The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

by Stephen R. Covey

Habits are powerful factors in our lives. According to Dr. Stephen Covey, a graduate
of Harvard Business School and author of the top-selling The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People, our character is basically a composite of our habits. And, contrary
to popular belief, breaking a bad habit involves more than a little willpower and a few
minor changes in our lives. In actual fact, ridding ourselves of negative habitual
tendencies involves a process of tremendous commitment - one which actually
mirrors life's natural stages of development.

The process of moving from total dependence (infant) to complete interdependence

(adult) could be thought of as progressing along a natural "maturity continuum." We
each begin life as an infant, totally dependent on others. We are directed, nurtured,
and sustained by family and friends. Without this nurturing, we could only live for a
few hours or a few days at most. But gradually, over the ensuing months and years,
we become more and more independent - physically, emotionally and financially -
until eventually we are able to take care of ourselves. As we continue to grow and
mature we become increasingly aware that all of nature is interdependent, and that
the higher reaches of our human nature have to do with forming and maintaining
relationships with others.

Simply put then, dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent
people can get what they want through their own efforts and interdependent people
combine their efforts with the efforts of others to achieve great things.

It's easy to see that independence is much more mature than dependence but,
according to Dr. Covey, it is not the ultimate goal in effective living. Independent
people who do not have the maturity to think and act interdependently may be good
individual producers, but they won't be great leaders or team players. They lack the
qualities necessary to truly succeed in marriage, family or organizational reality. Yet
interdependence is a choice that only independent people can make. Dependent
people cannot choose to be interdependent. They don't have the character to do it;
they don't own enough of themselves.

That's why parts 1, 2 and 3 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People deal with the
concept of self-mastery. They provide the tools we need to move from total
dependence to independence. Then, once we've become truly independent as
people, we have the foundation we need to understand the habits of
interdependence discussed in parts 4, 5 and 6. Finally, the seventh habit, discussed
in the closing chapter of the book, makes all the others possible.

You may choose to read The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People completely
through from cover to cover to gather a sense of the whole book, but the material is
not meant to be read that way. Instead, the book is designed to be a companion in
life's continual process of change and growth. It is organized with suggestions for
application after each section so that you can study and focus on any particular habit
as you are ready. Remember, this book was not written to be a quick fix for all of life's
problems.
Habit One: Be Proactive. While the word "proactivity" is now fairly common in
management literature, it is a word you won't find in most dictionaries. It involves a lot
more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible
for our own lives. Highly proactive people, says Dr. Covey, do not blame
circumstances or conditions for their behavior. Unlike their reactive counterparts,
proactive people are rarely affected by their physical environment. For example, if the
weather is good, reactive people feel good. If it isn't so good, their attitude and
performance suffer. By contrast, proactive people carry their own weather with them
wherever they go. Whether it rains or not makes no difference to a proactive person.

The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of a proactive person.

Proactive people are still affected by external stimuli, but their response to the stimuli
is a value-based choice. As Eleanor Roosevelt once observed, "No one can hurt you
without your consent." In short, it's not what happens to us in life, but our response to
what happens that hurts us.

Our basic human nature is to act and not be acted upon. But, being proactive and
taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious or aggressive. It does mean
following our human nature and recognizing our personal responsibility to make
things happen. Knowing we are responsible for our own actions is fundamental to
every other habit discussed in Stephen Covey's book.

Habit Two: Begin With the End in Mind. One man asked another on the death of a
mutual friend, "How much did he leave?" His friend responded, "He left it all." When
you begin with the end in mind, you gain a different perspective.

Although Habit Two applies to many different circumstances and levels of life, the
most important application of "begin with the end in mind" is to begin today with the
image of the end of your life as your frame of reference by which everything else is
examined. By keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever
you do on any particular day does not violate the criteria you have defined as
supremely important, and that each day of your life contributes in a meaningful way
to the vision you have of your life as a whole. If you consider carefully what you want
to be said of you at your funeral, writes Covey, then you will find your personal
definition of success. Perhaps fame, money, achievement or some of the other things
we strive for every day are not what really matters to us at all.

To use a computer metaphor, if Habit One tells us that we are the programmer in our
lives, then Habit Two says that we should write our own programs. As proactive
people, we can begin to give expression to what we want to be and do. To this end,
Stephen Covey recommends sitting down and physically writing a personal mission
statement. Of course, to do this properly takes time, patience and involvement.
Remember, this book is not a quick fix.

