IZZY VICTORIA PEREZ-POULSON

PILOT NARRATIVE
QUARTER 1
EXHIBITION DATE: 10.30.18
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Themes from Quarter/Semester - Page 2

Projects - Page 5

Subject Areas - Page 10

Transferable Skills - Page 11

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Independent Learning Skills - Page 13

Bibliography - Page 15
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This is my last year in the Pilot, my last year in high school as well and I finally feel like I
have figured it out, this whole learning thing. Yes, thank you for the applause it took me two years
to figure out how to learn in the best way possible for myself. Two years of trial and error, I now
know that for the arts structure is my kryptonite, for language, structure is key, and for English I
need to take normal classes.
This works for me.

Over this past quarter I have been refining my independently learning skills by reflecting
upon my performance last year and looking for areas where I could improve. Upon reflection the
areas that needed improvement were, time management and general initiative. Last year starting
the second in the semester I did make an effort to be more organized. I made calendars, weekly
schedules and kept track of meetings with advisors and mentors and times that I wanted to do
during the day. Alas, the follow through was lacking and the goals I made for myself were always
unmanageable.
The other thing that needed improvements was general initiative. Although I did make an
effort to plan last year, only about half of the events and work time I had scheduled I genuinely
spent time working. This and following through are similar I realize, but I would like to speak more
in depth about it. I don't remember much about this theme last year besides feeling guilty for not
doing as much as I should, and I wasn't doing as much as I should have. I would over think the
activity I planned to do then I would make excuses to not do that activity or the whole “I could just
do it tomorrow” deal. Throughout this quarter I have unintentionally changed my mindset to if I
need something or I need to schedule a meeting, glaze a pot I would do it or plan time to do it.

Fail Better

“Any form of human creativity is a process of doing it and getting better at it. You become a
writer by writing. There is no other way so do it. Do it more. Do it better. Fail. Fail better.”
-MARGARET ATWOOD

Through this quarter I have had a number of both successes and setbacks. The quote above I
have thought of in context of my pottery study, because I have not don't pottery since Freshman
year and starting out my skills were a little shaky. I am used to being about to use a medium without
a lot of difficulty (acrylic is pretty straight forward), but with pottery there are so many skills to
learn that are not obvious. Starting out I flopped at least three bowls and a cup, but I kept going
because I can't just give up in the beginning of the first quarter. The “fail better” applies to the
writing that I do after I spend time in the studio, I write about what I did and why I did it. If
something went wrong I would reflect on my actions to see where I went wrong and how I can
improve next time.
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I have been talking with Adriana, an Exchange student from Merida, Yucatan every Friday
callback to improve my conversational Spanish. Speaking to a native Spanish-speaker is so helpful
but at times it can be intimidating and discouraging, this is not Adriana’s fault, I am learning
Spanish but at a pace that I feel is too slow. Speaking with her has helped me realize how much I
need to practice vocabulary, conjugations, and accents.
In a meeting I had with Meg I brought my paintings, Laughing Woman and Giants, to her
house to get some constructive criticism. In this meeting Meg had pointed out that the perspective
of the painting was way off, and that I needed to change it to make it look realistic, as realistic as a
giant sand guy in the desert can be.

You become a potter by making pottery.

You become a Spanish-speaker by speaking Spanish.
You become a painter by painting.

All of these examples are instances where I need to do, to be.

Growing

This year I have made a stronger effort to manage my time and plan work time, meetings,
short term goals, as well as long term goals. Through my time in the Pilot, students in the program,
my advisors, and Amy have all suggested that I plan out my time. In the first year I completely
disregarded this suggestion, in the second year I started using the suggestion, and finally this year I
am using it and I enjoy it. I don't feel stressed about everything because I set a time to do certain
things.
While on the topic of schedules I have been following through with my planned time more
than last year, but there is always room for improvement. I have noticed that I have been taking
more initiative in my studies this year. If I need to work on a clay piece I will spend time in the
pottery studio, if I need to paint I will paint, if I need to talk to someone I will talk to them, whereas
last year I would procrastinate and make excuses to not do whatever I needed to do.
Now that the people I thought of as leaders in the Pilot have graduated, the program needs
students to step up and take their place, and I have been trying to do this over the first quarter. I
have been trying to set an example for other Pilot students who need guidance and I am actively
making the Pilot room a working environment (though I am off task sometimes).

