Living with

Deafness
 Contents

Introduction 04
Audiogram 05
Deafness 06
Misconceptions 07
Isolation 08
Struggle 09
Strategies with Deafness 10
Self cafe & Mental Health 11
Sign Language 12
Advice for Hearing people 13
 Introduction
Deafness has immense challenges to overcome and deal
with on a daily basis. It can be difficult for a deaf person
to cope everyday life in the hearing world into which
they have been born.

Deafness is a hidden disability; unless you see their

hearing aids or you speak and interact with a deaf
person you would know they are deaf. Communication
is the biggest area where they can struggle.

Some deaf people identify proudly as deaf and would

say it’s not a disability; that the word ‘disability’ is nega-
tive and implies a person is unintelligent and incapable
of being able to achieve things.

The deaf world has its own community, culture, way of

life and language rich with expression and vocabulary.

To be deaf usually means to identify as a person who

cannot hear at all while someone who has hearing loss
would be described as Hard of Hearing (HoH).

There are varying levels of hearing loss, from acute,

moderate, severe and profound.

Wearing hearing aids is not the same as a person

wearing spectacles; it is not an antidote which fixes a
person’ts hearing. They only try to push up the levels
which a person cannot hear to compensate for the loss
of hearing.
 Audiogram
Freq 125 250 500 1000 2000 4000 8000
-10
0
Normal
10
20
30 Acute
40
50
60
Moderate
70
80 Severe
90
100
110
Profound
120
130
140
Deaf
Db

Above is a diagram of an Audiogram showing the

different levels of hearing.
Normally a person with hearing will be able to hear a
full range of frequencies (Freq) and decibels (Db).

Though the more hard of hearing and deaf a person is

the less frequencies and sound they are able to hear.

A person who is deaf may be able to hear and detect

pitch and sound, they could struggle to hear the high
frequencies of a bike bell or low hum of a car motor.

