Alexie should write more optimistically about phrase fragments

the li fe for American Indians . Alexie has Saia

that he wants people to be provoked by wha t h hrase is a group of words that does not have a subject and a verb.
writes and he seems comfortable with making e ~ en a phrase is separated from the sentence it belongs with, it
people uncomfortable at times . As a talented becomes a phrase fragment.
and productive writer , who both enjoys criti -
cal success and a good fight , Alexie is l ikely GMENT I found my sister in the den. Making origami swans out
to continue to shape t he way we see contempo- FRA of blue and green paper, [participial phrase fragment]
rary American Indians . NTENCE I found my sister in the den making origami swans out of
SE blue and green paper.

FRAGMENT
Obstacles to Clarity My sister is good at figuring out how to do things. With
very little instruction. [prepositional phrase fragment]
In this part of the chapter, you will learn how to check your writing SENTENCE My sister is good at figuring out how to do things with very
for some common obstacles to clarity: sentence fragments, nm- 011 little instruction.
sentences, and unnecessary shifts.
FRAGMENT She just sits down and gives herself enough time. To ensure
her success. [infinitive phrase fragment]
Sentence Fragments SENTENCE She just sits down and gives herself enough time to ensure
A sentence expresses a complete thought. If you punctuate a part of a her success.
sentence as if it were a whole sentence, you create a sentence fragment.
FRAGMENT Later, my sister made me two beautiful objects. An origami
Fragments are usually confusing because the reader has to puzzle out
snail and a fish. [appositive phrase fragment]
the missing information. SENTENCE Later, my sister made me two beautiful objects, an origami
FRAGMENT In 1929, the global economy into a worldwide depression. snail and a fish.
[missing verb]
SENTENCE In 1929, the global economy collapsed into a worldwide Subordinate Clause Fragments
depression.
A subordinate clause has a subject and a verb but does not express a
FRAGMENT We observing the bacteria through a powerful microscope. complete thought. Unlike an independent clause, a subordinate clause
[missing helping verb] cannot stand on its own as a sentence.
SENTENCE We were observing the bacteria t hrough a powerful
microscope. FRAGMENT Sea urchins have long, moveable spines. Which
they use to push themselves across the ~i
FRAGMENT Photographed families who were victims of the Great
Depression. [missing subject] SENTENCE
ocean floor. [adjective clause fragment]
Sea urchins have long, moveable spines, which _--t~;i
: I 1, ..
•
. -
SENTENCE Dorothea Lange photographed families who were victims they use to push themselves across the ocean floor.
....~ ~·'. ·., '\i' 'i\ ·'
of the Great Depression.
••

•
FRAGMENT Sea urchins can also be eaten in sushi. After they

ft !.-.•;,\111:

-
have been harvested from the sea and prop- ,
FRAGMENT By closing the park to bicycle riders and skateboarders. [not a . .. =::
erly prepared. [adverb clause fragment]
complete thought- missing subject and verb]
SENTENCE Sea urchins can also be eaten in sushi, after they
SENTENCE The city tried to cut down on accidents by closing the
have been harvested from the sea and properly Iii II!
~
,'\
park to bicycle riders and skateboarders.
prepared.
11N Sea Urchin

480 f j§ijfl Writing Clear Sentences

Obstacles to Clarity 481
 -lFvtCW hMfZTiTY:Z:-:: .....! f f l l ~• . -•ifiliii!.:::;=.:;J"c:
::;

NOTE , A complete sentence is usually the clearest way to express a
thought. However, experienced writers sometimes use fragments for
stylistic effect. For example, in the following passage, notice how each
fragment creates a precise image and how, grouped together, the
fragments recreate the rhythm of a child's day.
There had been a fight about who was to be " It"
next. It had been so fierce that their mother had
emerged from her bath and made them change to
another game. Then they had played another and
another. Broken mulberries from the tree and eaten
them. Helped the driver wash the car when their father
returned from work. Helped the gardener water the
beds till he roared at them and swore he would com-
plain to their parents. The parents had come out, taken
up their positions on the cane chairs. They had begun
to play again, sing and chant. All this time no one had
remembered Ravi. Having disappeared from the scene
he had disappeared from their minds. Clean. ' two years doing graduate work in Europe.
Anita Desai, "Games at Twilight"
You can use fragments occasionally in expressive and creative writ-
ing such as journal entries and short stories. For example, you might use
fragments in dialogue to capture the natural sounds of your characters'
speech. You can also use fragments in classified ads and other types of
writing where an informal, shorthand style is appropriate. However,
avoid fragments in informative writing such as research papers and
reports. Because your readers expect formal, straightforward language
in this type of writing, fragments may confuse your message.
Elizabeth Blackwell was born in 1821 A d d. d .
,,
2J. In 1832, her parents tmm1grated
. . · n 1e 1n 1910.
with their e·1ght •h'ld N
• c I ren to cw
York. To escape an unpleasant social and political situation in
Bristol, England.
3• Because of the financial plight of her family. Blackwell and her
mother established a boarding school.
4. A friend of Blackwell's encouraged her to become a doctor. At first,
Blackwell totally rejected this suggestion.
5. Eventually, Blackwell became interested in the idea of becoming ,1
doctor. Leading her to investigate the possibility of a woman
studying medicine.
6. She became even more determined to follow her friend's advice.
After she was told that a woman could not become a doctor.
7. In 1847, Elizabeth Blackwell was admitted to the Medical Institu-
tion of Geneva College. Which is now known as Hobart College.
8. She became the first woman in the United States to earn an M.D.
degree. When she graduated in 1849 at the head of her class.
9. Elizabeth was not content with these honors. She spent the next
JO. In 1857, Elizabeth Blackwell established the New York Infirmary
for Women and Children, a hospital staffed by women. She opened
the hospital on May 12, the birthday of her friend Florence
Nightingale.
Run-on Sentences
A run-on sentence is just the opposite of a fragment. It is made up of
two complete sentences run together as if they were one sentence. Most
run-ons are comma splices-two complete thoughts that have only a
com ma between them. Other run-ons, called fused sentences, have no

