“No Bull”

Published by BS Central
515 2nd Ave. S • Glasgow, MT 59230
406-228-4558 • fax: 406-228-4578
bscentral@nemont.net

8
Phase 1
201
Complete!
ol
.7 30,
V

Frida er
y, Novemb

Notice anything new on

Glasgow’s Famous Front Street?
Not only is the exterior of the old
Stan’s Saloon looking fabulous, it
now sports a barber pole. Mary
Helland, at left, made having a
barber shop in her ongoing project
a top priority. It’s a done deal.
The Whistle Stop Barber Shop is
now open for business Tuesday
thru Saturday from 10:00 a.m. to
3:00 p.m. Standing next to Mary
is Shelbie Irvin, Glasgow’s only
barber in business! A Seattle
native, she was a cosmetologist
for approximately six years before
moving here, then working at First
Community Bank for about four
years and doing her cosmetology
thing at Headquarters on
Saturdays. She went to barber
school in Great Falls and has her
barber’s license. She gave her
very first hair cut to Santa Claus
(Art Johnson) and also trimmed
his white whiskers to perfection.
Unlike cosmetologists, barbers
are also licensed to give you a
shave, which Shelbie is happy
to do. So there you have it, guys,
there’s a new barber in town
raring to go with a wealth of
experience. And of course, like
any typical barber shop, walk-ins
are always welcome! Stay tuned
for more on the Whistle Stop
Mary Helland and Shelbie Irvin next to the lit up barber pole on 1st Avenue South Barber Shop.