Habit Three: Put Things First. In Habit Three, Stephen Covey deals with many of
the questions addressed in the field of personal management. Personal management
theory, he writes, has evolved in a pattern similar to many other areas of human
endeavor. In social development, for example, the agricultural revolution was
followed by the industrial revolution which eventually gave way to the informational
revolution. Likewise, in the area of personal management, each generation of
thinking builds on the one before it.
The first generation of personal management theory could be characterized by the
use of notes and checklists in an effort to give some semblance of organization to the
many demands placed on our time and energy. Similarly, the second generation
could be characterized by calendars and appointment books. This phase reflects an
attempt to look ahead and plan for future activities and events. The third generation
reflects the current state of personal management. It focuses on setting goals -
specific long, intermediate and short-term targets toward which our time and energy
would be best directed.

While the third generation of personal management theory has made important
contributions to the field, people are beginning to realize that "efficient" scheduling
and control of time are often counterproductive. The efficiency focus has created
expectations that clash with opportunities to develop rich relationships, to meet
human needs and to enjoy spontaneous moments on a daily basis.

But there is an emerging fourth generation that is different in kind from all of its
predecessors. It recognizes that the challenge is not to manage time but rather to
manage ourselves. Habit Three goes to the heart of effective personal management.
It deals with things that are not urgent but are important, such as building
relationships, exercising, preparation and preventative maintenance - all those things
we need to do but rarely get around to doing because they aren't urgent. The object
of Habit Three is to teach us to manage our lives from a center of sound principles
with a focus on balancing the urgent with the important. To return once again to the
computer metaphor, if Habit One says "You're the programmer," and Habit Two says,
"Write the program," then Habit Three says, "Run the program." Running the program
is primarily a function of our independent will and our commitment not to short-term
goals but to correct principles and our own deepest values which give context and
meaning to our lives.

Habit Four: Think Win/Win. Whether you're the president of a company or the
janitor, the moment you move from independence to interdependence you step into a
leadership role. And the habit of truly effective interpersonal leadership is to Think
Win/Win.

Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all
human interactions. With a Win/Win solution, all parties feel good about a decision
and are committed to a common plan of action.

Roger Fisher and William Ury, two Harvard Law professors, have done some
outstanding work on this subject in what they call the "principled" approach versus
the "positional" approach to interpersonal bargaining. They suggest that the essence
of principled negotiation is to separate the person from the problem, to focus on
interests and not positions, to invent options for mutual gain, and to insist on external
and objective criteria that all parties can buy into. Stephen Covey firmly supports their
approach. In fact, Habits Five and Six deal directly with several elements of this
strategy.

Habit Five: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. We all have a

tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But often we fail to take the
time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.
According to Dr. Covey, the most important principle in the field of interpersonal
relations is to Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Many people do not
listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. They're either
speaking or preparing to speak. Yet, next to physical survival, the greatest needs of a
human being are to be understood, to be validated and to be appreciated. Seeking to
understand, therefore, is an extremely powerful habit of effective interdependence.

Habit Six: Synergize! When Sir Winston Churchill was called to head up the war
effort for Great Britain, he remarked that all of his life had prepared him for this hour.
In a similar sense, the exercise of Habits One through Five prepares us for the Habit
of Synergy.

Synergy, simply defined, means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It
means that the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of
itself. Valuing differences is the essence of synergy - the mental, emotional and
psychological differences between people. And the key to valuing those differences,
writes Stephen Covey, is to realize that all people see the world not as it is, but as
they are. When someone disagrees with you, you can say, "Good! You see it
differently." And you don't have to argue with them, you can simply affirm them. And
you can seek to understand.

When you see only two alternatives - yours and the "wrong" one - you can look for a
synergistic third alternative. And if you work with a Win/Win philosophy, you can
usually find a solution that will be better off for everyone concerned.

Habit Seven: Sharpen The Saw. Habit Seven is all about preserving and enhancing
the greatest asset you have - you. It's renewing the four dimensions of your nature:
physical, spiritual, mental and social.

The physical dimension involves caring properly for our body by eating the right kinds
of foods, getting sufficient rest and exercising on a regular basis. Renewing the
spiritual dimension provides leadership to your life just as a commitment to life-long
education provides vital mental renewal. Finally, while the physical, spiritual and
mental dimensions of your nature are closely related to Habits One, Two and Three,
the social dimension focuses the principles of interpersonal leadership and effective
communication enshrined in Habits Four, Five and Six. Success in the final three
Habits is not primarily a matter of intellect; it's primarily a matter of emotion. It's highly
related to our sense of personal security, which comes from sources within
ourselves. Living a life of integrity, says Stephen Covey, is the only way to achieve
personal security and to realize the important social dimension of human nature.

To sum up, then, if we take nothing else away from Stephen Covey's book, we would
do well to remember that change - real change - comes from the inside out. It doesn't
come from hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior with quick fix personality
oriented techniques. It comes from striking at the root; at the fabric of our thought that
gives definition to our character and creates the lens through which we see the world.
It isn't an easy process. But it is possible. It begins with the desire to center our lives
on correct principles and to rid ourselves of unworthy habits.