•# @fojj Revising to Eliminate Fragments

punctuation between the two thoughts. The following examples show
four ways to correct run-ons. ITIPs & TRICKS I
Like fragments, run-ons
Some of the following items contain sentence fragments. Revise each RUN-ON Naomi longed to make the basketball team, to achieve her usually occur when you are
item by combining any fragments with the adjoining sentences. Move goal, she practiced every afternoon. writing in a hurry. To avoid
CORRECT Naomi longed make the basketball team. To achieve her goal, fragments and run-ons,
or add words and punctuation marks as necessary. If the item is
already correct, write C. she practiced every afternoon. [two sentences] give yourself enough time
to draft complete, effective
EXAMPLE 1. We are studying Elizabeth Blackwell. This week in class. RUN-ON She tried several exercises, her skills showed no improvement. sentences and to revise
them for clarity. It may help
1. This week in class, we are studying Elizabeth CORRECT She tried several exercises, but her skills showed no
to put your draft away for
Blackwell. improvement. [compound sentence with comma and a day, and then return to it
ccor ;,nating conjunction] with fresh eyes.
482 f •frji@ Writing Clear Sentences
Obstacles to Clarity 483
 RUN-ON
CORRECT
Naomi worked hard, she was persistent.
Naomi worked hard; she was persistent. (compou nd sentenc
with semicolon]
Her hard work paid off later she made the team.
e
u11n e cessary Shifts in Sentences
I •ry, it is usually best to keep the sa me subject and the sa me verb
can
for throughout a sentence. Unnecessary shifts in subject, ten se, o r
forrn
"oice can
make a sentence awkward to read .
fT""jps & TRICKS

Often, the best way to cor-

rect a shift in subject and
voice in a compound sen -
I
~
RUN-ON Her hard work paid off; later, she made the team . (co Shifts in Subject tence is to create a com -
CORRECT sentence with semicolon plus conjunctive adverb] rnpounct pound verb. Just omit the
Note tha t so m etimes, especially in short compound sentences, a shift in
second subject and place
bject is necessary to express your intended meaning. In the fo llowing the second verb in the

•'ffU:WC
a Rev1sin
. - g Run-on Sentences
_
:~ntences, the shift in subject is natural. same voice as the first .

Revise eac o t e ,o
have learne d . Use eac h Of
EXAMPLE
I COMPUTER TIP •
Some word-processing pro- ""
grams have a tool to check
grammatical constructions.
This tool can find frag-
ments and run-on sen-
tences for you to revise. It
is still wise, however, to
double-check for fragments
and run-ons by re-reading.
IO. Stretching before and after exercise improves flexibili ty and lessens
. h f h , !lowing run-ons by usmg o ne of the methods you NATURAL SHIFT Jessica jumped off the high diving board, but no one AWKWARD
saw her. Julio Cortazar attended
the four methods at least once.
the University of Bue nos
I'll pa int the background, and you can paint the birds Aires, and then literary
1
. 1 run cross-country on my school's team, I get regular
and trees.
exercise. translation work was
_ I run cross-country on my school's team, so I get regular done.
1 Most ofte n , though, a shift in subject is awkwa rd and unnecessary.
exercise. BETTER
[n the following exampl es, notice that each sen tence is much clearer Julio Cortazar attended
I. Exercise can increase the efficiency of your muscles, it can increase when it has the same subject throughout. the University of Buenos
your muscles' strength and size. Aires and then did literary
AWKWARD The Mullaneys have a new puppy, and the shelter is where
2. Aerobic exercise helps your body supply oxygen to muscles, it they found it. translation work .
increases the efficiency of the production of ATP, adenosine BETTER The Mullaneys have a new puppy, and they found it at
triphosphate. the shelter.
3. ATP is a biological molecule scientists consider it the cell's fuel.
4. Some of the energy from food molecules is stored in ATP a steady AWKWARD All runners should be at the track by 7:00 so that you can
supply of ATP is essential to cell functioning. pick up your registration forms.
5. With aerobic exercise the heart pumps more efficiently, then the BETTER All runners should be at the track by 7:00 so that they can
number of blood vessels in your muscles increases. pick up their registration forms .
6. Aerobic activities include walking, biking, jogging, and swimming
people who regularly exercise aerobically can expect such activities Shifts in Verb Tense and Voice
to become easier over time. Unnecessarily changing verb tense or voice in midsentence can also Reference Note
7. Exercise has beneficial psychological effects, too, it improves mood create awkwa rdness and confusion. Stick to the tense and voice you I For more about tense,
and reduces depression and anxiety. start with unless you have a good reason for changing. see page 19B. For more
8. Regular exercise boosts your resistance to fatigue, it also d ecreases about active and pas-
AWKWARD Aldo talked about going to the North Pole, but then sive voice, see page 211 .
tension and sleeplessness. he goes to the Antarctic. (shift from past tense to present
9. People just starting an exercise program should build gradually tense]
from an easier workout to a harder one trying to do too much too BETTER Aldo talked about going to the North Pole, but then he
soon can leave a beginner quite sore. went to the Antarctic. (past tense used in both clauses]
the chance of in1·ury, co o 1·mg d own prevents d1zzm
. . ess, muscle AWKWARD The cat asks to go out, and then it always wanted to come
cramps, and nausea. back in.
BETTER The cat asks to go out, and then it always wants to come
back in .

484 f•@d@ Writing Clear Sentences

Obstacles to Clarity 485