December
comes
storming in
If you’re dreaming about a white Christmas, dream no
more. Winter Storm Warnings & Advisories are in effect for
tonight through Saturday night. Mainly snow is expected
and several inches could stack up before all is said and done.
Further east, a little freezing rain could mix in at times
tonight before a flip to snow on Saturday. A trace to a few
hundredths of an inch of ice combined with 2 to 5 inches of
snowfall are expected in the advisory area. These conditions
are expected to impact travel with reduced visibilities and
slick road conditions developing. Please allow plenty of extra
time to reach your destination when traveling this weekend.
Not only will we have a snowy Christmas stroll on
Saturday, it won’t be long and ranchers will have to start
feeding livestock. Up north in the Opheim area they already
have a good half a foot of snow on the ground with more on
the way.
Tonight: Snow, mainly after 1am. Low around 25. East
northeast wind 9 to 11 mph. Chance of precipitation is
90%. New snow accumulation of 1 to 2 inches possible.
Saturday: Snow. High near 34. East wind 13 to 15 mph.
Chance of precipitation is 100%. New snow accumulation
of 3 to 5 inches possible.
Saturday Night: Snow likely, mainly before 11pm. Cloudy,
with a low around 23. East wind 13 to 15 mph. Chance of
precipitation is 70%. New snow accumulation of less than
one inch possible.
Sunday: Isolated snow showers before 11am. Cloudy,
with a high near 29. East wind 7 to 9 mph. Chance of
precipitation is 20%.
Sunday Night: Isolated snow showers after 11pm. Mostly
cloudy, with a low around 17.
Monday: Mostly cloudy, with a high near 26. West
northwest wind 5 to 9 mph.
Tuesday: Sunny, with a high near 22. West wind 8 to 10
mph.
Wednesday: Sunny, with a high near 20.
BUZZIFIEDS
FOR SALE: Mattress & box spring. CALL 228-2542
BUZZ
OPEN HOUSE & CLEARANCE SALE - BLESSED GIFT STORE:
December 1st from 10am - 3 pm. Christian gifts for the whole family. Under
new management. Come check us out! INSIDE ST. RAPHAEL’S PARISH
CENTER • 412 3RD AVE. N
BUZZ
PANCAKE BREAKFAST: Saturday, December 1 from 7-10am. Cost is
$5 or $7.50 for big appetites. Will be held the first Saturday of the month.
SENIOR CITIZENS CENTER
BUZZ
FLEA MARKET /BAZAAR December 1, 2018 from 9-1pm. Many new
vendors come see what they have to sell, movies, games, collectibles
and so much more . We are still taking donations Tables are $5.00 Each
for more information or to book a table please call 228-9500. VALLEY
COUNTY SENIOR CENTER/ 328 4TH STREET SOUTH
BUZZ
MILK RIVER, INC. has staff openings in various locations/facilities for
varying shifts. Training will be provided on site. To apply to be a direct
support professional working with the people we offer supports to, PLEASE
APPLY AT 219 2ND AVE SOUTH, GLASGOW, MT OR AT JOB SERVICE.
FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 406-228-8412
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami,
are all excited about their decision to get married. They
go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way,
they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob: “Are you the owner?”
Pharmacist: “Yes.”
Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell
heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course, we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
Jacob: “How about suppositories?”
Pharmacist: “You bet!”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis
and Alzheimer’s?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety — the works.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol,
antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”
Pharmacist: “We sure do.”
Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and
canes?”
Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”
Jacob: “Adult diapers?”
Pharmacist: “Sure.”
Jacob: “Well, okay then! We’d like to use this store
as our Bridal Registry.”
 BUZZIFIEDS
FMDH POSITION OPENING: Full-time Pharmacy Sales Associate (Retail).
Highschool diploma or GED. Previous experience in health care setting
or customer service position (preferred). Sales Associate will answer
telephones, answer patient’s questions and responding to requests.
Operate POS system to accept payment from customers, reconciliation of
the tills, preparing daily deposit, posting charges, and payments on patient
accounts. Maintain storage and security for medications including shelves
and storage areas as needed. Scanning and filing of filled prescriptions.
Assist in ordering and receiving of inventory and supplies, checking
orders for accuracy and check Rx and OTC inventory for outdate. Assist
in preparation of returns, price, stock, and mark items for sale. Delivery of
medication or OTC to patients, nursing homes, or assisted living facilities.
FMDH is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer. PLEASE
CONTACT THE HR DEPARTMENT AT (406) 228.3662 FOR MORE
INFORMATION.
BUZZ
FMDH POSITION OPENING: Glasgow Primary Care Clinic Customer
Service Representative. High School Diploma or GED. Previous clerical,
medical terminology and computer experience preferred. Qualified applicant
will be responsible for patient check in, scheduling appointments and
data entry of all patient information. Other duties will include answering