Equal Effort

This quarter my biggest mistake was not putting equal effort into all of my studies. I spent a
lot of time in the pottery studio compared to dedicating time to painting and reading in Spanish.
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Though I think I did enough to get a credit, I did not do enough to please myself. From this mistake
I learned that I need to do more equal work on all of my projects in order to feel complete.

A Final Thought

I feel that I am growing to know who I am, as a learner, as a soon to be adult, and as a
person. Over the summer there was a shift in my mentality and maturity, I feel I see things clearly as
they are. I know now that I need to start planning my life after high school, that I need to get a job,
that I need to apply for scholarships then college, and with all these goals and responsibilities
looming over my head, it has given me a new perspective on life and time.

“I was talking to Amy on Thursday or Friday about this, about seeing things in terms of
time frames and goals, and she said "doesn't it feel great to achieve a goal" Something along
those lines, And yes it does. I like planning, I like following through with things, I like
focusing, and I like working.”1

I feel as though this mental change is the first step in becoming a professional learner, and
that I am growing into the person I knew in the back of my mind I would be.

1
Quote from Blog 10.2.18
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PROJECTS

Portfolio: [ http://ivpp.weebly.com/ ]

Spanish

I want to learn Spanish so that I can communicate with my family in both English and
Spanish, I would like to speak Spanish so that I can connect with my own culture and explore the
world inside and outside the United States. Here are the goals from my learning plan:

1. I would like to practice reading and writing in Spanish, because writing is an expressive
outlet and because reading is a very full proof way to be exposed to new vocabulary and to
see verb tenses used in context.
2. I would like to improve and expand my vocabulary, and practice verb tenses.
3. I would like to practice conversational Spanish because speaking is a common form of
communicating than reading or writing. I would like to connect with people and speaking
makes connection easier.
4. I would like to study Mexican American History, and educate students about important
social movements.

This past quarter I have been reading “Los Cuatro Acuerdos” by Don Miguel Ruiz a book
giving the reader life advice and talks about how society domesticates the mind from when we were
young. The book does a good job of showing me new vocabulary and verb tenses. I got to page 52
but I set a goal of finishing the book which is another half and then some. I have been writing in my
journal taking notes on the book keeping track of key points, most of the ideas in the book are
complex and it takes a while to digest.
I have been talking with Adriana, an exchange student from Merida, Yucatan, in Spanish
every Friday callback. It is very helpful to have someone to talk to who is a native speaker who can
correct me in conversation and tell me about sayings, and I appreciate the time she is giving me! As
I mentioned before being around a native speaker when I am learning can be intimidating, it just
accentuates how beginner I am. I notice this happen when I am talking with my Tata as well, while
the conversation is happening I freeze and most of my knowledge just floats away.
Other than that I have drafted the presentation I will give in Adam’s Spanish 3 class.

Improvements
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Repetition! Repetition! Repetition! I need to read, write and speak MORE in order BE
BETTER at speaking, reading, and writing. Reading every day and frequently studying vocabulary
and verb tenses will help. Speaking with Tata will help, we need to meet at least once a week.

What Next?
Repetition! Repetition! Repetition! Daily practice with reading, writing, and listening to
review vocabulary and general review, listening to podcasts in Spanish will help with accents and
vocabulary. Continue speaking with Adriana and start speaking with Tata!

Painting

My painting project at the moment is finishing the paintings that I have not finished from
Junior year and making small paintings/sketches. The goals in my learning plan are:
1. I would like to incorporate respect of space and material into my artistic process. Respecting
space and material is a practice I would like to incorporate into my life and I will start with
my artistic process.
2. I would like to create small water color paintings of my character Bee and
drawings/paintings other silly characters to let out my silly ideas.
3. I would like to do an artist response once a week and write a blog post about it. I haven’t
been good at doing this the past two years and I would like to get to know other artists this
year.
4. I would like to go to Still life classes every other Thursday or so to work on painting skin
tones NOT DRAWING, I have beaten that dead horse 6 feet into the ground.