The frequencies which a person cannot hear can vary to

each person’s deafness from high to low frequencies.
 Deafness
If you are becoming hard of hearing you are going to
face the most profound and hardest of challenges yet.
You will experience isolation, loneliness, exclusion, dis-
crimination, sadness, frustration, neglect and vulner-
ability that you’ll have to deal with daily as a result of
hearing loss.
To give perspective to a hearing person; you can be in
front of people and in the company of others and not
be able to hear or be part of the conversation.
Slowly the conversation will slip away in front of you
and miss important parts which means you’ll feel com-
pletely removed from the conversation and everything
happening around you.
It’s overwhelming, tiring and painful to endure this
constantly and is the small things you miss out on
which make interaction significant, a joke here or chat-
ter there that you don’t catch which would form into a
conversation.
It’s difficult too because you’ll be working twice as
hard just to hear what a hearing person can and likely
be the only one experiencing this whilst everyone else
who can hear.
Currently there is a lack of full understanding of what
deaf & hard of hearing people go through.
 Misconceptions
There are a lot of misconceptions people may think
and can assume about deafness or hard of hearing.
Being Hard of Hearing doesn’t just means you can’t
hear as well as a hearing person. Though can mean
you need more time to hear what was said.
It can affect a whole spectrum of being able to interact
and communicate with others. From listening, speak-
ing, social cues, depicting pitch, pronouncing words,
finding the right moment to be able to speak and
include yourself in a conversation.
Being deaf does not mean someone needs to be overly
praised for doing the most basic of tasks.
Being deaf means we are just the same as anyone else
and can achieve the same things a hearing person can.
Being deaf does not mean a person is stupid, unintel-
ligent or incapable of independent thought.
When you cut short a deaf person it is cruel and dis-
misses them completely as a person and demeans their
existence.
It might have been the third of fourth time you’ve had
to repeat something though you have to remember to
a deaf person it is only the first time they have heard
what was said.
 Isolation
The most challenging aspect of deafness that you will
face is dealing with isolation.
It is not the one isolated incident which you mishear
someone or a conversation that breaks you, though,
rather the constant reoccurrence of having to face this
and isolation that can bring you to breaking point.
You’ll be focusing of all your energy just trying to hear
what people are saying in front of you and met with lit-
tle or no sympathy and only yourself to rely on.
In addition you’ll also be compensating for all the ad-
ditional sounds in the background that can cut through
(music, traffic, other people talking, air conditioning,
machinery, a pen tapping)
It will feel overwhelming and you may feel at loss with
yourself trying to deal with these aspects all by in
isolation.
You’ll also experience extended periods of feeling alone
even in front of others.
There is no easy way around this, you can only accept
this and face it head on.
You learn to grow a thick skin and develop your own
strategies in living and dealing with deafness.
Learning to accept and be happy with yourself and who
you are is key in coming to terms with deafness.
 Struggle
Where you struggle and what makes you weak can
only make you stronger.
Despite the huge challenges deafness brings there is
a hidden strength to be gained and an innate will and
desire to overcome deafness and live a full life.
Every interruption, cut off, dismissal, put down and
isolation can only drive that will further to live and
show others that you are not thick, that you do exist,
that you do matter and count.
Embrace and accept the struggle within and
discrimination face on. Grow within your own
moral force and conviction to stand up for yourself.
There’s no shoulder to cry on and no one who can
save you though only yourself.
Laugh inside at not hearing others and how you
internalise it. Try not to take it to heart someone
doesn’t talk to you or wants little to do with you.
Do not dismiss or think of yourself any less just
because others don’t look past deafness.
Don’t be hard on yourself, you cannot help it that you
cannot hear well or others sometimes.
Learn to accept deafness and find peace and
happiness within yourself.
 Strategies with Deafness
One strategy on overcoming deafness is to find a hobby,
sport, music, interest, creativity or something you enjoy
doing to focus on.
Get lost and in the zone. It is here you’ll create a
positive outlet to channel and deal with the additional
feelings deafness has such as frustration, exclusion,
isolation, sadness and anger which harbour inside.
You will also develop confidence and self esteem within
yourself and the potential to exceed what you thought
you could not achieve.
Make an interest or hobby your lifestyle and rhythm of
life. Set a routine to aim doing something a few times
week.
Learn sign language and engage within the Deaf
Community or attend a local Deaf Club.
You’ll find friends and sympathy who truly
understand you and what you are going through.
Find time to look after yourself and to listen to your
internal dialogue and body.
You are only your own best friend in the end and it is
important to deal and develop positive coping
strategies living with deafness than to turn towards
self destructive and hurtful outlets to deal with
how you are feeling.
Self cafe & Mental Health
Because of the challenges being Deaf and Hard of
Hearing has, taking care of yourself and your mental
health is just as important.
Be true to yourself, only you know what you are feeling.
Make yourself your priority and trust your instinct and
your consciousness.
This could be when you feel that a conversation has
slipped beyond your control or feel vulnerable when
someone is trying to advantage of you not hearing.
Give yourself space and yourself the chance to
control this situation. Allow yourself to move and take
a breather or break for a few minutes for yourself to
regain your energy again.
Learn to find love within yourself and make yourself
feel fulfilled even if you might have felt deprived from
the lack of being able to grasp a conversation or feel
unvalidated or not present in front of others.
Try not to fall into negative or bad mind spaces. The
more you do this only feeds upon negativity and can
distort your perception resulting in only hurting
yourself.
Allow yourself to let you feelings pass, sometimes you
will feel upset, frustrated, angry or sad. You shouldn’t
suppress these and know this too will pass.
 Sign Language
Did you know that when a baby is born that it can
learn to sign faster than it can learn to speak?
Sign Language is a beautiful, emotional and expressive
language to learn.
Even if you are hearing, remember every time you could
not hear your friend in a pub or bar?
Imagine how fast and efficient it could be if you learnt
a few basic signs and could communicate with sign
language instead.
For someone completely deaf it is also different to a
person who is Hard of Hearing.
Structure and language in sign language is learnt
differently to English grammar.
You would put the question at end of a sentence where
in English where you’d put it at the start.
Sign language also varies being differently to each loca-
tion regionally just like how slang is and is different
internationally too.
Advice for Hearing people

If you are hearing, do not dismiss a deaf person.

Give them the chance to speak, give them space and
the opportunity to become valid and present in a
conversation.
Make sure you have a deaf persons attention before
communicating and that they can read your lips.

Do not prey upon a deaf person who cannot hear, or

undermine, mock and laugh at them.
Stand up for a deaf person, give encouragement and
respect their existence.
These mere seconds of time aside making a
difference to a deaf person’s life, allowing them to be
included will be remembered and gratefully received
and respected.