telephones, directing to appropriate personnel and assisting in other
clerical duties as assigned. FMDH is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative
Action Employer. PLEASE CONTACT THE HR DEPARTMENT AT (406)
228.3662 FOR MORE INFORMATION
BUZZ
LOOKING TO WORK IN A FAST-PACED, FUN ATMOSPHERE? Join The
Wood Team! Immediate opening for morning and early afternoon & fill in
shifts in the dining room. Submit an application online or pick one up at
the front desk at the Cottonwood TODAY! FOR MORE INFORMATION
PLEASE CONTACT STEPHANIE AT 228-8213, EXT. 311.
BUZZ
THE WOOD RESTAURANT is seeking a full-time dishwasher. Shifts and
days may vary. Duties include operating a commercial dishwasher and
also doing some manual dish washing. Will also be cleaning floors and
equipment. Must be able to lift up to 50 lbs. Benefits include vacation/sick
leave, dental/visual reimbursement, group health insurance, retirement,
employee discounts. APPLY AT COTTONWOOD INN & SUITES
BUZZ
HELP WANTED: Part-time Flower Shop Worker. Must have good customer
service skills, clear writing and phone skills. Must be available to work
holidays. Contact Flower Shop for full job description & application. CALL
GLASGOW FLOWER & GIFT 228-8312
BUZZ
GLASGOW MIDDLE SCHOOL AIDE/COOK POSITION: Permanent
school year position, w/ full benefits, $12.17-13.13/HR. To apply go
to: www.glasgow.k12.mt.us and click on employment tab. Deadline is
12/4/18. Call Mike Zoanni at 228-8268 for more information. (EQUAL
OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER)
BUZZ
POSITION OPENING: Secretary/Treasurer position open at the Valley
County Grazing Districts/Wittmayer & Silver Dollar Grazing Associations.
For more information, contact the GRAZING OFFICE AT 118 5TH ST. S.,
GLASGOW, MT 59230 OR CALL 228-2961. Position open until filled.
BUZZ
VALLEY VIEW HOME is now offering Certified Nursing Assistant training
and testing for a low price of $800.00. This includes the testing price and
study material required. Valley View will offer the same training to anyone
who seek long term employment with Valley View for free. This training
program will educate you in how to provide care to our older generation.
Our upcoming class is January 7-11 followed by January 14-18. PLEASE
VISIT VALLEY VIEW HOME’S ADMINISTRATION DEPARTMENT IN
ORDER TO SIGNUP. THERE ARE ONLY 8 SEATS LEFT!
BUZZ
FULL TIME COOK. The Cook prepares palatable, nutritionally sound
meals for our residents at Valley View. Our cooks are responsible in
ensuring our Dietary Aides provide service promptly with delegated
authority from the Department Head. We want you to build your career and
grow with us! PLEASE PICK UP YOUR APPLICATION FROM THE
ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENT AT VALLEY VIEW HOME.
BUZZ
VALLEY VIEW HOME is now taking applicants for a permanent House
Keeping position. The Housekeeping Aide provides cleaning services
to provide a safe, sanitary, comfortable and homelike environment for
residents, staff and the public. In addition, this position offers cross
training into the role as Laundry Aid. We are offering competitive wage
for 32-40 hours a week. APPLICATIONS ARE AVAILABLE IN OUR
ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENT.
BUZZ
FULL TIME DIETARY AIDE. The Food Service Aide prepares and serves
palatable, nourishing, well-balanced diets to meet the daily nutritional
and special dietary needs of each resident. This position provides a very
meaningful role within Valley View Home and you will feel gratitude daily
for your work. PLEASE PICK UP YOUR APPLICATION FROM THE
ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENT AT VALLEY VIEW HOME.
BUZZ
HELP WANTED: Mechanic. Pay DOE. Pick up application at Thompson
& Son’s. CONTACT JOSH AT 228-4801 FOR MORE INFORMATION
BUZZ
FOR RENT: Country living between Fort Peck and Nashua. 4 bedroom, 1
3/4 bath home with large kitchen and game room w/pool table. Currently
furnished, Central AC, detached two car garage, school bus stops in front
of house. Non smoking, will consider pets. PLEASE CALL 263-3644
BUZZ
FOR RENT: 3 bed 1 bath 1 car attached garage for rent in Saint Maire,
MT. $475/month plus utilities. Pets considered. CALL HELLAND AGENCY
INC. 228-2114
BUZZ
GLASGOW OFFICE BASEMENT FOR RENT: 1,600 sq. ft. 3 bedroom 1
bath. Washer & dryer included. $1,500/mo. includes utilities, WiFi & TV.
Month to month lease. CALL HELLAND AGENCY INC. 228-2114
BUZZ
STORAGE UNITS FOR RENT: 14x40’, 12’ tall by 14’ wide doors. Power
& Water on site. CALL 406-724-7039
BUZZ
FOR RENT IN NASHUA: 2 bedroom, 1 bath. All new interior, pet negotiable
with deposit. Fenced back yard. $650/mo. plus $500 deposit. CALL 785-
2109
BUZZ
FOR RENT Furnished, 2 bedroom apt. No pets, no smoking. Singles
preferred. $485/mo. CALL 228-4577
BUZZ
FOR RENT: 1,200 sq. ft. 3 bay heated shop. $600/mo. 8x20’ storage
container $80/mo. More storage space available at Taylor Storage South.
CALL KEVIN 230-2259
BUZZ
APT. FOR RENT. 925 sf, 2 bdrm, 1 1/2 bth townhome apt. City of Glasgow.
Cozy. Good neighbors. Sm pets OK. Laundry room in unit, A/C. $595/
month. 360-750-6746
BUZZ
APT. FOR RENT. 925 sf, 2 bdrm, 1 1/2 bth townhome apt. City of Glasgow.
Cozy. Good neighbors. Sm pets OK. Laundry room in unit, A/C. $595/
month. 360-750-6746
ke