As I have been painting this year I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how I paint, asking
myself questions like; Am I actually good at this? How do I communicate through images? What
am I trying to say?Why am I doing this?...Why am I doing this? Why do I create? Now, I have been
thinking about this and I have an answer finally. I create because I need to, because my life
happened in such a way that art is what I am destined to do. When I was a child my Mom nurtured
the artistic side of myself and told me to accept it and love it. She told me stories of my Abuelita
Gloria, about how she made paintings and ceramics and took them to craft shows. Art has always
been there, it understands me when no person does. Creating art is who I am and I am the art that I
create. Creating is as important as eating, drinking and finding shelter. I love my artwork, as I have
said before in the pilot, my artwork is an extension of myself, just as I am of it.

Laughing Woman
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Anyway, I have spent most of my painting time on Laughing Woman, I love this painting, it
is the first painting that I have had to paint a background on. My objective for this quarter was to
finish this painting and Giants, but the Laughing Woman painting needed more work than I had
anticipated. The things needed to be done were: the face, the hair, the milagro, the arms, the sky
and the background, see not too much. The only things left that I need to finish are the third eye,
the background, the sky and the arms, and apparently the nipples.
I realize that I should probably start explaining what my paintings mean to me. This
painting is a part 1 of a series of 2 depicting my relationship to the desert, in this painting it is
meant to represent my relationship with the culture of the desert, or at least culture of El Paso and
being Mexican American. The painting shows the woman becoming part of the environment
around her, growing accustomed to the desert landscape. The woman is burdened by her own
culture, the milagro piercing her chest represents the rejection of the Chicano/a people from the
Mexican and the American communities. The woman is smiling, because in between these
communities that have rejected the Chicano people, we (Chicano people) have found a way to form
our own culture, our own community from what we remember of our Mexican ancestry and what
we learned from the American culture.

Giants
I haven't worked on Giants at all in terms of putting paint on the board but U have
redesigned it because of advice Meg gave to me in one of out meetings. I have only had one meeting
with Meg (I know it’s bad), and during that one meeting we looked at my paintings and tried to find
what needed to be changed. Meg took one look at Giants and said, “Well, the perspective isn’t right”.
As usual she was right and we had a mini lesson on what the proper perspective would be. I
sketched the right perspective for the painting then made another sketch but with color and
technically it looks right. But, something was wrong. The original painting had a certain feel to it, it
felt empty and vast, open, it did not feel intimidating. The new design felt intimidating, the angle of
the yucca plant, the giant taking up most of the sky, it wasn't what I was trying to convey. That got
me thinking, what am I trying to convey. After doing some digging I found I was trying yet again to
convey my relationship with the desert though this painting. What is my relationship to the desert?

“It is a place where I feel insignificant and important; place where all of my shortcomings
are under a spotlight; where I see what I want to be and how I am not that; though I know
that self image is flawed, preferring appearances, competition in intelligence. Trying
extremely hard to stand out in a crowd and failing miserably. It is a place of familiarity, my
family’s culture. Where I am welcomed and rejected, where I am judged and accepted.
Capitalism, hope, despair. Self Centered and comunal...A love-hate relationship.”2

2
Quote from my Blog 10.15.18
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Up until this point I didn't question what I saw, I just painted whatever came to me.3 I
wanted to show other people what I saw but I never dug deeper to see what my subconscious was
trying to communicate with me. Now I am trying to find the message and incorporate what I know
about the meaning of the painting into the painting itself.

Wiggles
The wiggle drawings are all the extra drawings that I make besides the bigger art projects,
this quarter I did at least 7 which is close to my goal of 10. One of the wiggle drawings was a comic
page, but it was painted. It was a girl in a pink dress runs down to the beach and meets a girl there. I
was thinking about animating this but I barely know how photoshop works, for the next quarter I
will develope the story of this girl and her friend.

