in a specific way.
Anxious people want things to happen fast. Weak-minded
folks wish life was easier.

We all anticipate outcomes, regardless of our personality.

And, all we get is disappointment. That’s why many of us
have a hard time adapting. We get stuck on wishful
thoughts.

As I wrote in my book Stretch for Change, frustration is a

powerful weapon that’s rooted in our expectations. It can
strengthen our ability to fight adversity or backfire us.

Frustration is the gap between our expectations and

reality.

The larger the gap, the more we suffer.

Stop getting angry about small daily stuff

“Neurons that fire together, wire together.” — Linda Graham

The purpose of this stretch exercise not to eradicate

frustration from your life. The idea is to remove “stupid
frustrations” that are not helping you. Especially those
that repeat on a daily basis.

When you get upset about the same things over and over,
frustration builds up. Trivial things quickly turn into a
life-or-death situation.

“Any experience causes neurons in our brains to fire.

Repeated experiences cause neurons to fire repeatedly.” —
 explains author and clinician Linda Graham — ”Neurons
that ‘fire together wire together,’ strengthening neural
connections.”

The amygdala is the reason why we are afraid of things that

are out of our control. This region of the brain, located in
the medial temporal lobe, assesses every experience, for
safety or danger, and assigns an emotional charge.

What’s triggering frustration in your daily life?

The sink that’s full of dirty dishes although you dined out?
Your teenager’s messy room regardless of your many
reminders? That someone ate a piece of pie you bought for
yourself? Your son who used your car but forgot to fill the
tank?

Whatever is feeding your dose of daily frustration, getting

upset won’t change things for the better.
Why daily frustrations hurt you

When you relive “bad” experiences, you are causing more

neurons to fire in your brain. The negative emotional
charge creates a vicious cycle. You are turning your brain
into a frustration addict.

Each time it happens, you jump faster. And it hurts more

and more.

A healthy dose of frustration can be useful leading

to determination and resilience. But when “stupid
frustrations” take over your life, that’s a waste of time. Save
your energy for when important things go wrong.

One of the reasons why we get stuck and frustrated is the

belief that others want to hurt us. We think they don’t do
what we expect on purpose.

If that’s the case, let go. The world doesn’t revolve around
you.

Repetitive-compulsive reactions will hinder rather than

encourage others to change.

“When we yell at our kids, we impact which brain

structures receive the bulk of that pruning. Yelling
activates structures in the limbic system that regulate
“fight or flight” reactions.” as explained on Mindful Life
Today.

Frustration is a contagious emotion.

If a school teacher gets mad at one kid every time he doesn’t
turn his homework in time, he’ll become frustrated too. The
student will feel discouraged rather than motivated.

Frustration triggers rage. Constant overreacting creates a

perceived unsafe space.

Exercise to remove your daily frustration  

This simple exercise works two-fold:

• It will create awareness. You’ll realize what things

bother you and why. But, most importantly, put into
perspective how trivial events are hurting you.
• It will help you reframe frustration. To shift from
“what you expected” to “accept you can’t control other
people’s behavior.”

The exercise requires patience and method.

On a daily basis, capture each thing that makes you explode.

We are looking for a pattern. Focus on the small things.

Capture those situations that repeat and/ or those that
quickly make you lose your temper.

For each situation write down:

• What happened (i.e., the sink is full of dirty dishes)

• Your reaction (i.e., I cannot believe they did it again. I
started shouting to my kids. I felt like I wanted to smash
all the plates against the wall.).
• How you felt about you (i.e., no one treats me with
respect, they know that I will always fix things for them)
Once you’ve done it for a week, select 3–5 things that repeat
the most. You will focus on those for now.

Use the document below as a guide. The first part we

covered it above.

The second part is meant to help you shift

from “expectations” to “acceptance of other people’s
behaviors.”

Be honest when you describe what you expected. The more

detailed the description, the better.
Be open-minded when writing down what you need to
accept. This will help you get to the core of what
frustrates you.

This doesn’t mean giving up. But to understand your

limitations. Learn to be okay when things don’t go your
way.

You’ve been wiring your brain to get frustrated when the

same scenario repeats over and over.

This exercise will help you rewire your brain and pause,
rather than having a fight-or-flight response.

Good luck ;)
 What’s Next?

Become comfortable with

being uncomfortable .

Be the first to know: Ready to

transform your life? Signup to receive
details of our upcoming online program:
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Learn more about the “Stretch for

Change” approach, read the book:
http://bit.ly/StretchChange

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programs: http://bit.ly/StretchLife
 About the Author

Gustavo Razzetti helps people and teams change

from within. He is the founder of
Liberationist, Behavior Change and author of
the book Stretch for Change.

He has authored over a thousand articles on

innovation, change leadership and self-
improvement. Razzetti participated in the—by
invitation only—Innovation Leadership Program
at Stanford University.

Gustavo has participated in hundreds of

conferences as keynote speaker as well as
facilitated workshops in the US, Europe, Latin
America, and Middle East.

In his capacity advising CEOs of everything

from start-ups to Fortune 500 companies,
Razzetti has transformed teams and
organizations for over twenty years.

Razzetti’s professional experience lies at the

intersection of change leadership, personal
development and innovation.

He has consulted companies in almost every

business category. Gustavo was previously EVP
at Leo Burnett Chicago. Prior to that, he
worked as CEO of Euro RSCG in New York,
Argentina, and Puerto Rico.

Now living in Chicago, Razzetti is married with

two sons. He is an avid cook, road cyclist, and
writer.