2 Day Sale! Friday & Saturday Only!

n’t
m Sale Nov. 28 - Dec. 4
ts Boneless Beef
RUMP ROAST .........................$2.99 lb.
80% Lean, 20% Fat
GROUND BEEF ...................... $1.99 ea.
an
Family Pack Boneless Skinless
CHICKEN BREASTS .................$1.59 lb.
Boneless Beef
es
NEW YORK STEAKS ................$5.99 lb.
ve
Boneless Beef
TRI TIP ROAST .........................$5.99 lb.
Pork Shoulder
” PICNIC ROAST ..........................$.99 lb.
Just Bare 14-20 oz. Boneless Skinless Chicken
is TENDERS/BREAST/THIGHS ...$4.99 ea.
Jennie-O 99% Lean
GROUND TURKEY ..................$4.99 ea.
ur Johnsonville 12 oz. Select Varieties
BREAKFAST SAUSAGE .............$2.99 lb.
is Daily’s 16 oz. Hardwood Smoked
BIG BUY BACON ........................ 3 / $5
Food Club or WF Food Club 10-16 oz. Juicy Seedless
ICE CREAM SNACKS RED GRAPES
$1.99 each (Limit 3) 99¢ each (Limit 3) 88¢ lb.
1 DAY SALE SATURDAY, DEC. 1
Perdue 3 lb. Bag Premium 6 ct. Select Varieties
CHICKEN WINGS ....................$1.49 lb. CREAMIES........................... $12.99 ea.
Jennie-O 16 oz. 85% Lean Totino’s 9.8-10.9 oz. Select Varieties
GROUND TURKEY .................. $1.99 ea. PARTY PIZZAS.........................$.99 ea.
40 Knots 1 lb. 26-30 ct. Great Grains Old Fashion White/Wheat
COOKED SHRIMP .................. $7.99 ea. BREAD...................................... 2 / $3
Small Texas Hershey’s Select Varieties
GRAPEFRUIT ............................. 3 / $1 XL SIZE CANDY BARS.............$1.39 ea.
Cafe Valley 16 oz. Assorted Hostess 9.5-11.5 oz. Select Varieties
LOAF CAKES .............................. 2 / $6 DONETTES ................................ 2 / $3
Western Family 32 oz. Brick or Shredded Simply Done 8 ct.
MEDIUM CHEDDAR ...............$3.99 ea. AA OR AAA BATTERIES................. 2 / $3
Western Family 16 oz. Select Varieties Fresh Crisp
SOUR CRM OR COTTAGE CHS ..$.89 ea. BROCCOLI OR CAULIFLOWER ....$.99 lb.
TurMoo Gal. 5 lb. Bag Idaho
CHOCOLATE MILK..................$3.99 ea. RUSSET POTATOES .................$.99 ea.
Mars 42 oz. Peanut or Peanut Butter Hormel 14 oz. Select Varieties
M&M’S.................................$6.99 ea. SNACK TRAYS .......................$5.00 ea.