Routine
Routine is an art project that I decided to do as an experiment with a few purposes. I wanted
to see if drawing the same shape over and over and over again would shift the way you viewed the
space (being my room), I wanted the environment of my room to be more focused and present. I
set the amount of time I spent on this to 20 minutes every day when I got home from school. I
started drawing the circle with charcoal but as the project went on it was harder to see the
repetition of the piece so I switched to pencil. As I made this piece and I kept drawing circle after
circle it became very meditative, every time I finished drawing my mind was empty of thoughts. As
I was making this piece I was thinking about how this was the first piece I made in my life where I
was not planning or concerned about how it would look in the end, this piece was completely about
the process.

Improvements
For this next quarter I will spend more time on other paintings and I will not wait till these
paintings are done to start new paintings. I will also be planning out what I will be doing before I
start painting, ex. Work on hair, eyes, and background today. For next quarter I need to invest in an
easel to save my poor back.

What Next?
I would like to edit some of my paintings that are on the cut off point for college portfolio,
adding a few things here and there. Next quarter I would like to start paintings with themes of
simplicity, what makes a painting and what is needed to convey a message? On that note I would
like to finish these paintings, Tata, Summer Nights, Laughing Woman, Giants.

3
I started seeing paintings in my mind months before I would paint them, they would show up suddenly
and stay in the back of my mind until I put them down on paper.
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I was inspired by Joan Semmel and another artist whose name I forget to paint mundane/
ordinary in real life and imagined life.

Pottery

Here are the goals from my learning plan:

1. I would like to have three larger pottery pieces by the end of each quarter to push myself to
create for my portfolio and experience a new
artistic process.
2. During down time in the studio I would like to
create functional pieces like bowls, cups, plates, etc.
THIS IS NOT THE MAIN GOAL OF THE
POTTERY PART OF THIS STUDY.

Comfort
The large piece that I am made this quarter was
Comfort. Comfort is a mixed media piece with three ceramic
houses with two faces connected by wrinkles as depicted to
the right.
When I was brainstorming what comfort feels like
I found myself thinking of home, which makes sense, and
the earth. In Comfort I carved peaceful faces into the sides
of the houses and exaggerated the wrinkles of the faces to
mimic wood or paper. Why wrinkles? I asked myself this
question too and I looked at my parents faces and I noticed that they both have very pronounced
Crows feet as well as my Tata. This piece is about comfort and family, the feeling of having a
support system and people around you who you can trust.
After the pieces came out of the bisquing kiln I wanted to keep the texture of the clay, the
sandy dry texture, having a glass glaze would drown out the details and would lose the feeling of
warmth and comfort. I decided on a yellow oxide and a red oxide glaze, which keep the texture of
the clay and give the piece a painted look. After these pieces are finished they will be placed in a
crocheted and knitted hanging sculpture.
Compared to what I am used to this is a very process focused art form, with acrylic the
entire process is about the product, tweaking, perfecting, and adjusting. With clay there is more
space to work freely, for example when I was glazing my piece the color going into the glaze kiln
was yellow but when it came out it was a brick red, it didn't bother me because I didn't restrict
myself to one acceptable outcome. I am ok with the pieces if they have flaws, that's what makes
them an individual piece.
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I have spent a lot of time in the pottery studio working with Tabitha4 on these three pieces
and two other pieces to try and learn how to use clay again. I have mostly been throwing because it
is my comfort zone but in order to improve I think I need to step out of my comfort zone and start
hand-building.
I have taken a liking to the idea of creating things that are necessary, like kitchenware and other
ceramics. I would like to look into this form of art.

Improvements
For the next quarter I would like to spend more time in the pottery studio and make more
pieces so I can have a wider selection to choose from for my college portfolio. While I was at
National Portfolio Day in Boston I was talking to a woman from MECA (Maine College of Art)
who said “Ceramics is whatever you can get away with”, which makes me think why am I limiting
myself to glazes in non-functional sculptures? I would like to explore ways I can work with clay!
Clay is really fun!

What Next?
For the next quarter I would like to start looking into the science of pottery, because I have
been doing a lot of hands-on stuff and following rules that I do not know the reasoning for. Why do
you have to bisque clay? Why can't you put wet clay in the kiln? What is glaze? What is oxide glaze?
I would like to start studying my Abuelita Gloria’s practice and style in pottery because I
would like to make some pieces based on her style. I will talk to my Tata and my Mom about her.
I would like to make a piece around the theme of discomfort, working with larger amounts
of clay and I would also like to make teapots.

