Bautista 1

Joselin Bautista

Professor Jennifer Rodrick

English 115

November 19, 2018

Loss of Control

A lot of women have had drastic things happen to them that can affect their life. At times

these things can be really bad and have women have a really bad impact. In the novel, “Play It as

It Lays”, Maria had a really big impact in her life that really affected her in the worst way

possible. For example, Maria’s abortion really affected her, but it can also affect other women

and make their life horrible. This situation makes their life different and make them think

different about certain things. Maria as well as other women, lose themselves and don’t feel like

they have much control over themselves, they end up having horrific dreams and nervous

breakdown so they seek for help.

In the novel, “Play It as It Lays” by Joan Didion, Maria could never be with her daughter

at all times, so she becomes unstable for the love that Kate could give her if she was always with

her. Therefor Maria decides to have sexual encounters with men. This leads to her getting

pregnant from one of the guys that she has sexual intercourse with. Nevertheless, when Maria

finds out she informs Carter, her husband at the time, who forced her into getting an abortion.

This leads to Maria losing her mind. Maria ends up having nightmares of dead children coming

to haunt her. Joan Didion said in his novel, “The man in the white duck pants materialized and

then the doc- tor, in his rubber apron. At that point she would fight for consciousness but she was

never able to wake herself before the dream revealed its inexorable intention, before the

plumbing stopped up, before they all fled and left her there, gray water bubbling up in every
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sink. Of course she could not call a plumber, because she had known all along what would be

found in the pipes, what hacked pieces of human flesh.” (Didion, 96) Maria had a horrible dream

which was her dreaming about how the doctor disposed her baby in a way in the abortion and

that if a plumber went to go see her problem at her home they would see human flesh in the

pipes.

Many women on some circumstances get traumatized after an abortion. Some cases it

happens because they were probably forced or other times it’s just a situation where that just

happens. In an article by Science News talks about how women have bad reactions due to

abortion and it states, “Assessments of abortion's psychological risks to women invariably

generate debate. Some case reports have described women's traumatic reactions to their

abortions. Yet several studies find that rates of depression and other mental ailments in women

receiving abortions remain stable for several months, at least after a first-trimester procedure.”

(Bower, 117) This article is saying that there are cases where a woman has traumatic reactions

after they have an abortion. It also talks about how there have been a lot of studies that have

shown that women also have depression and other mental problems and in the case of Maria,

Maria had a sort of mental problem which was her having horrible dreams. The reason why she

was really hit by this and was having horrific dreams was because Carter made her get the

abortion but deep down she wanted to keep her baby.

Maria had breakdowns throughout the novel and she went to get help even if it was just a

few times. Mostly what Maria did a lot of times is go on car rides but she also went to see a

therapist a few times. She would always go and talk a lot about her mother. “The hypnotist stood

up. He always seemed cold and he was always sipping Pernod and water and his house was dusty

and cluttered with torn newspaper clippings and stained file folders. In the Novel, “Play It as It
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Lays, it states, “"What do you hear," he said finally. "What do you hear and see in your mind

right now. What are you doing." "I'm driving over here," Maria said. "I'm driving Sunset and I'm

staying in the left lane because I can see the New Havana Ballroom and I'm going to turn left at

the New Havana Ballroom. That's what I'm doing."” (Didion, 124) In this part of the scene Maria

went to see a hypnotist because she kind of lost her own mind and needed to talk to someone

even though she wasn’t too sure about it. Maria was mostly talking about her mother when she

went to the hypnotist but I believe that she did this because at this moment in her life she really

needed her mother to be by her side. Maria every time she lost control of her own mind, she

tends to go on car rides and when she was talking to the hypnotist she saw herself driving to her

mother to be with her. Whenever Maria had breakdown she tends to go on drives to clear her

mind from everything that is going on in her life.

As like Maria a lot of women in society look for help to get through their situations. For

example, they go to a therapist other than a hypnotist like Maria. They go seek for help from a

therapist and other things because they feel like if they talk to them it’s like they have someone

there to listen to them. The article, “After the Choice: Therapy can lead to understanding after

abortion, but healing requires spiritual renewal.” by James Bretzke said that, “Burke came to

recognize that many women's most significant difficulties after abortion are of a spiritual rather

than a strictly psychological nature. Therapy could lend understanding, but healing would be

possible only through spiritual renewal.” (Bretzke, 14) Burke is saying that not only does therapy

help but also things done spiritually. In this type of research, they found that some women have

in a way more peace when they do things spiritually instead of just talking to someone. A lot of

women seek help any way that they think is more affect for them to feel better with their

situations and in this case, with their abortions.

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Women tend to go to therapy for many things. In this case what were talking about is

going to seek for help after having an abortion. Abortions can really have a strong impact in

women’s life. In the article, “Being Denied an Abortion Is More Harmful to Women's Mental

Health Than Actually Getting One, according to a New Study” it talks about how, “One week

after seeking an abortion, study participants who were turned away from getting the procedure

had higher levels of anxiety, lower self-esteem, and lower life satisfaction than those who got the

wanted abortion. Yet, their levels of depression were similar to those who actually had the

procedure.” (The Cut) Women tend to have low self-esteem even talking about having an

abortion. In the novel, “Play it as it lays” Maria did not choose to have the abortion therefor it

hurt her more because her abortion was forced on her by her husband, Carter. The picture below

represents a hypnotherapist which is where Maria went to get help because she was not feeling

herself. Maria was talking about her and her mother and all these things happened because after

the abortion all she could think of is to be with her mom and her being there for her during her

tough time.

In conclusion, we have seen how women who have abortions can really affect their life.

Maria in the novel lost herself and had nervous breakdowns. Many women have always been

seeking help through their years and everyone has their own type of problems but sometimes it’s

something that they can’t really handle. In this case women who have abortions have a really bad

time copping with it and try to help themselves along the way even if they do loose themselves.

Everyone loses themselves every day in life but one should be able to get help in some way even

if things to get in the way.

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Work Cited

Didion, Joan. Play It as It Lays: A Novel. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005.

Bower, B. “Study explores abortion’s mental aftermath.” Science News, 19 Aug. 2000, p. 117.

General OneFile, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A65301562/ITOF?

u=csunorthridge&sid=ITOF&xid=0b287ba4. Accessed 17 Nov. 2018.

Bretzke, James, and Monika Rodman. "After the Choice: Therapy can lead to understanding

after abortion, but healing requires spiritual renewal." America, 6 Nov. 1999, p. 14.

General OneFile, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A57234451/ITOF?

u=csunorthridge&sid=ITOF&xid=8b45f5c0. Accessed 17 Nov. 2018.

Nethaisong, Piyanat. “Hypnosis.” iStock, 17 July 2017, https://www.istockphoto.com/vector

/hypnosis-concept-hand-hold-on-a-chain-pocket-watch-mind-control-vector-illustration-

gm816914622-132202889. Accesses 17 Nov. 2018.

"Being Denied an Abortion Is More Harmful to Women's Mental Health Than Actually Getting

One, According to a New Study." The Cut, 14 Dec. 2016. General OneFile,

http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A473806048/ITOF?u=csunorthridge&sid=ITOF&xid

=dad5d223. Accessed 18 Nov. 2018.