MacDonald Benefit postponed WARM-UP

228-2233 The benefit fund-raiser for Brooke MacDonald
scheduled for this Saturday in Nashua has been WHIST
postponed due to the weather we are about to receive.
TOURNAMENT
International Head ’em up, move ’em out! Friday, November 30
The Glasgow Police Department would like to Whist Starts
Whist @ 7:00pm
remind residents that per City Ordinance, all campers,
Tournament
Saturday, Dec. 1
RVs, or watercraft need to be moved off of any street or The Minnesota Boys
Whist Starts at 1pm alley by December 1st, meaning TOMMOROW. are coming to play!
& Sunday, Dec. 2 Also TOMORROW... Call: 228-9985
Whist Starts at 11am
Minnesota Boys
Tomorrow is December 1st so you know what
that means: the Glasgow Senior Citizens Center will
Montana
are Back! Bar
be serving breakfast! Every first Saturday of the month
Friday they serve breakfast featuring homemade sourdough
SOupS: Broccoli Cheddar• Chili flapjacks from 7:00 to 10:00. Cost is $5 per person or
SpecialS: $7.50 for those big fellas, or little fellas with big appetites.
Angry Bull Burger Three farmers chat. The first one tells, “I have grown
1/2 Grilled Chicken Salad such a big apple that when I put it on a chair, it broke down.”
The second one says, “I have grown an even bigger
apple! When I put it on a table, it broke.”
Dine at the “O” The third one says, “I grew an extremely big apple. I put
it in a carriage...”
The two farmers interrupt, “Did it break???”
228-8006 “No, a worm got out of it and ate my dang horse!”
 About our downtown
Christmas Tree
Darvin Henry operates the Northwest Energy truck as Josh
Sillerud and Rocky Thompson guides the carved end of the
tree (thanks to Rocky’s chain saw skills) into the hole
on Tuesday morning. As mentioned in yesterday’s
Buzz, it’s one beautiful tree that Johnnie and Jeannie
Peterson donated, but neither of them had a clue
as to what kind of tree it is, and Lisa Koski was
only about 50% sure in her thinking that it is
a Douglas Fir. So we put out a request to
any tree experts out there to confirm.
We got a bite. Shelley Mills of the
MSU Extension Agency called this
morning and it is not a Douglas
Fir, rather a Colorado Blue
Spruce. It is native to Canada
and the United States. Its
natural range extends
from northern New
Mexico through Colorado
and Utah to Wyoming
and into Alberta and
British Columbia, but
it has been widely
introduced elsewhere
— including Johnnie
and Jeannie’s front yard
which it outgrew — and
is used as an ornamental
tree in many places far
beyond its native range.
The official tree lighting
which includes 5,500
bulbs will happen during
Saturday’s Christmas
Stroll as lisa plugs it in at
5:00 sharp.
Spacious 3 bedroom home for sale with 5 rental UPDATED APARTMENT CUSTOM REMODELED 3835 SQ. FT. HOME
units attached located in Glasgow, Montana. The
main house features 3 bedrooms, a large living COMPLEX 4 bedrooms, 2 baths finished with marble and Italian
tile, gourmet kitchen with cherry cabinets and granite
room, an updated kitchen and a newer handicap
counter tops. The living room and family room have
accessible bathroom. The estate is clean, neat
gas fireplaces for those cozy winter nights. The large
and updated. The owners of this apartment house
private enclosed porch has a gas fireplace to entertain
have meticulously maintained their property and
for any occasion. New siding, Pella windows, roof,
there is an excellent rental history for the other
furnace, and a tankless hot water heater are just a
five units. Two of the units feature two bedrooms
while the other three units are one bedroom. Enjoy few upgrades! The 1056 sq. ft. heated and insulated
the central location and a nice neighborhood. drive through garage is a must see! Also included is a
Close to grocery stores, schools, restaurants and storage shed for all your yard tools!
recreational opportunities. For private showing ASKING $337,000 #319
call Chris Helland at 406-228-2118 20-1028 Offered by: Karen Waarvik, Broker/Owner
Contact Helland Agency 228-2114 Priced at $275,000 (406) 228-2525 -
visit www.hellandagencyinc.com www.redfoxxrealestate.com
2368 +/-sq. ft. home with 2
bedrooms, 3 bonus sleeping
rooms, 2 updated baths, spacious
 1003 5th Ave. N, Glasgow, MT
Beautiful Northside Home has large south facing 1100 Wedum Drive
1100 Wedum Drive
Beautiful ft.Corner Lot Northside
windows that allow ample natural light on
Home: 1,510 sf on the main floor, plus
Beautiful
the 1,984 sq. Corner Lot
main floor. 3Northside
bedrooms, Home: 1,510 sf on the main floor, plus
2 full
an
bathrooms enclosed porch.
and 2 half baths and aThe basement
fireplace on the is 870 sf which includes garage.
mainanfloor
enclosed porch.
and basement. ThisThe
well basement
maintained, is 870 sf which includes garage.
Therelocated
There
perfectly are
are 3bedrooms
3bedrooms
home has a 792 and
andsq. 2ft.2 fullbathrooms
full
finishedbathrooms ononthethe main
main floor,
floor, andand
a 1/2a 1/2
bathroom
basement and abathroom onthethe
864 sq. ft. detached
on basement
garage. floor,
Large floor,
basement private
private back
back yard,
yard,
private fenced-in yard with automatic sprinkler
established
system andestablished
mature trees. treestreesand andgardengarden area.....PRICE
area.....PRICE REDUCED
REDUCED
Priced at $185,000
Call ususforfor
UNITED an appointment!
INSURANCE
&Call
REALTY an appointment!
406-228-9356
P.O. Box 351 406-228-9356
• 504 2nd Avenue South
We Cover Montana Glasgow, Montana 59230 406-228-9356

FMDH Glasgow
EMT’s Heartsaver CPR
AED / First Aid Class
Saturday, Dec. 8
9 a.m. to about 1 p.m.
FMDH South Wing
Conference Room
Cost: $30
Call Connie at
228-3648 to register
by December 5 at 5 p.m.
You will receive a certification
through AHA good for 2 years
through this course.