College Portfolio
I have not been making artwork for the purpose of putting it in my college portfolio because
if a college wants me for my artwork it should be the artwork that comes to me naturally, not
something I made so that I look appealing to some organization that is going to take all of my
money.
I went to National College portfolio day on the 21st of October and spoke with people from
Maine College of Art (MECA) and Pratt. MECA sounded nice, there are after college programs to
help artists get jobs and there are also schools around MECA where you can take “Normal Classes”.

4
Pottery Mentor and Friend
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SUBJECT AREAS

Spanish
Credits: 1
For my one Spanish credit I am reading “Los Cuatro Acuerdos” by Don Miguel Ruiz a book
in Spanish about ways to live your life better. I am taking notes on points in the book and writing
down new vocabulary as I go. I am writing on my blog in Spanish, though I wish I did it more,
mostly ranting. I am talking with Adriana, an exchange student from Yucatan.

Communication
I have been speaking with a native Spanish speaker once a week and I have been reading
almost everyday in Spanish.

Comparison
I have been writing in my journal and on my blog in Spanish, and I have been studying verb
tenses.

Culture
I have drafted a presentation about the Mexican American War and other significant events
since then having to do with the Mexican American people.

Art
Credits: 1
For my one art credit I am finishing the paintings that I did not last year and I am learning
how to work with clay. I am making functional and nonfunctional pieces in pottery.

Developing Craft
I have been developing my craft this quarter by consistently working on my clay pieces after
school when I don't have theater tech, and during school in my Pilot bands. In terms of painting I
have gotten close to finishing Laughing Woman and I have spent at least 15 hours painting her. I
have also had a meeting with Meg where we figured out the correct proportions for Giants.

Performing, Presenting, Producing

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I have presented my artwork at National Portfolio day in Boston, for which I combed
through all of my artwork to find the best possibilities for my college portfolio. I have designed and
made three ceramic pieces and a cup and a bowl. I have also redesigned a painting.

Connecting
I have been trying to communicate through Comfort, laughing Woman, and Giants some kind of
personal meaning.

Responding
This quarter I have responded to a few artists during FINE ART FRIDAY where pilot students
watch an episode of Art21 and have discussions about the artist afterwards.

TRANSFERABLE SKILLS

Creative Thinking and Problem Solving

● I redesigned the Giants painting because the perspective was wrong

● When throwing I have noticed a few bubbles so I take the clay off the wheel to rewedge it.
● I created an art project to try and shift the atmosphere of my room to a more focused one.
● Every time I paint I am actively problem solving.

Effective and Expressive Communication

● I am speaking with Adriana in Spanish to improve my conversational skills.

● I am making paintings communicating my relationship with my environment.
● I am make sculptures to communicate the idea of comfort.
● I am making a presentation in Spanish to teach students about Mexican Americans in the
United States.
● Meetings with Amy

Engaged Citizenship
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● I am in BLAMM to try make a change in the school environment (Though in most of the
meetings we don't do much).
● I am making a presentation to teach students about Mexican Americans in the United
States.
● I am actively trying to make the Pilot room a working environment.

Working Independently and Collaboratively

● I am mentoring Renee on the down low helping her with drawing and painting.
● I am speaking with Adriana.
● I am starting to speak with Sage and Haley in Spanish.
● I am working with Meg, my painting mentor.
● I am working with Tabitha, my pottery mentor.

Informed, Integrated, and Critical Thinking

● I am drafting a presentation for Adam’s class.

○ I am thinking about the level of Spanish the class is and how much people care about
this issue.
● I am reading, speaking, writing, and listening in Spanish.
● I am actively problem solving while painting and making ceramics and clay sculptures.

Self Awareness and Self Direction

● Other than working with Tabitha my Pottery mentor, I am working independently most of
the time.
● As well as working with Meg, my painting mentor, occasionally we meet up when I need
help but I mostly work independently.

● ...The Pilot.
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INDEPENDENT LEARNING SKILLS

Perseverance

This first quarter has come with a few obstacles that I have worked through. First, my
original plan for Comfort was to make one large pot on the wheel, and have the yarn on the inside
connecting like a web, but I did not take into account how hard it would be to work with large
amounts of clay. After a lot of compromising I changes my design to something more manageable,
three smaller pieces with a similar design. Secondly, the obstacle of Giants. As I said before I changed
the design of the painting to make it look more realistic, that doesn't mean that I wasn't upset that I
needed to repaint an entire sky which is a domed gradient. No big deal. These situations were
inconvenient at the time but I sorted them out so I could keep working. I handle obstacles by
stepping back and observing the situation and making a plan to solve the problem.

Inquiry

To generate ideas I spend time thinking by myself with no distractions or I work with other
people like friends, fellow Pilot students, parents, or Amy to brainstorm. This quarter I came up
with projects pertaining to my own interests and my Pilot goals, like Routine, and wiggles.

Time Management

I talked about this before but I actually enjoy scheduling and following through with my
plans, and this quarter I have been managing my time better that I feel I ever have in the Pilot. I
have been using a planner to manage my time and keep in mind short term goals and long term
goals. I do think there is room for improvement, like always I can spend less time on my phone.

Accountability

I feel that I am usually fairly accountable with other people, I don't miss my meetings with
Amy and I have only missed one meeting with Adam. However, when I tell myself to do something
my automatic response is to say no. In the themes sections of this narrative I talk about follow
through and how I think that there is always room to improve.
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Demonstration

This semester I have demonstrated my knowledge by taking pictures of my process in

painting and pottery, as well as written reflection on my blog and in my Pilot journal. I have
recordings of my speaking in Spanish and have notes from meetings with Amy, my mentors and
advisors.

Self Advocacy

When I need help I ask people around me, I haven't had a lot of trouble asking for help. I
just find Amy, or Chris, or my mentors, or my content advisors.
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BIBLIOGRAPHY

Rosales, F. (2018). Chicano! The History of the Mexican American Civil Rights Movement. [online]
Google Books. Available at:
https://books.google.com/books?id=qvGgsGBFQncC&pg=PR1&source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&q&f=f
alse [Accessed 14 Sep. 2018]. A book that I might use, I have a few books already.

Duolingo. (2018). Learn a language for free. [online] Available at: https://www.duolingo.com/ [Accessed 14
Sep. 2018]. Online program that I will use for practicing spanish.

Quizlet. (2018). Quizlet. [online] Available at: https://quizlet.com/ [Accessed 14 Sep. 2018]. A program for
studying the chicano movement and spanish

: SpanishDict. (2018). Check out the beautiful image on SpanishDict today!. [online] Available at:
http://www.spanishdict.com/ [Accessed 14 Sep. 2018]. I will use this while reading for new vocabulary.

Ruiz, M. (1997). Los cuatro acuerdos L. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Pub. the first book that I will be reading.

Alaniz, Y. and Cornish, M. (2008). Viva la raza. Seattle, WA: Red Letter Press. I will use this to know more
about the history of the Chicano Movement.

Hogan, M. (2018). Abraham Lincoln and Mexico. egret books. Research for presentation.

Adriana Pion Soto, Spanish Mentor.

Lawrence, T. (2018). Pottery Mentor.

Scherbatskoy, M. (2018). Painting Mentor.

Perard, V. (2012). Anatomy and Drawing. Dover Publications. I will use this for reference while drawing
people.

Perez, L. (2018). Lucia Angela Perez. [online] Luciaperez.info. Available at: http://www.luciaperez.info/
[Accessed 12 Sep. 2018]. This is my mom’s art website, I will look at her paintings and my Nana Gloria’s
ceramics.
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Gettyimages.com. (2018). Stock Photography, Royalty-Free Photos & The Latest News Pictures | Getty Images.
[online] Available at: https://www.gettyimages.com/ [Accessed 12 Sep. 2018]. For reference pictures.

Salvador Dali Museum. (2018). Timeline - Salvador Dali Museum. [online] Available at:
https://thedali.org/timeline/ [Accessed 12 Sep. 2018].Artist to respond to.