00
$6
Burger &
a Beer
Mondays
5:30-7:00pm
provided by donations

or Citizen Center
Seni
MONDAY Sen
Swedish
Meatballs
Call for reservation by 10 AM
228-9500
 REGISTRATION
Saturday, December 8th
11:00 AM - 3:00 PM
at Glasgow High School

It’s maybe a good thing the general hunting season came to an end because it will be tough getting around
by Saturday. Having successful outings on the final weekend were these two young sportsmen. Bubba
Pugh, at left, bagged his first-ever buck, a dandy muley, with a .243 from 255 yards on the Page Whitham
BMA. In his second year of hunting, Jackson Bishop took his 3x4 hefty muley (he outdid his first-ever buck
from last year) at 210 yards with his .243 Winchester somewhere west of the Middle of Nowhere (it’s a
secret!). He was mentored by Hi-Line Sportsman, Scott Billingsley. Great job, Bubba and Jackson!

Do you need your Montana

Custom Carpentry •Roofing Repairs •Windows •Doors •Kitchens •Baths
Call Shawn Beard • 230-1025
Email: beardhi@gmail.com • Licensed & insured • Free Estimates
Medical Marijuana Program Card?
Do you need to see a compassionate Doctor who is
experienced in Medical Cannabis?
We can help guide you through the
whole process of getting your Montana
Medical Marijuana Program Card.
Simply call 406-367-5257 to speak with a staff member,
leave a message, or email us at shorline@nemont.net
 Scandinavian & Holiday
Vintage Christmas
Bake Sale Open House
Saturday, Dec. 1, 2018
9:00 am - 12 Noon 3 DAYS ONLY!
First Lutheran Church Nov. 29, 30, Dec. 1 on Hwy 2 across from McDonald’s
Glasgow, MT - 406-263-7567
Featuring Scandanavian Baked Goods Open 10-4
Lefse • Rosettes • Sandbakkles • Spritz
Fattimand • Rommegrat
* Vintage Christmas Décor
Also, your favorite Candies, * Gifts for the Antique Lover on your list.
Breads, & Cookies. * Furniture, Old Toys, Rustic and Primitive Items

Door Prizes
Coffee Shop will be Open with Samples of
baked Goods, Lefse, & Rommegrat
Supported by Thrivent Financial
641 2nd Ave. N., Glasgow • 406-228-4862
Refreshments Served

Nativity scenes galore

The public is welcome to view the Nativity Christ of Latter Day Saints at 15 Airport Road.
display this evening (Friday, November 30th) Nativity scenes from all over the globe are set
between 6 and 8 pm at The Church of Jesus up for your viewing pleasure!

Ladies POSITION OPENING GAULTOERN N’S

Christmas
Program
“Symbols of the Christmas Story”
Tuesday, December 4th
at 7:00 pm
Glasgow Evangelical Church
All Ladies Welcome
Full time clerk in the Valley County Clerk
and Recorder’s office. Experience with
EPAIR &
WRECKER SE
RVICE
bookkeeping, computer, payroll, reading
land descriptions, and clerical office
53999
skills. Must work well with fellow employees Hwy 2 W
and public. Salary: DOE. For an
application, contact the Clerk and Batteries • Towing • Repair
Recorder’s Office in the Courthouse . Call 228-2715 or 263-1249

l

Thanks for Listening

w
give him a few more minutes. Baldy was adamant that N
the match be considered a no go and we just won another o
Back to Baldonnato: 500 bucks by forfeit. Stupidly we all nixed that idea.
About six minutes after nine Ford’s Cadillac turned
e
s
part two into the country club driveway. He scrambled out,
r
I suppose one or more of my popped the trunk, reached in for his $1500 sack of sticks,
t
33.7 ½ readers have told a non reach back into the car and retrieved a couple go-cups of 1
reader about the dilemma about Billy what we concluded were Bloody Mary’s and sauntered up t
Baldonnato? They told you to read part two? to meet the day....and us. g
Well this is your lucky day! This part brought to you by “You want to call it off ” asked Baldonnato with a l
Charlie Chans Chopstick Brand “Roadkill Chow Mein” half-grin. “You don’t look so very good to me.” d
y
(since 2017). Order now for future delivery just in time Ford s countered with “I didn’t come here to look

for Christmas. good to you or anyone else.” He was referencing Baldy’s t
You’ll recall that Mr. Ford lost a bet to me when he, in Knickers, argyle socks and English style cap. Ford was d
his cups, denied my claim that Reno, Nv was further west clad in his khaki pants, sweatshirt with “Golf is My a
than LA, Ca.. Life” emblazoned on the front and Oxford golf shoes.
You’ll recall that we all knew Ford was a near scratch Comfortable.
w
golfer. They tossed a coin to see who would hit first. Ford
s
You should remember that Billy Baldonnato claimed won. m
to be an excellent golfer but none of us had ever seen him Ford stepped up to the plate, addressed the ball – t
hit a ball. saying hello ball, see ya’ later – and smacked that thing w
Well, Ford, stinging from his most recent defeat and clear into next week and straight down the short-grass w
the loss of 500 clams threw out a challenge of his own. alley. We heard an audible “gulp” from the spectators.
c
He said “ Hey Baldy (short for Baldonnato) I hear It had to be from Baldonnato because he was the only m
you’re a pretty good ball striker. Any truth to that?” spectator other than Vance, Galen and me. a
Baldonnato shot back, “I’m a scratch golfer and won Baldy stuck the ball holder thing into the ground and b
the Pontiac River Classic Open Tourney a while ago.” sat the ball on top. So far so good. He looked like a pro! d
He failed to mention – to us or anyone - that this was, We got this! t
#1, an under twelve years old tourney, #2 he was sixteen Then he stepped up to the ball, wiggled and waggled w
I
at the time and looked eleven and #3 the only other like the pro’s do, took aim and swung like he was chopping Th
contestant was a cross-eyed nine year old girl who looked logs or killing a rattle snake. t
all of twenty. There were three audible gasps from the peanut
Another consideration to be considered was the fact section as we three spectators saw Baldys ball sail off into
that we were all pretty toasted at the time and Ford was the horizon going long....longer..... and.....very crooked. I t
burnt toast. See, he’d been drinking all day, mourning the think in layman’s terms he had hit a sluice.
b
loss of his dear-departed fourth wife earlier that morning. It landed out among Ritterhausen’s milk cow cows d
But anyway Bill stepped right up to the plate and and as the golf gods demanded landed square in the H
challenged Ford to a match of double-or-nothing. Ford middle of a fresh meadow muffin or cow pie as some
gleefully accepted saying “how’s nine o’clock tomorrow folks call it. w
suit youse guys?” The “youse guys was for Baldonnato’s Baldonnato took a “ball-out-of-play” penalty. And m
enjoyment, him being from New Jersey before hitting the rest was history. In the nine hole course Billy Baldy s
t
Illinois and then Colorado. shot a course record 117 while Ford smirked and shuffled
The rule was made that they started golfing at exactly off to another course record of 26. w
nine o’clock and judging by Ford’s appearance right Our ill-gotten gains had gone up in smoke with the
now, at 4:45 am, he wouldn’t be able to even hit the ball disappearance of the taillights on Fords Caddy-lac and b
much less see it. Baldy, being the beertender hadn’t been we all went home to lick our wounds. P
i
drinking much. But we weren’t done with Bill Baldonnato yet
~
We all retired to our own places of retirement. as I’ll relate to you sometime in the near future in the
At nine am sharp we were all assembled at the first Baldonnato Saga part three.
driving place. That is all but Ford. There were those of us That’s it for now folks. Thanks for listening.
who said OK that’s it, he forfeits. Others of us said, let’s ~ Virgil Vaupel